Trump Lies

Trump Train Trolls


cjones12032017

Back in the old normal, journalists never referred to a politician as a liar. They were either wrong, mistaken, misinformed, misspeaking, or incorrect. That changed with Donald Trump as the man continues to repeat lies after being told they’re lies. Trump and his sycophants don’t just lie where you can say it’s their viewpoint. They lie to the extent that they choose their own facts. Kellyanne Conway even referred to them as “alternative facts.” That puts us into the new normal where it’s not unprofessional to state that the president is a liar. That rule also applies to calling him a troll.

A troll is a person who throws something into a conversation in order to deflect or distract you from the topic. Trump does that, but he also trolls to make people upset. He totally hijacks athletes in the NFL peacefully protesting racism, and turns into something disrespecting Americans who serve in our military. The hypocritical thing about that is Trump has disrespected people in our military.

He attends a ceremony honoring members of the Navajo nation who served in World War II, and he throws out a racist jab at Senator Elizabeth Warren. Later, his defenders like Sarah Huckabee Sanders says the biggest outrage should be directed toward Warren for lying about her heritage. Never mind the fact that Trump has lied about his heritage (he claims he’s Swedish when he’s actually German), or that Warren wasn’t at the ceremony or a topic for discussion at the event. When you bring up Trump’s racism, Warren’s heritage is not relevant. It just changes the subject.

He attacks Democrats and liberals accused of sexual abuse despite the fact he’s had multiple accusers, and he’s currently endorsing a pedophile for the Senate. That’s serious trolling.

Since it’s the Christmas season, let’s not exclude how he brags about how we’re saying “Merry Christmas” again. He actually has his supporters associating him more with that phrase than Jesus Christ. And, when have people ever been afraid or discouraged from expressing it or when was has it ever been outlawed? The guy creates problems where there isn’t one. It still distresses me that white conservatives claim victimization where it doesn’t exist. Trump is their hero.

This week, Trump tweeted out videos made by Britain First, a racist and anti-Muslim group. A group whose leader was charged with assaulting a Muslim woman and her children and a supporter murdered a Member of Parliament.

Apparently, there’s not enough Klansmen and Nazis in America for Trump to support that he has to extend his racism to Europe. There should not be a debate on whether Trump is a racist. The president of the United States is a racist.

The videos Trump tweeted out were Islamophobic created with the intention of increasing hatred toward Muslims. The details Britain First claimed in the videos can’t be confirmed, with one of them being an outright lie. That video is titled, “Muslim migrant beats up Dutch boy on crutches!” It does indeed show one boy attacking another on crutches. However, the attacker wasn’t an immigrant or even a Muslim. He just had darker hair.

This upset, not just Americans, but our allies in the United Kingdom. Prime Minister Theresa May condemned Trump’s tweeting of hate. Trump replied in a tweet, “don’t focus on me, focus on the destructive Radical Islamic Terrorism that is taking place within the United Kingdom. We are doing just fine!,” which was tweeted at Theresa May. Unfortunately, but not surprising, he tweeted it at the wrong Theresa May. The guy is too busy stirring up shit to do any research, like noticing this Theresa May only had about 60 followers. I’m not a genius, but I think I’d question why the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom only had 60 followers.

Sanders said we are focusing on the wrong detail by talking about how the videos are fake, and that the threat is very real. They need a lie to illustrate a real threat. Keep in mind these are the people who scream about “fake news.”

Trump is also hawking his tax cut plan without knowing the details. But, he knows enough that it’s going to make him and his spawn of trolls even richer. That doesn’t prevent him from lying that he won’t benefit from it personally, or that many of his rich friends are upset with him over it. Have you heard any of his rich friends complain about this proposed tax cut? Trump could prove it won’t benefit him if he’d only show us his tax returns.

Just like his blame if there’s a government shutdown, Trump will pin the failure of this “tax cut” on Democrats even though Republicans control both houses in Congress and the Presidency.

Now, there is talk that Trump still believes in birtherism, that the investigation into his meddling with Russia will be over by January, and that his voice on the Access Hollywood tape, which he has apologized for, isn’t his voice. He’s not just a troll. He’s an insane troll.

