John Bolton

Classified Lies

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You can’t say Donald Trump isn’t qualified for the presidency because a lot of people wrote books about how awful he is. Every president has had that. But no president has been criticized as much or as harshly as Donald Trump has been by people who worked for him.

While Donald Trump can call them all sorts of names and question their credibility, they’re his people. The guy who promised he’d hire the best people chose them. These are not Democrats.

You might look at Omarosa and think, “Yeah, she’s nuts” But what do you think when Anthony Scaramucci goes after him? What about Rex Tillerson, who called him a “fucking moron?” How about the generals, James Mattis and John Kelly? Are they all wrong?

Now, John Bolton’s book is about to hit the shelves and the media has already read it. The Trump administration has attempted to block it in court by claiming it’s full of classified information…that are lies. If John Bolton is lying, then why do you want it classified? Does that make sense? In case you’re a Republican, it does not.

John Bolton is not perfect. He’s their guy. He is a war hawk who should have voluntarily testified during the impeachment. Instead, he wanted all his juicy bombshells saved for his book so he’d have a nice payday.

Yes, it’s a patriotic thing exposing Donald Trump and the dangers he presents to this nation. No, it’s not patriotic to hang onto the information so you can profit.

The one big takeaway from the book that is not new is Donald Trump isn’t qualified to be president and he’s a terrible person only focused on himself. He loves dictators. He lies. He doesn’t know anything. He’s extremely stupid. That’s all in the book and none of it’s a surprise. What is new are the details. Some of them show he’s dumber than we thought…and more dangerous.

In the book, Bolton claims Donald Trump “pleaded” with Xi Jinping, the Chinese president, to buy more American farm products to help his chances of reelection. You could think that’s a lie except we have him on record asking other nations to help his reelection. This also exposes that Donald Trump doesn’t care about farmers. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump.

The book shows he’s stupid. He asked if Finland was a part of Russia. Spoiler alert for Republicans: It’s not. He was also surprised the United Kingdom is a nuclear power. In case you’re a Republican, it is. Could these be lies? Donald Trump has already revealed how little he knows about…stuff. He doesn’t understand the differences between the United Kingdon, Britain, and England. He’s opened his mouth and proven that.

Bolton claims Trump was eager to intervene in Justice Department investigations to help foreign corporations in dictator-led nations like Turkey. Bolton said for Trump, “obstruction of justice was a way of life.”

President Xi told Donald Trump he’d owe him a “favor,” (there’s that word again) if he could lighten penalties and sanctions against a Chinese company. It worked, the penalties were lightened and a ban on buying American products for the company was lifted.

The book is more proof Donald Trump is stupidly dangerous. And you know, I’m not a fan of Bolton. He did the unpatriotic thing by refusing to testify unless subpoenaed. But if you’re still supporting Donald Trump despite all this evidence of how bad he is for the nation, then you’re less of a patriot than John Bolton.

There are two truths here: John Bolton knows a lot more about government, diplomacy, and foreign relations than Donald Trump. We may not like Bolton’s positions as he wants to invade everyone, but he knows his shit. Donald Trump doesn’t know anything except how to get pornstars to sign non-disclosure agreements and how to bankrupt casinos.

The other truth is, John Bolton is not known to be a liar. Sure, his judgment sucks. He did work for Fox News and George W. Bush. But he’s not a liar, at least not on any public record I’ve seen. On the other hand, Donald Trump is a huge liar. All Donald Trump does is lie. So when Trump says we can’t trust Bolton…yeah.

There’s another book on the way I’m sure will be presidential (sic) tweet-worthy. Donald Trump’s niece, Mary is writing a book on what a horrible person her uncle is. But I’m more excited about a potential book by Rex Tillerson.

I would gladly pay $25 for a book on Donald Trump titled, “Fucking Moron.”

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A Credible Fox

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The new argument on Fox News is that Donald Trump’s former national security adviser, John Bolton can’t be trusted because he’s trying to sell a book.

A leak emerged from the White House that in a draft of Bolton’s upcoming book, Donald Trump told him firsthand that he was withholding military aid from Ukraine until they announced an investigation into the Bidens. The leak of the manuscript is interesting because it probably came from someone who works for Donald Trump and hates him. And honestly, no president has feuded with as many former staffers as Donald Trump has.

