Trump Shutdown

Nancy Boy

cjones02012019

Donald Trump is a delusional person. In addition to not playing with a full deck, he’s not playing with reality. Unfortunately, he’s also president of the United States.

Trump lies. According to The Washington Post, in a span of 649 days, Trump told 6,420 lies. In the seven weeks leading up the midterm elections, Trump averaged 30 lies a day. Trump makes crazy shit up and logical people, those who don’t support Trump, debate if he knows he’s lying or if he actually believes his own bullshit.

From the largest inauguration crowd ever, to New Jersey Muslims celebrating 9/11, to Obama bugging Trump Tower, to the largest electoral victory ever, to not knowing about hush payments to porn stars, to whatever that crap was about Mexicans and duct tape he was talking about last Friday, the president of our nation is a pathological liar. The guy even hangs fake Time Magazine covers of himself and has photos doctored to make his hands appear larger and his waistline smaller. Reality said bye-bye to Trump probably around the time he started believing that dead possum on his head looks good.

Trump is so delusional, that he demanded Democrats give him money for a border wall after Republicans refused to give it to him during his first two years in office.

Of course, after claiming he’d never cave into the shutdown of his own making, there was no way he was going to be realistic after he caved into Nancy Pelosi.

Trump tweeted, “This was in no way a concession. It was taking care of millions of people who were getting badly hurt by the Shutdown with the understanding that in 21 days, if no deal is done, it’s off to the races!”

Trump said he’d take credit for the shutdown, accepted a deal, changed his mind, shut down the government for 35 days, put hundreds of thousands of Americans deeper into debt while ruining their credit scores, then caves on the shutdown without getting a penny for his wall and signed the same deal he had rejected…so I’m missing the part where he was “taking care of” millions of people. Hell, he’s even threatening to hurt them again.

If you think Trump is delusional, his sycophantic base of MAGAheads is even worse. I was very interested in how they would respond to his capitulation to Nancy Pelosi. Of course, most of them were silent about it on Friday, choosing to spend the time complaining about the method in which Trump buddy and swinger, self-proclaimed dirty trickster, Nixon-loving, fellow liar, and all-around creepy guy Roger Stone was arrested. He should consider himself lucky the arresting agents didn’t take Trump’s advice to law enforcement to bang perps’ heads against the roof of their cars two dozen times while placing them in the back seat.

While Trump supporter Lou Dobbs was saying Trump “got whipped” and Ann Coulter was calling the president a “wimp,” there were sycophants struggling with reality.

There were those who claimed Trump was the adult in the room for ending a shutdown he created, and that he folded to help the nation he hurt. Others were claiming this was part of his game plan, like Muhammad Ali’s rope-a-dope strategy. Worst of all, they all still believe they’re getting their wall. Then again, they still believe Mexico is going to pay for it.

A conservative cartooning colleague of mine did a cartoon claiming Trump’s wall will only cost $5.7 billion while “Pelosi’s shutdown” costs us $6 billion. This guy actually went to college. His argument relies heavy on distortion. The $5.7 billion for the wall is a deposit, not the entire price. This guy has bought houses and cars, so he should understand that. Second, how is this Pelosi’s shutdown? He works for a big-city newspaper. Does he not read it? Did he not read Trump claiming the shutdown?

What’s even worse than the mindless MAGAheads and the dum-dum cartoonists is the entire Republican Party.

The GOP’s official Twitter account tweeted, “Democrats have held our government hostage for weeks, but thanks to President ‘s leadership, the government will reopen and federal workers will be paid in the next few days.”

They act like the Democrats refused to send him a budget, and he forced them to make one to end the shutdown. These idiots probably watched Batman and believe the Penguin (who looks a lot like Roger Stone) is the hero. Is Darth Vader the hero in Star Wars? Was Johnny in the Karate Kid the real victim of bullying? Was Hans Gruber just an innovative go-getter? Does Freddy Krueger get a bad rap? Was Minny’s chocolate-chip pie an unfair snack-attack on rich, uppity segregationists? Maybe Hannibal Lecter was just a little hungry. Norman Bates was just a boy who loved his mama.

I’ve been delusional as well. I’ve spent the past three years or so trying to show Trump MAGAhead sycophants that their president isn’t what they believe he is. That he’s a joke, a con man, a grifter, a crook, a lying racist with a severe narcissistic personality disorder, and a liar. In those three years, I haven’t changed one mind. Watching their reactions on Friday, it finally occurred to me; how can I change their minds when Trump, who proves my point every single day, can’t change them? If they’re not going to believe Trump then they’re not going to believe me.

If you’re a farmer who can’t sell his crops anymore because of Trump’s trade war, a federal worker who was just put deeper into debt and your credit score just took a huge hit, or you’re yelling for Trump to use your money to build a racist, medieval vanity project he promised Mexico would pay for, and you’re still supporting him, then I can’t help you. If nothing else, he should have lost your support the day he defended Nazis. Maybe I should stop cartooning and start selling bridges.

