Trump Tower

Prisonburgh For Weisselberg

The Trump Crime Family, er, the Trump Organization was charged yesterday for running a scheme to help its executives avoid paying taxes by compensating them with benefits hidden from authorities. Its top executive, Allen Weisselberg, was also charged yesterday for not paying taxes on $1.7 million in perks that should have been reported as income.

For those of you who are Trump supporters and living in yee-haw states, let me explain this in a way you may understand: Let’s say your brother-in-law, who is also your brother, helped you paint and unclog your outhouse. Instead of giving him cash, you paid him with seven cases of Milwaukee’s Best and four packs of Beech-nut chewing tobacco. You may think that’s a big payment for unclogging the shitter, but let’s assume you don’t chew your food. Anyway, you need to report the pissy beer and chew as income and pay taxes on it. For this, I’m assuming your tax bill will be around 30 cents.

The Manhattan District Attorney’s office described it as a “weeping and audacious illegal payments scheme.” They said while the perks for Weisselberg were kept off the company’s books, they were still recorded in an internal spreadsheet. When you’re grifting, you gotta spread that shit out.

Keep in mind, if all of this is true, Weisselberg isn’t just the recipient of the company’s scheme, he would have been in charge of it as the company’s top executive. There is only one other person in the company in top of Weisselberg and his name is Donald J. Trump.

Trump had all sorts of things to say about this, calling it a “continuation of the witch hunt that started when I came down the escalator,” and accusing the district attorney and state’s attorneys of partisan politics. Authorities should have been looking into Trump after that time he came down the escalator talking about dating ten-year-olds.

Trump claims Weisselberg is innocent and is a good man. But what will Trump say if Weisselberg flips? Will he change his tune on his top executive the way he did on Michael Cohen?

With the company being charged, you can’t arrest a company. It’s not like they’re going to march Trump Tower off 5th Avenue and punish it by sending it to Staten Island. Usually when a corporation is convicted in a crime, no humans are held accountable…but the company may be broken up.

The big questions are: Will Weisselberg flip on Trump? Will Trump be charged? Will any other goons from the corporation be charged? Will Trump’s kids be charged? Who else has been paid in perks that weren’t reported as income? Will the walls to Trump Tower come tumbling down…or the walls in Mar-a-Lago, or Trump World Tower, or Bedminster, or Doral, or Turdberry?

According to reports, Weisselberg was often paid with cars and tuition for his grandchildren. Will his next payment be in the form of incarceration? This is what loyalty to Trump gets you.

Weisselberg swears he won’t flip on Trump which reminds me of something I recently watched on Netflix.

It’s a documentary about crime in New York City in the 70s and 80s. Rudy is in the documentary which is ironic since he’ll probably be in a future documentary on crime in New York City. In this documentary, the feds were sneaking into a mob-run restaurant to search and plant wiretaps, but there was a vicious dog inside the place. That dog was all like, “You’re not coming in here, assholes. This is my home. I guard this place. They pay me in pasta and meatballs. They love me and I’m loyal in return. You’ll have to kill me before you can enter this place. Oh, what you got? You got a taser, tough guy? Oh, yeah? You think a little tasing is going to make me turn against my people? I dare you to tase me…c’mon…tase me and see what happens. See what happens, motherfu….HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!…that hurt! What the hell was that? That was the taser? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me what a taser feels like? Fuck this place. You guys can do whatever you want. I’m going over to this table and I’m gonna crawl under it stay out of your way.”

And that’s what happened. That barking and growling dog who was baring his teeth got tased, turned around, and crawled under a table. The FBI did everything they wanted to in the place while the guard dog just watched. He probably even pointed out a few things. “Hey, did you check that second cabinet? Yeah, you’ll find some weird shit in there. By the way, do you know when I’ll be able to feel my nipples again?”

