Classified

Eggstraordinarily Classified


In case you don’t buy eggs, eggs are expensive right now. And it seems like the price more than doubled overnight about a month ago.

I have groceries delivered and I include eggs every few weeks. As I went to add them to my cart from reorder list a couple weeks ago, I saw the price and said, “Holy crapazoids!” I think I was buying a dozen for around $1.78 and all of a sudden, they’re over $5.00. What the heck happened? Is there an ongoing chicken strike? No. It’s bird flu. Birds are dying off by the millions and the ones left just aren’t in the mood. In case you’re a Republican, chickens are birds. But I think the prices are starting to fall back down although the national eggheads say they probably won’t normalize until 2024.

Like the egg experts, I can predict a few things too and in 2024, Republicans will still be gaslighting about classified documents being found in an office and private home of President Biden.

Now, is this equivalent to Donald Trump and his abuse of classified documents? Of course not, but Republicans are making out like it is, which is why Democrats are upset with the Biden administration. And they should be.

I read a few comments underneath a post from a Republican congressman last night, and the goons were active. It seemed like none of them could actually understand the situation and most were lying about the details. But it doesn’t matter to them what the facts are.

Every time I draw a cartoon on President Biden, a few Democrats get mad at me. One tweeted at me this morning that this cartoon didn’t make sense because nobody’s mad at Biden. Yeah, right. If Democrats aren’t mad at President Biden, they should be.

Republicans are not mad at President Biden over this. Some might pretend they are, but they’re lying. They’re loving this because they get to gaslight and distract from what Trump did. How can Republicans actually be angry with President Biden for doing the same they ignored when their guy did it worse? They can’t. But I can be mad at President Biden.

The Biden administration did the right thing when they first found the documents and that was alerting the National Archives and the Justice Department. Republicans, this is why there hasn’t been an FBI “raid.” It’s because Biden has cooperated and Trump did not. President Biden could have torched these things, and if his lawyers were corrupt and had gone along with it, nobody would have ever known. The National Archives didn’t even know these were missing. Biden did the right thing.

Where he did the wrong thing was not alerting the public for nearly two months. I don’t care that the administration didn’t inform us in regards to the midterms because Republicans are showing us now what they would have done with the information if they had it then, which is lie about it.

What’s frustrating is how the administration has handled this. They told us about a small batch of classified documents found in President Biden’s office at a think tank he established. The documents were from his days as vice president and there were only ten of them. But, there was another small batch found in his garage that they knew about when they told us about the first batch. But, they didn’t tell us about the second batch when they told us about the first batch. Why are they giving us cliffhangers?

At first, President Biden explained it as an administrative error and that he didn’t know what was in the documents and his lawyers told him not to ask. That sounded good…until the second batch was found in his garage and he tried to reassure us that they were totally safe because it’s where he also kept his Corvette. Sure, nobody’s ever tried to steal a Corvette before. Actually, there’s a movie about that called “Corvette Summer” starring Mark Hamill in between Star Wars movies. Annie Potts plays a hooker. All I really remember of the movie is the candy apple red corvette and Annie Potts’ nipple. I was a teenager, OK?

The Biden administration set liberals and Democrats up for embarrassment as they defended the first batch only to have to turn around to defend the second. And then they found another small batch in his house. C’mon, man! Can you please find all the documents so we know where we stand with this shit?

Oh, yeah…they’re now searching for other locations to see if there are more. It’s a constant drip that doesn’t add up to what Trump did, but it keeps dripping. It’s like the Panty Incident of 2011. What’s that? I haven’t told you about the Panty Incident of 2011?

One night in 2011, my girlfriend came over for dinner and my dog jumped in her lap with panties in his mouth that were NOT hers and that I didn’t even know were in my apartment…and then he did it again with another pair…and again with another pair…and again with another pair. I had no idea where he was finding these things. It’s like he found a portal to another dimension full of panties which I believe was the basis for a Stephen King novel. That dog was killing me when I was actually innocent. Of course, there was a logical explanation and that was, my little sister used to live with me and when she moved out, she left a bag of laundry for me to drop off at Goodwill which I forgot about. Fast-forward a few years and the Beagle finds panties on date night and the doggy daddy quickly becomes a single man again. Bad dog. Bad.

