Mueller Report

Bull Durham

Right-wing media is excited that the Durham investigation has finally issued a reportfor them to be excited about. And just like with Hunter Biden’s laptop and crime in the Biden family, the headline is more exciting than the actual details.

And as usual, the goon cartoonists are all tingly inside about it too while not doing a good job of understanding it. For example, Henry Payne and Lisa Benson both use Trump’s empty talking points which I suppose is easier than thinking for yourself. Chip Bok is perfectly fine without seeing any proof and with just taking Durham’s word for it, as are Scott Stantis, Dana Summers, and Gary Varvel. As sexist Steve Kelley usually does, he lied about it. There are two things Bob Gorrell calls the Durham report “explosive” while not telling us what’s so explosive about it. I got your explosive right here, Bob.

John Durham has issued a 306-page report that says the Russia investigation, known as “Crossfire Hurricane,” never should have happened in the first place. Seriously? This is more like a Fox News segment than a Special Counsel report. If anything, the John Durham investigation never should have happened.

The Durham investigation was created by pressure from Donald Trump when he was president (sic). Trump tweeted there needed to be an investigation into the Russia investigation. The idea was to prove that Crossfire Hurricane, which was NOT an investigation into Trump but into his campaign staffers’ links with Russian officials and spies that began during the 2016 presidential campaign, and the Mueller investigation were a deep-state conspiratorial plots against Donald Trump. Facing pressure from Trump, Attorney General William Barr created an investigation in April 2019, into the “witch hunt” and “Russia hoax” and selected U.S. Attorney John Durham to lead it. The goal, Barr claimed, was to determine if intelligence collection involving the Trump campaign was “lawful and appropriate.”

In an interview with Fox News in April 2020, Barr said of the Russia investigation, “The evidence shows that we are not dealing with just mistakes or sloppiness. There is something far more troubling here.” Trump and his supporters believed the Durham investigation would lead to prison sentences for the former directors of the FBI and CIA, James Comey and John Brennan, and Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, President Biden, and maybe also Robert Mueller, Sean Penn, Robert DeNiro, Kathy Griffin, and Randy Rainbow.

This investigation was a sham from its inception. It was only created to discredit the investigations and facts about Trump’s links to Russia. Durham was compromised from the start since he was a United States Attorney appointed by Donald Trump who was selected for this investigation by an Attorney General appointed by Donald Trump after he promised on Fox News that he’d use the AG job to protect Trump if he ever got it (he did). If there was an investigation of this investigation of an investigation, it would determine this investigation never should have happened. It was a waste of time and money.

And knowing he was running out of time, William Barr secretly appointed John Durham as a Special Counsel after the investigation had failed to find any real dirt or deep state plot, and in order for the investigation to carry on after the Trump administration (sic) was over and be a pesty buzzing fly around the Biden administration. This is actual weaponization of the Justice Department.

Durham’s report finds “confirmation bias” because a “lack of analytical rigor” was used in creating the investigation into Trump and Russia. It didn’t find any “political bias.” He reported that the investigation into Trump and Russia never should have happened. I call bullshit.

There had to be an investigation into Trump and Russia. Donald Trump was supported by Russia in the 2016 presidential campaign. Russia operated an election interference campaign on social media to help elect Trump. Trump hired staffers with deep connections to Russia, not just the coffee boy but his campaign manager (who he later pardoned after he was indicted). He repeated Russian talking points at rallies. He defended Vladimir Putin’s murdering of journalists, The same day he publicly said, “Russia, if you’re listening,” asking them to hack into the Democratic Party’s presidential campaign, Russia started doing as he asked. Next, he started reading the hacking results at campaign rallies. He hosted Russians in Trump Tower, his campaign headquarters, for the purpose of collecting dirt on Hillary Clinton, his opponent. After the election, Jared Kushner attempted to create a back channel in order to communicate with Russia without the CIA’s knowledge. Trump hired General Michael Flynn as his National Security Adviser, who only lasted about three weeks because he lied about his connections to Russia. Trump asked James Comey, the director of the FBI to kill an investigation into Flynn and his connections to Russia. When Comey declined, Trump fired him. Then, Trump invited Russian government officials into the Oval Office, handed them classified information, and bragged that he killed the Russia investigation by firing Comey. Because of that, his Attorney General at that time, Jeff Sessions, appointed Robert Mueller to investigate Trump and his connections to Russia. Then, Trump fired Jeff Sessions. Later at a summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin, Trump took the Russian president’s side over that of U.S. intelligence regarding Russia’s interference in the 2016 election. Trump destroyed the translator’s notes from his private meeting with Putin. At another summit, he had an unplanned meeting with Putin without any other American present.

