Ivanka Trump

Generals And Handbags


cjones08082017

Occasionally I’ll make a sarcastic post on social media, and last week I wrote, “Ivanka Trump is excited to work “alongside” Kelly. I’m sure the GENERAL is excited to be working alongside a mediocre fashion designer.”

I also posted, “If anyone looked at me the way Mike Pence looks at Donald Trump, I’d get a restraining order.” Seriously, the guy has an expression of warm satisfaction as though he just made a boom-boom. But that’s an issue for another day.

My comment about Ivanka got a lot of responses, and it gave me this idea. I usually don’t make a post on social media that I’ll use later for a cartoon, but I thought of the cartoon after I mouthed off.

Maybe we are making too much out of Ivanka’s tweet about working “alongside” the general, but it illustrates just how absurd and ridiculous this administration conducts itself. The people Donald Trump has placed in his administration are ludicrous. The rapper Ludacris couldn’t create a more ludicrous staff than Trump.

During the campaign, I heard people say they would vote for Trump because they were pro-military. Trump often states how much he respects the military. Trump doesn’t respect anything, and his actions prove he doesn’t respect the office he holds. The man insulted a former P.O.W. and Gold Star parents. Placing his inexperienced daughter “alongside” a general is further disrespect. A highly-decorated and accomplished general supposedly shares the same status and access to the president as a fashion designer, or in Ivanka’s case, someone who pilfers designs from other designers and then has the products made by eight-year-old children in China.

President John F. Kennedy practiced nepotism when he made his brother the Attorney General, but at least in that case, you could believe Robert Kennedy could actually do the job. Other than Trump sycophants, who believes Ivanka Trump can shape or even understand policy? We can’t expect her influence to be positive as her silence after Trump’s sexist attack on Mika Brzezinski makes her complicit.

Her husband and Trump’s son-in-law is further nepotism you can’t have any faith in. The “kid” has a larger staff than the Secretary of State. Trump has placed him in charge of finding peace in the Middle East (because he’s Jewish), advising the president, reinventing government (The Office of American Innovation), being a “shadow” diplomat, solving the opioid epidemic, handling diplomacy with Mexico and China, “reimagining” Veteran Affairs, reforming the criminal justice system, and laying out the president’s clothes in the morning.

Our confidence that 36-year-old Jared can accomplish any of the above duties is undermined by his defense of meeting Russians which was, “I’m a novice to politics and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” How can the guy be expected to do any of those duties when he’s too busy rewriting his security clearance on a daily basis?

Even Don Jr. is in on the nepotism action, even though he’s supposed to be running the Trump Corporation and separated from what’s going on in the White House.

Everyone’s excited about General John Kelly taking over as Chief of Staff. He’s cleaning house a little by getting rid of Anthony Scaramucci and a few other people that the adults didn’t want on the National Security Council. According to reports, all briefs and information has to go through him before it reaches Trump (maybe no more breaking Breitbart news), he’s shutting the door to the Oval Office so “stragglers” won’t enter to put stupid ideas into the president’s head (though he’s capable of doing that on his own), he’s cutting off people in mid-sentence when they’re rambling, and more importantly, everyone has to go through him before meeting with the president, even Ivanka and Jared. I don’t buy that last one. Where will the General be at 8:37 PM when little princess goes up to see daddy? Can the General get Trump to stop watching Fox And Friends?

Kelly has brought structure and discipline to the Oval Office. Trump has never practiced structure, discipline, or sense in his professional or private life. He’s going to hate it and Kelly won’t last beyond six months. Besides, how much structure is he really bringing with the ilk of Steve Bannon, Stephen Miller, and Kellyanne Conway still hanging about?

You can’t shine a turd. Kelly would have more success in getting “presidential” out of a nutless monkey than he will from Donald Trump.

Creative notes: I was supposedly taking yesterday off, but I drew a cartoon in the morning. This cartoon is kind of a bonus cartoon, because I’m drawing another tonight. While I wanted to do this, I think there are a few more pressing issues I want to cover. I haven’t decided which one yet (so much fuckery).  I’m hoping between now and drawing tonight that I eat something and take a nap.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Briefed By Ivanka


cjones05012017

Saudi Arabia is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman. Women can’t drive, vote, ask for a divorce, or even be seen in public without being in the company of a man. It’s like every woman in the nation is married to Mike Pence.

The United Nations has placed Saudi Arabia on the Women’s Rights Commission which made a lot of people say “you put who where now?”. The Arab kingdom mandates discrimination against women. How does it make any sense to put them on a commission for women’s rights? That would be like putting Iran on that commission except they’ve already done that.