When reality finally hits Donald Trump, I hope it sounds a lot like the door-slam of a jail cell. As for his supporters, you wonder if 40 years later after the truth is known and undeniable, if they’re all going to be like Roger Stone with ugly tattoos on their backs.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Diary Of A Wimpy President

cjones01312019

Donald Trump had a bad day.

The day started with his buddy Roger Stone being arrested and indicted, and visuals of long delays at airports because of his shutdown (LaGuardia alone had over 1,100 delays). Facing a 34% approval rating, 46% approval for impeachment, and receiving more blame for the shutdown than Democrats because he initially took credit for it (and did it before Pelosi even took power as Speaker) Trump caved. Before the working day was over, Trump got owned by Nancy Pelosi (for the second time this week) and was being called a “wimp” by Ann Coulter. After over a month of a government shutdown, the longest in history, Trump got nothing. He didn’t get his wall.

Trump announced the end of the shutdown in the Rose Garden and immediately claimed he could have declared a national emergency to get his wall. That’s like a boxer claiming he saved his best punch after losing a fight.

Trump went into a long rant, as though he could rant his way out of eating the blame for the shutdown and losing the fight. He continued his rant about how he never asked for a wall from “sea to shining sea” (which his supporters believe they were promised) and something about Mexicans and duct tape.

Trump ended up signing the same bill that was presented to him before the shutdown (which he had initially agreed to). Since Trump got nothing for his shutdown, what was the point of putting 800,000 through financial distress and trauma? What was the point of holding them hostage? What was the point of cutting off wages to additional Americans, those contracted with the government and others whose jobs rely on business from federal workers? What was the point of damaging this nation? What was the point of risking an airline disaster? Was it all for his ego? Yes. Trump puts himself before the nation.

Nancy Pelosi said she wouldn’t negotiate the border wall until the government was reopened. She got exactly what she wanted. At this point, Trump will be lucky if she lets him give a State of the Union before Congress. There were two leaders on both sides. One kept their promise and one broke his. Trump swore he wouldn’t cave, yet he caved.

Trump claimed he made a deal with Congress, which as one commentator posted on Twitter, was like a deal between the allies and Germany in the Treaty of Versailles.

Trump tried to save face by tweeting, “I wish people would read or listen to my words on the Border Wall. This was in no way a concession. It was taking care of millions of people who were getting badly hurt by the Shutdown with the understanding that in 21 days, if no deal is done, it’s off to the races!”

It was a concession by the self-proclaimed “world’s best negotiator.” Trump is not the adult in the room taking care of millions of people hurt by the shutdown. It was his shutdown. If he was truly taking care of millions of Americans, then he never would have created the shutdown. Trump can try, but he can’t spin his way out of this defeat.

The spending bill signed today is for three weeks. Though we can’t ever underestimate the stupidity of Donald Trump, I predict in three weeks he will sign another spending bill without a wall. Trump has less leverage now, as in none, than he had before the shutdown. There will not be another one. Why?

Because Trump learned that Nancy Pelosi isn’t playing with him. He learned Pelosi is smarter, more savvy, and tougher than he is. If Pelosi and Democrats didn’t cave to him during this shutdown, why would they during the next? We also learned that Donald Trump will cave. Democrats, Republicans, and even Trump himself learned he folds. Why should anyone back a guy who is going to hold hostages only to surrender without receiving anything? He didn’t even get a jet to Moscow.

I also predict we’re going to hear less about the wall. Trump is already downplaying the physical structure. I think he’s hoping people will forget it, like they forgot Mexico was supposed to pay for it. Trump won’t declare a national emergency because that’s another battle he doesn’t want to lose, but again, we can’t underestimate his stupidity.

An inside source in the White House referred to Pelosi as “President Pelosi” when telling a reporter that she runs the government now. That might be hyperbole, but nothing is going to be done over the next two years without her approval.

Anything Trump wants to accomplish now will be even harder, his polls have dropped, and he is now significantly politically weaker. He never should have created the shutdown crisis over a broken campaign promise. He couldn’t get funding for his useless, racist, medieval vanity project from Republicans, so he demanded it from Democrats. Trump is an idiot in most areas, but as a politician, he’s the king of idiots. But even Trump isn’t dumb enough to not see that he lost his ass on this on one. He lost it to a woman and a better human being.

Another woman is giving Trump the business over the shutdown, but she’s not with the Democrats. Ann Coulter loves everything hateful and conservative. She’s been one of the largest proponents for the racist wall, naturally because it’s racist. It was her criticism of Trump, along with Rush Limbaugh, that made him reverse course on the initial deal (which he signed Friday to end the shutdown) that started the shutdown. After he caved into Pelosi and Democrats for nothing in return, Coulter tweeted, “Good news for George Herbert Walker Bush: As of today, he is no longer the biggest wimp ever to serve as President of the United States.”

