Bill Clinton

Trump’s Starr Defense


cjones01222020

Upon hearing that Ken Starr, who probably still has files on Bill Clinton’s sex life underneath his mattress, has been appointed by Donald Trump to serve on his legal defense team for his impeachment trial next week before the United States Senate, Monica Lewinsky tweeted, “This is definitely an ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ kinda day.”

Ken Starr was the Independent Counsel who expanded an investigation into a bad land deal into President Bill Clinton’s sex life. He filed the Starr Report with a Republican Congress alleging that Clinton lied during a sworn deposition about an affair with Lewinsky which led to Congress impeaching Clinton, and ultimately a Senate trial where he was acquitted.

So yeah. Ken Starr being part of a defense that the most lying president in the history of the United States shouldn’t be impeached, years after filing a report that lying about a blowjob is, is an “are you fucking kidding me” kinda day. Ken Starr, who believed Bill Clinton should be impeached for one lie, is going to defend the guy who’s told over 15,000. For Ken Starr, using taxpayer money to extort a foreign nation and ask them to investigate a political opponent and help his reelection campaign isn’t that bad, but Oval Office B-Jays are naughty.

Ken Starr has a thing about sex. Basically, it’s bad when Democrats do it. Remember, he inherited the investigation into a bad land deal and then went to see what was in Clinton’s pants and what he had been doing with it. It must have been impressive because Ken Starr spent four years looking at it. Ken Starr spent tens of millions more on his land deal/blowjob investigation than Robert Mueller ever dreamed of, even with it being 1990s dollars.

When Ken Starr was President of Baylor University, he was forced to resign after covering up a sex scandal involving the school’s football team.

As Independent Counsel, Starr was so keen on impeaching Bill Clinton that he expanded the investigation from a bad land deal into Clinton firing employees in the White House travel office, abuse of confidential FBI files, the Clintons’ involvement with the Rose Law Firm and Madison Guaranty, Vince Foster’s suicide, Paula Jones’ lawsuit against Clinton, and finally, Clinton’s Oval Office fiddling with Monica Lewinsky. It’s a good thing Bill Clinton never wore a tan suit or put mustard on a cheeseburger.

A lot of people weren’t impressed with Ken Starr. One guy said he was “off his rocker, a “lunatic,” a “disaster,” and a “total wacko.” But Starr’s hypocrisy won’t be the only one on display since the guy who made those comments was Donald Trump.

One thing that’s been proven by Trump adding Starr to his legal defense team is that Bill Clinton’s impeachment 20 years ago was nothing but partisan bullshit.

The greatest irony in all of this is that Ken Starr filed a report about Bill Clinton lying under oath, and will now present a legal defense before a bunch of Senators who just did the same.

The 90s are back and they’re giving us Ken Starr, Alan Dershowitz, and Mambo No. 5.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Ugly Impeachment Sweater


CNN12192019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

We published this week’s newsletter on Friday, which was a few days earlier than usual. As you see, I drew on the impeachment.

It amazes me that a lot of people still don’t understand impeachment. Many think it means Trump is out of office. Others think he’s not impeached unless the Senate convicts. For those who slept during civics class, Donald Trump is impeached. There is no changing that fact. He’s impeached, impeached, impeached. Done deal. He’s one of only three presidents to have been impeached. It doesn’t matter what the Senate does, he’s still impeached. No, he is not removed from office and won’t be unless the Senate convicts, which in this case, probably won’t. No president has ever been removed from office by the Senate.

Now, you can expect Donald Trump to wear his ugly impeachment sweater as a badge of honor. He’ll campaign in it while telling his supporters that he’s a victim and the “assault” on him is an assault on them. They’ll buy it so get ready to hear that, not just for the entire duration of the 2020 presidential campaign, but for the rest of your life.

I think this is my first Christmas-themed cartoon of the year. I’m doing a second today for my newspaper clients, and that will be my last until next year. Out of all the political cartoonists in the country, I probably draw the fewest holiday-themed cartoons.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Four Pigs And An Escalator


cjones07142019

As federal prosecutors in New York were bringing new charges against billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein, liberals were pointing out his connections to Donald Trump, excluding those with former president Bill Clinton. Conservatives were doing the same thing, except pointing out Epstein’s connections to Clinton and not those with Trump. The thing is, this is not a partisan issue. It’s an issue of rich men protecting other rich men.

One of the fine ladies who proofreads my cartoons told me, “It’s about being above the law and hurting the weak with impunity. If you’re rich enough, the laws don’t apply.” What happens to women, and in this case, underage girls doesn’t take precedence when the accused is a billionaire in the Men’s Club.

