Off The Blood Of Dead Children


cjones08042015

I was talking to a friend last week and he mentioned how he always respects opinions he disagrees with. I think that’s really big of him. I don’t.

If your opinion is supported by lies, and the truth has been published repeatedly, yet you still cling to the lie then I don’t feel any responsibility to have to respect your choice to be an ignorant dumbass.

Planned Parenthood has been attacked a lot lately. An anti-choice group keeps secretly video taping meetings with members of Planned Parenthood, then they distribute heavily edited copies of the videos. Today nutjobs believe Planned Parenthood is selling dead baby body parts and making a huge profit from it. No they are not. They’re not even selling body parts.

Members of Congress are now using these lies in an attempt to take funding away from Planned Parenthood.

Here are some facts anti-choice fanatics don’t want to know, believe or they just stick their fingers in their ears when it’s brought up and sing “la-la-la-la-Jesus-la-la-la-la:”

Federal money does not pay for abortions. Abortions only account for 3% of what Planned Parenthood does. Because of Planned Parenthood there are fewer abortions. Planned Parenthood mostly works to keep people, especially teenagers, from unwanted pregnancies. Any tissue from an abortion that is used for medical science has to be donated by the patient. Planned Parenthood does not make money on this. La-la-la-la-Jesus-la-la-la-la.

Here’s where conservatives are hypocrites:

They’re all about privacy unless the organization being videotaped is a liberal group. They’re all about privacy unless it’s a woman’s body. They’re all about a child unless it’s actually born and then they fight against feeding and educating that child. They don’t want anyone to get an abortion but they don’t want sex education in schools telling kids what exactly makes them pregnant.

Trust me on the fact there are people out there that aren’t sure what causes pregnancy. Some people are that stupid. Did you know there is a recall of single cheese slices right now because some idiots are eating the plastic? I gave an unwrapped slice to my Beagle yesterday to see if he was smart enough to remove the plastic and guess what. He removed the plastic. If there are people out there who don’t know how to unwrap a slice of cheese then there are those who don’t know how to wrap a penis.

So yeah, there’s a lot of people out there I don’t feel the need to respect. If you have read about the facts on Planned Parenthood and you continue to spread the lies (I’m looking at you nutjob conservative cartoonists), then you’re not just a liar, you’re an unethical, despicable Santorum. Yeah, go Google another definition for “Santorum.” You’re gonna love it.

And you should probably stop eating cheese.

 

 

 

Good Time For A Shoulder Rub


cjones08032015

I had a very easy time coming up with cartoon ideas last week. I don’t think I struggled for any ideas for the nine cartoons I drew (except the one I drew for The Indy because local issues are usually a little more difficult).

Tonight however I had a difficult time. I walked around my little studio all day trying to think of an idea and nothing was clicking. Around midnight I made a pot of coffee. Before I was halfway done with the first cup I got this idea.

Ah, coffee. The nectar of cartoon ideas. Of course now I’m gonna be up all night but I’ll sacrifice sleep for a cartoon idea.

I am a bit concerned this idea may not be a good one. The reader will have to know Biden is famous for his awkward shoulder rubs. Not everyone is a political geek like me.

Who’s Excited For The GOP Debate?


cjones08022015

I had a tough time with this angle. I penciled and erased four or five times. I’m surprised I didn’t ruin the paper. Then I took a ball point and drew it in my notebook and it turned out how I wanted. Sheesh. I went from there.

I drew too many cartoons this week. Not really, but more than required. I promise my syndication clients four a week. I gave them seven. I also drew custom cartoons for The Independent in St. George, Utah (that will run Sunday) and The Daily Dot (which was my last cartoon for The Daily Dot).

I don’t think I’m just giving my clients quantity here. Sometimes I can’t stop drawing. I really don’t have anything else to do other than play with the Beagle and my guitars. I’d rather draw cartoons than feed the trolls on social media.

I might take tomorrow off.

Big Game OverCompensating


cjones07312015

So this dentist from Minnesota goes to Zimbabwe and shoots a famous lion. The jerk claims he didn’t know he was doing anything wrong while luring the lion, wearing a collar, out of a protected habitat. This isn’t far removed from shooting fish in a barrel. It’s not even hunting. It’s just killing. That’s a sport?

A friend of the dentist was on CNN defending the manly hunter. He said hunting was their heritage and it’s how they grew up. I’m sorry but I can’t believe you grew up in Minnesota hunting and eating lions. If you’re gonna shoot anything while growing up in Minnesota your targets are gonna be deer, badgers and Packer fans. Don’t cha know?

These guys also state how people who didn’t grow up in a hunting culture can’t understand hunting big game for sport. First thing, Tiny Johnson, it’s not a sport when only one person is playing. Let the lion hunt you and the only one who’ll think it’s a sport will be the lion. Second, I grew up in Louisiana. Louisiana calls itself the “Sportsman’s Paradise.” I grew up around guns and hunters. I even tried hunting when I was a kid and I failed to see the sport in it. I also didn’t like the part that entailed waking up early to freeze my butt off in a tree at 5:00 AM. So no, despite growing up in a hunting and gun culture I can’t see the desire in killing something beautiful and majestic and hanging its head on my wall. Then again, some might question whether I’m even good at being a Southern boy. I don’t even like grits.

I’m not anti hunting. I do believe it has its place. I know it helps prevent overpopulating deer. Some people actually eat what they kill. When I was a kid my Uncle Rock (he really looked like a rock) always had deer, squirrel and duck in a freezer. If you went to his house you ate. He had a gun cabinet, always locked, with guns he used for hunting. He didn’t have an AR-15 or an AK47. He mostly had shotguns and he never felt the need to carry his guns into a coffee shop or advertise he had guns. I also don’t recall any animal trophies on his walls. So there is a hunting culture that is healthy and even beneficial to the environment. Shooting a lion is not a part of that. Perhaps if some of these big game guys shot themselves that’d be beneficial the environment.

I do think these big game hunters are overcompensating for something. You really gotta have a tiny thingy and too much money to spend $50,000, fly half way around the world to kill something.  On that note, anyone who has to own a bunch of guns, brag about their guns and carry them into a grocery store has got to be really struggling below the belt.

They make pills for that. They’re blue. Look it up.

I did have another idea for this topic. I actually liked it. Its only fault was that it wasn’t insulting hunters’ and gun nuts’ penis size.