Mueller Report

Mueller Speaks


cjones06012019

Special Counsel Robert Mueller finally spoke and what he said without saying it is that Attorney General William Barr is a filthy, sycophantic liar helping Donald Trump engage in a PR campaign to mislead the American people.

Mueller doesn’t want to speak beyond yesterday’s quickie press conference, where he didn’t take questions, or testify before Congress. He said his testimony is in the report. Fox News and Trump cultist Sean Hannity asked, “if his testimony is in the report, then why did he speak?” My answer to Sean is, probably because the report has been misconstrued by William Barr, you sycophantic dillhole.

Mueller didn’t come out and say he disagreed with Barr, but his statements contradicted his boss (his boss until he officially resigns from the Justice Department, which he says he is now doing).

Barr said Mueller’s conclusions did not include a determination of whether Trump had committed obstruction of justice. Mueller stated, “If we had had the confidence that the president (sic) clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so.” They didn’t say so.

Barr said the Special Counsel’s decision not to reach any legal conclusions leave it to the AG to determine whether Trump committed a crime. Mueller alluded to Congress to make the determination and that their impeachment power is the constitutional arbiter (if you’re a Republican, “arbiter” means decision maker).

Mueller was clear in that he never intended to charge Trump because of the long-standing legal opinion of the Justice Department that a sitting president can’t be indicted. Mueller said Wednesday, “The Constitution requires a process other than the criminal justice system to formally accuse a sitting president of wrongdoing. Barr claims that in private meetings with Mueller, that Mueller said he would not claim Trump would have been charged with a crime if he weren’t the president. Barr stated last month, “He made very clear several times that that was not his position.”

One of these two men, Robert Mueller or William Barr is a liar. The liar is Barr.

The liar, Donald Trump, went batshit crazy this morning, and because he’s stupid, he inadvertently admitted Russia helped him win the election. Don’t you love that?

Trump accused Mueller of being “totally conflicted” and a “true never-Trumper,” as if that’s a bad thing. You can consider me a never-ever-ever-ever-ever-times-infinity-never Trumper.

Trump tweeted that he, “Had nothing to do with Russia helping me get elected.” That’s like saying, “I had nothing to do with the Russian hookers’ golden shower” before anyone told you “hooker” was plural (if you’re a Republican, plural means more than one).

Mueller explicitly stated that Russia sought to hurt Hillary Clinton and help Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. Trump claimed this morning that Russia didn’t want him to win and that they were trying to help Clinton. This defies not just Mueller’s statement but Vladimir Putin’s, who expressed he wanted Trump to win the election…while he was standing on the same stage with Donald Trump in Helsinki (if you’re a Republican, Helsinki is the capital of Finland).

Trump stated this morning that “impeachment” is a “dirty, filthy disgusting word.” No. what’s disgusting is the term “President Donald Trump.” No one becomes green from nauseation when hearing “impeachment.” It gives me a warm, squishy feeling that produces a glow.

Trump continues to claim he’s exonerated while Mueller stated that because of the Justice Department opinion, “Charging the president (sic) with a crime was therefore not an option we could consider.” In case you’re a Republican, that is NOT an exoneration. Someone tell Hannity.

Now, Mueller wants to go home without having to answer any more questions. That’s too bad. Mueller will speak before Congress and he should. There are still answers like, why didn’t you interview Donald Trump? Why didn’t you interview Donald Trump Jr? Why aren’t Donald Trump Jr, Ivanka Trump, and Hope Hicks in prison? Why didn’t you recommend charges like Ken Starr did to Bill Clinton? How is it even possible for someone as stupid as Donald Trump to have not killed himself yet from forgetting to breathe, let alone convince 62 million Americans to vote for his racist ass?

Mueller wants us off his lawn. I don’t see that happening any time soon. Mueller owes the American people answers for why he left us with a president who refuses to give honest answers.

Robert Meuller left an inept, racist, stupid, narcissistic, corrupt excuse for a human being as president of this nation. He doesn’t get to go home.

Mueller has ‘splainin’ to do.

Creative note: In May of 2016, I drew my first digital cartoon on my Surface Pro 4 (it was on George Zimmerman). Today, the 4 is retired and this is the very first cartoon on my new Surface Pro 6. This is kind of a big deal for me as my Surface has been, as my girlfriend puts it, an extension of myself over the past three years. I’ve drawn cartoons at home, in friends’ homes, girlfriend’s home (NOT plural), in coffee shops, restaurants, bars, hotels, and even on a train. I feel like I’m leaving behind a loyal friend. Let’s hope the new bigger, stronger, faster Surface is reliable and as good to me as the older, smaller, slower Surface. At any rate, they can both piss me off. The new one accomplished that feat within the first hour of owning it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Shave Your Toadyism


cjones05172019

William Barr is NOT acting as the Attorney General and is instead working as Donald Trump’s personal defender.

