Robert Mueller

Smearing Mueller


cjones06192017

If you get caught cheating on your significant other, your defense might be to blame the informer with “you’re going to believe her? She’s a big fat slut!”. The “big fat slut” defense may work if your significant other is stupid, but it doesn’t change the fact you’re guilty.

President Trump informed us, several times, that former FBI director James Comey told him three times that he was not under investigation. New reports inform us that Trump is NOW under investigation by the Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Trump is totally freaking out.

Sources close to Trump have informed the press that the president is obsessed with the investigation into his ties with Russia. They tell us he can’t stop talking about it and even TiVos morning news shows so he can watch them at night. His Twitter usage doesn’t dispel the idea that he’s a man is obsessed. Now the Trump team has taken to smearing Robert Mueller.

Yesterday, Trump tweeted “You are witnessing the single greatest WITCH HUNT in American political history — led by some very bad and conflicted people!”. This morning he tweeted “After 7 months of investigations & committee hearings about my “collusion with the Russians,” nobody has been able to show any proof. Sad!” Yes, Donald. When your henchman stonewall during Senate testimony it’s tough to find evidence.

The Special Counsel is loading for bear. He’s hired at least 12 lawyers, many with experience as prosecutors, investigators, and members of the FBI and Justice Department. They have opened the investigation into Jared Kushner’s business dealings and contacts with Russia (hard to see how going to a Russian bank has anything to do with diplomacy), and now Mike Pence is “lawyering up.”

Trump, who can barely conceal his cards, is obviously afraid of what the investigation will find. At some point, they will look at his tax returns and find out who loans him money since American banks don’t trust the Trump brand.

When Mueller was appointed as Special Counsel, Newt Gingrich praised the selection. He said Mueller was a “superb choice” and declared that “his reputation is impeccable for honesty and integrity.” Now he says it’s a “rigged game.” Newt is upset that Mueller, a Republican, has hired attorneys who have donated to Democrats in the past. He wants Mueller to hire just as many “pro-Trump” attorneys. This isn’t a bipartisan Congressional baseball game, Newt. Let’s not forget the fact that Newt is hoping his wife receives an ambassadorship from Trump.

Newt, who forgets a lot (like he’s married and probably shouldn’t stick his penis in some strange), has forgotten that the Special Counsel has to abide by Justice Department rules when hiring, and that is they can’t take political or ideological affiliation into account when hiring.

Trump’s personal legal team, led by Marc Kasowitz has issued talking points and the president’s sycophants are following them to the letter.

First, they’re upset about the leaks to The Washington Post that Trump is being investigated. They’re blaming the Special Counsel and the FBI. Trump was considering firing Mueller two days ago, so that’s when he probably found out he was under investigation, thus the leaks probably came from his staff. They’re also upset that the news of the investigation came out on Trump’s birthday. Can you think of a better gift for a lying piece of crap who has everything?

Kasowitz started off the attacks by decrying the “illegal” leaks. Remember, this guy is a lawyer and that the leaks really are not illegal.

The Republican National Committee is decrying the leaks and arguing that there isn’t a reason to investigate obstruction of justice toward Trump, who has admitted more than once that he fired Comey to end the FBI’s investigation. Sean Hannity has also called for an end to the investigation. These are people who are afraid of what will be found.

Previously, Trump has called several people to ask them to make public statements that there isn’t an investigation into him. He made the request to Comey and then fired him after he didn’t do it. Last night, a very odd statement was released from Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein downplaying the investigation and warning of leaks. It sounds very much like the sort of statement Trump was asking others to make. Rosenstein should be aware that Trump funk may not completely ever wash out.

Just as Trump will face great difficulty having his word believed over James Comey’s, he will experience trouble smearing Mueller.

Mueller is the second-longest serving director of the FBI. He’s the longest-serving director who was not a crossdresser. Trump was interested in installing Mueller into that post again.