Epstein chummed around for decades with celebrities, such as Britain’s Prince Andrew and Bill Cosby, which doesn’t help his case. For decades, his penchant for young women was well known in his social circle. Bill Clinton, whom you may have heard has had his own sordid past with women, was a friend of Epstein’s. Clinton claims he never knew of Epstein’s behavior and only flew on his private jet four times. Flight records show that the number is actually over two dozen times.

His connections to Trump are less clear, but they were friends. One of Epstein’s accusers said in court documents that she was recruited to give Epstein massages while she was working at Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump’s private golf resort in Florida. Epstein has been photographed with Trump at the resort. The resort is really popular with Chinese spies and pedophiles.

In 2002, Trump told New York Magazine that Epstein was a “terrific guy” whom he had known for 15 years. He said, “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

Now, Trump says they were never friends despite calling him “terrific,” “fun to be around,” and a guy he’s known for 15 years. Trump also knew him well enough to know he likes beautiful women as much as he does and that many of them are on the “younger side.” That younger side is where the problems come in.

Epstein is a registered sex offender thanks to a plea deal he struck in Florida, but it’s that plea deal which is his other connection to Donald Trump.

Trump’s Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta was the lead federal prosecutor against Epstein. Thanks to meticulous reporting by The Miami Herald (because journalism is more important today than ever), we now know that Acosta was personally involved in striking a deal that saved Epstein from a trial and federal charges where he could have faced life in prison. Instead, Acosta gave him a deal where Epstein served 13 months in county jail instead of prison, and he was allowed to be picked up six days a week by his personal driver and go to work for up to 12 hours a day. Basically, for 13 months, he was forced to spend the night in jail, but not to actually have to live there.

Hundreds of underage girls were brought to Epstein by his recruiters in his sex ring to give what they were told were massages. Prosecutors did not inform the victims of the plea deal until after a judge approved it, even though federal law requires victims to be informed of major developments involving their complaints. Maybe Acosta didn’t believe a plea deal was a major development.

Last year, the Herald uncovered that Acosta was meeting personally with one of Epstein’s lawyers, who was also a former colleague of Acosta’s. You would think there would be a recusal there because of a conflict of interest.

According to a thank-you note from one of Epstein’s lawyers to Acosta, they were assured by Acosta that none of the identified individuals, potential witnesses, or potential civil claimants would be contacted over the deal. Acosta’s office also agreed to help shield the deal from public scrutiny. The lead prosecutor wrote to Epstein’s lawyers at the time, “I can file the charge in district court in Miami which will hopefully cut the press coverage significantly. Do you want to check that out?”

Do you want to check that out? They were seeking approval from the pedophile’s lawyer on how to file the charges. Now, that lead prosecutor is the nation’s Labor Secretary. This morning, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and the Senates Minority Leader Chuck Schumer called for Acosta to either step down or be removed.

Donald Trump isn’t just friends with pedophiles, sex offenders, and your run-of-the-mill slimy bastards. He’s friends with people who help those slimy bastards cover their slime, which is good for Trump because he’s a degenerate himself. This is a man who’s talked about dating his daughter, has bragged about grabbing women “by the pussy,” has boasted about barging into teenage girls’ dressing rooms, and has been caught coming down an escalator commenting on a child, “I’m going to be dating her in ten years.”

Now, federal prosecutors in New York are charging Epstein for sex trafficking of minors. Hopefully, the same office will be able to go after Trump someday and they will have many options of charges because the only difference between Trump and Epstein is that Epstein got caught.

Trump found it amusing that Epstein likes them on the “younger side,” because that’s how he likes them too.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

MAGA Bomber


cjones10282018

After bombs were delivered to two former presidents, a former presidential candidate, a former CIA director, and other officials, the very first thing Republicans did was…make themselves the victims.

Republicans, who have been accusing Democrats of not having anything to run on except hatred for Donald Trump, have been campaigning on fear. Some GOP candidates have accused their opponents of supporting terrorists and even of being terrorists. They’re screaming about a caravan of refugees seeking asylum, who are still about 3,000 miles south of our Border, and describing them as an “invasion.” They say they’re creating jobs while Democrats create mobs.

Donald Trump has spent three years calling the media “fake news,” and over the past year has called them the “enemy of the people.” At a rally this week, he praised a Republican congressman for body slamming a reporter. He’s encouraged his supporters to rough up protesters at his rallies, promising to pay their legal bills (he doesn’t pay his own legal bills). He’s called the press “horrible people” and his political opponents “evil.” He defended Nazis and white supremacists at a rally where they killed a woman. He has yet to hold a rally where a “lock her up” chant didn’t break out, including last night’s rally after the attempted bombings.