He deflected the Mueller Report. He held onto it for three weeks after he issued his misleading memo. When asked how Mueller felt about his memo, Barr lied and said he didn’t know despite having received two letters and one phone call from Mueller telling him that he didn’t like it. When I was a teenager, a girl’s father once threatened to shoot me if he ever caught me climbing into his daughter’s window again, but other than that comment I’m not sure how he felt about me.

Barr also quibbled when asked if anyone in the White House asked him to investigate the investigators. William Barr has engaged in a coverup and is now doing Donald Trump’s bidding, which is using the Justice Department to go after his political enemies.

The Justice Department is now investigating how the FBI conducted its investigation into Russia’s meddling and involvement in the Trump campaign. We’re now going after people for going after Russian spies.

Donald Trump promised during the presidential campaign that he would use the Justice Department to go after his political enemies. His first AG didn’t work out in that regard so he fired him to install a genuine toady in the position. This is where William Barr entered the picture.

Trump says we need to move on from the investigations into Russia. All investigations are bad except investigations into investigations.

We are now a banana republic without the bananas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Jr


cjones05132019

I can’t imagine Donald Trump being a hands-on father. I’m fairly confident the guy never did a 2:00 am feeding or changed a diaper in his life. He probably didn’t even know where the diapers were kept in his penthouse, other than the ones he has to wear himself. I definitely can’t see him playing catch with any of his kids. But maybe, if he and Jr go to prison together, they can form a little bonding time in the year.

Sometimes I wonder how Trump’s staff can’t prevent him from embarrassing himself, like when he publicly displays his lack of comprehension. Whoever read the Mueller Report to him didn’t do a good job of making him understand it.

After Donald Trump Jr was subpoenaed last week by the Senate Intelligence Committee, Trump griped to the media the unfairness of it all. He said the Mueller Report exonerated Trump Jr. It did not. In case you’re keeping score at home, Jr refused to give an interview to Mueller’s team. For some reason, they didn’t subpoena him.

While arguing the “exoneration” of Trump Jr, Daddy Trump referred to the report as “the Bible.” Again, he didn’t read the report as it contradicts not just Jr’s public statements about the Trump Tower meeting and having business interests in Russia, it contradicts his previous Senate testimony. In case you’re a Republican, that’s perjury. That can land Jr in prison. If the Mueller Report is “the Bible,” then Trumpy Jr should be going to prison.

Trump also argued that Jr shouldn’t testify again because he had already done so before the committee in private. That’s why he needs to testify again, because that first testimony was contradicted by the Mueller Report, you know, “the Bible.”

Donald Trump is an idiot and he passed it on to his idiot son.

Creative note: This cartoon may be too subtle. But, two out of the three people who saw it in its rough form really liked it, so I went with it. Sorry for the late Saturday cartoon, but I was doing stuff this morning, like sleeping.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Transparent President?


cjones05102019

For Donald Trump, claiming he’s the “most transparent president ever,” would be like saying you’re honest while stealing from a charity.

It’d be like saying you’re a great businessman and writing a book called “Art of the Deal” during a decade of losing over a billion dollars.

It’d be like saying, “I’m the least racist person ever” while building a racist vanity project to keep out brown people.”

It’d be like attacking a Congresswoman for antisemitism after you’ve retweeted Nazis.

It’d be like complaining about undocumented workers after you’ve hired undocumented workers.

It’d be like attacking Democrats for sexual scandals after you’ve paid women to keep quiet about your diddling them.

It’d be like complaining about antisemitism after you’ve called for a ban on Muslims, called someone “Pocahontas,” accused Black Lives Matter of being thugs, referred to nations where brown people come from as “shithole countries,” called Mexicans “rapists” and “murderers,” accused black women of being dumb, said a judge is unfit because he’s of Mexican lineage, referred to immigrants as “animals,” engaged in birtherism, or praised Nazis.

It’d be like saying you’ll only hire the best people then hiring your daughter, your son-in-law, Betsy Devos, Ben Carson, Rick Perry, Omarosa, William Barr, Jeff Sessions, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon, etc.

It’d be like saying, “I know more than the generals” while believing there are invisible airplanes.

It’d be like claiming you’re a great negotiator then after receiving an offer, negotiating yourself down to receiving nothing.

It’s like giving your opponents nicknames like “Crooked Hillary” and “Lyin’ Ted” then telling over 10,000 lies.

It’d be like saying you love America and you’re a patriot while ignoring that Russia meddled in our last election and is planning to do it again in the next one.

