Trump Taxes

Billionaires In Space

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When you see bored billionaires spending their money to go into space or say they didn’t know taxes were supposed to be paid on fringe benefits like cars, apartments, and tuition, you know we need to raise taxes on these rich-ass bastards.

American billionaires Jeff Bezos, South African/Canadian/American (make up your mind) billionaire Elon Musk, British rich bastard Richard Branson, and Russian/Israeli miser Yuri Milner are all fucking around with space. I predict, like their fellow rich alum Thurston Howell III, one of these rich fuckos is going to be end up stranded on an island.

When you are spending $100 million to build a giant laser to shoot silicon microchips into space to see if an alien will catch one of them, you may have too much money on your hands. That’s what Yuri Milner is up to. This isn’t as much scientific research as it is an expensive hobby. What’s he going to do next? Shoot up small dogs to see if they can bark in space? Milner is one of the poorest billionaires in this race with his wealth estimated somewhere between $3-$4 billion.

Elon Musk’s company, SpaceX, plans to colonize Mars, but before they get that on, he’s going to use his craft, Starship (good job with the naming, guys) to fly into space, open a door, and scoop up space litter, which is probably less hazardous than scooping kitty litter. Each launch of Starship will cost around $2 million. Elon is worth around $150 billion.

Jeff Bezos, who is worth about $187 billion, isn’t just entering the space tourism industry. He’s planning to shoot his own ass into space. Bezos is planning to launch on July 20 on board the New Shepard, the rocket ship made by his space company, Blue Origin. Bezos auctioned off a seat as well, with the price at $28 million. This trip is expected to last 11 minutes while Amazon can’t deliver new kitty litter within 11 days (HURRY!!!). You can probably go to an arcade and find one of those little rocket ship-shaped rides for toddlers that can shake your ass for 11 minutes for about 50 cents.

Richard Branson is poor compared to Bezos and Musk, but he’s about to beat all of them into space. He’s scheduled to lift off on board the VSS Unity, his ship built by his space tourism company, Virgin Galactic. One person has already been killed by Branson’s space hobby.

Then you have Donald Trump, the poorest of these billionaires, and unfortunately, isn’t being shot off to another planet. Trump claims he’s worth $10 billion but since everything that comes out of his mouth is like a litter box after your cat ate Indian food, he’s lying. Trump’s worth is probably closer to $2 billion. In the past, Trump has told us his taxes are too complicated for us to understand, yet during a recent rally, he displayed he doesn’t understand taxes. After his corporation and chief financial officer were charged for tax crimes, he said, “They go after good, hard-working people for not paying taxes on a company car. You didn’t pay tax on the car or a company apartment. You used an apartment because you need an apartment because you have to travel too far where your house is. You didn’t pay tax. Or education for your grandchildren. I don’t even know. Do you have to? Does anybody know the answer to that stuff?”

Yes, Tiny. You’re supposed to pay taxes on gifts. Pretty much everybody knows the answer “to this stuff.” The guy who has been hiding his tax returns for years and told us he knows taxes better than anyone, is asking if people have to pay taxes on expensive items. He also admitted to the crime. Oops. Maybe Donald Trump is trying to land in court before his billionaire compadres take off for space.

Trump is trying to get his poor, food-stamp-spending, white nationalist cult upset that rich people are being forced to pay taxes. And it’ll probably work. I mean, these fuckers are already upset over a single black mother collecting $200 a month to feed her baby, and aren’t even aware that Boeing receives over $13 billion a year in taxpayer subsidies.

I’m a big fan of raising taxes on the rich, and I’m a bigger fan of going after them for when they avoid paying taxes.

Donald Trump only paid $700 in taxes for some years while also engaging in shady tax schemes. Last year, Jeff Bezos tax rate was 0.98 percent. His company, Amazon, didn’t pay any taxes.

I propose we raise taxes on all these billionaires and rub their faces in used kitty litter.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Gopher His Balls

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When Donald Trump was running for president in 2016, he promised he would release his taxes returns to the public. He repeated the promise over and over while not delivering on it. After he won the election, he said screw it and that nobody could see them, nobody had the right, and claimed the public was OK with it because they had elected him without seeing them in the first place, ignoring that the majority of voters did not vote for him.