Biden has dogs, right? He should blame them…or Hunter. Yeah, blame Hunter. He’s a screwup. President Biden can blame Hunter and say he left boxes of classified information in his garage on his way to drop off the laptop at the repair shop. It’s probably more believable than the bag of laundry explanation. In fact, I think I’m gonna start blaming Hunter for the panties incident.

Music note: I listened to Elvis.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Orange Ya Glad For Special Counsel?


Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday

I didn’t know if I wanted to give this cartoon to CNN Opinion or my newspaper clients when I wrote it last Thursday. The reason for that is, I was antsy and wanted to publish it soon because I really liked it. If I was to draw it for my clients, then I could go ahead and post it Friday but for CNN, it’d have to wait until Sunday before my readers could see it. But, I do like to show my editor at CNN everything I come up with. So what I did was draw nine more ideas and sent them to him with those.

He didn’t waste much time because he selected this one within minutes of seeing it. Some of the ideas from the other nine were pretty good, but this truly was the best and it was meant for CNN all along.

Since this was selected Thursday afternoon, that meant I could draw it Friday and maybe relax a bit. Nope. Since my editor took this one, which was the only good one on the documents scandal, that meant I didn’t have anything else on the subject. So I spent most of Friday morning working on a new idea for my newspapers (ignoring the previous nine). After finishing that cartoon and then spending hours drawing oranges for this one, I was a tired boy.

Yes, I know a few other cartoonists drew their own “apples and oranges” cartoons, but none of them did this. Like Gronk, I’m special.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Garagegate Versus Toiletgate


I personally believe the only reason Attorney General Merrick Garland appointed a Special Counsel to investigate President Biden over misplaced classified documents is to placate whiny victimized Republicans.

Republicans always demand special treatment. Right now, they’re screaming for an investigation into something President Biden did that they ignored when Donald Trump did it worse.

Garland appointed a Republican, a Trump appointee at that, to investigate Biden. Can you imagine the GOP reaction if Garland had appointed a Democrat to investigate Trump? He didn’t. He appointed an independent. And don’t forget, Robert Mueller is also a Republican.

Republicans were howling for a Special Counsel before one was appointed, and asking why the FBI wasn’t raiding Biden’s home. The reason the FBI wasn’t conducting “raids” on Biden’s two homes or the White House is that Biden is cooperating and the National Archives never requested the Department of Justice to become involved. Now that a Special Counsel has been appointed to investigate the mishandling of a few documents, probably less than 20, you get the sense Republicans still aren’t happy.

Now, they’re hashtagging “garagegate” because the second batch of documents were found inside Biden’s garage. But unfortunately for Republicans, “garagegate” doesn’t have the same ring to it as “toiletgate.’

Music note: I listened to the Barenaked Ladies.

Facebook Suspension Update: There’s one hour left in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Apples and Oranges and Whatabouts


Goons tweet at me quite often. I do enjoy hitting their nerves and that I’m so important to them so I don’t block them unless they become annoying trolls. I would rather mute them than block them. Plus, when you block them, they boast about it. I have one consistent MAGAt who’s anonymous with only 30 followers. He tweeted at me last night.

After news broke that a few classified documents were found in a closet in an office belonging to President Biden in a think tank, the MAGAt goon tweeted a couple of my cartoons on Donald Trump stealing classified documents. He was demanding that I provide equal coverage and that I start running with the lying gaslighting talking points that are now coming out of the Republican National Committee. MAGAts are unable to see the differences between Biden and Trump on this…and they’re huge.

The ten documents found in Biden’s closet at the Washington think tank were from when he was vice president, which means they’re older than ten years, but still probably classified. It’s true that they should not have been there. According to people who’ve spent a lot of time on national security issues, this isn’t uncommon.

It’s fairly common for former government officials to later discover classified documents in their possession after they leave office. They typically notify the National Archives and have them returned. Usually, the number of documents is very low. The documents in Biden’s possession were among personal documents. Mistakes were made.

The differences here are many. President Biden says he wasn’t aware the documents were in his possession. Donald Trump knew he had government documents in his possession. According to some reports, he picked and chose which ones to take and even helped pack them. He can’t play dumb and say that he didn’t know they were in his possession because the National Archives told him they knew he had them and they wanted them back.

