Speak American


cjones09072015

Stop the presses. Sarah Palin said something stupid.

There’s a few fake news sites that attempt to be as funny and irreverent as The Onion, but they fail. They create fake stories of people like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Alan West, Donald Trump, etc, saying stuff really incredibly stupid…and totally believable. There’s two problems with this. The first is people believe the quotes are true and they share them on social media.

The quote “If dinosaur bones are millions of years old, then why are they so clean when they’re in museums?” does sound like something Michele Bachmann would say, but she didn’t. Another one people, especially liberals, fell for was “send immigrants back across ocean to Mexico”which was attributed to Sarah Palin. I know we want to believe these but do some research before you share and stop being so gullible. That’s the conservatives’ specialty.

The second problem is you don’t need to create quotes for these people.

So when news popped up Sunday that while defending Trump for bashing Jeb Bush for speaking Spanish, Palin said “when you’re here, let’s speak American.” I had to check to make sure it was true. She can’t be that stupid, can she? She can and she is. I actually watched the video which was painful because Palin has a difficult time completing a sentence. This is the same person who gave us “refudiate.” Maybe she should go back to writing crib notes on the palm of her hand. She could get someone else to do the writing as long as it’s not Bristol. How hard is it to write down “condoms?”

Sarah, the language the majority of United States citizens are speaking, and the one you’re attempting, is English. You should try it and set an example for all those immigrants who are annoying you. I didn’t realize there was such an epidemic of Spanish being spoken in Alaska.

While you’re researching about language, Mrs. Palin, you might also discover that America constitutes all of North and South America. Being American is not exclusive to those born within our borders. Hell, she might even be able to find this information in a book with pop-up pictures.

If nothing else, the above example illustrates that you don’t have to create stupid quotes for people like Sarah Palin. Be patient. She’ll contribute shortly. I know it’s difficult to speak coherently for a mouth breather, but she will come through.

During the same interview Palin said she would be interested in joining Donald Trump’s cabinet as Secretary of Energy and then destroy the department (isn’t that just like her to quit a job before the term is over?). She wants all decisions on energy in the hands of state governments. I just wonder how that will affect our nuclear weapons, nuclear power, and nuclear reactor production for the U.S. Navy, which is all handled by the Department of Energy. I also wonder if there’s a “Running The U.S. Department Of Energy For Dummies.”

I really hate cartoons using Native Americans and Pilgrims as an analogy on immigration because they’ve been done since we started talking about immigration. I think I’ve seen about 12 this month alone. But I thought it was kinda original here because the only real “American” languages are the ones that belong to Native Americans. That’s my excuse for using this old analogy.

 

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2 comments

  1. Stupidity is universal but those in the public eye seem more prone than most. As a Brit I really don’t envy you guys choosing from these good folk.

    Interesting point about the real American Language

    Like

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