One of Trump’s excuses for not showing his taxes was that he was under audit. He was always under audit and lied that you can’t show your taxes to the public during an audit…despite the fact other presidents and candidates have done that.

Over time, some of his taxes leaked here and there and there are mysteries. Mysteries like, how did someone get so rich while losing so much money? How many porn stars has he paid off? Are hair transplants a tax-deductible expense? How can you pay someone as a consultant while they’re also an employee and your daughter? And how can you claim in tax filings that a property has lost money while claiming its value has increased in loan applications? It boggles the mind.

What else boggles the mind is why so many were OK with Donald Trump hiding his income and the sources. Trump supporters loved to brag Donald Trump is a billionaire, almost as much Trump loved to make that brag. They argued him being rich was good for all of us because he’d use his business smarts in the interest of the country and soon, we’ll all be rich. Yay.

Yeah, that didn’t happen. Most poor white people don’t think they’re poor. They think they’re rich but the money just hasn’t come in yet. And as it turns out, Trump’s business smarts is all in grifting.

The thing is, maybe it’s important to understand how someone obtained their wealth. I mean, do you want a guy in office who got his wealth through fraud? Why don’t we just vote for mobsters? Or, do you think it’s an achievement when someone inherits wealth? As it turns out, Donald Trump did both. And when it came to debt, Donald Trump does understand personal and business debt. Government debt, not so much. Also, he didn’t care. His first big achievement was driving the deficit up to give himself a huge tax cut.

But when someone is in office and they’re still being paid from other sources, don’t you want to see what those sources are? Don’t you want to see who he owes money to? Don’t you want to know why Putin owns him? Don’t you want to understand that him not taking a salary while charging you for his golf outings is all a shell game? No? Because you’re a cult? OK, then.

I saw a post yesterday by someone highly upset the Supreme Court would dare hand Trump’s tax returns over to prosecutors. That’s some real sycophancy right there. You would have thought the government had audited Jesus.

Donald Trump has spent years bragging about his tax returns…and he’s spent years hiding them. He’s also been fighting New York prosecutors over access to them. Yesterday, the Supreme Court, with three Trump appointees on the bench (two stolen, one borrowed) allowed the Manhattan District Attorney to have access to Trump’s taxes.

Now, we’re going to find out about all those deductions for income losses while claiming property value has risen. We’re going to find out why he paid his daughter as an adviser while she was also an employee. We’re going to find out if he should be audited for a $72 million deduction he claimed. We’re going to find out if he should only have paid $750.00 in a tax year. We should find out how many porn stars he paid off.

Will we see these taxes? Yes, we will. No, we’re not supposed to and they probably won’t be seen from the DA’s office until they use it as evidence in a trial. But if Congress gets their hands on them, they’ll be leaked faster than Trump on a porn star. And it won’t even be the Democrats leaking the taxes. It’ll be Republicans.

The Republican Party is openly kissing Donald Trump’s ass while they secretly want him to go away. When they get his taxes, they’ll be leaked. Republicans have a more vested interest in destroying Donald Trump now than Democrats do.

Donald Trump is corrupt and he’s a cheater. This is a man who stole from charity and once swiped a child’s golf ball after the kid made a better shot than he did. Donald Trump is immoral without any principles. Hopefully, this is the beginning for Donald Trump to finally be held accountable.

Donald Trump wants four more years in the White House. I want at least four years for him in prison.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have NINE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Paid More Than Trump

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Raise your hand if you paid more in taxes than Donald Trump. Everybody?

The New York Times has published an investigation that finally gives us a clear look at Donald Trump’s taxes.

The weirdest thing about Donald Trump is that he’s president without disclosing his taxes or selling off his businesses. Basically, we have to trust the most dishonest grifting grifter that he’s not influenced by conflicts of interest. As it turns out, he is.

Donald Trump said he wouldn’t open up any new businesses overseas, but he’s still collecting money from foreign companies and governments. Lobbyists, diplomats, and others with special interests stay at his hotels and join his shitty golf resorts.

