Democratic Party

The Voting Blue No Matter Who Blues


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

A friend and fellow cartoonist is having a major freakout over Joe Biden probably being the Democratic Party’s nominee. I’m using him as an example because he’s the perfect case of a liberal freakout.

My friend is being a baby over this. Sure, we should all fight for what we believe to be the best direction of our nation, but I think this guy, who is in his mid to late 50s, is being irrational and whinier than any millennial over not getting his way. The guy is creating new anti-Biden posts on Facebook on a near hourly basis. I also disagree with him on three major points: He doesn’t believe Donald Trump did anything wrong when he asked Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate Biden. He believes Joe and Hunter Biden are corrupt. And quite possibly the craziest one, there’s no difference between Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

While he does receive some resistance, he also has a lot of friends leaving comments who agree with him. Here’s where I disagree.

The Bernie Bros make the argument that it’ll be Democrats’ fault if Trump is reelected if they don’t make Bernie Sanders the nominee. Sure, a lot of whiners won’t vote for Biden because he’s too moderate or they believe he’s no different from Trump. But the Democratic Party can’t appease these people if they’re going to be irrational and with all due respect, stupid.

The argument here is if they don’t get what they want then they’re not going to help you, but you better give them what they want and then help them. That is, give them Bernie and then vote for Bernie against Trump, even though you feel about Bernie the way they do about Biden.

But even if you like Bernie Sanders, and I do, it’s ridiculous to believe a self-admitted socialist has a better chance of beating Donald Trump than a moderate.

I have a solution. Vote for the nominee no matter who it is. Bernie, Joe, vote blue. There is a difference between the Democratic nominee, no matter who it is, and Donald Trump.

If you don’t vote blue, then you’re allowing Trump to continue to appoint conservative fucknut judges, throw babies in jail, build a racist wall, ban Muslims from entering the nation, engage in further racist attacks and policies, build nationalism, starve poor children, destroy reproductive rights and further attack women, attack our allies, destroy NATO, hand South Korea over to North Korea while legitimizing Kim Jong Un, appease Vladimir Putin and ignore Russia’s attacks against our nation, slobber all over dictators, continue nepotism, enrich himself from the office, violate our environment while disregarding science, allow Iran to build nuclear weapons, increase the deficit while giving himself tax cuts, and install a government that serves Trump and only Trump.

And as displayed over the past two weeks while placing his ego over a pandemic hitting our nation, Donald Trump doesn’t know how to be president.

Voting for Donald Trump is voting for Kellyanne Conway, Mark Meadows, and Stephen Miller. It’s a vote to allow the worst people to run amuck over our government.

And you need to seriously ask yourself: Would you rather Ruth Bader Ginsburg be replaced by Joe Biden or Donald Trump? If you don’t think there’s a difference, then you’re dumber than I could ever give you credit for. You’re a special kind of stupid.

It doesn’t matter if the next president is Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders. What matters is that Donald Trump is no longer president. This nation can’t afford another four years of this.

Get over your vanity. Get over yourself. Grow up. Stop being an idiot and vote blue no matter who.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Lemony Bloomberg


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Someone said something close to “no one has ever lost as much money in one night in Las Vegas than Michael Bloomberg.” The guy has spent millions of his own money running for president only to be eviscerated by Elizabeth Warren.

While Warren successfully tore Bloomberg down, it doesn’t seem to have helped her with gaining delegates. Sure, her donations increased, but she’s still trailing nearly all the other candidates. It’s kinda like when Christ Christie destroyed Marco Rubio in a debate and the only person it helped was Donald Trump. Hell, Trump didn’t even make the guy his veep (which he expected) or give him a cabinet position. But I understand he did get some meatloaf and the opportunity to make fast food runs for Trump.