We have a racist, insane, trolling president. Many members of Parliament don’t want him to visit the UK. Who can blame them? We don’t want him here.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Advertisements

The Generous Degenerate


cjones09042017

Donald Trump has pledged to donate $1 million from his personal fortune to help the victims of Hurricane Harvey. Pardon me while I remain skeptical.

Why would anyone be so cynical to doubt a president’s promise of a donation to help hurricane victims? We wouldn’t be skeptical if George W. Bush or Barack Obama made that promise. We have to be skeptical of Trump because while he lies about most things, when it comes to donating money, the man is a miser.

First off, during his birther campaign, he promised to award $5 million to anyone who would produce Obama’s birth certificate. Of course, he didn’t pay up when Obama finally did release his birth certificate. Offering $1 million to disaster victims, 80% less (I think. I draw, I don’t do math) than what he offered for the birth certificate, shows that Trump puts a higher value on his racism than on hurricane victims. He would rather spend his money on evil than good.

Trump’s defenders will argue that he’s generous not just for this donation, but that he’s not taking a salary while serving as president. If we were to pay Trump his actual worth for the job he’s doing as president then the man owes us money. Also, his vacations and weekly trips to his golf resorts are costing us a hell of a lot more than his salary. If he really wanted to help the victims of Harvey then he would nix his plan of cutting $876 million from FEMA’s disaster relief account, $200 million from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration programs that help coastal states brace for future storms, and a $2.6 billion cut to the Environmental Protection Agency, among others. He could also help out the Secret Service by not charging them rent and for lodgings while they’re protecting him and his crooked offspring.

Even if Trump does donate a million bucks, the victims and the entire nation would be better served by fully funding the programs that can actually help. But again, that’s a big “if” he actually donates his own money.

Trump likes to make donations from his foundation, The Trump Foundation. But, that’s not his money. Trump has not donated to his foundation since 2008, and The Washington Post can only identify $3.9 million in charitable donations since 2001 from Trump’s own pocket. In contrast, Bill and Hillary Clinton have donated over $23 million of their own money between 2001 and 2015.

Trump brags about his charitable giving when it’s almost always coming from the Trump Foundation, which again, is not his money. It’s from other donors. On top of that, Trump has used the foundation to settle legal bills for his businesses, donate to a political candidate in Florida who was considering investigating Trump University and to buy gifts for himself, like portraits of Trump. I really hope he doesn’t send a million bucks worth of paintings of himself to the Harvey victims. They have enough shit to deal with.

During the campaign, Trump skipped a debate while having a tantrum, and held a fundraiser for veterans instead. He only paid up after the press questioned him about it…repeatedly.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who has taken over from Sean Spicer as Trump’s official liar and his own personal Baghdad Bob, bragged about the donation, but couldn’t answer when asked if it would come from Trump or the foundation. Where do you think the money would come from if it ever came, if the “fake news” media wasn’t asking about it?

On top of all that, one million out of Trump’s supposed billions is a pittance. It’s a much smaller percentage of his wealth than a ten dollar donation would be coming from you or me.

You can donate to the flood relief and take pride that you’re more generous than Donald Trump…but that would be a very low bar to set for your generosity.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Perjury Happens


cjones06122017

Other than playing poker with Donald Trump, I really wanna start farming. I’m going to start a popcorn farm. How do you grow popcorn? I don’t know much about farming. I know you need things like seeds, and dirt and probably a tractor, and you have to wear overalls and live in Iowa with a scarecrow to ward off ghost baseball players, and that’s about all I know about farming. I thought pineapples grew on trees until I moved to Hawaii.

The reason I want to start farming popcorn is that if Donald Trump testifies in a court or a deposition, and they televise that shit, people are going to be eating a lot of popcorn. I could be something Donald Trump isn’t, and that’s an actual billionaire.

Donald Trump and his team say James Comey is a liar. Well, there’s our first lie. The second one came from Sarah Huckabee-Sanders who said: “the president is not a liar.” You might want to be careful with the moment you’re trying to swallow the popcorn as there’s a very real danger of choking if you try to swallow while Trump or one of his sycophants is dropping a whopper. Eat with a friend who knows the Heimlich or is really good at tickling. Does tickling prevent choking? Don’t choke while around me. You will die.