Weisselberg may be facing spending the rest of his life in prison if he remains loyal to Trump. I don’t know about his nipples, but that dog’s going to turn.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Weisselberg And Shitweasel

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After two years of being investigated by the state of New York and the Manhattan District Attorney, who decided to combine their forces to become an anti-Trump version of Super Friends, we have gotten to the point of a grand jury.

I don’t think there’s much question if Donald Trump will be indicted or not. There’s an old saying a grand jury will indict a ham sandwich is that’s what the district attorney wants…and this DA is hungry. The real question here is: Why did it take two years? And we’re just now getting to a grand jury which has a six month lease on hearing testimony? Also, this is a “special” grand jury so it’s an even bigger deal than your run-of-the-mill everyday grand juries.

What’s so special about a special grand jury? A regular grand jury decides if charges should be brought against a suspect. A “special” grandy jury is when it involves organized crime. And trust me on this, Donald Trump may not be very well organized, but he is a criminal. The weird thing about it taking over two years in New York is that Donald Trump spent his entire presidency soliciting corruption without even trying to hide it.

Donald Trump accepted foreign money into his hotels and resorts while he was president. Saudi Arabia and other nations would rent rooms at Trump hotels in Washington, New York, and Chicago while not actually staying in the hotels. They wanted to bribe Trump without the ickiness of actually staying in his nasty hotels. They would occasionally stick underlings in his hotels while the major diplomats would stay at better venues. It’s nice to sleep without things crawling on you.

Every Republican event over the past five years has been held at a Trump venue to curry favor with Donald Trump. Why? Because every Republican knows Donald Trump is corrupt. They don’t think it’s a big deal because, eh, they’re Republicans. Republicans don’t care about corruption. Today, “corrupt Republican” is redundant.

One of Donald Trump’s corrupt cabinet secretaries wanted to purchase a mattress from his hotel, like it was the only place in Washington to purchase a mattress. I seriously doubt the hotel specializes in selling mattresses, though I hear if you do buy a mattress from a Trump property, they come pre-bedbugged. Another corrupt Trump cabinet secretary (that’s redundant too), William Barr, threw a party at the Trump Hotel ballroom in D.C. Imagine having to be seen at a William Barr party so you can be considered one of the “cool kids.” At some point, every Republican in Washington had lunch or dinner at the Trump Hotel. It’s where Rudy, Lev, and Igor would plot their schemes while rubbing their hands together and saying, “Bwahahahahaha.” Republicans and foreign diplomats wanted to be seen giving business to Donald Trump, which in return, was giving us the businesses.

Donald Trump spent nearly every weekend at one of his golf resorts. This was to force the government to spend money at Trump properties. After he was placed into office by Russian goons, he raised the rates on his rooms which he rented to the Secret Service. On top of that, the Secret Service had to rent rooms while they weren’t even using them just in case “the president” (sic) might want to go to one of his resorts that weekend. Now that he’s made Mar-a-Lago his residence, he’s raised the rent on rooms for the Secret Service. He’s even forced the Secret Service to rent golf carts to follow him while he cheats at golf and steals balls from little boys. He literally charges the government to protect him. Before he left office, he extended protection for his corrupt kids. Not because he’s worried about their safety but because it’s more rooms to charge us at his resorts.

For the past five years, you have been paying for rooms at Trump resorts while never having the privelige of staying in one yourself and being covered head-to-toe in itchy bitey crawling bedbugs. Poor you.

He’s spending the summer at his New Jersey resort and his penthouse in Trump Tower. You know the Secret Service is spending a lot of money at both locations. When Trump became his party’s nominee in 2016, the Secret Service rented space at Trump Tower, where the campaign HQ was being run and hosting Russians to give dirt on Hillary Clinton. Eventually, the Secret Service moved out and camped in a van on the street. Why? Because Donald Trump kept jacking up the rent and the van didn’t have bedbugs. He did the same thing to his campaign and to the Republican National Committee. No, he didn’t pay the rent for his campaign. Donors did.

