Trump Lies

Classified Lies


cjones06212020

You can’t say Donald Trump isn’t qualified for the presidency because a lot of people wrote books about how awful he is. Every president has had that. But no president has been criticized as much or as harshly as Donald Trump has been by people who worked for him.

While Donald Trump can call them all sorts of names and question their credibility, they’re his people. The guy who promised he’d hire the best people chose them. These are not Democrats.

You might look at Omarosa and think, “Yeah, she’s nuts” But what do you think when Anthony Scaramucci goes after him? What about Rex Tillerson, who called him a “fucking moron?” How about the generals, James Mattis and John Kelly? Are they all wrong?

Now, John Bolton’s book is about to hit the shelves and the media has already read it. The Trump administration has attempted to block it in court by claiming it’s full of classified information…that are lies. If John Bolton is lying, then why do you want it classified? Does that make sense? In case you’re a Republican, it does not.

John Bolton is not perfect. He’s their guy. He is a war hawk who should have voluntarily testified during the impeachment. Instead, he wanted all his juicy bombshells saved for his book so he’d have a nice payday.

Yes, it’s a patriotic thing exposing Donald Trump and the dangers he presents to this nation. No, it’s not patriotic to hang onto the information so you can profit.

The one big takeaway from the book that is not new is Donald Trump isn’t qualified to be president and he’s a terrible person only focused on himself. He loves dictators. He lies. He doesn’t know anything. He’s extremely stupid. That’s all in the book and none of it’s a surprise. What is new are the details. Some of them show he’s dumber than we thought…and more dangerous.

In the book, Bolton claims Donald Trump “pleaded” with Xi Jinping, the Chinese president, to buy more American farm products to help his chances of reelection. You could think that’s a lie except we have him on record asking other nations to help his reelection. This also exposes that Donald Trump doesn’t care about farmers. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump.

The book shows he’s stupid. He asked if Finland was a part of Russia. Spoiler alert for Republicans: It’s not. He was also surprised the United Kingdom is a nuclear power. In case you’re a Republican, it is. Could these be lies? Donald Trump has already revealed how little he knows about…stuff. He doesn’t understand the differences between the United Kingdon, Britain, and England. He’s opened his mouth and proven that.

Bolton claims Trump was eager to intervene in Justice Department investigations to help foreign corporations in dictator-led nations like Turkey. Bolton said for Trump, “obstruction of justice was a way of life.”

President Xi told Donald Trump he’d owe him a “favor,” (there’s that word again) if he could lighten penalties and sanctions against a Chinese company. It worked, the penalties were lightened and a ban on buying American products for the company was lifted.

The book is more proof Donald Trump is stupidly dangerous. And you know, I’m not a fan of Bolton. He did the unpatriotic thing by refusing to testify unless subpoenaed. But if you’re still supporting Donald Trump despite all this evidence of how bad he is for the nation, then you’re less of a patriot than John Bolton.

There are two truths here: John Bolton knows a lot more about government, diplomacy, and foreign relations than Donald Trump. We may not like Bolton’s positions as he wants to invade everyone, but he knows his shit. Donald Trump doesn’t know anything except how to get pornstars to sign non-disclosure agreements and how to bankrupt casinos.

The other truth is, John Bolton is not known to be a liar. Sure, his judgment sucks. He did work for Fox News and George W. Bush. But he’s not a liar, at least not on any public record I’ve seen. On the other hand, Donald Trump is a huge liar. All Donald Trump does is lie. So when Trump says we can’t trust Bolton…yeah.

There’s another book on the way I’m sure will be presidential (sic) tweet-worthy. Donald Trump’s niece, Mary is writing a book on what a horrible person her uncle is. But I’m more excited about a potential book by Rex Tillerson.

I would gladly pay $25 for a book on Donald Trump titled, “Fucking Moron.”

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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MAGA Inside You


cjones06192020

As it turns out, there is a cure for anything that ails you. Don’t look for it.

Donald Trump has the answer to the coronavirus. He said, “If we stop testing right now, we’d have very few cases if any.”

That means if you don’t weigh yourself, then you didn’t put on any pounds during the pandemic. Sure, you haven’t seen your penis in four months, but that’s probably just a little water bloating…or better yet, it fell off. Better as in, if you’re a Republican, you people need to stop breeding.

But, ya’ know…even stupid probably know it’s not the pregnancy test that gets you pregnant. That baby’s coming whether you test or not. And the same is true with the coronavirus…or any disease.

Donald Trump actually believes we would have fewer cases if we stop testing for the coronavirus. He is really desperate for the numbers to go down. Now, is that more to help his reelection or is it just because he wants to get out and stand before adoring fans and ramble like your crazy uncle? Yes and yes, even if it kills you. Donald Trump doesn’t care about you.

Even Mike Pence is in on it, arguing cases are going down in Oklahoma (where they are not going down), where Trump will have his first post-pandemic rally this Saturday. Pence even wrote an op-ed for The New York Times (which Trump says is failing yet they’re writing columns for) where he claims talk of a second wave of the coronavirus is “fear-mongering” by the media. But it’s the federal government, the one Donald Trump is executive of (sic), that warns of a second wave. The media is reporting. Pence has also encouraged governors to repeat the administration’s lie that testing leads to more cases and said, “Most of the cases where we are seeing some marginal rise in number, that’s more a result of the extraordinary work you’re doing.” Do what?