Donald Trump says he’s a great businessman…who loses money every year. Every year. He claims he’s worth $10 billion but looking at what the Times presents, he’s not even close.

The reveal doesn’t show any debt to Russia, but it shows massive massive on top of massive loans to…we don’t know.

His taxes shows a lot of deductions, like trips on his private plane, $75,000 haircuts, and payments to consultants. One of those consultants who received hundreds of thousands of dollars is…wait for it…Ivanka. Ivanka Trump was an employee of the Trump Organization yet she was paid as a contractor for consulting work for the Trump Organization. I mean…how does that work? What is her actual job at the Trump Organization? I guess it excludes consulting as she can contract that to the Trump Organization.

Looking at his taxes over the past 15 years, he usually doesn’t pay and when he has, the most has been $750. How much did you pay last year? Can you vote for Donald Trump knowing you paid more in taxes than he did? Donald Trump has bragged that not paying taxes makes him smart. What does that make you?

Other juicy details of the report is that Donald Trump pays more taxes in places like the Philippines and Turkey than he does in the United States. Think about this: When he brags about increasing money for our military, it’s not any of his money going towards that. It’s yours.

When he brags about donating his salary back to the government, that’s your money paying that salary, not his. When he signs a relief bill so you can pay your rent during the pandemic, and then puts his stupid name on the check, that’s your money…not his. Your taxes paid for that. His did not.

And right now, this fat cat who doesn’t pay any taxes but grifts off yours, doesn’t want to give you another stimulus and is trying to take away your healthcare.

And Donald Trump really is under audit. The issue is a $72 million refund he received from the government. You know who paid Donald Trump that refund? You did. Donald Trump played a shell game with his taxes, removed himself from his Atlantic City casinos, got a refund for it, but still has a stake in the new company which is paying him. That is where he may have broken the law (there are other parts where he may have also). Donald Trump is facing a fine that may be over $100 million. This billionaire probably doesn’t have it.

Also, those massive loans are coming due over the next few years. If he’s in White House at that time, what will he do to pay off those loans? Will banks foreclose on a president? That’s a huge conflict of interest.

People with huge debt can’t get a security clearance. Donald Trump could not get a security clearance if he wasn’t president. So, why should we trust him to be president?

When you read this story, the only three things (out of 500 businesses) that have made money for Trump are: Commercial space in Trump Tower, selling the rights to put his name on buildings he doesn’t own, and The Apprentice. And he doesn’t have one of those anymore (other than TV royalties). Everything else, from his golf resorts to his hotels, are all losing money. It’s probably why he wants to host summits and golf tournaments at them. It’s probably why he wants to ignore science to reopen the nation, as his businesses are losing millions. It’s why he charges the government every time he goes to one of his resorts, which is why he goes to his resorts every chance he gets.

Donald Trump has never been what he bills himself as. He’s not a genius. He’s not a great negotiator. He’s not a great dealmaker. He’s not honest. He’s not a playboy. He’s not a great businessman. And he’s not a billionaire.

The main selling point for Trump to the rubes is that he’s a billionaire and a great businessman. His supporters believe he’ll do for the nation, and for them, what he’s done for himself. But all Donald Trump has ever done has been to take care of himself. Even before he was president, he was riding on the backs of taxpayers to take care of himself. He was profiting off the American taxpayer for decades. Now, he’s in control of the government to support his businesses.

The rubes and hillbillies are going to have to believe this is all a lie. Rick Santorum was doing just that this morning on CNN. He’s a great businessman who loses billions and gets $75, 000 haircuts and pays consulting fees to his daughter who’s on his staff. Yeah…what a selling point.

Vladimir Putin is one of the richest men in the world and he’s never run a business. Saddam Hussein was one of the richest men in the world without ever running a business. What will dictator wannabe Trump do if he gets a second term? How much more will he grift off the American taxpayer? Will we receive bills for his $75,000 haircuts?

The haircuts also prove Donald Trump isn’t as smart as he claims. $75,000 for hair that looks like that? And we paid for that?

With Donald Trump, we’re not getting our money’s worth.

