Scary Banjos


I understand presidents lose seats in the House and Senate in midterm elections. People vote against the party in the White House. They want something different. What’s odd this time is how big the election went for the Republicans. What the Hell do people want?

Obama is very unpopular I get it. Apparently people don’t like the deficit being reduced, killing bin Laden, keeping terrorism at bay, increasing employment, providing health care to every American, making the country a more tolerable and accepting place for everyone and even reducing gas prices. What’s the problem? Does Obama have to make house calls for every single individual in this country and give them a neck massage?

OK. The voters want change. So take Iowa for example. You got this Republican with a very annoying fake laugh that says Obama is a dictator who’s apathetic. Wait. How can he be apathetic and a dictator? She also says he’s not doing anything. So he’s a lazy apathetic dictator. When told by a reporter that there was only one case of Ebola in the country right now she said that was his opinion. So obviously the voters are hungry for stupid.

Democrats ran from Obama. OK, Democrats, how bad would the loss have been if you campaigned with Obama or at least admitted you voted for him? Another funny thing is, yes there was a revolt against Obama, but if he was on the ballot there would have been a lot more voters coming out to vote Democrat.

Even in my state of residence Mark Warner, a popular senator, barely beat a no-name token candidate who used to lobby for Enron and dictators. I kept waiting for videos to surface of the guy drowning puppies, clubbing baby seals and attending a rave with Kim Jong Il. Apparently the other side of the ballot could have read “anyone else” and it would have been a tight race.

Over the past four years the Republicans haven’t done anything except try to roll back Obamacare, shut down the government, attempt to derail the economy and throw us into more stupid wars. Apparently that’s what this nation is missing. What do you expect over the next two years? A two year impeachment trial while they wait for Obama to actually break a law?  More Benghazi hearings? A bunch of flat-earthers on the science committees? Finally, legislative policy will favor old rich white guys. I expect an old rich white dude national holiday soon.

I’ll tell you who’ll be better off over the next two years. Millionaires, billionaires and political cartoonists.

Thank you, America.

One comment

  1. Republicans won on the same platform Democrats ran in 2006 & 2008: “We’re not them!” Dems spent most of Bush’s second term publicly magnifying every negative thing they could pin on the GOP. Guess what the GOP has been doing for the last 6-years!?

    Doesn’t it say something that the NRA can scare people into thinking that Obama is out to get their guns when in reality, gun laws have been rolled back further in 6-years under Obama than they were in 8 under Bush!? Republican can’t talk about the economy without pointing out that it’s just as bad today as when Obama took office. Despite that, every evening newscast shows the economy improving, ad just about every quarter we hear there’s a net drop in unemployment. But Obama’s ruining this country!

    Depending on when you talk to a republican, he’s either a do-nothing President or he’s ruining the country. How can he be ruining the country when Congressional Republicans make no secret of their goal to stop anything the President wants from getting through.

    It amazes me that all the new outlets describe this as a mandate for the Republican platform when just 2-years ago the GOP was “out of touch.” I see this is a 3-year old getting its way after 4-years of stubbornness. Voters haven’t changed their ideals, they’re sick and tired of Government getting paid to do nothing. Now they’ll get to see the Hobby Lobby decision codified. They’ll get to see DOMA reintroduced and likely passed. We’ll get to pay for yet another war in Iraq. We’ll tell the global medical community that the country with “the greatest health care system in the world” isn’t at all interested in helping with the Ebola outbreak in Africa. We can’t frac in Western Africa, so screw-em!

    Finally, we’ll get to see so many more cool military boondoggle projects like the Osprey, F22, F35, Bradley that cost billions, produce very little benefit and can’t actually protect troops on the ground. Meanwhile we’ll see millions cut from education in the name of “small government.” Because it’s way more important that our military hardware induces war-boners than our children being able to find their own home town on a damn map!


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