Does that mean if Donald Trump still has syphilis from the 1980s because he never tested for it, it’s because of some “extraordinary work?”

It’s not that simple (not the syphilis thing). According to that failing newspaper, The New York Times, in at least 14 states, positive cases have outstripped the average number of tests that have been administered.

It is a head-in-the-sand strategy. Hey, if it works for ostriches then it should work for Republicans.

The Trump administration shut down two websites on open government and removed 40,000 data sets from another. For several weeks, the administration blocked the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from issuing its guidelines for reopening.

In Florida, the Republicans in charge of the state fired the head of its virus-data website after she objected to the removal of records showing people had symptoms or positive tests before the cases were announced.

In Georgia, Republicans reorganized the state’s data in ways that made things look better than they were.

In Arizona, the Republicans attempted to stop the running of models showing the virus spreading.

In addition to all that, the administration and right-wing propaganda sites have spent the past few months telling us the deaths from coronavirus are exaggerated. These are the same people trying to argue that the cop’s chokehold wasn’t responsible for killing George Floyd.

Fighting a pandemic is hard work which is why Donald Trump and other Republicans don’t want to do it. It’s extremely difficult to take on a task if you don’t understand it. It’s hard to tackle a complex problem when you’re a fucking moron. You know, the kind of fucking moron that asks if drinking bleach will kill the virus.

And Donald Trump is wrong. There will not be fewer cases of the coronavirus if we simply stop testing. Just because Donald Trump is ignorant of something, doesn’t mean it’s not out there. An example of this is the world of stuff Donald Trump has displayed he knows nothing about.

If ignorance truly was bliss, Donald Trump would be the greatest president we’ve ever had.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

The Pusher Provocateur


cjones06122020

The reason Donald Trump is NOT my president isn’t that I don’t like him or disagree with his politics. George W. Bush was my president and I didn’t like him. Donald Trump is not my president because he’s not a president.

Donald Trump hasn’t taken one moment to be presidential. I found it funny that he and his campaign promised he would be presidential after he was inaugurated which was an acknowledgment he wasn’t presidential and instead was behaving like an immature narcissistic toddler with major insecurity issues because his parents didn’t love him. On top of not being presidential, Donald Trump doesn’t even pretend he wants my support. He caters to the most racist and vile of America. He also caters to the most stupid.

Say what you will about George W. Bush and his lie to get us to invade Iraq, but even he didn’t push the lie that Iraq funded al Qaida or attacked us on 9/11. Make no mistake, that lie was spread by others and the Bush administration didn’t do anything to kill it. In fact, they went out of their way to avoid it with Dick Cheney going so far as to say he could see why some Americans would believe Iraq attacked us on 9/11, without saying whether it was true or not. They were bastards but even those bastards didn’t want to be on the record pushing baseless conspiracy theories. Being a person of low moral fiber and void of ethics and principles entirely, Donald Trump has no qualms about spreading bullshit.

Donald Trump has spread a lot of bullshit. Some more harmful than others. His first act as president (sic) was to send Sean Spicer out to lie about crowd sizes. While that lie and the ones about illegal voters might make you roll your eyes, his conspiracy theories about Obama wiretapping Trump Tower and the FBI engaging in a deep state coup only helps Russia. His attacks on Joe Scarborough being a murderer is sickening. And like after each of these stupid attacks, you think he can’t get any worse knowing full well he will. He did.

Yesterday, he tweeted a conspiracy theory that Martin Gugino, the 75-year-old man Buffalo police shoved to the ground during a protest was really an “antifa agent provocateur.” Yup. Donald Trump, who was probably inspecting the bunker behind the new fence and soldiers surrounding the White House when he sent that tweet, was pushing a conspiracy theory that originated on the dark web.

Donald Trump got the conspiracy theory from One America News. Even when Sean Hannity pushed the Seth Rich conspiracy theory, it was on his stupid opinion show and not part of an actual news story on Fox News. OAN, just like your crazy tinfoil-hat wearing uncle who lives in your grandmother’s attic you’re forced to see every Thanksgiving, does not know the difference between propaganda and news. That explains why Donald Trump watches it.

Trump tweeted, “Buffalo protester shoved by Police could be an ANTIFA provocateur. 75 year old Martin Gugino was pushed away after appearing to scan police communications in order to black out the equipment. I watched, he fell harder than was pushed. Was aiming scanner. Could be a set up?”

Previously, ONA pushed a conspiracy theory that Covid-19 was an effort by Bill Gates, George Soros, China, the Deep State in population control. What’s more fucked up than that is the President (sic) of the United States watches it. Of course, this is the same guy who thought the National Enquirer should have won a Pulitzer Prize and its chief should become the publisher of The New York Times.

The reporter who pushed this story on OANN is a Russian who has also worked for Sputnik, a Kremlin-controlled news outlet. Sputnik is just one of Russia’s weapons used to attack American elections. OANN is not a legitimate news organization which explains why they actually have a reporter at White House press briefings who is often called on by Press Secretary, Kayleigh McEnany to ask questions like, “Is it alarming that major media players, just to oppose you, are consistently siding with foreign state propaganda, Islamic radicals, and Latin gangs and cartels? And they work right here at the White House with direct access to you and your team?” Scooch over, Hannity. There’s a new burrower for Trump’s sphincter.