So, how the fuck do you not investigate that?

The Mueller investigation produced 37 indictments. The Durham investigation only produced one guilty plea by an FBI lawyer who had doctored an email requesting a wiretap renewal. That guilty plea resulted in probation, not prison time.

Donald Trump “truthed, “WOW! After extensive research, Special Counsel John Durham concludes the FBI never should have launched the Trump-Russia Probe! In other words, the American Public was scammed, just as it is being scammed right now by those who don’t want to see GREATNESS for AMERICA!”

No, a scam is when you charge taxpayers nearly $7 million on a bullshit investigation that only produces one probation and zero changes within the FBI or Justice Department.

Tom Fitton, a Trump ally and the leader of the conservative group Judicial Watch, and a believer that the Russia investigation was a deep state plot by Obama, Hillary Clinton, and other Democrats, was disappointed in the Durham Report. He said, “Durham let down the American people with few and failed prosecutions. Never in American history has so much government corruption faced so little accountability.”

But Durham was set up for failure because no laws were broken and there wasn’t a “deep state conspiracy” to frame Trump. There was way less evidence to create this sham investigation than there was to create Crossfire Hurricane and the Mueller investigation.

Aitan Goelman, the lawyer for former FBI agent Peter Strzok said that while the special counsel accused the F.B.I. of “confirmation bias,” it was John Durham who spent four years trying to find support for a preformed belief about the Russia investigation.

Goelman said, “In fact, it is Mr. Durham’s investigation that was politically motivated, a direct consequence of former President Trump’s weaponization of the Department of Justice, an effort that unanimous juries in each of Mr. Durham’s trials soundly rejected.”

Durham spent close to four years and nearly $7 million looking for a witch hunt and he came up empty. The Durham investigation was just more Trump fuckery and his report proves it. The report doesn’t even point out that any laws were broken and doesn’t recommend any prosecutions.

The Durham investigation is over, but Trump fuckery will remain for decades to come.

Creative note: I got this idea last night and it seemed so obvious and simplistic that I wondered why I hadn’t already thought of it…and that made me think maybe I shouldn’t do it. I had a basic concept of another idea on the subject, but I wasn’t nailing it yet, so I kept coming back to this. I slept on it…and really slept on it because I had a dream about how to do this. And it wasn’t until right after I woke up that I realized that the bull needed Jack Durham’s head on it. That clinched it for me. Now, if someone else draws this same idea later today or tomorrow, I’m going to be upset.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Mueller Speaks

cjones06012019

Special Counsel Robert Mueller finally spoke and what he said without saying it is that Attorney General William Barr is a filthy, sycophantic liar helping Donald Trump engage in a PR campaign to mislead the American people.

Mueller doesn’t want to speak beyond yesterday’s quickie press conference, where he didn’t take questions, or testify before Congress. He said his testimony is in the report. Fox News and Trump cultist Sean Hannity asked, “if his testimony is in the report, then why did he speak?” My answer to Sean is, probably because the report has been misconstrued by William Barr, you sycophantic dillhole.

Mueller didn’t come out and say he disagreed with Barr, but his statements contradicted his boss (his boss until he officially resigns from the Justice Department, which he says he is now doing).

Barr said Mueller’s conclusions did not include a determination of whether Trump had committed obstruction of justice. Mueller stated, “If we had had the confidence that the president (sic) clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so.” They didn’t say so.

Barr said the Special Counsel’s decision not to reach any legal conclusions leave it to the AG to determine whether Trump committed a crime. Mueller alluded to Congress to make the determination and that their impeachment power is the constitutional arbiter (if you’re a Republican, “arbiter” means decision maker).

Mueller was clear in that he never intended to charge Trump because of the long-standing legal opinion of the Justice Department that a sitting president can’t be indicted. Mueller said Wednesday, “The Constitution requires a process other than the criminal justice system to formally accuse a sitting president of wrongdoing. Barr claims that in private meetings with Mueller, that Mueller said he would not claim Trump would have been charged with a crime if he weren’t the president. Barr stated last month, “He made very clear several times that that was not his position.”

