Campaign 2020

Fat Broads And Horse-Faced Lesbians


cjones02272020

I wish men who have a history of calling women “fat broads” and “horse-faced lesbians” wouldn’t even bother with running for president because this was a nation that wouldn’t consider such a jackal for our highest office. Unfortunately, this is a nation where there are enough voters, with the help of Wikileaks, Vladimir Putin, and some ill-timed FBI announcements, to put a self-described “pussy grabber” in the White House.

The bar for expectations was lowered for Former New York City mayor and multi-billionaire Michael Bloomberg’s first presidential debate. It wasn’t lowered enough. But maybe he would have performed better if Elizabeth Warren wasn’t standing next to him because, within the opening minutes, his night was done. Warren engaged in a scorched-earth strategy last night and she didn’t take prisoners. If there was a bar lowered for Mayor Bloomy, she took it and beat his ass with it.

While every candidate on the stage, Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Amy Klobuchar, and Pete Buttigieg were determined to chip away at Bloomberg’s standing in the polls, it was Warren who drew blood.

Bloomberg was a late entry into the Democratic primary and wasn’t on the ballots in Iowa or New Hampshire. He won’t be on the ballots in South Carolina or Nevada. We’ll have to wait until Super Tuesday to see how he performs in an actual contest. But with the millions of his own money he’s been pumping into the race, he’s rising in the polls. In my state of Virginia, he’s responsible for over 99% of all political ads to this point of the 2020 campaign. Right now, you’re not going to see another candidate on the air in Virginia except for Donald Trump. It’s not just his face on television. Bloomberg is also hiring and building a huge campaign organization. In Colorado, for example, Bloomberg has a staff of 55. By comparison, the current front runner, Bernie Sanders, has two.

So, with Bloomberg spending big and building a campaign his rivals can only dream of, they each took their shots last night in Las Vegas. If it was a shooting gallery at the state fair, it was Warren who won the giant stuffed monkey as all her shots hit.

Warren hit Bloomberg for alleged sexist comments he’s made and non-disclosure agreements signed by former employees.

Warren started with, “A billionaire who calls women ‘fat broads’ and ‘horse-faced lesbians.’ And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.” Interestingly enough, Bloomberg didn’t defend himself or deny he made those comments.

About 40 minutes into the debate, it came back to Bloomberg who boasted of paying and promoting women equally in his company and said, “I have no tolerance for the kind of behavior that the #MeToo movement has exposed.” Warren shot back, “I hope you heard what his defense was: ‘I’ve been nice to some women.’ That just doesn’t cut it.”

Then Warren challenged him to state how many non-disclosure agreements were signed and to release all the women from the deals and allow their alleged accounts of harassment or discrimination to become public. Bloomberg didn’t release them last night and made a poor defense stating, “None of them accused me of anything other than maybe they didn’t like a joke I told.”

Bloomberg’s responses couldn’t have been worse for him if his opponents had written them.

A lot of people were tweeting that Elizabeth Warren killed Michael Bloomberg. In fact, for a minute, his Wikipedia page reflected that he had been murdered by Elizabeth Warren in Las Vegas, Nevada.

A statement by his campaign reflected that Bloomberg sucked the suckiest suck that ever sucked on a debate stage with, “He was just warming up tonight.” Dude, with all the money you spent, your campaign needs to bullshit better than that. But, he doesn’t have to warm up because he got roasted with Warren’s flamethrower.

Donald Trump tweeted, “Mini Mike Bloomberg’s debate performance tonight was perhaps the worst in the history of debates, and there have been some really bad ones. He was stumbling, bumbling and grossly incompetent. If this doesn’t knock him out of the race, nothing will. Not so easy to do what I did!” That is true. Donald Trump’s debate performances were stumbling, bumbling, and grossly incompetent, yet he stayed in the race. That wasn’t easy, what with all his debate performances being “really bad ones.”

But Trump unknowingly, like most things he makes, makes a point. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how poorly you perform in a debate. Donald Trump never won a debate in 2016. In fact, he never went through a debate without looking like a total, sexist, racist jackass who didn’t know shit about shit. Donald Trump went through 11 debates where all he talked about was making Mexico pay for a wall and the size of his penis (No, I’m not saying Mexico was going to pay to increase his penis size. They’d need something to work with). The one thing Bloomberg has going for him is that Americans may push aside past sexist comments and the fact he’s not a total freaking idiot like Donald Trump. And then there’s his money. While Donald Trump is a pretend billionaire, Bloomberg is an actual billionaire.

