Democratic Debate

Lemony Bloomberg


CNN02232020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Someone said something close to “no one has ever lost as much money in one night in Las Vegas than Michael Bloomberg.” The guy has spent millions of his own money running for president only to be eviscerated by Elizabeth Warren.

While Warren successfully tore Bloomberg down, it doesn’t seem to have helped her with gaining delegates. Sure, her donations increased, but she’s still trailing nearly all the other candidates. It’s kinda like when Christ Christie destroyed Marco Rubio in a debate and the only person it helped was Donald Trump. Hell, Trump didn’t even make the guy his veep (which he expected) or give him a cabinet position. But I understand he did get some meatloaf and the opportunity to make fast food runs for Trump.

Yesterday, I made a post that Bloomberg is my top choice among the Democratic candidates…based upon my ability to caricature them. That confused people and sent many into a panic. C’mon, people. If I was going to vote based upon how easy it is to draw them and give me material, I’d be voting for Trump and would have voted for him in 2016. But there’s no way in Hell that I would ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever cast a vote for Michael Bloomberg.

Unless he’s the nominee against Donald Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Bloomy’s Slutty Slots


cjones02292020

Did I mention in the last blog after the debate that Michael Bloomberg had a lousy night?

It wasn’t just that Bloomberg got kicked in the teeth by Elizabeth Warren all night long, but that he wasn’t prepared at all. For example, at one point, he criticized Bernie Sanders for owning three homes despite being a socialist. At last count, Bloomberg owned at least 12 homes. In case you’re a Republican, 12 is more than three.

But it was Warren inflicting the most damage. If Bloomberg wasn’t a billionaire funding his own campaign, his campaign would be over. Bloomy didn’t just have to answer for his racist “stop and frisk” policy he enacted as mayor of New York City, but also for sexist comments he’s made at his business and for multiple non-disclosure agreements with female staffers.

Another great example of Bloomberg being unprepared was his defense of the NDAs as being for the protection of the women’s privacy. And as Warren pointed out, one of his defenses was that he’s been nice to some women. He also wasn’t prepared for Warren’s challenge to release all women from his company’s NDAs. Warren continued that challenge after the debate.

Elizabeth Warren used to teach contract law at Harvard. She crafted a release form for those who have signed NDAs with Bloomberg and his company and challenged him to sign it. She said, “”All that Mayor Bloomberg has to do is download it. I’ll text it. Sign it and then the women or men will be free to speak and tell their own stories.”

Yesterday, Bloomberg offered to release three women from their NDAs and free them to tell their sides of the story. Are these NDAs over harassment or discrimination at his company? Were they drawn up over the behavior of managers at his company or Bloomberg himself? At the debate, Bloomberg said, “None of them have accused me of doing anything, other than maybe they didn’t like a joke.”

That’s not good enough for Warren. She said, “Mike Bloomberg and his company should issue a blanket waiver so anyone who wants to come forward can come forward, with or without Bloomberg’s prior permission.” She’s right. Even the three releases he’s offered require the women to contact his company. Do those releases require other forms to sign? Do they need to sign an NDA to be released from their NDAs?

Bloomberg needs to “man-up” and offer a blanket waiver that doesn’t require those who have signed NDAs to contact or go through his company. Warren pointed out that we don’t know how many women have signed NDAs at his company. What do you want to bet it’s more than three?

At one of his racist fucknut rallies, Donald Trump said Bloomberg spent $500 million to be embarrassed by “Pocahontas.” Trump may want to pay more attention because what Warren is doing to Bloomberg is just practice for what she’ll do to him. I for one would love to see how she would respond to his racist slur while sharing a debate stage.

Michael Bloomberg’s presidential campaign is a loser and I don’t think he’s rich enough to make Democrats forget his debate performance. He’s not rich enough to convince Democrats that we need to replace an arrogant, sexist billionaire with another arrogant, sexist billionaire.