Where did OANN get this stupid conspiracy theory? You’ll be glad to know it’s not from 4chan or Qanon. Nope. It’s from Conservative Treehouse, the new 4chan. It’s still a home for tiki-torch Nazis wearing that racist frog symbol on their T-shirts.

Spreading this shit is dangerous. I bet you believe antifa is instigating riots and most protests aren’t peaceful. Republicans are pushing that shit despite there not being any facts to base it on. Now, the fucknuts will believe a victim of police brutality was an agent of antifa while not realizing there is no antifa organization. The real irony here is that every single one of these pushers of conspiracy theories, including Donald Trump, are “useful idiots” for Russia and are acting as…wait for it…agent provocateurs.

As usual, very few Republicans condemned Donald Trump’s tweet. Mitt Romney called it “shocking” while the rest of the Republican Senate pretended they hadn’t seen it. Cowards.

Yesterday, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said, “President Trump did a tweet today that surprises me — even after all the tweets that he has done.”

Cuomo added, “What do you think, it was staged? You think the blood coming out of his head was staged? Is that what you’re saying? You saw his head hit the pavement, you see blood on the pavement. He should apologize for that tweet, because it is wholly unacceptable. Show some decency, show some humanity… you’re the president of the United States.”

The only thing I disagree with Governor Cuomo on is that he called Donald Trump “President Trump.”

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Twitter Vs. Twitler


cjones05312020

For Donald Trump, persecution is having the standards everyone else has to live by being applied to him.

And here’s the thing: That hasn’t even happened in this situation.

Lori Klausutis was a staffer to then-Congressman Joe Scarborough when she suddenly died from a heart problem which made her hit her head on a desk in the Florida district office for the congressman. Scarborough was in Washington at the time. There has never been any evidence of foul play. But, just like the Seth Rich conspiracy theories MAGAts and the 4chan crowd like to spread, they’re using the death of Ms. Klausutis to engage in attacks against one of their Dear Leader’s political enemies, Joe Scarborough who is now the host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe. And guess who’s joined in?

Donald Trump has used the death of Ms. Klausutis for his own political gain. After being super chummy with Scarborough and his wife, Mika Brzezinski (who used to visit Mar-a-Lago, help him with debate prep, and gave candidate Trump more airtime than anyone), Trump became a target of their criticism since shortly after his inauguration when Joe and Mika suddenly realized Donald Trump is a fucking moron. Donald Trump has been attacking and bullying the couple ever since.

On May 12, Donald Trump tweeted, “When will they open a Cold Case on the Psycho Joe Scarborough matter in Florida. Did he get away with murder? Some people think so. Why did he leave Congress so quietly and quickly? Isn’t it obvious? What’s happening now? A total nut job!”

On May 27, Donald Trump tweeted, “Psycho Joe Scarborough is rattled, not only by his bad ratings but all of the things and facts that are coming out on the internet about opening a Cold Case. He knows what is happening!”

Donald Trump has accused Joe Scarborough of murder and of having an affair with Lori Klausutis. Donald Trump is a piece of crap.

Mr. Klausutis’ widower, Timothy Klausutis wrote a letter to the head of Twitter, Jack Dorsey, citing the pain that Trump’s “horrifying lies” about his wife’s death have caused him and the family, and asking Dorsey to remove Trump’s tweet. Twitter refused to remove Donald Trump’s tweets because they’re cowards.

These tweets from Donald Trump are more than lies. They’re slander and defamation. These are the kind of things a person gets sued for. These are the kind of tweets that violate Twitter’s policy. If you tweeted asking if someone got away with murder, who isn’t a murderer, Twitter would not just remove that tweet. They would delete your account. But Donald Trump gets away with it because he’s president (sic) of the United States and Twitter is afraid of his followers.

So, to save some of their face, Twitter put a fact check on two of Donald Trump’s tweets lying about mail-in voter fraud. Donald Trump flipped out and cried that Twitter was “stifling his freedom of speech.” Of course, that’s a lie too because your speech isn’t being stifled when someone points out your lies. Twitter hasn’t even removed his “speech.” Even if Twitter removed all of his tweets and deleted his account, his free speech still wouldn’t be violated.

Twitter is a private company. If McDonalds told Donald Trump they would never sell him a hamberder ever again, that would not deny him access to hamberders. Other companies sell hamberders. Donald Trump can make his own hamberder. McDonald’s can’t even deny him access to their Big Mac special sauce because it’s just Thousand Islands salad dressing. If Twitter killed Donald Trump’s account, Donald Trump can still tell lies in other venues…like on Morning Joe which he used to call into on a daily basis.

Donald Trump is too stupid to be president (sic).

Donald Trump was so enraged by the fact check that he didn’t mention the milestone of 100,000 deaths from the coronavirus. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump.

Now, Donald Trump is threatening to “regulate” or shut down Twitter and other social media platforms. Ironically, that would be stifling freedom of speech. There’s also the irony of fighting Twitter by tweeting at Twitter.