For once, I have to agree with Ann Coulter. Lindsey Graham said during the shutdown that Trump’s presidency was basically over if he caved into the Democrats. It’s over if his base folds on him like he folded on them.

His presidency is not over. He still has the power to pardon his goons. But the Trump agenda is dead, done, gone, bye-bye. Say hello to the new boss, Nancy Pelosi. Pelosi is not a wimp.

Donald Trump caves. Donald Trump is the wimp.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Shutdown Sufferers

cjones01282019

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has officially canceled Donald Trump giving a State of the Union address before Congress. She sent a letter using language Trump can understand. Reportedly, it said “nyet.”

Trump intends to continue the government shutdown indefinitely as the White House is doing a study on how much damage will be inflicted on specific programs if it continues into March. We’re not even into February yet.

Trump believes the polls will shift in his direction and the public will turn their blame and anger on the Democrats for the shutdown, despite his boast of owning it before it started. I’m not sure the public will blame the Democrats, as Trump’s poll numbers have sunk to 34% and Pelosi is right under 50%.

Keep in mind, after over a decade of Republicans gaslighting the public and casting the Speaker as the Devil incarnate from liberal San Francisco, her numbers are always low…and now she’s scoring higher than Trump. If Trump is at 34%, then where’s flaming bags of dog shit, 35%?

Trump says Pelosi is afraid of hearing the truth during the State of the Union, says the guy afraid of Michael Cohen testifying. If he was to speak the truth, I don’t think any Democrat would be afraid of hearing him say, “Thanks to me, the state of our union is a flaming bag of dog shit.”

The state of our union is a burning bag of crap because this is what happens when you elect an incompetent, stupid, idiotic, narcissist who doesn’t just put his personal interests before the nation, but also his fragile thin ego.  This idiot couldn’t get funding for his racist, medieval vanity project from Republicans, so now he’s demanding it from Democrats. And the bigger idiots, the people who voted for him, have forgotten they were promised Mexico is going to pay for the wall, and they’re now upset that Democrats won’t force them to pay for it.

Trump claims he can relate to the 800,000 federal workers who have been affected by the shutdown and are about miss their second paycheck, thus being unable to pay their bills with many facing evictions. They have larger problems to deal with than not being able to give a speech where they want.

The empathy runs through the Trump family, as Lara Trump, wife of idiot son number two, said the shutdown is a “little bit of pain” for federal workers, but future generations will “thank” them “for their sacrifice.”

I believe encouragement to “hang in there” from ivory towers will fall on deaf ears of those out on the street. Nowhere on those lists of part time jobs issued by federal agencies for furloughed workers did I see “marry rich asshole.”

Donald Trump gave in to Pelosi on the State of the Union, announcing his surrender last night on Twitter. My hope is he develops a taste for having his ass handed to him by a woman who is much smarter and more talented than he is. He’s not in Pelosi’s league.

Trump isn’t used to being told no by anyone. Perhaps hearing it now and learning to lose over stupid problems he created will teach him to accept losing in the future. Even though losing the shutdown fight will prove to everyone that Trump manufactured the crisis and wasted everyone’s time over his ego, he needs to go ahead and lose for the benefit of the nation. There are bigger problems in this nation than Trump’s bruised ego.

Hopefully, Donald Trump accepts with dignity losing in 2020, quite possibly having his ass handed to him again by a woman, but then again…I couldn’t give a flaming bag of dog shit how he feels about it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Hater Dreams

cjones01262019

How long will a racist spend at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial when forced to go? About two minutes.

I can relate. It’s like going to a party you don’t want to go to, or has often been my case in the past, a band’s show. But, you feel you need to make an appearance, so you show up for a little while, engage one or two people in conversations, have a drink, then cut out. If you’re lucky, enough people will have seen you to say you were indeed there in case anyone asks. I mean, how many times do you need to hear the same band cover “Dirty Deeds?”

Normally, when you make the obligatory appearance, it takes longer than two minutes. That’s about how long Donald Trump and Mike Pence spent at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial in Washington yesterday on MLK Day. In their defense, it was cold, nobody was selling hamberders, and they’re racists.

While Democrats fanned out to public events across the nation to commemorate the holiday, the prez and his veep were in and out of the memorial faster than Mike and Karen Pence discovering they had accidentally walked into a gay wedding.

Mike Pence also commemorated the holiday the day before by comparing Donald Trump to MLK.  While on CBS’s Face the Nation, Pence said, “One of my favorite quotes from Dr. King was ‘Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy.’ King inspired us to change through the legislative process, to become a more perfect union. That’s exactly what President Trump is calling on Congress to do.”

Seriously, if Dr. King inspired you to use legislation to create medieval, racist, vanity projects, I don’t think you were listening very closely.