Each of the bombing targets, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Democratic philanthropist George Soros, Congresswoman Maxine Waters, former Attorney General Eric Holder, former CIA director John Brennan, and the offices of CNN, have been harshly criticized by Trump.

Despite all this violent and hateful rhetoric, Trump sycophants are making the argument that a Democrat sent the bombs as a campaign tactic for the midterms. Based on that logic, Sheldon Adelson is financing the caravan and Republicans have been screaming at themselves and interrupting their own dinners.

Since none of the bombs exploded (and there may still be more out there), they argue that the bombs were fake and Democrats and the media are making too big of a deal out of it. These are the same people who freaked out and defended the arrest of a Muslim elementary student for bringing a homemade clock to school.

Even though he issued a statement and spoke at his rally about unity (try not to laugh), Trump has yet to call this incident “terrorism.” Even if the bombs were fake, even if it was just a bomb threat with a phone call, it’s still terrorism. Terrorism is designed to incite fear and panic. Basically, it works like Trump’s mouth.

There were typos on the envelopes. Each bomb’s return address belonged to a district office of Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, which received Eric Holder’s bomb after it was returned. Some bombs had a parody of an ISIS flag meme that’s really popular in places like 4chan. The bombs contained shrapnel and were put together with tape. The bomb delivered to CNN was meant for Brennan, though he’s an analyst at MSNBC. If anyone needs to send me anything, I’m at Breitbart.

It is highly unlikely the sender or senders are Democrats trying to embarrass Trump. The bomb maker was probably wearing a MAGA hat while constructing his devices.

At his rally last night, Trump criticized the media for being negative. But, the most negative coverage the media reports is what’s coming from Trump’s mouth.

Trump and Republicans claim they create jobs while Democrats create mobs. But this week, Some Republican was creating bombs.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Crazy Bubba


cjones10072016

Hillary Clinton is running in a very tight race against a lunatic and the survival of life as we know it hangs in the balance. What doesn’t she need right now? Oh, I don’t know. How about her husband and former president Bill Clinton stating at a rally that “Obamacare is the craziest thing in the world?” It’s kinda hard to fight an ogre if a member of the anti-ogre defense team keeps feeding it.

Bill Clinton is a master campaigner. He ran circles around Republicans in the 1990’s and totally drove them insane. To this day they’re still investigating the Clintons and recycling rumors and stupid jokes from 20 years ago, like drawing him in heart-decorated boxers. Did I do that? Anyway…What he doesn’t do as well is campaign for other people.

Two years into his presidency he lost the House and Senate in what at the time was the largest flip of congressional control in U.S. history. Democrats weren’t able to take them back until George W. Bush was in office.

Bill Clinton is a lot of fun…for cartoonists. I’m sure the White House and Clinton campaign are having lots of fun trying to repair the damage Willie just inflicted.

I drew this cartoon twice. Ack. I wasn’t happy with the flow of the artwork in the first one. It was too stiff. So I destroyed it and started over. Unfortunately by that time it was 4:00 AM. I’m really tired and the tacos I had for dinner didn’t last and now I’m hungry again.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Sleazin’ With Bill


cjones0702016

Bill Clinton is a political genius.

Bill Clinton is a student of politics. He failed in his first two attempts at public office but he learned each time and became educated on the art of politics. Then he became governor of Arkansas. And then he lost his first reelection for the governor’s office. And two years later (Arkansas has a messed up system where governors serve two years at a time) he came roaring back, educated, and was the governor of the state for ten years.

When he ran for president he had a rough time in the early primaries but then he came back to win the nomination and eventually the general election and became president. In his first two years he started his health care program, lost congress and generally got beat up politically. Then he came roaring back again.

Bill Clinton played Newt Gingrich and the GOP and ran wild on them. Even losing ratings in favorability while scoring high approval ratings for job performance,nothing could topple Bubba. Despite being impeached he scored high job approval ratings. Bob Dole can tell you about it.

Pundits say the Clintons come with sleaze. They do come with sleaze. But they were trained in Southern politics. You don’t succeed in the South without playing politics and being a bit sleazy. Bill and Hillary are good people and they do want progress for this nation, and themselves, but they can only do it with a little sleaze. It’s the only way they know how.

Even when Bill campaigned in the South for reelection to the presidency he would incorporate a very Southern twang while campaigning in the South. He plays people. He manipulates. He might do stupid thing, but he’s not stupid. The man is the best politician we’ll ever see in our lifetime. Ronald Reagan would come in second. Barack Obama would come in third.

