War With Iran

The Iran Card


CNN01052020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Donald Trump has made it clear his assassination (and yes. It was an assassination) has nothing to do with anything except his impeachment.

Donald Trump can’t stop his impeachment because it’s already happened. He and his supporters just don’t seem to understand that part yet. Donald Trump is an impeached president.

And once again, Donald Trump projects. As soon as he claimed Obama would start a war with Iran to get reelected, we should have known he’d start a war with Iran to get reelected. I’m telling you, I think the guy was born in Kenya.

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Imminent Attack


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John Bolton, Trump’s former National Security Adviser, now says he’ll testify during Trump’s impeachment trial if the Senate subpoenas him. Keep in mind, the Senate is controlled by Republicans who don’t want anything that even slightly resembles a fair trial.

And what would happen if the Senate did send Bolton a subpoena? Bolton was in the room and is a direct witness of Donald Trump withholding military aid from Ukraine until they promised to investigate Hunter Biden and jump on board with the conspiracy theory that they, and not Russia, meddled in the 2016 presidential election. According to witnesses, in response to the corruption engaged by Trump’s personal goon, Rudy Giuliani, which involved Ambassador to the European Union, Gordon Sondland, Bolton said he didn’t want any part of this “drug deal.”

Will Trump order Bolton not to testify on a claim of executive privilege? It’s not like the Republican-controlled Senate would fight that in court. Would Bolton defy that order. Would the Senate still allow him to testify against a presidential order? All this is mere speculation because Mitch McConnell isn’t going to allow Bolton to testify because he doesn’t want to hear the truth or testimony that implicates Donald Trump. The Senate Republicans would rather enable Donald Trump’s corruption, and like Congressman Devin Nunes, participate in it with him.

But then again, maybe Donald Trump will just cut to the chase, consider Bolton’s offer an attack, not just on him but on the nation, and order him to be taken out.

Donald Trump considers attacks on him attacks against America. His administration has yet to define the “imminent attack” they claim the Iranian general was coordinating. If anything, they’ve only described the general’s past actions. Some of his past actions include posting mean memes about Donald Trump on Instagram.

This morning, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo scrambled to explain the justification for the assassination and called Iran liars engaged in propaganda. He did that while engaging in propaganda for Donald Trump with a straight face. I wonder if Trump’s people are aware of the hypocrisy or are they really that obtuse. Take Kellyanne Conway for example. She said Trump shouldn’t have to inform Adam Schiff of an impending act of war because he can’t be trusted. Seriously.

Even with Trump’s promise to hit “cultural sites” in Iran, Pompeo isn’t being clear or logical. He’s arguing that our nation will comply with international law, would never hit cultural sites and that Donald Trump is only talking tough with Iran because he has to. Pompeo is arguing that we shouldn’t listen the President (sic) of the United States because he’s lying.  Is Pompeo aware this is his argument or is he that obtuse? In case you’re a Republican, “obtuse” means being insensitive and slow to understand. And, in case you are a Republican, you didn’t understand that last sentence.

I think John Bolton should book a room indefinitely at the Washington Trump Hotel (or as yesterday’s cartoon pointed out, McDonald’s) so Donald Trump doesn’t fire any rockets at him. And just to be safe, maybe Mark Bolton should book a room there as well.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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McRevenge


cjones01082020

Even when it comes to war, Donald Trump fails at being presidential or even at maturity.

He threatened Iran by saying he has 52 targets. That’s the number of hostages taken by Iran in 1979. He also threatened to hit Iranian cultural sites, which would be a war crime. But his hit of Soleimani may be a war crime already, so what the hell?

Being a troll has made Iran call for more revenge…and to troll Trump right back by posting photos of large protests in Iran and asking Trump (who loves to boast and lie about his large crowds) if he’s ever seen a crowd so large.