Yes, John Bolton wants to sell books. Here’s a fun fact: Everyone who has ever published a book wants to sell books. Here’s another fun fact: All those Fox News fucknuts arguing that you can’t trust John Bolton because he wants to sell books…have all written books!

Here’s the thing, kids. Regarding testifying, it doesn’t matter if Bolton has credibility. You ask that question after he testifies. You weigh his credibility along with his testimony. It doesn’t matter if John Bolton is a drug-dealing pimp. If he’s a witness, you let him testify. And, even if he was a drug-dealing pimp, he’d still have more credibility than Donald Trump.

But, I have questions for Fox News. If John Bolton isn’t credible, then why didn’t you point that out when he was advocating invading Iraq? Why didn’t you ask that when George W. Bush made him ambassador to the United Nations? Why didn’t you ask that when Donald Trump hired him to be his national security adviser? Or better yet, why didn’t you ask that question when YOU, Fox News, hired him as one of your conservative gaslighting experts? And, you could have asked that question at any point during the eleven freaking years he worked for you.

But then again, if you’re arguing he doesn’t have credibility and is a liar because he worked for Fox News, you might have a point.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Impeach The Galoot

cjones02012020

Late Sunday night, The New York Times reported that President (sic) Donald Trump told his national security adviser last August that he wanted to freeze nearly $400 million in military aid to Ukraine until that government agreed to investigate Democrats, including the Bidens. These are details leaked from John Bolton’s upcoming book titled, How I Survived Working For a Racist, Narcissistic Idiot.” No, that’s not the title. It was too long.

Democrats have been wanting former national security adviser Bolton to testify about what he knows, what the president knows and when did he know it. Republicans have been resisting. Funny thing, Republicans have accused Democrats of rushing the impeachment while Senate Majority Leader says he doesn’t want witnesses as that’ll prolong the Senate trial. But not being consistent is par for the course for Republicans.

These idiots trotted out Ken Starr to argue against the “age of impeachment,” Pam Bondi to argue against nepotism and corruption, and Alan Dershowitz to argue against every position he’s held previously. The rest of Trump’s legal goons argued that Democrats were mean and we shouldn’t trust liars. Seriously. How can you argue that Trump didn’t do anything wrong while resisting testimony from people who witnessed him doing nothing wrong?

A draft of the book was submitted to the White House on December 30 for a review before publishing, which is standard for current and former officials. The White House is the main culprit as the leaker of the book or someone inside who doesn’t like Trump, which means it could be anyone.

Mitch McConnell told his Republican colleagues not to panic over the details and to “take a deep breath,” which is usually not recommended to people with their heads up their own asses. We also learned that the White House has been sitting on the draft without EVER informing Republicans in the Senate. I guess Trump never heard the expression “help me help you.”

According to the book, Trump withheld taxpayer money to Ukraine contingent on them doing him a personal favor. And, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo acknowledged to Bolton there was no basis to claims by Trump’s personal goon, Rudy Giuliani that our ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch was corrupt, and believed Rudy may have been acting on behalf of his other clients. It also links other officials to the corruption, including Attorney General William Barr and Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney.

The main thing this does, for now, is put pressure on Senate Republicans to vote for witnesses. Rushing the trial without them will now look like they’re engaging in the coverup, which they are but they don’t want that appearance.

Donald Trump tweeted that Bolton was lying to sell books. If anything, Bolton has been resisting testifying or even doing media interviews so he can hang onto his information to sell books. Hey, wanna find out how corrupt Trump is? Pay John Bolton $24.95 (or however much those books go for).

A Facebook friend of mine who’s a real pro-Trump troglodyte posted that John Bolton was lying. He didn’t base it on anything except that it must be a lie…because Trump is so honest. Remember when Donald Trump didn’t know about hush payments to porn stars and Playmates? Remember when Donald Trump didn’t know Lev Parnas? Donald Trump was found to be the liar in a he said/she said with Omarosa. It doesn’t matter whose word it is against Donald Trump’s, always bet against Trump. This is a guy who has told over 16,000 lies since he became president.

