Fall Well


Let me say this about Jerry Falwell Jr: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Really, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. And when I say “nicer guy,” I really mean hypocritical, racist, condescending douchebag.

Jerry Falwell Jr released a photo of himself with his arm around a woman who is not his wife, with his pants unzipped, and holding a glass of black liquid. It was taken on a yacht. A lot of people, even Republicans, and other assorted asshole conservatives said this was the last straw. What were the other straws?

As president of Liberty University, he’s been accused of running the school like a dictatorship. He’s been accused of nepotism in favoring family-owned businesses in the school’s investments. He’s allowed his wife, the woman not in the unzipped-pants photo, to run school affairs. He’s shared racy photos of his wife to school employees. He’s had crude discussions of his sex life with coworkers. And, he’s sold Donald Trump merchandise from the University.

Last June, he made racist remarks that lead to two football players withdrawing from the school.

He once said if more people were armed, “Then we could end those Muslims before they walked in and killed them.”

After Donald Trump praised and defended Nazis in Charlottesville, Falwell said, “I think we need to grow up as a people and stop being so easily offended.” When asked, “”Is there anything President Trump could do that would endanger that support from you or other evangelical leaders?” Fucker Falwell said, “No.”

Last March, Falwell promoted a conspiracy theory that North Korea and China conspired together to create the coronavirus and Democrats were using it to hurt Donald Trump. He also said the media was “willing to destroy the economy just to hurt Trump.” Honestly, I’m shocked the person next to Falwell while his pants were unzipped wasn’t Donald Trump.

Falwell also reopened Liberty University during the pandemic which brought strong criticism from staff and students as well as a lawsuit.

Last year, Reuters reported that Falwell asked Trump’s former fixer, Michael Cohen, to get rid of dirty pictures of him and his wife. In a Politico story, in a car ride with a senior Liberty official, “All he wanted to talk about was how he would nail his wife, how she couldn’t handle his penis size, and stuff of that sort.”

I gotta say it. From that unzipped photo, we didn’t see anything his wife probably can’t handle.

Falwell also claims the beverage he’s holding in the photo was “black water.” Sure, and Bill Clinton didn’t inhale.

The board of Liberty University has forced Falwell to take an “indefinite” leave of absence after that “last straw.” Those were a lot of straws.

Maybe Donald Trump can give Falwell a pardon from the university punishing him, then like the last asshole he pardoned, Roger Stone, Falwell can go work on Trump’s campaign.

But why would the evangelical base have any problem with what Falwell did when they’ve never had a problem with Donald Trump’s behavior. They don’t care that he brags about “grabbing them by the pussy,” or the multiple accusations of sexual assault and even rape. They don’t care he tweets “white power” or defends Nazis.

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