If Donald Trump had to produce a billion dollars in cash today, he wouldn’t be able to do it, even with all the stealing he’s doing from emoluments and from campaign donations. Meanwhile, Bloomberg is doing it as we speak. Elizabeth Warren even predicted it’s how he’ll recover from last night’s stinky debate performance.

She told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, “After his performance tonight, I have no doubt he is about to drop another $100 million … in order to erase America’s memory of what happened on that debate stage.” She’s probably right and it will probably work.

Of course, Donald Trump had something going for him in 2016 that Bloomberg doesn’t have today. Trump was in the Republican primary where “grab them by the pussy” or racist comments weren’t dealbreakers. If anything, they helped him with Republicans. Bloomberg is in the Democratic primary which is where the majority of women and minorities in this nation vote. Plus, Democrats have higher standards.

Michael Bloomberg is a former Republican who is a New York City billionaire who has made a lot of sexist comments and is a terrible presidential candidate. We already have that in Trump. But if Bloomberg emerges as the nominee, I’ll still be voting for Michael Bloomberg for president. I’ll probably be in the shower crying for the next three days afterward, but still…I’ll be voting for Bloomberg.

On another note, why isn’t “The Horse-Faced Lesbians” a punk rock band?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Sneaking On Pete


cjones02232020

Donald Trump is going to cheat in the next election. How do we know this? First off, because he’s Donald Trump and he’s a Republican. Also, he cheated last time, he’s boasted he’s going to cheat this time, he’s already doing it, and the United States Senate has given him carte blanche in lawbreaking.

Bernie Sanders is the front runner in the Democratic primary at this moment. The entire Republican plan in case he’s the nominee is to go after him for being a socialist. They’ll ignore that most democratic nations are social democracies where people are happier and instead, will use Venezuela as a comparison to his policies. Of course, they’re still going to cheat no matter who the nominee is.

But, what if Pete Buttigieg is the nominee? While Bernie is the front runner, Mayor Pete actually leads in delegates by one. Rush Limbaugh thinks all you have to do is point out he’s gay, has a husband, and will kiss his husband on a debate stage. While most Republicans may react as though voting for Buttigieg will give them cooties, the majority of Americans may not give a shit that he’s gay. How much mileage will the Trump campaign get going after a gay husband while they have a former porn star in the White House?

But like Sanders, Buttigieg gives Trump problems in that he’s an all-around decent human being.

Yeah, you can squabble about policy differences, but Pete and Bernie are genuinely good people, especially in contrast to a vile, racist, lying, stupid sack of crap like Donald Trump. Bernie has the same political stance today that he had in the 1960s. He’s a man who’s fought for civil rights and was arrested doing so. Mayor Pete is a veteran and Donald Trump is a draft dodger. The other problem with Pete for Trump is that he’s a moderate, like most Americans. The most liberal thing about Pete is that he’s in a gay marriage, and that’s not even that liberal anymore…unless you’re Rush Limbaugh. But then again, women voting is liberal to Rush Limbaugh.

Another problem for Trump is that Bernie and Pete are likable. Donald Trump is really only likable to people who think it’s OK to march with a tiki torch while chanting “Jews will not replace us.” People can relate to Bernie and Pete as people while Trump is more of a collection of vile personality traits than he is an actual person.

The Trump campaign is really going to have to make some shit up to run against Pete Buttigieg. But, fortunately for them, that’s really all they do. Maybe they can take all that crapola they gathered on Joe Biden and just insert Pete’s name. Does he have a son named Hunter? Even if they can’t find corruption on an opponent, Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani strongly believe that if you scream about corruption, it deflects from their own.

I doubt Pete has any business dealings in Ukraine so don’t be surprised if Rudy breaks into his house. If Pete is the nominee, it’ll be interesting to see how low the Republicans will go. I have faith in them.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Booty Judge


cjones02222020

Maybe Rush Limbaugh is conducting a social experiment to see if the world can feel sorry for a lump of crap afflicted with cancer.