During his presidency, Mike Pence visited Dublin (in case you’re a Republican, that’s in Ireland). What was really Dublin was the corruption (see what I did there?). Instead of staying in a hotel in Dublin, where Donald Trump doesn’t own any property, Pence had to fly 180 miles out of his way, and back the next day, to stay at a shitty Trump resort. Fortunately for Pence, creepy icky things don’t crawl on him out of professional courtesy. They have more courtesy for ass-kissing Pence than MAGA terrorists who raided the Capitol with nooses while chanting, “Hang Mike Pence.”

Military flights were also moved around Europe so military personnel would be forced to stay at Trump resorts. The administration made excuses for it, but they didn’t hide it.

Trump’s corrupt ambassador to the United Kingdom and owner of the New York Jets, Woody Would-Not-Ever-Win-A-Super-Bowl Johnson, tried to get the British Open (that’s a golf tournament) to be held at a Trump golf resort in the UK.

Trump himself attempted to get the G7 Summit held at his shitty bed-bug-infested resort in Miami, which is like the Bates Motel, if it had the charm and fewer bedbugs. Though I do hear Boris Johnson is also pre-bedbugged.

Trump’s entire administration was corrupt. Jared Kushner’s properties received bailouts from Persian Gulf nations. Kellyanne Conway hawked Ivanka’s products on TV. Government websites advertised for Trump properties. His family and the Kushners sold access to the presidency. Donald Trump even pardoned Steve Bannon after he was convicted for a corrupt fundraising scheme over building Trump’s racist border wall. Trump’s pardons, when not being used for political pandering, were bribes. Goons like Roger Stone don’t get pardons because they’re nice people to whom the system has been unfair to.

Trump is being investigated in New York for his hush payments to porn starts and nude models. He’s being investigated for shitty schemes like paying Ivanka as a consultant while she was also an employee. He’s being investigated for a lot of shady tax shit that’s has left him with teeny tiny tax bills…when he had tax bills. You thought I was going to refer to something else of his that’s “teeny” and “tiny,” didn’t you? Sorry to disappoint you, but today we’re totally focused on his corrupt business dealings and won’t be mentioning his teeny tiny penis that a porn star says looks like teeny tiny Toad, the mushroom guy in Mario Kart. Grow up.

One major thing Donald Trump did was declare different values for the same property in loan applications, insurance forms, and in taxes. The value was always a lot lower in his taxes. The guy has also promoted his towers as having more floors than they actually have…like people can’t count. Even Toad, the mushroom guy in Mario Kart who looks like Trump’s tiny penis, can probably count floors.

He’s also being investigated for giving gifts, like tuition for kids and grandkids, which may have been in a replacement for salaries. Some of these payments went to the chief financial person at the Trump Organization, Toad, the mushroom guy in Mario Kart who likes like Trump’s tiny dick.

No, that’s not right. The payments went to Allen Weisselberg (It’s not “Weaselberg.” I checked), who is his chief financial dude. Trump claimed his two idiot kids, Don Jr. and Toad…I mean, Eric, were going to run his business. But the real man in charge is Weisselberg. Don Jr. and Eric couldn’t find each other’s butts if they had butt magnets. Now, Weasel…I mean, Weisselberg is being investigated as is his son, who also worked for Trump. Hey, the family that engaged in corruption together stays corrupt together.

Now, will Weisselberg flip on Trump? Will his son? Will Rudy Giuliani, who is his second attorney to be investigated for doing shady shit for Trump? The answers for each of these is, yes, yes, and yes. Wouldn’t you flip on Trump? These guys are going to flip on Trump faster than Toad, the mushroom guy who looks like Trump’s tiny penis, in Mario’s Kart.

