Kellyanne Conway

Trump Is A Mother


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Here’s this week’s cartoon for CNN’s weekly opinion newsletter, Provoke and Persuade. Be sure to sign up to get those in your inbox every Sunday. It’s free and your subscribing will help me continue to make these for them.

I had already drawn the Conways in bed once this week (along with the cat), but when this idea hit, I liked it too much. I didn’t have to send as many ideas to CNN this week as I have been doing since this was chosen pretty early.

I thought the Mueller Report may have changed our direction and I’d be drawing something else for CNN on Saturday, but they chose to stick with this one. I was glad for that as I really liked it. The only thing I didn’t love was that I removed a detail.

I originally had Trump wearing face cream. My producer and her boss were afraid he wasn’t recognizable, so I removed it. I thought the night cream made it funnier but I didn’t want to ruin the cartoon entirely by people not being able to recognize Trump. I was going to post the other version here but then I realized that if I did, then some people would snipe it and then I’d have two different versions floating around the internet.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

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The Conway Mood Killer


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It’s kind of unusual in the new normal that George Conway is a Republican who is still a Republican and not a member of the Trump cult, as the guy is a fierce critic of Donald Trump. What’s even more unusual is that he’s married to Kellyanne Conway, an adviser to Trump on his payroll.

George has gone after Trump several times in the past, most recently this weekend after Trump conducted a Festivus celebration on Twitter and aired his grievances. George accused Trump of being mentally unbalanced and published symptoms of narcissism disorder, with each one fitting Trump. Kellyanne said she didn’t agree with her husband.

Today, Trump said that George is a loser. Now, Kellyanne has a test of loyalty. While disagreeing with her husband about Trump’s mental state, is she going to disagree with her boss that her husband is a loser?

This is a bonus cartoon so you’re just getting the short blog tonight.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Stranger Danger


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The three largest newspapers in Alabama are pleading with the state’s voters not to send Roy Moore to the United States Senate. The Birmingham News, The Mobile Press-Register, and The Huntsville Times (all owned by Alabama Media Group) don’t want the voters to embarrass Alabama.

While we’re wondering how so many people can defend and choose a suspected pedophile over a man who has prosecuted members of the KKK for killing children, let me remind you that this is not new territory.

In 2016 our choices were the most qualified person to ever run for the office of President of the United States and a man who didn’t exhibit any qualifications, knowledge, or capability for the job, and only displayed childish, immature, stupid, racist, and narcissistic tendencies, while spreading conspiracy theories and lies. It not only amazed me that people could be undecided in the days leading up to the election, but on Election Day, many voters chose the stupid candidate and put him in the White House.

Voters polled before the election gave Trump higher marks in honesty than Clinton despite the fact checkers grading over 90 percent of Trump statements as lies. I underestimated the stupidity and pettiness of the American voter. I don’t think we should underestimate it in Alabama.

Roy Moore’s defenders believe there’s a conspiracy against him. They “know” The Washington Post paid women to accuse him of sexual transgressions, one committed against a 14-year-old. They think the Democrats and the Republican establishment are after him.

One defender compared his actions to Joseph being with Mary because Joseph is supposedly older according to their mythology. While arguing he never committed any of the acts he’s accused of, his supporters find ways to justify them. And, then there are those who believe the accusations and still support him.

For Alabama Republicans, being a Democrat and believing in the separation of church and state and the U.S. Constitution is a greater sin than pedophilia. The governor said she believes Moore’s accusers, but she plans to vote for him anyway.

Last week, White House goon Kellyanne Conway said, “there is no Senate seat worth more than a child.” Now, it seems she’s had a change of heart and there is one Senate seat worth more than a child.

The White House and Trump have been very cowardly regarding Moore. Trump was wrong once in his endorsement for Alabama’s Senate seat and he doesn’t want to be wrong again. He’s afraid of upsetting his base, and in Alabama, his polls are extremely high. His supporters might be stupid, but he doesn’t want to lose them.

The White House has been trotting out the argument that Alabama voters need to select their next Senator. They don’t want to explicitly endorse a pedophile, but they also don’t want to discourage people from sending him to Washington.

Yesterday, Conway made comments on Fox & Friends that left even those nitwits confused. They weren’t sure if they should jump on the Moore bandwagon or what. Their directives from the White House are normally much clearer, and they’re not good with subtle hints.

Conway was arguing against Doug Jones, the Democrat facing Moore for the Senate seat. Conway said, “and Doug Jones in Alabama? Folks, don’t be fooled. He’ll be a vote against tax cuts. He’s weak on crime, weak on borders. He’s strong on raising your taxes. He’s terrible for property owners. And Doug Jones is a doctrinaire liberal, which is why he’s not saying anything and why the media are trying to boost him.”

Co-host Brian Kilmeade asked, “so, vote Roy Moore?”

Conway initially seemed confused in how to reply before she responded, “I’m telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through,” and then she remembered the art of deflection and turned it around on Al Franken with, “and if the media were really concerned about all these allegations and that’s what this was truly about … Al Franken would be on the ash heap of bygone, half-funny comedians. He wouldn’t be here on Capitol Hill.”

