McTortoise Obstruction


Mitch McConnell, the Senate Minority Leader, said, “One hundred percent of my focus is on stopping the Biden administration.” He said “one hundred percent.” He didn’t say stuff he disagreed with, or stuff he considered wrong for the nation, or that he expected there to be legislation he didn’t want….he said “one hundred percent.” That means everything. Why? Because he’s a dick.

When you look at what’s wrong with Washington, start with Mitch McConnell. Oh, sure. You have a Josh Hawley out there fisting terrorists. You got Ted Cruz eating Trump’s shit sandwich while bailing on his constituents and pretending to be outraged at everything. You have Rand Paul being a dick about everything from tax hikes on corporations to how his neighbor bags his cut grass, but Rand Paul is just Rand Paul. Mitch McConnell is the leader of his Senate caucus. For most of the Obama administration and all of Donald Trump’s, he was the Senate leader.

Over in the House, you can say the problem with Washington is that a Republican Party is now a cult and they’re about to expel one of their leaders…for telling the truth. They’re going to expel a leader for saying an election wasn’t stolen. They’re going to expel a leader for siding AGAINST terrorists. They have literally have two members of Qanon in the House and one guy who possibly had sex with a teenager which they’re not criticizing. And you can look at the Republicans in both chambers and how they allowed and defended Donald Trump breaking the law and his oath of office. But to see where the problem starts, look at Mitch.

After President Obama was elected, Mitch said his only job was to make sure Obama only served one term. It didn’t matter if Obama brought something good to the table or not. Mitch is so partisan, his mission wasn’t to do his job as a Senator, but as a Republican operative and destroy the Obama presidency. He failed.

Now, Mitch out to do the same thing to President Biden. This is a guy who blamed Donald Trump for the insurrection and then voted against impeaching him. Sure, Trump brought terrorists to attack the very building you work in…but let’s let that slide…and focus on destroying President Biden.

Fuck helping to end the pandemic, or aiding the economic recovery, or stopping mass shootings. All Mitch wants to do is block everything the Biden administration tries to accomplish. Does this mean rebuilding America’s infrastructure? It sure does. McConnell will block stuff during the Biden era that he would have helped craft for the Trump administration. Donald Trump talked a lot of shit about rebuilding our nation’s infrastructure…but he spent more time playing golf, making racist comments, attacking his critics, breaking his oath of office, and grifting. President Biden is already working to repair the Trump mess and if McConnell succeeds at obstructing, it’ll remain a mess. Can you imagine how much could be accomplished if McConnell actually sat down with the president (the real one) and said, “Let’s see what we agree on so we can help people”?

Keep in mind it was President Obama with Vice-President Biden who had to clean up President Bush’s mess. They did it without McConnell’s help. Then, Donald Trump took credit for all of Obama’s accomplishments and coasted on the economy he didn’t create…and McConnell enabled that. Now that Trump has left us a shattered economy and a pandemic to recover from, McConnell doesn’t want to help the Biden-Harris administration.

Repairing our nation’s falling infrastructure, shattered economy, and recovering from a pandemic the previous administration ignored shouldn’t be a Democratic or Republican job. It should be an American effort. President Biden said yesterday there are “no Republican or Democratic” bridges. There are just bridges. But there are Republican assholes.

In many racist red states, it will soon be legal to run over and murder with your car people protesting against police violence. But if Mitch McTortoise is in the road, it will not be legal to squash his decrepit ass.

And maybe that is what’s wrong with our country.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Sinking Like A Stone


Yesterday was historic. We got to witness a public hearing in only the third impeachment inquiry in our nation’s history. We got to watch a president intimidate a witness while she was testifying. We may have seen a new article of impeachment created in real-time. And finally, a federal court found Trump confidant and partner-in-crime Roger Stone guilty on seven counts of witness tampering and lying to Congress.

Donald Trump and his goon, Rudy Giuliani, coordinated a smear campaign against Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch before she was ousted from that position. He ever praised a Ukraine prosecutor who was considered corrupt by our nation, Europe, and even Ukraine. Yesterday, his smear campaign against Yovanovitch continued.

Donald Trump has a history of bullying women and intimidating witnesses. He’s tweeted attacks in the past against his former lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen (after he turned on him), former White House counsel Don McGhan (who witnessed several episodes of obstruction by Trump), and former FBI director James Comey who testified that Trump pushed him to drop an investigation over another partner-in-crime, Michael Flynn.

