Sarah Palin

Schmuck Amuck

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It’s weird how Republicans claim they love the United States Constitution, refer to themselves as “constitutionalists,” yet hate press freedom and do everything in their power to destroy it. The Supreme Court has affirmed the right to a free press time and time again, yet Republicans like Donald Trump have argued to limit press freedom, if not outright destroy it.

Donald Trump once said “It’s frankly disgusting the press is able to write whatever they want to write. People should look into it.” Trump believes a free press is disgusting. The man who told more than 25,000 lies as president has often referred to legitimate news outlets as “fake news” and has called journalists the “enemies of the American people.” Fascists hate a free press and they’re the ones “looking into it.”

If you want to know what press coverage is like in a nation that doesn’t have a free press, take a look at the questions the state media in China have been asking during the Olympics. While western reporters ask about Peng Shui and why it took six weeks for Kamila Valieva’s positive drug tests to come to light, Chinese reporters were asking about the athletes’ favorite dishes and how many roast ducks would be served.

China’s press questioning Chinese government officials is like watching Donald Trump being interviewed by a goon from Fox News. How many roast ducks has Donald Trump tried to flush down a toilet?

But it’s not because of libel that Sarah Palin’s image is in the toilet. The reason Sarah Palin’s image and reputation are in the toilet is that she’s an idiot and a raging lunatic.

Sarah Palin sued The New York Times for defamation but failed to prove her case. The Supreme Court set a standard in 1964 in New York Times v. Sullivan that public figures, which Sarah Palin is, have to prove “actual malice.” A public figure must prove a defamatory statement was made “with knowledge that it was false or with reckless disregard of whether it was false or not.”

Reporters and news outlets make mistakes all the time. The most reliable news outlets in the world make mistakes, and then they own them, issue corrections, and do not cover them up. A news outlet is NOT supposed to report something they know is false, like Fox News did when they reported that those attacking the Capitol building were Antifa, Democrats, and the FBI and when they reported Dominion voting machines were corrupted.

Palin claims her reputation was damaged by the Times editorial bearing the headline “America’s Lethal Politics” that incorrectly linked her to a 2011 mass shooting in Arizona that nearly killed then-U.S. Representative Gabby Giffords.

The Times quickly published a correction saying “no such link was established” and the editor then in charge of that section, James Bennet, issued a public apology.

Palin failed to prove the Times knowingly published false information. Her case was initially thrown out in 2017, but a three-judge panel of a federal appellate court in Manhattan reinstated it in 2019 saying the judge should have given Palin’s team more time to obtain emails and other evidence that might help their case.

The judge dismissed her suit while the jury was deliberating. The jury did come back with a ruling in favor of the Times.

Palin didn’t just fail to prove the Times knowingly published false information, but she also failed to explain how she was damaged. During the trial, she didn’t want footage of her Masked Singer performance to be shown as she was afraid it’d cause “unfair prejudice and confusion” in the jury. Unfortunately for Sarah Palin, the public has been prejudiced about her being a moron long before her Masked Singer appearance because she is a moron.

Palin probably expected to lose and just wanted to establish a narrative that the Times was sloppy and you can’t trust a free press. It joins the constant attacks from Donald Trump. She probably didn’t lose any money in this suit as it was probably bankrolled by billionaire goons. She had the same lawyers who argued Hulk Hogan’s invasion of privacy lawsuit that bankrupted Gawker (who published a video of Hulk Hogan having sex with a friend’s wife), which was funded by tech billionaire Peter Thiel, a….wait for it…Donald Trump supporter. Thiel was seeking revenge on Gawker for outing him as gay. So, who bankrolled Palin’s lawsuit against the Times? Also, whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on your wife? How does a person get over that?

Press freedom lives another day…for now. An appeal by Palin would have to go through at least one more court before it could reach the Supreme Court, but if it gets there, things can get dicey for American journalism. Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch has expressed interest in revisiting the Sullivan case and Clarence Thomas has outright stated he would vote against upholding that landmark decision. Can those two goons get three more justices to go along with them to destroy press freedom…thus freedom of speech?

Here’s the thing, kids: Press freedom doesn’t belong to liberals or conservatives. It belongs to everyone. Free speech is a Constitutional right and if you try to kill it because someone said something you don’t like, you’re not just killing it for your enemies. You’ll be killing it for yourself.

But then again, people like Donald Trump and Sarah Palin are dumbasses.

And in Sarah Palin’s case, she’s just Daffy.