Since we’re not talking about Trump’s tiny penis and focused exclusively on criminal charges (it’s not against the law to have a tiny dick), don’t forget, Donald Trump is being investigated for threatening government officials in Georgia to “find the votes,” and for starting an insurrection in Washington. His attorneys are claiming he has presidential immunity from conviction for starting terrorist attacks. Seriously. And now, there’s a new story that before he was president, he attempted to bribe a United States senator to not investigate the New England Patriots in Spygate, which is ironic since he claimed President Obama spied on his political campaign. How does he know it wasn’t the New England Patriots spying on his campaign? Or, how does he know it wasn’t Toad, the mushroom guy from Mario Kart who looks like Trump’s tiny penis?

Donald Trump will be indicted. With so many investigations, it’s bound to happen. But will he ever wear prison orange? God, I hope so. This nation deserves some justice, and every Trump supporter needs his or her balloon popped. I think everyone in this nation would rather think of Trump every time they see prison orange, than think of him every time they see mushrooms…you know because of Toad from Mario Kart who looks like Trump’s tiny penis.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Trump’s Symbol Of Hate

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Donald Trump’s campaign, along with a super PAC, are airing commercials attacking Joe Biden’s age (because he’s four years older than Trump) and his mental health because he stutters. It’s like these people don’t pay attention to their own bullshit because it’s their guy who suggested we all drink bleach, believes in windmill cancer and invisible airplanes, and asked about nuking hurricanes. It’s not just that they don’t pay attention, it’s that they don’t remember.

They don’t remember four days ago. Last weekend, Donald Trump tweeted out a video with an old white Trump supporter in a golf cart shouting “white power.” The president (sic) of the United States literally tweeted “white power.” We haven’t had such a loud endorsement of white supremacy from the White House since Woodrow Wilson had a screening in that building of “The Birth of a Nation,” a pro-KKK movie where most of the black characters are played by white actors in blackface. For Donald Trump and Woodrow Wilson, the White House is the WHITE HOUSE.

Donald Trump deleted the “white power” golf cart tweet. The WHITEY House issued a statement lying that Trump didn’t hear the “white power” in the video, despite it being shouted twice. But, if Donald Trump absorbed the video like he does intelligence reports, maybe he did only see and hear his name. He doesn’t hear that Putin placed a bounty on U.S. soldiers and he doesn’t hear “white power” when it’s shouted by old Florida fuckers in golf carts. Biden might be older but it’s Donald who needs a hearing aid. What? Bike tower? Night shower? Bite flower? Fight meower?

It was the Whitey House that issued a statement over the “white power” shout, but the Whitey House never condemned it. In fact, it thanked Mr. White Power golf cart fucker dude for his support. And Donald Trump? He never said anything about it. It’s not like he said, “What? O.M.G., I did not mean to tweet a video with “white power” in it. That’s a symbol of hate.” Instead, Donald Trump continued to foster and spread hate by tweeting more videos of dangerous black people. Lately, it’s been a daily thing for him. Donald Trump is a racist.

And the racist president reacted swiftly to another slogan as New York City is going to paint the words “Black Lives Matter” on 5th Avenue. Where on 5th Avenue? Right in front of…wait for it…Trump Tower. Oh goody. I wonder if Donald will react in a negative manner…oh there it is.

Donald Trump went off. Even your average racist would probably know better than to go off unhinged over something like this. He should be endorsing and celebrating it saying, “What a great idea, and thank you, New York City. Black lives do matter and I’m honored you would paint that slogan in front of my home.” Could he at least try to fake it? Nope. That didn’t happen.

Instead, Trump screamed out a tweet that said the slogan was “denigrating this luxury Avenue,” which is how he responded when the Jeffersons moved on up. He also said it would “antagonize” the New York Police Department. Then, he said “black lives matter” is a “symbol of hate.” Yeah…the guy who tweeted “white power” thinks the expression…the slogan…the words “black lives matter” is racist. Whaaaaaaaat?

