Carly Fiorina

Shooting Colorado


cjones11282015

If I had much better business sense I wouldn’t draw this cartoon at this time. Being that it’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving this will be one of the first editorial cartoons on the issue. I should draw the Rocky Mountains crying and that cartoon would be reprinted in USA Today. Really.

Maybe I’m jumping, no pun intended, the gun. We don’t know the shooter’s motives. Yes he went into a Planned Parenthood clinic and started shooting. But there are other establishments in the vicinity. Perhaps he had a vendetta against Super Cuts. If I am wrong I will call myself out on this blog.

A gunman went into a Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood clinic Friday and had a six hour standoff with police. One police officer and two civilians were killed. Four other police officers and five civilians were injured. The suspect eventually surrendered and is now in custody.

Every time a policeman is shot the talking heads at Fox News says the Black Lives Matter movement is complicit. Whenever there’s violence at an abortion clinic then it’s just a lone lunatic.

The “pro life” crowd is full of lunatics. They don’t seem to have morals or ethics when it comes to furthering their agenda. Lying is acceptable, as Carly Fiorina and others have proven. Spreading lies that PP is harvesting dead children, calling them murderers, and saying they’re engaging in a holocaust is not engaging into a civil debate. Neither is standing outside a clinic screaming at people who are making the most difficult decision of their lives. Operation Rescue’s leadership includes a member who’s a convicted felon who attempted to bomb an abortion clinic. The same group posted a doctor’s home and church address on their website before he was murdered.

Four abortion clinics have been targets for arson this year alone.

An antiabortion group conducted a sting operation and secretly filmed Planned Parenthood clinics. The videos were presented as evidence PP was breaking laws and selling aborted fetuses body parts and making profits from the sales. The videos have all be proven to be doctored. Seven states have investigated PP and every single one has found them innocent of all the accusations. Still, Republican candidates are spreading the lies and Congress wants hearings on PP, not the group that made the videos.

The pro life crowd is pretty quiet over the shooting. If the shooter was a black guy or a Muslim they would have made a LOT of noise by now for more guns, profiling and limits on immigration. It’s really too bad for them the shooter is a white guy.

None of the fourteen Republican political candidates, as of this writing, have expressed anything about the shooting. A lot of pro life people have actually expressed support for the shooter. A “friend” of mine actually wrote “yawn” in response to the coverage of the shooting and followed it up with an argument of how many babies have been aborted. These are truly horrible people. The people who express so much concern over terrorism sure are quiet and even supportive of it sometimes.

The label “pro life” is being seriously abused.

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Sitting At The Adults’ Table


cjones11232015

It wasn’t hard finding a lie for each of these candidates. The hard part was deciding which lies to use.

It is funny that the more ridiculous the candidate, the higher he or she polls. Though I must say I’m going to miss Carly and Dr. Ben after they’re done crashing.

That’s what happens after too much turkey.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Debate Terms


cjones11042015

The Republicans have submitted debate demands to the networks. These include:

No “gotcha” questions. Basically any question a candidate can’t answer, like how their math doesn’t add up, is a gotcha question.

Nobody can bring props which really disappoints me. I was really hoping to see Ted Cruz make balloon animals.

They want a ten minute break. Apparently none of the candidates has a strong bladder. They’re not Hillary Clinton who can be grilled for 11 hours.

Each candidate will get a 30-second opening statement which was negotiated down from Ben Carson’s plan of 30-minute opening statements.

No lightning rounds which is sad because I was hoping candidates would get struck by lightning for each fib.

The temperature has to be kept at 67 degrees. I think this was a Rubio demand since they won’t let him bring a cooler on stage.

Donald Trump has said screw the Republican Party’s negotiations and he’ll negotiate separately. Does that mean the room will be like a fancy car’s air system where the area over Trump’s podium will be kept at a different temperature? Will Trump negotiate a lifeline?

I think I drew the candidates in bikinis a couple of months ago. I can’t remember when or what point I was making (I just looked it up. I drew them as transgenders and it was published June 2). I usually can’t remember what I drew yesterday. However I do remember that yesterday I drew soldiers in women’s heels. I don’t know why I like drawing guys in drag. I’m not right. I’m going to blame it on watching too many Bugs Bunny cartoons as a kid. I also like the idea that somewhere soon someone will gag on their Cheerios while reading their morning paper. I also get small pleasure when someone informs me I made them spit coffee on their keyboard.

