Robert Mueller

Thirteen Russians


cjones02192018

If there’s one thing we should all be sure of, Hillary Clinton was the best presidential candidate because Vladimir Putin wanted us to elect Donald Trump.

On Friday, Special Counsel Robert Mueller indicted thirteen Russians. Donald Trump FINALLY admitted Russia meddled in our election in a statement that was focused, surprise, entirely on himself. Trump believes the indictments are vindication that there was no collusion with his campaign. No, it doesn’t. Mueller isn’t done. What the details of the indictments do confirm is that Donald Trump would not be president without the help of Vladimir Putin and Russian meddlers. It’s time to ditch the idea that Russia had no effect on the outcome of our election.

The Russians didn’t just post a few memes with outrageous conspiracy theories for your gullible right-wing friends to share on Facebook. They ran a third presidential campaign. While the campaign was designed to make the worst human being possible the president of the United States, its higher objective was to derail Hillary Clinton and throw our government into chaos. Part of that strategy was to support, not just Trump, but Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein.

Trump’s margin of victory in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan was smaller than the votes Stein received in each of those states. Russians focused on those states by purchasing pro-Stein ads on Facebook. Trump would not have won the presidency without Stein’s performance.

Jill Stein is not the spoiler or scapegoat. It’s Vladimir Putin.

The Russians posed as Americans to coordinate and infiltrate political activities. They organized grassroots rallies. They paid for a cage large enough to hold an actress impersonating Clinton in a prison uniform. They stoked racial tensions and sowed social discord. They had a troll farm with a budget of over $1 million a month.

Trump has spent over a year denying the Russians meddled in our election, and he’s called it “fake news” and a hoax. This was not a hoax.

Trump has done nothing to punish Russia and his inaction has only encouraged them to continue their attacks on our nation. He has never convened a Cabinet-level meeting on Russian interference and has even refused to enact sanctions on Russia passed by Congress that he himself signed. During the transition period, Obama leveled sanctions against Russia and seized two of their compounds in the U.S. Trump’s people were telling the Russians not to retaliate because the new president would take care of it.

Vladimir Putin wanted Donald Trump to be our president. Putin does not want what’s best for the United States. No American should want our president to be the person Putin picks. Our president is a Russian troll, and he has proved Clinton right. He’s Putin’s puppet.

Right-wing fanatics always claimed Obama is a traitor, hated America and sought to destroy it. How ironic they’ve given us a president who actually fits that description.

One of the most damning aspects of this indictment is the revelation (though many of us already knew) that Russians recruited Americans to help them subvert our Democracy. They had Americans help spread propaganda, “fake news,” and conspiracy theories. They coordinated with members of the Trump campaign (which we’ll be hearing more about in the future from the Special Counsel). They even paid Americans to dress as Hillary Clinton in prison garb at rallies.

Turn on the TV and you’ll see and hear conservatives echo Trump’s talking points of no collusion or that the dossier is fake and evidence of Clinton’s collusion with Russia. Go to social media and you’ll see posts by idiots echoing the same points. Look at Congress and you’ll see Republicans writing fake memos in order to subvert Mueller’s investigation. Talk to your crazy uncle and he’s talking about Hillary’s Russian uranium deal.

The Russian’s attack against our nation isn’t over and it continues today. What is also continuing is that many Americans are still helping them.

Here’s the video. 

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

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Groundhog Day…Again


cjones01282018

I’ve heard several political pundits compare the Trump era to Groundhog Day. Not the day when a rodent pops out of a hole and predicts weather. They’re comparing it to the great Bill Murray/Harold Ramis movie, Groundhog Day.

Released in 1993, Bill Murray is an egotistical weatherman stuck indefinitely in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania on Groundhog Day, where the day’s events keep repeating on a loop until the end of time or until Bill learns not to be such an asshole.

This is kind of where we are with the Trump administration. Every day repeats something extremely stupid that we’ll be forced to repeat over and over until Donald Trump learns not to be such an asshole or Robert Mueller sends him to federal prison. My money is on prison. It’s more annoying than having to wake up to “I Got You, Babe” every single morning.