Certainly, Dr. King didn’t inspire Mike’s wife, Karen, to take a job at an anti-LGBT Christian school as an art teacher. Pence is upset over criticism his wife is receiving for teaching at the school that seeks to exclude homosexual and transgender students and staff members because of their “moral misconduct.” How dare people not tolerate their intolerance. If this teaching gig doesn’t work out, she can always apply at Catholic Covington where the students wear black-face at basketball games.

The good news is Pence oozes tolerance when it comes to worshiping a deity who paid hush money to porn stars. He’s a 19th century kind of guy.

What shouldn’t be tolerated is Pence comparing Dr. King to a man who sought to disavow the nation’s first black president with a racist birther theory, was slow to disavow David Duke, protested the removal of “beautiful Confederate monuments,” and approved of the “very fine people” marching with neo-Nazis in Charlottesville.

Trump was a young man during the Civil Rights movement. While Dr. King was protesting the Vietnam War, Trump was avoiding it by claiming he had bone spurs.

While Dr. King said he hopes there comes a day when his children are not “judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character,” Trump said his daughter has “got the best body” and if he wasn’t her father then he’d probably be dating her.

Dr. King won the Nobel Peace Prize. Trump can’t spell “Nobel Peace Prize.”

Dr. King donated his Nobel prize money to charity. Trump steals from charity.

Dr. King was Time Magazine’s Man of the Year. Trump hangs fake Time Magazine covers of himself in his snooty golf resorts.

Dr. King was defined by civil disobedience and was arrested for it 29 times. Trump says “fire that son of a bitch” when an NFL athlete protests and there should be limits on a free press.

Dr. King said, “We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.” Donald Trump says, “Build the wall.”

One of these men inspired millions to fight for Civil Rights and equality. The other inspires millions to hate and oppress. One of these men asked America to open its mind and the other is telling us to close it.

MLK had a dream to make this nation better. Trump has a dream to make it worse and to get away with Russian collusion, obstruction of justice, tax fraud, and maybe dating his daughter. I don’t want to get in that head.

Mike Pence should stop the comparisons of Trump and Martin Luther King Jr. unless he’s pointing out that one was one of the greatest men in American history and the other is one of the most vilest persons to ever command a podium.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Cork In The Union

cjones01232019

Cartoonist note: If you heard the analogy in this cartoon before, it’s because I tweeted and facebooked it yesterday.

In case you haven’t noticed by now, Donald Trump is a man-baby who doesn’t just need approval (why doesn’t The New York Times like him?), he craves adoration. Every cabinet meeting begins with genuflection and the entire room surrendering their dignity.

So, the yearly State of the Union speech before both houses of Congress where the entire room applauds when you walk in and your arrival is announced as if you’re Elvis is like a day of cake, ice cream, Time Magazine covers, and hamberders to Donald Trump. Taking that away from Trump would be a dagger to his ultra-thin whiny ego. That’s exactly where House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stuck it.

Citing security concerns during the Trump shutdown, Pelosi suggested that Trump postpones or cancel his speech until the government reopens. It makes sense as the speech usually starts about how strong our union is. Naturally, Donald Trump wouldn’t want to lie during a government shutdown…oh yeah. This is Donald Trump.

There is no requirement for the president to deliver his speech in person. It’s more of a tradition, like the president saluting members of the military or releasing his taxes. The requirement in the Constitution is that the president “shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.” It doesn’t even say he has to do it annually (if you’re a Republican, “annually” means once a year). The tradition of delivering it in person was started by President Woodrow Wilson in 1913, which is something Trump probably does not know. It wasn’t even referred to as the “State of the Union” until 1934 when President Franklin Delano Roosevelt used the term.

President George Washington (if you’re a Republican, that’s our first president), did deliver his speech in person, but President Thomas Jefferson ended that, considering it too “monarchical” (if you’re a Republican, that means all king-like and prancy). Every president since Wilson has given it in person at least once except Herbert Hoover (Edit: I messed up and wrote that Hoover was Wilson’s “predecessor” intending to write immediate “successor,” and I even got that wrong. Hoover was two presidents after Wilson. I messed up). The last president to deliver it by letter was President Jimmy Carter in his last year, after being defeated by Ronald Reagan.

A lot of Republicans were angered by Pelosi’s move, because it was brilliant. Until now, the only way Trump could relate to the suffering of government employees not receiving paychecks to pay their bills, feed their families, pay daycare, put gas in their cars, etc., was that he hasn’t been able to go to his swanky, private golf resort in Florida, play golf, let wedding guests pose with the nuclear football, and bilk the government for his stay. He reminds us of this almost daily since the shutdown began. Oh, the suffering. Pelosi just took away the one thing he could look forward to, other than all those hamberders.

Now, Trump has struck back. He grounded military flights for Pelosi and other members of Congress, minutes before they were to leave on a secret trip to visit troops in Afghanistan. On the same day, he allowed a military plane to fly First Lady Melania to that snobby golf resort.