Trump said he would only watch ranking member Devin Nunes’ opening statement during yesterday’s hearing, which was kind of pointless. Nunes attempted to break committee rules by yielding his opening time to another committee member (when he’s only allowed to give that time to the Republican committee counsel). As usual, Trump was lying because he unleashed a barrage of attacks against Yovanovitch WHILE she was testifying.

He tweeted, “Everywhere Marie Yovanovitch went turned bad. She started off in Somalia, how did that go?” Yovanovitch was a low-level diplomatic officer stationed in Somalia early in her career. Chairman of the Intelligence Committee Adam Schiff (another of Trump’s favorite victims) stopped the proceedings to address Trump’s Twitter tantrum.

He asked Yovanovitch what effect Trump’s attacks on her would have “on other witnesses’ willingness to come forward and expose wrongdoing.” She said, “It’s very intimidating. I can’t speak to what the president is trying to do, but the effect is to be intimidating.” In released summaries of Trump’s phone calls with the president of Ukraine, Trump said “some things will happen” to Yovanovitch.

If you think this isn’t witness tampering or intimidation, keep in mind that last year a Trump supporter mailed several pipe bombs to politicians, former government officials, and members of the media who have criticized Donald Trump. Hell, last week, someone took a knife to a Trump baby balloon. Yes, it’s witness tampering.

As if the gods agreed and wanted to make a statement, a verdict in Roger Stone’s trial was delivered in New York before the hearings in Washington were completed for the day.

A jury found Stone guilty on seven counts, including obstruction, lying to Congress, and witness tampering. He once called a potential witness and threatened to kill their dog. Roger Stone joins other Trump confidants who have been convicted or pled guilty, including Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen, Rick Gates, and “coffee boy” George Papadopoulos.

Stone can receive up to 50 years. He won’t get that much and Trump will eventually pardon him. Will Trump do the smart thing and pardon him after the 2020 election (along with Manafort) or will he attempt to fire up his base and do it sooner? His supporters do love horrible people. That’s why they’re deplorable.

Stone is going to prison for doing the same things Trump is doing today. Trump’s supporters argue he’s only expressing his opinion. But if they can say he didn’t pressure Ukraine because that nation’s president says he felt no pressure, then they need to accept that Trump is intimidating because Yovanovitch has said she feels intimidated. Logic, Republicans. Use it.

Roger Stone deserves what he’s getting. He belongs in prison. He also deserves to have his buddy there with him.

What’s more shocking here? That a guy with a Nixon tattoo on his back is going to prison for obstruction, lying, and witness tampering…or a Trump supporter is going to prison?

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Mueller Speaks


Special Counsel Robert Mueller finally spoke and what he said without saying it is that Attorney General William Barr is a filthy, sycophantic liar helping Donald Trump engage in a PR campaign to mislead the American people.

Mueller doesn’t want to speak beyond yesterday’s quickie press conference, where he didn’t take questions, or testify before Congress. He said his testimony is in the report. Fox News and Trump cultist Sean Hannity asked, “if his testimony is in the report, then why did he speak?” My answer to Sean is, probably because the report has been misconstrued by William Barr, you sycophantic dillhole.

Mueller didn’t come out and say he disagreed with Barr, but his statements contradicted his boss (his boss until he officially resigns from the Justice Department, which he says he is now doing).

Barr said Mueller’s conclusions did not include a determination of whether Trump had committed obstruction of justice. Mueller stated, “If we had had the confidence that the president (sic) clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so.” They didn’t say so.

Barr said the Special Counsel’s decision not to reach any legal conclusions leave it to the AG to determine whether Trump committed a crime. Mueller alluded to Congress to make the determination and that their impeachment power is the constitutional arbiter (if you’re a Republican, “arbiter” means decision maker).

Mueller was clear in that he never intended to charge Trump because of the long-standing legal opinion of the Justice Department that a sitting president can’t be indicted. Mueller said Wednesday, “The Constitution requires a process other than the criminal justice system to formally accuse a sitting president of wrongdoing. Barr claims that in private meetings with Mueller, that Mueller said he would not claim Trump would have been charged with a crime if he weren’t the president. Barr stated last month, “He made very clear several times that that was not his position.”

One of these two men, Robert Mueller or William Barr is a liar. The liar is Barr.

The liar, Donald Trump, went batshit crazy this morning, and because he’s stupid, he inadvertently admitted Russia helped him win the election. Don’t you love that?