Yesterday, I made a post that Bloomberg is my top choice among the Democratic candidates…based upon my ability to caricature them. That confused people and sent many into a panic. C’mon, people. If I was going to vote based upon how easy it is to draw them and give me material, I’d be voting for Trump and would have voted for him in 2016. But there’s no way in Hell that I would ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever cast a vote for Michael Bloomberg.

Unless he’s the nominee against Donald Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Bloomy’s Slutty Slots


cjones02292020

Did I mention in the last blog after the debate that Michael Bloomberg had a lousy night?

It wasn’t just that Bloomberg got kicked in the teeth by Elizabeth Warren all night long, but that he wasn’t prepared at all. For example, at one point, he criticized Bernie Sanders for owning three homes despite being a socialist. At last count, Bloomberg owned at least 12 homes. In case you’re a Republican, 12 is more than three.

But it was Warren inflicting the most damage. If Bloomberg wasn’t a billionaire funding his own campaign, his campaign would be over. Bloomy didn’t just have to answer for his racist “stop and frisk” policy he enacted as mayor of New York City, but also for sexist comments he’s made at his business and for multiple non-disclosure agreements with female staffers.

Another great example of Bloomberg being unprepared was his defense of the NDAs as being for the protection of the women’s privacy. And as Warren pointed out, one of his defenses was that he’s been nice to some women. He also wasn’t prepared for Warren’s challenge to release all women from his company’s NDAs. Warren continued that challenge after the debate.

Elizabeth Warren used to teach contract law at Harvard. She crafted a release form for those who have signed NDAs with Bloomberg and his company and challenged him to sign it. She said, “”All that Mayor Bloomberg has to do is download it. I’ll text it. Sign it and then the women or men will be free to speak and tell their own stories.”

Yesterday, Bloomberg offered to release three women from their NDAs and free them to tell their sides of the story. Are these NDAs over harassment or discrimination at his company? Were they drawn up over the behavior of managers at his company or Bloomberg himself? At the debate, Bloomberg said, “None of them have accused me of doing anything, other than maybe they didn’t like a joke.”

That’s not good enough for Warren. She said, “Mike Bloomberg and his company should issue a blanket waiver so anyone who wants to come forward can come forward, with or without Bloomberg’s prior permission.” She’s right. Even the three releases he’s offered require the women to contact his company. Do those releases require other forms to sign? Do they need to sign an NDA to be released from their NDAs?

Bloomberg needs to “man-up” and offer a blanket waiver that doesn’t require those who have signed NDAs to contact or go through his company. Warren pointed out that we don’t know how many women have signed NDAs at his company. What do you want to bet it’s more than three?

At one of his racist fucknut rallies, Donald Trump said Bloomberg spent $500 million to be embarrassed by “Pocahontas.” Trump may want to pay more attention because what Warren is doing to Bloomberg is just practice for what she’ll do to him. I for one would love to see how she would respond to his racist slur while sharing a debate stage.

Michael Bloomberg’s presidential campaign is a loser and I don’t think he’s rich enough to make Democrats forget his debate performance. He’s not rich enough to convince Democrats that we need to replace an arrogant, sexist billionaire with another arrogant, sexist billionaire.

Instead of participating in the Las Vegas debate, Bloomy should have hit the casinos. Versus his presidential campaign, he would have lost a lot less money on the slots.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Sneaking On Pete


cjones02232020

Donald Trump is going to cheat in the next election. How do we know this? First off, because he’s Donald Trump and he’s a Republican. Also, he cheated last time, he’s boasted he’s going to cheat this time, he’s already doing it, and the United States Senate has given him carte blanche in lawbreaking.

Bernie Sanders is the front runner in the Democratic primary at this moment. The entire Republican plan in case he’s the nominee is to go after him for being a socialist. They’ll ignore that most democratic nations are social democracies where people are happier and instead, will use Venezuela as a comparison to his policies. Of course, they’re still going to cheat no matter who the nominee is.