Trump’s move, coming just a day after Pelosi suggested he not give the State of the Union, is petty. Pelosi’s move can actually make Trump more eager to end the shutdown since low approval numbers and starving federal workers aren’t making an impression. It was also negligent since the trip was secret and has put service members in danger that will be transporting and protecting the delegation. It also cost thousands of dollars to cancel it on such an abrupt notice.

Trump, being the petty child that he is, wrote in his letter that Pelosi was free to make her trip on a commercial flight. How nice of him to suggest the second person in line to the presidency take a commercial flight while air traffic controllers aren’t being paid and after he declassified the mission. But then again, Trump doesn’t care about endangering American lives as his “ISIS is dead” comment only triggered the terrorist organization to kill four Americans this week.

I have a suggestion to Trump. Since Pelosi can’t make the trip (and he did visit Iraq during this shutdown without flying commercial), and he hasn’t been to Afghanistan in the two years he’s been president (Obama went four times), he should take her place. He should just be sure to announce publicly when and where he’s going.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

No.

cjones01152019

The word Donald Trump hates hearing the most is “no.” He especially hates hearing it from women, whether it’s, “No, you can’t barge into that teenage girls’ dressing room,” or from a female Speaker of the House saying, “No, you can’t have money for a racist, medieval vanity project.”

During the last session of negotiations with Democrats earlier this week, Donald Trump got up from the table and left the room after Nancy Pelosi told him no. He asked if he ended the shutdown now if he’d get his wall afterward. After not getting the answer he wanted, he reportedly slammed his fist on the table and stormed out. Trump had a temper tantrum.

Yesterday, Trump visited the border with Mexico in Texas. It was what he described to reporters earlier in the week as a “waste of time” and a photo opportunity. He said it wouldn’t do any good, but he was going anyway.

Speaking of a waste, those steel slats Trump has been boasting about can be hacked through with a typical saw you can purchase at Home Depot, or perhaps the ones Fisher Price makes. In a test by the Department of Homeland Security, military and Border Patrol experts were instructed to attempt to destroy the barriers with common tools. They succeeded.

While in McAllen, Texas, Trump sat at a table with border agents and victims of crimes, a display of methamphetamine and heroin, an AK-47 and an AR-15 rifle, and a trash bag stuffed with $362,062 in cash that had been confiscated by law enforcement officials. Trump claimed the display was evidence of a crisis as it had all been apprehended recently. The facts are actually quite different.

Trump said, “They didn’t have to go very far. This is all very recent.” However, the display of drugs, weapons, and cash was mainly the product of law enforcement actions stopping criminals at international bridges, where most drugs are smuggled, and conventional ports of entry. A wall, even one of steel slats wouldn’t have prevented the drugs and weapons from crossing the border. Even if they had crossed where there weren’t official entry points, border agents and their methods caught it, not a wall. Wouldn’t the evidence prove agents are doing a great job and a wall isn’t necessary?

In a place where a wall is already in place, law enforcement officials boasted of apprehending criminals who had built a tunnel. The money was taken from a suspect who had overstayed a visa. Who knew walls didn’t stop tunnels or people from overstaying their visas?

People who support the wall talk about how dangerous it is in Texas because of illegal immigrants. The fact is crime is at a 30-year low in McAllen, which is on the border.

Last year, more people who are the terrorist watch list were stopped at the Canadian border than the one with Mexico. This “crisis” is about race. It’s about brown people. In case you haven’t noticed, the only immigrants Republicans and Trump sycophants are fearmongering about are brown. Most drugs enter through ports of entry and most who are here illegally are those who have overstayed visas. Illegal border crossings have been going down steadily over the past decade. A wall is not the solution to a crisis that doesn’t exist.

Nancy Pelosi needs to keep telling Trump “no.” The wall is a waste, probably impossible logistically, and its blatant racism. “Build the wall” started as a memory trick to remind a dumbass at rallies to talk about immigration. The trick that worked on a stupid candidate now works on morons whose opinions on policy are created from racist rally chants. They’ve all forgotten the promise that Mexico was going to pay for the wall.

If you are one of the morons who support the Trump shutdown and you’re not a government employee, you need to hang on to your paycheck, don’t cash or deposit it, until federal workers are paid. If you can repeat the chant then you can share their pain. Right?

Pelosi and Democrats need to keep telling Trump “no.” When he asks again, repeat the answer. When he has a temper tantrum, say it again. When he lies to everyone about it and cast Democrats as the villains, say it again. No. No. No. No. Make him hear it in his sleep. No.

Is Donald Trump qualified to lead this nation? No. Is there a crisis? No. Will a wall work? No. Does Trump care about government workers missing their paychecks today? No.

Is Trump making America great again? Hell no.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Trump Relates

cjones01142019

There are so many ways Donald Trump can relate to furloughed federal workers unable to pay their bills because of his shutdown. For example; none of them were able to spend New Years Eve and day at Mar-a-Lago. Why, Trump was forced to spend it in the cold, drab White House. He probably didn’t even have those plastic little thingies that look like tiny champagne bottles with a string attached, and when you pull the string confetti flies out. Sad. Especially considering they’re the only noisemakers tiny-fingered people can play with.