One of these two men, Robert Mueller or William Barr is a liar. The liar is Barr.

The liar, Donald Trump, went batshit crazy this morning, and because he’s stupid, he inadvertently admitted Russia helped him win the election. Don’t you love that?

Trump accused Mueller of being “totally conflicted” and a “true never-Trumper,” as if that’s a bad thing. You can consider me a never-ever-ever-ever-ever-times-infinity-never Trumper.

Trump tweeted that he, “Had nothing to do with Russia helping me get elected.” That’s like saying, “I had nothing to do with the Russian hookers’ golden shower” before anyone told you “hooker” was plural (if you’re a Republican, plural means more than one).

Mueller explicitly stated that Russia sought to hurt Hillary Clinton and help Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. Trump claimed this morning that Russia didn’t want him to win and that they were trying to help Clinton. This defies not just Mueller’s statement but Vladimir Putin’s, who expressed he wanted Trump to win the election…while he was standing on the same stage with Donald Trump in Helsinki (if you’re a Republican, Helsinki is the capital of Finland).

Trump stated this morning that “impeachment” is a “dirty, filthy disgusting word.” No. what’s disgusting is the term “President Donald Trump.” No one becomes green from nauseation when hearing “impeachment.” It gives me a warm, squishy feeling that produces a glow.

Trump continues to claim he’s exonerated while Mueller stated that because of the Justice Department opinion, “Charging the president (sic) with a crime was therefore not an option we could consider.” In case you’re a Republican, that is NOT an exoneration. Someone tell Hannity.

Now, Mueller wants to go home without having to answer any more questions. That’s too bad. Mueller will speak before Congress and he should. There are still answers like, why didn’t you interview Donald Trump? Why didn’t you interview Donald Trump Jr? Why aren’t Donald Trump Jr, Ivanka Trump, and Hope Hicks in prison? Why didn’t you recommend charges like Ken Starr did to Bill Clinton? How is it even possible for someone as stupid as Donald Trump to have not killed himself yet from forgetting to breathe, let alone convince 62 million Americans to vote for his racist ass?

Mueller wants us off his lawn. I don’t see that happening any time soon. Mueller owes the American people answers for why he left us with a president who refuses to give honest answers.

Robert Meuller left an inept, racist, stupid, narcissistic, corrupt excuse for a human being as president of this nation. He doesn’t get to go home.

Mueller has ‘splainin’ to do.

Creative note: In May of 2016, I drew my first digital cartoon on my Surface Pro 4 (it was on George Zimmerman). Today, the 4 is retired and this is the very first cartoon on my new Surface Pro 6. This is kind of a big deal for me as my Surface has been, as my girlfriend puts it, an extension of myself over the past three years. I’ve drawn cartoons at home, in friends’ homes, girlfriend’s home (NOT plural), in coffee shops, restaurants, bars, hotels, and even on a train. I feel like I’m leaving behind a loyal friend. Let’s hope the new bigger, stronger, faster Surface is reliable and as good to me as the older, smaller, slower Surface. At any rate, they can both piss me off. The new one accomplished that feat within the first hour of owning it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Shave Your Toadyism

cjones05172019

William Barr is NOT acting as the Attorney General and is instead working as Donald Trump’s personal defender.

He deflected the Mueller Report. He held onto it for three weeks after he issued his misleading memo. When asked how Mueller felt about his memo, Barr lied and said he didn’t know despite having received two letters and one phone call from Mueller telling him that he didn’t like it. When I was a teenager, a girl’s father once threatened to shoot me if he ever caught me climbing into his daughter’s window again, but other than that comment I’m not sure how he felt about me.

Barr also quibbled when asked if anyone in the White House asked him to investigate the investigators. William Barr has engaged in a coverup and is now doing Donald Trump’s bidding, which is using the Justice Department to go after his political enemies.

The Justice Department is now investigating how the FBI conducted its investigation into Russia’s meddling and involvement in the Trump campaign. We’re now going after people for going after Russian spies.

Donald Trump promised during the presidential campaign that he would use the Justice Department to go after his political enemies. His first AG didn’t work out in that regard so he fired him to install a genuine toady in the position. This is where William Barr entered the picture.

Trump says we need to move on from the investigations into Russia. All investigations are bad except investigations into investigations.

