Kellyanne Conway

Stranger Danger


cjones11232017

The three largest newspapers in Alabama are pleading with the state’s voters not to send Roy Moore to the United States Senate. The Birmingham News, The Mobile Press-Register, and The Huntsville Times (all owned by Alabama Media Group) don’t want the voters to embarrass Alabama.

While we’re wondering how so many people can defend and choose a suspected pedophile over a man who has prosecuted members of the KKK for killing children, let me remind you that this is not new territory.

In 2016 our choices were the most qualified person to ever run for the office of President of the United States and a man who didn’t exhibit any qualifications, knowledge, or capability for the job, and only displayed childish, immature, stupid, racist, and narcissistic tendencies, while spreading conspiracy theories and lies. It not only amazed me that people could be undecided in the days leading up to the election, but on Election Day, many voters chose the stupid candidate and put him in the White House.

Voters polled before the election gave Trump higher marks in honesty than Clinton despite the fact checkers grading over 90 percent of Trump statements as lies. I underestimated the stupidity and pettiness of the American voter. I don’t think we should underestimate it in Alabama.

Roy Moore’s defenders believe there’s a conspiracy against him. They “know” The Washington Post paid women to accuse him of sexual transgressions, one committed against a 14-year-old. They think the Democrats and the Republican establishment are after him.

One defender compared his actions to Joseph being with Mary because Joseph is supposedly older according to their mythology. While arguing he never committed any of the acts he’s accused of, his supporters find ways to justify them. And, then there are those who believe the accusations and still support him.

For Alabama Republicans, being a Democrat and believing in the separation of church and state and the U.S. Constitution is a greater sin than pedophilia. The governor said she believes Moore’s accusers, but she plans to vote for him anyway.

Last week, White House goon Kellyanne Conway said, “there is no Senate seat worth more than a child.” Now, it seems she’s had a change of heart and there is one Senate seat worth more than a child.

The White House and Trump have been very cowardly regarding Moore. Trump was wrong once in his endorsement for Alabama’s Senate seat and he doesn’t want to be wrong again. He’s afraid of upsetting his base, and in Alabama, his polls are extremely high. His supporters might be stupid, but he doesn’t want to lose them.

The White House has been trotting out the argument that Alabama voters need to select their next Senator. They don’t want to explicitly endorse a pedophile, but they also don’t want to discourage people from sending him to Washington.

Yesterday, Conway made comments on Fox & Friends that left even those nitwits confused. They weren’t sure if they should jump on the Moore bandwagon or what. Their directives from the White House are normally much clearer, and they’re not good with subtle hints.

Conway was arguing against Doug Jones, the Democrat facing Moore for the Senate seat. Conway said, “and Doug Jones in Alabama? Folks, don’t be fooled. He’ll be a vote against tax cuts. He’s weak on crime, weak on borders. He’s strong on raising your taxes. He’s terrible for property owners. And Doug Jones is a doctrinaire liberal, which is why he’s not saying anything and why the media are trying to boost him.”

Co-host Brian Kilmeade asked, “so, vote Roy Moore?”

Conway initially seemed confused in how to reply before she responded, “I’m telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through,” and then she remembered the art of deflection and turned it around on Al Franken with, “and if the media were really concerned about all these allegations and that’s what this was truly about … Al Franken would be on the ash heap of bygone, half-funny comedians. He wouldn’t be here on Capitol Hill.”

This is tribalism. They would rather get the worst of the worst and sacrifice their principles to pass their agenda. But, I could be wrong.

Maybe they’ve never had principles.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Collusion Over Coffee


cjones11162017

It’s been a very busy week for bullshit.

First, Vladimir Putin told Trump he didn’t have anything to do with Russia meddling in our election. As if, Russia had Wikileaks hack into the DNC, made attempts to hack into voting systems, placed ads on Facebook and Twitter, sent Russians to hang out with Trump sycophants, and unleashed troll farms, all without Putin being aware of it. Worse yet, Trump believed him.

Then, Jeff Sessions is questioned by Congress again, and tells us his previous lies weren’t lies. There were a lot of “I don’t recalls,” and he explained how he suddenly remembers telling Papadopoulos not to go to Russia at a meeting he doesn’t remember attending.

I’m not sure this administration can match Reagan’s with “I don’t recalls,” but they may beat them in indictments.

And then…Donald Trump Jr, who got really upset every time someone accused the campaign of colluding with Russia, revealed yet another incident of his collusion with Russia.