Think about it. Does it feel like it’s only been a year since Trump gave his “American Carnage” speech and Sean Spicer chewed out the media for accurately reporting crowd sizes? How can one person accuse Obama of wiretapping him, defend Nazis, endorse pedophiles, and accuse an entire continent of being a shithole in a span of one year? I didn’t think it was possible for one person to tell over 2,000 lies in one year. And, you would think the guy would stop talking about Hillary Clinton after 365 days, but of course not. At some point he’s going to start writing country songs about her.

Late last night, the usual time for breaking Trump stupidity, The New York Times reported that Trump tried to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller last June. The only thing that stopped him was White House Counsel Don McGahn’s refusal and threat to quit if Muller was fired.

Being that they’re all chickenshits, Trump didn’t want to do the firing himself and McGahn didn’t want to refuse to Trump’s face. They each used surrogates, with McGahn being Trump’s. If McGahn didn’t do it to Trump’s face that means he used someone like Reince Priebus or Steve Bannon, which further makes them witnesses to an obstruction of justice. Ya’ll all going to prison.

Apparently, Trump cited three conflicts of interest for Mueller as the reasons for wanting him fired. None of them were good reasons. They were, he once worked at a law firm that represented Jared Kushner, he interviewed to return as the director of the FBI the day before he was appointed as the Special Counsel, and finally, he was a member of one of Trump’s golf clubs and had a dispute over membership fees.

Of course, Trump denies this happened which means it happened. Trump has complained daily about the Special Counsel, the FBI, the Justice Department, and has stated that any investigation looking into his finances will be going too far. Last June was also when the Special Counsel was just kicking in and hiring lawyers with experience in Watergate and Enron. Mueller didn’t hire any reality TV lawyers. Trump is in the deep end and he doesn’t even know how to dog paddle.

One of the many things I find amusing is that Trump’s lawyers are working overtime to prevent him from testifying to Mueller, despite their claims that Trump is a political genius.

Equally amusing is this notion that McGahn is somehow the hero of the White House protecting our nation from Trump fuckery. No, he’s not. This is the same guy who asked Sally Yates, after she warned them about Michael Flynn’s lying to the FBI, “why would the Justice Department care?” There’s also one other little nugget about Don McGahn people are overlooking. He works for Donald Trump.

Sure, he may have done what he thought was best for the nation in refusing to order the Justice Department to fire Mueller. He may have been protecting the president, White House, and Justice Department from the shit storm. Maybe he just didn’t wanna hear Kellyanne Conway defending it on TV. Or, maybe he doesn’t want to go to prison.

If Trump goes to prison, he’s not going alone. Maybe it’s something that’s not obvious to each Trump sycophant, but when Trump asks/tells them to do something, he may be asking them to jump on a grenade for him. I know these idiots worship Trump, but do they love him enough to serve time?

Also, maybe McGahn was looking for a reason to quit. He’s a lawyer who has had to hire a lawyer over Trump Fuckery and the Mueller Investigation. Who really wants a job that requires you to hire a lawyer so you don’t go to jail?

Creative notes: I had another subject mapped out in my head when this news hit. But I wanted to be one of the first to cover the story, so I pushed it aside. That also presented a problem as I had just drawn Trump in prison and inserted one of his lawyers in the cartoon. I really wanted to do something different since I was doing two cartoons in a row on the same subject.

This cartoon isn’t my normal style. It seems like something other cartoonists would think of. I like to shoot for weirder ideas. Also, I’ve drawn very few cartoons on Groundhog Day throughout my career. Part of that is, I hate holiday cartoons and cliches. Another big reason I’ve drawn so few is that Groundhog Day always sneaks up on me. Usually I’m not even aware of Groundhog Day until it is Groundhog Day. I refuse to draw a holiday cartoon that is published after the holiday (though that doesn’t stop some publishers from publishing them after).

This cartoon puts more emphasis on humor than a strong comment on Trump’s obstruction of justice. Something tells me I’ll have more opportunities.