Donald Trump is claiming the Times story is “fake news.” His campaign, White House, and stupid kids are yelling for the Times to release the documents (which they say they can’t because it’ll reveal the sources who provided them). But there’s another way Donald Trump can clear this up.

He can release his taxes.

Now raise your hands if you’re OK with paying more taxes than Donald Trump. Nobody?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Cognitive Trump

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When Donald Trump revealed he took a cognitive test, his manner of describing it made you think he needs to take a cognitive test.

Donald Trump told Sean Hannity, “I actually took one when I — very recently, when I — when I was (this is where he seems to stop himself before revealing why he was rushed on a sudden unscheduled trip to the Walter Reed hospital last November) — the radical left were saying, is he all there? Is he all there? And I proved I was all there, because I got — I aced it. I aced the test.”

Then he said Joe Biden should take the same test while also boasting about how good he was at “acing” the test. He said, “He should take the same exact test, a very standard test. I took it at Walter Reed Medical Center in front of doctors, And they were very surprised. They said, that’s an unbelievable thing. Rarely does anybody do what you just did. But he should take that same test.”

Rarely does anybody reveal the shit they’re saying freaked people out enough to the point they had him take a cognitive test.

Here’s the thing folks, nobody takes a cognitive test as a leisurely activity. I mean, you could probably find some site on the internet and take one for shits and giggles like you can with a citizenship test. But when most people take a cognitive test, it’s because there are concerns you should take a cognitive test. It’s because you appear non-cognitive like you went into a closet and pooped in all the shoes.

For example, nobody ever brought up the subject of a cognitive test during the Obama administration. President Barack Obama never boasted about passing a cognitive test.

And maybe you do pass the cognitive test. If you are able to successfully identify a photo of a camel, state the date and time, can draw a clock with the time 10 past 11, and can count down from 100 by sevens, they should probably let you continue to drive a car, but because there was so much concern over your cognitive abilities, you probably should not have access to the nuclear codes.

And maybe this cognitive thing with Trump proves he’s not racist and he honestly couldn’t get past his own name being shouted in a video to realize fuckers in it were also shouting “white power” before he retweeted it.

But how bad is the new normal where the president (sic) is bragging about passing a cognitive test and boast that he was being praised for it like he’s a toddler? What’s next? Is he going to brag about having the cognitive ability to wipe his own butt? That’s plausible because recently, he displayed he still has the ability to lift a glass with one hand and his audience cheered him for it. What a big boy you are. What a low bar we’ve set.

And what’s the deal with bragging about taking a cognitive test, demanding your political opponent take one as well, then not releasing the results of your cognitive test? It’s like that time he screamed about President Obama’s school records being sealed while not releasing his own school records. This fucker won’t even release his SAT score and he hired a nerd to take that for him. What’s next? Is he going to demand Joe Biden to release his tax returns (he actually already has)? It’s not like Joe Biden is fighting in the Supreme Court to keep his taxes concealed.

Finally, the other thing is, if Donald Trump says he passed a cognitive test, that means he failed it. The man is a liar and basically, everything he says turns out to be untrue and he turns to be everything he accuses others of being. Donald Trump is a fucking moron.

Passing a cognitive test? What Donald Trump doesn’t get is that he shouldn’t have had to take one. When is he going to brag about passing an STD test after cheating on his wife? And what flavor lollipop did the doctor give him after passing the test?

Let me remind you why there is a Trump baby balloon. Because Donald Trump is a huge, gassy baby.

The truth of the matter is, we should be freaking terrified and scared shitless to the point we don’t sleep because this idiot who suggested drinking bleach to kill a virus is the president (sic) of the United States…and he has the nuclear codes!

If you’re not, you should probably take a cognitive test.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Florida Buttman

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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Is Donald Trump moving his permanent residence to Florida because of taxes, criminal investigations, or because New York hurt his feelings? Maybe a combination of all three. There are also the logistics of a former president living in a penthouse in Manhattan versus several acres of a golf resort.