During the campaign, Jr. was trading messages back and forth with Wikileaks through Twitter. They even asked Jr. to give them his father’s tax returns so they could leak it and pretend they weren’t just going after the Clinton campaign. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

Wikileaks suggested to Jr. that Trump not concede if he lost, and should challenge the results (which he still did after winning). Jr. even emailed Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, and Jared Kushner to tell them Wikileaks just made contact. Jared forwarded that email to Hope Hicks. How often have we seen Kellyanne on TV denying there was any collusion with Russia? Maybe twice?

In keeping with his strategy of not knowing when to shut up, Jr. tweeted out, “Here is the entire chain of messages with @wikileaks9 with my whopping 3 responses) which one of the congressional committees has chosen to selectively leak. How ironic!”

How terrible it must be when someone leaks proof you’re full of shit and a traitor.

Uh, Jr….the fact you replied even once can be described as a whopper. What else can be defined as whopperistic are your denials of collusion. If you were actually transparent you would have revealed this a very long time ago, at least around the time you were calling people liars who accused you of colluding. Or maybe, you could have revealed this after everyone found out you were hosting Russians who were promising dirt on Hillary in Trump Tower.

Jeff Sessions once said “good people don’t smoke marijuana,” but potheads have a better memory than these guys.

People are starting to think maybe Eric isn’t the dumb one after all. At this point, I’m starting to think Carter Page might be related.

Meanwhile, wingnuts are destroying Keurig coffee makers because the company pulled advertising from Sean Hannity’s show when that guy helped deflect Roy Moore’s pedophilia.

Destroying coffee makers should please Kellyanne Conway, who believes kitchen appliances can spy on us.

It’s hard to get cartoon ideas on people who are already cartoons.

Creative notes: Shortish blog today because I need to write ideas for two commissioned projects. Also, I’m not sure if this cartoon is good at all. But, sometimes I’ll go with something if it makes me laugh and I can have fun with it. It’s hard to tell sometimes when you don’t get your idea until 5:00 AM.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Ethics Schmethics


cjones02122017

The Trump administration has taken Kellyanne Conway to task. She’s been scolded, counseled, and has been made to understand her faux pas and will no longer wear white after Labor day.

Looking at the Nutcracker outfit Ms. Conway wore on inauguration day it seems the person who may have the most issue with Kellyanne pimping Ivanka’s fashion line would be Ivanka. Thank you, but no thank you.

Donald Trump promised he would be blind to his business interest. Don’t worry about his hotel on federal property where foreign diplomats will stay and put money in Trump’s pocket. Don’t worry about his sons running his businesses while lodging in the White House. But you’d think Trump’s blindness would carry over toward his daughter, Ivanka’s business. Apparently his eye is on a lot more than her figure.

Ivanka has a line of products with her name. A name famous only for being her father’s name. Ivanka’s fame is not for any accomplishments other than being born a Trump. It’s nice work if you can get it, other than the creepy factor.

Today’s other big news story leads me to believe that if Trump was to model for Ivanka, his favorite color would be red.

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Douglass Ratings Massacre


cjones02052017

The White House is full of idiots. Chock full of them.

We have Sean Spicer attempting to convince us not to believe our eyes when it comes to crowd size and that a ban isn’t a ban even after he and the president refer to it as a ban.

There’s the president who goes to a prayer breakfast and asks for everyone to pray for improved ratings for The Apprentice. The new host for the show, Arnold Schwarzenegger, bounced back saying they can switch jobs where Trump can worry about ratings and everyone else can sleep comfortably with Arnold in the White House.

Trump also honored Black History Month by stating Frederick Douglass “is an example of someone who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.” Apparently Trump thinks Douglass is still alive. Does no one in the White House Google anymore? On top of all that he seemed intent on starting a war with Iran, Mexico, or Australia. I know the movie sucked but I don’t think anyone should die for Crocodile Dundee III.

The statement that received the most mockery was when Miss Alternative News herself, Kellyanne Conway, defended the Muslim ban by comparing it to President Obama’s Muslim ban and stated it was a reaction to the Bowling Green massacre. She stated that the massacre didn’t receive much coverage. It probably didn’t receive any coverage because it didn’t happen, or that Obama never enacted a Muslim ban.

Conway later defended her stupidity by saying she meant to say “terrorists” and not “massacre.” Yeah, the problem with that excuse is that she mistakenly replaced people with an event. That’s like sending your husband to the store to buy toilet paper and he returns with a plumber. Even their excuses suck.

