Seven Banned Words


Is the Trump administration deliberately trying to troll us? It would seem if they want to exert their heavy hand over federal departments and ban actual words, then they wouldn’t settle on seven, thus forcing us to draw parallels with the late, great George Carlin’s most famous bit about seven words you can’t say on television.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were given a list of seven words and terms that are now forbidden to be included in official documents being prepared for next year’s budget. Those words are “‘vulnerable,” “entitlement,” “diversity,” “transgender,” “fetus,” “evidence-based,” and “science-based.” Couldn’t they have found an eighth term, like “orange douchebag?” But I bet nobody in the administration wants to hear or say that word, at least not until their inevitable firing, which will no longer be referred to as “shit-canned.”

In some cases, the agency was given replacement terms. Instead of “science-based” or “evidence-based,” one suggested phrase is, “CDC bases its recommendations on science in consideration of community standards and wishes.” Great. So now we’re replacing science and facts with wishes and what people want to hear.

Is this why they never use the word “zombie” in The Walking Dead?” In the first season, the survivors make their way to the CDC in Atlanta to learn we’re all screwed to high tits and that everyone comes back from the dead and Rick’s wife Lori has been screwing Shane. Not once does anyone say “zombie,” or even “who is that baby’s daddy?” Maybe the word was banned because an official saying “oh shit. Look at all them flesh-eating zombies” would start a national panic. I’m sorry, but if I’m sleeping underground in a sewer avoiding cannibalistic walking corpses, no memorandum from the idiots in the Trump administration will prevent me from saying “zombie,” or from wondering why Daryl, who is the coolest and most badass dude on the show, still hasn’t gotten laid after seven seasons. Heaven forbid someone would say “that’s a mighty diverse group of zombies making me feel very vulnerable right now. Daryl should kill them since he’s not busy having sex with anyone.”

This banning words and phrases crap isn’t a new thing for this ridiculous administration. They’ve made it difficult to address such issues as sexual orientation, gender identity, and abortion rights in the departments of Health and Human Services, Justice, Education, and Housing and Urban Development.

Last March, HHS dropped questions about sexual orientation and gender identity in two surveys of elderly people. I guess that’s OK because being gay and transgender didn’t become a thing until millennials showed up.

HHS has also removed information about LGBT Americans from its website. They’ve also removed information that outlined federal services that are available for LGBT people, including how to adopt and receive help if they are victims of sex trafficking. This is why anytime you get an automated voice giving options on the phone, press zero instead of wasting 17 minutes listening to the choices. Yours isn’t gonna be included anyway.

If they’re banning words at the CDC then how many other departments are also receiving lists of words and phrases they can’t say? Will the Army start referring to guns as “boom sticks?” Will the National Park Service start referring to wildlife protected areas as “detriments to paved enhancements?” The Justice Department will probably start referring to FBI agents investigating the Trump campaign as “witch hunters.”

The director for the CDC is telling us there are no banned words, despite there being banned words and others in the agency verifying they have received a list and attended a meeting on this subject.

Other officials are saying it’s not an “outright” ban, but more of a technique to secure approval of their 2019 budget from a hysterical, conspiracy-driven, science and fact-challenged Republican Congress with the comprehensive skills of a gopher on acid. If you listen to any of those bozos on the news or follow their Twitter feeds, you can see how words like “fetus,” “diversity,” “transgender,” “fact,” and “science” can freak them out and drive them into a hillbilly hootenanny.

But some in the scientific community say that forbidding certain words could change the direction of policies. Dr. Sandro Galea of Boston University’s School of Public Health said “if you are saying you cannot use words like ‘transgender’ and ‘diversity,’ it’s a clear statement that you cannot pay attention to these issues.”

He has a point. Do you remember the Republican congressman who heads the science committee who brought a snowball to the floor of the House to prove Climate Change is a myth?

If the zombie apocalypse does hit, I’m not letting any of these Republican idiots into my sewer.

Creative note: I’m sure some other cartoonists will use the same theme I’m using today, but screw it. In case you’re not aware or you have forgotten, here’s where you can find Carlin’s seven dirty words.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.



  1. Since this about somebody (in the case the CDC) getting paid, I’d like to ask a question I’ve been wondering about for a while. You may not even be able to answer it due to contract ND or just because you don’t feel like it. For the record I know what I am asking may be considered rude, but I really don’t like the idea of supporting POVs that skew so far away from not only my POV, but reality in general. OK now that I prefaced it so much you’ve probably stopped reading (I hope you haven’t) here goes: How does gocomics remunerate you for your work? Is it by number of subscriptions? Or does just being on the site pay a set amount? I have always tried to read all the political comics so I can get an idea of how others think. All through President Obama’s terms there were some on the right who were definitely wearing their sheets proudly. Since Trump they have because brain-dead. Still writing about Hillary, saying that Hollywood & the Democrats have ignored the women coming forth, that Moore did nothing wrong and is being railroaded. Alex Jones might as well have given them the words & they just drew pictures. Seriously if having these cretins in my feed is rewarding them in any way I want to stop it. I try to see issues from different sides i.e. abortion. I can see how some could believe it’s a baby & not a bunch of cells. I disagree with them, but I UNDERSTAND them. I don’t understand how anyone can look at Trump’s history & say he’s a good man. There is no other side to that. When the scales are weighed the few good things he’s done do NOT come close to evening the scales. So please tell me if I am in some way helping to pay people who make me want to vomit. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “When the scales are weighed the few good things he’s done do NOT come close to evening the scales.”
      I’m not disagreeing with you, but I am curious, can Anyone name ANY of the “few good things” that 45* has actually done?


  2. It’s funny how Carlin’s words seem quaint in today’s environment. You can only hear the word “pussy” so many times before you’re completely desensitized. I’m still not, but then, I like the full breadth and width of the English language, so today’s meme language is just irritating. I do intend to repeatedly use “science-based” and “evidence-based” in opposition to “I got my news from Facebook and Fox”.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. A popular topic indeed, I wrote a post on this as well. I didn’t see this quite as malicious as some people did, but more of an ineffective and distasteful way to push right-wing agenda. Which by the way is not “anti-science.”


    1. “… NOT “anti-science.”???
      Actually, GOP (New Red Menace) right-wing agenda is NOT MERELY anti-science; it is also anti-intelligence, anti-reality, anti-truth, anti-ethics, anti-compassion, anti-decency, anti-democracy, anti-freedom, anti-Constitution, anti-American, and Yes, ANTI-(the majority parts of)SCIENCE(which don’t support the lies that it promotes).


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s