Classified

Puttin’ Around in Putin’s Basement


Vladimir Putin believed Ukraine was going to launch a new offensive in the south, so he deployed troops from the northeast of Ukraine to defend the south…and Ukraine then launched a major offensive in the northeast. Ukraine played rope-a-dope and Putin was the dope.

Ukraine forces were able to recapture dozens of villages and towns in over 6,000 sq kilometers (2,300 sq miles) of what is formerly Russian-occupied territory. The only people left who probably still believe Putin is a war genius are those bought and paid for by Putin, like Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, Ted Rall, etc.

Now, even pro-Kremlin Russians are starting to question the war. We’ll see how long their health holds out.

This is Putin’s war. It’s obviously clear to everyone, especially to Russian soldiers fighting this war, that Vladimir Putin doesn’t care about anyone except Vladimir Putin. His own troops are describing themselves as “cannon fodder” for Putin. It’s not just Ukrainian elementary schools, hospitals, and apartment buildings Putin is willing to sacrifice, but his own people.

If this keeps up, Putin will be removed from power. He started this war over a lie (Nazis in Ukraine) and will keep lying to fight it. It’s hard to lie to his people that Russia’s winning when husbands, brothers, and sons aren’t coming home. Putin is getting so desperate that he has to purchase weapons from Iran and North Korea which violates all sorts of sanctions.

How far will Putin go to win this war and save face…and save his power? Will he go nuclear? Could that be assisted in any way by secrets provided by Donald Trump? it’s very plausible that Putin gained access to the classified documents Trump stole. We have to ask again: Why did Trump take these documents? Why? It’s a question Republicans should start asking, you know, if they were actual patriots and not sycophantic cultish butt boys.

Music Note: I listened to The Cars, but only songs sung by Ben Orr.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Here Comes The Boom


Months before the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump repeatedly barked about impending voter fraud and the possibility it would “steal” the election for Biden. What Donald Trump was doing was setting up a narrative so that when he lost, because he knew he was going to lose, he wouldn’t have to admit defeat and could blame non-existent voter fraud.

Donald Trump legitimately lost the 2020 election. There is no doubt to that and there is not one shred of evidence that even suggest Donald Trump won and had it stolen from him. Anyone still claiming Trump won is a liar, idiot, or just someone who wants to believe lies. And Donald Trump used the lie to attempt a coup and retain power. He was able to do this from the narrative he created before the election. He’s doing it again.

Trump is dropping hints about the FBI planting evidence during their warranted search of his home at his golf resort, Mar-a-Lago. But if they planted evidence, Donald Trump would already know it’s on the list because he has the list.

Donald Trump knows there’s something bad on the list he doesn’t want to be held accountable for. He doesn’t want his supporters to see it. But when they do see it, he will get to blame the FBI and claim it was planted. His lunatics will believe this. MAGAts are dumb enough to believe a president (sic) who didn’t win the popular vote the first time, ruined an economy, downplayed a virus that killed hundreds of thousands, spent four years barking hate while endorsing pedophiles, said good people marched with Nazis, saw unemployment reach above 13 percent, and never had an approval rating above 50 percent won reelection.

His lunatics don’t ask questions. They don’t ask why Donald Trump hasn’t released the list himself while they’re screaming for the FBI to be transparent. They don’t ask why there were still items to seize at Mar-a-Lago if Donald Trump was cooperating with the FBI. They don’t even ask why Donald Trump took classified documents to Mar-a-Lago. They don’t even ask why he took documents that didn’t belong to him.

And if it’s true Donald Trump took classified information that pertains to nuclear weapons, they won’t ask why he took that.

Even for Trump, doing something devious with nuclear information seems far-fatched. But before January, 2020, did we think it was outside the realm of possibility he would engineer a coup attempt and send a white nationaist mob to attack his own government?

We’re going to learn a lot more today at 3 p.m. That’s Trump’s deadline to appeal Merrick Garland’s petition to unseal the search warrant. Trump says he won’t block it but we’ve heard that before, like when he said he won’t plead the Fifth in a deposition, then pleads it over 400 times. He said he couldn’t wait to testify before Robert Mueller, then later blamed his lawyers for not letting him. He can come out later today and say he wanted to unseal it but his lawyers advised against it. Just wait. He’s good at setting shit up and he did that last night by saying he wanted the warrant to be released to the public. He doesn’t. I honestly can’t predict if he’ll block it today or not.

He can block it and blame his lawyers or let it be unsealed and say, “A-ha! There’s planted evidence! That Swedish-made penis enlarger is not my bag, baby.” We’ll have to wait and see.

Merrick Garland owned Trump yesterday. Garland is playing chess while Donald Trump is playing go fish.

Republicans are angry that the government seized government documents but not angry at the guy who stole them. Go fish.