During Donald Trump’s racist State of the Union address, he turned it into a game show by having his wife, Melania, place the Presidential Medal of Freedom around Rush Limbaugh’s neck. It had been recently announced that Limbaugh, a cigar smoker who denies smoking contributes to lung cancer, has lung cancer. Rush, who has a long history of racism, sexism, homophobia, and just outright hatred, was a special guest at the event along with retired 100-year-old brigadier General Charles McGee, a Tuskegee airman and veteran of three wars. Of course of the two, it was Rush leaving with the Medal of Freedom.

There’s been a lot of hatred expressed toward Rush with many liberals wishing death and suffering on the guy. But most liberals have put aside their animosity and wished him well and people who have survived cancer have said they don’t wish it on anybody. Well, Rush is testing their limits.

Rush returned to hate radio this week and he attacked Pete Buttigieg, former mayor of South Bend, Indiana and current presidential candidate. Rush didn’t attack his plans on healthcare, social security, foreign policy, ending government debt, immigration, etc. Nope. Instead, Rush’s focus was all on the fact that Mayor Pete is gay and he kissed his husband on a stage at a campaign event.

Buttigieg has wondered aloud in the past about how parents can explain President (sic) Trump to their children. I wonder how conservatives do that and how historians will explain it to students in the future. Rush turned it around and wondered how parents will explain Pete kissing his husband. I don’t know, Rush. How do you explain anybody kissing anybody? They’re in love? They’re together? They’re a couple? They’re married? It’s 2020 and we don’t explain this kind of stuff a lot anymore.

Rush said most Americans wouldn’t be willing to elect a gay man president. It is a legitimate question. No, not if a gay man can be a good president but if America will elect one. I like to think most Americans, especially Democrats would take at issue his experience, positions, and even his age before his sexual orientation. When I talk to fellow liberals about Buttigieg and the other candidates in the primary, him being gay rarely comes up…if ever. But then again, we’re not troglodytes like Rush Limbaugh. Even Donald Trump doesn’t think it will be that much of a factor.

But Rush didn’t just ask the question about this nation being willing to elect a gay man to the presidency. He had to go all-in with his homophobia.

Limbaugh said, “How’s this going to look, 37-year-old gay guy kissing his husband on stage next to Mr. Man, Donald Trump.” Donald Trump is “Mr. Man?” Again, Trump supporters see Trump in a way reality doesn’t. For them, Donald Trump is the epitome of masculinity. For me, I see an obese guy wearing too much makeup who’s afraid of rain and stairs. But I digress.

Rush continued with, “There may be some Democrats who think, ‘That’s exactly what we need, Rush. Get a gay guy kissing his husband on stage, ram it down Trump’s throat, and beat him in the general election.’ Really. Have fun envisioning that.”

I think Rush may be envisioning Pete kissing his husband, Chasten, a little too much.

Rush isn’t a fan of gay marriage. In the past, he said on the subject, “Marriage is a union of a man and a woman… This is about destroying an institution.” He also said about heterosexuals, “They’re under assault. You say, ‘Heterosexuality may be 95, 98 percent of the population.’ They’re under assault by the two to five percent that are homosexual.” He once said Barney Frank “spends most of his time living around Uranus.” He’s compared homosexuality to pedophilia and beastiality.

Rush, the great defender of the sacred tradition of marriage, has been married…wait for it…four times which is one more than Donald Trump (in case you’re a Republican, Trump has been married three times). Pete Buttigieg seems to be content to destroy marriage by doing it only once. How many hetero marriages does it take to cause as much destruction as one gay marriage? Has there been a study yet?

Pete Buttigieg marrying a man doesn’t destroy the tradition of marriage any more than Rush Limbaugh having sex destroys sex, though the image in your head might.

While ranting about Mayor Pete Buttigieg, Rush pronounced his name as “booty judge.” Yeah, that’s clever. It’s like Rush took a course on juvenile nicknames at Trump University. Trump himself has tweeted it as “Bootedgeedge,” which appears to be how it’s pronounced which tells me someone was writing it down for him before a rally where he mangled the pronunciation.

I don’t think Rush Limbaugh or Donald Trump, who are both fans of mocking people’s appearances, should talk about booty judges, less one appears and starts judging their asses.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Drinks For Democrats


cjones02202020

I’m tired of hearing how Donald Trump is the winner from the Democratic caucus and primary (technically, there’s only been one of each so far). Maybe I’m tired of it because I’m hearing it from the left and the right and there’s some truth to it. Ugh, right?