But, what if Pete Buttigieg is the nominee? While Bernie is the front runner, Mayor Pete actually leads in delegates by one. Rush Limbaugh thinks all you have to do is point out he’s gay, has a husband, and will kiss his husband on a debate stage. While most Republicans may react as though voting for Buttigieg will give them cooties, the majority of Americans may not give a shit that he’s gay. How much mileage will the Trump campaign get going after a gay husband while they have a former porn star in the White House?

But like Sanders, Buttigieg gives Trump problems in that he’s an all-around decent human being.

Yeah, you can squabble about policy differences, but Pete and Bernie are genuinely good people, especially in contrast to a vile, racist, lying, stupid sack of crap like Donald Trump. Bernie has the same political stance today that he had in the 1960s. He’s a man who’s fought for civil rights and was arrested doing so. Mayor Pete is a veteran and Donald Trump is a draft dodger. The other problem with Pete for Trump is that he’s a moderate, like most Americans. The most liberal thing about Pete is that he’s in a gay marriage, and that’s not even that liberal anymore…unless you’re Rush Limbaugh. But then again, women voting is liberal to Rush Limbaugh.

Another problem for Trump is that Bernie and Pete are likable. Donald Trump is really only likable to people who think it’s OK to march with a tiki torch while chanting “Jews will not replace us.” People can relate to Bernie and Pete as people while Trump is more of a collection of vile personality traits than he is an actual person.

The Trump campaign is really going to have to make some shit up to run against Pete Buttigieg. But, fortunately for them, that’s really all they do. Maybe they can take all that crapola they gathered on Joe Biden and just insert Pete’s name. Does he have a son named Hunter? Even if they can’t find corruption on an opponent, Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani strongly believe that if you scream about corruption, it deflects from their own.

I doubt Pete has any business dealings in Ukraine so don’t be surprised if Rudy breaks into his house. If Pete is the nominee, it’ll be interesting to see how low the Republicans will go. I have faith in them.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Iowa


cjones02112020

Screw you, Iowa.

It’s not like you didn’t have time to prepare. Nothing snuck up on you because you’ve had the distinction of being the first state to vote since 1972. And you decided to use an app you had more difficulty navigating than an elderly man ordering Uber Eats.

The vote was Monday. It’s now Wednesday and we’re still not sure Pete Buttigieg is the winner. And, with your system, you don’t have to have the most votes to win the most delegates. So my question is: Can we be done with Iowa now?

Sure, let Iowa have caucuses or primaries or however they want to mess things up, but let’s stop allowing them to be the first in the nation.

We should remove this distinction because it’s a misrepresentation. It’s not a fair vote. A lot of people don’t have time to caucus. With a 90% white majority population, the state isn’t just non-representative of the Democratic Party, but also of the nation. I mean, with 90% white, they’re perfect to be the first GOP primary/caucus, but c’mon. And the candidates put all this focus, times, money, and so does the media, into something that doesn’t reflect most Americans.  Most of the state is rural so unless you own a tractor, it doesn’t reflect you. And on top of all that, it’s a Trump state that’s given us Steve King. Even the second state isn’t representative, as it’s 94% white.

I get that you want the first vote to be in a small state, so how about Maryland or Delaware? Or better yet, make the third state the first and let’s do it in South Carolina.

No candidate is going to make a case to move the first primaries from Iowa and New Hampshire because then they’ll definitely lose those primaries…which would take us a week to find out because nobody in Iowa can count votes.

Maybe the biggest argument to stop with Iowa is that allowing them to muck everything up is a horrible way to start a presidential race. It even allows the Republicans, who rigged their primary for Trump, claim the Democrats can’t run a primary.

So let’s have a vote to remove the first votes from Iowa…but let’s count those votes somewhere else.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Fun With White People


cjones01182020

A lot of people are pointing out that the most diverse field of presidential candidates in one party isn’t so diverse anymore. That was painfully obvious at last night’s debate in Iowa.