Trump accused Mueller of being “totally conflicted” and a “true never-Trumper,” as if that’s a bad thing. You can consider me a never-ever-ever-ever-ever-times-infinity-never Trumper.

Trump tweeted that he, “Had nothing to do with Russia helping me get elected.” That’s like saying, “I had nothing to do with the Russian hookers’ golden shower” before anyone told you “hooker” was plural (if you’re a Republican, plural means more than one).

Mueller explicitly stated that Russia sought to hurt Hillary Clinton and help Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. Trump claimed this morning that Russia didn’t want him to win and that they were trying to help Clinton. This defies not just Mueller’s statement but Vladimir Putin’s, who expressed he wanted Trump to win the election…while he was standing on the same stage with Donald Trump in Helsinki (if you’re a Republican, Helsinki is the capital of Finland).

Trump stated this morning that “impeachment” is a “dirty, filthy disgusting word.” No. what’s disgusting is the term “President Donald Trump.” No one becomes green from nauseation when hearing “impeachment.” It gives me a warm, squishy feeling that produces a glow.

Trump continues to claim he’s exonerated while Mueller stated that because of the Justice Department opinion, “Charging the president (sic) with a crime was therefore not an option we could consider.” In case you’re a Republican, that is NOT an exoneration. Someone tell Hannity.

Now, Mueller wants to go home without having to answer any more questions. That’s too bad. Mueller will speak before Congress and he should. There are still answers like, why didn’t you interview Donald Trump? Why didn’t you interview Donald Trump Jr? Why aren’t Donald Trump Jr, Ivanka Trump, and Hope Hicks in prison? Why didn’t you recommend charges like Ken Starr did to Bill Clinton? How is it even possible for someone as stupid as Donald Trump to have not killed himself yet from forgetting to breathe, let alone convince 62 million Americans to vote for his racist ass?

Mueller wants us off his lawn. I don’t see that happening any time soon. Mueller owes the American people answers for why he left us with a president who refuses to give honest answers.

Robert Meuller left an inept, racist, stupid, narcissistic, corrupt excuse for a human being as president of this nation. He doesn’t get to go home.

Mueller has ‘splainin’ to do.

Creative note: In May of 2016, I drew my first digital cartoon on my Surface Pro 4 (it was on George Zimmerman). Today, the 4 is retired and this is the very first cartoon on my new Surface Pro 6. This is kind of a big deal for me as my Surface has been, as my girlfriend puts it, an extension of myself over the past three years. I’ve drawn cartoons at home, in friends’ homes, girlfriend’s home (NOT plural), in coffee shops, restaurants, bars, hotels, and even on a train. I feel like I’m leaving behind a loyal friend. Let’s hope the new bigger, stronger, faster Surface is reliable and as good to me as the older, smaller, slower Surface. At any rate, they can both piss me off. The new one accomplished that feat within the first hour of owning it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Snitty Redactions


Attorney General William Barr did not just mislead Congress and the American people. He lied. He is a liar and an obstructor helping the fraudulently elected president of the United States engage in a coverup.

Barr sat on the Mueller Report for three weeks but released a summary stating Mueller wanted him, as Attorney General, to determine if Trump had obstructed justice. After the report was released, we discovered he had misrepresented it and that Mueller intended Congress to make the determination of obstruction, not the AG.

During a Congressional hearing several weeks ago before he released the report, Barr was asked if Mueller agreed with his summary. Barr said he didn’t know. Barr lied. At that time, Barr knew Mueller didn’t agree with his summary.

Last night, we found out Mueller did NOT agree with Barr’s summary and was concerned with the way it was represented to the public. During today’s testimony before the Senate, Barr said Mueller’s chief concern was how the media was covering it. However, Mueller’s letter didn’t mention the media.

Barr was also perplexed as to why Mueller even wrote a letter instead of calling him to express concerns, appearing ignorant as to why the Special Counsel would want it in the written record that he disagreed with Barr.

Mueller wrote, “The summary letter the Department sent to Congress and released to the public late in the afternoon of March 24 did not fully capture the context, nature, and substance of this Office’s work and conclusions.” Mueller took the Attorney General to the woodshed.

He also wrote, “There is now public confusion about critical aspects of the results of our investigation. This threatens to undermine a central purpose for which the Department appointed the Special Counsel: to assure full public confidence in the outcome of the investigations.”

Barr described the letter as a “little snitty.” This sniveling shitweasel who’s acting at Trump’s personal attorney and defender, who has misrepresented and lied about the Mueller Report, thinks his letter is a “little snitty.”