It’d be like saying, “I’ll own the shutdown,” then later saying, “They did it.”

It’d be like saying, “No one understands science more than I do” while believing noise from windmills causes cancer.

It’d be like complaining that Facebook’s bans on racists are a threat to the First Amendment while declaring there should be laws restricting a free press.

It’d be like complaining about “fake news” while retweeting conspiracy theories.

It’d be like saying you’re a “young and vibrant man” while looking like THAT.

It’d be like making fun of someone else’s hair while wearing a bleached mongoose on your head.

It’d be like questioning if Obama was born in the United States while lying where your father was born.

It’d be like complaining about someone not releasing their college transcripts while hiding your college transcripts.

It’d be like complaining about someone staging a hate crime after you’ve encouraged your rally attendants to assault black people.

It’d be like saying, “no one respects women more than I do” while grabbing them by the pussy.

It’d be like complaining about Antifa when your supporters are mailing bombs to Democrats and journalists.

It’d be like saying, “No one’s more presidential than I am” while you’re dry humping a flag.

It’d be like “writing” a book when you’re illiterate.

It’d be like saying you support our troops after you’ve said a POW is not a war hero and feuded with Gold Star families.

It’d like accusing Joe Biden of being creepy after you’ve stated that if you two weren’t related, you’d be dating your daughter.

It’d be like accusing Democrats of colluding with Russia after you invited Russians into your campaign headquarters.

It’d be like claiming you’re a family man after you had three divorces and children from three different women.

It’d be like saying you don’t support Nazis after you hired Stephen Miller.

Yeah, it’d be like that.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

I Get Snitty For CNN


CNN05052019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I wrote about this the other day so I don’t think I need to do it again. I went down the same path with my last cartoon on Barr. Instead, I’ll talk about creating it.

I asked CNN to be flexible weeks ago regarding the Thursday the Herblock ceremony fell on. I kept reminding them each week. We can go pretty late on Thursdays. I wasn’t able to do that last week.

Normally, I wait for them to be ready to work and I don’t contact them at all. last Thursday, I opened the conversation and got the ball rolling. I knew they’d want to do something on William Barr, snitty, and him being a no-show.

My hotel room wasn’t ready yet but I was there. The building the hotel is in also holds a common area for Georgetown University, the campus bookstore, and several dining establishments including a Starbucks. It also has horrible WiFi.

I started drawing at Starbucks which was great because I have several gift cards. I had one mocha, one coffee, and a bottle of water. At some point, I needed to pace around and I knew I would lose my awesome seat as the place was crowded. This Starbucks had a constant line. It was always long.

I moved over to the common area and the WiFi there was a little better. It was kinda cool to work in a busy environment where everyone around me was working on their laptops. Usually, when I draw in public, people look at me and often initiate a conversation. I don’t think anyone noticed me at Georgetown. Since the hotel and university are connected to the hospital, there were a lot of their employees around too. So, I wasn’t the only older guy there.

I got my idea approved by CNN around 2:00 pm and then I was notified that my room was ready. Then my friend Amanda arrived, who I had not seen in a few years. The cool part about having my idea approved is that the hard part was over. I didn’t have to think anymore. I could focus on preparing for the award ceremony.

I drew the cartoon Friday morning and completed it five minutes before I was due to check out. I had a lunch planned with the Herblock people, the winner Matt Davies and his wife Lucy, and Politico’s Matt Wuerker at the National Press Club. I told CNN that I was leaving my hotel but if there were any changes they wanted, to just let me know as there is a Starbucks about every seven feet in Washington.

I’ve been drawing on my Surface Pro for three years now and this is the first time I’ve taken it out of town and done work on it…which is one reason for it. It was kinda cool to pretend to be important because I had deadlines while being in Washington.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Snotty On Snitty


cjones05062019

While mucking around in Georgetown on Thursday, I popped into the campus bookstore and for ten bucks, bought a copy of the Mueller Report.

The only reason I had to purchase the thing is for posterity’s sake. I bought a copy of the Starr Report when it first came out too (and believe it or not, in the only conversation I ever had with him, Herblock told me to throw it away). I have already gone through Mueller’s report, but now I can at least grab the hard, OK, softcover copy for reference. And, I bought it despite one of the writers for the introduction being Alan Dershowitz, who has spent the past two years being a Trump sycophant.

From the introduction, it seems Dershowitz had read more of the report than Attorney General William Barr, who has proven to be nothing more than Donald Trump’s Roy Cohn.

Barr released a very flawed summary of the report weeks before releasing a redacted version. During his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Barr complained that Mueller’s objection to his description of the report was “snitty.” He also complained about the volume of material Mueller included in the report, probably because it created more stuff for Barr to lie about.