There were ten documents found in Biden’s office. There were thousands in Trump’s possession. The National Archives stated that Trump left Washington with over 700 that were classified. He returned several boxes but still had over 100 classified documents when the FBI searched Mar-a-Lago. Even after that search, more documents were found in a rented storage facility.

When Biden’s lawyers found them, they alerted the White House Counsel who then alerted the National Archives. They were returned to the National Archives the next day. The National Archives never knew they were missing.

The National Archives requested that Trump return documents. Trump returned some and lied claiming they were all returned. He had lawyers sign affidavits claiming all were returned. They were not which put those lawyers in legal jeopardy. Trump lied. The National Archives made further requests which were denied and eventually got the Department of Justice involved.

The Biden White House is cooperating and a U.S. attorney has been assigned by the Department of Justice to investigate. The U.S. attorney is a Trump appointee. Donald Trump ignored a subpoena and continued to lie about the documents.

Eventually, the FBI had to serve a warrant on Donald Trump to search and retrieve documents from Mar-a-Lago.

Documents were found in one of Biden’s offices, which may not have even been placed there by Biden himself. Trump personally took documents to his home, a country club.

Biden never claimed he owned the documents. Trump claims he owns the ones he took. Biden has not claimed the documents were declassified. Trump claims he declassified all the documents in his possession with his mind. Trump has failed to produce any documentation that he declassified anything. His claim is so bogus that even his own lawyers refused to use it in court. But declassified or not, none of these documents belong to Trump or Biden. They belong to the United States government. Biden hasn’t claimed he owns any while Trump has.

The Justice Department has been specific about how many of the documents in Trump’s possession were still classified, and they’ve been specific about the levels of classification.

Trump supporters are now using the talking point that it’s OK for Trump to take documents because he was president but Biden couldn’t since he was merely vice president. The truth is that neither can take government property.

Another talking point is that Trump declassified all the documents he stole but that is a lie. They argue that Biden couldn’t declassify anything because he was vice president, but Biden hasn’t argued that he has declassified anything. However, Biden is president now and can declassify the documents found in his office if he wants.

The situations are not the same but that won’t matter to the goons. These are people who don’t use facts. Hell, they’ve spent the last two years screaming about Hunter Biden’s laptop and still haven’t produced anything solid from it.

The worst thing about this is that Biden handed them something to goon about. He may also have made it difficult for DOJ to charge Trump who did intentionally steal documents and obstructed their return, and he still claims they belong to him and he wants them back.

Trump truthed last night that the “many” homes of Biden should now be searched by the FBI, along with the White House. But Biden’s “many” homes are just two and of course, there are classified documents in the White House.

The White House is the executive branch of government, one of the three branches of government. While Trump may not know that, he does know that classified material is kept in the White House…because that’s where he stole them from.

The greatest difference between Joe Biden and Donald Trump is that President Biden is not corrupt.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 3 days left (ooh, we’re getting closer), so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Presidential Buckets


In early 2022, Donald Trump asked one of his lawyers to tell the National Archives that all of the material they were seeking had been returned to them and none were remaining at Mar-a-Lago. The lawyer refused to do that.

Trump attorney Alex Cannon facilitated the January transfer of 15 boxes of presidential records from Mar-a-Lago to the National Archives, which they had spent over a year trying to get. Cannon had been an attorney for the Trump Organization and the Trump Campaign before joining Trump’s post-presidential (sic) legal team, so this guy had the experience to know that most things Donald Trump says are flat-out lies. So, he refused to tell the National Archives that they had received all the documents and none were left at Mar-a-Lago. It was a smart move because as we know now, it was another Trump lie.

An attorney who lies in court or to the government can lose his or her law license. For lying to the FBI and Justice Department, an attorney can go to prison. I’m not sure what lying to the National Archives can get you but doing so as a legal representative may land you in hot water.

As it turns out, the 15 boxes that were returned were packed by Trump himself, which is really weird. Trump never does anything himself, like with his own hands, unless it’s something corrupt…like drawing on hurricane maps with Sharpies.