Later today, Donald Trump is going to sign an executive order that mandates a review of a law that shields companies like Twitter, Google and Facebook from being held liable for the content appearing on their platforms. Uh…so he doesn’t want Twitter to be protected from allowing him to post lies and slander?

Think about it because Donald Trump hasn’t: If Twitter isn’t protected by dumbass bullshit, lies, conspiracy theories, slander, and defamation posted on their platform by orange racists, wouldn’t that mean Donald Trump’s Twitter account would then be deleted or heavily edited?

This is like taking his ball and going home, but Donald Trump doesn’t own the ball and unfortunately, he’s not going home. He’s going to stick around and make everyone else miserable with his whining.

Of course, this is just one great big morbidly obese bluff. Donald Trump has NO authority to restrict free speech, to regulate, or shut down social media platforms. And, Donald Trump without Twitter would be like Donald Trump without his orange face paint, or Donald Trump without the long red tie, or Donald Trump without the ill-fitting suits he buys off the rack despite having his own line of suits, or Donald Trump without the dead yellow ferret on his head, or Donald Trump without Nazis, or…etc, etc.

And what kind of president issues an executive order only to defend himself? This action is only because his feelings were hurt. This executive order doesn’t have anything to do with protecting anyone except Donald Trump. While the Trump cult and Republicans label liberals as “snowflakes,” they are the most vicitimed and whiny people on the planet. Their leader is such a snowflake that he’s issuing an executive order because his feelings were hurt. In case you’re a Republican, THIS is why there’s a great big giant Trump Baby balloon. And the worst thing is, Twitter hasn’t even restricted him. He can still lie and defame people on Twitter without any empathy.

Donald Trump has more empathy over Twitter putting a fact check on his lies than he does for the family of Lori Klausutis having to suffer through his defamation.

It took Donald Trump two months to kinda-sorta realize the coronavirus was real and not a “Democratic hoax,” but only two days to issue an executive order about Twitter slapping his tweets with a fact check.

I am amazed anyone can even consider voting for Donald Trump. It’s been proven he’s an idiot. He’s not a great negotiator. He’s not a great businessman. He didn’t build the formerly successful economy we had. He hasn’t rebuilt the military. He has totally bungled a pandemic with over 100,000 deaths which he does not care about. He has only expressed concern for himself.

And right now, Donald Trump can’t do anything about Twitter. But if he’s reelected, what’s stopping him? Today, Donald Trump is trying to be a dictator. If he’s still president in January 2021, he becomes a dictator and he’ll probably own Twitter by force.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Blue State, Red State, Corrupt State


cjones05242020

A couple days ago, I wrote Donald Trump and his administration of goons aren’t even trying to hide his corruption anymore. In firing Inspectors General in the midst of investigations, they don’t even give good reasons. Donald Trump said he fired the guy investigating his Secretary of State Mike Pompeo because he lost the guy’s confidence. Pompeo only defended it by saying he should have been fired long ago and that he didn’t know he was under investigation. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. When it’s the fifth IG fired in five weeks, yeah.

That’s some morbidly obese bullshit.

Now, Donald Trump is threatening to stop all federal funding being sent to states that may not vote for him. That’s not exactly what he said but he’s doing a terrible job of hiding his corrupt intentions.

Michigan and Nevada are upping their plans for mail-in voting in order to decrease the risk of exposing their voters’ lives to the coronavirus. Well, Donald Trump doesn’t give a lick about anyone’s safety and like all Republicans, he realizes the more voters who participate in an election, the worst Republicans fare. The majority of people in this nation vote for Democrats. That’s a fact. Republicans don’t like that fact so they work to prevent people from voting except for the most racist and whitest of us.

Donald Trump tweeted his outrage at Michigan for mailing ballots to all their voters. Dumbass tweeted, “This was done illegally and without authorization by a rogue Secretary of State. I will ask to hold up funding to Michigan if they want to go down this Voter Fraud path!”

Except, that was some morbidly obese lying. Michigan’s Secretary of State mailed “applications” to voters, not ballots. Donald Trump claims what Michigan did is illegal. It’s not. So, two lies in one tweet. Good job, Donald. While explaining this to the press, he dropped another lie in that he was once Man of the Year in Michigan. He was never Man of the Year in Michigan. Maybe he’s confused because he resembles the Michelin Man.

What Donald Trump is doing is threatening to hold a state hostage by denying federal funding…during a pandemic. It’s kinda like holding Ukraine hostage by denying military aid during a war.

He went after Nevada in another tweet saying, “State of Nevada ‘thinks’ that they can send out illegal vote by mail ballots, creating a great Voter Fraud scenario for the State and the U.S. They can’t! If they do, ‘I think’ I can hold up funds to the State. Sorry, but you must not cheat in elections.”

The man who solicited election help from Russia and Ukraine is concerned about cheating in elections.

Trump is very upset over mail-in voting and keeps screaming about voter fraud, even though there isn’t any evidence to support it.

Trump told reporters, “I think just common sense would tell you that massive manipulation can take place. And you do have cases of fraudulent ballots where they actually print them and they give them to people to sign, maybe the same person signs them with different writing, different pens. I don’t know. It’s a lot of things can happen.”

Where, when, what? Where have there been “fraudulent” ballots that were “actually printed” then “given to people to sign?” This guy also claimed once that you need an I.D. to purchase cereal.