Other creative note: I really wanted to make Phil flipping him off, but you know…newspapers.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Smearing Mueller


cjones06192017

If you get caught cheating on your significant other, your defense might be to blame the informer with “you’re going to believe her? She’s a big fat slut!”. The “big fat slut” defense may work if your significant other is stupid, but it doesn’t change the fact you’re guilty.

President Trump informed us, several times, that former FBI director James Comey told him three times that he was not under investigation. New reports inform us that Trump is NOW under investigation by the Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Trump is totally freaking out.

Sources close to Trump have informed the press that the president is obsessed with the investigation into his ties with Russia. They tell us he can’t stop talking about it and even TiVos morning news shows so he can watch them at night. His Twitter usage doesn’t dispel the idea that he’s a man is obsessed. Now the Trump team has taken to smearing Robert Mueller.

Yesterday, Trump tweeted “You are witnessing the single greatest WITCH HUNT in American political history — led by some very bad and conflicted people!”. This morning he tweeted “After 7 months of investigations & committee hearings about my “collusion with the Russians,” nobody has been able to show any proof. Sad!” Yes, Donald. When your henchman stonewall during Senate testimony it’s tough to find evidence.

The Special Counsel is loading for bear. He’s hired at least 12 lawyers, many with experience as prosecutors, investigators, and members of the FBI and Justice Department. They have opened the investigation into Jared Kushner’s business dealings and contacts with Russia (hard to see how going to a Russian bank has anything to do with diplomacy), and now Mike Pence is “lawyering up.”

Trump, who can barely conceal his cards, is obviously afraid of what the investigation will find. At some point, they will look at his tax returns and find out who loans him money since American banks don’t trust the Trump brand.

When Mueller was appointed as Special Counsel, Newt Gingrich praised the selection. He said Mueller was a “superb choice” and declared that “his reputation is impeccable for honesty and integrity.” Now he says it’s a “rigged game.” Newt is upset that Mueller, a Republican, has hired attorneys who have donated to Democrats in the past. He wants Mueller to hire just as many “pro-Trump” attorneys. This isn’t a bipartisan Congressional baseball game, Newt. Let’s not forget the fact that Newt is hoping his wife receives an ambassadorship from Trump.

Newt, who forgets a lot (like he’s married and probably shouldn’t stick his penis in some strange), has forgotten that the Special Counsel has to abide by Justice Department rules when hiring, and that is they can’t take political or ideological affiliation into account when hiring.

Trump’s personal legal team, led by Marc Kasowitz has issued talking points and the president’s sycophants are following them to the letter.

First, they’re upset about the leaks to The Washington Post that Trump is being investigated. They’re blaming the Special Counsel and the FBI. Trump was considering firing Mueller two days ago, so that’s when he probably found out he was under investigation, thus the leaks probably came from his staff. They’re also upset that the news of the investigation came out on Trump’s birthday. Can you think of a better gift for a lying piece of crap who has everything?

Kasowitz started off the attacks by decrying the “illegal” leaks. Remember, this guy is a lawyer and that the leaks really are not illegal.

The Republican National Committee is decrying the leaks and arguing that there isn’t a reason to investigate obstruction of justice toward Trump, who has admitted more than once that he fired Comey to end the FBI’s investigation. Sean Hannity has also called for an end to the investigation. These are people who are afraid of what will be found.

Previously, Trump has called several people to ask them to make public statements that there isn’t an investigation into him. He made the request to Comey and then fired him after he didn’t do it. Last night, a very odd statement was released from Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein downplaying the investigation and warning of leaks. It sounds very much like the sort of statement Trump was asking others to make. Rosenstein should be aware that Trump funk may not completely ever wash out.

Just as Trump will face great difficulty having his word believed over James Comey’s, he will experience trouble smearing Mueller.

Mueller is the second-longest serving director of the FBI. He’s the longest-serving director who was not a crossdresser. Trump was interested in installing Mueller into that post again.