If Trump wants to move where people actually like him, then he should consider Alabama and West Virginia. Of course, they like him now. Maybe after he moves in they’ll learn what New Yorkers already know. Donald Trump is a con artist and an asshole. You don’t want him.

New Yorkers are saying “good riddance” to Trump. And for Florida, it’s not like he’s bringing industry and jobs to your state. He’s just bringing his ass.

Maybe the one thing Trump doesn’t understand and no one has explained to him yet is that Florida and New York are in the same country. Extradition happens between states. So, if Trump is found guilty of crimes in New York, he will be arrested in Florida and shipped back north.

But for all the men who are competing to be “Florida Man,” they just got some very BIG competition.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Brains Don’t Work On The Girl

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The Trump kids, much like their father, are seriously out of their element when it comes to politics and well…anything that requires comprehension, consistency, and honesty. Donald Trump’s full-grown trust-fund babies are at their best when they ignore what’s actually going on, like when Jr. and Eric tweeted denials that their father was booed at a UFC event in New York over the weekend. It’s like that episode of The Simpsons, when a crowd boos Mr. Burns. His lackey, Mr. Smithers, tells his boss they’re not saying “boo.” They’re saying “Boo-urns.”

Last week, Donald Trump Jr., with a straight face, went on Hannity and said, “I wish my name was Hunter Biden. I could go abroad, make millions off of my father’s presidency. I’d be a really rich guy! It would be incredible!” If Sean Hannity was an actual journalist, he would have reminded Donald Trump Jr. that his name is Donald Trump Jr. DJTJ was on Hannity to promote his new book, “Triggered,” which, ironically, nobody would be interested in publishing or reading if his name wasn’t Donald Trump Jr.

On October 15, Eric Trump made the claim, “When my father became commander-in-chief of this country, we got out of all international business.” There are literally buildings in other countries with the Trump name on them. In fact, every time the Trump kids go on an overseas business deal, which they still do, taxpayers have to pay a bill for their protection.

Jared, who is in charge of Trump’s impeachment defense (good luck) and argues his father-in-law hasn’t “done anything wrong,” responded to Joe Biden’s criticism of him and Ivanka having jobs in the White House. Jared said, “He’s entitled to his opinion, but a lot of the work that the President’s had me doing over the last three years has actually been cleaning up the messes that Vice President Biden left behind.” It’s funny because Jared has no idea what he’s doing and someday in the future, someone’s going to be cleaning up the messes he left behind.

Then there’s Daddy’s princess, Ivanka. She decided to defend her father from the impeachment inquiry by comparing him to Jefferson…No, not George but Thomas. She took an eloquent quote from the third president and tweeted, “‘…surrounded by enemies and spies catching and perverting every word that falls from my lips or flows from my pen, and inventing where facts fail them.’ -Thomas Jefferson’s reflections on Washington, D.C. in a letter to his daughter Martha.
Some things never change, dad!”

There are several takes you can get from them. Jefferson is on the nickel and the closest honor Trump has to that is a baby balloon of him floating around the United Kingdom. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and Trump tweets out photoshopped pics of him placing medals on dogs. The best take from this is that Jefferson was responding to accusations he fathered a child with a slave…which he was guilty of at least six times. I don’t think the area of who Trump has slept with, or wants to sleep with, is one Ivanka should wade into. Ivanka should try to find a quote from someone defending themselves from fraudulent charges, like OJ.

Here’s the thing, pretend princess, when you Google a quote, don’t stop reading before you find the context. Perhaps, if you spent more time comprehending what you’re supposed to be doing as a “senior adviser” to the president instead of your public-image campaign of presenting yourself as the rational Trump with humility, you may accidentally stumble upon a clue.

These are just more examples of rich white people crying about how they’re constantly persecuted and life is so hard and unfair for them. If only the world would stop being mean to trust-fund babies.

But if you’re seeking a Jefferson quote, Sweatshop Barbie, I got one for you. Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Towards acquiring the confidence of the people the very first measure is to satisfy them of his disinterestedness, & that he is directing their affairs with a single eye to their good, & not to build up fortunes for himself & family: & especially that the officers appointed to transact their business, are appointed because they are the fittest men, not because they are his relations. So prone are they to suspicion that where a President appoints a relation of his own, however worthy, they will believe that favor, & not merit, was the motive.”