Mueller has served as a U.S. Attorney, a U.S. Assistant Attorney General for the Criminal Division, and as Acting-Deputing Attorney General. When his term expired as FBI director, President Obama asked him to stay on for two more years. He has served a Republican and a Democratic president (being appointed by both). He served in Vietnam and was awarded a Bronze Star, two Commendation Medals, the Purple Heart, and the Republic of Vietnam Cross of Gallantry. In comparison, Trump has said his “Vietnam” was the risk of acquiring a venereal disease while he was screwing around.

If Trump didn’t have anything to fear, he’d shut up and let Mueller go about his job of not finding anything. The problem for Trump is that Mueller is finding things.

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Kathy Gets A Head


cjones06032017

Liberals are supposed to be tolerant, especially when compared to Republicans. Most are. But when you start wishing violence and even death on your opposition, you’re not any better than Ted Nugent.

The libs who post such nonsense justify it by saying their target is worthy of a death wish. No, they’re not. Not even Donald Trump. Hell, not even Ted Cruz (who even a few Republicans have wished violence upon). It’s not cool. It’s NEVER cool.

I wish I could say it’s uncommon, but that would be a lie. I see posts from liberals wishing very hateful things on Trump and his administration quite frequently. It disgusts me. It’s not a nice thing to do, especially when you’re supposed to be going high when they go low, and it destroys your argument….unless your argument is armed insurgency.

The comedian Kathy Griffin staged a photo shoot this week with her holding a prop of a bloody Donald Trump head. Conservatives immediately went after her and a lot of them said it was typical of liberals. Donald Trump Jr., who’s usually chopping off heads of wildlife, tweeted “it’s not surprising.” He also said, “imagine if conservatives did this to Obama as POTUS” (they did). Most liberals were disgusted too. Chelsea Clinton condemned it and you know she’s not a fan of Donald Trump.

Conservatives also stated that Kathy Griffin isn’t funny anymore. Dudes and dudettes, Kathy Griffin was NEVER funny. Never. Never ever. I’ve been told that women find her funny but women also think cats are interesting, so who knows (I’m gonna get some shit for that one).

Griffin posted a video “begging” for forgiveness. Seriously? It took backlash for you to realize that posing with a bloody Trump head was a bad idea? Kathy Griffin does not represent liberals or any political ideology. She’s an idiot.

As I said, it’s not cool. I didn’t even like it last week when Bloom County cartoonist Berkeley Breathed scammed the internet with a fake letter from Donald Trump’s attorney that was threatening a lawsuit. The internet believed it. They had a hard time believing it was a fake because left or right, everyone has confirmation bias. I was even accused of being a sycophant for Trump when I pointed out it was fake. How dare I reveal the truth.

We want to believe the worst about the people we hate, even if it’s not true. If you hate the guy you’re less likely to do any research into the shit you find on the internet. I found it ironic that so many liberals were falling for “fake news” over the Breathed thing. As it turns out, he was just trying to sell some crappy T-Shirts.

Here’s the thing, peeps: You don’t have to make stuff up. Donald Trump will legitimately overreact and threaten to sue somebody. He’s done it before. And if given enough time, he’ll cut off his own head.

The other thing is: You just gave the perpetually victimized Republicans another reason to whine. They already believe their whiteness, Christianity, and Christmas itself, is under attack by progressives. You give them an even bigger reason to go all snowflake on us.

Even Trump freaked out about the Kathy Griffin pic. He must have stopped his “covfefe” in mid-tweet to freak out. He tweeted that it disturbed his son, Barron. Dude, are your nannies not supervising his online viewing habits? Was the picture posted at Pornhub? But hey, no one’s supervising The Donald’s internet usage so why would they with Barron?

During the Obama administration, effigies of him were hung. Posters were created to make him look like a terrorist. Ted Nugent threatened to shoot him (did he ever apologize?). Obama’s critics accused him of being a Muslim-terrorist sympathizer who wasn’t born in this nation. Obama kept his head above it all (no pun intended). But we’re talking about Trump here. A man who believes he’s the most unfairly treated president in the history of presidents…or people. So good job, Kathy. You gave Republicans another reason, when they usually just make them up, to whine to pretend they’re oppressed.