Republicans have spent the week attacking the FBI demanding transparency. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy told Garland to clear his calendar for upcoming hearings on this matter if the GOP takes the House this November. He also said for Garland to “save the documents” without detecting any irony in the statement. And then Merrick Garland announced yesterday that he was going to court to make the documents public. He’s doing exactly what Republicans have demanded…and they don’t like it.

It’s called “calling one’s bluff.” Garland is playing Texas hold ’em and the GOP is playing Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Donald Trump says he wants the court to unseal the warrant and the list of items seized. But he doesn’t have to wait for the court to do that because he can release it himself. Right now, I bet Trump is kinda wishing he and Mitch McConnell had let Merrick Garland have that Supreme Court seat.

Talk about coming back to bite you in the ass. Are you loving this as much as I am?

Music note: I listened to the Red Hot Chili Peppers again.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Flushles The President


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Wouldn’t it be funny if the flushed documents thing is just a ruse to cover up that it’s Donald Trump naturally clogging all the White House toilets? Think about it. He can’t keep his teeth in his mouth and he eats nothing but Big Macs and KFC. It’s highly unlikely he’s chewing his food.

New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman has a new book, Confidence Man, which reports that White House staffers would periodically find toilets in the president’s (sic) residence clogged with paper.

While in office, Trump would tear up documents and staffers would routinely tape them back together. After he was defeated in the 2020 election and left town before the Biden inauguration, he took at least 15 boxes of documents with him to Mar-a-Lago, perhaps to feed to bedbugs. Now, we find out he was also flushing documents while in the White House.

Naturally, Donald Trump issued a statement denying the flushing which means he probably left floaters for others to discover throughout his entire life. Trump was here. He could probably take a dump on 5th Avenue and not lose any supporters.

Trump’s statement said, “Another fake story, that I flushed papers and documents down a White House toilet, is categorically untrue and simply made up by a reporter in order to get publicity for a mostly fictitious book.” If this continues the pattern from every Trump statement before it, that means the allegations in Haberman’s book are true.

Destroying these documents is a violation of the Presidential Records Act. The House Oversight Committee is investigating the 15 boxes Trump stole and took to Mar-a-Lago and the National Archives have asked the Justice Department to investigate whether Trump’s handling of these official records violated federal law. Joe the Plumber has not released a statement.

In 2019 at a business roundtable, Donald Trump went on a rant about showers, sinks, faucets, and toilets. Everyone speculated that he was probably talking about water flow when he said, “People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.” But now, I guess he was talking about the great difficulty in flushing government documents and not just undigested chicken bones from KFC.

I guess what Poopsie was talking about was that America needs larger toilets for larger loads. Big ass toilets made with big flushes for big asses would truly make American great again.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Spy Vs Orange Spy


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Here’s a catch-22 for Donald Trump. He can say the press is right that a spy was extracted from the Kremlin out of fears his big, fat, treasonous mouth would expose him to Vladimir Putin, or he can say the media is wrong and he was pulled out because details in their reporting of Russian meddling in the 2016 election was exposing the spy. Option one admits he’s a threat to national security either inadvertently out of stupidity or on purpose out of treason. If he picks option two, he admits there was Russian meddling. Donald Trump is not smart enough to catch or wiggle his way around that. Neither are his supporters. Go have fun with that today, kids while arguing on social media with the fucknuts.

The CIA is saying the press got it wrong and he was extracted because of option two and journalists picked up details about the CIA’s Kremlin sources. But, the CIA offered to pull the spy out in 2016 and he refused. They offered again in 2017 after Donald Trump was elected, and the spy accepted. And why wouldn’t he?

Donald Trump gives Russia preferential treatment over the United States. If you don’t believe me, just look at his reactions to the Russia investigation. Donald Trump created a lie that President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. Then, he created a lie that the FBI planted a spy into his presidential campaign. Vladimir Putin did actually try, and maybe succeeded, in planting a spy in the Trump Campaign and President Dotard has never expressed any emotion over that or has even acknowledged it. That’d be like getting upset over an imaginary dog peeing on your tires after a Gorilla took a crap on your back seat.

Decades ago, the CIA recruited a midlevel Russian official who then advanced through the government’s ranks. The agency struck gold as he eventually gained access to the highest levels of the Kremlin. He became one of the CIA’s most important, and protected assets during the 2016 presidential election. He was protected to the point that he was not included in any of President Obama’s daily briefings so to limit the number of people with knowledge of the spy, and instead separate intelligence reports were sent to the president in specially-sealed envelopes.

The spy was able to confirm that Putin ordered and orchestrated Russia’s interference in our election himself and that the Russian president affirmatively favored Trump and personally ordered the hacking of the Democratic National Committee.

How do you think Putin would have reacted to catching a spy in the Kremlin? In March 2018, Russia poisoned a former spy and his daughter…in England.