Creative note: The second panel of this cartoon is based on Duck Amuck, an animated Merrie Melodies short written by Michael Maltese and directed by Chuck Jones. In the cartoon, Daffy Duck is being tormented by his animator (spoiler alert) who is revealed at the end to be Bugs Bunny. Much like Bugs, I too am a stinker.

Music Note: Today’s tooning tunes were from The Killers, The Ting Tings, The Shins, and Silverchair.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

John McCain

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Yeah, I know. I’m kind of a jerk. While every other political cartoonist in the United States is praising John McCain and cursing his brain cancer, I’m the one fucker who remembers that he unleashed the Hillbilly Kraken.

While I should do a nice cartoon now and then, I don’t find them very bold. They’re boring, and they don’t challenge people. It’s not like cancer is going to write me a hate letter or slash my tires. Hell, when you criticize drug addictions, drug addicts don’t write hate letters cursing you out. First off, they’re too high to write legibly and second, no one really outs himself as a crack head in a letter to the editor.

But, I do like John McCain. Do you know why I like John McCain? Because, it’s not simple with him like it is with other politicians. You either love or hate them. Donald Trump is an extreme example but let’s use him. He’s a horrible person and I don’t see one redeemable quality about the man. I can’t even fall back on the Hillary Clinton’s required compliment of him, that she admires his children. Really? Those people? The animal killers who exploit child labor in Asia and hold treasonous meetings with Russians? Has she even seen his children? Now, the people who love Trump love him unconditionally. They have to lie about him to justify it, but they still love him.

With John McCain, you think how this guy has a lot of conservative ideas that are really regressive and extreme. He’s said some really stupid things like singing “bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran” to the tune of the Beach Boys’ “Barbara Ann.” He once joked “Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? – Because Janet Reno is her father.” He was against a national holiday for Martin Luther King.

He’s also the guy who lobbed heavy criticism at the religious right. He changed his mind on the MLK holiday. He defended Obama from a crazy lady (who wasn’t Sarah Palin) at one of his campaign events who said Obama was a terrorist.

Of course, we remember his service in the Navy and the fact he was a prisoner of war held in Hanoi for over five years. While he was a prisoner he was tortured daily, and he still carries the scars and disabilities from that. He turned down the opportunity for an early release because prisoners captured before him were not offered the same opportunity.

He’s also sarcastic, kinda angry, and really good with a comeback. I like angry people. During his first campaign for a congressional seat in Arizona, he was accused of being a carpetbagger.

He responded to one critic with, “Listen, pal. I spent 22 years in the Navy. My father was in the Navy. My grandfather was in the Navy. We in the military service tend to move a lot. We have to live in all parts of the country, all parts of the world. I wish I could have had the luxury, like you, of growing up and living and spending my entire life in a nice place like the First District of Arizona, but I was doing other things. As a matter of fact, when I think about it now, the place I lived longest in my life was Hanoi.”

That pretty much killed the carpetbagger issue for McCain.

What I like most about McCain, or used to, was that he was the one guy from either party who would tell his own party to go F themselves. I even voted for him in the 2000 primary (never again after that).

I met McCain several years ago at a cartoonists convention in Washington, D.C. He spoke to our group when John Edwards, who was originally booked, canceled. I colleague of mine posted on Facebook that he had a photo of McCain and I having a conversation and I thought “I don’t recall having a one-on-one conversation with McCain.” As it turns out, my friend was confused and it was another cartoonist. I can’t recall anything McCain said to us. But it was very cool that he showed up without any notice to fill in for Edwards (who told us something came up, but it later turned out he just didn’t want to do it). He probably had a date.

I do like John McCain, even though he once thought Sarah Palin was qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency. I wish him well and a speedy recovery. As everyone else has said, if there’s anyone who can beat cancer, it’s John McCain.

I’m going to let my friend and fellow cartoonist Dwane Powell from North Carolina have the last word today. Yesterday, he made a post on Facebook about McCain speaking to our group:

McCain drives me nuts sometimes politically, but in the next move stirs my admiration. His ordeal in Vietnam needs no explanation, but I’ll relate a McCain story. A few years ago our cartoonist association, the AAEC, was meeting in DC. Since I was from NC, they asked if I could secure Senator John Edwards, a Presidential wannabe to speak to our group. Since I knew him personally I said I could probably do it. I spoke to one of his staffers who assured me that he’d be happy to do it, so we were prepared for him to speak. Arriving in DC and checking in with his office we were told he had another commitment and wouldn’t be able to join us. At the last minute we contacted McCain who energetically bounced over from wherever he was to fill the slot. I’ve been pissed at Edwards ever since, as I later learned he really had no excuse. Hat’s off to McCain and Godspeed against this cancer diagnosis.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

The McCain Blame

On Thursday Senator John McCain blamed President Obama for creating ISIS and having a hand in the attack in Orlando. I guess he forgot about that entire episode where President Bush invaded the wrong country, destabilizing it and creating a world class recruitment center and haven for terrorists. It must have slipped his mind.