Donald Trump himself actually voted by mail, sending his ballot to Florida. Maybe he cheated so that’s how he knows it happens. His argument is that he’s “allowed to do it.” His spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany, defended his voting my mail by arguing how tough it was for him to leave the White House and go to Florida. I know she’s new on the job but you think she’d have noticed that Donald Trump, before the pandemic, was in Florida playing golf and bilking the government for it every other weekend since he became president (sic). Somebody, please give her the Cliff Notes.

Funny thing, Republican officeholders in at least 16 states that do not have all-mail elections have encouraged people to vote absentee during the coronavirus pandemic. You haven’t heard Donald Trump go after them yet. But maybe he should.

Donald Trump won Michigan, barely, in 2016. He’s going to lose it in 2020 and he knows it. But, he’s also trailing Joe Biden in other states he won, like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Arizona, Georgia, and his brand new home state, Florida. And you’re going to love this, but he’s only leading Biden by one point in….wait for it….TEXAS!!!! Yeehaw!

Even if Donald Trump doesn’t lose states like Georgia, Florida, Arizona, North Carolina, and Texas, his campaign will have to do some morbidly obese spending in those states.

This is some morbidly obese corruption and they’re not even trying to hide it. The good news is, Trump probably can’t withhold spending to those states, but I’m sure conservative courts and the Republican Senate will do all they can to help him.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about free and fair elections any more than he cares about the health of Americans during a global pandemic. His only focus with both is on himself. Donald Trump solicited help during the 2016 election from Russia and he got it. He even invited Russians into his campaign HQ. He placed suspected Russian spies on his campaign staff, then cried that the government was watching the suspected spies. Now, he’s doing it again, asking foreign governments to meddle in the 2020 election.

A president should want every American eligible to vote casting votes, even those who won’t vote for him. But Donald Trump and Republicans work to gerrymander and suppress. The people who cry that their rights are being robbed because they have to wear a mask don’t give a flying fig about non-white Americans being denied their right to vote. Cry me a morbidly obese river.

Donald Trump is corrupt and Donald Trump lies. At last count, which was in April, Donald Trump had told over 18,000 lies since he became president (sic). That’s a morbidly obese number.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona BS


cjones03112020

When Donald Trump was a candidate for the presidency and no one could actually see him winning the office, President Obama said Trump was “uniquely unqualified” for the job. Obama was right. Donald Trump has done nothing except prove he’s unqualified and should not be president.

A man like Donald Trump occupying the Oval Office is a national emergency and a national security risk. He’s given secrets to the Russians. He’s downplayed attacks against our nation. He’s given legitimacy to North Korea’s dictator. He’s praised dictators. He’s attacked our allies and has worked diligently to weaken NATO. He withheld military aid to an ally in a war with one of our enemies to extort personal favors. He’s used his office to advance his political campaign and to build his own bank account. He’s removed qualified people from crucial posts to install sycophants and family members. He’s even worked to deny disaster relief and humanitarian aid to Americans because he doesn’t like the spending and their leaders hurt his feelings. For the past three years, Donald Trump hasn’t had a disaster so he’s been one. Now, we have a disaster for him to handle.

A disaster is here and in typical Trumpian fashion, his ego is the top priority. But this time, Trump can’t change the discussion with a tweet. Making fun of someone’s height doesn’t change the subject. Boasting about his leadership skills doesn’t change actual facts. The bet now is who will realize first that Donald Trump’s bullshit doesn’t change facts, Donald Trump or his cult?

One of my conservative fucknut colleagues has a cartoon today with a paper containing a headline reading, “Trump: America prepared for Corona.” And no, the cartoon isn’t about Mexican beer.

What my conservative Trump turdling colleague failed to mention is that Donald Trump has downplayed, and lied, and lied, and lied, and then lied some more when it comes to “Corona.”

His latest attempt to downplay it is that he has a “hunch” the World Health Organization is wrong about the death rate from the Coronavirus. Never mind that WHO’s death rate is based upon actual deaths from the virus. The man believes in invisible airplanes, windmill cancer, and that you need an ID to purchase Count Chocula, but let’s trust his hunch on this one.

Donald Trump initially called the virus a hoax. As you should know by now, it’s not. Trump has claimed the number of cases are decreasing in this nation. They’re not. He claimed the fatality rate is lower than the flu. It’s not. He said a vaccine is coming quickly. It’s not. Next, he’ll probably claim Mexico will pay for it.

And the people who are trying to get the facts out about this emergency are being attacked by Trump and cult, accusing those trying to tell the truth of attempting to hurt him politically. Even his dumbass son, aptly named “Donald Trump Jr,” said Democrats and the media want people to die so it’ll hurt his father politically.

While it’s all well and good (not really) that Donald Trump’s cult gaslights and claims he built this economy and that it was in a recession when he entered office (really. His supporters believe this), nobody dies from that bullshit. But now, they’re gaslighting and playing politics with something that kills people.

While talking to Sean Hannity, Trump said, “you have thousands or even hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by sitting around — and even going to work — some of them go to work. But they get better.” That’s the kind of bullshit that will kill people. And of course, Hannity wasn’t going to call him on it.