So, if you’re a spy in the Kremlin feeding information to the CIA, you may feel a little nervous with an American presidential candidate praising Putin repeatedly while disparaging his own president. After that candidate is elected, you would probably get the night sweats. After seeing that president reveal classified information to the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval freaking Office, you would probably call the CIA and scream, “Get me the fuck out of here.”

If the spy wasn’t extracted by the Helsinki Summit, he may have thrown own ass off a building.

Donald Trump has had private, closed-door meetings with Putin. Trump has talked to Putin with only the Russian’s interpreter present. Trump has ordered an American interpreter to burn her notes after a closed-door session with Putin. Trump, while standing next to Putin, took his word that Russia didn’t meddle in our election over that of America’s intelligence agencies. Donald Trump, according to reports, even offered Putin a bribe to erect a Trump Tower in Moscow when he was a presidential candidate (instead, Putin bought Trump). Last week, Donald Trump tweeted a classified photo. So yeah, I’m sure that spy wanted out of Russia all because of the U.S. media.

Here’s a fun fact: Donald Trump has only polled above 50% in two nations and one of them is not the United States. One of those nations is Israel and I’ll give you only one guess for the other. If you’re a Republican, I’ll give you a hint: There’s been a few mentions of it already in today’s blog. Hey, I said only one hint.

The spy’s identity and location have not been reported. For his safety, let’s hope Donald Trump hasn’t been told.

Creative notes: I use two copy editors for my cartoons, Laura and Hilary. They’re wonderful. They both caught “by who” in this cartoon and said “by whom” is correct. But, they both said to keep “by who.” Laura said that nobody talks that way and “by whom” sounds “stilted.” Hilary wasn’t as delicate and said “by whom,” and I’m quoting her here…sounds “douchey.”

I love them.

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As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Coughing On Trump


cjones06202019

Aliens did not crash land in Roswell, New Mexico and there were no alien autopsies. How do I know this? Because Donald Trump hasn’t blabbed out that there were.

Donald Trump has a big mouth and telling him anything is dangerous. Plus, he’s not inhibited by any ethics or responsibility and will use anything to help him politically or merely to boost his own ego. The man in the most important office in the world is constantly telling us how important he is.

Shortly after assuming office, Trump hosted the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval Office. He didn’t allow American media into the room, but he did allow the Russian press along with all their recording equipment. There, he boasted to the Russians classified intelligence about Syria. The intelligence wasn’t even his to give as it had been provided to us by an ally.

A top European intelligence official said that sharing of intelligence with the United States would cease if the country confirms that Trump did indeed share classified information with Russia because “sharing intel with Americans while Trump is president could put their sources at risk.”

Burkhard Lichka, a member of the German Bundestag’s Intelligence Oversight Committee was even more blunt. He said that if Trump “passes this information to other governments at will, then Trump becomes a security risk for the entire western world.” Trust me, there are a lot of reasons Donald Trump is a security risk for the entire western world.

The New York Times reported that the United States has increased measures to penetrate Russia’s power grid as a message to Moscow to stay out of American cyberinfrastructure. The juiciest part of this is that, according to reports, Intelligence didn’t inform Trump out of fear he’d leak it, either because he has a big mouth or that he would want to warn the Russians. Basically, American Intelligence views Donald Trump as a security risk for the entire western world.

Trump denied the report by tweeting, “a virtual act of Treason by a once great paper so desperate for a story, any story, even if bad for our Country.” I don’t know why he capitalized “treason” and “country.” He also tweeted, “These are true cowards and without doubt, THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE!” No. What are treason and the enemy of the people is a guy who will calls out to foreign nations that he’ll accept dirt on his political opponents to help him politically. Also, it appears that American Intelligence is afraid Trump will act in a treasonous way that would make him the enemy of the American people.

But, let me ask you this; How can Trump deny the report if Intelligence isn’t informing him?

Proving he can’t be trusted, yesterday, Trump tweeted out that ICE was about to stage a major operation to apprehend millions of undocumented immigrants. Hey, thanks for the heads-up, Donald.

What is not classified is that Donald Trump is a stupid asshole.

During an interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos, while talking about his taxes, Trump interrupted himself to scold “acting” chief-of-staff Mick Mulvaney for coughing. After kicking the Mick out of the room, Trump continued to beef about the coughing.

What Mulvaney may have been doing was attempting to tell Trump to shut up about his taxes. He used a cough since he wasn’t seated next to him and couldn’t kick him under the table. Trump probably would have cried about that too.

“So, in my taxes, where there are no details of payments from Russia or to their hookers for when they peed all over me and…wait…who’s kicking me? What a jerk!”

In the past, Trump has actually kicked a baby out of one of his rallies for crying.

There’s only room for one big-mouth baby when Donald Trump is in the room.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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