Trump also dictated a statement for his team to release publicly that said “everything” had been returned. Sources say he complained that the National Archives were being “persnickety” over this material. But his team didn’t want to release that statement because like Cannon, they weren’t certain it was true. And like most things with Trump, it wasn’t. Instead, they released a statement saying Trump had given boxes of materials to the archives in a “friendly” manner. It did not say that all of the materials were handed over.

More documents from Mar-a-Lago were returned in June, and the FBI presented a search warrant on Mar-a-Lago in August.

Being an attorney for Trump comes with criminal liability. Ask Michael Cohen, Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and John Eastman. Trump attorney Christina Bobb, signed a certification that a “diligent search” was conducted and that “any and all” documents were produced to the government. That was a lie. Evan Corcoran, another Trump attorney, made statements to the FBI during one Mar-a-Lago visit that also turned out not to be true.

The New York Times reporter, Maggie Haberman, interviewed Trump for her new book, “Confidence Man,” in 2021. She told the Times she asked Trump “on a lark” whether he had taken any memento documents from the White House. Trump told Haberman, “Nothing of great urgency, no,” before bringing up the Kim letters unprompted.

Trump said, “I have great things though, you know. The letters, the Kim Jong Un letters. I had many of them.”

Haberman asked a follow-up question (something Fox News goons never do): “You were able to take those with you?”

Trump backtracked and lied, saying, “No, I think that has the … I think that’s in the archives, but most of it is in the Archives. But the Kim Jong Un letters, we have incredible things. I have incredible letters with other leaders.”

She asked him if he took anything and he brings up the Kim Jong Un love letters, then says he doesn’t have those. Bullshit.

Trump bragging about what he has reminds me of the lyrics to the song “Intimate Secretary” by the Raconteurs.

I’ve got a rabbit, it likes to hop
I’ve got a girl, and she likes to shop
The other foot looks like it won’t drop
I had an uncle and he got shot
I’ve got a red Japanese teapot
I’ve got a pen but I lost the top
I’ve got so many things you haven’t got

The lyrics are sung from what sounds like the perspective of a very juvenile, stupid, and pathetic person that you should feel a little sorry for. In the real world, I don’t feel sorry for Trump.

One thing Trump has that I haven’t got is a prison in his future.

Note for the regulars: I’m going to Ohio this week for the usually-annual convention of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists. For you, that means some or all of the blogs will be shorter than usual between tomorrow and Monday. Please try to survive.

Music note: I listened to U2, the Vines, and Jet.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Puttin’ Around in Putin’s Basement


Vladimir Putin believed Ukraine was going to launch a new offensive in the south, so he deployed troops from the northeast of Ukraine to defend the south…and Ukraine then launched a major offensive in the northeast. Ukraine played rope-a-dope and Putin was the dope.

Ukraine forces were able to recapture dozens of villages and towns in over 6,000 sq kilometers (2,300 sq miles) of what is formerly Russian-occupied territory. The only people left who probably still believe Putin is a war genius are those bought and paid for by Putin, like Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, Ted Rall, etc.

Now, even pro-Kremlin Russians are starting to question the war. We’ll see how long their health holds out.

This is Putin’s war. It’s obviously clear to everyone, especially to Russian soldiers fighting this war, that Vladimir Putin doesn’t care about anyone except Vladimir Putin. His own troops are describing themselves as “cannon fodder” for Putin. It’s not just Ukrainian elementary schools, hospitals, and apartment buildings Putin is willing to sacrifice, but his own people.

If this keeps up, Putin will be removed from power. He started this war over a lie (Nazis in Ukraine) and will keep lying to fight it. It’s hard to lie to his people that Russia’s winning when husbands, brothers, and sons aren’t coming home. Putin is getting so desperate that he has to purchase weapons from Iran and North Korea which violates all sorts of sanctions.

How far will Putin go to win this war and save face…and save his power? Will he go nuclear? Could that be assisted in any way by secrets provided by Donald Trump? it’s very plausible that Putin gained access to the classified documents Trump stole. We have to ask again: Why did Trump take these documents? Why? It’s a question Republicans should start asking, you know, if they were actual patriots and not sycophantic cultish butt boys.