Most of Trump’s problems are his own creation. He fired Comey and then boasted he did it because of the Russia investigation. He then trolled Comey by threatening that their conversations may have been taped, which led to Comey dropping his memos to the press, which led to a special counsel being appointed. It’s like Trump is taking a crap while walking backward.

On Friday, Trump said he’d be willing to testify under oath to give his version of his conversations with Comey. That had to make his lawyer drop a load. Trump is going to testify that he never asked Comey about dropping the Flynn investigation, or that he never asked for his loyalty? Oh goody.

Trump argued that he would never ask Comey for his loyalty because you don’t do that with a stranger. I suppose he knew every attendee on a first name basis at this Vermont rally, or perhaps at this rally in Orlando. Trump didn’t mention anything about the independence of the FBI director from the president, just that he wouldn’t ask loyalty from someone he barely knows. That must mean Trump requires a loyalty oath from everyone he associates with. And seriously, if you’re the type of person who pledges an oath to a guy who eats burnt steak with ketchup, then you’re going to remain hopeless and lost.

Trump would not reveal if he actually has tapes or not, but he did promise that he would let us know “over a short period of time.” He also said we’ll be very “disappointed” which may inadvertently be true because he’ll probably reveal it like he revealed his taxes, or proof that Obama wasn’t born here, or that press conference Melania was going to hold to prove her citizenship.

There are no tapes, and if there are then they don’t support Trump’s version of events or he’d have released them already. They would have come out at 3:00 a.m. without his staff or lawyers receiving an advance notice. “The president is not a liar and there are no tapes…what’s that you’re listening to…aw crap.”

At this point, it almost doesn’t matter if there’s any collusion between the Trump and the Russians, or even his campaign. That’s because a special counsel can indict on anything he finds connected to his investigation that’s illegal. If Trump testifies he’s committing perjury. If you build it, he will lie.

Trump is one of those people who can’t not lie. If Trump talks in his sleep, then every word of that would be a lie. It’s part of a condition when you speak without thinking or speak without knowing anything, but his real problem is that he’s insane. He’s also a narcissist so he believes anything he says has to be true, just because he’s infallible. If it’s not true before he said it then it’s true because he said it. Trump lies about stuff that’s not even important, like how many times he’s been on the cover of Time Magazine or that it wasn’t raining during his inauguration speech. Trump lies so much that he’s having a hard time finding a decent lawyer to represent him (the fact he often doesn’t pay them hurts too).

It doesn’t matter to Trump or the GOP that his approval rating is at 34% as long as his base believes his lies, and they do. They believe Obama was born in Kenya and he wiretapped the phones in Trump Tower. They believe Trump had the largest electoral victory since Reagan. They believe Trump had the largest inauguration crowd in American history. They believe Trump is more honest than Hillary Clinton. They believe the NFL sent him a letter objecting to him debating while a game was on. They believe he opposed the Iraq war. They believe he never mocked a New York Times reporter. But believing something doesn’t make it true. Trump sycophants’ beliefs don’t change the fact that Obama was born in Honolulu, or that more people (legally) voted against Donald Trump than for him.

Now Trump has bullshitted his lying ass into testifying, which is something no lawyer wants their client, especially a narcissistic lying client, to do. And if Trump testifies, it’s not going to be “if”, it’s going to be “when” he commits perjury. In a 2007 deposition, Trump was caught lying 30 times. If Trump testifies under oath before the special counsel, he will commit perjury. He is incapable of telling the truth.

Get the popcorn ready.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Shaking With Spicy


cjones03312017

A lot of journalists have pity and sympathy for White House Spokesman Sean Spicer. He has to be confronted by the national press corps on a daily basis and defend lies and crazy crap.

Sure. You can have some sympathy for people who work for Donald Trump. You’re surrounded by a lot of creepy people. But it’s probably not so much of a problem if you’re a creeper yourself. No one with any personal ethics or morals would be willing to work for Donald Trump.

I don’t have any sympathy for Spicer. Nobody is forcing him to give up his dignity for this horse shit. His very first press conference only covered the size of the inauguration, and the entire ordeal was lie after lie. It was a litany of bullshit. That’s all we’ve had ever since.