We are now a banana republic without the bananas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Jr

cjones05132019

I can’t imagine Donald Trump being a hands-on father. I’m fairly confident the guy never did a 2:00 am feeding or changed a diaper in his life. He probably didn’t even know where the diapers were kept in his penthouse, other than the ones he has to wear himself. I definitely can’t see him playing catch with any of his kids. But maybe, if he and Jr go to prison together, they can form a little bonding time in the year.

Sometimes I wonder how Trump’s staff can’t prevent him from embarrassing himself, like when he publicly displays his lack of comprehension. Whoever read the Mueller Report to him didn’t do a good job of making him understand it.

After Donald Trump Jr was subpoenaed last week by the Senate Intelligence Committee, Trump griped to the media the unfairness of it all. He said the Mueller Report exonerated Trump Jr. It did not. In case you’re keeping score at home, Jr refused to give an interview to Mueller’s team. For some reason, they didn’t subpoena him.

While arguing the “exoneration” of Trump Jr, Daddy Trump referred to the report as “the Bible.” Again, he didn’t read the report as it contradicts not just Jr’s public statements about the Trump Tower meeting and having business interests in Russia, it contradicts his previous Senate testimony. In case you’re a Republican, that’s perjury. That can land Jr in prison. If the Mueller Report is “the Bible,” then Trumpy Jr should be going to prison.

Trump also argued that Jr shouldn’t testify again because he had already done so before the committee in private. That’s why he needs to testify again, because that first testimony was contradicted by the Mueller Report, you know, “the Bible.”

Donald Trump is an idiot and he passed it on to his idiot son.

Creative note: This cartoon may be too subtle. But, two out of the three people who saw it in its rough form really liked it, so I went with it. Sorry for the late Saturday cartoon, but I was doing stuff this morning, like sleeping.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Transparent President?

cjones05102019

For Donald Trump, claiming he’s the “most transparent president ever,” would be like saying you’re honest while stealing from a charity.

It’d be like saying you’re a great businessman and writing a book called “Art of the Deal” during a decade of losing over a billion dollars.

It’d be like saying, “I’m the least racist person ever” while building a racist vanity project to keep out brown people.”

It’d be like attacking a Congresswoman for antisemitism after you’ve retweeted Nazis.

It’d be like complaining about undocumented workers after you’ve hired undocumented workers.

It’d be like attacking Democrats for sexual scandals after you’ve paid women to keep quiet about your diddling them.

It’d be like complaining about antisemitism after you’ve called for a ban on Muslims, called someone “Pocahontas,” accused Black Lives Matter of being thugs, referred to nations where brown people come from as “shithole countries,” called Mexicans “rapists” and “murderers,” accused black women of being dumb, said a judge is unfit because he’s of Mexican lineage, referred to immigrants as “animals,” engaged in birtherism, or praised Nazis.

It’d be like saying you’ll only hire the best people then hiring your daughter, your son-in-law, Betsy Devos, Ben Carson, Rick Perry, Omarosa, William Barr, Jeff Sessions, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon, etc.

It’d be like saying, “I know more than the generals” while believing there are invisible airplanes.

It’d be like claiming you’re a great negotiator then after receiving an offer, negotiating yourself down to receiving nothing.

It’s like giving your opponents nicknames like “Crooked Hillary” and “Lyin’ Ted” then telling over 10,000 lies.

It’d be like saying you love America and you’re a patriot while ignoring that Russia meddled in our last election and is planning to do it again in the next one.

It’d be like saying, “I’ll own the shutdown,” then later saying, “They did it.”

It’d be like saying, “No one understands science more than I do” while believing noise from windmills causes cancer.

It’d be like complaining that Facebook’s bans on racists are a threat to the First Amendment while declaring there should be laws restricting a free press.

It’d be like complaining about “fake news” while retweeting conspiracy theories.

It’d be like saying you’re a “young and vibrant man” while looking like THAT.

It’d be like making fun of someone else’s hair while wearing a bleached mongoose on your head.

It’d be like questioning if Obama was born in the United States while lying where your father was born.

It’d be like complaining about someone not releasing their college transcripts while hiding your college transcripts.

It’d be like complaining about someone staging a hate crime after you’ve encouraged your rally attendants to assault black people.

It’d be like saying, “no one respects women more than I do” while grabbing them by the pussy.

It’d be like complaining about Antifa when your supporters are mailing bombs to Democrats and journalists.

It’d be like saying, “No one’s more presidential than I am” while you’re dry humping a flag.

It’d be like “writing” a book when you’re illiterate.