Chelsea Clinton jabbed at Conway through Twitter with “Very grateful no one seriously hurt in the Louvre attack …or the (completely fake) Bowling Green Massacre. Please don’t make up attacks.” That provoked a reaction from Conway to remind Chelsea that her mother lost the election. Of course she didn’t bring up the fact that Chelsea’s mom got more votes than Conway’s daddy.

It’s hard to have a good comeback when you’re the one in the wrong, or you’ve been busted creating and peddling a lie. We’re gonna have four years of this apparently. Four years of daily lies. It’s kinda tough to be taken seriously when you’re representing and speaking for a joke. As long as you’re paid to lie, people are going to make fun of you. How ridiculous does one have to be to get burned by Chelsea Clinton?

They’re already pushing bad policies. You can’t justify a policy by using events that never happened. Maybe Trump should stop flying in Air Force One because terrorists took it over in that Harrison Ford movie. That just makes me sad that Harrison Ford isn’t president…or anyone else who isn’t Donald Trump.

An actual massacre did happen last week in Canada when a Trump supporter killed several Muslims in a mosque. The Trump administration has totally ignored that event but they did make statements about a failed attack by a Muslim with a machete in Paris.

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Children In The White House


cjones01252017

The press has a long tradition of respecting the privacy of children in the White House. They laid off Amy Carter (who I went to high school with for a year), Chelsea Clinton, the Bush twins, and Sasha and Malia Obama.

Many in the public, including celebrities, radio talk show hosts, and other politicians haven’t given the same respect.

During the Clinton presidency Rush Limbaugh compared 12-year-old Chelsea to a dog. Racists commenting on Fox News’ website went after Malia Obama after she was accepted into Harvard. A GOP staffer was forced to resign when she wrote that the Obama girls dressed like they were going to a bar. That same staffer was probably silent when the Bush twins were caught underage drinking in an actual bar. I’m sure you’ve seen all the Haterade if you’re on social media.

One of my conservative friends and cartooning colleagues says he never saw one conservative attack the Obama girls. Of course he’s a liar. That crap lands on every Obama posts he’s ever made (same guy spent the weekend calling all the women who marched last Saturday fat and ugly). How does someone like that not see it?

During the transition Rosie O’Donnell made a comment that Barron Trump could be autistic. She said she wasn’t trying to attack him but it’s still a place where she shouldn’t go. Autism is nothing to be ashamed of but it’s a private matter left to the family to disclose, if true. Funny thing, Trump never tweeted outrage about that slight.

After the inauguration a writer for Saturday Night Live tweeted that Barron Trump would be the first home-schooled shooter. She later deleted that tweet and was indefinitely suspended from SNL. SNL won’t miss her if she’s only contributing that type of humor.

You have to leave the kids alone, even if their last name is Trump. Politicians love to drag their kids out for photo ops and commercials and that’s fine. It changes a bit when you give them lines reading attacks and insults on another politician, like Ted Cruz did with his daughters. But Ted Cruz is the creepiest man alive so that kinda goes with the territory. Phoniest man alive too which is why his outrage when cartoonist Ann Telnaes lampooned the spot was obviously scripted.

While respecting the privacy of children, we need to watch out how these politicians, like Cruz, will use them. Cruz put them in an ad with lines and then used his outrage for a fundraiser. These are people with low morals and they’ve already proven they’ll make anything up and ignore what they’ve done in the past.

Which is why the two other children currently in the White House needs to be taken to task and held accountable. Kids say the darndest things and they can get away with it. It’s cute when they say “pasghetti.” It’s not cute when an adult says “pasghetti,” or when they scold the media, issue veiled threats, lie, and then say their obvious lies were just “alternative facts.”

Donald Trump will say anything and he’s hired people to sell his lies. Everyone spins. Trump lies. Whether it’s Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 9/11 (he claimed he saw that), Obama’s birtherism, Ted Cruz’s dad being in on killing JFK, or the latest about crowd size, and now that millions of illegals voted which is why he lost the popular vote.

Trump’s alternative reality isn’t reality. It’s not fitting for a president and it can’t be allowed to slide.

It appears the daily White House briefings are going to be difficult. Sean Spicer’s first two questions were from Trump friendly news sources (one had written an anti-Hillary book, and the other was from a pro-life outfit). We’re going to have briefings with daily lies and then Kellyanne Conway will take to the airwaves to double down on those lies.

Do you see why it’s difficult for me to find subjects other than Trump?

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Alternative Facts


cjones01232017

The Trump administration’s first day in office was a remarkable one. Not remarkable with accomplishments or in uniting the country. It was remarkable in absurdity.