After accusing the president of treason and coming off as ridiculous as Donald Trump, McCain attempted to clarify his statement. He said his intention was to blame Obama’s policies, not as if Obama was personally cutting off journalists’ heads in the desert outside Raqqa.

McCain is in a tough primary race for his senate seat in Arizona. Now may not be the best time for him to make stupid statements. To retain his seat he needs to distance himself as far as possible from Donald Trump, not mimic him. What’s McCain’s next move, a photo op with a taco bowl while accusing himself of not being a war hero?

Before McCain picked a running mate in his failed presidential attempt in 2008, nobody outside Alaska has ever heard of Sarah Palin. Since that time we’ve suffered eight years of a tidal wave of stupidity that even Donald Trump has had trouble duplicating. Thanks, Senator. It’s the stupid that keeps on giving.

Speaking of stupid, Sarah Palin also had some criticism of President Obama this week. She probably does that every week but this one was noticeable. She said the president is a “special kind of stupid” over his efforts toward gun control. Seriously. Miss Right Winger Bitter Clinger has called someone else stupid. Next, her daughter will start lecturing about abstinence.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

What Apology?

Critics of Obama have a very vivid imagination. He’s signed more executive orders and appointed more czars than others presidents. He was born in Kenya. He’s a Muslim. He’s invading Texas. He’s coming to get our guns. He’s secretly planning to serve a third term (I heard that one the other day). He’s touring the world apologizing for American exceptionalism.

Conservatives and liberals can disagree without making stuff up. There are plenty of things to disagree about regarding Obamacare without scaring the public that there will be death panels deciding who lives and dies.

Obama gave a speech last week in Hiroshima, Japan and a lot of wackaloos are convinced he apologized for the United States dropping the atomic bomb to end World War II. Columnist Charles Krauthammer didn’t hear an apology so he says it was “implicit.” Sarah Palin didn’t hear it either but she doesn’t know the word “implicit” so she went on a huge rant about the president’s “victory lap.” It was more imaginary than implicit.

The president actually spoke of the evil of the Axis powers and justified that the United States put an end to it. But ya’ know, that’s not good enough for Obama’s critics, who I think would harm the United States if it’d embarrass the president.

Did any of these conservatives claiming the president apologized actually listen to his speech? Maybe they did and their problem is comprehension. Maybe when they’re listening to a rational person it’s like when we have to listen to Sarah Palin and attempt to make sense out of it.

It’s bad when hatred of Obama makes normally intelligent people, like Charles Krauthammer, stupid. That’s at least one area where Sarah Palin can’t blame the president.

By the way, your racism toward the president…you may not be saying the “word” but it’s implicit.

V.P. Caribou

Sarah Palin gave on interview on CNN this past Sunday. Oh boy, here we go. There was talk of her being Trump’s vice presidential selection. Palin stated that she is the most vetted person available. She might be right. If there’s one thing most Americans will agree on is that Sarah Palin is an idiot.

I have noticed over the years that when the national consensus on a public figure is their lack of intelligence, the perception never diminishes with the figure continuing to speak publicly. Did the images ever improve for Dan Quayle, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Michele Bachmann, or George W. Bush? No. Sarah Palin hasn’t helped herself at all in this regard. She has only reinforced it.

When Palin was first introduced to the American public as John McCain’s running mate, many liberals, Democrats, and even moderates were underwhelmed with her intellect, or overwhelmed with her lack of it. Within a few months a few conservatives were less defensive of her. Even a couple years later during her “Blood Libel” retort to Obama on gun violence, many conservatives were still defending her. A former colleague of mine, a writer now with a think tank, wrote a column in response to a cartoon of mine on her and he wrote that Palin’s speech was “exceptional.” I thought it was exceptionally stupid. I’m not sure how many are still drinking that toxic Kool-Aid. It seems today most conservatives are strangely silent about her.

During Palin’s interview with Jake Tapper on CNN she mostly talked about helping defeat Speaker of the House Paul Ryan in his upcoming primary. She wants to “Cantor” him. In her defense, while talking about how “vetted” she is, she also said she didn’t want to be a burden on the Trump campaign. It wouldn’t burden me.