When asked who cleared Congressman Devin Nunes (chairman of the committee investigating Trump’s connections with Russia) to enter the White House, Spicer acted as if he was totally ignorant on the procedure for entering the White House. He gave this performance from inside the White House. It’s not like just anyone without any good reason can walk into the…oh never mind. I’ve forgotten about the knuckleheads who are there presently.

During Tuesday’s presser Sean Spicer denied that the White House sought to block former-acting attorney general Sally Yates from testifying before Nunes’ committee. This despite The Washington Post having the letters that proved the Trump administration did indeed seek to block her from testifying (this is why you need to subscribe to a real newspaper, people).

During the press conference Spicer lost his cool and went after American Urban Radio Networks reporter April Ryan. He disagreed with her assessment that Trump has a Russia problem. He said they didn’t, and that the press “has the Russia problem” and during this exchange, he told Ryan to stop shaking her head.

First off, you do have a Russia problem. An FBI, Congressional, and Senate investigations says so. Plus, everyone in your administration has some weird tie to Russian diplomats, ambassadors, oligarchs, and gangsters. Second, how dare you talk down to an adult working in a professional capacity like that. This is the White House press room, not kindergarten. It’s not her job to pander to you.

Some compared Spicer’s treatment of Ryan, who is black, to the ludicrous racist crap Fox News talking head Bill O’Reilly did the other day. While airing footage of Representative Maxine Waters he compared her hair to a James Brown wig. His defense that it wasn’t racist is that he likes James Brown. Also, according to conservative logic you’re not a racist if your jam is “When Doves Cry.” All that racist crap makes conservatives feel good.

Unlike O’Reilly, Spicer wasn’t being racist. He was simply being a dick. He’s treated everyone in the press corps like that except for correspondents for outlets like Breitbart.

Another great line that came out of the presser was when Spicer said “If the president puts Russian salad dressing on his salad tonight, somehow that’s a Russian connection.” I seriously doubt the president eats salads.

Hey look. I made it through a post about Sean Spicer without referencing The Thompson Twins’ “Lies, Lies, Lies, Yeah.” Oh crap.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Girl, You Know It’s True


cjones01262017

Donald Trump is a liar.

You can’t trust or believe anything Trump tells you. That goes for his deceitful minions too.

Despite a long track record of lying years before he started his presidential campaign voters believed Hillary Clinton was less honest than Trump. Twenty years of a smear campaign against her was very effective and took its toll. Even to the point that this nation elected a conman over her. What does that say about the rest of the Republican field of candidates in the primary?

PolitiFact found that 70 percent of Trump’s statements during the presidential campaign were false. For Clinton, they only found 26 percent.

Trump lied for years about Obama not being born in the United States. He promised he had evidence. A few days before the election he finally admitted Obama was born in the United States. Exhibiting further signs of his narcissism, Trump didn’t admit he was wrong. Instead he blamed the Democrats for starting birtherism and gave himself credit for the great service he did for President Obama and the nation by putting the birther thing to rest. He probably used money from his charity to buy himself a trophy for the accomplishment.

He lied about Ted Cruz’s father being involved in the JFK assassination. He lied about seeing thousands of Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 9/11. He claimed the Mexican government was intentionally sending criminals into our country (Castro did that though). He said the unemployment rate was 42%. He lied when he said Obama was accepting 200,000 refugees from Syria. Who can forget his lie about being against the Iraq war?

The only time Trump has ever admitted he lied was when he said he never did those things he said he did on that tape about assaulting women. So either he was lying on that taped bus ride, or he was lying about lying. My head is starting to spin.

In the first few days of his presidency he’s lied about the numbers at his inauguration, and in an attempt to prove his legitimacy as president, is now claiming that millions of illegal voters cost him the popular vote. He even has his soulless flying monkeys going out to defend and repeat his lies. Trump spokesman Sean Spicer was actually asked at a briefing if he’ll ever intentionally tell the public falsehoods. He lied when he said no.