I know it’s kinda long so I’ll directly give you the point. Nepotism is bad. Still don’t understand it? You and your idiot husband only have positions in the White House because the president is your father. If you honestly believe you’re there because of your qualifications, then you are dumber than I could ever make you out to be.

But, since you’re seeking a Jefferson quote that fits your situation, I’ll provide another for you: “If I paid you to think, you could cash your check at the penny arcade.” That’s from George.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Roll Out The Barrel

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Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I felt a little bit chunky on Friday. It was one of those spoke-too-soon things.

Thursday, I sent CNN eight ideas. The editor replied asking if he could make the decision Friday morning because all the cartoons were too good and I was “on fire.” I had promised Amanda I was going to her house on Friday but figured I’d have everything done early in the day. So, no problem with selecting the cartoon on Friday morning. Where I spoke too soon was in promoting the upcoming cartoon and newsletter on Twitter and Facebook, as I tweeted out his “on fire” comment.

Friday morning came and my editor threw out a couple more subjects which meant the hard part wasn’t over yet. I had to keep thinking of ideas. The hard part is always over when all that’s left to do is to draw the cartoon. Thinking is hard.

The editor threw out a couple subjects at me that I wasn’t excited about. I still worked on them and I even took the project with me to Amanda’s, which was in Woodbridge (about 30 miles north of my home). Finally, the last idea I sent seemed to click. Amanda said it was her favorite of all the cartoons. In fact, it was a comment she made that made it click in my head. And then…the editor wanted to go back to one of the ideas I had sent the day before. In fact, after selecting one, we changed our minds again and selected another, which is the one you see here.

I sent about fifteen rough sketches by the time I was through. I’ve drawn three of those and I’m probably going to do one more tonight (and maybe another next week). I liked several of the ideas, and they were on different subjects.

My favorite cartoon from the batch was the monopoly/shoe cartoon (and yeah, it’s weird). The Trump Jr cartoon I drew on Saturday was the favorite for a couple other people who had seen each rough, though I wasn’t too sure about it. My second favorite, and the one I thought CNN would want was on Trump Jr AND the royal baby. But, I had already done something on the royal baby for my syndication so I felt doing that cartoon for them would have been a little repetitive, but it would have worked for CNN.

Friday was a hard day but sometimes you have to work hard, even with a cushy job like drawing cartoons. Sometimes, the one making it harder for you is yourself. I honestly believe this thing I’m doing with CNN is one of the best freelance gigs going for cartoonists today. The people I’m working with have been great and I’m not just writing that because they might read this. They really have been wonderful, professional, and easy to work with. I should also make that clear since I have to ask them to accommodate my hours again two weeks from now because I have another trip out of town.

And, sorry. I didn’t feel like writing about Trump’s fraud, taxes, lies, or corruption again. I’ve already done that more than once the previous week. You can go back and read them if that’s what you’re hungry for today.

Creative Note Thingy: I’m thinking about posting all the roughs on my Instagram page so people will have an incentive to visit and follow me there. Hint, hint.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

The Biggest Shoeser

cjones05122019

Negotiating with China for a better trade agreement is a good thing. In fact, Democrats may be more supportive of the trade war than free-market Republicans. What’s not good is engaging in a trade war as there’s rarely a winner. What’s even worse is that these negotiations are being led by Donald Trump.

While Donald Trump promotes himself as a great negotiator, those of us who are not cultist sycophants know he’s not. China also knows he’s not a great negotiator. China knows that Donald Trump doesn’t know that American consumers pay for the tariffs he’s increased. China knows that 90% of the stuff you own was made in China. Despite those MAGA hats being made in China…and everything else with Trump’s name on it, Donald Trump doesn’t seem to know this. If you shop at Wal-Mart, you’re paying these tariffs, even if you voted for Donald Trump. The price for your “Juicy” sweatpants just got a lot juicier.