Instead of participating in the Las Vegas debate, Bloomy should have hit the casinos. Versus his presidential campaign, he would have lost a lot less money on the slots.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Fat Broads And Horse-Faced Lesbians


cjones02272020

I wish men who have a history of calling women “fat broads” and “horse-faced lesbians” wouldn’t even bother with running for president because this was a nation that wouldn’t consider such a jackal for our highest office. Unfortunately, this is a nation where there are enough voters, with the help of Wikileaks, Vladimir Putin, and some ill-timed FBI announcements, to put a self-described “pussy grabber” in the White House.

The bar for expectations was lowered for Former New York City mayor and multi-billionaire Michael Bloomberg’s first presidential debate. It wasn’t lowered enough. But maybe he would have performed better if Elizabeth Warren wasn’t standing next to him because, within the opening minutes, his night was done. Warren engaged in a scorched-earth strategy last night and she didn’t take prisoners. If there was a bar lowered for Mayor Bloomy, she took it and beat his ass with it.

While every candidate on the stage, Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Amy Klobuchar, and Pete Buttigieg were determined to chip away at Bloomberg’s standing in the polls, it was Warren who drew blood.

Bloomberg was a late entry into the Democratic primary and wasn’t on the ballots in Iowa or New Hampshire. He won’t be on the ballots in South Carolina or Nevada. We’ll have to wait until Super Tuesday to see how he performs in an actual contest. But with the millions of his own money he’s been pumping into the race, he’s rising in the polls. In my state of Virginia, he’s responsible for over 99% of all political ads to this point of the 2020 campaign. Right now, you’re not going to see another candidate on the air in Virginia except for Donald Trump. It’s not just his face on television. Bloomberg is also hiring and building a huge campaign organization. In Colorado, for example, Bloomberg has a staff of 55. By comparison, the current front runner, Bernie Sanders, has two.

So, with Bloomberg spending big and building a campaign his rivals can only dream of, they each took their shots last night in Las Vegas. If it was a shooting gallery at the state fair, it was Warren who won the giant stuffed monkey as all her shots hit.

Warren hit Bloomberg for alleged sexist comments he’s made and non-disclosure agreements signed by former employees.

Warren started with, “A billionaire who calls women ‘fat broads’ and ‘horse-faced lesbians.’ And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.” Interestingly enough, Bloomberg didn’t defend himself or deny he made those comments.

About 40 minutes into the debate, it came back to Bloomberg who boasted of paying and promoting women equally in his company and said, “I have no tolerance for the kind of behavior that the #MeToo movement has exposed.” Warren shot back, “I hope you heard what his defense was: ‘I’ve been nice to some women.’ That just doesn’t cut it.”

Then Warren challenged him to state how many non-disclosure agreements were signed and to release all the women from the deals and allow their alleged accounts of harassment or discrimination to become public. Bloomberg didn’t release them last night and made a poor defense stating, “None of them accused me of anything other than maybe they didn’t like a joke I told.”

Bloomberg’s responses couldn’t have been worse for him if his opponents had written them.

A lot of people were tweeting that Elizabeth Warren killed Michael Bloomberg. In fact, for a minute, his Wikipedia page reflected that he had been murdered by Elizabeth Warren in Las Vegas, Nevada.

A statement by his campaign reflected that Bloomberg sucked the suckiest suck that ever sucked on a debate stage with, “He was just warming up tonight.” Dude, with all the money you spent, your campaign needs to bullshit better than that. But, he doesn’t have to warm up because he got roasted with Warren’s flamethrower.

Donald Trump tweeted, “Mini Mike Bloomberg’s debate performance tonight was perhaps the worst in the history of debates, and there have been some really bad ones. He was stumbling, bumbling and grossly incompetent. If this doesn’t knock him out of the race, nothing will. Not so easy to do what I did!” That is true. Donald Trump’s debate performances were stumbling, bumbling, and grossly incompetent, yet he stayed in the race. That wasn’t easy, what with all his debate performances being “really bad ones.”

But Trump unknowingly, like most things he makes, makes a point. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how poorly you perform in a debate. Donald Trump never won a debate in 2016. In fact, he never went through a debate without looking like a total, sexist, racist jackass who didn’t know shit about shit. Donald Trump went through 11 debates where all he talked about was making Mexico pay for a wall and the size of his penis (No, I’m not saying Mexico was going to pay to increase his penis size. They’d need something to work with). The one thing Bloomberg has going for him is that Americans may push aside past sexist comments and the fact he’s not a total freaking idiot like Donald Trump. And then there’s his money. While Donald Trump is a pretend billionaire, Bloomberg is an actual billionaire.

