Chicago

Bomp Ba-Bomp Bomp Bomp Bomp Bomp


cjones01292017

Just like all your conservative friends who can’t think for themselves and need talking points to insult liberals with “snowflake,” Donald Trump needs television to put words into his mouth, or in this case, his tweets.

Chelsea Manning wrote a column criticizing President Obama’s legacy. Fox News called her an “ungrateful traitor” and said she called Obama a “weak president.” Fourteen minutes later Trump tweeted the same words toward Manning, that she’s an “ungrateful traitor” for calling Obama a “weak president.” We’ll let the hypocrisy slide that Birther Trump is upset with someone for insulting Obama (that must have been a really nice letter he left in the Resolute Desk that someone else probably had to read to him), but his Orangenish is aping the exact same words used by Fox.

On Tuesday Bill O’Reilly gave some crime statistics for Chicago on his show. An hour later Trump tweeted out the exact same numbers. I’m shocked he didn’t say the city was run by pinheads.

The president is totally fixated on his television. Some of his aides say if you want his attention you gotta go on TV. Congressman Elijah Cummings took that advice and went on Morning Joe and said Trump needed to call him. Within an hour Trump called him. The reason this works on Fox News and Morning Joe on MSNBC is that they’re all Trump friendly. Trump watches stuff that panders to him and tells him what he wants to hear.

Trump does not read books. He definitely didn’t write his book, The Art of the Deal. So instead of reading he watches TV. I seriously doubt he could handle a foreign film with subtitles.

One bizarre turn of events is that conservative media usually follows talking points given by Republican politicians. They followed the Bush/Cheney administration word for word. So it’s quite a flip that Trump is following and using their wording. I think they should test that system out and see how much they can make that orange monkey dance.

Creative Note: I know you sing along with the “bomp ba-bomp bomp bomp bomp bom” in those Farmer insurance commercials with J.K. Simmons. Yeah, I do too. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about and this cartoon is lost on you, then maybe you’re reading too many books.

I watch way too much TV news. I see every commercial and I swear there were three last year that used The Pixies’ “Where Is My Mind?”. I’m just glad I’m not hearing that “Zero’s My Hero” song anymore.

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Hate In Chicago


cjones01072017

You should be outraged over four black kids beating up a white kid while yelling “F white people.” You should be outraged if they did it without inserting their world viewpoints. But if you make post after post on social media every time a black person does something bad and you ignore Dylan Roof shooting up a black church and killing nine in the process, you might be a racist.

 

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Cubs Kill The Goat


cjones11042016

I recently read that one’s first memory can be as early from two years of age if something traumatic happened. Sure enough mine is. It’s from waking up in a hospital in Louisiana when I was two. My second memory is from a few years later, around the age of five. It’s the Chicago Cubs.

I was living in Elgin, Illinois and the Cubs were on TV. I don’t remember if I decided or was told I was a Cubs fan. I just remember always being a Cubs fan. I was a Cubs fan before I knew the names of other teams.  I hate drawing Pearly Gates cartoons, and one wasn’t required here, but this might be the only time in my career where I’m really happy to draw St. Peter and the Pearly Gates. RIP, Goat.

Legend has it that a curse was placed upon the Chicago Cubs after someone was kicked out of Wrigley Field for bringing along a goat. Seriously, people. If you can’t find a goat sitter then watch the game at home. Whether curses are real or not, the Cubs had not won a World Series since 1908. In case you went to bed early last night and this is the first thing you’re reading upon waking up, the Cubs won the World Series last night. The Chicago Cubs are world champions. What?

Did Hell freeze over? A lot of political cartoonists drew that last week. Does this mean it’s the end of times? Armageddon is near? Trump will be elected? Crazier things have happened. Matthew McConaughey has an Oscar for Christ’s sake. But no. While it’s not the end of days this World Series does tell us Clinton will be elected. Huh?

