Kellyanne Conway

Corona Bingo

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Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Kellyanne Conway, Chris Christie, Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Miller, Thom Tillis, Mike Lee, Ron Johnson, Hope Hicks, Nicholas Luna, Chad Gilmartin, Karoline Leavitt, Bill Stepien, and Ronna McDaniel (who even had “rona” in her name) are all people working in the White House, or close to it, who have tested positive for the coronavirus… so far.

There are nations that aren’t having as many outbreaks a day as this White House has had.

Many of these people have worked overtime to downplay the virus and deny it was as bad as it is. They worked hard to mislead the public. They over-exerted themselves to lie to America. And if they didn’t do that, then they worked for an administration that did. They are complicit.

Let’s not say any of them deserve it, but they each truly did ask for it.

A few months ago, Kellyanne Conway demanded a reporter to produce the name of a White House staffer who claimed people in the administration were calling it the “China Virus.” She said it was a racist term and nobody in that White House would ever use such an ugly description. Scratch that. Soon, Donald Trump was calling it the “China Virus” and Kellyanne, when asked to denounce that, said, “Look over there! It’s an aardvark!” And while the reporters were looking, she took off.

But many people who have caught the virus from the Trump team that downplayed it and refused to exercise the safety guidelines from their own Coronavirus Task Force, did not ask for it. A lot of people did not ask for mouth breathers to breathe on them.

While Kellyanne asked for it, her daughter didn’t. It was bad enough that Kellyanne Conway spent the past four years talking about “alternative facts” and lying for a corrupt administration. But who knew she was this vile? She refused to practice safety so she could stay in line and pander to a stupid and hateful president. She exposed herself to catch the coronavirus. Now, her lying and pandering to the worst president in world history has threatened the lives of her children. Her 15-year-old daughter, TikTok sensation Claudia, has now caught it.

In a video, Claudia claimed her mother lied to her about testing negative. Then she posted a new video saying she “guessed” she had misinterpreted her mom and that Kellyanne said she tested three times, twice positive, and never lied about it. The best thing about this is, she was taping a new TikTok video with her mom in the room who said, “You lied about your fucking mother…about covid.”

I was wrong. The best part about that is at the end her sentence, Kellyanne asked, “You’re taping again…”

Isn’t it delicious irony that Kellyanne is upset her daughter “lied” about covid? If only Kellyanne could hold her boss, the president (sic) of the United States, to the same standards and accountability as she holds her 15-year-old daughter.

Kellyanne also left her position at the White House to spend more time breathing on her family.

Others who did not ask for the virus from the White House are the three journalists who Kayleigh McEnany helped catch it.

This White House refused to create a safe environment for its employees. They carried out rallies. They even carried out huge, mask-less events on the White House lawn which is believed to have been the spark for this latest outbreak. After sharing it with the world, this administration refused to contact those in danger. They even tried to hide the outbreak.

The administration didn’t want to alert the press that Hope Hicks had acquired it. Would they have still hidden it after Trump tested positive? How would they have explained all the people working from home? What would they have said after journalists covering the White House started catching it?

Now, White House adviser and hate speech writer Stephen Miller has caught it. He was in that group with Hope Hicks that leaped into Marine One with Donald Trump last Wednesday. Another in that group was Jared Kushner.

If you had Stephen Miller on your bingo card, congratulations. Now, all with Jared are keeping an eye on him.

I’m sorry. Is it too soon to mock these people for catching a deadly virus? Not if issuing a commemorative coin celebrating Donald Trump defeating the virus, before he’s defeated the virus, isn’t too soon.

But hey, if you are one of those White House employees who have caught the virus because of Donald Trump’s failures, don’t worry. According to Donald Trump, it’s no worse than the flu. It’s not that bad. You can’t let it “dominate your life.”

In fact, you’re probably a winner. I mean, Donald Trump isn’t a loser, right? It’s not like everything he touches turns to shit, right? And he touched you, right?

As Hans Landa said in Inglourious Basterds, “Ooh. That’s a bingo.”

Creative note: Laura, one of my cartoon proofers, deserves a shout-out for this. While proofing, she asked if the bingo balls were supposed to look like the coronavirus. They weren’t but I thought it was an excellent idea. Thanks, Laura.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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Mueller Hearing

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Mueller time came with a whimper for many and devastation for others.

If you have read the Mueller Report or at least paid attention to legitimate news sources over the past few months, then Mueller’s testimony before the Congressional Judiciary Committee wasn’t revealing and didn’t present any new grounds to impeach Trump. You already knew this stuff.