Trump did manage to bring a historic crowd to Washington, D.C. Not the crowd for his inauguration. The crowd that assembled Saturday which brought over 500,000 people to the nation’s capital to protest the Trump administration. The Women’s march brought over a million people together in every major American city, in all 50 states, and in 32 nations. There was even a march in Antarctica. Trump, that means a lot of people don’t like you.

While the march was going on outside the Trump team decided to ignore it. Trump visited the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia and that’s where the day’s propaganda campaign against the press began.

Trump brought a team to applaud him during his speech at the CIA. He claimed he has the greatest respect for the CIA and it was the media distorting the facts and perpetuating a myth that he’s feuding with our nation’s intelligence agencies. He didn’t bring up the fact that just a couple of weeks ago he compared the CIA to Nazis. Trump also claimed that the crowd for his inauguration was the largest in U.S. history.

Later in the day the Trump team announced that White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer would hold a press briefing. It started an hour later than originally announced. Anyone who’s ever watched a press briefing from the White House knows that after the Press Secretary gives the briefing that he’ll take questions from the press. Sean Spicer is no Josh Earnest, Obama’s last Press Secretary.

Spicer started the briefing by complaining about Time magazine reporting that a bust of Martin Luther King, Jr. had been removed from the Oval Office. The report was a mistake which the reporter owned up to and apologized for. Spicer tweeted that the apology was accepted. He forgot about that tweet as he engaged in a diatribe about the injustice of the report. He didn’t stop there. He then went into a tirade over the press reporting the crowd for the inauguration was smaller than Obama’s 2009 inauguration. He claimed the press were lying despite the photographic proof. He said the administration will hold the press accountable, which was a thinly-veiled threat.

Spicer’s briefing only lasted about six minutes and he refused to take any questions.

On Sunday Kellyanne Conway was interviewed by Chuck Todd on MSNBC, where as usual she refused to actually answer any questions and engaged in distractions and deflections. The part that raised everyone’s eyebrows was when she said Sean Spicer was using “alternative facts.”

What are “alternative facts?”, you might ask? Oh, those are lies. Facts are facts. Anything that are not facts are lies and propaganda. Ask Joseph Goebbels who wrote the playbook the Trump is lifting from. She also claimed that Trump’s inauguration had the highest ratings ever, which was another “alternative fact.” Obama’s 2009 inauguration had more than Trump’s, and the highest overall belong to Ronald Reagan. Sorry, Ms. Conway. But at least she’s living up to the first three letters in her last name.

There are three goals with this propaganda campaign from Team Trump.

The first goal is to sugar coat Trump’s huge ego. Ratings and numbers are very important to him. I don’t believe we’ve ever had a president get upset over ratings or crowd size in the past. We’ve definitely never had one talk about his penis at a debate before Trump.

The second goal is to distract the public and press’ attention from real issues. When they scream about ridiculous stuff like ratings and crowd numbers we stop asking the real questions like “what are you going to replace Obamacare with?” and “are you currently engaging in corruption?”

Finally the third goal is to build the public’s distrust of the press and among Trump’s strongest supporters, it’s working. They do this by gaslighting, which is a form of manipulation through persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying in an attempt to destabilize and delegitimize a target (I got that definition from Wikipedia). Destroying the credibility of the press allows the Trump team to lay out their “alternative facts” with the public believing them and not trusting the press when they ask questions or engage in fact checking.

The press already has low approval with the public and it has been that way for a long time, so Trump has a head start. Trump wants the public to trust him, not the news organizations. In the future he will continue to exert pressure on the press, fill the briefings with friendly conservative news outlets that worship Trump, punish reporters for doing their jobs, and move the press entirely out of the White House. He’ll reward those who cooperate like good puppies. Their hope, which won’t come true, is that the press will cave into pressure from the public and ease up on the administration. If that happens then the most dastardly and illegal stuff they can get away with.

The pressure is real. It’s even hitting a tadpole of journalism such as myself.

For months I’ve had prospective clients tell me they can’t use my work, even though an editor will like it, because Trump fans won’t allow it. I’ve lost a few newspapers here and there over my Trump cartoons. I’m still receiving emails from clients concerned that I draw a lot of cartoons on Trump and they tell me readers are outraged and threatening them. I expect to lose a client this week actually.

One of the ideas of self-syndicating my work to newspapers is that nobody tells me what I can and can’t draw. I refuse to cave into financial pressure and change how I choose topics. Those editors aren’t wrong as the pressure they face is financial. A newspaper’s objective is to make a profit. I do need to cover issues other than Trump, and I do when they occur and I just really get tired of Trump for a day.