As revenge against Bolton, the White House could use the pre-publication review process, which has no set time frame, to delay or even kill the book’s publication or omit key passages. Though, like it is with executive privilege, it’ll be hard to argue for conversations to be omitted that Donald Trump himself has talked about. But delaying or killing the book will only happen if Trump is a vengeful person.

The one good thing Trump has going for him is that his cult will never discover the corrupt details Bolton’s revealing about him…because they’re in a book.

Testifying before the Senate, if it comes to that, may hurt Bolton’s book just as much as a delay in publishing. After eight hours on the stand, there may not be any bombshells left to tell. What sort of pomade does that mustache require anyway? I got nothing.

There are a few things I’m sure are in the book that we already know, like Donald Trump is a national security risk, is guilty, and should be removed from office as soon as possible.

I would be more than happy to witness the orange galoot’s eviction.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Trump’s Starr Defense

cjones01222020

Upon hearing that Ken Starr, who probably still has files on Bill Clinton’s sex life underneath his mattress, has been appointed by Donald Trump to serve on his legal defense team for his impeachment trial next week before the United States Senate, Monica Lewinsky tweeted, “This is definitely an ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ kinda day.”

Ken Starr was the Independent Counsel who expanded an investigation into a bad land deal into President Bill Clinton’s sex life. He filed the Starr Report with a Republican Congress alleging that Clinton lied during a sworn deposition about an affair with Lewinsky which led to Congress impeaching Clinton, and ultimately a Senate trial where he was acquitted.

So yeah. Ken Starr being part of a defense that the most lying president in the history of the United States shouldn’t be impeached, years after filing a report that lying about a blowjob is, is an “are you fucking kidding me” kinda day. Ken Starr, who believed Bill Clinton should be impeached for one lie, is going to defend the guy who’s told over 15,000. For Ken Starr, using taxpayer money to extort a foreign nation and ask them to investigate a political opponent and help his reelection campaign isn’t that bad, but Oval Office B-Jays are naughty.

Ken Starr has a thing about sex. Basically, it’s bad when Democrats do it. Remember, he inherited the investigation into a bad land deal and then went to see what was in Clinton’s pants and what he had been doing with it. It must have been impressive because Ken Starr spent four years looking at it. Ken Starr spent tens of millions more on his land deal/blowjob investigation than Robert Mueller ever dreamed of, even with it being 1990s dollars.

When Ken Starr was President of Baylor University, he was forced to resign after covering up a sex scandal involving the school’s football team.

As Independent Counsel, Starr was so keen on impeaching Bill Clinton that he expanded the investigation from a bad land deal into Clinton firing employees in the White House travel office, abuse of confidential FBI files, the Clintons’ involvement with the Rose Law Firm and Madison Guaranty, Vince Foster’s suicide, Paula Jones’ lawsuit against Clinton, and finally, Clinton’s Oval Office fiddling with Monica Lewinsky. It’s a good thing Bill Clinton never wore a tan suit or put mustard on a cheeseburger.

A lot of people weren’t impressed with Ken Starr. One guy said he was “off his rocker, a “lunatic,” a “disaster,” and a “total wacko.” But Starr’s hypocrisy won’t be the only one on display since the guy who made those comments was Donald Trump.

One thing that’s been proven by Trump adding Starr to his legal defense team is that Bill Clinton’s impeachment 20 years ago was nothing but partisan bullshit.

The greatest irony in all of this is that Ken Starr filed a report about Bill Clinton lying under oath, and will now present a legal defense before a bunch of Senators who just did the same.

The 90s are back and they’re giving us Ken Starr, Alan Dershowitz, and Mambo No. 5.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Imminent Attack

cjones01092020

John Bolton, Trump’s former National Security Adviser, now says he’ll testify during Trump’s impeachment trial if the Senate subpoenas him. Keep in mind, the Senate is controlled by Republicans who don’t want anything that even slightly resembles a fair trial.

And what would happen if the Senate did send Bolton a subpoena? Bolton was in the room and is a direct witness of Donald Trump withholding military aid from Ukraine until they promised to investigate Hunter Biden and jump on board with the conspiracy theory that they, and not Russia, meddled in the 2016 presidential election. According to witnesses, in response to the corruption engaged by Trump’s personal goon, Rudy Giuliani, which involved Ambassador to the European Union, Gordon Sondland, Bolton said he didn’t want any part of this “drug deal.”