However, if you’re a Trump cultist and everything you know about the Mueller Report came from Fox News or even worse, Breitbart, or even worse worse, 4Chan, InfoWars, and Facebook memes, then it was mind-blowing.

First off, the investigation wasn’t a witch hunt and Russia’s meddling into the 2016 presidential election, you’re going to want to sit down for this and hold onto something tight, is NOT a hoax. Devin Nunes, former chairman of the committee, still called it a hoax and a conspiracy theory despite being the one who ran the investigation during Trump’s first two years in the Oval Office. Nunes, is auditioning for the job of Director of National Intelligence while ignoring national intelligence.

In addition to Russia’s meddling not being a hoax, Donald Trump welcomed their meddling. Mueller confirmed that Russia meddled with the intention of helping Trump and hurting the Clinton campaign and Trump was thrilled about it. He also confirmed that Trump was involved in business dealings with Moscow, which Trump has lied about.

When asked about Trump’s tweets and statements praising WikiLeaks for releasing emails stolen from the Democratic National Committee and Clinton campaign chairman, John Podesta, Mueller said, “Problematic is an understatement, in terms of what it displays, in terms of giving some hope or some boost to what is and should be illegal activity.” Just recently, Trump sent more signals that he’d welcome Russian interference.

Here’s another shocker for you. The report did NOT exonerate Donald Trump. Trump has spent the entire time since the release of the report claiming it exonerated him. During the hearing, Republicans argued that it wasn’t Mueller’s job to convict or exonerate Trump which he later echoed, ignoring his previous lies.

Here’s another new one for you. Hillary Clinton and the Steele Dossier didn’t have anything to do with the Mueller Report. Funny enough, Mueller didn’t investigate someone for not breaking the law. Hiring an American firm to conduct opposition research on your opponent is not illegal, even if that firm hires a Brit to do the investigating. Who knew? Everybody. He also didn’t investigate the FISA warrant conspiracy because, again, nothing illegal happened there either. In fact, Devin Nunes’ committee issued a memo on the conspiracy and even wrote that no laws were broken. Despite knowing this, Republicans hammered Mueller on it yesterday hoping he’d help them with their agenda of deflection and whataboutism. Currently, the Justice Department is investigating the FISA warrant and Steele Dossier conspiracy theories because the department, being led by William Barr, is now a branch of the Trump legal defense team.

Mueller informed the committee that he couldn’t determine if Trump had committed a crime which is also an inability to determine if he did not. While Republicans accused Mueller of conducting a witch hunt, he decided against pursuing a sit-down interview with Trump. If Mueller had wanted to find something to nail Trump on, he would have fought for that interview. Mueller did confirm that Trump was less than truthful in his written answers, which for some reason he’s not being charged with perjury over.

By the way, can you imagine how Republicans would lose their shit if the FBI conducted an investigation into Hillary Clinton without interviewing her? In case you forgot, they did investigate her and did interview her without any of that written answers shit.

Ever since Mueller was appointed as Special Counsel, Trump had argued there was a conflict because Mueller had interviewed for the job of FBI director. It took two years, but we finally found out, surprise, that was another Trump lie. Republican Louis Gohmert was trying to nail Muller for conflict by bringing up the Trump lie, which Mueller contradicted. He said he met with Trump to advise him on the FBI job, not as a candidate. Mueller was under oath when he contradicted Trump. Thanks to Gohmert, it’s now on the Congressional record that Trump lied. It’s also on the Congressional record that Gohmert, Jim Jordan, Devin Nunes, and Matt Gaetz are all complicit treasonists who put their cult leader before their country.

Over the past two years, Trump and Republicans have been fixated on members of Mueller’s team who had contributed to Democratic Party candidates in the past. When Republicans hit Mueller on this, he came to life defending his team. Mueller said that at no time in his 25 years of doing just this sort of thing had he “had occasion once to ask somebody about their political affiliation. It is not done.” The thing is, it’s against Justice Department policy to ask about political affiliations. A person can have a political affiliation and preferences and still be ethical and counted on to do his or her job. The fact Republicans keep questioning this, as if it’s impossible, just proves it’s impossible for them to do their job without being partisan and unethical. By the way, Mueller is a Republican.

The report gave the impression that Trump obstructed justice on many occasions and that Mueller wanted to leave that determination to others. Mueller stated in the hearing that Trump can be indicted once he leaves office. That answer, stupidly enough, was set up by a Republican. Once Donald Trump leaves the White House, he will be charged with a crime, and then another crime, and then another crime. Nobody knows the ultimate number he’ll be charged with. This is where Democrats should get a highlighter.