The danger from this is that a member of Trump’s cult will contract the virus and believe he only has the sniffles, and that dumbass will go to work…or attend a Trump rally. By the way, I hear a lot of liberals say if they get the virus then they’re going to a Trump rally. Here’s the problem with that: People who attend Trump rallies don’t only go to Trump rallies (or cross burnings).

But right now, we have a president (sic) who is making the environment deadlier than it already is. He’s providing false information. False information kills. And he’s claiming those who point out his lies are politicizing it and trying to hurt him.

But, criticizing his administration’s weak response and cuts that made this worse has actually increased funding to combat the virus. The House passed an $8.3 billion bill to respond to the Coronavirus and Trump will sign it.

It was during the vote for this bill that one sycophant proved they’re just as bad as their Dear Leader which brings us back to the point that protecting Donald Trump’s ego is a higher priority than combating the pandemic.

During a Meet the Press interview, Mike Pence refused to refute Donald Trump Jr’s claim that Democrats wanted the virus to kill Americans. During a hearing before Congress, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo refused to disagree with Donald Trump that the virus is a hoax. And then, during the floor vote on the bill to fight the virus, Florida Republican representative and Trump sycophant Matt Gaetz wore a huge gas mask to mock the dangers of the virus.

He later said he wore it for his own protection because “members of Congress are human Petri dishes — we fly through the dirtiest airports, we touch everyone we meet. If anyone’s gonna get coronavirus, it’s gonna be the people on that floor so I want to be ready.” I don’t know about the petri dish thing, but Matt Gaetz is like a fungus.

Before the stunt, Gaetz tweeted, “Coronavirus does not belong to a political party and it should not be a political tool.” Seriously. Here’s another fact for Florida Man Matt Gaetz: The virus doesn’t know when it’s being trolled…much like Donald Trump.

I don’t think Gaetz needed a gas mask. His colleagues did and not for safety from the virus, but from smelling the bullshit from Gaetz and the other sycophants in Congress.

In fact, the government says we don’t need to wear medical/surgical masks for protection from the virus, but if Trump’s bullshit continues, we should all wear gas masks.

Donald Trump is uniquely unqualified for the presidency. The only thing Trump is qualified for is bullshit.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

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Imminent Lies


cjones01132020

Would Donald Trump blame Meghan Markle for her and Prince Harry’s decision to leave the Royal Family? Trump? Blame a black woman for something? Duh! It’s not like it’d be the first time…or the second, or the third, or the fourth, or the…etc, etc. After all, he is afraid of strong black women. They’re “nasty.”

I expect Donald Trump to issue a public opinion about Harry and Meghan any time now. It’s something that doesn’t concern or affect him, so it’s right up his alley. Let me remind you, back in the 80’s, he openly discussed having sex with Harry’s mother and wrote in The Art of the Comeback: “I only have one regret in the women department, that I never had the opportunity to court Lady Diana Spencer.” Court? That’s how you know he used a ghostwriter. According some royal sources, Diana felt “stalked” by Trump and it was “creepy.” Yeah, we know the feeling.

He also expressed LOTS of opinions about Kate Middleton being caught by the paparazzi sunbathing in the nude. But maybe that’s acceptable because he’s also expressed several opinions about his two daughters’ bodies.

As Trump scrambles to justify his assassination of Soleimani, he builds one lie on top of another without regard to the appearance of tell-tale signs. As it’s been proven multiple times, Donald Trump is NOT a good negotiator, having been owned by people from Nancy Pelosi to Kim Jong Un to the plaintiffs in lawsuits against the Trump Foundation and Trump University. The man doesn’t have a poker face. So when Trump goes from the claim that Soleimani was targeting one American embassy…to FOUR the very next day, you know he’s making it up as he goes along. It makes you wonder why he didn’t go ahead and claim a thousand? We don’t have a thousand embassies, but who cares? He made the claim at a Trump rally. Next thing you know, Lou Dobbs would be on TV claiming we have a thousand embassies and anyone who doesn’t agree loves terrorists.

This “four embassies” claim presents two of the problems with having Donald Trump as president (sic) of the United States of America. His history of lying has destroyed any credibility the office may have given him. Even in an international crisis, friends, allies, and enemies alike are skeptical of anything Trump claims.

The other problem is that he can’t negotiate or sell. Sure, stupid people buy his shit. There’s probably a Trump shirt-wearing fucknut right now purchasing $15.00 plastic straws to sock it to snowflakes, but the mullahs of Iran may not be as gullible, stupid, or pathetic.

Trump’s own administration has refused to say if four embassies were targeted. They claim it’s classified, even though Trump has declassified it by saying it. They say the president is correct about “imminent threats,” go into a long repeat of Soleimani’s past crimes and never back up Trump on the four embassies thing. They never explicitly state Soleimani was targeting “FOUR” American embassies. There’s gotta be someone in the administration dumb and gung ho enough with a quote to repeat Trump’s claim. Where’s Kellyanne?

And, with the way Trump projects, I’m waiting to find out it was him who was targetting four American embassies.

When will we find out if Trump’s claim is true? Never. Even Iran would step first to admit they were wrong and messed up before Donald Trump ever would. Look at the airliner situation? Iran finally claimed credit last night after initially denying it.

If it was Trump, he would have blamed a black woman.