This is tribalism. They would rather get the worst of the worst and sacrifice their principles to pass their agenda. But, I could be wrong.

Maybe they’ve never had principles.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Collusion Over Coffee


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It’s been a very busy week for bullshit.

First, Vladimir Putin told Trump he didn’t have anything to do with Russia meddling in our election. As if, Russia had Wikileaks hack into the DNC, made attempts to hack into voting systems, placed ads on Facebook and Twitter, sent Russians to hang out with Trump sycophants, and unleashed troll farms, all without Putin being aware of it. Worse yet, Trump believed him.

Then, Jeff Sessions is questioned by Congress again, and tells us his previous lies weren’t lies. There were a lot of “I don’t recalls,” and he explained how he suddenly remembers telling Papadopoulos not to go to Russia at a meeting he doesn’t remember attending.

I’m not sure this administration can match Reagan’s with “I don’t recalls,” but they may beat them in indictments.

And then…Donald Trump Jr, who got really upset every time someone accused the campaign of colluding with Russia, revealed yet another incident of his collusion with Russia.

During the campaign, Jr. was trading messages back and forth with Wikileaks through Twitter. They even asked Jr. to give them his father’s tax returns so they could leak it and pretend they weren’t just going after the Clinton campaign. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

Wikileaks suggested to Jr. that Trump not concede if he lost, and should challenge the results (which he still did after winning). Jr. even emailed Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, and Jared Kushner to tell them Wikileaks just made contact. Jared forwarded that email to Hope Hicks. How often have we seen Kellyanne on TV denying there was any collusion with Russia? Maybe twice?

In keeping with his strategy of not knowing when to shut up, Jr. tweeted out, “Here is the entire chain of messages with @wikileaks9 with my whopping 3 responses) which one of the congressional committees has chosen to selectively leak. How ironic!”

How terrible it must be when someone leaks proof you’re full of shit and a traitor.

Uh, Jr….the fact you replied even once can be described as a whopper. What else can be defined as whopperistic are your denials of collusion. If you were actually transparent you would have revealed this a very long time ago, at least around the time you were calling people liars who accused you of colluding. Or maybe, you could have revealed this after everyone found out you were hosting Russians who were promising dirt on Hillary in Trump Tower.

Jeff Sessions once said “good people don’t smoke marijuana,” but potheads have a better memory than these guys.

People are starting to think maybe Eric isn’t the dumb one after all. At this point, I’m starting to think Carter Page might be related.

Meanwhile, wingnuts are destroying Keurig coffee makers because the company pulled advertising from Sean Hannity’s show when that guy helped deflect Roy Moore’s pedophilia.

Destroying coffee makers should please Kellyanne Conway, who believes kitchen appliances can spy on us.

It’s hard to get cartoon ideas on people who are already cartoons.

Creative notes: Shortish blog today because I need to write ideas for two commissioned projects. Also, I’m not sure if this cartoon is good at all. But, sometimes I’ll go with something if it makes me laugh and I can have fun with it. It’s hard to tell sometimes when you don’t get your idea until 5:00 AM.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Ethics Schmethics


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The Trump administration has taken Kellyanne Conway to task. She’s been scolded, counseled, and has been made to understand her faux pas and will no longer wear white after Labor day.

Looking at the Nutcracker outfit Ms. Conway wore on inauguration day it seems the person who may have the most issue with Kellyanne pimping Ivanka’s fashion line would be Ivanka. Thank you, but no thank you.

Donald Trump promised he would be blind to his business interest. Don’t worry about his hotel on federal property where foreign diplomats will stay and put money in Trump’s pocket. Don’t worry about his sons running his businesses while lodging in the White House. But you’d think Trump’s blindness would carry over toward his daughter, Ivanka’s business. Apparently his eye is on a lot more than her figure.

Ivanka has a line of products with her name. A name famous only for being her father’s name. Ivanka’s fame is not for any accomplishments other than being born a Trump. It’s nice work if you can get it, other than the creepy factor.

Today’s other big news story leads me to believe that if Trump was to model for Ivanka, his favorite color would be red.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Douglass Ratings Massacre


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The White House is full of idiots. Chock full of them.

We have Sean Spicer attempting to convince us not to believe our eyes when it comes to crowd size and that a ban isn’t a ban even after he and the president refer to it as a ban.

There’s the president who goes to a prayer breakfast and asks for everyone to pray for improved ratings for The Apprentice. The new host for the show, Arnold Schwarzenegger, bounced back saying they can switch jobs where Trump can worry about ratings and everyone else can sleep comfortably with Arnold in the White House.

Trump also honored Black History Month by stating Frederick Douglass “is an example of someone who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.” Apparently Trump thinks Douglass is still alive. Does no one in the White House Google anymore? On top of all that he seemed intent on starting a war with Iran, Mexico, or Australia. I know the movie sucked but I don’t think anyone should die for Crocodile Dundee III.