How’s this for snitty? Mueller wrote, “Accordingly, the enclosed documents are in a form that can be released to the public consistent with legal requirements and Department policies. I am requesting that you provide these materials to Congress and authorize their public release at this time.” Barr did NOT release those at that time. He sat on them and instead released his shit-stained summary. Why? Because he’s helping Donald Trump engage in a coverup.

Barr was asked today when the president requested that Mueller be removed, how was that not obstruction of justice? Barr responded that asking Mueller be removed was not the same as asking for him to be fired. Seriously. I did not go to law school but I think the legal term for what Barr said is “bullshit.”

After the hearing, Trump suckup Lindsey Graham, Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee said that he will not call for Mueller or former White House Counsel Don McGahn to testify. He said the entire thing “is over.” Thankfully, the House is controlled by Democrats and we’ll probably see testimonies from Mueller and McGahn.

Barr is set to testify before the House tomorrow, but he’s refusing to go. His complaint is that the House will allow their lawyers to question him. Keep in mind, that when Christine Blasey Ford testified before the Senate, the GOP started the hearing by having a lawyer question her. Blasey Ford did not back down or refuse to go. She bravely confronted this line of questioning by a partisan professional prosecutor. Barr, who is a lawyer and the freaking Attorney General of the United States, is afraid of being questioned by lawyers.

Lindsey Graham and Republicans accused Democrats, specifically Senator Mazie Hirono, of slandering Barr and his reputation. You are not slandering a liar when you call him a liar. When you crawl up Donald Trump’s ass, nobody is slandering your reputation. You slandered it yourself.

And you smell like shit.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Cheaters Gonna Cheat


As you read about Paul Manafort’s plea deal being rescinded by Special Counsel Robert Mueller, keep in mind what landed him in jail before his convictions. Manafort was out on bail which he violated by obstructing justice and tampering with witnesses.

Mueller’s office says Manafort violated his plea agreement by repeatedly lying. You wonder why did he do that? Is he being manipulative? Is there further information he’s afraid will get him in deeper trouble? Is he still protecting Trump and why? Or, can he just not help lying because he’s always been a liar? The answer is probably a combination of each of those questions.

Manafort and Donald Trump are con men. Even though they deal in millions and billions instead of mere thousands, don’t give them another classification. They are lying con men and grifters. They are skeezy, sleazy, backstabbing, cheaters who will sell you, the nation, and their own family out for a couple of bucks.

Manafort made his deal with Mueller, so he would only get a few years in prison, instead of dying there, as he’s 69-years-old. Last August, he was convicted on five counts of tax fraud, one count of failing to disclose his foreign bank accounts, and two counts of bank fraud (and this was with a judge hostile to the Special Counsel). Facing an additional trial in Washington and charges of conspiracy to defraud the United States, money laundering, failing to register as a foreign lobbyist, making false statements to investigators, and witness tampering, Manafort struck a deal and pleaded guilty to witness tampering and defrauding the United States. He also surrendered $22 million in cash and property, which means this Special Counsel investigation has actually made the country money.

He was probably thinking that even with a reduced sentence, no prison time is better than any, Manafort started cheating. He was lying and withholding information from the Special Counsel and even leaking details of the investigation to Donald Trump’s lawyers. Not only does Trump have an inside man at the head of the Justice Department, he had a rat in the investigation.

Trump has stated that he feels bad for Manafort, and he probably wouldn’t be in so much legal trouble if he had never worked for his campaign. Basically, Trump, the rule-of-law president, feels bad that Manafort’s lawbreaking was exposed. Now, he’s publicly dangling a pardon in front of Manafort telling The New York Post, “why would I take it off the table?”

Trump is obstructing justice and engaging in witness tampering. While a president does have the power to pardon anyone he wants, he doesn’t have the right to bribe, which is what a pardon in this case is. He’s publicly telling Manafort that it’s on the table.

Trump and Manafort’s lawyers are probably in trouble too for obstruction of justice, and this includes Rudy Giuliani.

Trump has refused to sit down with the Special Counsel and instead, answered written questions. According to reports, two of his answers are that Roger Stone did not tell him about WikiLeaks, nor was he told about the 2016 Trump Tower meeting between his son, campaign officials and a Russian lawyer promising dirt on Hillary Clinton. Who wants to bet that Mueller already knows the answers to these questions? Who wants to place a higher wager on Trump telling the truth?

