Costa Rica Star

Costa Rican Gayday


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I drew this cartoon last week for The Costa Rica Star.

Costa Rica’s uber-evangelical candidate Fabricio Alvarado’s team has stated being gay doesn’t mean a maybe-future Fabricio administration won’t hire you. It just means that you probably won’t be able to work for them and if you do, you have to stay in the closet.

If you do become a member of the Alvarado administration, you can’t engage in homosexual behavior, like being in a gay pride parade, which is an example they cited. You also probably will not be tolerated if you give off a perceived gay vibe.

Fabricio is in a statistical dead heat with Carlos Alvarado (no relation). Fabricio has pulled out of five planned debates, most likely because Carlos will eat him alive. Fabricio doesn’t really have any position except being anti-gay. Seriously. His entire platform is, no gays, no gays, no gays. He is so afraid of gays that he’s probably gayer than Mike Pence.

Fabricio is the candidate for the National Restoration Party, which is very religious. Fabricio himself is a preacher and a Christian singer. It’ll be like electing an ignorant game-show host to your nation’s highest office. I wish there was an example where that’s already in place, so I can point out how it doesn’t work.

Carlos is from the Citizen Action Party, which is caught up in the Cementazo scandal (which Fabricio isn’t entirely clean of himself) and hasn’t done anything with its leadership role to pull the nation out of debt, repair the economy, or restore its credit rating. While Carlos’ party is responsible for most of the nation’s ills, Fabricio doesn’t even know what they are.

In the early 1990s, the race for Louisiana’s governor was between former Democratic governor Edwin Edwards, who had a history of corruption, and former grand wizard David Duke. There were bumper stickers in the state which read, “Vote for the crook. It’s important.”

Carlos Alvarado hasn’t been shown to be a crook at all. His greatest crime so far is that he’s associated with a party that’s failed to lead the nation out of debt and restore its economy.

But, the voting citizens of Costa Rica need to vote for Carlos Alvarado. It’s important.

Here’s the video.

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Discovering Water In Costa Rica


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Here’s this week’s cartoon for The Costa Rica Star.

The Discovery channel is bringing a huge theme park to Costa Rica. It’s going to land in the city of Liberia in the Guanacaste province.

One big issue is water. There is a water shortage in Guanacaste. The theme park is going to use a LOT of water. It’s a 2000 acre water park full of hotels and restaurants. The business and government says not to worry as the park will be self-sustainable and they have their own wells. So, if all this water is available for a theme park then why hasn’t it been available for the public? Also, what happens when the wells run dry? Will they then ask to borrow from their neighbors?

Other than that, theme parks just piss me off. Sure they’re tourist traps and they’ll bring in a lot of money for the community. The park promises to employ close to 2000 jobs during the construction and hopefully those jobs will go to locals. All of the investors are foreigners. Discovery isn’t actually building the park. They’re leasing their name.

But why go to Costa Rica and visit a theme park? If you go to Costa Rica, then see Costa Rica. Not a water park. Go to the ocean and jump in the water. Take a tour through the jungle and see crocodiles, monkeys, sloths. Not a fat American in a Speedo. You don’t have to leave the United States to see that.

The people who will visit a water park in Costa Rica are the same uncultured nitwits who’ll go to Tijuana and eat at Taco Bell. When you visit Beijing, don’t go to Panda Express. When you’re in New York City you’re not going to eat at Sbarro, are you? My mother would have and then she would hit the Walmart.

When I lived in Hawaii I was constantly trying to get my mom to visit. My mom loved to travel and see new places but she was intimidated about going to Hawaii. I think it was the idea of flying over an ocean. But one thing she asked every time we talked on the phone was “have you found the Walmart yet?” Mom had to go to Walmart no matter where she was. Even if she didn’t need anything she had to go to Walmart. She was a Walmart junkie.

She visited me in Virginia. During her visit she saw an ad for an outside garbage can at Walmart. She told me and my wife (I was married at the time) about the sale. I said “but we have a garbage can. It’s new.” She was adamant. “But this one’s on sale.” I told her again “we already have a garbage can. Buying another one is just a waste of money.” She continued “but this one’s on sale.” We went back and forth and I put my foot down and laid down the law. “I don’t need a new garbage can, Mom!!!! Don’t waste money and buy that garbage can today. When I got home that night, there was the same garbage can from the ad sitting outside, right next to the old garbage can. The new one wasn’t even an improvement. It was just a big freaking rubber can.

Anyway, my mom would totally go to the theme park in Costa Rica and never see a sloth and she’d drive me nuts while doing it. I told her there was one Walmart in Honolulu and she really wanted me to find it, even though she wasn’t going to visit. I never did find that Walmart because I never looked for it. You can go a year without visiting Walmart.

It seems everyone I know is going to Costa Rica. When you go, don’t go to the theme park. When you’re a tourist, try not to be so much of a tourist.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Make Nicaragua Pay For It


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This ran last Friday in The Costa Rica Star.

Costa Rica’s president Luis Guillermo Solís visited Washington last week and had a meeting with U.S. vice president Mike Pence. Since Silos is a male, Pence’s wife didn’t have to attend the meeting (What is that about? Pence won’t meet or have a meal in a restaurant with a woman unless his wife is present). And why couldn’t Solis meet the big guy, Trump?

Costa Rica has immigration issues that are quite different from the United States. It’s not that Costa Ricans are fleeing their nation. It’s that people are going to Costa Rica illegally. Not you, you filthy, American. They like you. If you’re from the U.S. you don’t even need a Visa to stay in that nation. Just leave every 90 days, get that passport stamped in another country, and return.