Will Trump order Bolton not to testify on a claim of executive privilege? It’s not like the Republican-controlled Senate would fight that in court. Would Bolton defy that order. Would the Senate still allow him to testify against a presidential order? All this is mere speculation because Mitch McConnell isn’t going to allow Bolton to testify because he doesn’t want to hear the truth or testimony that implicates Donald Trump. The Senate Republicans would rather enable Donald Trump’s corruption, and like Congressman Devin Nunes, participate in it with him.

But then again, maybe Donald Trump will just cut to the chase, consider Bolton’s offer an attack, not just on him but on the nation, and order him to be taken out.

Donald Trump considers attacks on him attacks against America. His administration has yet to define the “imminent attack” they claim the Iranian general was coordinating. If anything, they’ve only described the general’s past actions. Some of his past actions include posting mean memes about Donald Trump on Instagram.

This morning, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo scrambled to explain the justification for the assassination and called Iran liars engaged in propaganda. He did that while engaging in propaganda for Donald Trump with a straight face. I wonder if Trump’s people are aware of the hypocrisy or are they really that obtuse. Take Kellyanne Conway for example. She said Trump shouldn’t have to inform Adam Schiff of an impending act of war because he can’t be trusted. Seriously.

Even with Trump’s promise to hit “cultural sites” in Iran, Pompeo isn’t being clear or logical. He’s arguing that our nation will comply with international law, would never hit cultural sites and that Donald Trump is only talking tough with Iran because he has to. Pompeo is arguing that we shouldn’t listen the President (sic) of the United States because he’s lying.  Is Pompeo aware this is his argument or is he that obtuse? In case you’re a Republican, “obtuse” means being insensitive and slow to understand. And, in case you are a Republican, you didn’t understand that last sentence.

I think John Bolton should book a room indefinitely at the Washington Trump Hotel (or as yesterday’s cartoon pointed out, McDonald’s) so Donald Trump doesn’t fire any rockets at him. And just to be safe, maybe Mark Bolton should book a room there as well.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Yippee Ki-Yay Rudy

cjones10172019

Nobody liked the idea of John Bolton as Trump’s national security adviser. Bolton, a longtime war hawk who has publicly endorsed starting a war with every nation hostile to the United States, was now in an influential position close to a president who could be influenced by the slightest flattery. “Wow! That was some insightful tweeting today at Kristen Stewart’s expense today, you stable genius you.” The next thing you know, we got a Bay of Pigs do-over.

What probably prevented Bolton, who still believes invading Iraq was a fantastic idea, from effectively advancing his own agenda is that half the world’s tyrants he wants to bomb are tyrants Donald Trump idolizes and claims he receives “beautiful” letters from. During Bolton’s tenure, Trump said, “I actually temper John.” After Bolton resigned and Trump claimed he was fired, he said Bolton was “holding me back.” Yikes.

While intelligent people who aren’t in a rush to bomb half the planet were glad Bolton was gone, nobody liked the way it went down. While John Bolton is eager to start needless wars with our nation’s enemies, at least he is able to identify our enemies.

Now, it’s come to light that John Bolton was the voice of reason in the Trump administration.

Former White House aide Fiona Hill testified before three House committees that John Bolton objected to the campaign pressuring Ukraine to dig up dirt on Trump’s political opponents. Bolton is not a liberal or friend to Democrats and has propped up his own conspiracy theories in the past. But even he saw this for the shitshow that it is.

According to Hill and two other witnesses, Bolton got into a heated exchange last July with European Union ambassador Gordon Sondland about the campaign to withhold aid to Ukraine unless they began an investigation into Hunter Biden, the son of Democratic candidate and former vice-president Joe Biden.

Hill testified that Bolton told her to notify the chief lawyer for the National Security Council about a rogue effort by Sondland, Rudy Giuliani and Mick Mulvaney, the acting White House chief of staff. He told Hill to tell the lawyer, “I am not part of whatever drug deal they’re cooking up.” In case you’re a Republican, “drug deal” is a metaphor.