The statement that received the most mockery was when Miss Alternative News herself, Kellyanne Conway, defended the Muslim ban by comparing it to President Obama’s Muslim ban and stated it was a reaction to the Bowling Green massacre. She stated that the massacre didn’t receive much coverage. It probably didn’t receive any coverage because it didn’t happen, or that Obama never enacted a Muslim ban.

Conway later defended her stupidity by saying she meant to say “terrorists” and not “massacre.” Yeah, the problem with that excuse is that she mistakenly replaced people with an event. That’s like sending your husband to the store to buy toilet paper and he returns with a plumber. Even their excuses suck.

Chelsea Clinton jabbed at Conway through Twitter with “Very grateful no one seriously hurt in the Louvre attack …or the (completely fake) Bowling Green Massacre. Please don’t make up attacks.” That provoked a reaction from Conway to remind Chelsea that her mother lost the election. Of course she didn’t bring up the fact that Chelsea’s mom got more votes than Conway’s daddy.

It’s hard to have a good comeback when you’re the one in the wrong, or you’ve been busted creating and peddling a lie. We’re gonna have four years of this apparently. Four years of daily lies. It’s kinda tough to be taken seriously when you’re representing and speaking for a joke. As long as you’re paid to lie, people are going to make fun of you. How ridiculous does one have to be to get burned by Chelsea Clinton?

They’re already pushing bad policies. You can’t justify a policy by using events that never happened. Maybe Trump should stop flying in Air Force One because terrorists took it over in that Harrison Ford movie. That just makes me sad that Harrison Ford isn’t president…or anyone else who isn’t Donald Trump.

An actual massacre did happen last week in Canada when a Trump supporter killed several Muslims in a mosque. The Trump administration has totally ignored that event but they did make statements about a failed attack by a Muslim with a machete in Paris.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Children In The White House


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The press has a long tradition of respecting the privacy of children in the White House. They laid off Amy Carter (who I went to high school with for a year), Chelsea Clinton, the Bush twins, and Sasha and Malia Obama.

Many in the public, including celebrities, radio talk show hosts, and other politicians haven’t given the same respect.

During the Clinton presidency Rush Limbaugh compared 12-year-old Chelsea to a dog. Racists commenting on Fox News’ website went after Malia Obama after she was accepted into Harvard. A GOP staffer was forced to resign when she wrote that the Obama girls dressed like they were going to a bar. That same staffer was probably silent when the Bush twins were caught underage drinking in an actual bar. I’m sure you’ve seen all the Haterade if you’re on social media.

One of my conservative friends and cartooning colleagues says he never saw one conservative attack the Obama girls. Of course he’s a liar. That crap lands on every Obama posts he’s ever made (same guy spent the weekend calling all the women who marched last Saturday fat and ugly). How does someone like that not see it?

During the transition Rosie O’Donnell made a comment that Barron Trump could be autistic. She said she wasn’t trying to attack him but it’s still a place where she shouldn’t go. Autism is nothing to be ashamed of but it’s a private matter left to the family to disclose, if true. Funny thing, Trump never tweeted outrage about that slight.

After the inauguration a writer for Saturday Night Live tweeted that Barron Trump would be the first home-schooled shooter. She later deleted that tweet and was indefinitely suspended from SNL. SNL won’t miss her if she’s only contributing that type of humor.

You have to leave the kids alone, even if their last name is Trump. Politicians love to drag their kids out for photo ops and commercials and that’s fine. It changes a bit when you give them lines reading attacks and insults on another politician, like Ted Cruz did with his daughters. But Ted Cruz is the creepiest man alive so that kinda goes with the territory. Phoniest man alive too which is why his outrage when cartoonist Ann Telnaes lampooned the spot was obviously scripted.

While respecting the privacy of children, we need to watch out how these politicians, like Cruz, will use them. Cruz put them in an ad with lines and then used his outrage for a fundraiser. These are people with low morals and they’ve already proven they’ll make anything up and ignore what they’ve done in the past.

Which is why the two other children currently in the White House needs to be taken to task and held accountable. Kids say the darndest things and they can get away with it. It’s cute when they say “pasghetti.” It’s not cute when an adult says “pasghetti,” or when they scold the media, issue veiled threats, lie, and then say their obvious lies were just “alternative facts.”

Donald Trump will say anything and he’s hired people to sell his lies. Everyone spins. Trump lies. Whether it’s Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 9/11 (he claimed he saw that), Obama’s birtherism, Ted Cruz’s dad being in on killing JFK, or the latest about crowd size, and now that millions of illegals voted which is why he lost the popular vote.

Trump’s alternative reality isn’t reality. It’s not fitting for a president and it can’t be allowed to slide.

It appears the daily White House briefings are going to be difficult. Sean Spicer’s first two questions were from Trump friendly news sources (one had written an anti-Hillary book, and the other was from a pro-life outfit). We’re going to have briefings with daily lies and then Kellyanne Conway will take to the airwaves to double down on those lies.

Do you see why it’s difficult for me to find subjects other than Trump?

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!