I don’t draw a Trump cartoon just to do one. I don’t draw one to insult him without it involving an actual issue. The problem is that there’s a new Trump issue every day. The guy can’t stop. He is a serious threat, not just to me and the rest of the press, but to the entire nation. When the press falls democracy quickly follows.

The one problem Trump has to figure out is that he’s not just president to those who voted for him. He’s everyone’s president, whether they or he likes it or not. He needs to figure that out and govern accordingly. That goes for his team too. The entire Trump administration needs to learn how to become a presidential administration. There are no training wheels for this.

I will continue to hold him and his entire ridiculous administration accountable, even with my financial survival at stake. I hope the rest of the press does the same.

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The Devil Wears Pravda


cjones01102017

When it comes to Donald Trump, his supporters, and surrogates like Kellyanne Conway, you read and hear a lot of mind boggling statements. It’s scary that since it’s a daily thing that it’s becoming the new normal and we move on from one outrage to another. The news cycle rarely has time to absorb it before the next flabbergaster comes out.

A lot of hypocritical, confusing, ridiculous, tone deaf, and just plain stupid comments came out Monday in defense of Trump, after Meryl Streep for eviscerated him during her acceptance speech for receiving a lifetime achievement award, without even mentioning his name. Conway may be the worst of the deflectors as she’s pushing the lie that Trump never mocked a reporter’s disability. She said we shouldn’t listen to Trump’s words and instead look into his heart. Yeah, that’s what journalists do, assume the best about someone and ignore their statements.

Out of all the lame defenses and attacks I read, the most obtuse is where Trump supporters don’t want to hear the political opinions of a celebrity. Didn’t they just elect a celebrity to the presidency? Hello?

Streep took on Trump for his mocking a disabled New York Times reporter last year. Trump’s defenders say that’s typical of a Hillary supporter and Hollywood Left Coast elitist. Seriously? You have to be an elitist to believe it’s wrong for a person in a position of power to bully a handicapped person? We have succumbed to this? If this is the case then I want to be a Coastal elitist. I do read books so that’s a good start, right?

If Donald Trump had the intellectual capacity of a rotted cantaloupe instead of just the complexion he would have one-upped Streep by not mentioning her name in his reply/tweet. See? That’s the new normal. It’s normal for him to reply when it shouldn’t be. If he had any restraint he wouldn’t have replied at all. It has to be pointed out once again that we’re handing the presidency to a man who is easily baited by criticism. Remember that time a famous person criticized President Obama and he lashed out on Twitter? No, because it never happened. Hell, George W. Bush totally slept through Kanye’s accusation that he didn’t care about black people.

In Trump’s counterattack he called Streep “overrated.” I don’t know. I’ve seen her act and it’s believable. She has 19 Oscar nominations which is more than anyone else ever. Trump is also an actor but one can totally see through that con if they’re so inclined. Only stupid people fall for his schtick. What I consider overrated is when a racist, sexist, narcissistic, unstable, illiterate simpleton who attacks the media, celebrities, college students, Mexicans, Muslims, and the physically disabled, is elected to the highest office in the land. He also called her a “Hillary flunky” which was soon made into talking points for Trump flunkies, er, surrogates.

Trump, one who never admits he changed his mind, was wrong, or apologizes, continues the claim that he never mocked the reporter for his handicapped. Who are you going to believe? Trump and his surrogates or those Left Coast elitists, journalists, and your lying eyes and ears?

Others weren’t upset for Streep’s politics as much as they were with her view that football and mixed martial arts are not the arts. While I’m a football fan and will watch MMA if it’s on TV while I’m in a bar, it’s not art. Yeah, it takes a lot of skill, talent, physical ability, and preparation, but it’s not an art. I don’t see why disagreeing on this point has to be so inflammable. Maybe MMA isn’t an art but Streep’s takedown and baiting of Trump belongs in a gallery somewhere.

Streep was also defending journalism in her speech. She wants it protected and to be able to call out those in power. The response has been to shout her down and tell her to shut up, proving her correct. We are in dangerous times and when criticized those assuming power, and currently in power, would rather shut us up than engage in dialogue or defend their actions.

Common decency is becoming less common. Defending the disabled and those who gather information shouldn’t be a partisan issue. It’s amazing so many conservatives have an issue with that. When Hillary Clinton referred to Trump’s supporters as “deplorables” they ate it up. They used it against her and they wore it on caps and shirts. The election is over but they’re still wearing it well.

The devils do wear Pravda.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!