You read these cartoons at your own risk. You know how warped my mind is.

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Ain’t No Biden


cjones10262015

This is kind of a an industry insider cartoon.

Before Biden made his announcement I predicted cartoonists would draw cartoons of happy or sad cartoonists. You would think they’d prove me wrong. I saw at least three cartoons and they’re sure to get big play in reprints and syndication. Yawn.

I don’t know if the bad and lazy idea bothers me as much as the stupidity of the argument. You’re going to miss making fun of Biden because he’s the only one that says things wild and crazy?

I took the worst of the Republican lineup. You can throw all of them in there but these are my favorites.

Huckabee thinks rape is OK. For some reason he wants rapists breeding.

The fact Bobby Jindal even thinks he could be elected president is insane. He probably wants to be elected president so he can leave Louisiana. They really hate him in my home state. I’m not too fond of him here in Virginia either.

Donald Trump. Yeah.

Carly Fiorina says Hillary Clinton lied about Benghazi. The woman who lies about a video, claiming a stillborn death was an abortion…and sticks to that lie, is calling someone else a liar. Just be glad you’re not working on her campaign because you would be left without payment until she decides to run for office again.

Ben Carson is the man that makes people think brain surgery probably isn’t that hard. His latest is that the Constitution is at an 8th grade reading level. He probably thinks that because he read a portion of it.

Ted Cruz is even being dissed by president George W. Bush and I think Grandpa Munster wants his style back.

Update: A friend of mine pointed out that I labeled Carly Fiorina by only her first name. I was aware of that when I was drawing this. She’s right. We tend to identify woman by their first name. We also do that with world leaders we don’t like, Saddam being a fine example. I’m sure there’s no correlation there.

I’m guilty of propping the sexism in today’s society. I labeled “Carly” by her first name for two reasons: People do recognize her by her first name and it fit better with the space I had. Now if I had labeled the other candidates “Mike, Bobby, Donald, Ben, and Ted” the only one readers would recognize by their first name would be The Donald. They might recognize Jeb Bush by first name only as even he’s using it as his logo, plus too many people recognize his last name.

I’ll continue to use first names of individuals in my cartoons if I think readers will recognize that better than their last name. Hillary Clinton is a great example. We all know Hillary. Plus, using just “Clinton” might confuse people with that other Clinton.

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A Stake On Planned Parenthood


cjones10012015

I don’t really like to depict women as witches. But what else am I supposed to do when there’s a witch hunt? Besides, conservatives love to depict Hillary Clinton as a witch so let them enjoy these apples.

Congress has the wrong guy. Planned Parenthood has been cleared of wrongdoing by seven investigations. The videos taking aim at PP has been proven to be a hoax. Planned Parenthood is not selling body parts, they’re not in the abortion for profit business, and abortion is still legal. Yet they’re the one’s being investigated.

The anti abortion group, the Center for Medical Progress (HA!) is connected to Operation Rescue which is affiliated with people who have committed violence against doctors and abortion clinics. You know, affiliated with terrorists. Yet, Republicans want to follow their lead.

The videos are fake.

Carly Fiorina is a liar.

At Tuesday’s Congressional hearing, the republicans even had to pull out graphs with bogus information supplied by an anti-abortion group (and claimed they got it from Planned Parenthood’s books).

Now tell me, who really needs to be investigated?

If you’re going to shut the government down can you at least do it over something factual? It doesn’t matter how many times a Republicans says it’s true (they’re chopping up babies, selling body parts, breaking the law), it doesn’t make it true.

Stop wasting our time. Stop wasting our money. Do your freaking job and leave those alone who aren’t breaking the law. Investigate the Center for Medical Progress.

Carly Describes Another Video


cjones09202015

People who suffer cognitive dissonance are hard to figure out. They believe stuff that’s not true, even after it’s proven and pointed out to them. They’re still all “uh-uh.”

They believe Obama is a coming for their guns, he’s gone on an apology tour, he’s Muslim and wasn’t born in America. You can’t convince them the United States is not invading Texas, Obamacare has not installed death panels, Sharia Law is not being implemented, Eric Clapton did not write I Shot The Sheriff.

Don’t get them started on Climate Change.