Before the government shutdown, Democrats put an offer on the table for Trump’s border wall. He wanted more so he shut the government down. It was his way of negotiating. When the pressure got too much for him, he caved and walked away with…wait for it…nothing. A great negotiator or even a mediocre hobbyist negotiator never walks away with less than he was originally offered, less enough, NOTHING.

When you play poker, you bluff. A bluff is a lie. Poker is a game where lying is allowed. Now, if you bluff on every hand, people stop believing you and you start losing. It may not work that way with a cult, but it works that way in business. Trump used to purchase stocks of a company, make a lot of noise about purchasing more and taking over the company, then after the stock would increase because of his noise, he’d quietly sell. He was lying. Just like in poker, people stopped believing him and the strategy stopped working. That was Donald Trump being a “great businessman.”

Donald Trump lost a billion dollars over a decade. He was continuously bailed out by his daddy. For eight of those ten years, he didn’t pay taxes. The guy lost a billion dollars, took money from his dad, bankrupted casinos, but since he didn’t pay taxes for most of those years, that was him being a “great businessman.”

While losing a billion dollars, Trump published a ghost-written book he’s probably never read called “The Art of the Deal.” Many years later, he hosted The Apprentice, a reality TV show. The man has spent decades cultivating an image of a billionaire genius. He even created a fake university to teach people to be billionaire geniuses just like him, which of course was a scam.

Despite playing Hawkeye on M.A.S.H., Alan Alda is not a great surgeon or a surgeon period. You do not want Alan Alda cutting you open. You don’t want Donald Trump cutting you open either, but sycophants gave him the knife. He played a great businessman on TV, but just like Alan Alda isn’t a surgeon, Trump is not a great businessman.

You can’t believe everything you see on TV. But, you see Trump playing a dumbass, racist, sexist, bully, and narcissist on TV on a daily basis. That, you can believe.

In Monopoly of life, Donald Trump is the shoe, but his sycophants think he’s the race car. They’re just ignoring the smell.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Trumpy Tax Tragedy

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If you still believe Donald Trump is a genius, great businessman, great negotiator, and built a great company, you’re in a cult. ‬

The New York Times published a story this week in great detail about how Trump spent the 1980s losing over a billion dollars. According to the IRS, Donald Trump lost more money during this time than any other American. In fact, his losses accounted for one percent of all loses declared by American tax filers. Donald Trump shouldn’t have hosted The Apprentice and instead should have starred in the Biggest Loser.

Trump is a loser. The one positive a loser like Trump can take from losing a billion dollars is that he didn’t pay taxes for eight of those ten years.

If you’re a Trump sycophant, don’t worry. Trump had an explanation. He meant to do that. He explained in a Tweet that it was for “tax purposes” and was a “sport” among real estate developers. He then called the story “fake news.” So, did he lose all that money for tax purposes like he claimed or was the Times lying? It’s hard to keep his defenses straight. Also, if he’s only “showing” losses, does that mean he committed tax fraud?

There are two other interesting points in this story. All this billion dollar losing occurred while he was promoting himself as a huge success story, master of the universe, and educator on being a miser by publishing his book “Art of the Deal.” The real art of the deal was borrowing money from daddy while you’re bankrupting casinos.

The other highlight that piqued interests is that in 1989, he reported $52.9 million in interest income. Here’s why that’s interesting: The three years before this, he reported $460,566, then $5.5 million, then $11.8 million in interest. So, 52 after 11 is a huge jump in interest income (if you’re a Republican, that’s a difference of 41). So, where’d that interest come from? Public findings from New Jersey casino regulators show no evidence that he owned anything capable of generating that much interest. Nor is there any such evidence in a 1990 report, which was prepared by accountants he hired at his bankers’ request. So, where did that $52.9 million come from? Daddy? Russians? People paying him not to tell anyone they had sex?

Of course, if Trump really wants to prove this is all “fake news” and he doesn’t have anything to hide, he would release his taxes. But, he won’t do that because it’s not “fake news” and he has a LOT Of skeevy shady shit to hide.

Of course, Trump wants to change the laws that allow a free press to publish stories such as these. What he doesn’t want to change are the laws that enable people to shoot up schools.