While there was still diversity on the stage with two women, one gay candidate, and one really old white Jewish guy, there was no ethnic diversity. Kamala Harris dropped out weeks ago. Cory Booker dropped out this week and he didn’t qualify for the last debate. Andrew Yang is still in the race but he didn’t qualify for last night’s debate.

Why would the party of diversity, whose supporters don’t go around marching with tiki torches chanting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil” disregard so many non-white candidates? And the way it appears to be going, the party is going to settle on a really old white guy, and not the Jewish one.

Seriously, Democrats. What’s up with that? At the very least, you could have supported one of the black candidates through the first primary.

While you and I can dig at the Democratic Party of letting us down on diversity, the people who can’t criticize are Republicans. Seriously, GOP. Look at yourself.

There is a serious lack of diversity in the Trump administration. The only black representation in the cabinet is Ben Carson and the highest ranking in the White House WAS senior adviser Omarosa. Seriously, Republicans? The two best Americans with a dark skin tone you could find in your party was Ben Carson and Omarosa? C’mon! Trump does have one Latino and one Asian in his cabinet, but do they count if one gave Jeffrey Epstein a sweetheart sentencing deal and the other is married to Mitch McConnell?

Every group photo that comes out of the White House has white upon white in it. And the funny thing is, nobody in the White House seems to notice. Each of those photos demonstrates that Donald Trump is not president for all of America and he has no desire to be. Donald Trump is only president (sic) for white America, and for that matter, only racist-white America. Who was he talking to when he said, “Send them back?”

Even in Congress, the GOP only has one African-American in the Senate and just one in the House (who’s retiring). While they do have 13 women in the House, the Democrats have 89 (in case you’re a Republican, 89 is a greater value than 13). The Republican Party talks a lot about diversity, but they’re only talking about it to their white members.

But tell you what, Republicans. Go ahead and crack on Democrats for their “lack of diversity.” I’ll let it go if you can tell me the last time your party made an African-American or a woman your presidential nominee.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Wine Cave


cjones12242019

If you had to Google “wine cave” after the last week’s Democratic debate, you’re not alone.

To reach the wine cave Pete Buttigieg and Elizabeth Warren quibbled over, The New York Times wrote that you “must navigate a hillside shrouded in mossy oak trees and walk down a brick-and-limestone hallway lined with wine barrels. And inside the room, the Times writes sits a “strikingly long table made of wood and onyx sits below a raindrop chandelier with 1,500 Swarovski crystals.”

Now I gotta Google onyx and Swarovski.

Warren went after Buttigieg for holding a fundraiser in a wine cave “full of crystals” where she said guests were served $900 bottles of wine. Andrew Yang said candidates should not have to “shake the money tree in the wine cave.”

The billionaires who owned the wine cave were perturbed over the candidates using them, their wealth, their ability to buy access to candidates, and their wine cave as an example of the wealthy’s influence of candidates. Why they have half a mind not to treat us to them selecting the next Democratic presidential nominee.

Craig Hall, along with his wife, Kathryn Walt Hall, owns the wine cave. According to Mr. Hall, his wife turned to him during the debate and said might go buy something for herself instead of contributing to another political campaign.

Now doesn’t it make you feel guilty for making the billionaires feel bad? The couple who have spent millions on political candidates might just take some of their millions and treat themselves instead this time around. I’m sure it’ll be the first time Mrs. Hall has ever purchased something for herself.

The Halls want us to know they’re not snobs and will support any of the candidates who snag the Democratic Party’s nomination, but that it’ll be really hard to vote for Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders. While Buttigieg points out the reality that the eventual nominee will need cash to counter the millions Donald Trump has been raising for 2020 since before his inauguration (he never stopped hold Trump rallies), the Hall’s dislike for the “socialists” in the party is very telling.

Warren and Sanders have campaigned partly on a message against billionaires. The billionaires who helped Buttigieg and others raise money have confirmed that they only support centrist Democrats and don’t want Warren and Sanders.

For starters, they talked about the wine cave.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.