The argument needs to be made from now until election day, that the only reason a president isn’t being charged with a crime or in prison is because he’s president, shouldn’t be president.

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As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Hanging With Kellyanne

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There is a famous quote about having conversations with people who have abandoned reason. I don’t remember it but it basically says you should abandon that conversation. It’s extremely difficult to talk to a person who has abandoned reason. Take Kellyanne Conway for instance.

When asked about Trump hijacking the Fourth of July and turning it into a military display and celebration with him in the center, she turned it on reporters by asking if they knew what the Fourth of July was about. She is the master of whataboutism, even if she doesn’t make any sense.

She screams at reporters, argues, and won’t stop barking to allow them to ask a followup question. Her abilities to reason and comprehend went buh-bye somewhere around the time she was working for Ted Cruz…or when she decided to work for Ted Cruz.

While defending Donald Trump’s racism, she attacked a reporter by asking his ethnicity (the reporter was white) and then she went on to inform us she’s descended from various European countries (shocker). Of course, none of this had anything to do with Trump’s racism and in case you haven’t noticed, nobody ever tells you to go back where you came from if you’re white.

Kellyanne cited her European heritage when nobody was asking and when it didn’t have anything to do with anything, but I want to see a DNA test because I don’t think she’s human.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Trumpy World

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Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I submitted several sketches to CNN this week, then the editor came up with “cast changes for the next season of Trump World.” I thought I’d see what I could do with it. And, he liked it. I wasn’t even sure I could do anything with it as he’s thrown out concepts before I couldn’t do much with at all.

After it was done, they asked me on Friday night to make a few changes. Unfortunately, I wasn’t home. It was 9:00 PM when he sent the email which I didn’t notice. At 10:00 PM, he texted. I worked on a bit later that evening and in the morning we talked on the phone over the changes. Basically, they were afraid I went to town on making the women ugly. Even Amanda thought I could tone it down a little.

So, if you think they’re not very attractive in this version then you should have seen the other one.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Trump Is A Mother

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Here’s this week’s cartoon for CNN’s weekly opinion newsletter, Provoke and Persuade. Be sure to sign up to get those in your inbox every Sunday. It’s free and your subscribing will help me continue to make these for them.

I had already drawn the Conways in bed once this week (along with the cat), but when this idea hit, I liked it too much. I didn’t have to send as many ideas to CNN this week as I have been doing since this was chosen pretty early.

I thought the Mueller Report may have changed our direction and I’d be drawing something else for CNN on Saturday, but they chose to stick with this one. I was glad for that as I really liked it. The only thing I didn’t love was that I removed a detail.

I originally had Trump wearing face cream. My producer and her boss were afraid he wasn’t recognizable, so I removed it. I thought the night cream made it funnier but I didn’t want to ruin the cartoon entirely by people not being able to recognize Trump. I was going to post the other version here but then I realized that if I did, then some people would snipe it and then I’d have two different versions floating around the internet.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

The Conway Mood Killer

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It’s kind of unusual in the new normal that George Conway is a Republican who is still a Republican and not a member of the Trump cult, as the guy is a fierce critic of Donald Trump. What’s even more unusual is that he’s married to Kellyanne Conway, an adviser to Trump on his payroll.

George has gone after Trump several times in the past, most recently this weekend after Trump conducted a Festivus celebration on Twitter and aired his grievances. George accused Trump of being mentally unbalanced and published symptoms of narcissism disorder, with each one fitting Trump. Kellyanne said she didn’t agree with her husband.

Today, Trump said that George is a loser. Now, Kellyanne has a test of loyalty. While disagreeing with her husband about Trump’s mental state, is she going to disagree with her boss that her husband is a loser?

This is a bonus cartoon so you’re just getting the short blog tonight.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Stranger Danger

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The three largest newspapers in Alabama are pleading with the state’s voters not to send Roy Moore to the United States Senate. The Birmingham News, The Mobile Press-Register, and The Huntsville Times (all owned by Alabama Media Group) don’t want the voters to embarrass Alabama.

While we’re wondering how so many people can defend and choose a suspected pedophile over a man who has prosecuted members of the KKK for killing children, let me remind you that this is not new territory.

In 2016 our choices were the most qualified person to ever run for the office of President of the United States and a man who didn’t exhibit any qualifications, knowledge, or capability for the job, and only displayed childish, immature, stupid, racist, and narcissistic tendencies, while spreading conspiracy theories and lies. It not only amazed me that people could be undecided in the days leading up to the election, but on Election Day, many voters chose the stupid candidate and put him in the White House.