Of course, there’s going to be a fight for the nomination. They always start off sweet and pretty to each other before they turn vicious. Last time around, there were only two viable candidates for the Democratic nomination, and the party still hasn’t gotten over that war. People are still fighting it. For a comparison, look at the GOP which had 16 candidates. It got so hostile that one candidate made fun of another’s penis size. Today, they’re all in line behind Mr. small orange penis except for Jeb Bush, who I think has more of an issue with Donald Trump than his small, teeny tiny orange penis.

But then again, Democrats are more independent-minded than Republicans. Democrats have stronger convictions while Republicans would bet their mother’s Social Security check at the dog track. Republicans will fall in line easier, even if the nominee is a Russian-backed, pussy-grabbing, racist idiot who bullies children.

I think the Democrats shouldn’t be afraid of fighting each other right now. They just need to get over it once they have a nominee. That’s something they didn’t do in 2016. If Bernie Sanders doesn’t get the nomination, then his supporters, the Bernie Bros., need to get behind the nominee this time. Though, that may be hard if the party keeps working to prevent Bernie from getting the nomination.

Bernie got more votes in Iowa but left with fewer delegates than Pete Buttigieg. Bernie won New Hampshire but won just as many delegates as, once again, Buttigieg. Every pundit on TV is telling us that Bernie is the front runner, but a weak front runner. OK, but if Bernie is a weak front runner then what does that make all the other candidates?

I agree Bernie is a weak front runner in a large field where nobody has more than 30% support. And the primary is now going to South Carolina where Bernie doesn’t have much support, but he could rebound in the next primary, which is Nevada.

Because they have the money, Bernie and Pete will be in this fight until someone has 1,991 delegates. So far, only 65 have been allotted. The fight within the party is between the moderate wing and the socialists, Bernie and Elizabeth Warren.

Bernie and Pete are both struggling with black support. Joe Biden has struggled through the first two contests but is now betting it all on South Carolina, where has strong support among African-Americans, though that has dropped. If Biden doesn’t win South Carolina, it’s over for him. But a win may give him momentum into Super Tuesday. He can still win the nomination.

Warren is actually third in the delegate count, but she came in fourth place in New Hampshire, where she should have come in at least second. If Warren can’t sell herself to her neighbors, who know her better than the rest of the nation, then how is she going to win the nomination? Spoiler alert: She doesn’t. As she’s running out of money, the next two contests may be her last.

Amy Klobuchar had a strong third-place finish in New Hampshire, coming in ahead of Warren and Biden. She’s a friendly moderate that even Republicans kinda like. And, she promises that she has strong support among the six African-Americans who live in her state of Minnesota. The strong finishes will bring in more money and keep Klobuchar in the race, even though I doubt she can win the nomination.

Michael Bloomberg is rising in the polls but nobody’s cast a vote for him yet other than write-ins. With his money, he can totally win the nomination.

Andrew Yang dropped out. Tom Steyer, Tulsi Gabbard, Marianne Williamson, Deval Patrick, and Michael Bennett don’t stand a chance. Did you forget some of those people were candidates?

Meanwhile, Donald Trump doesn’t have any real primaries this time. He doesn’t have to debate. The only reason he’s even holding rallies right now is that they get him off. Hell, several states have even canceled their primaries, and in states that have done that like Virginia, Republicans can vote in the Democratic primary just to help mess things up even further.

But whoever wins the nomination would make a better president than Donald Trump. Yeah, even Michael Bloomberg. Hell, even Marianne Williamson and Tulsi Gabbard would make better presidents than Trump. But a rock that had been hit in the head by other rocks would make a better president than Donald Trump. That weird-looking poodle that won the Westminster Dog Show yesterday would make a better president than Donald Trump. Polls show that any Democrat will beat Trump nationally, but it’s on the state level where they will have problems.

I can only make one guarantee about the election and that is whoever wins the Democratic nomination is going to be someone you’re not going to be totally enthusiastic about. Democrats’ best hope may be that the greatest motivating factor for people to come out and vote Democratic is the prospect of four more years of Donald Trump.

Democrats and independents outnumber Republicans. They need to vote in the general election, and for whoever the nominee is, like the life of our nation depends on it, because it does.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Fun With White People


cjones01182020

A lot of people are pointing out that the most diverse field of presidential candidates in one party isn’t so diverse anymore. That was painfully obvious at last night’s debate in Iowa.