Maybe there is a method to the madness. Perhaps putting these horrible regimes on a commission with nations that do not require women to conceal their faces can be an influence. Perhaps they’ll see how the modern world treats people and just how ass backwards they are.

Did German Chancellor Angela Merkel apply the same method in inviting Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, to a women’s empowerment panel in Berlin? The other women on the panel were International Monetary Fund director Christine Lagarde, and Canadian Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland. Merkel, Lagarde, and Freeland were on the panel because of their accomplishments and the fact that they’re world leaders. None of the three achieved their accomplishments through nepotism. Those leaders have earned their place. Ivanka was born into hers.

The moderator asked Ivanka who she was representing, President Trump, the American people, or her own business interests. What she should have been asked was: What qualifies you for a job in the White House? What is it that you actually do in dad’s administration? What the Hell are you doing on this panel?

Ivanka dismisses the media’s coverage of her father’s bigotry and callousness toward women. She blames the media. She doesn’t blame the man who bragged on a bus about grabbing vaginas and moving on a woman “like a bitch.” She doesn’t blame the man who told a contestant on his reality show that it would be a pretty sight to see her on her knees. She doesn’t blame the man who has called Rosie O’Donnell a pig and said that Megyn Kelly had “blood in her eyes” and “blood coming out of her wherever.” She doesn’t blame the guy who looked at a child and said “I’ll be dating her in ten years.” She doesn’t blame the guy who once said that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d be dating her.

Instead she talks about how daddy is great toward women because he promoted her in his business. If only every woman in America was Donald Trump’s daughter. The only bad part of that would be that he’d want to date them and he’d go on a talk show while they’re infants and speculate on how large their breasts will become.

Ivanka says her dad is in favor of a paid-family-leave plan. So when’s he going to push that through Congress? Where was her influence when he was trying to cut funding to Planned Parenthood?

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump hosted the House Freedom Caucus to discuss healthcare, including those that affect women’s health benefits, and there were no women present? Sure, Ivanka shows up if she can sit next to Merkel or Justin Trudeau.

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump chose his nearly-all-male and white cabinet? Was it the dressing in drag skit that kept Giuliani out of the administration?

Perhaps Ivanka was too focused on her brand, where the bulk of it is made in Africa and Asia, mostly by women who are paid chump change. According to The Washington Postworkers in a factory in China, which holds an exclusive license to produce Ivanka Trump crap, works their workers 60 hours a week for a salary of $62.

So no. Ivanka does not belong on a panel discussing empowering women anymore than Saudi Arabia belongs on a commission for women’s rights. She’s empowered herself. She’s a billion-dollar princess who, like her brothers, got where she is through birth. Now they’re bringing their nepotism and conflicts of interest to our government as if we are a monarchy.

Saudi Arabia on a women’s right’s panel, and Ivanka in a women empowerment discussion with women who are actually accomplished is confusing. It’s as confusing as the fact that more women voted for Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton.

C’mon, ladies. Help yourselves out here.

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Cooties And Nepotism


cjones04052017

It’s not just monarchs who appoint family members to government positions. Rogue nations and fascist governments do it too. Take a look at North Korea. Except there your cousin’s job performance evaluation might get you a firing squad.

Now I doubt any Trump family members will face firing squads. Maybe an ex-wife. But this business of doling out posts to his kids is insanity. It’s ridiculous for a world leader to visit the White House and be forced to sit between Donald and his little princess.

I know it’s probably fun to go all Violet Beauregarde and get whatever you want. Daddy, I want a pony. Daddy, I want a chocolate factory. Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. Well, Ivanka, you already have an Oompa Loompa so you don’t need an office next to the oval one.

Ivanka and her husband and White House senior adviser, Jared (who owns one of my client newspapers), are worth at least $740 million. Neither has separated themselves from their businesses, like Donald. They’re not escaping conflicts of interest. I’m not comfortable with just trusting them.

I would like for the people in the White House to be there because they’re qualified, not because they’re related or married into it. But then again, I can’t think of anyone currently working in the White House who is qualified to be there.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Ethics Schmethics


cjones02122017

The Trump administration has taken Kellyanne Conway to task. She’s been scolded, counseled, and has been made to understand her faux pas and will no longer wear white after Labor day.

Looking at the Nutcracker outfit Ms. Conway wore on inauguration day it seems the person who may have the most issue with Kellyanne pimping Ivanka’s fashion line would be Ivanka. Thank you, but no thank you.