It’d be like saying you support our troops after you’ve said a POW is not a war hero and feuded with Gold Star families.

It’d like accusing Joe Biden of being creepy after you’ve stated that if you two weren’t related, you’d be dating your daughter.

It’d be like accusing Democrats of colluding with Russia after you invited Russians into your campaign headquarters.

It’d be like claiming you’re a family man after you had three divorces and children from three different women.

It’d be like saying you don’t support Nazis after you hired Stephen Miller.

Yeah, it’d be like that.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

I Get Snitty For CNN

CNN05052019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I wrote about this the other day so I don’t think I need to do it again. I went down the same path with my last cartoon on Barr. Instead, I’ll talk about creating it.

I asked CNN to be flexible weeks ago regarding the Thursday the Herblock ceremony fell on. I kept reminding them each week. We can go pretty late on Thursdays. I wasn’t able to do that last week.

Normally, I wait for them to be ready to work and I don’t contact them at all. last Thursday, I opened the conversation and got the ball rolling. I knew they’d want to do something on William Barr, snitty, and him being a no-show.

My hotel room wasn’t ready yet but I was there. The building the hotel is in also holds a common area for Georgetown University, the campus bookstore, and several dining establishments including a Starbucks. It also has horrible WiFi.

I started drawing at Starbucks which was great because I have several gift cards. I had one mocha, one coffee, and a bottle of water. At some point, I needed to pace around and I knew I would lose my awesome seat as the place was crowded. This Starbucks had a constant line. It was always long.

I moved over to the common area and the WiFi there was a little better. It was kinda cool to work in a busy environment where everyone around me was working on their laptops. Usually, when I draw in public, people look at me and often initiate a conversation. I don’t think anyone noticed me at Georgetown. Since the hotel and university are connected to the hospital, there were a lot of their employees around too. So, I wasn’t the only older guy there.

I got my idea approved by CNN around 2:00 pm and then I was notified that my room was ready. Then my friend Amanda arrived, who I had not seen in a few years. The cool part about having my idea approved is that the hard part was over. I didn’t have to think anymore. I could focus on preparing for the award ceremony.

I drew the cartoon Friday morning and completed it five minutes before I was due to check out. I had a lunch planned with the Herblock people, the winner Matt Davies and his wife Lucy, and Politico’s Matt Wuerker at the National Press Club. I told CNN that I was leaving my hotel but if there were any changes they wanted, to just let me know as there is a Starbucks about every seven feet in Washington.

I’ve been drawing on my Surface Pro for three years now and this is the first time I’ve taken it out of town and done work on it…which is one reason for it. It was kinda cool to pretend to be important because I had deadlines while being in Washington.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Snotty On Snitty

cjones05062019

While mucking around in Georgetown on Thursday, I popped into the campus bookstore and for ten bucks, bought a copy of the Mueller Report.

The only reason I had to purchase the thing is for posterity’s sake. I bought a copy of the Starr Report when it first came out too (and believe it or not, in the only conversation I ever had with him, Herblock told me to throw it away). I have already gone through Mueller’s report, but now I can at least grab the hard, OK, softcover copy for reference. And, I bought it despite one of the writers for the introduction being Alan Dershowitz, who has spent the past two years being a Trump sycophant.

From the introduction, it seems Dershowitz had read more of the report than Attorney General William Barr, who has proven to be nothing more than Donald Trump’s Roy Cohn.

Barr released a very flawed summary of the report weeks before releasing a redacted version. During his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Barr complained that Mueller’s objection to his description of the report was “snitty.” He also complained about the volume of material Mueller included in the report, probably because it created more stuff for Barr to lie about.

Barr also complained about the summaries Mueller included, saying, “I made it clear to him I was not in the business of putting out periodic summaries because a summary would start a whole public debate about its accuracy”, says the guy who wrote an inaccurate summary.

He complained about Mueller digging into “additional episodes” of Trump’s possible obstruction, which doesn’t matter since Barr had decided before he even took the job that Trump never obstructed justice.

He even insulted team Mueller. When asked by Senator Marsha Blackburn, “Do you consider these lawyers to be the best and the brightest in the field?” Barr replied, “Not necessarily.”