Speaking to reporters Sunday about furloughed government workers, Trump said, “I can relate, and I’m sure that the people that are on the receiving end will make adjustments, they always do, and they’ll make adjustments. People understand exactly what’s going on. But many of those people that won’t be receiving a paycheck, many of those people agree 100 percent with what I’m doing.”

Trump believes the bubble that is his Twitter page correctly gauges the mood of the nation. It doesn’t. Most government employees would rather have a paycheck, pay their bills, and feed their families than have a wall on the Mexican border. I can relate. I enjoy eating much more than erecting racist symbols in a desert.

We’re nearing three weeks into this Trump shutdown and on Friday, workers will miss their first paychecks. The rancor and anger at Donald Trump will surely increase by then and continue to grow after. Hundreds are actually setting up GoFundMe campaigns to try to make ends meet. According to CBS News, over 700 campaigns have been launched. I guess the government’s advice about doing chores for rent didn’t go over that well with landlords.

The Coast Guard also gave their employees helpful advice to make ends meet, such as babysitting (Senate Republicans will show you how to do that), dog walking, holding garage sales (let me know if you find any GOP backbones), and becoming a mystery shopper. Mystery shoppers are hired to rate businesses, but right now I’m pretty sure they’d all give Donald Trump a you-suck rating.

Trump is not hearing that message. He also said, “Many of those people, maybe most of those people, that really have not been — and will not be getting their money in at this moment — those people, in many cases, are the biggest fan of what we’re doing.” Yes, hostages love being hostages. They especially love being bartered for racist, medieval vanity projects.

Last Thursday, in a surprise briefing, Trump laid some more stupidity on us by saying, “I have never had so much support as I have in the last week over my stance for border security … or, frankly, the wall or the barrier. I have never had anything like it in terms of calls coming in, in terms of people writing in and tweeting. I’ve never had this much support.”

I’m not sure how those calls are coming in since the White House switchboard and the call-in phone line to the White House are not operating due to the government shutdown. Maybe they’re using the same line some of our former presidents used to tell Trump they wish they had built a wall. They probably said they wish they had BOUGHT The Wall because discovering that Pink Floyd album late in life truly is a tragedy.

A Quinnipiac poll found that 54% of Americans oppose the wall and a Harvard CAPS/Harris online survey found that number to be 56%. Despite this, Trump says he’s determined to keep the government shutdown for months or even years if he doesn’t get what his wants.

The Democrats in the House are passing bills to reopen the government but the Republican Senate refuses to hold votes on them. Despite their fear of Trump, Republicans will cave before we get to months of a shutdown. They already know this entire ordeal is stupid and is being waged over Trump’s pride and ego. When the public starts to come down on them, they’ll throw Trump under the bus to save their own skin. They’re Republicans. They’re cowards. It’s what they do. In two years, no one is going to punish them for funding the government, but voters will punish them if they keep this going.

The shutdown doesn’t just hurt those employed by the government. It hurts their families. It hurts government contractors. Businesses that rely on government workers are feeling the crunch. People with loans, mortgages, health care needs, tax situations, etc, will be impacted. This will go beyond the 800,000 government workers and stretch into the millions.

Donald Trump, a man who was given an allowance of over $200,000 a year by the time he was two, can’t relate to people who aren’t receiving paychecks. They don’t have a rich daddy to bail them out. They don’t have a sham university grifting stupid people. They don’t have charitable foundations they can steal from. They can’t license their name on cheap crap that only sells when people accidentally click the Buy-It-Now button. They don’t have Russian benefactors, and they probably can’t get loans from Deutsche Bank.

If Trump could relate to the pain and suffering of others, he wouldn’t use them as bargaining chips to satisfy his ego. He never would have started this useless shutdown over a broken campaign promise for a useless wall that Mexico was going to pay for. Right now, government workers are paying for Trump’s broken campaign promises. American workers are paying for Trump’s lies. The only way Trump could relate to those 800,000 furloughed is if they all have extremely tiny, mushroom-shaped penises.

When future historians get to this page, they’re going to say, “Well that was stupid.” They will also be educated on what happens to a nation when it elects an idiot to the highest office in the land…as they’re climbing out of the rubble that idiot left for them.

As I wrote and drew, the other day, Donald Trump is the national emergency. Republicans need to join Democrats, put their nation over a stupid cult of personality, and shut him down.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Prime Time Liar

cjones01132019

Last night, Donald Trump made news with a prime time address from the prestigious setting of the Oval Office. I mean, it was news if you’re a Trump sycophant who believes a 72-year-old racist, sniffy, bloviating Cheeto-skinned fear monger repeating the same arguments from the past three years off a teleprompter with the reading level of a third grader is news.