On another date, Bolton told Hill, “Giuliani’s a hand grenade who’s going to blow everybody up.” That’s pretty much what’s happening now. It’s blowing up. And again for our Republican friends, “hand grenade” is a metaphor. There weren’t any real hand grenades.

Hill also testified that Sondland told her he was in charge of Ukraine and was given the task by Donald Trump. What’s very interesting here is that Sondland is ambassador to the European Union. In case you’re a Republican, Ukraine is NOT in the European Union.

Just how much of a hand grenade do you have to be for John Bolton to think you’re a hand grenade?

There are more hearings scheduled for this week. Coming up is George Kent, deputy assistant secretary of state for Europe and Eurasia, Gordon Sondlond (who will either engage in coverup and obstruction, come clean to save his own ass, or refuse to show up), and Counselor of the United States Department of State T. Ulrich Brechbuhl (who’s close to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo).

The House has also subpoenaed documents from Sondland, Giuliani and his two goons who were arrested last week, Mulvaney, Secretary of Energy Rick Perry, Mike Pence, acting Director of the Office of Management and Budget Russell Vought, and Pentagon officials (to explain the delay in providing aid to Ukraine).

This is stupid Watergate, but instead of following the money, we need to follow the goons. Imagine what we’ll know by tomorrow.

What I know right now is Donald Trump is a criminal and he should be impeached. Any administration where John Bolton is the reasonable one needs to be tossed out.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Riding With Bolton

cjones09182019

John Bolton has advocated regime change in North Korea, Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, Iraq, Syria, and Libya. The only fascist government he hasn’t advocated regime change for is Donald Trump’s. But that might change.

John Bolton is a war hawk neocon who was a huge supporter of the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Today, he’s unapologetic about invading the wrong country. He’s not a big fan of Russia or North Korea and despite this, Donald Trump hired him to be his third National Security Adviser. The only thing that made Trump hesitate in hiring Bolton was his mustache. As a child, Trump had nightmares of being attacked by Captain Crunch.

It’s been speculated that Bolton did a crummy job as National Security Adviser. According to some sources, instead of collecting as much intel and expert viewpoints within the government to present to Trump, he only brought his opinions. He disagreed with Trump on his policies with Iran, Russia, and North Korea. Trump has made statements that Bolton is a hawk and wanted to invade everybody all at once. Trump even claimed that he “tempered” Bolton’s hawkish instincts. None of this is why Bolton is leaving the White House.

White House sources say Trump and Bolton had a huge argument Monday night over inviting the Taliban to Camp David on the week of 9/11. Bolton claims he offered his resignation that night and Trump said they should talk about it Tuesday morning. On Tuesday, Trump tweeted that he fired Bolton. Bolton later contradicted Trump. Say what you will about Bolton’s hawkish viewpoints, but between him and Trump, he’s not the one with a reputation of being a liar.

It was soon leaked out of the White House that Trump wanted Bolton gone because he believes Bolton leaks out of the White House. After Trump tweeted to the world about the Taliban invite, it was reported that Vice-President Mike Pence disagreed. Later, Pence said he never disagreed with Trump over inviting the Taliban to Camp David. Pence is really showing the extent of his sycophancy when he wants everyone to know he liked the idea of having the Taliban over for dinner. However, Bolton has been accused of being the one who leaked to the press that Pence hated the idea.

In less than three years, Donald Trump has gone through three National Security Advisers. Soon, he’ll have more of them than he’s had wives. No other president has had four national security advisers in their first three years in office. If you include “acting,” Trump has had five. President Obama had three during his entire eight years in office (George W. Bush had two, Bill Clinton had two, and Ronald Reagan had six). No president has ever had one serve as short a time as just 24 days (Michael Flynn).

While it was known Bolton was on thin ice in Trump’s White House, his departure came suddenly. Bolton led a meeting with national security principals in the Situation Room Tuesday morning. At 11 a.m. The White House scheduled a 1:30 p.m. briefing that was to include Bolton along with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Treasury Secretary Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin on terrorism (why is the Treasury Secretary an administration player on foreign policy? Is it because he bankrolled The Lego Batman Movie?). Bolton’s departure was announced before the briefing where Pompeo and Mnuchin grinned like crackheads on free crack day. It was well known that Pompeo and Bolton didn’t like each other. It’s also well known that nobody really likes John Bolton.