Over the past few months the big lie are the videos of Planned Parenthood, which supposedly proves Planned Parenthood is chopping up dead babies and selling them to make a profit.

Now Republicans want to defund PP, despite the fact that abortion only accounts for three percent of it’s services and that government funds do not pay for abortion.

Despite the videos proven to be heavily edited, deceptive and pushing a lie, conservatives are still promoting them and using them for their argument. They’re even using these as their basis to try to shut down the government, again.

During Wednesday’s debate candidate Carly Fiorina wowed everyone with her performance, and she did a good job. She lied but but she did so convincingly. She went into great detail to describe a fetus taken out of a womb, and while its legs were still kicking a PP worker talked discussed keeping the baby alive so they can harvest the brain.

Yeah, nothing like that is in any of the 12 plus hours of these videos. Yet, Carly doesn’t have a problem being a liar. It was even pointed out to her by journalists that this scene is not in any of the content. She insisted it is and continues with her argument. This is like trying to convince someone roosters don’t lay eggs.

Having an opinion is fine. But there’s a difference between opinion and fact. If you’re anti choice, that’s fine, but I wonder how strong is your belief in your cause if you can’t stick to the truth. You have a weak argument if you need lies to advance your agenda.

I understand. You don’t think it’s a lie. It’s been proven as a lie, but you still believe in the lie. You probably have a bigger problem than being a liar. You might be a lunatic.

Now another one of them is running for president.

Reagan’s Boots


cjones09182015

I like and hate this cartoon. I like it because I believe in the message that Carly Fiorina did win the 2nd Republican debate. I hate it because Republicans are going to love it and use it to further cheer lead for Fiorina. While winning on style, Fiorina was full of crap. Also, just because she’s wearing Reagan’s boots, that’s not necessarily a good thing. I feel kinda dirty.

Fiorina competed on a stage with ten male candidates. Some of them very accomplished, successful and experienced for the presidency. She stood taller than the rest. She was firm and direct with her answers, even if they were ridiculous.

While she should be compared with the other candidates, it’s fair to also compare her to other female Republicans since so few have made an impact. She’s no Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann because Carly Fiorina is not an idiot or a ridiculous person. Plus, Fiorina can articulate a complete sentence. The only thing Palin or Bachmann has over her is that they have held political office. You can’t really compare her to conservative commentator Ann Coulter as Coulter is just a horrible and nasty person in general. Fiorina carries herself with a little grace and class while Coulter is just a human garbage disposal of vitriol.

Let’s get back to the debate and Carly Fiorina:

I don’t like any of the Republican candidates. That said, Fiorina beat all of them which gives her two debate wins in a row. Of course she’s on stage with republicans so you have to take that into account. The other candidates who did a good job were Jeb Bush and Chris Christie.

The problem for Fiorina during the debate was when she defended her business record. Fiorina was CEO of Hewlett Packard and during her term their stock dropped 55% and she laid off 30,000 employees. It’s hard to sell yourself as a job creator when you fire 30,000 people. HP wanted to get rid of her so bad they felt it was worth $21 million to make it happen.

Fiorina won the debate on style. She didn’t win it on facts or for having plausible plans. She smacked down Trump and even made him shut up after he attempted to defuse his insults of her by saying she’s beautiful. She was solid on her knowledge of international issues and the Constitution. But she gave some bizarre answers.

To intimidate Russia and show Putin that a real Reaganesque leader was now in charge, Fiorina will rebuild the Sixth Fleet which is already huge. She’ll rebuild the missile defense plan in Poland which would probably be completed after Putin’s out of power. Plus, how many more warheads do we have to point at Putin to intimidate the guy? She wants to put more troops in Germany…where we already have over 40,000. That’s only 10,000 fewer than she laid off from HP.  Of course all this is red meat to war mongering Republicans. With all her attacks on Iran and wanting to continue an embargo of the country she failed to mention, or forgets, that HP probably violated the embargo by selling Iran computer parts.

She talked about Immigration Reform. All Republicans ignore the fact that President Obama has asked Congress to send him a reform package but they haven’t done anything in regards to immigration.

Her biggest applause line of the night: a riff on the Planned Parenthood tapes that set conservative Twitter afire. “I dare Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama to watch these tapes. Watch a fully formed fetus on the table, it’s heart beating, it’s legs kicking while someone says we have to keep it alive to harvest its brain.”