Voters polled before the election gave Trump higher marks in honesty than Clinton despite the fact checkers grading over 90 percent of Trump statements as lies. I underestimated the stupidity and pettiness of the American voter. I don’t think we should underestimate it in Alabama.

Roy Moore’s defenders believe there’s a conspiracy against him. They “know” The Washington Post paid women to accuse him of sexual transgressions, one committed against a 14-year-old. They think the Democrats and the Republican establishment are after him.

One defender compared his actions to Joseph being with Mary because Joseph is supposedly older according to their mythology. While arguing he never committed any of the acts he’s accused of, his supporters find ways to justify them. And, then there are those who believe the accusations and still support him.

For Alabama Republicans, being a Democrat and believing in the separation of church and state and the U.S. Constitution is a greater sin than pedophilia. The governor said she believes Moore’s accusers, but she plans to vote for him anyway.

Last week, White House goon Kellyanne Conway said, “there is no Senate seat worth more than a child.” Now, it seems she’s had a change of heart and there is one Senate seat worth more than a child.

The White House and Trump have been very cowardly regarding Moore. Trump was wrong once in his endorsement for Alabama’s Senate seat and he doesn’t want to be wrong again. He’s afraid of upsetting his base, and in Alabama, his polls are extremely high. His supporters might be stupid, but he doesn’t want to lose them.

The White House has been trotting out the argument that Alabama voters need to select their next Senator. They don’t want to explicitly endorse a pedophile, but they also don’t want to discourage people from sending him to Washington.

Yesterday, Conway made comments on Fox & Friends that left even those nitwits confused. They weren’t sure if they should jump on the Moore bandwagon or what. Their directives from the White House are normally much clearer, and they’re not good with subtle hints.

Conway was arguing against Doug Jones, the Democrat facing Moore for the Senate seat. Conway said, “and Doug Jones in Alabama? Folks, don’t be fooled. He’ll be a vote against tax cuts. He’s weak on crime, weak on borders. He’s strong on raising your taxes. He’s terrible for property owners. And Doug Jones is a doctrinaire liberal, which is why he’s not saying anything and why the media are trying to boost him.”

Co-host Brian Kilmeade asked, “so, vote Roy Moore?”

Conway initially seemed confused in how to reply before she responded, “I’m telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through,” and then she remembered the art of deflection and turned it around on Al Franken with, “and if the media were really concerned about all these allegations and that’s what this was truly about … Al Franken would be on the ash heap of bygone, half-funny comedians. He wouldn’t be here on Capitol Hill.”

This is tribalism. They would rather get the worst of the worst and sacrifice their principles to pass their agenda. But, I could be wrong.

Maybe they’ve never had principles.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Collusion Over Coffee

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It’s been a very busy week for bullshit.

First, Vladimir Putin told Trump he didn’t have anything to do with Russia meddling in our election. As if, Russia had Wikileaks hack into the DNC, made attempts to hack into voting systems, placed ads on Facebook and Twitter, sent Russians to hang out with Trump sycophants, and unleashed troll farms, all without Putin being aware of it. Worse yet, Trump believed him.

Then, Jeff Sessions is questioned by Congress again, and tells us his previous lies weren’t lies. There were a lot of “I don’t recalls,” and he explained how he suddenly remembers telling Papadopoulos not to go to Russia at a meeting he doesn’t remember attending.

I’m not sure this administration can match Reagan’s with “I don’t recalls,” but they may beat them in indictments.

And then…Donald Trump Jr, who got really upset every time someone accused the campaign of colluding with Russia, revealed yet another incident of his collusion with Russia.

During the campaign, Jr. was trading messages back and forth with Wikileaks through Twitter. They even asked Jr. to give them his father’s tax returns so they could leak it and pretend they weren’t just going after the Clinton campaign. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

Wikileaks suggested to Jr. that Trump not concede if he lost, and should challenge the results (which he still did after winning). Jr. even emailed Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, and Jared Kushner to tell them Wikileaks just made contact. Jared forwarded that email to Hope Hicks. How often have we seen Kellyanne on TV denying there was any collusion with Russia? Maybe twice?

In keeping with his strategy of not knowing when to shut up, Jr. tweeted out, “Here is the entire chain of messages with @wikileaks9 with my whopping 3 responses) which one of the congressional committees has chosen to selectively leak. How ironic!”

How terrible it must be when someone leaks proof you’re full of shit and a traitor.

Uh, Jr….the fact you replied even once can be described as a whopper. What else can be defined as whopperistic are your denials of collusion. If you were actually transparent you would have revealed this a very long time ago, at least around the time you were calling people liars who accused you of colluding. Or maybe, you could have revealed this after everyone found out you were hosting Russians who were promising dirt on Hillary in Trump Tower.