Music Note: I listened to The Cars, but only songs sung by Ben Orr.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Here Comes The Boom


Months before the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump repeatedly barked about impending voter fraud and the possibility it would “steal” the election for Biden. What Donald Trump was doing was setting up a narrative so that when he lost, because he knew he was going to lose, he wouldn’t have to admit defeat and could blame non-existent voter fraud.

Donald Trump legitimately lost the 2020 election. There is no doubt to that and there is not one shred of evidence that even suggest Donald Trump won and had it stolen from him. Anyone still claiming Trump won is a liar, idiot, or just someone who wants to believe lies. And Donald Trump used the lie to attempt a coup and retain power. He was able to do this from the narrative he created before the election. He’s doing it again.

Trump is dropping hints about the FBI planting evidence during their warranted search of his home at his golf resort, Mar-a-Lago. But if they planted evidence, Donald Trump would already know it’s on the list because he has the list.

Donald Trump knows there’s something bad on the list he doesn’t want to be held accountable for. He doesn’t want his supporters to see it. But when they do see it, he will get to blame the FBI and claim it was planted. His lunatics will believe this. MAGAts are dumb enough to believe a president (sic) who didn’t win the popular vote the first time, ruined an economy, downplayed a virus that killed hundreds of thousands, spent four years barking hate while endorsing pedophiles, said good people marched with Nazis, saw unemployment reach above 13 percent, and never had an approval rating above 50 percent won reelection.

His lunatics don’t ask questions. They don’t ask why Donald Trump hasn’t released the list himself while they’re screaming for the FBI to be transparent. They don’t ask why there were still items to seize at Mar-a-Lago if Donald Trump was cooperating with the FBI. They don’t even ask why Donald Trump took classified documents to Mar-a-Lago. They don’t even ask why he took documents that didn’t belong to him.

And if it’s true Donald Trump took classified information that pertains to nuclear weapons, they won’t ask why he took that.

Even for Trump, doing something devious with nuclear information seems far-fatched. But before January, 2020, did we think it was outside the realm of possibility he would engineer a coup attempt and send a white nationaist mob to attack his own government?

We’re going to learn a lot more today at 3 p.m. That’s Trump’s deadline to appeal Merrick Garland’s petition to unseal the search warrant. Trump says he won’t block it but we’ve heard that before, like when he said he won’t plead the Fifth in a deposition, then pleads it over 400 times. He said he couldn’t wait to testify before Robert Mueller, then later blamed his lawyers for not letting him. He can come out later today and say he wanted to unseal it but his lawyers advised against it. Just wait. He’s good at setting shit up and he did that last night by saying he wanted the warrant to be released to the public. He doesn’t. I honestly can’t predict if he’ll block it today or not.

He can block it and blame his lawyers or let it be unsealed and say, “A-ha! There’s planted evidence! That Swedish-made penis enlarger is not my bag, baby.” We’ll have to wait and see.

Merrick Garland owned Trump yesterday. Garland is playing chess while Donald Trump is playing go fish.

Republicans are angry that the government seized government documents but not angry at the guy who stole them. Go fish.

Republicans have spent the week attacking the FBI demanding transparency. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy told Garland to clear his calendar for upcoming hearings on this matter if the GOP takes the House this November. He also said for Garland to “save the documents” without detecting any irony in the statement. And then Merrick Garland announced yesterday that he was going to court to make the documents public. He’s doing exactly what Republicans have demanded…and they don’t like it.

It’s called “calling one’s bluff.” Garland is playing Texas hold ’em and the GOP is playing Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Donald Trump says he wants the court to unseal the warrant and the list of items seized. But he doesn’t have to wait for the court to do that because he can release it himself. Right now, I bet Trump is kinda wishing he and Mitch McConnell had let Merrick Garland have that Supreme Court seat.

Talk about coming back to bite you in the ass. Are you loving this as much as I am?

Music note: I listened to the Red Hot Chili Peppers again.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Flushles The President


CjonesRGB02162022

Wouldn’t it be funny if the flushed documents thing is just a ruse to cover up that it’s Donald Trump naturally clogging all the White House toilets? Think about it. He can’t keep his teeth in his mouth and he eats nothing but Big Macs and KFC. It’s highly unlikely he’s chewing his food.

New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman has a new book, Confidence Man, which reports that White House staffers would periodically find toilets in the president’s (sic) residence clogged with paper.