Like Manafort, Donald Trump can’t tell the truth under any circumstance. He believes he lives by a higher standard than everyone else and can’t be punished for anything he says or does. Hopefully, very soon, he’ll learn that lying to the Special Counsel isn’t the same as lying to the press or in a tweet.

Trump answered Mueller’s questions with help from his lawyers, who are the same lawyers Manafort was leaking information to. Is there any possibility the answers weren’t coordinated with what Manafort was telling Mueller?

Hopefully for all the shitweasels like Trump Jr, Roger Stone, Jerome Corsi, Julian Assange, Manafort, Giuliani, and the 45th president of the United States, orange will be the new orange.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

DOJ Happy Place


For a bunch of people who hate “fake” investigations, they sure do like calling for them. Or in this case, demanding. In case you haven’t noticed, Trump and his defenders don’t even argue the facts anymore in defending him on charges of collusion with Russia and obstruction. Instead, they attack the Department of Justice and the FBI.

A few weeks ago while screaming at the country on Fox & Friends, Trump said at some point he was going to get involved with the Justice Department. That’s exactly what he did Sunday. Trump issued an order through a tweet, “I hereby demand, and will do so officially tomorrow, that the Department of Justice look into whether or not the FBI/DOJ infiltrated or surveilled the Trump Campaign for Political Purposes — and if any such demands or requests were made by people within the Obama Administration!”

There was a time when we believed it was a good thing that our law enforcement was protecting us from foreign spies. The Republican Party used to be about law and order. Not anymore.

Russia engaged in a campaign to interfere in our election. Law enforcement warned the Trump campaign and asked them to report anything suspicious. Instead, at least seven members of the Trump campaign met with Russians and were very eager to receive their help in defeating Hillary Clinton. The FBI spied on the Russians in the Trump campaign, not to hurt Trump, but to protect America.

In fact, the FBI told us they were investigating Clinton but never said anything about investigating people in the Trump campaign. It’s a hard argument to say the FBI was favoring Clinton over Trump, but Republicans don’t do reality anymore.

Trump’s newest deflection is that the FBI was spying on his campaign. Next, he’s going to claim they threw a porn star at him. Now he’s ordering the Justice Department to investigate those investigating him. This should not be allowed.

A few weeks ago, Deputy Attorney General, who is overseeing the Special Counsel’s investigation into Trump’s collusion with Russia said, “the Department of Justice is not going to be extorted. We’re going to do what’s required by the rule of law, and any kind of threats that anybody makes are not going to affect the way we do our job.” Now, he has caved to the bully.

There is no reason, evidence, or signs that the FBI planted moles into the Trump campaign. Donald Trump and his goons in Congress claim they did. Trump may be president, but that doesn’t mean he understands how anything works. The man asked Bill Gates twice if HIV and HPV was the same thing. Donald Trump is stupid.

Rosenstein may be just placating Trump, but the Justice Department should not cave to a bully. The Department of Justice and those in Congress should educate Trump that he is not an authoritarian leader and there are limits to what he can do. They should not be lickspittles.

Trump will not stop with this request to investigate those investigating him. Giving a bully your lunch money never stopped the bully from demanding it again. It only encouraged him. Trump has been encouraged by Rosenstein, just as he’s been by those in Congress who deem protecting Trump at all cost as their jobs.

Trump believes the Justice Department should be his own protection agency and go after his enemies. He’s complained how Attorney General Jeff Sessions isn’t protecting him and that he needs a Roy Cohn, Trump former lawyer who was counsel for Joseph McCarthy and eventually disbarred. That is the kind of lawyer Trump wants.

This is not North Korea, Cuba, Iran, China, Russia, or the Philippines. Trump should not be allowed to be a bully or a strongman potentate. Congress and the DOJ need to educate him where the lines are drawn and what he can’t get away with.

We don’t need a Roy Cohn. We need leaders in DOJ who will not let Trump put his little grubby orange hands on Lady Justice.

Watch me draw.

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During the Obama presidency, Republican wingnuts perpetuated conspiracy theories that he was out to destroy America and would never leave office when his terms were up. Without any actual evidence to base these beliefs, they shat out one flimsy reason after another.