The big thing that really put Bolton on the outs with Trump is that he didn’t subordinate his views to match Trump’s. People like Pompeo, Pence, and the entire Republican Party are on record of changing their views to fit whatever the hell it is today that Trump believes in, like Nazis are good people, incarcerating brown babies, and inviting the Taliban to Camp David on 9/11 week. Bolton didn’t do that. Bolton was even accused of refusing to appear on two Sunday talk shows during the G7 summit because he didn’t want to defend Trump’s position on Russia. When Trump went skipping with Kim Jong Un over the North Korean border, Bolton was in Mongolia.

Now, Bolton is in political Mongolia and he’s never coming back. We will never see Bolton in government service ever again and that’s a good thing. While Fox News is trying to paint the guy as a liberal, and others will soon say Democrats now like him, the fact of the matter is, John Bolton is dangerous. Even if Trump didn’t listen to him, having a war hawk that extreme anywhere near the Oval Office is dangerous to the nation, especially with a stupid and easily-duped president such as Donald Trump. People like Pompeo had to constantly battle for their viewpoints to win Trump over the positions of Bolton. As Stephen Colbert said, “I have never been more grateful for the president’s pettiness and stupidity because today, he was stupidly petty enough to save us from a very smart warmonger.” Of course, the downside of Bolton leaving is that now we’ll probably help North Korea build a nuclear weapon and we’ll see Putin at the next G7 summit.

Donald Trump told us during the campaign that he’d only hire the best. Let’s hope for his next National Security Adviser, he can find the very best out of those willing to shed all ethics and dignity to work for Donald Trump.

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As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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A Sinking Argument

cjones06182019

In 1898, the USS Maine was sunk in Havana Harbor (if you’re a conservative, Havana is in Cuba). It was sunk in February of that year. By April, we were at war with Spain. At that time, Spain was a world power whose strength was dwindling. But, they still held territories from their days of conquest. When the war was over, Spanish Empire was no more and the United States was a world power taking possession of Cuba, Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Philippines. The war only lasted ten weeks and none of the fighting was in the U.S. or Spain.

The sinking of the Maine was a contributing factor for the U.S. to go to war with Spain. The public wasn’t enthusiastic about war until the Maine was sunk. Newspapers at the time, operating with less journalistic integrity than they do now, published on front pages the rallying cry, “Remember the Maine! To Hell with Spain!” And to this day, we don’t know what sunk the ship. But quite frankly, wouldn’t Spain had rather sunk a ship that didn’t rhyme with “Spain?”

There has never been any proof the Spaniards sunk The Maine. In 1974, a U.S. naval investigation agreed with the theory that the sinking happened because the ship’s magazines had been ignited by a spontaneous fire in a coal bunker. Spain never even got a “my bad.”

In 1915 during World War I (which nobody was calling “World War I” at the time), the ocean liner Lusitania was sunk by Germany off the coast of Ireland. Germany was waging submarine warfare against the United Kingdom which had initiated a naval blockade of Germany. Propaganda was spread by both sides, but the tide of public opinion internationally went against Germany, which was easy because they’re German. While the ship was carrying civilian passengers, including many Americans, Germany argued that it was also carrying ammunition for the war. The sinking helped instigate America’s entry into World War I (in case you’re a Trump cultist, we entered on the side of the British, not the Germans), which before had been very unpopular in the U.S. Most Americans couldn’t see how the fight in Europe was any business of the United States. Most historians still can’t find any genuine reason for the U.S. to have been in World War I.

The UK denied that the ship carried ammunition but decades later, issued a warning to divers stating the equivalent of, “hey, be careful. There are ammunitions down there.”

In 1964, the U.S. Navy and North Vietnamese Navy had one or two skirmishes in the Gulf of Tonkin. One or two? Yes, because to this day, we’re not sure. But whatever happened in the Gulf led the U.S. to become way more involved in the Vietnam War.