While there was still diversity on the stage with two women, one gay candidate, and one really old white Jewish guy, there was no ethnic diversity. Kamala Harris dropped out weeks ago. Cory Booker dropped out this week and he didn’t qualify for the last debate. Andrew Yang is still in the race but he didn’t qualify for last night’s debate.

Why would the party of diversity, whose supporters don’t go around marching with tiki torches chanting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil” disregard so many non-white candidates? And the way it appears to be going, the party is going to settle on a really old white guy, and not the Jewish one.

Seriously, Democrats. What’s up with that? At the very least, you could have supported one of the black candidates through the first primary.

While you and I can dig at the Democratic Party of letting us down on diversity, the people who can’t criticize are Republicans. Seriously, GOP. Look at yourself.

There is a serious lack of diversity in the Trump administration. The only black representation in the cabinet is Ben Carson and the highest ranking in the White House WAS senior adviser Omarosa. Seriously, Republicans? The two best Americans with a dark skin tone you could find in your party was Ben Carson and Omarosa? C’mon! Trump does have one Latino and one Asian in his cabinet, but do they count if one gave Jeffrey Epstein a sweetheart sentencing deal and the other is married to Mitch McConnell?

Every group photo that comes out of the White House has white upon white in it. And the funny thing is, nobody in the White House seems to notice. Each of those photos demonstrates that Donald Trump is not president for all of America and he has no desire to be. Donald Trump is only president (sic) for white America, and for that matter, only racist-white America. Who was he talking to when he said, “Send them back?”

Even in Congress, the GOP only has one African-American in the Senate and just one in the House (who’s retiring). While they do have 13 women in the House, the Democrats have 89 (in case you’re a Republican, 89 is a greater value than 13). The Republican Party talks a lot about diversity, but they’re only talking about it to their white members.

But tell you what, Republicans. Go ahead and crack on Democrats for their “lack of diversity.” I’ll let it go if you can tell me the last time your party made an African-American or a woman your presidential nominee.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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The Iran Card


CNN01052020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Donald Trump has made it clear his assassination (and yes. It was an assassination) has nothing to do with anything except his impeachment.

Donald Trump can’t stop his impeachment because it’s already happened. He and his supporters just don’t seem to understand that part yet. Donald Trump is an impeached president.

And once again, Donald Trump projects. As soon as he claimed Obama would start a war with Iran to get reelected, we should have known he’d start a war with Iran to get reelected. I’m telling you, I think the guy was born in Kenya.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Wine Cave


cjones12242019

If you had to Google “wine cave” after the last week’s Democratic debate, you’re not alone.

To reach the wine cave Pete Buttigieg and Elizabeth Warren quibbled over, The New York Times wrote that you “must navigate a hillside shrouded in mossy oak trees and walk down a brick-and-limestone hallway lined with wine barrels. And inside the room, the Times writes sits a “strikingly long table made of wood and onyx sits below a raindrop chandelier with 1,500 Swarovski crystals.”

Now I gotta Google onyx and Swarovski.

Warren went after Buttigieg for holding a fundraiser in a wine cave “full of crystals” where she said guests were served $900 bottles of wine. Andrew Yang said candidates should not have to “shake the money tree in the wine cave.”

The billionaires who owned the wine cave were perturbed over the candidates using them, their wealth, their ability to buy access to candidates, and their wine cave as an example of the wealthy’s influence of candidates. Why they have half a mind not to treat us to them selecting the next Democratic presidential nominee.

Craig Hall, along with his wife, Kathryn Walt Hall, owns the wine cave. According to Mr. Hall, his wife turned to him during the debate and said might go buy something for herself instead of contributing to another political campaign.

Now doesn’t it make you feel guilty for making the billionaires feel bad? The couple who have spent millions on political candidates might just take some of their millions and treat themselves instead this time around. I’m sure it’ll be the first time Mrs. Hall has ever purchased something for herself.

The Halls want us to know they’re not snobs and will support any of the candidates who snag the Democratic Party’s nomination, but that it’ll be really hard to vote for Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders. While Buttigieg points out the reality that the eventual nominee will need cash to counter the millions Donald Trump has been raising for 2020 since before his inauguration (he never stopped hold Trump rallies), the Hall’s dislike for the “socialists” in the party is very telling.

Warren and Sanders have campaigned partly on a message against billionaires. The billionaires who helped Buttigieg and others raise money have confirmed that they only support centrist Democrats and don’t want Warren and Sanders.