Mueller has served as a U.S. Attorney, a U.S. Assistant Attorney General for the Criminal Division, and as Acting-Deputing Attorney General. When his term expired as FBI director, President Obama asked him to stay on for two more years. He has served a Republican and a Democratic president (being appointed by both). He served in Vietnam and was awarded a Bronze Star, two Commendation Medals, the Purple Heart, and the Republic of Vietnam Cross of Gallantry. In comparison, Trump has said his “Vietnam” was the risk of acquiring a venereal disease while he was screwing around.

If Trump didn’t have anything to fear, he’d shut up and let Mueller go about his job of not finding anything. The problem for Trump is that Mueller is finding things.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Kathy Gets A Head


cjones06032017

Liberals are supposed to be tolerant, especially when compared to Republicans. Most are. But when you start wishing violence and even death on your opposition, you’re not any better than Ted Nugent.

The libs who post such nonsense justify it by saying their target is worthy of a death wish. No, they’re not. Not even Donald Trump. Hell, not even Ted Cruz (who even a few Republicans have wished violence upon). It’s not cool. It’s NEVER cool.

I wish I could say it’s uncommon, but that would be a lie. I see posts from liberals wishing very hateful things on Trump and his administration quite frequently. It disgusts me. It’s not a nice thing to do, especially when you’re supposed to be going high when they go low, and it destroys your argument….unless your argument is armed insurgency.

The comedian Kathy Griffin staged a photo shoot this week with her holding a prop of a bloody Donald Trump head. Conservatives immediately went after her and a lot of them said it was typical of liberals. Donald Trump Jr., who’s usually chopping off heads of wildlife, tweeted “it’s not surprising.” He also said, “imagine if conservatives did this to Obama as POTUS” (they did). Most liberals were disgusted too. Chelsea Clinton condemned it and you know she’s not a fan of Donald Trump.

Conservatives also stated that Kathy Griffin isn’t funny anymore. Dudes and dudettes, Kathy Griffin was NEVER funny. Never. Never ever. I’ve been told that women find her funny but women also think cats are interesting, so who knows (I’m gonna get some shit for that one).

Griffin posted a video “begging” for forgiveness. Seriously? It took backlash for you to realize that posing with a bloody Trump head was a bad idea? Kathy Griffin does not represent liberals or any political ideology. She’s an idiot.

As I said, it’s not cool. I didn’t even like it last week when Bloom County cartoonist Berkeley Breathed scammed the internet with a fake letter from Donald Trump’s attorney that was threatening a lawsuit. The internet believed it. They had a hard time believing it was a fake because left or right, everyone has confirmation bias. I was even accused of being a sycophant for Trump when I pointed out it was fake. How dare I reveal the truth.

We want to believe the worst about the people we hate, even if it’s not true. If you hate the guy you’re less likely to do any research into the shit you find on the internet. I found it ironic that so many liberals were falling for “fake news” over the Breathed thing. As it turns out, he was just trying to sell some crappy T-Shirts.

Here’s the thing, peeps: You don’t have to make stuff up. Donald Trump will legitimately overreact and threaten to sue somebody. He’s done it before. And if given enough time, he’ll cut off his own head.

The other thing is: You just gave the perpetually victimized Republicans another reason to whine. They already believe their whiteness, Christianity, and Christmas itself, is under attack by progressives. You give them an even bigger reason to go all snowflake on us.

Even Trump freaked out about the Kathy Griffin pic. He must have stopped his “covfefe” in mid-tweet to freak out. He tweeted that it disturbed his son, Barron. Dude, are your nannies not supervising his online viewing habits? Was the picture posted at Pornhub? But hey, no one’s supervising The Donald’s internet usage so why would they with Barron?

During the Obama administration, effigies of him were hung. Posters were created to make him look like a terrorist. Ted Nugent threatened to shoot him (did he ever apologize?). Obama’s critics accused him of being a Muslim-terrorist sympathizer who wasn’t born in this nation. Obama kept his head above it all (no pun intended). But we’re talking about Trump here. A man who believes he’s the most unfairly treated president in the history of presidents…or people. So good job, Kathy. You gave Republicans another reason, when they usually just make them up, to whine to pretend they’re oppressed.