Kaleigh McEnany, the Whitey House spokesgoon who claimed at her first press briefing she’d never lie to us, said Trump was attacking the organization, not the phrase. But, he didn’t say that in his tweet. He said “black lives matter,” on the street in front of his home is a “symbol of hate.” The guy hates the words “black lives matter” being painted on the streets in front of his home and the White House, but he wants Confederate monuments to remain in place. Sounds kinda racist.

Mayor Bill DeBlasio said he put the phrase in front of Trump Tower on purpose and “Obviously, we want the president to hear it because he’s never shown respect for those three words.” Trump proved that’s true by his quick response.

Mayor Bill also said, “When he hears Black lives matter, he presents a horrible negative reality of something that doesn’t exist, and he misses the underlying meaning that we’re saying we have to honor the role of African Americans in our history and our society.” That’s exactly true. And every mayor in every city in the world that has a Trump property, or any named after him, should paint “Black Lives Matter” in front of those properties. An international trolling of Trump would be almost as beautiful as the message. In fact, there are more Trump buildings in New York City. Troll away, Mr. Bill.

The reason we say “black lives matter” is because this country has a long history of black lives not mattering…or not mattering as much. Anyone who replies or uses “all lives matter” has a problem with you saying “black lives matter.” They have an issue with equality and they think if black lives matter, then maybe white lives won’t matter as much. That’s bullshit. Equality is not pie. More for someone else doesn’t mean less for you.

Saying “black lives matter” isn’t saying other lives don’t matter. It’s saying it’s time that black lives matter as well. White lives have always mattered and that’s why we don’t say that. We never needed to say “white lives matter” because it’s always been the case. We need to say “black lives matter.” Donald Trump and his racist goons of supporters don’t get that. They probably never will.

But Donald Trump is correct in that there are words on 5th Avenue that are a symbol of hate. It’s really just one word and that word is “Trump.” It’s on Trump Tower. And when people think of Donald Trump, they think of hate, especially his supporters because that’s why they’re in the cult.

People think of hate when they think of Donald Trump because Donald Trump is a racist. Donald Trump is a “symbol of hate.”

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Meanwhile, On Obama Avenue

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A petition that started off as a joke has now gained momentum and over 400,000 people have signed to rename a section of Fifth Avenue in front of Trump Tower to “Barack H. Obama Avenue.” As this would change the address for Trump’s penthouse, it’d also change it for his business, letterheads,  and each piece of mail delivered to Trump would have President Obama’s name on it. It would force Trump’s 2020 campaign to tell their Russian colluders to meet them at “Obama Avenue.”

Donald Trump has tried to rid the nation of Obamacare. He’s tried to change the name of Obamacare. He’s accused Obama of being born in Kenya and of wiretapping Trump Tower. He’s done everything he can to dismantle Obama’s legacy without once ever looking at policy details. He’s even accused Obama of messing up the air conditioning in the White House. Of course, he’s never given Obama credit for leaving him a great economy that even he hasn’t destroyed…yet.

There is a stumbling block to making Trump’s address 725 President Barack H. Obama Avenue. In New York City, the guidelines for renaming a street in Manhattan require the honoree be dead for at least two years, and the former president is very much alive. We don’t want to give Trump any ideas. But the rules allow exceptions and give the community board in Manhattan the discretion to disregard those guidelines in exceptional circumstances.

Keith Powers, the councilman who represents that address doesn’t like the idea. Not because he doesn’t want to disrespect Trump, but President Obama. He said, “I recognize and understand the great deal of support behind the petition to rename 5th Avenue in honor of President Obama. President Obama embodies the best of our political system and leaves a remarkable legacy. The classiest President of our time deserves better than being honored next to the home of Donald Trump. He has and will always deserve more than that.”

He has a point but it may be moot if renaming the street gives Trump a Twitter meltdown. Hell, it may be worth it if it makes Trump move out of New York City. New Yorkers do not like Donald Trump, probably because they have more experience with him than the rest of the country.