Barr also complained about the summaries Mueller included, saying, “I made it clear to him I was not in the business of putting out periodic summaries because a summary would start a whole public debate about its accuracy”, says the guy who wrote an inaccurate summary.

He complained about Mueller digging into “additional episodes” of Trump’s possible obstruction, which doesn’t matter since Barr had decided before he even took the job that Trump never obstructed justice.

He even insulted team Mueller. When asked by Senator Marsha Blackburn, “Do you consider these lawyers to be the best and the brightest in the field?” Barr replied, “Not necessarily.”

In testimony before releasing the report, Barr was asked if Mueller approved of his summary. He said he didn’t know. He lied. He knew Mueller was unhappy because he had received it in a written context. It was on the record. He had also talked to Mueller personally. He knew. Before the United States Senate, William Barr, the Attorney General of the United States, committed perjury.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi has also accused Barr of committing perjury. Republicans and the White House were upset with that. But then again, they also say you can’t accuse a president of obstruction when he commits obstruction.

Barr has not operated as the nation’s top lawyer and has worked more as Trump’s personal defender. If there’s any real estate left on Trump’s colossal ass that Sean Hannity has missed, Barr has it covered.

Barr should be impeached, or resign, or at the very least have his own colossal ass kicked by Robert Mueller. Maybe there are “13 angry” Democrats who’d like to join in.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Snitty Redactions


cjones05052019

Attorney General William Barr did not just mislead Congress and the American people. He lied. He is a liar and an obstructor helping the fraudulently elected president of the United States engage in a coverup.

Barr sat on the Mueller Report for three weeks but released a summary stating Mueller wanted him, as Attorney General, to determine if Trump had obstructed justice. After the report was released, we discovered he had misrepresented it and that Mueller intended Congress to make the determination of obstruction, not the AG.

During a Congressional hearing several weeks ago before he released the report, Barr was asked if Mueller agreed with his summary. Barr said he didn’t know. Barr lied. At that time, Barr knew Mueller didn’t agree with his summary.

Last night, we found out Mueller did NOT agree with Barr’s summary and was concerned with the way it was represented to the public. During today’s testimony before the Senate, Barr said Mueller’s chief concern was how the media was covering it. However, Mueller’s letter didn’t mention the media.

Barr was also perplexed as to why Mueller even wrote a letter instead of calling him to express concerns, appearing ignorant as to why the Special Counsel would want it in the written record that he disagreed with Barr.

Mueller wrote, “The summary letter the Department sent to Congress and released to the public late in the afternoon of March 24 did not fully capture the context, nature, and substance of this Office’s work and conclusions.” Mueller took the Attorney General to the woodshed.

He also wrote, “There is now public confusion about critical aspects of the results of our investigation. This threatens to undermine a central purpose for which the Department appointed the Special Counsel: to assure full public confidence in the outcome of the investigations.”

Barr described the letter as a “little snitty.” This sniveling shitweasel who’s acting at Trump’s personal attorney and defender, who has misrepresented and lied about the Mueller Report, thinks his letter is a “little snitty.”

How’s this for snitty? Mueller wrote, “Accordingly, the enclosed documents are in a form that can be released to the public consistent with legal requirements and Department policies. I am requesting that you provide these materials to Congress and authorize their public release at this time.” Barr did NOT release those at that time. He sat on them and instead released his shit-stained summary. Why? Because he’s helping Donald Trump engage in a coverup.

Barr was asked today when the president requested that Mueller be removed, how was that not obstruction of justice? Barr responded that asking Mueller be removed was not the same as asking for him to be fired. Seriously. I did not go to law school but I think the legal term for what Barr said is “bullshit.”

After the hearing, Trump suckup Lindsey Graham, Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee said that he will not call for Mueller or former White House Counsel Don McGahn to testify. He said the entire thing “is over.” Thankfully, the House is controlled by Democrats and we’ll probably see testimonies from Mueller and McGahn.

Barr is set to testify before the House tomorrow, but he’s refusing to go. His complaint is that the House will allow their lawyers to question him. Keep in mind, that when Christine Blasey Ford testified before the Senate, the GOP started the hearing by having a lawyer question her. Blasey Ford did not back down or refuse to go. She bravely confronted this line of questioning by a partisan professional prosecutor. Barr, who is a lawyer and the freaking Attorney General of the United States, is afraid of being questioned by lawyers.

Lindsey Graham and Republicans accused Democrats, specifically Senator Mazie Hirono, of slandering Barr and his reputation. You are not slandering a liar when you call him a liar. When you crawl up Donald Trump’s ass, nobody is slandering your reputation. You slandered it yourself.

And you smell like shit.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.