So when Bill Clinton walked into Attorney General Lorreta Lynch’s airplane to talk about grandchildren, he knew what he was doing. He’s not stupid. He was playing her and she, like the GOP in the 1990’s, let herself be strung. Play it, Bubba, play it. When you’re a former president there’s not a places where people say you can’t enter. You’re not just a former president, you’re Bill Clinton. The last president to leave office with a plus approval rating and a diminished deficit. Eat that, George W. Seriously, who says “no,” you can’t enter that room?

It has an appearance of impropriety that Lynch would have a “chat” with Bill while his wife is under investigation by her department. Her defense is “it was wrong because of the appearance it gives. It was a mistake. I wouldn’t do it again.” You don’t have to do it again because Bill only needed you to do it the one time. The “wouldn’t do it again” exuse is the same excuse Hillary gives for her server issues currently under investigation. Loretta will remember her own defense when the time comes, if it comes, to prosecute.

Did I mention Bill Clinton is a political genius?

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Hacking Hillary


cjones05272016

Right now Hillary Clinton might prefer talking about Bill Clinton’s philandering than her email server.

A State Department watchdog issued a report that Hillary Clinton violated rules over her use of a private server. We all knew that. What we did not know was the extent of it.

Clinton claims she had approval to use her personal server which was stored in her New York home’s basement. She didn’t. She claims she’s happy to talk to anyone at anytime about the issue, yet she declined to talk to the Inspector General during their investigation. Several of her aides also declined, with one not even responding to the request.

John Bentel, director of the Office of Information Resources Management, declined to be interviewed during the investigation. When a staffer raised concerns that Hillary’s email violated rules, he told the staffer never to speak of it again. It’s like Fight Club over at the State Department.

It’s so much like Fight Club, that only a few people were even aware Clinton was using a private server. She refused to use a  State email and even refused to release her email address to the State Department. The senior officials outside of her privileged circle who became aware of her private email, only became aware because her emails to them originated from a rotating cluster of private clintonemail.com addresses. That sounds more like the habit of a drug dealer buying a new cell phone and number at Walmart every week.

Clinton claims her server was safe from hackers, but it turns out there were several attempts to break into her email. Clinton didn’t report these attempts to the State Department and apparently took them about as seriously as those emails from that Nigerian Prince (Nigeria is not a monarchy, by the way).

It is extremely difficult for a presidential candidate to fight the perception of being dishonest by being dishonest. It also gives Donald Trump more leeway to use the nickname “Crooked Hillary” even though he doesn’t really understand the issue.

Now with all this bad stuff, what does this mean for Clinton? It means she violated a rule and that’s really it legally. This isn’t a criminal offense. It’s a stupid offense. You can use this to determine whether you should vote for her or not. I would rather live with Clinton’s dishonesty than Trump’s. At least Clinton knows what she’s lying about.

Yes, the State Department’s email system is extremely convoluted and inept. Yes, other Secretaries had personal emails, but the rules change every few years. Blackberries weren’t in widespread use during Colin Powell’s tenure (did they even exist at the time?) and Condoleeza Rice claims she never used email, which I find amazing (I have only one friend who’s not on any social media and even he emails though it’s a real pain explaining twitter, hashtags and trending to him. I’m not even gonna attempt to explain “poking”).

Most of the people who will use this EmailGate brouhaha are like Donald Trump, and they don’t really understand it. It is complex and conservatives don’t do well with intricacies. While there isn’t any criminal level transgression here, the larger issue is Clinton’s candor.

I don’t really care about her emails or server. I do care about the honesty. I believe she’s evasive with answers because she doesn’t believe she should be bothered with the questions. Trump lies because he’s pathological and actually believes his lies and that he’s still in the business of selling steaks, even while he’s replacing the food mart labels with Trump labels. Trump is likely to tell us he’s 20 feet tall, and believe that he’s 20 feet tall, and that we should all go fact check it. When you ask him about it tomorrow he’ll talk about Monica Lewinsky or refer to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas.

Hillary Clinton will be president. There will be more dishonesty. There will be scandals, which will be a huge change after the scandal free Obama administration (yes, you wingnuts. Scandal free). Bill Clinton will break something. But a Hillary Clinton presidency will not destroy the nation like a Donald Trump presidency will. I would vote for Mitt Romney and that agenda of everything I’m against before I could poison my nation with the buffoonery of Donald Trump.

Your issues in this presidential election may be Emails, Benghazi, Bill Clinton’s greatest sexcapades of the 1990’s. The biggest and most dangerous issue is Donald Trump. You should email this blog and cartoon to one of his supporters.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!