Classified

Spy Vs Orange Spy


cjones09172019

Here’s a catch-22 for Donald Trump. He can say the press is right that a spy was extracted from the Kremlin out of fears his big, fat, treasonous mouth would expose him to Vladimir Putin, or he can say the media is wrong and he was pulled out because details in their reporting of Russian meddling in the 2016 election was exposing the spy. Option one admits he’s a threat to national security either inadvertently out of stupidity or on purpose out of treason. If he picks option two, he admits there was Russian meddling. Donald Trump is not smart enough to catch or wiggle his way around that. Neither are his supporters. Go have fun with that today, kids while arguing on social media with the fucknuts.

The CIA is saying the press got it wrong and he was extracted because of option two and journalists picked up details about the CIA’s Kremlin sources. But, the CIA offered to pull the spy out in 2016 and he refused. They offered again in 2017 after Donald Trump was elected, and the spy accepted. And why wouldn’t he?

Donald Trump gives Russia preferential treatment over the United States. If you don’t believe me, just look at his reactions to the Russia investigation. Donald Trump created a lie that President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. Then, he created a lie that the FBI planted a spy into his presidential campaign. Vladimir Putin did actually try, and maybe succeeded, in planting a spy in the Trump Campaign and President Dotard has never expressed any emotion over that or has even acknowledged it. That’d be like getting upset over an imaginary dog peeing on your tires after a Gorilla took a crap on your back seat.

Decades ago, the CIA recruited a midlevel Russian official who then advanced through the government’s ranks. The agency struck gold as he eventually gained access to the highest levels of the Kremlin. He became one of the CIA’s most important, and protected assets during the 2016 presidential election. He was protected to the point that he was not included in any of President Obama’s daily briefings so to limit the number of people with knowledge of the spy, and instead separate intelligence reports were sent to the president in specially-sealed envelopes.

The spy was able to confirm that Putin ordered and orchestrated Russia’s interference in our election himself and that the Russian president affirmatively favored Trump and personally ordered the hacking of the Democratic National Committee.

How do you think Putin would have reacted to catching a spy in the Kremlin? In March 2018, Russia poisoned a former spy and his daughter…in England.

So, if you’re a spy in the Kremlin feeding information to the CIA, you may feel a little nervous with an American presidential candidate praising Putin repeatedly while disparaging his own president. After that candidate is elected, you would probably get the night sweats. After seeing that president reveal classified information to the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval freaking Office, you would probably call the CIA and scream, “Get me the fuck out of here.”

If the spy wasn’t extracted by the Helsinki Summit, he may have thrown own ass off a building.

Donald Trump has had private, closed-door meetings with Putin. Trump has talked to Putin with only the Russian’s interpreter present. Trump has ordered an American interpreter to burn her notes after a closed-door session with Putin. Trump, while standing next to Putin, took his word that Russia didn’t meddle in our election over that of America’s intelligence agencies. Donald Trump, according to reports, even offered Putin a bribe to erect a Trump Tower in Moscow when he was a presidential candidate (instead, Putin bought Trump). Last week, Donald Trump tweeted a classified photo. So yeah, I’m sure that spy wanted out of Russia all because of the U.S. media.

Here’s a fun fact: Donald Trump has only polled above 50% in two nations and one of them is not the United States. One of those nations is Israel and I’ll give you only one guess for the other. If you’re a Republican, I’ll give you a hint: There’s been a few mentions of it already in today’s blog. Hey, I said only one hint.

The spy’s identity and location have not been reported. For his safety, let’s hope Donald Trump hasn’t been told.

Creative notes: I use two copy editors for my cartoons, Laura and Hilary. They’re wonderful. They both caught “by who” in this cartoon and said “by whom” is correct. But, they both said to keep “by who.” Laura said that nobody talks that way and “by whom” sounds “stilted.” Hilary wasn’t as delicate and said “by whom,” and I’m quoting her here…sounds “douchey.”

I love them.

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Coughing On Trump


cjones06202019

Aliens did not crash land in Roswell, New Mexico and there were no alien autopsies. How do I know this? Because Donald Trump hasn’t blabbed out that there were.

Donald Trump has a big mouth and telling him anything is dangerous. Plus, he’s not inhibited by any ethics or responsibility and will use anything to help him politically or merely to boost his own ego. The man in the most important office in the world is constantly telling us how important he is.

Shortly after assuming office, Trump hosted the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval Office. He didn’t allow American media into the room, but he did allow the Russian press along with all their recording equipment. There, he boasted to the Russians classified intelligence about Syria. The intelligence wasn’t even his to give as it had been provided to us by an ally.

A top European intelligence official said that sharing of intelligence with the United States would cease if the country confirms that Trump did indeed share classified information with Russia because “sharing intel with Americans while Trump is president could put their sources at risk.”

Burkhard Lichka, a member of the German Bundestag’s Intelligence Oversight Committee was even more blunt. He said that if Trump “passes this information to other governments at will, then Trump becomes a security risk for the entire western world.” Trust me, there are a lot of reasons Donald Trump is a security risk for the entire western world.

The New York Times reported that the United States has increased measures to penetrate Russia’s power grid as a message to Moscow to stay out of American cyberinfrastructure. The juiciest part of this is that, according to reports, Intelligence didn’t inform Trump out of fear he’d leak it, either because he has a big mouth or that he would want to warn the Russians. Basically, American Intelligence views Donald Trump as a security risk for the entire western world.

Trump denied the report by tweeting, “a virtual act of Treason by a once great paper so desperate for a story, any story, even if bad for our Country.” I don’t know why he capitalized “treason” and “country.” He also tweeted, “These are true cowards and without doubt, THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE!” No. What are treason and the enemy of the people is a guy who will calls out to foreign nations that he’ll accept dirt on his political opponents to help him politically. Also, it appears that American Intelligence is afraid Trump will act in a treasonous way that would make him the enemy of the American people.

But, let me ask you this; How can Trump deny the report if Intelligence isn’t informing him?

Proving he can’t be trusted, yesterday, Trump tweeted out that ICE was about to stage a major operation to apprehend millions of undocumented immigrants. Hey, thanks for the heads-up, Donald.

What is not classified is that Donald Trump is a stupid asshole.

During an interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos, while talking about his taxes, Trump interrupted himself to scold “acting” chief-of-staff Mick Mulvaney for coughing. After kicking the Mick out of the room, Trump continued to beef about the coughing.

What Mulvaney may have been doing was attempting to tell Trump to shut up about his taxes. He used a cough since he wasn’t seated next to him and couldn’t kick him under the table. Trump probably would have cried about that too.

“So, in my taxes, where there are no details of payments from Russia or to their hookers for when they peed all over me and…wait…who’s kicking me? What a jerk!”

In the past, Trump has actually kicked a baby out of one of his rallies for crying.

There’s only room for one big-mouth baby when Donald Trump is in the room.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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