But it would be kind of an insult to President Obama. I’m also sure it’d be an insult to his daughters if we renamed Don Jr. and Eric to Sasha and Malia. If we changed Ivanka’s name to Bo, that’d be an insult to President Obama’s dog.

But if there’s a petition, where do I sign?

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As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Mueller Christmas

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Last night, CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin told Anderson Cooper, “Today’s the first day I actually thought Donald Trump might not finish his term in office.”

There has been a lot of speculation from people who dislike Trump that he wouldn’t finish his first term. You heard that before the inauguration. But, knowing just how difficult it is to remove an elected president, most legal analysts were skeptical. We’ve impeached two presidents and neither was removed from office.

Toobin laid out “preposterous” positions that Trump and his supporters now have to weave. They have to believe Trump lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen negotiated a deal with Russia for six months without telling Trump, that Trump and Roger Stone never discussed WikiLeaks, and that Don Jr. never talked to his father about the Trump Tower meeting with Kremlin-linked Russians offering dirt on Hillary Clinton.

The same people who will believe each of those positions also believed Trump when he said he wasn’t aware of any payoffs to porn stars before a tape recorded by Cohen revealed Trump was in the discussions on paying off porn stars.

Cohen has reached a plea deal with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and what he’s revealing is enough to make the leader of a nation want to run and hide in South America. Argentina has history with hiding Nazis with Russian troubles.

Cohen is revealing that he lied to Congress to protect Trump and be consistent with his message. He now says Trump directed his initial financial crimes.

We learned that Trump’s liaison Felix Sater invited Cohen to attend an economic forum with Vladimir Putin’s Press Secretary Dmitry Peskov to negotiate building a Trump Tower in Moscow during the 2016 presidential campaign. Cohen now refutes Trump’s often-repeated claim that he had nothing to do with Russia as he sought the White House. Shortly after Cohen’s court appearance, federal agents raided the office of Trump’s tax lawyer.

Perhaps juiciest of all is a report from Buzzfeed that Trump tried to bribe Putin by offering to gift him the $50 million penthouse in the proposed Trump Tower. It is not normal for a presidential candidate to conduct business deals with a hostile government. It’s even more bizarre for a candidate to attempt to bribe a foreign leader. Where is the president’s loyalty if he’s in a urine-soaked bed with Vladimir Putin?

We have learned that denial to Trump means innocence and facts don’t matter. In regards to meddling in our election, he defended Putin by citing his denial. He defended Roy Moore over accusations of pedophilia by pointing at his denial. He’s defended Mohammad Bin Salman over murdering a journalist by using his denial. When Trump attacked Democrats who sexually harassed women, Sarah Huckabee Sanders defended the hypocrisy by championing Trump’s denial.

Trump spent the last two years denying he had any business relationship with Russia. On Thursday, he said the man who was his personal attorney, fixer, and vice president of his company was a liar, which is what he also called him before he produced the Stormy recordings. Trump went on to say he didn’t have any business dealings with Russia, but it wouldn’t have been illegal if he did. This morning, he’s admitting he did but it’s “cool.”

It’s not cool. We know Trump’s denials are always empty, and they turn into lies. Trump lied for over two years about having business with Russia. He lied every time he shouted and tweeted “no collusion.”

I’m not totally convinced that Trump won’t finish his term, but I do wish him a very Mueller Christmas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Cooking With Kellyanne

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Malfunctioning Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway said she saw reports of the government being able to spy on you through your microwave.

No, Kellyanne. That was a political cartoon I drew last week.

When Trump tweeted that Obama had wiretapped him, he specifically mentioned “Obama.” He referred to the former president as “sick.” Over the weekend and today his staff was trying to twist Trump’s tweet, that he meant the Obama administration, or the government.