In testimony before releasing the report, Barr was asked if Mueller approved of his summary. He said he didn’t know. He lied. He knew Mueller was unhappy because he had received it in a written context. It was on the record. He had also talked to Mueller personally. He knew. Before the United States Senate, William Barr, the Attorney General of the United States, committed perjury.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi has also accused Barr of committing perjury. Republicans and the White House were upset with that. But then again, they also say you can’t accuse a president of obstruction when he commits obstruction.

Barr has not operated as the nation’s top lawyer and has worked more as Trump’s personal defender. If there’s any real estate left on Trump’s colossal ass that Sean Hannity has missed, Barr has it covered.

Barr should be impeached, or resign, or at the very least have his own colossal ass kicked by Robert Mueller. Maybe there are “13 angry” Democrats who’d like to join in.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Snitty Redactions

cjones05052019

Attorney General William Barr did not just mislead Congress and the American people. He lied. He is a liar and an obstructor helping the fraudulently elected president of the United States engage in a coverup.

Barr sat on the Mueller Report for three weeks but released a summary stating Mueller wanted him, as Attorney General, to determine if Trump had obstructed justice. After the report was released, we discovered he had misrepresented it and that Mueller intended Congress to make the determination of obstruction, not the AG.

During a Congressional hearing several weeks ago before he released the report, Barr was asked if Mueller agreed with his summary. Barr said he didn’t know. Barr lied. At that time, Barr knew Mueller didn’t agree with his summary.

Last night, we found out Mueller did NOT agree with Barr’s summary and was concerned with the way it was represented to the public. During today’s testimony before the Senate, Barr said Mueller’s chief concern was how the media was covering it. However, Mueller’s letter didn’t mention the media.

Barr was also perplexed as to why Mueller even wrote a letter instead of calling him to express concerns, appearing ignorant as to why the Special Counsel would want it in the written record that he disagreed with Barr.

Mueller wrote, “The summary letter the Department sent to Congress and released to the public late in the afternoon of March 24 did not fully capture the context, nature, and substance of this Office’s work and conclusions.” Mueller took the Attorney General to the woodshed.

He also wrote, “There is now public confusion about critical aspects of the results of our investigation. This threatens to undermine a central purpose for which the Department appointed the Special Counsel: to assure full public confidence in the outcome of the investigations.”

Barr described the letter as a “little snitty.” This sniveling shitweasel who’s acting at Trump’s personal attorney and defender, who has misrepresented and lied about the Mueller Report, thinks his letter is a “little snitty.”

How’s this for snitty? Mueller wrote, “Accordingly, the enclosed documents are in a form that can be released to the public consistent with legal requirements and Department policies. I am requesting that you provide these materials to Congress and authorize their public release at this time.” Barr did NOT release those at that time. He sat on them and instead released his shit-stained summary. Why? Because he’s helping Donald Trump engage in a coverup.

Barr was asked today when the president requested that Mueller be removed, how was that not obstruction of justice? Barr responded that asking Mueller be removed was not the same as asking for him to be fired. Seriously. I did not go to law school but I think the legal term for what Barr said is “bullshit.”

After the hearing, Trump suckup Lindsey Graham, Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee said that he will not call for Mueller or former White House Counsel Don McGahn to testify. He said the entire thing “is over.” Thankfully, the House is controlled by Democrats and we’ll probably see testimonies from Mueller and McGahn.

Barr is set to testify before the House tomorrow, but he’s refusing to go. His complaint is that the House will allow their lawyers to question him. Keep in mind, that when Christine Blasey Ford testified before the Senate, the GOP started the hearing by having a lawyer question her. Blasey Ford did not back down or refuse to go. She bravely confronted this line of questioning by a partisan professional prosecutor. Barr, who is a lawyer and the freaking Attorney General of the United States, is afraid of being questioned by lawyers.

Lindsey Graham and Republicans accused Democrats, specifically Senator Mazie Hirono, of slandering Barr and his reputation. You are not slandering a liar when you call him a liar. When you crawl up Donald Trump’s ass, nobody is slandering your reputation. You slandered it yourself.

And you smell like shit.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Jared Says “Nyet”

cjones04282019

Trust-fund baby and poster child for nepotism Jared Kushner said the investigation into Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election was worse for our country than the interference.

Jared said, “The whole thing is just a big distraction for the country. You look at what Russia did — buying some Facebook ads to try and sow dissent. And it’s a terrible thing, but I think the investigation and all the speculation that’s happened over the past two years has had a much harsher impact on our democracy than a couple of Facebook ads.”