While in office, Trump would tear up documents and staffers would routinely tape them back together. After he was defeated in the 2020 election and left town before the Biden inauguration, he took at least 15 boxes of documents with him to Mar-a-Lago, perhaps to feed to bedbugs. Now, we find out he was also flushing documents while in the White House.

Naturally, Donald Trump issued a statement denying the flushing which means he probably left floaters for others to discover throughout his entire life. Trump was here. He could probably take a dump on 5th Avenue and not lose any supporters.

Trump’s statement said, “Another fake story, that I flushed papers and documents down a White House toilet, is categorically untrue and simply made up by a reporter in order to get publicity for a mostly fictitious book.” If this continues the pattern from every Trump statement before it, that means the allegations in Haberman’s book are true.

Destroying these documents is a violation of the Presidential Records Act. The House Oversight Committee is investigating the 15 boxes Trump stole and took to Mar-a-Lago and the National Archives have asked the Justice Department to investigate whether Trump’s handling of these official records violated federal law. Joe the Plumber has not released a statement.

In 2019 at a business roundtable, Donald Trump went on a rant about showers, sinks, faucets, and toilets. Everyone speculated that he was probably talking about water flow when he said, “People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.” But now, I guess he was talking about the great difficulty in flushing government documents and not just undigested chicken bones from KFC.

I guess what Poopsie was talking about was that America needs larger toilets for larger loads. Big ass toilets made with big flushes for big asses would truly make American great again.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Spy Vs Orange Spy


cjones09172019

Here’s a catch-22 for Donald Trump. He can say the press is right that a spy was extracted from the Kremlin out of fears his big, fat, treasonous mouth would expose him to Vladimir Putin, or he can say the media is wrong and he was pulled out because details in their reporting of Russian meddling in the 2016 election was exposing the spy. Option one admits he’s a threat to national security either inadvertently out of stupidity or on purpose out of treason. If he picks option two, he admits there was Russian meddling. Donald Trump is not smart enough to catch or wiggle his way around that. Neither are his supporters. Go have fun with that today, kids while arguing on social media with the fucknuts.

The CIA is saying the press got it wrong and he was extracted because of option two and journalists picked up details about the CIA’s Kremlin sources. But, the CIA offered to pull the spy out in 2016 and he refused. They offered again in 2017 after Donald Trump was elected, and the spy accepted. And why wouldn’t he?

Donald Trump gives Russia preferential treatment over the United States. If you don’t believe me, just look at his reactions to the Russia investigation. Donald Trump created a lie that President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. Then, he created a lie that the FBI planted a spy into his presidential campaign. Vladimir Putin did actually try, and maybe succeeded, in planting a spy in the Trump Campaign and President Dotard has never expressed any emotion over that or has even acknowledged it. That’d be like getting upset over an imaginary dog peeing on your tires after a Gorilla took a crap on your back seat.

Decades ago, the CIA recruited a midlevel Russian official who then advanced through the government’s ranks. The agency struck gold as he eventually gained access to the highest levels of the Kremlin. He became one of the CIA’s most important, and protected assets during the 2016 presidential election. He was protected to the point that he was not included in any of President Obama’s daily briefings so to limit the number of people with knowledge of the spy, and instead separate intelligence reports were sent to the president in specially-sealed envelopes.

The spy was able to confirm that Putin ordered and orchestrated Russia’s interference in our election himself and that the Russian president affirmatively favored Trump and personally ordered the hacking of the Democratic National Committee.

How do you think Putin would have reacted to catching a spy in the Kremlin? In March 2018, Russia poisoned a former spy and his daughter…in England.

So, if you’re a spy in the Kremlin feeding information to the CIA, you may feel a little nervous with an American presidential candidate praising Putin repeatedly while disparaging his own president. After that candidate is elected, you would probably get the night sweats. After seeing that president reveal classified information to the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval freaking Office, you would probably call the CIA and scream, “Get me the fuck out of here.”

If the spy wasn’t extracted by the Helsinki Summit, he may have thrown own ass off a building.