If Trump is going to destroy Iranian cultural sites and be in the same class as the Taliban, he’ll need someone to tell him which sites are cultural. You see, Donald Trump isn’t just a man without class, taste, ethics, principles, or manners. He’s also devoid of all culture. This is a guy who believes McDonald’s is great food. He’s a guy who enjoys a burnt steak slobbered in ketchup. This is a guy who catered campaign strategy sessions with hot dogs. Eating with Donald Trump has been described as like eating at an eight-year-old’s birthday party.

Let’s hope the military can refuse to follow a presidential directive if the president is directing them to break the law. But then again, he may have already done that and they complied.

Trump has been fortunate in that he hasn’t had a real crisis during his presidency. But he’s going to change that.  Trump created this crisis with Iran, a nation who our history didn’t start with Trump tearing up the nuclear agreement or even in 1979.

So maybe when staffers are pointing out Iranian cultural sites to Donald Trump, they will also provide him with a history lesson. Just don’t forget the hot dogs.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Whoop-Ass


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I’m going to be fair in today’s column. Not with the cartoon because cartoons aren’t supposed to be fair.

When Eric Trump tweeted, “Bout to open up a big ol’ can of whoop ass (American flag emoji #Don’tMessWithTheBest #USA#USA#USA,” he wasn’t talking about his father’s order to assassinate Iranian general Qassem Soleimani.

There’s been much speculation that Donald Trump told douchebag son No. 2, Eric, about the upcoming hit while neglecting to inform Congress. It is fair to criticize how Trump handled the information since he did tell Senator, and reason some South Carolina village is missing its idiot each time he’s in Washington – LindseyGraham. Trump also seemed to dedicate a LOT more time to golf than deliberations over a decision that may lead our nation to war…and war or no war, to the death of many Americans. And, maybe he did tell Eric as Donald Trump has shown us before that he doesn’t really take classified information very seriously. For all we know he phoned Putin beforehand like he did before bombing some runways in Syria. And, there is speculation as to why Eric deleted the tweet.

But, Eric was retweeting conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec, who posted a video of marines arriving to the American embassy in Baghdad with the caption: “BREAKING: US Marines arriving to Baghdad embassy.”

There are a few issues we can take with Eric’s tweet. First off, when Eric wrote “#USA#USA#USA,” he misspelled “#RUSSIA#RUSSIA#RUSSIA.” Maybe that explains the tweet’s deletion.

Second, trust-fund, silver-spoon-baby Eric Trump has never opened a can of anything in his life. The guy would need a manual to operate a can opener without harming himself. The guy couldn’t open a can of tuna fish if it was a pop-top. Eric couldn’t open a can of Pringles. And, “Bout to open a can of whoop-ass,” Eric? Who’s opening that can of “whoop-ass?” It’s not you.

Eric, if we go to war, you’ll be safe at home watching it break on Fox News and having someone smarter explaining it to you. Even if there was a draft and you were young enough, your dad would be able to pay some quack doctor to attest that you have bone spurs, thus getting you out of military service. That’s how your corrupt grandfather got your corrupt father out of service. That’s how it works for trust-fund babies, which you undoubtedly are.

If your idiot father does start a war with Iran, you can bet your little brother Barron won’t have to serve, as the war with Iran will probably last about as long as our war with Afghanistan (which neither you nor douchebag son No.1 volunteered to serve in) that has lasted nearly two decades. In case you’re a Republican or a son of Donald Trump, a decade is ten years.

Also, Eric…war is nothing like the hunting you and dumbass Don Jr. do for endangered species. It’s not like having your prey fenced in and paying a guide to point them out to you and then after killing the animal, you get to go back to the clubhouse, get a steak before hitting up the salon for a mani-pedi.

No, Eric. In war, they shoot back. People die in war.

I know you and other Trump supporters aren’t real big with the thinking, but when you’re out there shaking your pom-poms chanting “Russia, Russia, Russia,” I mean, “USA, USA, USA,” keep in mind that Americans are going to be dying. Americans who are not you or other beneficiaries of your father’s tax-cuts.

The thing is, Eric when we go to war, you not only don’t have to fight it but you don’t even have to worry about it. I mean, for our last war you got tax cuts. What’cha gonna get this time? A new yacht?