A couple of Facebook ads? According to the Mueller Report and American Intelligence agencies, the Russias did a little more than buying a couple of Facebook ads in order to disrupt our country, hurt the Clinton campaign, and help Donald Trump. Jared should know. He was in the Trump Tower meeting with Russians. He saw first hand and up close how they were offering to help Trump win the election.

After the election, Jared went to the Russian embassy and attempted to establish a back channel to Moscow in order to communicate with Russia without our intelligence agencies detecting it. The idea was so stupid that it shocked the Russians, who passed on the idea. Up to that point, they thought Carter Page was the dumbest fuck to come out of the Trump campaign…other than Trump himself.

A Kremlin-backed entity called the Internet Research Agency, or IRA, ran the social media campaign out of St. Petersburg, Russia. The IRA purchased over 3,500 Facebook advertisements and spent some $100,000 on the political ads. According to the Mueller Report, the group also controlled multiple Facebook groups and Instagram accounts that “had hundreds of thousands of U.S. participants.” If you believe the Mueller Report exonerated Trump and have ignored the findings on Trump’s obstruction and willingness to accept help from Russians, then you were probably one of those participants. You are the cattle from the Russian troll farms.

After the election, a Facebook executive told Congress that the IRA controlled some 470 accounts that generated 80,000 posts between January 2015 and August 2017.

Mueller also reported, “Facebook estimated the IRA reached as many as 126 million persons through its Facebook accounts.” The IRA controlled Twitter accounts with “tens of thousands of followers.” Among the followers were “multiple U.S. political figures who retweeted IRA-created content.” You know, Republicans.

Twitter says the IRA controlled more than 3,800 accounts, and likely reached nearly 1.5 million Twitter users.

These are not the only facts Jared is ignoring. He didn’t mention Russia’s hacking and dumping of material belong to the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign. He also failed to mention his father-in-law publicly asking Russia to do this. He also didn’t mention Donald Trump Jr. saying in a reply to the Russians offering help, “I love it.”

Saying it was just a couple of Facebook ads that were used in a hostile nation’s attack against our country is like saying 9/11 was one or two planes flying into buildings, but who’s counting?

Jared got the job as Senior Adviser to the president based on his high qualifications of marrying Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, who is also on staff at the White House as an adviser based upon her qualifications of being Trump’s daughter and designing handbags.

You would think a guy serving as a senior adviser to the president would advise him on the facts, not feed his confirmation bias. Then again, Jared isn’t qualified for the job. He didn’t even qualify for his security clearance and needed Trump to overrule the FBI’s decision not to give him one.

Jared has been compromised by Russia and his financial ties to nations in the Middle East, such as Saudi Arabia. Upon receiving his security clearance, he proved he wasn’t qualified for it or had our nation’s interest at heart because he started conversating with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman through WhatsApp, hoping conversations would be deleted, and undetected by U.S. intelligence. What the hell are you and MBS talking about, Jared?  Many professionals in American intelligence are shocked at Jared’s attempts to skip protocol and security in talking to foreign officials.

After Saudi Arabia killed a Washington Post journalist by hacking him to death inside one of their embassies, Jared didn’t call it murder. He would only go so far as to call it a “tragedy,” as though the journalist slipped into the bone saw.

An author of a new book on Jared, Ivanka, and their special privilege says that Jared couldn’t get a “TSA pre-check” without Trump’s help.

The Trump administration is dangerous. Donald Trump has yet to publicly call for Russia not to interfere in our elections. Am I the only one to notice that? It’s been reported that former Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen was instructed not to mention Russian meddling to Trump as it would hurt his fragile ego. Thank God FDR’s advisers didn’t feel that way about Pearl Harbor.

Reading Jared’s description of Russian interference, it sounds like he’d rather soothe Trump’s insecurities than defend the United States. This is why they’re dangerous. They’re not protecting America. In fact, they are encouraging Russia to do it again. They’ve already made it clear there will be no consequences for their actions.

Being a trust-fund baby who marries a trust-fund baby who’s the daughter of a trust-fund baby doesn’t qualify one for the position of Senior Adviser to the president of the United States. Jared also doesn’t qualify for a security clearance, and the man who granted it, the president of the United States, doesn’t qualify for one either.