Three North Vietnamese torpedo boats attacked the destroyer, USS Maddox. Four North Vietnamese sailors were killed, six wounded, with damages to each torpedo boat. One American aircraft was damaged and a single bullet hole was discovered in the ship. The U.S. later claimed there was a second attack but the only evidence found have been ghost radar images. The U.S. Navy described ghost images as a naval battle.

What happened next was Congress giving President Lyndon Johnson authority to assist any Southeast Asian nation who was being threatened by communist aggression. Lyndon later used this to justify escalating the war. Full details of the Tonkin incident were kept from the public and later, many involved claimed the Maddox was used to instigate North Vietnam to attack it in order to justify the U.S. going to war.

In 2003, the U.S. led an international coalition in an invasion of Iraq based on the lie that they had weapons of mass destruction and a nuclear program. In case you’re a Republican, No. They did not have weapons of mass destruction and their nuclear program was about as advanced as my microwave oven. I have to state that because people like John Bolton, our current National Security Adviser, still argues the case for invading Iraq.

There were also lies that Iraq was involved in 9/11 with a majority of Americans holding that belief. What was ignored by American politicians and the public was that Iraq never attacked the United States.

Ultimately, over 4,000 American soldiers were killed with an estimated 100,000 plus Iraqi civilian deaths. We overthrew Saddam Hussein and Iraq became a “democracy.” Iraq also became a nation full of insurgents. And even though the Iraqi Army was demolished, the government destroyed, and George W. Bush declaring “mission accomplished,” the war continued for nearly nine years. We created a power vacuum in Iraq and created ISIS. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney made a terrorist rock star out of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

Are you ready to do it again?

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Face-Melting Diplomacy

cjones05312019

National security adviser John Bolton is a war hawk. Even though he personally refused to fight in Vietnam and admitted he joined the Maryland National Guard to avoid fighting, he’s advocated for sending American troops to die in Iraq, Iran, Syria, Cuba, Yemen, Venezuela, and North Korea. Like most Republican war hawks, he thinks it’s a great idea for other people to fight wars as long as he doesn’t have to.  So, it pains me that I have to actually agree with John Bolton on something. North Korea violated UN Sanctions when it fired off several ballistic missiles in early May.

In 2006, while Bolton was U.S. ambassador to the UN, sanctions were levied upon North Korea stating that the DPRK “not conduct any further nuclear test or launch of a ballistic missile.” These sanctions were expanded in 2009. While the missiles they tested this month were short-range, they were ballistic missiles.

Shortly after the test, the American president, ugh, Donald Trump told Politico, “these were short-range missiles and very standard stuff. Very standard.” The American president was defending a dictator’s violation of a United Nations resolution. But hey, defending tyrants and Nazis for Trump is “very standard stuff.”

Last weekend between golf, eating burnt steak with ketchup, and watching obese men grapple in diapers, Trump furthered his defense of the North Korean tyrant in a tweet stating, “North Korea fired off some small weapons, which disturbed some of my people, and others, but not me.” He expressed confidence that Kim Jong Un will keep his “promise” to him to denuclearize, even though there’s no commitment on paper.

But, why should Kim denuclearize when Trump is giving him a pass? Trump earlier stated he wouldn’t tolerate any more missile tests because it was he who got Kim to stop firing missiles. Now that Kim has fired off some missiles, Trump is backtracking on principles faster than Mitch McConnell. Trump was much more interested in Kim’s insults toward his most feared political rival, Joe Biden.

What Trump is teaching dictators is that if they pander to his ego and narcissism, throw him an occasional parade, give him a sword dance, put his face on outside jumbotrons, mimic his talking points, and attack his political opponents, then they can do whatever they want, from attacking our elections, murdering journalists, to firing ballistic missiles in violations of UN sanctions.

Bolton is correct that North Korea violated a UN sanction. Trump is ignoring his national security adviser and American intelligence by demonstrating he doesn’t possess any intelligence of his own.

Trump criticized former American presidents for accepting promises from Kim and later allowing him to break them. Now, when Kim breaks his promises to him, Trump denies it’s happening. His ego and narcissism is a threat to the lives of Americans and our allies.

When his cultists’ faces are melting from a nuclear blast, will they finally accept that Trump is a disaster?