If Donald Trump had to produce a billion dollars in cash today, he wouldn’t be able to do it, even with all the stealing he’s doing from emoluments and from campaign donations. Meanwhile, Bloomberg is doing it as we speak. Elizabeth Warren even predicted it’s how he’ll recover from last night’s stinky debate performance.

She told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, “After his performance tonight, I have no doubt he is about to drop another $100 million … in order to erase America’s memory of what happened on that debate stage.” She’s probably right and it will probably work.

Of course, Donald Trump had something going for him in 2016 that Bloomberg doesn’t have today. Trump was in the Republican primary where “grab them by the pussy” or racist comments weren’t dealbreakers. If anything, they helped him with Republicans. Bloomberg is in the Democratic primary which is where the majority of women and minorities in this nation vote. Plus, Democrats have higher standards.

Michael Bloomberg is a former Republican who is a New York City billionaire who has made a lot of sexist comments and is a terrible presidential candidate. We already have that in Trump. But if Bloomberg emerges as the nominee, I’ll still be voting for Michael Bloomberg for president. I’ll probably be in the shower crying for the next three days afterward, but still…I’ll be voting for Bloomberg.

On another note, why isn’t “The Horse-Faced Lesbians” a punk rock band?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Fun With White People


cjones01182020

A lot of people are pointing out that the most diverse field of presidential candidates in one party isn’t so diverse anymore. That was painfully obvious at last night’s debate in Iowa.

While there was still diversity on the stage with two women, one gay candidate, and one really old white Jewish guy, there was no ethnic diversity. Kamala Harris dropped out weeks ago. Cory Booker dropped out this week and he didn’t qualify for the last debate. Andrew Yang is still in the race but he didn’t qualify for last night’s debate.

Why would the party of diversity, whose supporters don’t go around marching with tiki torches chanting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil” disregard so many non-white candidates? And the way it appears to be going, the party is going to settle on a really old white guy, and not the Jewish one.

Seriously, Democrats. What’s up with that? At the very least, you could have supported one of the black candidates through the first primary.

While you and I can dig at the Democratic Party of letting us down on diversity, the people who can’t criticize are Republicans. Seriously, GOP. Look at yourself.

There is a serious lack of diversity in the Trump administration. The only black representation in the cabinet is Ben Carson and the highest ranking in the White House WAS senior adviser Omarosa. Seriously, Republicans? The two best Americans with a dark skin tone you could find in your party was Ben Carson and Omarosa? C’mon! Trump does have one Latino and one Asian in his cabinet, but do they count if one gave Jeffrey Epstein a sweetheart sentencing deal and the other is married to Mitch McConnell?

Every group photo that comes out of the White House has white upon white in it. And the funny thing is, nobody in the White House seems to notice. Each of those photos demonstrates that Donald Trump is not president for all of America and he has no desire to be. Donald Trump is only president (sic) for white America, and for that matter, only racist-white America. Who was he talking to when he said, “Send them back?”

Even in Congress, the GOP only has one African-American in the Senate and just one in the House (who’s retiring). While they do have 13 women in the House, the Democrats have 89 (in case you’re a Republican, 89 is a greater value than 13). The Republican Party talks a lot about diversity, but they’re only talking about it to their white members.

But tell you what, Republicans. Go ahead and crack on Democrats for their “lack of diversity.” I’ll let it go if you can tell me the last time your party made an African-American or a woman your presidential nominee.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Beto’s Gun Ban


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I admit it. The comments on my social media are mostly an echo chamber so I knew this one wouldn’t get that many shares. It’s gotten plenty of comments though.

A lot of people who do agree with Beto O’Rourke about going after assault rifles also believe he handed the GOP and Donald Trump a gift. But, there are also liberals who not only don’t have a problem with Beto saying this, but want it screamed from the rooftops. I think we can respectfully disagree. I mean, it’s not like we’re discussing Bernie.

