Wegner, Oz, and Crudités


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When Dr. Oz made a campaign video for his Senate campaign where he’s pretending to be an ordinary flesh-and-blood human being and not a millionaire robot in a grocery store for the first time in his life, he revealed just how out of touch he is with the people whose votes he’s asking for. It came off like Mr. Burns’ race for governor when he made a campaign event out of having dinner at one of his employees’ homes.

For Oz, it was like, “so this is where all the troglodytes shop.” Too bad there wasn’t a three-headed fish in his buggy.

Oz was complaining about prices in the produce aisle, which was the first sign he had never been in one before. It also didn’t look good when he asked if each shopping cart came with a chauffeur (I made that up. They probably edited it out).

The next gaffe was while shopping at Redner’s, he confused and combined it with Wegman’s, and referred to the place as “Wegners.” Yeah, first time in a grocery store. Also, we have a Wegman’s here and if that’s where you’re shopping to be like the common man, well la-dee-da you. If you want to know what prices are for everyone, you don’t find them at Wegman’s. Redner’s, I don’t know about.

Then, he said he was purchasing produce to make a plate of Crudités. Now you burger and beer people might be asking, “What the fuck is a Crudité?” Honestly, I had to ask too.

It’s the correct terminology, so Dr. Oz didn’t get it wrong. Crudités are a plate of sliced raw vegetables. You know, the stuff that comes with your chicken wings. Yeah, those. But in addition to carrots and celery, a plate of crudités may also feature baby corn, bell peppers, cucumbers, broccoli, fennel, etc. Who the fuck eats something called “fennel?” I don’t. Maybe I should. As I said, Dr. Oz was correct in calling it “crudités,” but he was also wrong because nobody…and I mean nobody, ever calls a plate of vegetables “crudités.” Most people, except for billionaires and their robotic surrogates, call plates of vegetables, “plates of vegetables.” Maybe they’ll go with veggie platter. But nobody says, “crudités.”

Seriously, it was a Mr. Burns move, attempting to relate to the swill that lives beneath him.

Within 24 hours of the video’s release, Oz’s opponent, John Fetterman, raised over $500,000 from it. Typically when you make a campaign video, it’s supposed to make money for your campaign, not your opponent’s. It was so bad, that even Tucker Carlson was laughing at it. Usually, the only thing that makes Tucker laugh is separating brown babies from their parents and locking them in dog crates.

It’s shit like this from the crop of Trumpian-endorsed Senate candidates that has Mitch McConnell giving up on retaking the Senate.

Creative note: This was published Sunday morning and in all that time between now and then, nobody noticed the one Easter egg I hid in this cartoon. Shame on you. Shame on the lot of you. Hint: It’s amongst the crudités

Music note: I listened to some Radiohead while drawing this last Friday (start the blog on Friday and add the music note because I know I won’t remember by the time I’m ready to publish the blog).

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9 comments

  1. Well, I know was crudites are. But only because I grew up watching Julia Child. My mother always called them vegetable sticks & now of course, everyone calls them vegies. I also know what fennel is. I don’t like the flavor of it (tastes a lot like licorice) but it’s used often in Italian cooking.

    I admit, I thought that Wegner’s was an actual store. I thought, they use the same font as Wegman’s! I even told my sister, we both shop at Wegman’s (& several other stores, as Western NY is a foodie paradise). I had to laugh when I found out the truth.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fennel is a great plant for butterflies and their caterpillars for nectar, egg laying, and a food source for newly hatched caterpillars. For people eating, maybe fennel seeds in some recipes?  I live in PA. Oz is a joke. Even FPOTUS is acknowledging he is going down. Mastriano, running for governor as a Repub, is a Trump denier and was at the Jan. 6 insurrection. He needs to be defeated as the governor in PA appoints the Secretary of State.

    Liked by 1 person

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