Donald Trump has had private, closed-door meetings with Putin. Trump has talked to Putin with only the Russian’s interpreter present. Trump has ordered an American interpreter to burn her notes after a closed-door session with Putin. Trump, while standing next to Putin, took his word that Russia didn’t meddle in our election over that of America’s intelligence agencies. Donald Trump, according to reports, even offered Putin a bribe to erect a Trump Tower in Moscow when he was a presidential candidate (instead, Putin bought Trump). Last week, Donald Trump tweeted a classified photo. So yeah, I’m sure that spy wanted out of Russia all because of the U.S. media.

Here’s a fun fact: Donald Trump has only polled above 50% in two nations and one of them is not the United States. One of those nations is Israel and I’ll give you only one guess for the other. If you’re a Republican, I’ll give you a hint: There’s been a few mentions of it already in today’s blog. Hey, I said only one hint.

The spy’s identity and location have not been reported. For his safety, let’s hope Donald Trump hasn’t been told.

Creative notes: I use two copy editors for my cartoons, Laura and Hilary. They’re wonderful. They both caught “by who” in this cartoon and said “by whom” is correct. But, they both said to keep “by who.” Laura said that nobody talks that way and “by whom” sounds “stilted.” Hilary wasn’t as delicate and said “by whom,” and I’m quoting her here…sounds “douchey.”

I love them.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Coughing On Trump


cjones06202019

Aliens did not crash land in Roswell, New Mexico and there were no alien autopsies. How do I know this? Because Donald Trump hasn’t blabbed out that there were.

Donald Trump has a big mouth and telling him anything is dangerous. Plus, he’s not inhibited by any ethics or responsibility and will use anything to help him politically or merely to boost his own ego. The man in the most important office in the world is constantly telling us how important he is.

Shortly after assuming office, Trump hosted the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval Office. He didn’t allow American media into the room, but he did allow the Russian press along with all their recording equipment. There, he boasted to the Russians classified intelligence about Syria. The intelligence wasn’t even his to give as it had been provided to us by an ally.

A top European intelligence official said that sharing of intelligence with the United States would cease if the country confirms that Trump did indeed share classified information with Russia because “sharing intel with Americans while Trump is president could put their sources at risk.”

Burkhard Lichka, a member of the German Bundestag’s Intelligence Oversight Committee was even more blunt. He said that if Trump “passes this information to other governments at will, then Trump becomes a security risk for the entire western world.” Trust me, there are a lot of reasons Donald Trump is a security risk for the entire western world.

The New York Times reported that the United States has increased measures to penetrate Russia’s power grid as a message to Moscow to stay out of American cyberinfrastructure. The juiciest part of this is that, according to reports, Intelligence didn’t inform Trump out of fear he’d leak it, either because he has a big mouth or that he would want to warn the Russians. Basically, American Intelligence views Donald Trump as a security risk for the entire western world.

Trump denied the report by tweeting, “a virtual act of Treason by a once great paper so desperate for a story, any story, even if bad for our Country.” I don’t know why he capitalized “treason” and “country.” He also tweeted, “These are true cowards and without doubt, THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE!” No. What are treason and the enemy of the people is a guy who will calls out to foreign nations that he’ll accept dirt on his political opponents to help him politically. Also, it appears that American Intelligence is afraid Trump will act in a treasonous way that would make him the enemy of the American people.

But, let me ask you this; How can Trump deny the report if Intelligence isn’t informing him?

Proving he can’t be trusted, yesterday, Trump tweeted out that ICE was about to stage a major operation to apprehend millions of undocumented immigrants. Hey, thanks for the heads-up, Donald.

What is not classified is that Donald Trump is a stupid asshole.

During an interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos, while talking about his taxes, Trump interrupted himself to scold “acting” chief-of-staff Mick Mulvaney for coughing. After kicking the Mick out of the room, Trump continued to beef about the coughing.

What Mulvaney may have been doing was attempting to tell Trump to shut up about his taxes. He used a cough since he wasn’t seated next to him and couldn’t kick him under the table. Trump probably would have cried about that too.

“So, in my taxes, where there are no details of payments from Russia or to their hookers for when they peed all over me and…wait…who’s kicking me? What a jerk!”

In the past, Trump has actually kicked a baby out of one of his rallies for crying.

There’s only room for one big-mouth baby when Donald Trump is in the room.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.