Donald Trump promised he would be blind to his business interest. Don’t worry about his hotel on federal property where foreign diplomats will stay and put money in Trump’s pocket. Don’t worry about his sons running his businesses while lodging in the White House. But you’d think Trump’s blindness would carry over toward his daughter, Ivanka’s business. Apparently his eye is on a lot more than her figure.

Ivanka has a line of products with her name. A name famous only for being her father’s name. Ivanka’s fame is not for any accomplishments other than being born a Trump. It’s nice work if you can get it, other than the creepy factor.

Today’s other big news story leads me to believe that if Trump was to model for Ivanka, his favorite color would be red.

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Killers In Fashion


cjones02092017

Donald Trump didn’t tweet about the terrorist Trump supporter who killed several Muslims in Quebec City. But Nordstrom drops his daughter’s line of crap and that motivates him to tweet.

Last weekend during an interview on Fox News Bill O’Reilly made the comment that Vladimir Putin is a killer. Trump replied “You got a lot of killers. “What, you think our country’s so innocent?”

Ugh.

No. America isn’t so innocent. America has a legacy of slavery, interning Japanese-American citizens in World War II, voter suppression, and engineering coups in other nations. But we don’t have presidents killing critics, journalists, or imprisoning girl bands. At least not yet.

Our president isn’t just equating our nation with Russia and their president who was an agent for the KGB, he’s elevating him. Remember when Republicans perpetuated the myth of Obama’s apology tour for America? The majority of those Republicans are silent as Trump slimes our nation.

It’s amazing the depths Trump will go in defending Vladimir Putin. Today the administration failed to answer questions about Russia’s largest delivery to date of missiles to Syria. But judges and Nordstrom needed to be taken down a peg or two.

Trump first attacked an appeals court for listening to arguments on his travel ban. After that outrage he took to his personal, and official presidential twitter accounts, to attack Nordstrom for dropping Ivanka’s line of clothing and jewelry, and whatever the hell else she puts her names on.

The Trump administration is also making it easier for animal breeders to abuse dogs, cats, horses, etc., by removing the USDA’s database on animal welfare records. Did Eric Trump just buy a Schnauzer farm?

Trump promised us that he wasn’t going to worry about his businesses while he was president. It would all be in a “blind” trust run by his sons. He wouldn’t even know what’s going on in that area. He’d just focus on his presidential duties…and no. The conflicts continue. Ignore his business? He can’t ignore his daughter’s. The lies continue.

Nordstrom most likely dropped Ivanka’s stuff because it doesn’t sell. Trump claims they’re attacking her personally and destroying her name because they don’t like his policies. That does sound a lot better than “nobody wants your crap.”

You know that crap Ivanka sells? It’s products that are NOT made in the United States for a corporation that doesn’t have a maternity leave policy. Maybe those are policies consumers have issues with.

Maybe someone should tell Donald Trump that capitalism isn’t always fair.

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Enabler


cjones05112016

Just in case anyone doesn’t believe Donald Trump is a truly horrible, hideous, impersonation of a human being, he’s taken to blaming Hillary Clinton for her husband’s infidelity. At a rally Trump accused Hillary Clinton of trying to “destroy the lives” of her husband’s accusers. “She was an unbelievably nasty, mean enabler, and what she did to a lot of those women is disgraceful,” he said. Of course he didn’t offer any evidence.

Where would someone get the impression that Hillary Clinton tried to destroy the lives of her husband’s accusers? From the accusers of course.

I’m not a fan of attempting to discredit those who claim sexual harassment, abuse, and rape. I support investigating the charges. But when those making the accusations are selling books, interviews and nude layouts, well…let’s take a look at these accusers attacking Hillary.

Gennifer Flowers has made the claim that Hillary enabled Bill. Flowers definitely had an affair with Clinton but can’t offer any evidence that Hillary was aware of the affair, or attempted to destroy her. Floweres profited from the affair, selling the story to Penthouse (along with a nude pictorial) and the tabloid Star Magazine. She also did the talk show circuit, wrote an autobiography, and starred in two movies and a TV show. She even put the answering machine tapes she claimed were from Bill Clinton up for auction. So hey, it’s not like there’s anything to gain and her word should totally be trusted, right?

Kathleen Willey claims Bill Clinton sexually assaulted her and that Hillary, wait for it, enabled it. That’s a very serious charge not to be taken lightly. After the alleged assault took place Willey sent 15 letters and 12 phone messages for President Clinton requesting further contact. Since then Willey also wrote a book about her and the president. Today Willey is the paid spokeswoman of an organization formed by Trump’s close friend and political adviser, Roger Stone, called Rape Pac, but it was formerly titled “Women Against Hillary.” Willey sounds credible to me (insert eye roll).