Congress shouldn’t stop at Trump’s tax returns. They should go after Jared’s too. Jared does not belong in Washington. Soon, just like Trump, he’ll belong in prison.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

There’s Something Wrong With Rudy

cjones04252019

Just in case the Trump team’s defense of all of Donald’s transgressions documented in the Mueller Report wasn’t stupid enough, they trotted out Rudy Giuliani on Sunday for all the talk shows.

For months, Mayor Rudy went on the talk shows and defended Trump by saying, “He didn’t do it.” Then, he changed that position to, “If he did it then it wasn’t wrong.” It’s like when he flipped from defending former Trump lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen from respectable lawyer and family man to lying betrayer. If only he could delete his pro-Cohen tweets like Sean Hannity did.

On Sunday, Rudy told CNN’s Jake Tapper, “There’s nothing wrong with taking information from Russians.” That’s his position because that’s exactly what the Trump campaign did and it’s laid out in Mueller’s report. Not only did the Trump team use information that was obtained illegally by Russia, they asked for it and were eager to get it.

Rudy was responding to Mitt Romney’s statement that he was “sickened” by what he read in the Mueller Report and “appalled” that “fellow citizens working in a campaign for president (Trump) welcomed help from Russia, including information that had been illegally obtained, that none of them acted to inform American law enforcement.” What sickens and appalls me is that Mittens is the only Republican sickened and appalled so far from what he read in the report. All Americans, including Republicans and Rudy should be disgusted by the actions of the Trump Campaign. But they’re not because they’re no longer Republicans or even Americans. They’re cultists.

Rudy went on to imply that Romney was a hypocrite because he wanted dirt on Obama during his presidential campaign. He said, “Man, if I could tell you the things Romney wanted to do,” regarding the 2012 presidential campaign. He said Romney needed to “stop the bull” and to “stop this pious act that you weren’t digging up, trying to dig up dirt on people, putting dirt out on people.”

After being pressed by Tapper, Rudy admitted he didn’t know if Romney had obtained any information from foreign governments, which means he didn’t. But, Rudy went on to say more stupid stuff like all the stuff Russia was hacking became available in every major newspaper, so it wasn’t wrong to use it.

Rudy needs to stop the bull. All the stuff the media was reporting on was obtained by a foreign government to help the Trump campaign. It only took the Russians five hours to start hacking into the Democrat’s systems after Trump publicly asked them to. The media’s access to the hacked material was only made available after it was published publicly by Wikileaks. The media was reporting about the material. Trump was using it politically.

The other nonsense from Rudy is saying any campaign would use illegally obtained material from a hostile foreign government. He makes this claim based on campaigns using dirt against their opponents. Yes, campaigns want dirt and they hire people to conduct opposition research. There’s probably not a campaign in American presidential history that hasn’t looked for dirt on their opponent. The difference here is that the Russians approached the Trump campaign and instead of contacting the FBI, they said, “I love it.”

I feel kind of bad for Jake Tapper and Fox News’ Chris Wallace (who also tangled with Rudy on Sunday). Trying to rationalize with Giuliani is like debating a Trump sycophant on social media. You’re quarreling with a tinfoil-hat-wearing fucknut who hasn’t even read William Barr’s four-page summary, less enough Mueller’s nearly-500 page report, yet they know every detail about it that doesn’t exist. At some point, you realize you’re not the dumbass whisperer and it’s actually not important what they believe. You can’t fix stupid. You’re totally free to leave the discussion and move on with your life. But poor Tapper and Wallace are in Giuliani’s presence and the only way to get rid of him before the allotted time is over would be to take a fire hose and spray him out of the studio.

Rudy’s mind went bye-bye a long time ago. Talking to him is like having your crazy grandpa over for Thanksgiving, then realizing that his ride, Grandma, left without him and she’s not answering her phone. And your aunts, uncles, and cousins aren’t any help because they all snuck out while you were trying to call Grandma. Quite frankly, I keep waiting for Rudy to show up for one of these interviews in nothing but tinfoil, a diaper, and a snorkel. No, I don’t know what the snorkel is for.

If you don’t think Rudy’s lost his mind, look at this exchange.

Giuliani: They couldn’t find a single piece of evidence for anything, hacking, dissemination.

Jake Tapper: There’s an entire volume of evidence.

Giuliani: There is an entire volume of stuff, of stuff, not of evidence.

Damn you, Grandma.

Now, every lawyer in American can counter by claiming the evidence against their client isn’t evidence, it’s stuff.

It makes you wonder what kind of “stuff” Rudy and the sycophants are smoking.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.