For starters, they talked about the wine cave.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Feel The Endorsements


cjones10232019

Hillary Clinton doesn’t have to do anything newsworthy for Republicans to obsess over her. They haven’t stopped talking about her on a daily basis since 2016. Donald Trump’s not over her and continues to tweet and talk about her at his hate rallies. Last week, I saw at least three cartoons by Republican political cartoonists, and that was before news about the investigation into her server came out. But after her comments on a podcast hosted by former Obama adviser David Plouffe, even Democrats are going a bit bonkers.

On the podcast, Clinton said Russians may be using a current Democratic presidential candidate to swing the 2020 election to Donald Trump, much like they used Jill Stein in 2016. She didn’t name the candidate she referred to as a female, but everyone knows she’s talking about Hawaii representative Tulsi Gabbard.

Clinton said, “I’m not making any predictions, but I think they’ve got their eye on somebody who is currently in the Democratic primary and are grooming her to be the third-party candidate.” Gabbard responded by calling Clinton “the queen of warmongers, embodiment of corruption, and personification of the rot that has sickened the Democratic Party for so long.” In the process, she failed to deny it.

While a lot of Democrats are defending Tulsi, calling Clinton’s attacks unfair on a veteran and sexist, many believe Clinton’s comments are important and provide a warning for the nation. I do too.

The New York Times published an article last week titled, What, Exactly, is Tulsi Gabbard up to? In the article, they point out how she’s co-opted the Republican conspiracy theory that the Democratic Party is “rigging” the primary with help from the media, and how she’s become a star of alt-right internet stars, white nationalists, and Russian bots.

Gabbard has received praise from Steve Bannon, white nationalist Richard Spencer, Trump-loving televangelist Franklin Graham, Libertarian Ron Paul, and far-right conspiracy theoriest Mike Cervonich.

She’s become popular on 4chan where right-wing trolls and anti-semites call her “mommy,” and The Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi website that endorsed Donald Trump, takes credit for her qualifying for the first two Democratic debates. The Kremlin-backed Russian news outlet RT can’t stop talking about her. Additionally, there appears to be a Russian-bot campaign promoting her on Twitter.

While she hasn’t actually rejected any of that support, she finally snagged one endorsement that she felt she did have to denounce. That was the endorsement of former Grand Wizard David Duke. Gabbard said, “I have strongly denounced David Duke’s hateful views and his so-called ‘support’ multiple times in the past, and reject his support,” and tweeted, “U didn’t know I’m Polynesian/Cauc? Dad couldn’t use ‘whites only’ water fountain. No thanks. Ur white nationalism is pure evil.” Nevertheless, Duke changed his Twitter page banner to a picture of Gabbard with text reading, “Tulsi Gabbard for President. Finally a candidate who will actually put America First rather than Israel First!” Whether she likes it or not, Tulsi has been coopted like the Confederate flag.

Tulsi’s first media appearance in attacking Clinton didn’t help kill the impression that she’s fishing for far-right, conspiracy-loving, right-wing support, as it was Tucker Carlson’s show on Fox News.

Donald Trump also attacked Clinton, but mostly for her claims that Jill Stein is a Russian asset. Trump, the Russian asset, defended Stein from being a Russian asset and encouraged a third-party candidacy.

Only an idiot can’t see what David Duke, Donald Trump, Tucker, 4-chan, RT, The Daily Stormer, and Russian bots are doing. While Gabbard has rejected a third-party candidacy, if she were to run, it would probably give Donald Trump four more years.

Personally, I think when Nazis start supporting you, you should go home.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Fat Head Rolls With The Polls


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Donald Trump does not like bad news. When the media reports facts in opposition to his trumpism, he labels it as “fake news.” He says the free press is the enemy of the American people. He tells his cult not to believe what they see and hear. But how does he deal with bad news when it comes from his own people? He pretty much does the same thing.

This week, internal polling from the Trump campaign leaked to the press showed that Trump was losing to Joe Biden, often by double digits, in several states. It even has him losing in Florida, Texas, Georgia, and North Carolina.

The results were confirmed by advisers to The New York Times. Trump called them “fake polls,” even though they came from his campaign. After they were leaked, Trump fired three of the five pollsters.

So, did Trump fire them because of the leak or did he fire them because of the results?