The other topic of this cartoon concerns Trump accusing Hillary Clinton of “enabling” her husband’s infidelity. Trump, who is still slinging insults like a 5th grader believes it’s a woman’s fault when her husband cheats. I wonder if his two ex wives were enablers for all his affairs. I would love to hear that question come up during his first debate with Hillary Clinton.

The “bimbo” assault on Bill Clinton failed in 1992. It failed again in 1996. They eventually impeached the president over it in 1999, and they failed to remove him from office. It didn’t hurt Hillary Clinton during her first or second Senate campaigns in New York nor did it harm her first presidential run in 2008. The slow learners that they are, Republicans will do it again.

We’re about to have six months of a presidential race completely devoid of substance from the Republican side. And they wonder why Paul Ryan doesn’t want to sign on.

Palin’s Blame Game

I wanted to draw a cartoon on the whiteness of the Oscars. I also want to do one on the Flint water crisis which is a more important issue. But Sarah Palin won’t shut up.

I didn’t want to do something on Palin two days in a row. In case you didn’t get the reference in yesterday’s cartoon, the “bag of hammers” was a reference to the Grizzly Mama. I couldn’t resist after her second day in a row of being a blabbering mess. This time she blamed Obama for her son’s recent arrest.

In case you’re not in the know, Palin’s son, Track (yes, that’s his name), was arrested for domestic violence. He’s accused of punching a girl he’s in a relationship with, being drunk while doing so, and there was a firearm involved. Police say his Trackness was “uncooperative, belligerent and evasive” during their questioning, which helped lead to the arrest.

Republicans love to blame Obama for everything. I thought it couldn’t reach a higher level of ridiculousness until Sarah said it was Obama’s neglect of our troops that led to her son’s PTSD that caused him to strike a woman. She said that? You betcha.

Anytime I make fun of her daughter, Bristol, the Palin supporters come after me. They say it’s unfair to pick on her. First off, I’m not fair. Second, Bristol has put herself into the discussion. She blogs her idiotic opinions on politics and current events, and is an advocate for abstinence yet she keeps getting knocked up by different dudes while remaining unmarried. Yeah, she’s fair game.

I promise I’ll try not to draw a Palin cartoon tomorrow. I’m sure Sarah Palin can’t top her last stupid statement before the week’s over. She can’t, right?

The Endorsement’s In The Bag

Oh happy day! Sarah Palin’s back. Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump for president today. The only way life could get better for a political cartoonist would be if Trump makes her his veep pick while ditching Melania and proposing to her.

Palin chose between Trump and Ted Cruz. Even if you’re choosing between those two for your vote, you’re a special kind of stupid. She endorsed Cruz for his Senate run and he was very saddened not to get her support this time as he wouldn’t be required to go duck hunting with camo makeup on his face like he had to do for the endorsement of those Duck Dynasty lunatics.

It was Trump’s second endorsement of the day. Earlier in the day he picked up the endorsement from John Wayne’s family. Trump talked about how John Wayne, from Iowa, displayed toughness and a manly swagger (I made that up but it’s the gist of what he said). John Wayne, real name “Marion”, served World War II on a movie set. He never shot at anyone nor was he shot at. He wasn’t even a real cowboy but he was a white supremacist. So I’m sure the endorsement from his family is really going to cement that conservative Iowa vote. At least he didn’t do a Michele Bachmann and confuse John Wayne with the serial killer John Wayne Gacy, though perhaps with relatives still available they can endorse Ted Cruz.

Palin showed up at a Trump event and gave a speech that totally wowed the crowd. Wowed or confused them. It was hard to tell but they were really quiet. There’s speculation that a large percentage of the crowd were college kids forced to attend while pledging a fraternity.

During her speech Sarah uttered such brilliants Palinisms as status quo slurping off the gravy train, safety nets into hammocks, “rock ‘n’ rollers and holy rollers” make the world go round, Right-wingin’, bitter-clingin’, proud clingers of our guns,our God, and our religions and our Constitution, wearing political correctness like a suicide vest, drill baby drill, squirmishes, yelling Allah Akbar, no more pussyfooting around, and can I get a hallelujah for the main thing.

So after hearing her speech we’re pretty sure she either endorsed Trump or suffered a tiny stroke.

Any time I say something even the slightest bit critical of Palin right wingers really come after me. It’s always amusing to be insulted by people who share Palin’s clarity and intellect. At least I think they’re insulting me. Again, it’s hard to tell exactly what point they’re making or if they too, are suffering from tiny strokes.