Jeff Sessions once said “good people don’t smoke marijuana,” but potheads have a better memory than these guys.

People are starting to think maybe Eric isn’t the dumb one after all. At this point, I’m starting to think Carter Page might be related.

Meanwhile, wingnuts are destroying Keurig coffee makers because the company pulled advertising from Sean Hannity’s show when that guy helped deflect Roy Moore’s pedophilia.

Destroying coffee makers should please Kellyanne Conway, who believes kitchen appliances can spy on us.

It’s hard to get cartoon ideas on people who are already cartoons.

Creative notes: Shortish blog today because I need to write ideas for two commissioned projects. Also, I’m not sure if this cartoon is good at all. But, sometimes I’ll go with something if it makes me laugh and I can have fun with it. It’s hard to tell sometimes when you don’t get your idea until 5:00 AM.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Ethics Schmethics

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The Trump administration has taken Kellyanne Conway to task. She’s been scolded, counseled, and has been made to understand her faux pas and will no longer wear white after Labor day.

Looking at the Nutcracker outfit Ms. Conway wore on inauguration day it seems the person who may have the most issue with Kellyanne pimping Ivanka’s fashion line would be Ivanka. Thank you, but no thank you.

Donald Trump promised he would be blind to his business interest. Don’t worry about his hotel on federal property where foreign diplomats will stay and put money in Trump’s pocket. Don’t worry about his sons running his businesses while lodging in the White House. But you’d think Trump’s blindness would carry over toward his daughter, Ivanka’s business. Apparently his eye is on a lot more than her figure.

Ivanka has a line of products with her name. A name famous only for being her father’s name. Ivanka’s fame is not for any accomplishments other than being born a Trump. It’s nice work if you can get it, other than the creepy factor.

Today’s other big news story leads me to believe that if Trump was to model for Ivanka, his favorite color would be red.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Douglass Ratings Massacre

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The White House is full of idiots. Chock full of them.

We have Sean Spicer attempting to convince us not to believe our eyes when it comes to crowd size and that a ban isn’t a ban even after he and the president refer to it as a ban.

There’s the president who goes to a prayer breakfast and asks for everyone to pray for improved ratings for The Apprentice. The new host for the show, Arnold Schwarzenegger, bounced back saying they can switch jobs where Trump can worry about ratings and everyone else can sleep comfortably with Arnold in the White House.

Trump also honored Black History Month by stating Frederick Douglass “is an example of someone who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.” Apparently Trump thinks Douglass is still alive. Does no one in the White House Google anymore? On top of all that he seemed intent on starting a war with Iran, Mexico, or Australia. I know the movie sucked but I don’t think anyone should die for Crocodile Dundee III.

The statement that received the most mockery was when Miss Alternative News herself, Kellyanne Conway, defended the Muslim ban by comparing it to President Obama’s Muslim ban and stated it was a reaction to the Bowling Green massacre. She stated that the massacre didn’t receive much coverage. It probably didn’t receive any coverage because it didn’t happen, or that Obama never enacted a Muslim ban.

Conway later defended her stupidity by saying she meant to say “terrorists” and not “massacre.” Yeah, the problem with that excuse is that she mistakenly replaced people with an event. That’s like sending your husband to the store to buy toilet paper and he returns with a plumber. Even their excuses suck.

Chelsea Clinton jabbed at Conway through Twitter with “Very grateful no one seriously hurt in the Louvre attack …or the (completely fake) Bowling Green Massacre. Please don’t make up attacks.” That provoked a reaction from Conway to remind Chelsea that her mother lost the election. Of course she didn’t bring up the fact that Chelsea’s mom got more votes than Conway’s daddy.

It’s hard to have a good comeback when you’re the one in the wrong, or you’ve been busted creating and peddling a lie. We’re gonna have four years of this apparently. Four years of daily lies. It’s kinda tough to be taken seriously when you’re representing and speaking for a joke. As long as you’re paid to lie, people are going to make fun of you. How ridiculous does one have to be to get burned by Chelsea Clinton?

They’re already pushing bad policies. You can’t justify a policy by using events that never happened. Maybe Trump should stop flying in Air Force One because terrorists took it over in that Harrison Ford movie. That just makes me sad that Harrison Ford isn’t president…or anyone else who isn’t Donald Trump.

An actual massacre did happen last week in Canada when a Trump supporter killed several Muslims in a mosque. The Trump administration has totally ignored that event but they did make statements about a failed attack by a Muslim with a machete in Paris.

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