Trump Cabinet

Taxpayer-Financed Slush Fund


cjones04192018

The tax filing deadline has been extended to April 17, this Tuesday. If you’re a rational and sensible person, this means nothing to you as you have already filed. If you’re like me, you’ll be doing your taxes on Tuesday.

Patriots pay their taxes. A Republican’s idea of a patriot is a billionaire who finds ways around the system to pay as little as possible. Other Republican patriots are those who use taxpayer money as their own personal slush fund. Not only is the Trump cabinet full of these people, but Trump himself doesn’t mind spending our money on his personal frivolity.

EPA chief Scott Pruitt loves to use our money to fly first class, on military flights, and heightened personal security. The man has a higher security detail than any previous EPA chief before him, and he has traveled to locations he didn’t really need to, such as his home in Tulsa and Morocco to shill for American oil companies. He also attempted to give huge pay raises to a couple of buddies in his department over the objections of the White House.

HUD chief Ben Carson spent $30,000 on a dining room set for his office. His excuse was that the old set was dangerous as it was liable to fall apart if you sat on it and there were rusty nails sticking out. Who knew that entering the office of the HUD Secretary would require a tetanus shot?

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin spent over $1 million on eight flights. One of those was for a trip he took his snooty wife on to see the solar eclipse in Kentucky. You remember her. She’s the one who got into a tiff with a constituent who criticized her for boasting about her expensive name-brand clothing. You probably saw the pic of her holding a sheet of money with Stevie where she’s clad in all black. You’d be forgiven for mistaking them for Bond villains if they had any charm.

When Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke isn’t plotting to turn government monuments into oil fields, he enjoys taking charter flights, financed by you, to the Virgin Islands, Las Vegas and his home in Montana. One of those flights from Vegas to his home cost nearly $13,000. By the way, the Interior Department spent $139,000 to upgrade three sets of double-doors in his office.

David Shulkin was fired as head of the Veterans Administration for his scandals which seem far less than the ones being committed by Pruitt. Shulkin took his wife on a taxpayer-financed trip to Europe where they toured castles and attended Wimbledon.

Then we have the president himself. Trump plays a lot of golf despite telling us he wouldn’t have time for golf. It appears he doesn’t have time for much of anything else except for tweeting. Trump spends most weekends at one of his many resorts and while there, we foot the bill. The press and Freedom of Information groups are having a difficult time finding out how much Trump makes off us during his trips. But, we do know that one night at Mar-a-Lago can cost over $500 which has been spent on government employees.

Of course, we have to pay to protect the president, but we pay this president to protect the president. Donald Trump charges the Secret Service rent at his facilities and even charges them for golf cart rentals. It’s no wonder he leaves the White House so much. He can’t charge anyone rent for staying there.

Trump is about to spend the entire week at Mar-a-Lago which will turn a pretty penny for him. He is literally making money off being president. For the second time, he’ll be hosting the Prime Minister of Japan at the resort, so he’s also making money off our allies’ taxpayers.

So, make sure you don’t just file your taxes on time, but that you get your check in the mail too. I mean, it’s not like Donald Trump’s going to pay for his golf outings.

Creative notes: This cartoon is dated for April 19, which is two days after the tax deadline. People will probably still be feeling the pain at that time. But, I tell my clients the cartoons are not embargoed by the file date, which means they can run them at any time.

Here’s the video.

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Praise For Dear Leader


cjones06152017

You wonder why Trump and his sycophants can’t see how ridiculous it looks that they turned their cabinet meeting into a praise and worship session for Donald Trump, but then you look at his hair. No, he doesn’t know when he looks ridiculous. I half expect him to walk out of the White House one day wearing spandex pants with “Juicy” on the butt.

Donald Trump issued a denial that he demanded James Comey pledge his loyalty, then his cabinet conducts an ass-kissing parade. A man who paints himself orange won’t be able to see how that appears. He probably won’t be able to read how it will look if he fires Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Every idiot who works for Trump, other than Defense Secretary James Mattis who hasn’t sacrificed every shred of dignity…yet, heaped praise on The Donald Monday during the first cabinet meeting attended by every member. It’s a daily routine for Vice-President Mike Pence who can’t give a speech without repeating the phrase “under the leadership of President Trump” at least 17 times. Pence probably oozes the fake praise in his sleep.

But if it seemed creepy and gross that the entire cabinet sat in a circle jerk for the prez, that’s because it is. It resembles the regime of North Korea, or a scene from Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles when his cabinet “harumphs” to one of his rants and Brooks, as the GOV, says “I didn’t get a ‘harumph’ out of that guy.”