In 2014, the major networks refused to air a prime-time address by President Obama because they deemed it too political. Last night, they aired one from Donald Trump where he argued that Democrats should end his government shutdown by funding his racist medieval vanity project so rapists and murderers would stop crossing our southern border. I’m glad it didn’t get political.

The latest talking point from the stupidest and most racist administration in American history is “crisis.”

Yes, we have a crisis on the border if you can ignore the facts that illegal border crossings have been decreasing steadily over the past decade, most drugs entering this nation pass through ports of entry, people here illegally commit far less violent crimes than those born here naturally, and most here illegally entered with visas.

All the above was fact-checked by one news anchor who also reported that the $5.7 billion the shutdown is over was requested, not by law enforcement as Trump claimed, but by Trump himself. The anchor also called Trump out over his claim that the new trade deal with Mexico will pay for the wall, by pointing out the deal is not yet complete. That anchor was Shep Smith of Fox News.

Trump also claimed the wall would pay for itself. He didn’t explain how, so we’re all to assume the wall will get a job.

There is a crisis on the border, but it’s not crossings. It’s Trump’s policy of family separation and putting children in detention camps. In addition to the shutdown, Trump owns a humanitarian crisis.

Trump’s address would have made news if he used it to declare a “national emergency,” but he didn’t. That is a good thing because the only national emergency for Trump is that government employees won’t be paid this Friday, he’s losing support, and he’s owning this shutdown.

If the border crisis is such a national emergency, then how does it make sense to have the government shutdown? How will $5.7 billion, a down payment for a construction project that will take years and be much more expensive, be an immediate solution?

Trump let radio talk show host bungholes cajole him into this shutdown and now he’s in a corner he can’t get out of. If he crumbles, his entire argument for the wall and Mexico ever paying for it is over. If he holds firm, he’ll continue to hurt 800,000 government employees and the families and local economies that rely on their income.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer gave a rebuttal while sharing a podium and looking goofy. But their argument made sense. End the shutdown and continue negotiating about border security. Democrats will support funding for the border, just not a stupid and useless wall.

Trump’s address was to save his skin among his base, but all he did was repeat the same arguments he made over the past week to the press and on Twitter. He blamed Democrats, claimed they don’t support border security, and lied about the dangers of immigrants. And, he did it without any energy or enthusiasm.

It was later reported that Trump didn’t want to give the speech or go to Texas later this week for a border photo-op. In an off-the-record luncheon, he told reporters, “It’s not going to change a damn thing, but I’m still doing it,” and that the Texas trip is just a “photo opportunity.” Somehow, all that got on the record.

Don’t expect the public mood to shift in Trump’s favor. He made the same argument about the border and created lies about migrant caravans during the campaign for the midterm elections. America responded by voting overwhelmingly against the Trump agenda. The majority of Americans are rejecting racism and xenophobia.

Once again, Trump proved he can’t be trusted. This time, the networks got burned. Maybe they’ll remember this non-news event the next time Trump asks to use their networks for a prime-time address. But, they probably didn’t learn anything.

I expect more Republicans to call to end the shutdown before this day is over. I also expect Trump to end the shutdown soon and tell us we should all thank him for that. His supporters will echo that, and he was the mature one for ending it…after starting it. That is not a bold prediction.

Creative note: I finally caved and did a Pinocchio cartoon. I thought this was an interesting take on the cliché while poking fun at myself for always drawing Trump’s hair and tie protruding out of televisions. What will I do next, draw Trump as Humpty Dumpty on the wall?

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

THE National Emergency

cjones01112019

Apparently, we’re under a “national emergency” that will allow Donald Trump to become a dictator. No. The emergency isn’t over the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Breakfast Club dancing video or a congresswoman dropping an F-bomb while talking impeachment.

Trump is threatening to declare a national emergency if Democrats don’t give him $5 billion to start his racist medieval vanity project in the form of a wall on the Mexican border. This move will be an attempt to raid the Defense Department’s budget, and maybe other departments, for his $5 billion. The man who considers himself a great negotiator is acting like a hostage negotiator with him being the one holding the hostages.

Declaring a national emergency is real popular with authoritarian leaders. It’s been used recently in Turkey, Egypt, and Venezuela to expand those leaders’ powers.

Illegal immigration is not the greatest threat or challenge for the United States. In fact, the number of people illegally crossing our southern border has been steadily decreasing every year since 2007. So, why is it a national emergency now?

If it’s such a national emergency, then why does the Trump administration feel the need to create lies over it? Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen stated Friday that “over 3,000 special interest aliens” trying to enter the U.S. from the southern border had been stopped by Border Patrol agents. This is a lie. Sunday, White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders ignored Fox News’ Chris Wallace as he laid out facts, and she upped the lie to 4,000 stopped.

No terrorist has been found entering through our southern border. The “special interest aliens” are people stopped in airports whether it’s because they’re on the no-fly list or they just look shady. A lot of these people weren’t even arrested. How does stopping people in airports justify a national emergency to build a 2,000-mile wall on our southern border?