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Come At Me Bro

cjones03252018

The stupidity of Donald Trump seems to increase throughout the day, so when he starts the morning by tweeting he’ll beat up Joe Biden, “fast and hard, and crying all the way,” you know we’re in for layers on top of layers of idiocy…and maybe in trouble.

Biden made comments that if they were in high school, he’d beat the hell out of Trump for disrespecting women. Biden’s actual quote was, “If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.”

Trump claims Biden threatened him with physical assault. I find it scary that the president, who is faced with life and nation-altering decisions on a daily basis, can’t comprehend a simple sentence. What Biden said was not a threat. Also, being a bully, Trump missed the part where Biden’s comments were about the way he treats women. Trump didn’t have an issue with that part.

Someone that stupid is stupid enough to slam China with $60 billion worth of tariffs, thus making the stock market plunge by more than 700 points. He accomplished that feat shortly after lunch.

While announcing the tariffs, he brought along the CEO of Lockheed-Martin, who is in favor of the policy. Trump introduced Marillyn Hewson as “Maryllyn LOCKHEED.” Why did he do that? Because he can’t read the notes (DO NOT APOLOGIZE) and he’s stupid. Ms. Hewson is lucky she got out of there without an orange groping.

Later, Trump’s lead attorney, John Dowd, defending him in the Russia Investigation quit, or he resigned, or was fired. We’re not sure. At any rate, he’s out of there, probably skipping all the way. Trump wasn’t done firing for the day as he let go National Security Adviser General H.R. McMaster in favor of Captain Mustache John Bolton.

Days ago, Trump and Sarah Huckabee Sanders both said there would not be any changes to Trump’s legal team and that H.R. McMaster wasn’t going anywhere. “Heckuva job, Brownie” continues to be the kiss of death in Republican administrations.

Hiring John Bolton to head the National Security Council is stupid. Trump once said we can’t trust anyone involved in the decision to invade Iraq, and then he hires a guy in on the decision to invade Iraq.

Bolton was previously George W. Bush’s Ambassador to the United Nations for just a few months, despite once commenting, “If the U.N. Secretariat building in New York lost 10 stories, it wouldn’t make a lot of difference.” He was installed with a recess appointment and then resigned when the Senate returned because there wasn’t a chance in Hell he would be confirmed. Even Republicans don’t like the guy and find him too far to the right. But, he’s on Fox News and Trump loves that.

Bolton recently wrote a column for The Wall Street Journal advocating bombing North Korea. He’s also advocated military action against Iran and Cuba.

Fred Kaplan, writing for Slate, said that installing Bolton puts us on a path to war. War with whom? That’s anyone’s guess since this is Bolton and dammit, he wants us to bomb somebody. Kaplan writes, “it’s time to push the panic button.” He’s right.

The National Security Adviser’s job is to assemble the cabinet secretaries, debate options for military and foreign policy and presenting every choice and option to the president. Bolton is not a guy who tolerates opinions that differ from his. While he was under secretary of state he tried to fire two intelligence analysts who challenged his view (that was wrong) that Cuba was developing biological weapons and supplying them to rogue regimes. He also tried to prevent any information from being presented that disagreed with the findings of Iraq having chemical weapons, or that even said investigations were incomplete on the subject.

Of course, Bolton doesn’t have any actual experience with war as he dodged the Vietnam draft by joining the National Guard. I don’t begrudge anyone who joined the Guard to avoid the draft. But I do have an issue with assholes who want us to go to war as soon as they’re too old to be called to fight.

Trump once made a comment about what’s the use of having nuclear weapons if we don’t use them. Bolton, who will now have an office very close to Trump’s, will now be in his ear every day saying “what’s the use of having nuclear weapons if we don’t use them?”

It’s time to panic.

Creative notes: If you don’t get this cartoon, then you don’t watch enough TV. I had the concept for Trump with the “come at me bro” shirt before the news hit about Bolton being hired. That actually helped me write the cartoon. To be honest, I really wanted to use the phrase “come at me bro” bad enough to risk drawing something that won’t make sense to a lot of people. But, it made me laugh. Besides, I can’t recall the last time I’ve drawn a manatee, if ever.

Video.

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