Creative note: I’ve been sitting on the Cats! joke for two weeks. Originally, it was going to be for George Soros. Then earlier this week, Trevor Noah used it for Soleimani. Damn him! But I figured after a few days had past and it’s not my punchline, that I can still use it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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More Fun With Sharpies


cjones01122020

You would think if someone is justified in their actions, then they wouldn’t have to lie to support them. Even with issues as serious as foreign policy and national security, Donald Trump lies.

This week, Donald Trump’s lies and misrepresentation of President Barack Obama’s record resembles what he did to that weather map with a Sharpie. Donald Trump lies.

Donald Trump claimed the nuclear agreement with Iran would have paved the way for them to build a nuclear weapon. Yet for some reason, if you’re a Republican, an agreement that Iran was abiding with that prohibited them from building nuclear weapons and imposed international inspections is much worse than no agreement. Now, Iran says they will no longer abide by the agreement Donald Trump pulled the U.S. out of merely because it was an Obama thing. Donald Trump lies

Donald Trump claimed the agreement expires shortly anyway. If shortly is five years, then yes. Several aspects of the agreement do expire. But, the agreement is still in place leaving at least another 20 years of international inspections on Iran. Donald Trump lies.

Donald Trump claimed that President Obama gave Iran $150 billion…and then another billion, as part of the agreement. This is an old one repeated too much from Republicans. What Obama gave them were Iranian assets frozen since 1979. It was their money. On top of that, it’s closer to $60 billion than $150. Donald Trump lies.

Then, Donald Trump claimed the money “Obama gave them” funded the missiles that rained on bases in Iraq this week. Iran has had a ballistic missile program for decades. If you can blame Obama for that, then you can blame Donald Trump for instigating this entire mess that shot down a Ukrainian airliner.

Not only is Trump not taking national security seriously, but he’s also using this crisis to continue his petty and jealous crusade against Obama. Donald Trump should spend more time actually working as president than simmering in jealousy that Obama is better looking, better read, a better family man, more popular, more accomplished, smarter, more honest, and just an all-around better person than he is.

Republican congressman Doug Collins, who is the ranking member of the House Judiciary Committee, went on Lou Dobbs’ idiotic show this week and said, “Democrats are in love with terrorists. We see that they mourn Soleimani more than they mourn our Gold Star families who are the ones who suffered under Soleimani. That’s a problem.” Trump’s former ambassador to the United Nations also claimed Democrats were mourning for Soleimani.

I haven’t seen any Democrats mourn for Soleimani but I do know of one politician who has attacked Gold Star families. That politician is Donald Trump.

Trump butt-poodle Lindsey Graham said that questioning the briefing lawmakers received and voting to remove Trump’s authority to assassinate government officials from other nations as “enabling the enemy.” Lindsey knows a thing or two about enabling.

After Osama bin Laden was killed by direct order from President Obama, Republicans lost their shit trying to take away all credit from the president. I don’t recall any Democrat accusing them of enabling or mourning for bin Laden.

In case you’re a Republican, let me give you a short tutorial: When Donald Trump and other Republicans lie to justify their actions, they’re not justified.

Donald Trump lies.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Goofy Science


cjones09162019

Fake news is not news and fake science is not science. And now, a future administration will have to repair the credibility of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration along with other scientific agencies within the government.

Science used to be non-partisan. But over the last few years, Republicans have made climate change a political issue. Somewhere along the way, facts became liberal. But even previous Republican administrations, while often quarreling with government scientists, did not blatantly try to change scientific fact, like the location of a hurricane.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about facts and he doesn’t put any priority into science. He’s a man who believes climate change is a hoax created by China. He once lied about the rain and claimed it stopped raining when he started a speech when it didn’t. He claimed the noise from windmills cause cancer.

The NOAA hasn’t had a confirmed leader since the Obama administration. On Friday, the NOAA, which oversees the National Weather Service, took the very unusual steps of issuing a statement criticizing one of their own meteorologists for contradicting Donald Trump and issuing an accurate weather report.

The NOAA isn’t backing up Trump to advance hard science, but only to coddle his ego and narcissism. Last week, Donald Trump doctored a weather map with a Sharpie after being criticized for warning Alabama about being impacted by Hurricane Dorian when that state wasn’t in its path. Trump has spent over a week defending a wrong tweet. Most people would say “oops” and move on with their lives. Trump, being a narcissist, can’t admit a little mistake. But now, this little mistake is destroying the credibility of the government’s science agencies.

First, the agency warned its scientists not issue any statements correcting or contradicting Donald Trump. After their bureau in Alabama did just that and Trump lost his shit, the NOAA backed up Trump with an official statement despite provable facts.

This isn’t the first time the Trump administration has ordered its agencies and government employees to contradict facts.

Shortly after lying about having the largest crowd size of any inauguration in U.S. history, Trump ordered the National Park Service to hunt for photographs that would support his claim. They didn’t find any.

Donald Trump created a commission to prove his claim about voter fraud. After the commission failed and disbanded, a member claimed its creation was rooted in Trump’s rage at losing the popular vote to Hillary Clinton.

When Trump claimed Middle Easterners were part of the migrant caravans headed to the border, he tried to get government agencies to support his lie. They failed.

Trump ordered agencies to create an impression that there would be a middle-class tax cut before the midterm elections (even though Congress wasn’t in session), which he had lied about. The tax cuts never happened.