How does illegal immigration justify a national emergency and a southern border wall when the majority of people in this nation illegally didn’t enter through our border with Mexico?

If it’s a national emergency, then why all this over $5 billion when the wall will ultimately cost between $30 billion to $70 billion?

How is this a national emergency if Mexico is going to pay for the wall?

Experts agree that a wall is ineffective and logistically impossible. It is simply a racist vanity project that makes right-wingers and racists feel warm and squishy inside. You don’t need facts or actual results to feel warm and squishy.

A national emergency isn’t immigration. It’s war, plague, climate change, or a humanitarian crisis.

Or, a national emergency is a racist president who attacks the First Amendment, the free press, incites hate crimes, defends Nazis, and is being controlled by Vladimir Putin.

Donald Trump is THE national emergency.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Putin Talking Points

cjones01092019

Did you know the reason the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan in 1979 was because of terrorism? Did you know the Soviet Union had the right to invade them? Did you know it led to the Soviet Union being called “Russia” today? Yeah, me neither.

First, a quick little history lesson.

Afghanistan was a puppet government of the Soviet Union. When an insurgency popped up, initially backed by Pakistan and Iran, the Soviet Union invaded to protect their puppet state. Their justification was the Brezhnev Doctrine, which was a policy they used to justify their “right” to intervene in the affairs of communist countries. This was a big deal during the Cold War and the Soviets had argued this policy when intervening in uprisings in Hungary and Czechoslovakia, retroactively. Russians are real big about revisionism, which we’ll get to in a minute.

Leonid Brezhnev was the head of the Soviet Union and he sent Soviet forces into his southern neighbor where they fought for ten years trying to protect communism. By the end of the war, the Soviets lost nearly 15,000 soldiers and their Afghan allies lost around 18,000. It’s estimated they had killed between 75,000 to 90,000 of the Mujahideen, the forces trying to restore Afghanistan back to an Islamist state.

Between 562,000 to two million civilians were killed with around three million wounded. There were about five million refugees and two million displaced.

The United States, along with the United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, West Germany, Pakistan, and China, were aiding the Mujahideen (which included the likes of Osama bin Laden). Go rent Charlie Wilson’s War.

President Jimmy Carter’s administration opposed the Soviet invasion and even boycotted participating in the Moscow Olympics over it. President Ronald Reagan continued Carter’s policy of support against the Soviet Union. These were two presidents, Democratic and Republican who knew that the Russians were not our friend.

Earlier this week while engaging in an incoherent rant at a cabinet meeting, Donald Trump, the current president of the United States, said, “The reason Russia was in Afghanistan was because terrorists were going into Russia. They were right to be there. The problem is, it was a tough fight. And literally, they went bankrupt; they went into being called Russia again, as opposed to the Soviet Union. You know, a lot of these places you’re reading about now are no longer part of Russia because of Afghanistan.”

His rambling kinda reminded me of my college history professor, who was also insane. He once went on a rant about how great Montreal was until draft dodging American hippies went up there and pooped on the sidewalks. The subject we were on was not Vietnam or Canadian history. Fortunately, it wasn’t on the test.

I don’t know if my college professor was accurate at any part of his rant, or if he was off his meds like our president, but everything Donald Trump said was bullshit.

The war was not about terrorism, they did not have the right to be there, and Afghanistan is just one of many factors leading to the collapse of the Soviet Union. But where did Donald Trump get this idea about the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan? I was a kid and I remember all of this, so surely an old orange racist fart like Donald Trump would remember it. Right? Since there has never been any sort of revisionist campaign in this nation about the Soviet’s invasion, how could Trump come up with such a cockamamie description? Putin.

Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has much control over Trump, has initiated a propaganda campaign describing the war exactly as Donald Trump did. So, did Trump get this description from his master? Probably, but when? Did Putin feed it into his head during their private off-the-record chat in Helsinki? Probably.

Once again, Trump is doing Putin’s bidding. He’s advocating for Russian propaganda and even that nation’s pride. He’s arguing they had the right to invade their neighbor, undermining American policy and patriotism of Presidents Carter and Reagan.

The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page, a friend to Trump’s policies and owned by Rupert Murdoch, called Trump’s history lesson “reprehensible.”

They wrote, “We cannot recall a more absurd misstatement of history by an American President.”

I can’t recall a more absurd human to occupy the office of the American presidency. I also can’t recall one more stupid, racist, traitorous, despicable, stupid, sexists, and appeasing to Russia.

Did I mention “stupid” more than once? I’m fine with that.

Trump is Putin’s puppet, and he appeases him again and again. He’s defended Russia’s attack on our democracy and now he’s advocating for Putin’s propaganda. I think Trump’s comments is further justification for his impeachment. I hope Mueller is taking notes.

Trump and Putin are trying to rewrite history. I assure you, history won’t be kind to them. Instead of rewriting history, I’d rather see Trump become history.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.