One of my readers made a comment under this cartoon on my Facebook post. I liked it so much, I’m stealing it. Talking about how Republicans are more motivated to vote than Democrats, my friend Lex said, “90-year-old right-wing grannies will crawl to the polls. 110-year-old right-wing mummies will crawl out of their graves.”

I didn’t have to draw that many roughs for CNN this week. It was kinda like last week. Usually, we’re doing the ideas on Thursday but this week, we waited until Friday because of the debate. I was feeling some stress but this idea was approved by noon.

I felt I was only sending duds to my editors…and I was. So, I took a step back, which is hard to do when you’re feeling stressed to deliver and there’s a deadline. I took a shower and while there was soap in my hair and eyes, this hit me. You might, but I don’t normally think about Beto O’Rourke or guns when I’m wet and naked (Republicans think about guns and AOC).

I sketched out a rough while wearing a towel (the same thing happened with a song idea years ago, and I wrote the tune while wearing a towel). Within a couple minutes of receiving it, my editor approved it. He was probably fully clothed.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Dems Dumb Debate


CNN08042019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

This isn’t a complaint because it happens occasionally in this business: My editor and I spent a few hours deciding which cartoon to use and what was the best angle of the subject. He wanted me to do something on the debate and I suggested we focus on the candidates’ focus on Obama and their criticism of him as a means to attack Joe Biden. He agreed. I put a lot of work in the cartoon. He put a lot of work into the newsletter. And then, nobody cared about this subject by the time Sunday arrived.

And that’s not a complaint because there was a much bigger and more important story on Sunday. I’m not upset that this cartoon was basically dead and got no interest online. No. My complaint is that with the other story, we have to have the same conversation again and then again that goes nowhere.

I have a year and four months to hit the presidential election which many will say is too much time. I think I’m going to have the rest of my life to talk about white supremacy, white nationalism, racism, and gun violence. That’s too much time too.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Punchy Joe


CNN07282019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

There will be two Democratic debates this week on CNN, one on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. They’re being staged in Detroit. Michigan is a state Trump surprisingly won in 2016 with a huge assist from Russia. It’ll be a major battleground in 2020.

What analysists are focusing on before the debates are that on night one, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders will be on the same stage. On night two, Biden’s podium will be between Cory Booker and Kamala Harris, the two candidates he’s been feuding with.

The expectation is that Warren and Sanders, the two most liberal and socialist candidates, will have to go after each other at some point. I don’t expect that yet. It’s too early. What we can expect on night one is a moderate Democrat going after both of them. We may see the socialists team up.

Biden has promised not to be as polite as he was during the first debate where Harris took him down for his stance in the 70s on mandatory busing. He’s also been at it with Booker who has demanded Biden apologize for boasting about his working relationship with segregationists in the past. Biden wasn’t ready in the last debate. Will he be ready now?

Biden is the favorite candidate at this point and leading in the polls. Even a Fox News poll has him beating Trump. But what happens when he’s on a debate stage with Trump? Personally, I’d rather see Kamala Harris, a former prosecutor, prosecute Donald Trump to his face.

Other things to look for is that Andrew Yang has been going at it with Michael Bennett. Does anyone care?

We can look at Tom Steyer. Oh, wait. He won’t be at the debate and is one more candidate we don’t need.

Will Pete Buttigieg build, fall, or continue to tread water? Will Julian Castro build on his great performance from the first debate? Will Beto finally fold and drop out?

That’s the thing to look for after the debates. After the last one, Eric Swalwell did us all a favor, and himself, and dropped out. He’s doing a great job in Congress and that’s where he should stay. But right now, there are too many candidates. I’d like to see ten of them drop out. C’mon, guys and girls. Go home.

Previously, I didn’t have a favorite. I was going back and forth between the candidates and there are several I still like. But, now I do have a favorite and its been that way for the past few weeks. My pick is Kamala Harris. I like her. She’s a fighter and Donald Trump is afraid of her. I love the job she’s performed in grilling Trump nominees from her position in the Senate. I’m not saying she’s going to win, but that she’s who I want to win. At least for now. I have the right to change my pick. But right now, Kamala is the only one I can feel any excitement for.  I think with the right campaign, she can beat Trump.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.