Go Tell It On The Mountain


cjones09032015

“Man, I love putting a lot of words in a cartoon” said no cartoonist ever. I take that back. I think those cartoonists who draw for alternative weeklies love putting more words into their cartoons instead of art. It’s their thing. The reason I’m not crazy about a lot of words in a cartoon is that it’s a lot of work that’s tedious. Plus, I think most people are lazy and stop reading when there’s too many words. I know I do. At least I didn’t draw a mountain and label it “debt” which I saw in two cartoons today or call it “Mt. Denial” which I saw in about 48 cartoons today.

Obama has officially renamed Mt. McKinley in Alaska Mt. Denali.

Republicans howled in protest faster than they could pull up Wikipedia to find out just who the Hell is William McKinley.

Here’s a brief history of the dispute:

Mt. Denali in Alaska is the highest mountain peak in North America. It’s taller than that pile of stuff coming from Donald Trump (the rest of the blog won’t rely on such a lame joke). It is the third most prominent peak in the world. For centuries the Koyukon Athabaskans who inhabit the area have referred to it as Denali. In 1896 a gold prospector named it McKinley. William McKinley was a presidential candidate at that time and eventually went on to become the 25th president of the United States. Eventually the federal government recognized it as McKinley. In 1975 the Alaskan state government changed it back to Denali, which is what everybody local called it anyway.

There have been bills in Congress to change it back to Denali but Republicans from Ohio have blocked it. How dare they change something back so historic.

Considering the age of mountains, a hundred years is a blip in time. There is nothing historic about that mountain and William McKinley. McKinley never climbed the mountain. He never saw the mountain. He never even visited the state of Alaska. But suddenly Republicans are running to the defense of William McKinley having his name on a mountain that maybe he heard of.

McKinley wasn’t a bad guy. He was president during the Spanish American War. He made Teddy Roosevelt his V.P. He was assassinated and not by a Koyukon Athabaskan. I’m sure there’s all sorts of things in Ohio, where he’s from, that can be named after him. I’m just John Boehner would love spending hours laying in the William McKinley Tanning Bed (I lied about no more lame jokes). I just don’t see why people are upset that someone removed his name from a mountain in Alaska.

With the Republicans fake outrage over this, you would think it was Obama who changed the name…oh yeah right.

Republicans are fun with names. Currently they’re on a mission naming things after Ronald Reagan. There’s actually an organization whose existence is based on naming stuff after Ronald Reagan. In fact, their mission is have at least one notable landmark in each state and all 3067 counties named after Reagan. The organization is called The Ronald Reagan Legacy Project.

There are schools, roads, parks, buildings, etc. named after Reagan. I dated a girl once who had a daughter later (way after dating me) and guess what she named her. Yup. Reagan! I know a very conservative racist-homphobic-sexist artist and guess his wife’s name. Yup again. Regan! Did he Craigslist that shit?

There’s an aircraft carrier named after Reagan. The airport in Washington used to be the Washington National Airport. Now it’s the Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. That one is kind of a stick in the eye to aircraft workers since Reagan once laid off the nation’s flight controllers. Congress changed the name of the metro station at the airport to Reagan and the metro board fought it until Republicans threatened to withhold funding. Nice. They even want that funding, as in currency, to bear Reagan’s likeness.

Now they want to name the Pentagon after Reagan. There’s a movement to name the International Space Station after Reagan. It’s like they don’t understand the word “international.”

If only there was a mountain named after Reagan…oh wait.

Mt. Reagan is in New Hampshire except it’s not officially Mt. Reagan. The state legislature named it after Reagan in 2003 but the U.S. Board On Geographic Names (which has not been renamed after Reagan…yet) still lists it as Mt. Clay.

Mt. Clay. I think they should stick with that.

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