Griffin is a correspondent for CNN during their New Years Even broadcast with Anderson Cooper. There’s talk that CNN may ditch her for this event. New Years is six months from now but conservatives have a long memory when it comes to butt-hurt. I think they should fire her, and if it’s for this, so be it. She doesn’t bring any newsworthy to their network or broadcast. Whoops! Just got the update. CNN just axed her (pun totally intended). She also lost a gig endorsing Squatty Potty which is something I don’t want to research.

And Trump, who already hates women, shouldn’t spend too much fretting about Kathy Griffin. Robert Mueller is coming for his head.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Schnooked By A Crook


cjones05222017

Trump supporters constantly defend their man from accusations he colluded with Russia and their efforts to elect him, hacking into the Clinton campaign and spreading false information. They tell us it’s all a conspiracy or “fake news.” That’s exactly what their golden-showered idol says.

What they don’t do is offer a coherent argument consisting of evidence or even reasons why it’s a conspiracy or “fake news.” Their best defense is to bring up Hillary Clinton’s email server or something Obama did. Hey, that’s the Trump defense too.

Now the dam finally broke and a Special Counsel has been appointed. Trump broke the dam himself as the Assistant Attorney General made the decision yesterday to make the appointment after news broke that fired FBI Director James Comey wrote a memo that Trump wanted him to drop the agency’s own investigation.

The assistant AG made the appointment because Jeff Sessions, the Attorney General, claims he’s recused himself from anything to do with investigating Trump, though he was in on firing Comey and is helping select the replacement.

Former FBI Director Robert Mueller has been named to lead the special investigation. After saying there was no need for a Special Counsel just a few days ago, Trump issued a statement welcoming the investigation as it will clear all this up. The statement was coherent which means someone other than Trump wrote it. Other than the statement, Trump has been strangely quiet on Twitter.

News also came out yesterday that former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn informed the Trump transition team that he was under investigation and yet they still hired him. I don’t think the theory that Trump is hung up on Flynn because he’s Putin’s guy is any less logical than the theory that Trump is loyal.

Republicans have fought against the idea of a Special Counsel yet there seems to be relief from them that it’s finally happened. “Finally” after just four months into the Trump presidency. These guys have been putting party over country for a long time now. Yesterday The Washington Post released a story that Kevin McCarthy, the number two guy in the House, said he believed Trump was being paid by Putin. On top of that juicy nugget, Paul Ryan told everyone present not to leak that information. This happened over a year ago and McCarthy and Ryan both denied it took place until they were informed it was on tape. Then they came clean and said it was a joke. It might have been a half joke.

Trump is close to Putin. He’s hired several people with connections to Putin. They range from Paul Manafort, to Michael Flynn, to Jeff Sessions, to his own son-in-law Jared Kushner.

Trump asked Putin from the campaign trail to help him win the election. He’s fired everyone who was investigating him. He fired Comey after he asked for his loyalty and for him to drop the investigation. He threatened Comey if he dared talk about his meetings with Trump. Trump gave classified intel to Russians in the Oval Office. Now Trump needs to hire a personal lawyer. Since there seems to be a lot of people in the Trump administration with links to Russia, now is a good time to be a white collar lawyer in Washington.

While Donald Trump may be saying he welcomes the Special Counsel, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t fire him. Trump can fire Rod Rosentein, the man who appointed the counsel. Maybe Trump won’t be implicated in the investigation. Maybe it won’t find anything on anyone. Maybe it’ll go after people but leave Trump alone. And maybe it’ll make a case against Trump for colluding with Russia or for his attempts to obstruct justice. If Trump is innocent then he doesn’t have anything to worry about. Does anyone believe Trump is actually innocent?

His supporters don’t believe he’s innocent or they’d make a better case than “Hillary’s emails.” If you’re a Trump supporter you’re either a schnook or a traitor to your country.

Which is it? Schnook or crook?

Update: Trump tweeted this morning. What did he do? He deflected by bringing up Obama and Clinton. See?

 

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.