The booty kissing started with Pence who said “The greatest privilege of my life is to serve as vice president to the president who’s keeping his word to the American people.” I wonder which word that was. Bigly? Yuge? Covfefe?

It was followed by Attorney General Jeff Sessions (who could be gone any day now and back in his tree making cookies) telling his Dear Leader it was an “honor” to serve him. At least when Monica served Bill Clinton, they shut the door.

Alexander Acosta, Secretary of Labor said “I am privileged to be here — deeply honored — and I want to thank you for your commitment to the American workers.” Are you feeling sick yet? Wait. There’s more!

Sonny Perdue, Secretary of Agriculture, just returned from Mississippi and told Trump how much they love him there.

Perhaps the most nauseating praise came from Chief of Staff Reince Priebus who might have confused Trump with God when he said “We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing to serve your agenda.” Pass the crackers and wine and let’s all hail Trump.

OK, I’m too nauseous to post the rest, but they all praised his integrity, his message, his strength, his policies, his blah blah blah, ugh. Trump nodded approvingly and if you watch a video of it, you’ll see his huge smile. It’s like a child at a birthday party, except this is a 70-year-old man-baby with nuclear weapons.

If nearly every cabinet member heaping praise on Trump wasn’t enough flattery, Trump followed suit by praising himself, which is not unique. It would be unique if he didn’t praise himself. Trump declared himself one of the most productive presidents in American history — perhaps Franklin D. Roosevelt could come close, he conceded — and proclaimed that he had led a “record-setting pace” of accomplishment. That may be true as he could be the president who’s impeached the quickest.

This sort of stuff never happened under other presidents’ cabinet meetings. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer mocked the meeting with a video of his own, which must have trolled the entire Trump administration. I wonder if any cabinet member did any dry heaving afterward.

Weird, crazy, confused, and mentally-dysfunctional former professional basketball player Dennis Rodman is in North Korea, again, where he’s probably giving Kim Jong Un plenty of “harumphs.” Rodman could be carrying a message for Kim from Trump. That’s great. Donald Trump has put the hope that there will not be a nuclear war in the hands of Dennis Rodman.

As for anyone in the Trump administration who doesn’t massage the man-baby’s ego, they better watch their ass.

What I will find very ironic is if Donald Trump, who is not smart or good enough, loses the presidency to Stuart Smalley.

Creative note: I asked a friend for her input on the “exfoliate” thing. I didn’t know if it was “foliate” or “exfoliate.” I figured she would know for sure since she has skin.

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Bearly Confirmed


cjones02082017

Betsy DeVos had a terrible performance during the Senate hearings on her way to confirmation as secretary of education. It’s a good thing she’s donated over $200 million to Republican causes and candidates, including many of the senators who voted for her. Even her defense of guns in schools to protect against bears didn’t hurt her among Republicans.

DeVos is a major backer of charter schools and vouchers. Even some charter school groups opposed her nomination. She exhibited a vast ignorance of how public education works. A lot of Republicans defend her selection by saying public schools have been messed up for years, so a new type of leader is in order. Many others say the department isn’t even important, so why care who leads it? Anyone who believes that shouldn’t be an influence on education of any kind.

Democrats staged an all-night vigil Monday to delay the vote on DeVos in hopes of collecting a third Republican to vote against her. They had two members from across the aisle, Susan Collins of Maine and Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, but only after they were sure they wouldn’t be the defectors to kill DeVos’ confirmation.

Republicans are afraid of being on the wrath-end of a Trump tweet. That fear, and DeVos’ campaign contributions, assured a tie vote in the Senate. Vice President Mike Pence cast the tie-breaking vote, the first time ever for a cabinet confirmation.

In the past DeVos has stated that government “sucks” and that public schools are a “dead end.” It seems DeVos now has the opportunity to make those statements true.

Children will be safer with the bears.

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A Whiter White House


cjones11182016

After appointing white nationalist Steve Bannon as his chief strategist Donald Trump has decided to name Islamophobe Lt. General Michael Flynn as his foreign policy adviser.

You would think a guy with the temperament of Donald Trump would seek a calmer, smoother individual for this position, but no. He’s selected a guy who led chants of “lock her up” at the Republican National Convention. Flynn was referring to Hillary Clinton risking the exposure of classified material supposedly stored on her private server, despite the fact that he himself revealed sensitive U.S. intelligence to Pakistan. He’s also a big fan of Russia and Vladimir Putin having dined with him after giving a paid speech. Apparently we can’t have too many racists or people paid by Russians in the White House.

Flynn is also a lobbyist for Turkey. He’s even called for a Turkish cleric to be returned to that nation who their president blames for their recent coup attempt. Never mind seeking evidence or the fact Turkey is clamping down on dissidents, journalists, and anyone else considered a threat.

Flynn does not distinguish Islamic terrorists from followers of the religion in general. He’s called for a ban of Muslim immigrants and likes to retweet anti-Semitic material. Last July he retweeted a message of “Not anymore, Jews. Not anymore,” for which he later apologized. How do you mistakenly retweet that? He’s also praised and plugged a book for a man who claimed “date rape does not exist.”

He also fell for a fake news story (that stuff is really popular with Republicans) that the New York Police Department was “blowing the whistle” on Hillary Clinton for new emails, money laundering, sex crimes with children, pay to play, and perjury. You’re not surprised when your attic-dwelling uncle with the tin-foil helmet falls for such outlandish headlines, but a general? After listening to Queen he’s now convinced “fat-bottomed girls do make the world go round” and it’s a threat to our nation. I made that last one up. Fat-bottomed girls are not a threat to our nation.

David Duke lost in his bid to become Louisiana’s next U.S. senator and Trump’s not done filling his cabinet. The wizard’s available.

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Blind Trust


cjones11172016

One of my newspaper clients is the New York Observer. They have been with me for a while and have been a very good client. They communicate with me occasionally, they don’t badger about my subjects, and they pay their bill. I really hate to call them out but they’re owned by Jared Kushner. Mr. Kushner is Donald Trump’s son-in-law. In case you haven’t noticed yet, I have drawn a few cartoons on Mr. Kushner’s dad-in-law, the next president of the United States. In addition to Mr. Kushner their editor once wrote a book and campaign speeches with Rudy Giuliani, potentially our next Secretary of State.

I’ve read a few columns in the Observer critical of Trump, though I doubt they’re going to run my cartoons of their owner’s in-laws and the owner himself. We’ll see. But this issue may be recurring if Mr. Kushner ends up working in the White House.

Most politicians put all their finances into a blind trust upon being elected to office. Donald Trump says he will do the same and have his children, Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Jr., run his corporation. That is not a blind trust.

In fact, there really isn’t such a thing as a blind trust as anyone at anytime can bark at whoever’s handling their finances to find out what’s going on with their money. But politicians hand off all their investments to someone else to at least give the impression that they’re not profiting financially with their office as if they’re the governor of Louisiana or New Jersey.

Trump handing off his company to his children is the same as you letting your kid drive your car. Occasionally you’re going to know what’s going on with your car and eventually find out what that disgusting stain is in the backseat. This gets a little more complicated since we don’t know anything about Trump’s investments. Does he have holdings in Turkey, Russia, or Yemen? Does he owe any of these entities money? So how much is Donald separated from his business when his daughter is running it and her husband, my client, is working alongside him in the White House advising him how best to round up Muslims and Mexicans?

In addition, Kushner has been accused of using his position with Trump to oust his political enemies from the transition team. New Jersey governor Chris Christie was leading the transition team but in years past he sent Kushner’s father to prison. I guess when someone puts your father in prison you might feel some sort of way about that. Christie is no longer leading that team. I guess he burned that bridge (sorry. I couldn’t help myself).

Can you imagine the outcry if Hillary Clinton had engaged in such nepotism?

On top of all this how are we supposed to trust Trump with transparency when he’s sneaking out in the middle of the night without alerting the press pool so he can go to a steak house? Is he afraid they’ll mock him for ordering it extra well done with ketchup?

Rudy Giuliani is apparently the front runner to become Secretary of State. Giuliani has earned millions working for foreign governments and even gave a speech to an Iranian group on the State Department’s list of terrorist organizations. Can you imagine the outcry if Hillary Clinton had paid chats with terrorist organizations?

Looking at how Trump is stocking his office with creatures from the swamp he wants to drain, appointing a white nationalist as his chief strategist, inserting Rudy into the State Department, and giving his family security clearance, I have a not-so-bold prediction. Trump’s administration is going to rival those of Nixon, Reagan, Grant, and Harding, as the most corrupt ever.

And you never know. When Trump cracks down on the media who’s to say Kushner won’t mention the cartoonist who keeps giving his boss “booty lips?”

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!