Trump Tower

Mueller Christmas


cjones12042018

Last night, CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin told Anderson Cooper, “Today’s the first day I actually thought Donald Trump might not finish his term in office.”

There has been a lot of speculation from people who dislike Trump that he wouldn’t finish his first term. You heard that before the inauguration. But, knowing just how difficult it is to remove an elected president, most legal analysts were skeptical. We’ve impeached two presidents and neither was removed from office.

Toobin laid out “preposterous” positions that Trump and his supporters now have to weave. They have to believe Trump lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen negotiated a deal with Russia for six months without telling Trump, that Trump and Roger Stone never discussed WikiLeaks, and that Don Jr. never talked to his father about the Trump Tower meeting with Kremlin-linked Russians offering dirt on Hillary Clinton.

The same people who will believe each of those positions also believed Trump when he said he wasn’t aware of any payoffs to porn stars before a tape recorded by Cohen revealed Trump was in the discussions on paying off porn stars.

Cohen has reached a plea deal with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and what he’s revealing is enough to make the leader of a nation want to run and hide in South America. Argentina has history with hiding Nazis with Russian troubles.

Cohen is revealing that he lied to Congress to protect Trump and be consistent with his message. He now says Trump directed his initial financial crimes.

We learned that Trump’s liaison Felix Sater invited Cohen to attend an economic forum with Vladimir Putin’s Press Secretary Dmitry Peskov to negotiate building a Trump Tower in Moscow during the 2016 presidential campaign. Cohen now refutes Trump’s often-repeated claim that he had nothing to do with Russia as he sought the White House. Shortly after Cohen’s court appearance, federal agents raided the office of Trump’s tax lawyer.

Perhaps juiciest of all is a report from Buzzfeed that Trump tried to bribe Putin by offering to gift him the $50 million penthouse in the proposed Trump Tower. It is not normal for a presidential candidate to conduct business deals with a hostile government. It’s even more bizarre for a candidate to attempt to bribe a foreign leader. Where is the president’s loyalty if he’s in a urine-soaked bed with Vladimir Putin?

We have learned that denial to Trump means innocence and facts don’t matter. In regards to meddling in our election, he defended Putin by citing his denial. He defended Roy Moore over accusations of pedophilia by pointing at his denial. He’s defended Mohammad Bin Salman over murdering a journalist by using his denial. When Trump attacked Democrats who sexually harassed women, Sarah Huckabee Sanders defended the hypocrisy by championing Trump’s denial.

Trump spent the last two years denying he had any business relationship with Russia. On Thursday, he said the man who was his personal attorney, fixer, and vice president of his company was a liar, which is what he also called him before he produced the Stormy recordings. Trump went on to say he didn’t have any business dealings with Russia, but it wouldn’t have been illegal if he did. This morning, he’s admitting he did but it’s “cool.”

It’s not cool. We know Trump’s denials are always empty, and they turn into lies. Trump lied for over two years about having business with Russia. He lied every time he shouted and tweeted “no collusion.”

I’m not totally convinced that Trump won’t finish his term, but I do wish him a very Mueller Christmas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Cooking With Kellyanne


cjones03142017

Malfunctioning Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway said she saw reports of the government being able to spy on you through your microwave.

No, Kellyanne. That was a political cartoon I drew last week.

When Trump tweeted that Obama had wiretapped him, he specifically mentioned “Obama.” He referred to the former president as “sick.” Over the weekend and today his staff was trying to twist Trump’s tweet, that he meant the Obama administration, or the government.

They’re trying to move the goalposts. They’re ignoring the part of the tweets where Trump mentioned Obama personally having Trump Tower bugged. Never mind the fact that Trump tweeted these allegations three times. They’re even trying to change the definition of “wiretapping.”

That’s what’s wrong with these people. They tell lies. They get busted. Instead of apologizing or correcting themselves, they invent more bullshit until they finally get to the point where they act like it wasn’t ever said at all.

Personally I think Kellyanne’s brain has been overcooked.

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Madly Manly Men


cjones03072017.jpg

Yes. Donald Trump might be insane. I’m just kidding. There’s no “might” about it.

Watching his rants is reminiscent of Charlie Sheen’s very public meltdown from a few years ago. The only difference is that Sheen might have been a bit more coherent and he wasn’t sober.

Watching Trump meltdown in fits of rage, making up crowd sizes, election results, terrorists attacks, and accusing Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower, would be mere amusement like Sheen’s, except for the fact he’s taking us down with him.

I’m not sure any amount of “tiger blood” will ever have Trump “winning.”

I actually like Two And A Half Men. It amuses me when I want to turn off politics and not think about anything. Sure, it’s not great art but it’s also not Two Broke Girls.

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Tapped Wire Or Fried Wires?


cjones03052017

Donald Trump has lost his mind. This is not a new development.

Before he ran for president he was behind the birther campaign accusing President Obama of being born in Kenya. He swore he’d reveal the truth and claimed he hired investigators that would expose all. Years later near the end of the presidential campaign he finally said “Obama was born in the United States. Next topic please.”

During the campaign he said he saw thousands of Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 9/11. There’s no evidence this ever happened but he clung to it until it silently faded away.

He also accused Ted Cruz’s father of being a part of the conspiracy to assassinate President Kennedy. No proof of this ever materialized either and it once again silently faded away.

Trump has believed in all sorts of crazy things like China being behind the “global warming conspiracy,” Scalia being murdered, to Obama and Hillary wanting to take everyone’s guns.

Now he believes that during the campaign Obama personally ordered Trump Towers to be bugged.

Trump is currently fighting off potential investigations that his campaign coordinated with Putin’s Russian government to win the election. His first attempts at distraction was to raise the fact that several Democrats met with Russian officials.

He’s either a mad genius to use that as a distraction or he’s too stupid to understand the issue he’s actually embroiled in. There’s nothing wrong with government officials meeting with officials from foreign governments, especially out in the open. What’s not cool is meeting with them in secret during a campaign and lying to Congress about it.

Trump could have had a relatively quiet weekend hitting golf balls in Florida at his Mar-a-Lago resort and send the bill to taxpayers. Instead he engaged in a Twitter storm.

He started Friday by tweeting “I hereby demand a second investigation, after Schumer, of Pelosi for her close ties to Russia, and lying about it.” It took him three tweets, deleting the first two, to work out the spelling of “hereby.” Apparently there was not a spell checker “near by” or “nearby.”

Come Saturday morning he was bombing social media once again tweeting “Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!” That would not be McCarthyism. McCarthyism is more like telling the public that the press are the enemy of the American people.

He wasn’t done. He followed that tweet with “Is it legal for a sitting President to be “wire tapping” a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW!”

And then “I’d bet a good lawyer could make a great case out of the fact that President Obama was tapping my phones in October, just prior to Election!”

Of course Trump hasn’t provided any proof and if history is any indication he never will.

What could set Trump off like this? It couldn’t be from a national security briefing because that would show the president of the United States can’t be trusted with classified information. No. It’s from a conservative radio host throwing the conspiracy out there, and then having it followed up by Breitbart, the scary alt-right racist publication formerly headed by his puppeteer Steve Bannon.

The really stupid thing in all this is that Trump’s people will believe him. They already believe Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim out to take their guns. Why won’t they believe this? They, like #45, do not need evidence to believe whatever the hell they want to believe.

But hey, let’s keep our eyes on that lying fake news media. Right? Though the big carrot may not need any help taking himself down.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!