There was another school shooting this week, this time at STEM School Highlands Ranch in Colorado. Eight students were injured with Kendrick Castillo dying after lunging at one of the two shooters. Kendrick Castillo died saving lives three days before the end of the school year.

Donald Trump tweeted out condolences. Then, he went to one of his hate rallies in Panama City, Florida and laughed at a supporter’s suggestion that we start shooting immigrants at the border. Trump said, “Only in the Panhandle could you get away with saying something like that.” You can also get away with saying something like that at a Donald Trump rally. Other fun things you can get away with at a Trump rally are, heiling, goose-stepping, wearing a white sheet, waving a Swastika, punching black people, and shouting obscenities at Jim Acosta.

Donald Trump is not a genius, or a great businessman, or a great negotiator, and as evidenced from his most recent hate rally, he’s not even a decent human being. And, if you’re still a Trump supporter, neither are you.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Transparent President?

cjones05102019

For Donald Trump, claiming he’s the “most transparent president ever,” would be like saying you’re honest while stealing from a charity.

It’d be like saying you’re a great businessman and writing a book called “Art of the Deal” during a decade of losing over a billion dollars.

It’d be like saying, “I’m the least racist person ever” while building a racist vanity project to keep out brown people.”

It’d be like attacking a Congresswoman for antisemitism after you’ve retweeted Nazis.

It’d be like complaining about undocumented workers after you’ve hired undocumented workers.

It’d be like attacking Democrats for sexual scandals after you’ve paid women to keep quiet about your diddling them.

It’d be like complaining about antisemitism after you’ve called for a ban on Muslims, called someone “Pocahontas,” accused Black Lives Matter of being thugs, referred to nations where brown people come from as “shithole countries,” called Mexicans “rapists” and “murderers,” accused black women of being dumb, said a judge is unfit because he’s of Mexican lineage, referred to immigrants as “animals,” engaged in birtherism, or praised Nazis.

It’d be like saying you’ll only hire the best people then hiring your daughter, your son-in-law, Betsy Devos, Ben Carson, Rick Perry, Omarosa, William Barr, Jeff Sessions, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon, etc.

It’d be like saying, “I know more than the generals” while believing there are invisible airplanes.

It’d be like claiming you’re a great negotiator then after receiving an offer, negotiating yourself down to receiving nothing.

It’s like giving your opponents nicknames like “Crooked Hillary” and “Lyin’ Ted” then telling over 10,000 lies.

It’d be like saying you love America and you’re a patriot while ignoring that Russia meddled in our last election and is planning to do it again in the next one.

It’d be like saying, “I’ll own the shutdown,” then later saying, “They did it.”

It’d be like saying, “No one understands science more than I do” while believing noise from windmills causes cancer.

It’d be like complaining that Facebook’s bans on racists are a threat to the First Amendment while declaring there should be laws restricting a free press.

It’d be like complaining about “fake news” while retweeting conspiracy theories.

It’d be like saying you’re a “young and vibrant man” while looking like THAT.

It’d be like making fun of someone else’s hair while wearing a bleached mongoose on your head.

It’d be like questioning if Obama was born in the United States while lying where your father was born.

It’d be like complaining about someone not releasing their college transcripts while hiding your college transcripts.

It’d be like complaining about someone staging a hate crime after you’ve encouraged your rally attendants to assault black people.

It’d be like saying, “no one respects women more than I do” while grabbing them by the pussy.

It’d be like complaining about Antifa when your supporters are mailing bombs to Democrats and journalists.

It’d be like saying, “No one’s more presidential than I am” while you’re dry humping a flag.

It’d be like “writing” a book when you’re illiterate.

It’d be like saying you support our troops after you’ve said a POW is not a war hero and feuded with Gold Star families.

It’d like accusing Joe Biden of being creepy after you’ve stated that if you two weren’t related, you’d be dating your daughter.

It’d be like accusing Democrats of colluding with Russia after you invited Russians into your campaign headquarters.

It’d be like claiming you’re a family man after you had three divorces and children from three different women.

It’d be like saying you don’t support Nazis after you hired Stephen Miller.

Yeah, it’d be like that.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.