Every time a World Series has gone to seven games in a presidential election year the winning league coincided with which party wins the White House. Each time the American League has won, the Republicans won the White House and each time the National League takes it the White House goes to the Democrats. So to all you Trump supporters cheering on the Cubs last night, HA HA!

It was an exciting series between two well deserving teams. If Cleveland had been playing anyone else besides the Cubs I would have rooted for them, but they had to play my Cubs. Of course a victory in this series wasn’t going to come easy and without testing every fan’s nerves.

Seven games. Cleveland was up 3-1. The Cubs came back and took it to the seventh game and taking the trophy by winning three games in a row, the last two in Cleveland. Naturally the last game was a nail-biter. The Cubs started the game with a solo home run by their lead off hitter. They were up 6- at one point and then Cleveland came back and eventually tied in the eighth inning. During the 9th inning, because nothing comes easy, there was a rain delay. The goat didn’t want to die quietly.

Finally in the 10th inning the Cubs scored two more runs. Then Cleveland scored one more, and after the last out the Cubs were world champs. Finally. And then I had to go home and draw a cartoon.

Rest in piece, you nasty old goat. We might have lost a bit of the mystique by acquiring a world crown, but I don’t think anyone in Wrigleyville is gonna complain about that. We’re not gonna miss the goat.

The goat was ba-a-a-a-a-ad.

I hope my late grandfather (wherever he is because he was kinda racist) was watching tonight. I hope my mom was watching too. They both had taken me to Wrigley when I was a kid and would have been overjoyed with this win. My son and older brother both contacted me minutes after the victory. It’s a family thing.

The World Series trophy is finally going back to sweet home Chicago.

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A Republican Plot


cjones03122016

A lot of people speculated during Nancy Reagan’s funeral yesterday that Ronald Reagan’s Republican party has died along with her. I’m sorry but I believe that party died seven years ago, at least.

When this country elected Barack Obama to the presidency it proved just how good this nation can be. The Republican Party took the same opportunity to prove just how awful it could be.

The GOP reacted to the very first black American becoming president that they questioned his eligibility. They concocted conspiracy theories to prove he was born in Kenya. They questioned his religion. They accuse him of apologizing for America’s exceptionalism. They swear he’s siding with those who wish to harm America. They say he’s destroying the Constitution. They swore not to cooperate with him on any bills and for once, they kept a promise. They swore to make him a one-term president, and that’s a promise they didn’t keep. They created the Tea Party. They gave us Sarah Palin. They gave us Ted Cruz. They gave us Donald Trump. They gave us Ted Nugent.

After seven years of Obama’s presidency 43% of Republicans believe he is a Muslim. A recent CNN poll finds that 61% of Donald Trump’s supporters believe the president was born outside the United States. That’s not just being stupid. That’s choosing stupidity.

You look at what the GOP has done over the last seven years. The lack of cooperation. The shutting down of the government over spending that was already authorized. You can find all sorts of things to criticize Reagan over but you can’t say he didn’t cooperate, negotiate, deal and find common ground with his opposition. When we elect Republicans and Democrats, we put them to work to do the same job. All they have done for their salary over the past seven years is scream and try to make things worse. They have tried to hurt this nation in order to embarrass and destroy one man in a political manner. That’s not patriotism. It’s not being a loyal American.

It’s not even being a loyal Republican.

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Rahm Matters


cjones12112015

I grew up in several states. I was born in Texas but Louisiana was home. My mother also dragged me to Georgia, California and Illinois. My first memories are from living in Elgin which is about 50 miles from Chicago. I attended several games at Wrigley and was a Cubs fan before I even knew there were other teams. I will always be interested in what’s going on in the Chicagoland region.

Watching mayor Rahm Emanuel squirm underneath the political heat lamp is especially interesting.

Mr. Mayor Didn’t seem very interested in the police shooting of 17-year-old Laquan McDonald. This is where police shot McDonald 16 times, 14 times while he was on the ground. It took 13 months for the officer to be charged and the video to be released, which the mayor fought against. There was a rush to settle with the family before the officer responsible was even charged or there was a lawsuit (which sounds more like paying hush money than admitting guilt).

The mayor stated that he had not watched the video before it was released. Did he not have any interest in the case? His constituents have been yelling at him for over a year and he doesn’t get around to watch the evidence of what they’re screaming about? This is a leader?

After the video came out, proving the police union wrong with the self-defense defense, the mayor fired the police chief. That did not put an end to the calls for Emanuel’s resignation. If fact they’ve only increased. Now the Justice Department is going to investigate Chicago’s police force.

There really isn’t a procedure on the books to impeach a mayor (as Rahm is not going to resign). Now a state representative has introduced a bill in Illinois’ legislature to recall the mayor.

Rahm is not going to resign unless all his money backers tell him to. It will have to get very loud in Chicago before that happens. It may yet happen. The best route will be a recall vote. I don’t think the legislature is going to have any problem creating a law to recall Rahm. Soon it will be up to the voters.

But hey, go Cubs.

This cartoon was tedious to draw. A lot of cartoonists use a computer program to do the white lettering with a black background. I do it old school as it’s all by hand. I don’t do that because it’s better or out of a sense of morals or purity. I do it by hand because the computer drawing method doesn’t really work for me. I think a lot of cartoonists are doing amazing work on computers. It would be nice to never have to buy paper, pens, pencils or erasers again or have to wash correction fluid off my skin, clothes, and Beagle. After 25 years of doing this, I think I’m too old for new tricks and I really hate learning software stuff. I have very little patience.

When I started my career a cartoon would take four to five hours to draw. Over time it got down to two hours on average. For some reason it’s taking a lot more time for me to draw cartoons. I don’t think I’ve drawn anything this week in less than four hours. I gave myself additional work with this one because I originally just had the mayor’s name on the desk. While waiting for the toon to dry and walking Chubbs The Beagle, I got the idea to make the sign say “#RahmMatters.” That required more correction fluid, a separate sheet of paper (cheap copy paper for that purpose), and cut and pasting. The real pain in the butt was drawing the hashtag symbol and every “S.”

A colleague has been doing live streams of drawing his cartoons. I don’t know if readers would be interested enough to watch someone draw for two hours. It interests other cartoonists, who don’t have the two hours to watch. I wonder if my readers would be interested in seeing something like that from me. Doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen.

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Rahma Lama Ding Dong


cjones12052015

A few years ago I was debating a friend who is a conservative. Really. I have a friend who is conservative. He’s a really good friend too and I don’t consider him a jerk at all. I think he’s wrong on everything and the feelings are mutual, but none of that’s a reason for me to overlook he’s an awesome guy. During our friendly argument I bashed some Republicans for exhibiting modern Republican behavior, which is just terrible stuff. He pointed out that the Democrats have Rahm Emanuel. It was a really good counter point.

 

Republicans don’t have Jack Kemps anymore. They have Ted Cruz. And yes, when you say “Ted Cruz” you can let that ooze sound linger at the end of his name.

Ted Cruz might be the worst person sliming through politics right now and Republicans are owning him. Though there are some who really can’t stand the guy.

Ted Cruz’s college freshman roommate, Craig Mazin said “I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone. I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.” He really doesn’t like Ted Cruz. He later said “I want to be clear because Ted Cruz is a nightmare of a human being. I have plenty of problems with his politics but truthfully his personality is so awful that 99 percent of why I hate him is just his personality. If he agreed with me on every issue, I would have him only one percent less.

One colleague who worked with Cruz on the Bush 200 campaign said “Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz? It just saves time.”

George W. Bush, his former boss who refused to give him a White House job said “I just don’t like the guy.”

His senate colleagues can’t stand him. One thing that hurts is the life-size oil painting Cruz keeps of himself. That’s creepy.

On top of all that you probably can’t name one thing he’s done for Texas since becoming a Senator.

Craig Mazin, who had to field complaints about his roommate creeping the womens’ halls in his bathrobe, sums it up best with “One thing Ted Cruz is really good at: uniting people who otherwise disagree about everything else in a total hatred of Ted Cruz.”

Ted Cruz is the guy who told a 3-year-old girl that her “world was on fire” at a campaign event.

Ted Cruz is that guy, that when you see him approaching, you just go “ew.”

After Ted Cruz you have charmers of the like of Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina, of course we can’t forget Donald Trump.

Rahm Emanuel is the Democrat who Democrats don’t want to own.

Rahm is a huge disaster. His appointment as Obama’s chief of staff is probably the president’s worst political decision. I’m sure Obama was happy for Rahm to run for mayor of Chicago as it got him out of D.C. While as chief of staff, Rahm would confront congressmen in the showers. Yes. Confronted by a buck-ass naked Ramn Emanuel. That’s possibly creepier than Ted Cruz skulking dormitories in a towel.

Rahm is more of a political manager, like Karl Rove, than a leader which doesn’t work for the position of mayor, especially in a major city.

Rahm fought against a Freedom of Information Act requests by The Chicago Tribune, claiming it was a burden. He then deleted the emails they wanted. Rahm either doesn’t get that being sleazy is very apparent in a city like Chicago, or he thinks he has to be sleazy to be mayor of Chicago.

Emanuel is accused of allowing the police to get away with using excessive force on African Americans. In the Laquan McDonald shooting , his administration withheld the dashboard camera video of the shooting for 18 months, possibly to help with his reelection. The city paid the family $5 million dollars before there was even a lawsuit, which many consider an effort to keep them quiet during a reelection campaign. The city also resisted charging the cop for over 18 months. The video was only released because a judge ordered it.

What happens when there’s a cover up? Heads roll. In this case the head belonged to the chief of police. I don’t think it’s a coincidence this occurs while there are calls for the mayor to resign.

So I guess it works like this: For every 100 disgusting Republicans, there’s one disgusting Democrat.

 

 

Black Fridays Matter


cjones11262015

Yeah, this will upset some people. I don’t expect the majority of my clients to run it. It’s scary.

Over 18 months ago 17-year-old LaQuan McDonald was shot in the street by  Chicago police officer Jason Van Dyke. Laquan was shot 16 times. Fourteen of those shots were after he was laying in the street. Van Dyke shot LaQuan, ran out of bullets, and it appeared he was going to reload before a fellow officer stopped him. The initial defense was Officer Van Dyke felt threatened, while LaQuan was walking away from him.

For over 18 months this case sat. Officer Van Dyke was put on a desk. Right before the mayoral election the city settled with the family for $5 million, before the family even filed suit. The tape of the shooting was held from the public, until Tuesday when a judge ordered that it be released after a journalist filed for it be released under the state’s open record law. Right then the prosecutor decided to press charges for first degree murder.

The video is from a dashboard camera from a police cruiser. No other footage has been made available. There’s not any audio. There’s allegations the police destroyed additional footage and even went to a Kentucky Fried Chicken and destroyed evidence their cameras caught. We’ll see if any of this actually comes to light.

A lot of people are tired of cops being questioned and accused of targeting minorities. A lot of other people are tired of cops targeting minorities and having it excused, covered up, pushed aside, or ignored. In fact, despite the footage on the video showing Laquan shot 16 times, where the cop started shooting six seconds after leaving his vehicle, it still took prosecutors 18 months to charge the officer.

I watched CNN, MSNBC and Fox News last night to see how this would be covered. Two of those covered the news of the issue. One of them spent most of their time acknowledging the footage looked bad, but kept questioning why minorities don’t protest black on black killings in Chicago. Guess which news source that was. I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with “cox.”

There’s several questions over this. Such as: Why was the video withheld from the public for so many months? Would they have held on to it if it vindicated the cop? If there wasn’t a video would the cop have ever charged.

I’m a natural cynic, but I think I know the answers to all each of those questions.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!