The only problem? Nothing like that happens in the Planned Parenthood tapes. As Sarah Kliff, who has watched all the tapes, wrote, “either Fiorina hasn’t watched the Planned Parenthood videos or she is knowingly misrepresenting the footage.”

She won’t be judged for telling a lie. She’s judged for telling Republicans what they want to hear and what they want to hear are lies. They’re willing to shut down the government over lies.

Fiorina was confronted after the debate on the fact the scene she depicted was not in any of the 12 plus hours of the tapes. She stated she didn’t misspeak, they’re in the tapes and she saw them and shame on Democrats blah blah blah. Just repeat the lie and the masses will eat it up. It’ll work for her.

Fiorina is going to be very formidable and there’s speculation that after her performance she’ll eat into the other candidates’ numbers, most likely Ben Carson’s support.

While we’re here let’s analyze a bit of the other candidates’ debate performances:

Lindsey Graham was at the “Kids Table” debate and he earned some high marks. Mostly he was self effacing and wants to increase drinking among politicians. The other three guys during that debate didn’t stand out and former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore wasn’t denied participating. We keep sending him out of the state to debate and they keep sending him back.

Chris Christie has been a footnote but last night might give him a boost. He directly challenged the other candidates and even smacked down Fiorina and Trump at the same time.

Marco Rubio came through with a solid performance. He may get a bit of a bump but more importantly he’s staving off disaster. He’s going to be a more serious candidate in the future. From what platform I’m not sure since he won’t be a U.S. senator anymore.

Donald Trump was a bit more low key than usual. Most of the audience was establishment Republicans and they’re not his crowd. He didn’t get any wild cheers or support from the audience. He disappeared during talks on foreign policy and even his cheap insults at Rand Paul were flat. Apparently he’s not physically attracted to Rand Paul. He didn’t hurt himself as much as Fiorina probably hurt him. He’s still the man on top.

Ted Cruz was his creepy self. Watching him made me wonder what the hell is wrong in Texas to put Grandpa Munster (without the charm) in the senate? Anybody? He talked about his background and his parents but failed to mention Canada. He also wants to put his wife on the $10 bill. But again, creepy. He also plugged a political cartoon which excited several of my colleagues until we realized the guy drawing those things isn’t a real cartoonist and actually draws talking points for right-wing think-tanks.

Jeb! was the adult in the room. He was as solid as Carly yet had a bit more personality and humor. He even had a little energy to him. He confronted Trump and even slapped hands with him. He improved from his first debate. He also said he smoked pot when he was a kid. His biggest gaffe was saying his brother protected America, totally forgetting September 11, the invading the wrong country, Katrina, Dick Cheney, etc. Maybe it was all that marijuana. Somebody buy the guy a bag of Rainbow Doritos.

Rand Paul did a really good job that will be totally meaningless. He’s an isolationist and this crowd really wants to nuke somebody. He battled Trump. Got insulted by Trump. He insulted Trump in a significant manner. None of this will matter in regards to his campaign. Paul is about done.

John Kasich was on the same stage as everyone else. That’s about it. I forgot he was there for most of the night.

Mike Huckabee was forgettable also. He further showed he doesn’t understand the Constitution. He’s Ted Cruz lite. All the bigotry with less creepiness.

I think Scott Walker fell off the stage. He was barely visible. Didn’t get much speaking time. Didn’t say anything significant. The Koches’ investment is him is as big of a business success as Fiorina’s time at HP.

Ben Carson is the biggest loser from the debate. He had momentum. He’s second in polls. He had an opportunity to increase his numbers and instead he put everyone to sleep. His only high point was schooling Trump in medicine. He also said we shouldn’t have attacked Afghanistan after 9/11 which is something even liberal Democrats supported.

They also asked each candidate to say which woman they would want on the $10.00 bill. Out of eleven Republicans they could only name four women who made an impact in America’s history. Four of them couldn’t even name one, instead saying they want their wife, mother or a non American.

The debate was three hours long which is too long. Screw the polls. They should split the next debate in two like they’re doing now, but pull names out of a hat. Maybe Trump can loan them one.  They can put an equal number of whoever’s left in the two debates. After two debates it’s a waste of time to continue wasting air time on a few of these candidates who don’t have a shot in Hell like Paul, Huckabee, Cruz, or Kasich.