Trump’s base is stupid and they don’t ask questions of Trump. They’ll never correlate that the poll results Trump is calling “fake” are from the Trump campaign. But, is Trump’s belief in his own lies the reason the poll results were leaked?

Trump doesn’t read. If the polls are bad and deemed “fake,” then he’s not going to read them. Perhaps leaking them is a way to get his attention. Apparently, it worked.

Campaigns don’t leak internal polling. When a reporter points out negative polling to a campaign surrogate, they’ll usually respond that their internal polling shows more positive results without ever revealing the polls and substantiating their claims. It’s an old cop-out that has been done by Republicans and Democrats.

What’s particularly odd about the denial of the internal polls and storm around them is that they’re old. They were taken last March. Four months is a very long time in politics, especially in a presidential campaign, one with over 500 days left. Trump doesn’t even have his opponent yet. Trump and his team could have confirmed the polls existed but they didn’t matter now because they’re old. They could have lied and said new internal polling is showing much better results, even if they don’t have new polling. That’s what his campaign manager, Brad Parscale did, but not Trump. Of course, in doing so, Parscale contradicted Trump’s lie.

In addition to denying the polls existed, he also denied he instructed aides to deny them. That is an admittance the polls exists. How do you deny you didn’t instruct anyone to deny something that doesn’t exist? Trump told ABC News, “I just had a meeting with somebody that’s a pollster and I’m winning everywhere, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Usually, people don’t know what Trump’s talking about.

Don’t forget, Republicans always tell you not to believe in polls. They argue that they’re always wrong. They also point at 2016 as proof the polls were wrong. If polls are always wrong, then why are they upset over polls?

The fact is the polls weren’t wrong in 2016. The election result was in the margin of error for most polls. Predictions on who would win were wrong. There is a difference.

It took a perfect storm of a Democratic candidate voters weren’t excited with, racists enthusiasm, a little push from the FBI, and a lot of meddling by Russia for Trump to win the presidency. And the majority of voters still voted against him. Can the Democrats blow the election and give Trump a second term? Sure they can. They’re Democrats. But Trump has never been above water with polls in his entire political life. He’s always been below 50%.

He has a head start as the incumbent. He’s been raising money and holding rallies since the election, even before he was sworn in. Trump has never stopped campaigning for president. The biggest liability Donald Trump has to win a second term is that he’s Donald Trump.

Trump doesn’t like bad news. Even bad news that’s not very significant 18 months before the election. Hopefully, he gets a lot of bad news on election night. Then we can all enjoy watching his fat head roll.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Who Wants de Blasio?


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Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

New York City mayor Bill de Blasio is considered one of the most boring mayors in NYC history by his constituents. If you’re not inspired and excited over Joe Biden, well here comes de Blasio.

de Blasio is not a fan of the press, which is not unusual considering his “local” press is in New York City. But, he holds a belief that the media is supposed to be his ally and when they report facts he doesn’t like, then they’re misleading or inaccurate. He also likes to boast of accomplishments that are not his and often for those that don’t even exist. Does that sound like another New Yorker you know?

Neal Kwatra, a Democratic operative who has worked with de Blasio since his Council days said, “Early on there was an imperiousness. It continued that way. He sort of sees reporters as almost colleagues and fellow operatives in the game of politics and there’s a little bit of ‘I know better than you.'”

de Blasio, a liberal in a very liberal city, won a second term in 2017, yet his constituents are mocking his presidential run.

Queens Assemblyman and Democrat Ron Kim said, “I think there’s a lot of hypocrisy behind his actions and I think in a place like New York people see right through it.”

Former Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein tweeted, “On the bright side, if DeB gets elected prez, we New Yorkers will lose his undivided attention a year ahead of schedule.”

Tina Fey said, “Me doing stand-up is like Bill de Blasio running for president, except I would figure it out because I’m not the worst.” How about that. Tina Fey and Donald Trump agree on something. After de Blasio’s announcement, Trump, the worst president in the history of any nation you can think of, said de Blasio was a “joke” and the “worst mayor” the city ever had. Some people point out good things that have occurred during his two terms, like crime being at a record low, but nobody really believes that has anything to do with him, which is much like the success of the nation’s economy not having anything to do with Donald Trump.

Many New Yorkers believe there are several issues in their city that need resolving before de Blasio runs for president. There’s not really a good reason for Bill de Blasio to run for president except that Bill de Blasio wants to be president.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.