I was going with another idea but I tweeted out the caption of this cartoon, just on a lark and without any intention of it being my cartoon. Then I started to like it and when I went to delete the post on Facebook it had over 30 likes and a bunch of comments, so I let it stay. People told me it should be my cartoon so, it’s my cartoon. I don’t like to reveal my idea before I draw it (a few of my colleagues show roughs before they publish their cartoons). I prefer the reader experience the writing, punch line, viewpoint, etc, in the cartoon for the first time when they’re reading it.

I also had two other ideas for different subjects when the Palin news broke. I had to go with a Palin/Trump cartoon.

Here’s my first idea, which I killed because it’s obvious. The New York Daily News used the same theme.

Speak American

Stop the presses. Sarah Palin said something stupid.

There’s a few fake news sites that attempt to be as funny and irreverent as The Onion, but they fail. They create fake stories of people like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Alan West, Donald Trump, etc, saying stuff really incredibly stupid…and totally believable. There’s two problems with this. The first is people believe the quotes are true and they share them on social media.

The quote “If dinosaur bones are millions of years old, then why are they so clean when they’re in museums?” does sound like something Michele Bachmann would say, but she didn’t. Another one people, especially liberals, fell for was “send immigrants back across ocean to Mexico”which was attributed to Sarah Palin. I know we want to believe these but do some research before you share and stop being so gullible. That’s the conservatives’ specialty.

The second problem is you don’t need to create quotes for these people.

So when news popped up Sunday that while defending Trump for bashing Jeb Bush for speaking Spanish, Palin said “when you’re here, let’s speak American.” I had to check to make sure it was true. She can’t be that stupid, can she? She can and she is. I actually watched the video which was painful because Palin has a difficult time completing a sentence. This is the same person who gave us “refudiate.” Maybe she should go back to writing crib notes on the palm of her hand. She could get someone else to do the writing as long as it’s not Bristol. How hard is it to write down “condoms?”

Sarah, the language the majority of United States citizens are speaking, and the one you’re attempting, is English. You should try it and set an example for all those immigrants who are annoying you. I didn’t realize there was such an epidemic of Spanish being spoken in Alaska.

While you’re researching about language, Mrs. Palin, you might also discover that America constitutes all of North and South America. Being American is not exclusive to those born within our borders. Hell, she might even be able to find this information in a book with pop-up pictures.

If nothing else, the above example illustrates that you don’t have to create stupid quotes for people like Sarah Palin. Be patient. She’ll contribute shortly. I know it’s difficult to speak coherently for a mouth breather, but she will come through.

During the same interview Palin said she would be interested in joining Donald Trump’s cabinet as Secretary of Energy and then destroy the department (isn’t that just like her to quit a job before the term is over?). She wants all decisions on energy in the hands of state governments. I just wonder how that will affect our nuclear weapons, nuclear power, and nuclear reactor production for the U.S. Navy, which is all handled by the Department of Energy. I also wonder if there’s a “Running The U.S. Department Of Energy For Dummies.”

I really hate cartoons using Native Americans and Pilgrims as an analogy on immigration because they’ve been done since we started talking about immigration. I think I’ve seen about 12 this month alone. But I thought it was kinda original here because the only real “American” languages are the ones that belong to Native Americans. That’s my excuse for using this old analogy.

Obamacare’s Here To Stay…Among Other Things

Yeah, I’m a jerk.

I had a couple of other ideas. I bounced them off some friends and while I didn’t get any “mehs”, I didn’t detect any enthusiasm. I try better than “meh.”

Here’s those two ideas.

I kinda liked this one…but just kinda. It didn’t make laugh.

The dog represents Republicans. I did laugh at this one but I was afraid I’d be the only one. That’s happened before. I’ll probably bring this idea back in the future with another topic. Neutering is funny…unless you’re the one being neutered.

Here’s the rough on the final idea.

Go Mavericky

In 2013 Sarah Palin joked about Obama’s frequent use of teleprompters with “Hey Mr. President, its time to step away from the teleprompter and do your job.” Of course she read that joke off a teleprompter.

A few days ago Palin gave a rambling incoherent speech that even made conservatives say “whaaaaaat?”. Her defense was that her teleprompter broke and that she “kept on goin’.” No doubt she did. Others are now saying the teleprompter was still scrolling so the dimwitgate might last longer than deflategate.

At any rate, her teleprompter broke? how can you tell?

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist