Trump Cabinet

No, Don’t Leave, Bye


CNN07142019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Donald Trump claims labor secretary Alexander Acosta decided to resign, and he pushed for him to stay. If you believe that then you probably also believe Trump had the largest inauguration crowd, won the popular vote, millions of illegals voted, George Soros is funding caravan invasions, he never assaulted a woman, has the best words, his father was born in Germany, and accomplished more than any president before him (this is a very short list).

Trump has the habit of defending men who assault women (Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, Roy Moore, Rob Porter, himself. Again, a short list), so he’s not going to have a problem with a prosecutor who cuts a sweetheart deal for one of them. But, if he thinks it’s going to reflect on him poorly, especially with an election coming up, buh-bye.

Trump demands loyalty while giving none.

Here’s the rough.

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Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Don’t Mess Around With Jim


cjones07182019

Donald Trump, who only hires the “best people,” just lost his ninth cabinet member. Trump has had more turnover in his cabinet in the first two and a half years of his presidency than any of his five immediate predecessors did in their entire first terms.

News flash! Donald Trump does NOT hire the best people. He hires cronies, freaks, sycophants, goons, bums, right-wing zealots, white nationalists, fucknuts, shitweasels, and members of his family, which I know is redundant. Another reason he goes through so many people (other than wearing them out from Trump fuckery) is that he doesn’t vet properly. This is a guy who hired a wife beater for his staff. This is a guy who hired Omarosa, Steve Bannon, and Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller.

Trump’s labor secretary has been under fire ever since federal prosecutors in New York brought new charges of sex trafficking against Jeffery Epstein last week, who had received a sweetheart prosecution deal from Acosta years ago.

Acosta gave an extremely long press conference to defend his handling of the Epstein case. According to inside sources, Trump pushed Acosta to explain himself to the press and the American people. Acosta believed the performance helped save his job and word is Trump was very pleased with it as well…until he watched TV.

Acosta abruptly resigned Friday morning, citing his presence as a distraction for Trump and the “great” economy they claim they created. Trump claims it was Acosta’s idea to resign, but after watching critical coverage of the press conference, he began questioning whether he should keep the guy. Trump is that guy who asks if his pants make his ass look fat when it’s his fat ass making his ass look fat.

The impression is Trump affiliates with pedophiles, rapists, and creepers. You know, contemporaries.

Acosta is a distraction for Trump, but not one that hurts the image they want to present on the economy (the image is, Obama created that economy plus, he never hired wife beaters or endorsed pedophiles for elected office). Acosta’s presence is a reminder that Trump has ties to Epstein also…and he too has multiple accusations from women, two accusing him of rape. Donald Trump doesn’t care about justice, law and order, or the treatment of women. He’s more concerned with how it reflects on him, especially going into an election.

Trump has been looking to get an Acosta out of his life, but one who’s been a larger pain in his side than Alex…and who actually does his job. Donald Trump hates CNN’s Jim Acosta, who covers the White House.

Trump has personally attacked Jim Acosta for asking reasonable questions. He charged that he’s “a rude, terrible person,” “fake news” and that CNN should be ashamed for employing him. Trump even tried to “lift” his White House pass because he doesn’t like his questions.

When Trump and White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders attempted to ban Acosta from the White House, other news outlets, including Fox News, came to the reporter’s defense. A federal judge, who was appointed by Trump, ordered Acosta’s pass to be restored.

Acosta has a new book recounting his time covering the Trump White House, titled, The Enemy of the People: A Dangerous Time to Tell the Truth in America. Trump and his sycophants have made this a dangerous time to tell the truth, and that’s exactly how they want it.

In the book, Acosta describes a Trump supporter at a rally being surprised that he recited the pledge of allegiance and sang “The Star-Spangled Banner.” He was surprised because Trump has convinced his deplorables that the press is the “enemy of the American people.” It is a dangerous time to tell the truth in America.

Personally, I’m glad the right Acosta has quit his job. This nation doesn’t need Alexander, but it needs Jim to continue to hold Trump and his goon squad accountable.

And, if Jim Acosta ever does stop covering the White House, I’m sure Trump will hold a party. But, it won’t be nearly as big as the party we’re gonna have when he leaves the White House.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Paging Dr. Double Stuf


cjones05252019

Seriously. Ben Carson is on the president of the United States’ cabinet. I mean, we all knew his presidential run was a joke…but couldn’t it have stopped there? Of course not because Donald Trump’s campaign and presidency are as much of a joke and one of the proofs of that is the fact Ben Freaking Carson is on his cabinet.

It’s a huge mystery how someone like Ben Carson is a brain surgeon because when you hear the guy talk, you would rather have Charlie Sheen cracking open your head and poking around with a scalpel than Dr. Carson. But from all accounts, he’s a brilliant brain surgeon, which means he’s either the rain man of brain surgery or he got so confident in his ability, that he performed brain surgery on himself.

When not spending his time as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development ordering expensive furniture and an $8,000 dishwasher for his office…yes, a dishwasher…Carson is busy not familiarizing himself with the duties of the HUD director. This was fully evident during his congressional testimony Tuesday before the House Financial Services Committee.

When questioned about the implications of HUD’s proposed budget cuts by Representative Ayanna Pressley, Carson refused to answer. He even got frustrated that Pressley was asking questions from notes and said, “ask me some questions yourself and stop reading.” As you know, Trump cultists are very suspicious of people who read.

When a witness is being difficult and stalling for time, a representative will often “reclaim” their time, as each is only given a few minutes. At one point during the exchange, Carson said he was “reclaiming my time.” What time was Carson reclaiming? Witnesses don’t reclaim time because they don’t have time to reclaim. It’s small wonder he didn’t ask for a lifeline to call a friend. From the portrait in his home that was broadcast through social media, that friend would have been Jesus.

But, the most mind-boggling and disturbing exchange occurred with Representative Katie Porter when she was asking him about foreclosed real estate properties.

Porter asked Carson to explain the disparity in REO rates. As Carson looked confused, well more confused than usual, Porter asked him if he knew what an “REO” was. Carson responded with, “An Oreo?” Yes, Dr. Carson. Because Congress wants you to stand before a committee and talk about cookies.

Porter informed him that an “REO” is an acronym for “Real Estate Owned.” It’s not a cookie or a crappy rock band from the 1980s that specialized in sentimental cheesy pop (Best or worst lyric in rock and roll history, “you laid still in the grass all coiled up and hissing”).

Carson offered to get Porter in touch with “people who do that” (deal with foreclosed properties) at HUD, oblivious to the fact that Porter, before she ran for Congress, was California’s independent monitor of banks in a nationwide $25 billion mortgage settlement.

Carson later tweeted that he was sending some Oreo cookies to Porter, which she confirmed she had received. As to any answers she had requested, those were still in limbo.

Donald Trump proved he doesn’t take the job of president seriously by putting someone like Ben Carson on his cabinet. Granted, Carson is just one of several unqualified and corrupt people on the president’s cabinet, but he’s probably the dumbest.

Granted, you and I probably wouldn’t have known what an “REO” was, but we’re not the HUD director. I’m also pretty sure we wouldn’t have thought it was a cookie.

As for Carson and his Oreos, I do hope he has supervision if he’s dunking in milk. We don’t want him to make a mess or hurt himself.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Dirty Jobs


cjones04152019

This is a bonus cartoon. That means you’re not going to get a real blog but you’ll still get a new cartoon Thursday morning. And, if you think this cartoon is disgusting…that’s because it is.

What do porn theater mop boy and Trump cabinet position have in common? Mike Rowe never did a show on either.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Taxpayer-Financed Slush Fund


cjones04192018

The tax filing deadline has been extended to April 17, this Tuesday. If you’re a rational and sensible person, this means nothing to you as you have already filed. If you’re like me, you’ll be doing your taxes on Tuesday.

Patriots pay their taxes. A Republican’s idea of a patriot is a billionaire who finds ways around the system to pay as little as possible. Other Republican patriots are those who use taxpayer money as their own personal slush fund. Not only is the Trump cabinet full of these people, but Trump himself doesn’t mind spending our money on his personal frivolity.

EPA chief Scott Pruitt loves to use our money to fly first class, on military flights, and heightened personal security. The man has a higher security detail than any previous EPA chief before him, and he has traveled to locations he didn’t really need to, such as his home in Tulsa and Morocco to shill for American oil companies. He also attempted to give huge pay raises to a couple of buddies in his department over the objections of the White House.

HUD chief Ben Carson spent $30,000 on a dining room set for his office. His excuse was that the old set was dangerous as it was liable to fall apart if you sat on it and there were rusty nails sticking out. Who knew that entering the office of the HUD Secretary would require a tetanus shot?

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin spent over $1 million on eight flights. One of those was for a trip he took his snooty wife on to see the solar eclipse in Kentucky. You remember her. She’s the one who got into a tiff with a constituent who criticized her for boasting about her expensive name-brand clothing. You probably saw the pic of her holding a sheet of money with Stevie where she’s clad in all black. You’d be forgiven for mistaking them for Bond villains if they had any charm.

When Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke isn’t plotting to turn government monuments into oil fields, he enjoys taking charter flights, financed by you, to the Virgin Islands, Las Vegas and his home in Montana. One of those flights from Vegas to his home cost nearly $13,000. By the way, the Interior Department spent $139,000 to upgrade three sets of double-doors in his office.

David Shulkin was fired as head of the Veterans Administration for his scandals which seem far less than the ones being committed by Pruitt. Shulkin took his wife on a taxpayer-financed trip to Europe where they toured castles and attended Wimbledon.

Then we have the president himself. Trump plays a lot of golf despite telling us he wouldn’t have time for golf. It appears he doesn’t have time for much of anything else except for tweeting. Trump spends most weekends at one of his many resorts and while there, we foot the bill. The press and Freedom of Information groups are having a difficult time finding out how much Trump makes off us during his trips. But, we do know that one night at Mar-a-Lago can cost over $500 which has been spent on government employees.

Of course, we have to pay to protect the president, but we pay this president to protect the president. Donald Trump charges the Secret Service rent at his facilities and even charges them for golf cart rentals. It’s no wonder he leaves the White House so much. He can’t charge anyone rent for staying there.

Trump is about to spend the entire week at Mar-a-Lago which will turn a pretty penny for him. He is literally making money off being president. For the second time, he’ll be hosting the Prime Minister of Japan at the resort, so he’s also making money off our allies’ taxpayers.

So, make sure you don’t just file your taxes on time, but that you get your check in the mail too. I mean, it’s not like Donald Trump’s going to pay for his golf outings.

Creative notes: This cartoon is dated for April 19, which is two days after the tax deadline. People will probably still be feeling the pain at that time. But, I tell my clients the cartoons are not embargoed by the file date, which means they can run them at any time.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Praise For Dear Leader


cjones06152017

You wonder why Trump and his sycophants can’t see how ridiculous it looks that they turned their cabinet meeting into a praise and worship session for Donald Trump, but then you look at his hair. No, he doesn’t know when he looks ridiculous. I half expect him to walk out of the White House one day wearing spandex pants with “Juicy” on the butt.

Donald Trump issued a denial that he demanded James Comey pledge his loyalty, then his cabinet conducts an ass-kissing parade. A man who paints himself orange won’t be able to see how that appears. He probably won’t be able to read how it will look if he fires Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Every idiot who works for Trump, other than Defense Secretary James Mattis who hasn’t sacrificed every shred of dignity…yet, heaped praise on The Donald Monday during the first cabinet meeting attended by every member. It’s a daily routine for Vice-President Mike Pence who can’t give a speech without repeating the phrase “under the leadership of President Trump” at least 17 times. Pence probably oozes the fake praise in his sleep.

But if it seemed creepy and gross that the entire cabinet sat in a circle jerk for the prez, that’s because it is. It resembles the regime of North Korea, or a scene from Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles when his cabinet “harumphs” to one of his rants and Brooks, as the GOV, says “I didn’t get a ‘harumph’ out of that guy.”

The booty kissing started with Pence who said “The greatest privilege of my life is to serve as vice president to the president who’s keeping his word to the American people.” I wonder which word that was. Bigly? Yuge? Covfefe?

It was followed by Attorney General Jeff Sessions (who could be gone any day now and back in his tree making cookies) telling his Dear Leader it was an “honor” to serve him. At least when Monica served Bill Clinton, they shut the door.

Alexander Acosta, Secretary of Labor said “I am privileged to be here — deeply honored — and I want to thank you for your commitment to the American workers.” Are you feeling sick yet? Wait. There’s more!

Sonny Perdue, Secretary of Agriculture, just returned from Mississippi and told Trump how much they love him there.

Perhaps the most nauseating praise came from Chief of Staff Reince Priebus who might have confused Trump with God when he said “We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing to serve your agenda.” Pass the crackers and wine and let’s all hail Trump.

OK, I’m too nauseous to post the rest, but they all praised his integrity, his message, his strength, his policies, his blah blah blah, ugh. Trump nodded approvingly and if you watch a video of it, you’ll see his huge smile. It’s like a child at a birthday party, except this is a 70-year-old man-baby with nuclear weapons.

If nearly every cabinet member heaping praise on Trump wasn’t enough flattery, Trump followed suit by praising himself, which is not unique. It would be unique if he didn’t praise himself. Trump declared himself one of the most productive presidents in American history — perhaps Franklin D. Roosevelt could come close, he conceded — and proclaimed that he had led a “record-setting pace” of accomplishment. That may be true as he could be the president who’s impeached the quickest.

This sort of stuff never happened under other presidents’ cabinet meetings. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer mocked the meeting with a video of his own, which must have trolled the entire Trump administration. I wonder if any cabinet member did any dry heaving afterward.

Weird, crazy, confused, and mentally-dysfunctional former professional basketball player Dennis Rodman is in North Korea, again, where he’s probably giving Kim Jong Un plenty of “harumphs.” Rodman could be carrying a message for Kim from Trump. That’s great. Donald Trump has put the hope that there will not be a nuclear war in the hands of Dennis Rodman.

As for anyone in the Trump administration who doesn’t massage the man-baby’s ego, they better watch their ass.

What I will find very ironic is if Donald Trump, who is not smart or good enough, loses the presidency to Stuart Smalley.

Creative note: I asked a friend for her input on the “exfoliate” thing. I didn’t know if it was “foliate” or “exfoliate.” I figured she would know for sure since she has skin.

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Bearly Confirmed


cjones02082017

Betsy DeVos had a terrible performance during the Senate hearings on her way to confirmation as secretary of education. It’s a good thing she’s donated over $200 million to Republican causes and candidates, including many of the senators who voted for her. Even her defense of guns in schools to protect against bears didn’t hurt her among Republicans.

DeVos is a major backer of charter schools and vouchers. Even some charter school groups opposed her nomination. She exhibited a vast ignorance of how public education works. A lot of Republicans defend her selection by saying public schools have been messed up for years, so a new type of leader is in order. Many others say the department isn’t even important, so why care who leads it? Anyone who believes that shouldn’t be an influence on education of any kind.

Democrats staged an all-night vigil Monday to delay the vote on DeVos in hopes of collecting a third Republican to vote against her. They had two members from across the aisle, Susan Collins of Maine and Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, but only after they were sure they wouldn’t be the defectors to kill DeVos’ confirmation.

Republicans are afraid of being on the wrath-end of a Trump tweet. That fear, and DeVos’ campaign contributions, assured a tie vote in the Senate. Vice President Mike Pence cast the tie-breaking vote, the first time ever for a cabinet confirmation.

In the past DeVos has stated that government “sucks” and that public schools are a “dead end.” It seems DeVos now has the opportunity to make those statements true.

Children will be safer with the bears.

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