He was born in Kenya. His birth certificate is a forgery. Nobody knew him in college. He’s a Muslim. He’s a communist. He supports terrorists. He’s coming to take our guns and give them to Mexican drug cartels. His preacher is a black anarchist. He hates white people. His wife has biceps. He enunciates words. He apologizes for America. He plays too much golf. He criticizes cops when they shoot unarmed black men, teenagers, and children. He wants us to have health insurance and eat healthily. His real dad was Frank M. Davis. He invaded Texas and annexed it as a part of the United States. Bill Ayers is his ghostwriter. He caused the BP oil spill. He killed Andrew Breitbart. He killed Scalia. He put mustard on a cheeseburger. He wears mom jeans. He’s the Antichrist. He’s a lizard overlord. He eats kale.

Each of those was code for “he’s black.”

Monday, the Trump administration and the Republican sycophants in Congress who put the Rule of Trump before the Rule of Law, took further steps to dismantle the American Republic.

Andrew McCabe stepped down as Deputy Director of the FBI on Monday after months of being bullied by Trump and increasing pressure from Christopher Wray, the FBI Director appointed by Trump. According to sources, Wray was talking about demoting McCabe until his retirement in March.

According to other sources, after Trump fired James Comey as director, he called McCabe, who was acting-director, to chew him out for allowing Comey to fly back to Washington on a government jet, as he was in Los Angeles at the time he was fired. Apparently, if your job takes you out of town, fires you while you’re out of town, you should have to walk home. He also told McCabe to ask his wife, who had lost a campaign for Virginia state senate, how it felt to be a loser. Someone should ask Trump’s wife how it feels to be married to a guy who pays off porn stars.

He also asked McCabe during an introductory meeting in the Oval Office who he had voted for in the presidential election.

It was McCabe’s wife’s campaign as a Democrat that Trump and Republicans used to attack him. She received nearly $500,000 from a super PAC linked to Hillary Clinton and Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe. According to Republicans, if you have any political opinions then you are unqualified to do any job in government service, except sit in Congress.

Trump asked Comey for loyalty. He asked Comey to drop his investigation into Michael Flynn after he knew Flynn had lied to the FBI. Trump fired Comey, forced out McCabe, questioned Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ loyalty and has talked about replacing him. Trump is purging the FBI and seeking to turn it into his own personal protection agency.

New York Times Columnist David Leonhardt laid out an Article of Impeachment against Donald Trump. Mr. Leonhardt lays out ten items where Trump has tried to subvert a federal investigation. I think he went kinda light.

The Republican toadies in Congress are doing all they can to protect Trump. They have turned their Congressional investigation of Russia’s meddling in our election into a forum to protect Trump. They don’t ask about the Trump campaign’s involvement. They don’t question the fact he hasn’t enacted the sanctions against Russia they passed. Instead, they write stupid memos based on conspiracy theories.

The Republicans voted Monday night (grrr, Mondays) to release a secret memo containing classified information, despite the Justice Department asking them not to release this it. The basis of the memo accuses the FBI and Justice Department of misusing their authority to obtain a secret surveillance order on a former Trump campaign associate.

The Republicans wrote the memo, so it’s not like they found this trove of information discrediting our intelligence agencies. They’ve made it all up themselves. Democrats say the memo uses cherry-picked facts assembled with little or no context. Monday, Representative Jim Jordan said the Clinton dossier was their paying Russians to meddle in our election. Listening to that sort of logic makes me believe the Democrats are right.

I’m going to steal and tweak a line from the TV show Scrubs. Republicans are bastard covered bastards with a bastard cream filling.

The memo is attacking Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein for signing off on extending the application to continue the surveillance of Carter Page, a Trump subordinate who federal agents believe was working as a Russian spy. Instead of going after the spy, Republicans are targeting the people in our government trying to protect our nation from Russian spies. Bastard cream filling, people.

Rosenstein oversees the Special Counsel’s investigation into Trump’s collusion with Russia, and now, obstruction of justice. Trump and Republicans are now going after Rosenstein. This is the Saturday night massacre in slow motion, except with more bastards.

Democrats wrote their own memo to counter the Republican’s, but Republicans, being bastards, voted against its release. Republicans argue that Americans need all the information while voting against giving Americans all the information. Releasing classified information will also tell our allies that we’re running a crazy house, and they shouldn’t share intel with us ever again, at least not while the inmates are running the asylum. Don’t share intelligence with bastards who don’t have any.

These sycophants releasing classified information for all the world to see are the same idiots who screamed about Hillary’s email server containing classified info.

Our nation is in danger and the greatest threat isn’t Russians or terrorists. It’s Republican bastards.

Quite frankly, I don’t think November can get here soon enough.

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