Juanita Broaddrick claims she was raped by Clinton. Guess who she says enabled that. Guess who Broaddrick is actively campaigning for? I’ll give you a hint: He has his own helicopter with his name on it, but he doesn’t sell steaks.

Paula Jones claims Clinton sexually harassed her while he was governor of Arkansas and that Hillary enabled it. She sued Clinton over it and and eventually settled out of court, after it was dismissed when Jones failed to demonstrate any damages. Later a donor paid for her to get rhinoplasty and she posed for Penthouse Magazine. She’s a vocal supporter of Donald Trump and even took a selfie with him.

What about Monica Lewinsky. She’s not campaigning for Trump and hasn’t done any nude layouts. I haven’t seen any evidence of her campaigning against Hillary. She avoided talking about her affair with Clinton for over a decade. She actually tried to hide from the public and when she finally wrote about it, for Vanity Fair, her article was more about the aftermath of the scandal and the bullying and public shaming she received. Regarding Hillary, Lewinsky wrote “I find her impulse to blame the Woman – not only me, but herself – troubling.” That doesn’t sound so much like attempting to destroy someone as much as it is about blaming. But let’s see, sleep with a man and his wife doesn’t have nice things to say about you. Go figure. You’d think Hillary would be buying her handbags.

Being betrayed can mentally abuse a person. They may lash out and even blame themselves. For another individual, an outsider, to blame the spouse is heartless and inhumane. Attempting to benefit politically is disgusting.

I suppose if the extent of your tax plan is “I’m going to tax the rich and they’ll pay much less money” then I suppose you’re going to state a lot of crap to distract. I mean, what if someone asked Trump about something specific? Even worse, what if someone asks the Donald about his own infidelities?

The Republican War On Women continues.

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The Sheer Ickiness Of Donald Trump


cjones09122015

My son is a handsome man. Most parents, mothers and fathers would say that about their child. You can say your daughter is beautiful. You can’t say you’d date them. That’s exactly what Donald Trump said about his daughter, Ivanka, in addition to saying she has the “best body.” Ew!

And he’s made comments about dating his daughter several times over the years.  In 2003 he talked about her body. In 2006 he said “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” Recently in Rolling Stone he said “Yeah, she’s really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father …” Though he made that last comment to Rolling Stone the magazine, if he had said it to the Rolling Stone Mick Jagger even he probably would have thrown up in his mouth.

Trump needs to stop talking about women and their looks. He’s insulted Rosie O’Donnell and other women by calling them “slobs,” “fat pigs,” “dogs,” and “disgusting animals.” Earlier this week he basically called Republican presidential candidate and failed CEO Carly Fiorina ugly.

A lot of Republicans were upset. Some of these are the same Republicans who thrive on insulting Hillary Clinton with age, wrinkle and cankle jokes. They also like to insult Michelle Obama. I don’t really get that as neither of these two women are unattractive, but maybe that’s why they photo shop pictures of Obama and email chain them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Republicans pick and choose what’s unfair, uncalled for, inappropriate and disgusting, failing to see that maybe Trump represents what they really are as a party. A bunch of sexist-misogynistic pigs. When you add that to homophobia and racism you’re dealing with a full plate of hatred.

There are times that insults about appearance is OK. I’ll explain it for the slow learners out there.

First rule, don’t insult a woman’s appearance. The only exception is if she chooses to look ridiculous like wearing a clown suit. But the standard rule is don’t. It’s unmanly and you’re not being a gentleman. You’re being a slob.

Why is it OK to make fun of Trump’s hair? Because Trump CHOOSES to style his hair like that. Comb overs are fair game.

Is it OK to make fun of Chris Christie’s weight? Normally, no. But when he makes comments about others dependency and lack of self control, then you can have it. Plus, it’s really hard not to make a comment when he wears a skin tight baseball uniform and he rocks the male camel toe. Someone buy the man a mirror.

The other rule is it’s OK to caricature someone ugly if you do it with everyone. Caricatures aren’t ever really attractive. People ask me all the time to draw them and I initially refuse. I’ve made enemies and lost friends with caricatures. And you never ever ever ever caricature a girl you’re dating or married to. That’s like a weight comment multiplied by 50.

About 20 years ago I was paid to caricature at a debutante ball. I was paid pretty well for the mid-90’s but it was somebody’s dumb idea. I got the subject from Hell in a cancer-surviving-teenage girl. She was bald. They didn’t invite me back.