The White House press office issued a doctored video to make CNN reporter Jim Acosta appear physically abusive to a White House aide.

After Trump created a bogus story about migrant women being blindfolded and gagged by drug traffickers, a top border official went on an internal hunt for information to make the story true. He failed.

The Department of Homeland Security released a slick presentation to support Trump’s lie that 4,000 known terrorists were prevented from crossing the border with Mexico.

Donald Trump is inflicting damage to this nation that will take years to repair. Our allies can’t trust us. A new report came out this morning that the CIA snuck a spy out of Moscow out of fear Trump would disclose him to Vladimir Putin. The Justice Department has become a lackey for Trump’s crimes. The entire Republican Party in Congress has become a cult. The State Department has to explain why we can trust promises from Kim Jong Un and the Taliban. The Defense Department has to publicly support losing funding to Trump’s racist, useless border wall. The military has to justify spending money at Trump’s resorts. The White House sends out lackeys to tell us the free press is an enemy to the United States. Now, the government’s science agencies have to sell us debunked science.

The only good thing is that we still have eyes, ears, and logic on our side. Unfortunately for Trump cultists, they’ve been told not to believe what they see and hear and they’re complying.

Maybe you and I can argue over the differences between Pluto and Goofy, but we should all know the difference between being rained on and pissed on.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

How To Tell A Recession Is Coming


cjones08312019

Bad news. Donald Trump is still president. Even worse news. A recession is coming and Donald Trump is still the president. If you think the Bush family didn’t know how to deal with an economic crisis, wait until Trump tries to wrap his Adderall-riddled, tiny mind around it.

Voters have short memories, especially Republicans. It’s why you never hear them complain about government spending when a Republican is in the Oval Office. They look at the economy today and give all the credit to Trump, ignoring the excellent economic numbers Obama handed over to the dotard.

Obama added over two million jobs a year for each of his last six. So has Trump during his first two, but fewer on average than Obama. That’s called a trend. Yet, during Obama’s tenure, Republicans called it the “worst economic recovery ever,” while not mentioning it was recovering from a Republican presidency. As soon as Trump was elected, they started calling it an “economic miracle.” Trump has actually claimed the economy started growing the day after he was elected based on enthusiasm over his victory. Trump likes to take credit for a lot of Obama’s accomplishments.

Trump’s only real accomplishment is that he hasn’t destroyed the economy Obama left for him…yet. But it’s not for a lack of trying. Trade wars, tariffs, increased spending, tax cuts for billionaires that aren’t paid for will eventually take its toll on the economy. It will eventually hit Wall Street, then Main Street. Farmers are already feeling it. Today, China increased tariffs on the U.S. and the stock market is going down.

There are two problems with Trump being president during an economic crisis: He lies and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. There are reports that his increased delirium is over his fear of the economy going south, thus making him a one-term president. They accuse Democrats and the media of wanting the economy to tank.

Nope. I want Trump out of office but I don’t want to starve to see it. I’d rather Obama’s economy keeps growing while we get Trump out of office for the multiple other valid reasons to remove him. When we get rid of Trump, we won’t feel like we’re winning while cleaning up his mess.

Donald Trump’s only real skill with economics is inheriting, and he’s not even good with what he does with it after he gets it. Trump claims he built his empire on a small $1 million loan from his father. The truth is, he received the equivalent today of at least $413 million from his father’s real estate empire. It’s easy to be rich when someone gives it to you. But Trump even screwed that up.

According to The New York Times, “at Trump’s Castle casino, where an $18.4 million bond payment was due in December 1990. Fred Trump dispatched a trusted bookkeeper to Atlantic City with checks to buy $3.5 million in casino chips without placing a bet. With this ruse — an illegal loan under New Jersey gaming laws, resulting in a $65,000 civil penalty — Donald Trump narrowly avoided defaulting on his bonds.” Today, Donald Trump doesn’t own any Atlantic City casinos. He didn’t sell them. They folded under this great businessman’s leadership. He bankrupted a business where people give you money.

In another move according to the Times, “Fred Trump spent $15.5 million to buy a 7.5 percent stake in Trump Palace, his son’s condo tower rising on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Four years later, tax returns and financial statements show, Fred Trump sold that stake for just $10,000.” The buyer was Donald Trump. Why did Fred buy a condo for $15.5 million and sell it for just $10,000? So Donald wouldn’t have to pay millions in taxes on a forgiven loan. The Times also wrote that it “appears to constitute both an unreported multimillion-dollar gift and an illegal tax write-off.”

Trump is really good at inheriting, cheating and lying about it, and crapping it all away. He’s doing the same thing with the inheritance he received from Obama. This is what happens when you elect a grifter to the nation’s highest office.

Donald Trump isn’t just too sleazy and dishonest to be president, he’s also too stupid. Our only hope is that the damage he inflicts is minimal before he can be removed. There are talks about his sanity, but honestly, an insane person would know tariffs are taxes. An insane person would have a hard time bankrupting a casino. Donald Trump is stupid.

When Donald Trump says he doesn’t see a recession, it means he’s too stupid to see it and he’s also lying. Everything Trump touches turns to crap and everything he says is a lie. When he says there’s no recession, it means we’re screwed.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.