A lot of immigrants are from Africa who are carted to Central America with the United States being their eventual destination. The idea is, they’re sold a bill of goods to land in Central America and then “easily” venture north to the U.S. Not so easy. What happens is they get stuck in Central America in a refugee camp. Some of those become Costa Rica’s problem. The people who were paid to bring them in from Africa? Not their problem anymore.

Another issue is Nicaragua. Costa Rica has a very stable government and economy. They don’t even have an army. Nicaragua doesn’t have a violence problem, but they do have serious issues with their economy, electricity, drinking water, etc. They don’t look north for the American dream. They look south for the Costa Rican dream. The border is loosely guarded and they speak the same language. It’s also a short trip.

On top of all this the U.S. wants Costa Rica to host migrants from Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador, before they enter the U.S.

So if Costa Rica wants to build a wall, which I don’t think anyone is seriously proposing, they want it to only stop people from coming in. Maybe they can do tire spikes on one side.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Peddling In Crocs


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Here’s this week’s cartoon for The Costa Rica Star.

I was reading a story how bicycling can be very dangerous in Costa Rica. It seems drivers don’t really care, or look out for cyclists. It’s not that different here. Though in Costa Rica there was a huge protest on this issue.

I heard a joke before, well I think it’s supposed to be a joke: People in cars hate pedestrians. Pedestrians hate people in cars. Pedestrians and drivers hate people on bicycles. The most annoying thing about cyclists is that they don’t realize they’re supposed to use the rules of the road, just as a car or motorcycle. That doesn’t mean you run red lights. It also doesn’t mean you ride on sidewalks and yell at people to get out of your way.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Vultures, Sharks, And Hyenas, Oh My!


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Here’s last week’s cartoon for The Costa Rica Star. I meant to post it here Saturday but I was so overwhelmed with a huge full-page cartoon (you’ll see in November) that it totally skipped my mind. Sorry about that.

The rain in Costa Rica is forcing a higher number of crocodiles than usual to turn up on the nation’s Pacific beaches. A surfer is actually attempting to sue the government over the issue. It’s probably really hard to leash train a crocodile.

I’ve drawn a lot of crocs lately. I’ll try to cut that out. Even this time while not drawing crocs I was able to do a vulture, shark, and hyena. I really love drawing those.

There will be another cartoon for The Star this Friday.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Expat Club


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This was drawn for exclusive use by The Costa Rica Star.

Every election there’s a celebrity, or two, or a bunch, who threaten to move out of the country if their guy loses. They’re usually full of crap. We’re still waiting on Rush Limbaugh to move to Costa Rica after promising if Obamacare became law. He probably found out Costa Rica has national healthcare.

Robert Altman threatened to move to France if George W. Bush was elected president in 2000. He didn’t. Alec Baldwin and Eddie Vedder also threatened to move to another country if Bush won. They didn’t. Stephen Baldwin (the stupid Baldwin) threatened to leave if Obama won the nomination, and he didn’t. Akon announced he’d revoke his U.S. citizenship and Seal threatened to move to South Africa if McCain beat Obama in 2008. Tina Fey threatened to leave the planet but mostly so she wouldn’t have four years of impersonating Sarah Palin (who’s already on a different planet). Today, we have more than usual threatening to leave if Trump wins.

Lena Dunham, who created a TV show I’ve never seen, has threatened to move to Vancouver if Trump wins. For the Trump supporters having this blog read to them, Vancouver is in Canada.

Other celebs who have threatened to leave are Miley Cyrus (oh please don’t go), Barbra Streisand (who also threatened to leave in 2000 but didn’t), Cher (Jupiter), George Lopez (not that anyone would notice except Mexico after they got the talk show), and Jon Stewart who has threatened to strap himself to a rocket and leave Earth. There are many others but most aren’t worth mentioning. I couldn’t find any threatening to leave when, I mean if, Clinton wins. Hmm?

There are communities in Canada and Ireland that want to increase their populations so they’re actually welcoming American Skittles, I mean refugees, if Trump wins. For the most part I’m sure Canada doesn’t want a huge migrant stampede coming over their border. They might have to build a wall.

Threatening to leave is just posturing. You want to play in the political process but if you don’t like the results you’ll leave your fellow countrymen to live with the consequences. Well screw you, buddy. I don’t really see how my life will change if Barbra Streisand lives in Canada.

I’m sure I’d enjoy a trip to Costa Rica, but I’m not moving. This is my country and I’m staying for better or worse, kneeling or standing during an anthem. I’m not bailing when things get rough. Someone has to stay and give the man the finger. If I survived eight stupid years of George W. Bush I can survive Donald Trump, right? That is until Trump starts throwing cartoonists in prison for making his lips look like a butt hole.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Costa Rica Uber


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Today’s cartoon I drew for The Costa Rica Star isn’t just fun, it’s educational! My work is just like the Electric Company…for adults.

Prostitution is legal in Costa Rica. Uber is not. In fact, there have been protests by the Red Taxis, which is the only service that’s legal in the nation. Talk about having a conglomerate. There are individuals in the country who will give you a ride who are not actual cab drivers and they’re commonly referred to as “pirates.” You’ll get there arrrrrrventually.

If you’re a tourist in Costa Rica you are probably better off using a taxi, even if you don’t like them. The roads are questionable, a lot of streets don’t have markers and the addresses of places where you’re going probably won’t be listed on the building.

With all this info you would think I had actually been to Costa Rica. I have not.

So next time you’re in Costa Rica, your hooker is legal and your cab ride may not be. If you take a pirate cab you probably have more to fear from the Red Taxis than a pimp. Good advice.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!