Griffin is a correspondent for CNN during their New Years Even broadcast with Anderson Cooper. There’s talk that CNN may ditch her for this event. New Years is six months from now but conservatives have a long memory when it comes to butt-hurt. I think they should fire her, and if it’s for this, so be it. She doesn’t bring any newsworthy to their network or broadcast. Whoops! Just got the update. CNN just axed her (pun totally intended). She also lost a gig endorsing Squatty Potty which is something I don’t want to research.

And Trump, who already hates women, shouldn’t spend too much fretting about Kathy Griffin. Robert Mueller is coming for his head.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Schnooked By A Crook


cjones05222017

Trump supporters constantly defend their man from accusations he colluded with Russia and their efforts to elect him, hacking into the Clinton campaign and spreading false information. They tell us it’s all a conspiracy or “fake news.” That’s exactly what their golden-showered idol says.

What they don’t do is offer a coherent argument consisting of evidence or even reasons why it’s a conspiracy or “fake news.” Their best defense is to bring up Hillary Clinton’s email server or something Obama did. Hey, that’s the Trump defense too.

Now the dam finally broke and a Special Counsel has been appointed. Trump broke the dam himself as the Assistant Attorney General made the decision yesterday to make the appointment after news broke that fired FBI Director James Comey wrote a memo that Trump wanted him to drop the agency’s own investigation.

The assistant AG made the appointment because Jeff Sessions, the Attorney General, claims he’s recused himself from anything to do with investigating Trump, though he was in on firing Comey and is helping select the replacement.

Former FBI Director Robert Mueller has been named to lead the special investigation. After saying there was no need for a Special Counsel just a few days ago, Trump issued a statement welcoming the investigation as it will clear all this up. The statement was coherent which means someone other than Trump wrote it. Other than the statement, Trump has been strangely quiet on Twitter.

News also came out yesterday that former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn informed the Trump transition team that he was under investigation and yet they still hired him. I don’t think the theory that Trump is hung up on Flynn because he’s Putin’s guy is any less logical than the theory that Trump is loyal.

Republicans have fought against the idea of a Special Counsel yet there seems to be relief from them that it’s finally happened. “Finally” after just four months into the Trump presidency. These guys have been putting party over country for a long time now. Yesterday The Washington Post released a story that Kevin McCarthy, the number two guy in the House, said he believed Trump was being paid by Putin. On top of that juicy nugget, Paul Ryan told everyone present not to leak that information. This happened over a year ago and McCarthy and Ryan both denied it took place until they were informed it was on tape. Then they came clean and said it was a joke. It might have been a half joke.

Trump is close to Putin. He’s hired several people with connections to Putin. They range from Paul Manafort, to Michael Flynn, to Jeff Sessions, to his own son-in-law Jared Kushner.

Trump asked Putin from the campaign trail to help him win the election. He’s fired everyone who was investigating him. He fired Comey after he asked for his loyalty and for him to drop the investigation. He threatened Comey if he dared talk about his meetings with Trump. Trump gave classified intel to Russians in the Oval Office. Now Trump needs to hire a personal lawyer. Since there seems to be a lot of people in the Trump administration with links to Russia, now is a good time to be a white collar lawyer in Washington.

While Donald Trump may be saying he welcomes the Special Counsel, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t fire him. Trump can fire Rod Rosentein, the man who appointed the counsel. Maybe Trump won’t be implicated in the investigation. Maybe it won’t find anything on anyone. Maybe it’ll go after people but leave Trump alone. And maybe it’ll make a case against Trump for colluding with Russia or for his attempts to obstruct justice. If Trump is innocent then he doesn’t have anything to worry about. Does anyone believe Trump is actually innocent?

His supporters don’t believe he’s innocent or they’d make a better case than “Hillary’s emails.” If you’re a Trump supporter you’re either a schnook or a traitor to your country.

Which is it? Schnook or crook?

Update: Trump tweeted this morning. What did he do? He deflected by bringing up Obama and Clinton. See?

 

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.