Florida Sycophants

This happened over a week ago and the issue may be dead for now, but I think the goons behind it shouldn’t be allowed to slink off into the night without being called out.

Republican sycophants know that the way to impress Trump or win his favor is to give him money. Trump is a grifter and Republicans know it and they don’t have a problem with it. Trump is very easy to see through and even foreign diplomats knew one way to win his favor was to stay at Trump hotels. When Trump’s corrupt EPA administrator, Scott Pruitt needed a new bed, he tried to purchase a used mattress from the Washington Trump Hotel instead of purchasing it from a store that’s actually in the business of selling new mattresses. How many brownie points would he have won by buying one of Trump’s used bed-bug-infested pissy mattresses?

When Trump owned the hotel in Washington, Republicans, lobbyists, Nazis, Klansmen, and PACS spent millions on rooms and events. The bar in the hotel is where Rudy did most of his sleazy scheming and farting. Attorney General William Barr spent over $30,000 to host a party at the hotel. They all said it was out of convenience. But after Trump sold the hotel, all that business dropped off.

Trump violated the Emoluments Clause during his presidency (sic) and spent millions of taxpayer money on his vacations and golf trips. He even tried to host an international summit at one of his golf resorts in Miami. They weren’t even trying to hide the corruption. Republicans never held Trump accountable for using the presidency to grift taxpayers. And now, since he can’t grift taxpayers as much as he used to (he still can a little), some Republicans are trying to do it for him.

New reporting from the Department of You Can’t Make this Shit Up in coordination with the Society of You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me in tandem with the Organization of Get The Fuck Out of Here with additional counsel from the Club of Fuck You, You Fucking Kool-Aid-Swilling Grifting Culists, Republicans in the Florida state legislature tried to make state taxpayers pay for Donald Trump’s legal bills. Everybody’s picking on the poor widdle billionaire.

The state’s chief financial officer and a member of the governor’s cabinet, Jimmy Patronis, promoted a bill to create a “Freedom Fighters Fund.” This fund would provide up to $5 million of taxpayer money to give, notice the quotation marks here, “financial support to Florida residents running for President who face legal, partisan, political attacks by the Department of Justice or State Attorneys.”

This was brought up right after Ron DeSantis dropped out of the race and endorsed Trump. But who else from Florida is running for president? Oh, yeah. Trump. And who makes the call that criminal charges against that Florida resident running for president are partisan and political attacks? Maybe the Floridian running for president gets to make that determination. This is like whining about Trump facing consequences for sexual assault after he proudly boasted that he can “grab them by the pussy.” That reminds me. Fuck you, Billy Bush.

If you don’t want your favorite orange-coated presidential candidate to face four indictments that include 91 criminal charges, tell that candidate what Jim Carrey told one of his in the film Liar Liar, “Stop breaking the law, asshole.”

The charges against Trump are not political or partisan. Notice that it’s only partisans who make this claim without evidence. How are charges against a guy who tried to steal an election, remain in power after losing, told election officials to create votes for him, ordered a white nationalist insurrection and coup attempt, stole classified documents, and obstructed justice partisan and political? Did I leave anything out?

If I lived in Florida, I would tell these cultist assholes that if they want to help Trump fight off legal challenges that he incurred upon himself by his own criminal behavior, then they are more than free to be gullible morons and give him their money, but they better not give him mine.

Right now, Trump’s supporters are paying his lawyers. When you give money to Trump to run for president, he uses it to pay for his legal defense. And I thought it was bad enough when he took supporters’ money and used it to hold events at his resorts, which put the money into his pockets.

It takes some serious stupidity to pay the legal bills for a guy who owns golden toilets and private jets when he intentionally breaks the law. You have to be a moron to give your money to a grifter who ran a fake university. You have to be an idiot of the highest caliber to give your hard-earned dollars to a lowlife who ran a fake children’s charity and stole from it. Just how fucking dumb do you have to be to give your cash to a failure who bankrupted casinos? Just how far is your brown nose up Trump’s ass to give him money after he turned a $5 million fine into an $83.3 million fine? You’re better off giving your money to the Nigerian Prince next time he emails.

Ron DeSantis has vowed to veto this plan for the state to pay Trump’s legal bills, but let’s not praise BootsMcPuddingFingers for making the right call here as it’s probably only from personal grievance. Sure, he endorsed Trump, but has really gotten over being called “Meatball Ron” or “DeSanctimonious?” Nah.

And do you know who hasn’t come out and said the state shouldn’t pay Donald Trump’s legal bills? Donald Trump.

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