Politicians lie. Nixon lied when he said he wasn’t a crook. Reagan lied about Iran/Contra. Bill Clinton lied when he said “I did not have sex with that woman.” Each of those lies were to save their political careers. Trump lies because he’s pathological. Trump himself may not even be able to tell the truth from a lie. He often accuses a fact of being a lie.

What is the purpose of all these “alternative facts” other than protecting Trump’s eggshell fragile ego? It’s a distraction. While we’re asking about the stupidity of crowd sizes, his administration is installing gag orders on federal employees. He’s issuing executive orders like crazy on stuff from Obamacare, the Dakota Access Pipeline, a funding ban to foreign groups that provide abortions, directing funds to his border wall and a crackdown on “sanctuary cities,” to declaring his inauguration day as “a Day of Patriotic Devotion.” That last one will make North Korea jealous they didn’t think of it.

I wonder if Trump put a gag order on everyone who criticized Obama for his executive orders because I haven’t heard a thing from those people this week.

Trump is a liar and the press is doing what they can to hold him accountable, all except Joe Scarborough. The New York Times actually used the word “lie” in a front page headline for a Trump story. Usually the press handles that sort of thing more delicately, but Trump has opened the flood gate for these things. Now that the press is holding him accountable, will you?

Creative note: It’s not everyday I get to use a Milli Vanilli joke in a cartoon. And if you’re too young, or too old, to know who they were then that makes me sad.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Boobs For Trump


cjones09242016

Donald Trump is such a con man he had Don King, a fellow con man, speak at one of his events this week.

Anyone who criticizes the Clinton Foundation should stop unless they also include the Trump Foundation in their faux outrage. Conservatives accuse the Clintons of using their foundation to enrich themselves while Trump uses his to buy himself expensive mementos. Quite frankly, the guy shouldn’t even be using money meant for charity to buy himself Mentos.

Trump jilts people for money to pay off other people he jilted. He has used over a quarter-million dollars to pay off legal trouble involving his for-profit businesses. This is a man who has bragged about using other people’s money.

In one case Trump’s snooty Mar-a-Lago Club faced $120,000 in unpaid fines from the town of Palm Beach, Fla., resulting from a dispute over the height of a flagpole. The town offered to waive the fine if the club made a $100,000 donation to a veterans charity. Trump took the money from the Trump Foundation. Yes, that money from a charity went to another charity, but the club was fined, not the charity. That’s the move of a con man.

Trump also used money from the charity to pay for advertisements for his clubs. Why? Because he’s a con man.

In another case one of Trump’s golf clubs held a hole-in-one contest. There was a winner but the club said the ball had to travel a designated distance to qualify for the hole-in-one, but Trump’s club moved all the holes shorter of the required distance. Talk about a shell game. Trump lost the lawsuit and spent $128,000 of the charity’s money to pay it off.

In other instances Trump has used the foundation to purchase a painting of himself at an auction where the winning and only bidder was his wife. For some weird reason there wasn’t a rush of people who wanted a $10,000 painting of Donald Trump in their home. That’ll give the children and small animals nightmares. He’s also used funds from his charity to purchase a Tim Tebow football and a Florida Attorney General. We’re not sure how much or where the money came from to purchase Chris Christie.

Why does Trump do this? Because he’s a con man. He’s a liar. He’s shifty. He’s a crook. At this time he’s using his campaign to make money for his businesses. He’s charging his campaign and the Republican party fees for renting his offices at Trump Tower and his Trump jet. When the GOP took over the funding for his campaign the rent for his offices increased. Go freaking figure. Con man!

Trump has also conned people with his Trump University. Now the ultimate achievement is conning the entire nation to make him president. There are a lot of suckers out there.

Most rich people who have charitable foundations actually donate money to them. Oprah Winfrey has put millions of her own money into her foundations. The Clintons have too. Trump hasn’t donated to his charity since 1998. He and his surrogates talk about how charitable he is but we won’t know unless we see his tax returns.

These sort of traits, flaws, in a man asking us to trust him with the most important job in the world should be important to voters. The stupid ones don’t care.

I don’t know if Melania Trump has had a boob job. I’m using creative license. There’s been speculation Ivanka, Trump’s daughter, has had one. I’m not sure if Donald, herself, or a charity paid for those things but the good news is, Chris Christie’s moobs are all natural.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!