So to sum up: Killing endangered animals, getting huge tax cuts, not having to worry, shaking pom-poms, tweeting, deleting tweets, or stealing from a children’s’ cancer charity, yes. Eric can do it. Opening cans, not so much.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump’s War


cjones01062020

As you go off to fight in Trump’s war, keep in mind, he doesn’t respect you.

He doesn’t like people who are captured. He said that loud and clear. His supporters love to explain away his comments as jokes are as being misinterpreted, but he made a point to say John McCain is “only a war hero because he got captured” and he likes people “who aren’t captured.”

Soldiers are captured during war. If we go to war with Iran, Donald Trump will not respect American soldiers captured by Iran. If Trump doesn’t respect them, then why should Iran? Should we expect Iran to abide by the Geneva Convention in how they treat captured American soldiers when the president says they’re not war heroes?

If you are killed during Trump’s war, keep in mind, he has no respect for war dead or their surviving families. If your family has a disagreement with Trump, like over a factual statement, the President of the United States will attack your family. Donald Trump has feuded with Gold Star families. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump.

Donald Trump doesn’t respect American intelligence or anyone in the military. He claims he’s smarter and knows more than the generals, despite the fact he’s never served. He believes going to prep school is the same as basic training. He believes dodging gonorrhea at Studio 54 in the 80s is equivalent to dodging bullets in Vietnam. Don’t take my word for it. Take his.

Donald Trump doesn’t respect our military alliance with NATO, which has kept peace since World War II. He doesn’t respect the military’s role in the Pacific as he’s questioned why we protect Japan. He doesn’t respect the military’s role in South Korea as he’s questioned why we’re even there, floated the idea of removing all American troops, and ended joint military exercises in that nation based on empty promises by Kim Jong Un (that he’s now breaking). Keep in mind, Donald Trump doesn’t have any intelligence.

As you go off to fight in Trump’s war, keep in mind, he’s not a patriot. Keep in mind, he has ignored an attack on our nation from Russia, defended Russia, and attempted to blame others for Russia’s attack. He’s a man who refuses to criticize Russia for their attack. Keep in mind, he’s a man who’s criticized our nation when it was pointed out what a horrible person Vladimir Putin is.

As you go off to fight in Trump’s war, keep in mind, Donald Trump is an idiot.

Our young men and women will be going to war for a man who doesn’t respect them, who doesn’t plan anything through, who cheats, lies, and can’t negotiate his way out of a paper bag.  Donald Trump believes there are invisible airplanes and doesn’t understand the nuclear triad. He only recently found out plutonium goes into nuclear weapons.

As you go off to fight in Trump’s war, keep in mind, he’s already lied to members of the military. He has stood before our service people and lied to them about raises he didn’t provide.

As you go off to fight in Trump’s war, keep in mind, he’s a draft dodger. Donald Trump got four student deferments and one deferment for bone spurs, which has never prevented him from playing golf or tennis. Keep in mind, Donald Trump’s idiot sons never served in the military. As you go off and bleed, fight, and die in Donald Trump’s war, his two oldest sons will be safe at home, shooting endangered animals that are fenced in for their convenience, and making business deals off of your blood.

As you go off to fight in Donald Trump’s war, keep in mind, you’re dying for his lies. Donald Trump lies about everything, big and small. He’s literally lied about the weather. He’ll fake a weather map to lie about where a hurricane is going to hit. What makes you think he won’t lie about details in a war?  After your kid dies in battle, he won’t think twice about changing details on a map with a Sharpie to explain how your kid wasn’t supposed to be at that location.

As you put your life on the line or watch your kids put theirs, do you trust Donald Trump? Do you trust how he directs a war when he claims he knows more than the generals when he can’t out-negotiate Kim Jong Un?

As you celebrate this attack on Iran, and cheer, and praise Donald Trump, keep in mind, Americans are going to die.

As you go off to fight in Donald Trump’s war, keep in mind, Donald Trump isn’t worth it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Drones Are Expensive


cjones06242019

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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