They’re trying to move the goalposts. They’re ignoring the part of the tweets where Trump mentioned Obama personally having Trump Tower bugged. Never mind the fact that Trump tweeted these allegations three times. They’re even trying to change the definition of “wiretapping.”

That’s what’s wrong with these people. They tell lies. They get busted. Instead of apologizing or correcting themselves, they invent more bullshit until they finally get to the point where they act like it wasn’t ever said at all.

Personally I think Kellyanne’s brain has been overcooked.

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Madly Manly Men

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Yes. Donald Trump might be insane. I’m just kidding. There’s no “might” about it.

Watching his rants is reminiscent of Charlie Sheen’s very public meltdown from a few years ago. The only difference is that Sheen might have been a bit more coherent and he wasn’t sober.

Watching Trump meltdown in fits of rage, making up crowd sizes, election results, terrorists attacks, and accusing Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower, would be mere amusement like Sheen’s, except for the fact he’s taking us down with him.

I’m not sure any amount of “tiger blood” will ever have Trump “winning.”

I actually like Two And A Half Men. It amuses me when I want to turn off politics and not think about anything. Sure, it’s not great art but it’s also not Two Broke Girls.

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Tapped Wire Or Fried Wires?

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Donald Trump has lost his mind. This is not a new development.

Before he ran for president he was behind the birther campaign accusing President Obama of being born in Kenya. He swore he’d reveal the truth and claimed he hired investigators that would expose all. Years later near the end of the presidential campaign he finally said “Obama was born in the United States. Next topic please.”

During the campaign he said he saw thousands of Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 9/11. There’s no evidence this ever happened but he clung to it until it silently faded away.

He also accused Ted Cruz’s father of being a part of the conspiracy to assassinate President Kennedy. No proof of this ever materialized either and it once again silently faded away.

Trump has believed in all sorts of crazy things like China being behind the “global warming conspiracy,” Scalia being murdered, to Obama and Hillary wanting to take everyone’s guns.

Now he believes that during the campaign Obama personally ordered Trump Towers to be bugged.

Trump is currently fighting off potential investigations that his campaign coordinated with Putin’s Russian government to win the election. His first attempts at distraction was to raise the fact that several Democrats met with Russian officials.

He’s either a mad genius to use that as a distraction or he’s too stupid to understand the issue he’s actually embroiled in. There’s nothing wrong with government officials meeting with officials from foreign governments, especially out in the open. What’s not cool is meeting with them in secret during a campaign and lying to Congress about it.

Trump could have had a relatively quiet weekend hitting golf balls in Florida at his Mar-a-Lago resort and send the bill to taxpayers. Instead he engaged in a Twitter storm.

He started Friday by tweeting “I hereby demand a second investigation, after Schumer, of Pelosi for her close ties to Russia, and lying about it.” It took him three tweets, deleting the first two, to work out the spelling of “hereby.” Apparently there was not a spell checker “near by” or “nearby.”

Come Saturday morning he was bombing social media once again tweeting “Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!” That would not be McCarthyism. McCarthyism is more like telling the public that the press are the enemy of the American people.

He wasn’t done. He followed that tweet with “Is it legal for a sitting President to be “wire tapping” a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW!”

And then “I’d bet a good lawyer could make a great case out of the fact that President Obama was tapping my phones in October, just prior to Election!”

Of course Trump hasn’t provided any proof and if history is any indication he never will.

What could set Trump off like this? It couldn’t be from a national security briefing because that would show the president of the United States can’t be trusted with classified information. No. It’s from a conservative radio host throwing the conspiracy out there, and then having it followed up by Breitbart, the scary alt-right racist publication formerly headed by his puppeteer Steve Bannon.

The really stupid thing in all this is that Trump’s people will believe him. They already believe Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim out to take their guns. Why won’t they believe this? They, like #45, do not need evidence to believe whatever the hell they want to believe.

But hey, let’s keep our eyes on that lying fake news media. Right? Though the big carrot may not need any help taking himself down.

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