SOTU

Trump Tax Scam


cjones02132019

If you voted for Donald Trump and you’re paying more in taxes this year than you did under Obama, it’s because you voted for Donald Trump. Welcome to MAGA.

Donald Trump’s biggest achievement in the two years since he started destroying America was giving himself a massive tax cut. It wasn’t a wall on our southern border paid for by Mexico. It wasn’t repealing Obamacare. It wasn’t even “locking her up.” It was giving himself a tax cut.

Trump claimed that the tax cut wouldn’t benefit him at all. Of course, like all things Trump has ever said, that was a lie. We knew it was a lie when he said it but that didn’t stop him from repeating it again and again. It didn’t stop Trump sycophants from saying “it won’t benefit him because he said so.” Tax experts estimate that Trump will personally save $15 million a year from these tax cuts. Jared Kushner will save around $12 million. Several members of his cabinet are expected to save $4.5 million each, including Betsy DeVos, Linda McMahon, Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, and Wilbur Ross, all rich assholes.

When I mentioned tax experts, I wasn’t talking about Ivanka Trump. When the tax legislation was being debated in late 2017, Ivanka went out and told everyone how they’ll see the gains in April 2018 and also be able to file their taxes on a postcard.

Ivanka Trump, Daddy’s little princess, has obviously never ever, ever, ever filed her own taxes in her entire ain’t-you-special sweet little life. You don’t need to be a tax expert to know that the taxes you file are for the previous year. Hence, 2018 filings would be for 2017. The tax cuts for assholes bill passed in December 2017 (in case you’re a Republican, December is the last month of the year. It’s when you’re hearing all that Christmas music and eating all that ham). That means none of it would affect you until 2018. Thus, if you’re a Trump supporter, you won’t be horrified until you start filing in 2019, and most likely NOT on a postcard.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, horrified is exactly how many Trump supporters are reacting. Many have already filed their taxes to discover they’re actually paying back now when under Obama, they got refunds. My own horror won’t happen until April 14th, because I procrastinate with everything.

The thing is the Republicans removed a lot of deductions, like for state and local taxes for people like you and me. Why? Because they don’t care about people like you and me. If you’re a Trump supporter, you’re probably not a rich asshole. You’re just a regular asshole…who’s going to be paying more in taxes now.

A lot of MAGA hat shitheads went on Twitter to express their dismay and outrage. Who could have predicted that voting for a rich, selfish, narcissistic asshole would only work out for rich, selfish, narcissistic assholes? For Trump to win them back, he’s going to have to do something extra racist. How about a talking border wall that screams racial epithets? “Well, I’m paying $4,000 more in taxes now, but the wall’s gonna scream ‘beaner,’ so I’m good. Trump 2020!”

In case racial insults don’t make the pain go away from paying these taxes, there are always payday loans, which Trump and the Republican Congress also removed restrictions from, so predatory lending can be even easier now.

In 2009 during his State of the Union address, President Obama was talking about healthcare reform and that it wouldn’t insure people in the nation illegally. It was kinda stupid that he even had to debunk a ridiculous right-wing rumor. Nevertheless, Republican Joe Wilson shouted, “You lie!” Of course, the only liar was Joe Wilson, who is still in Congress…lying about shit.

That’s exactly how Republicans are. They scream “liar” at the guy telling the truth and trying to help Americans and applaud and worship the lying fucker who’s fucking them over.

That’s MAGA.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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SOTU STFU


cjones02102019

Donald Trump is not a history buff. But “buff” is not a word usually associated with Trump. If Trump even had a cursory knowledge of history, or at least of the office he holds, he’d stop channeling Richard Nixon.

Out of the 44 presidents before him, Nixon is the one president Trump should bone up on the most, and not the fellow racist president currently overlooking the Resolute Desk.

Trump has channeled Nixon by claiming it’s not illegal if he does it. His “no collusion” and witch hunt” lines mimic Nixon’s “I am not a crook.” At last night’s State of the Union, he did the Nixon when he said, “If there is going to be peace and legislation, there cannot be war and investigation. It just doesn’t work that way!” During the 1974 State of the Union, Nixon said before Congress, “I believe the time has come to bring that investigation and the other investigations of this matter to an end. One year of Watergate is enough.”

But, Trump is an idiot. He thought the women in Congress wearing white were applauding him when he commented on the high number of women in the workforce and the largest female body in the history of Congress. He didn’t realize they were applauding themselves…and mocking him. It’s the nation’s reaction to Trump’s racist, hateful, and stupid policies and actions that sent the largest female delegation in history to Congress.

Trump is wrong about “how it works.” While it is distracting, the multiple investigations into Trump’s crime syndicate do not prevent the government from doing business. Trump shutting down the government is what prevents it from working.

With the Trump organization, the Trump Campaign, and even the Trump Inaugural Committee under investigation, part of the government’s business is investigating Trump. When the nation elects a crook, it’s up to the nation to root out the corruption.

We can’t refuse to look into crimes because it bothers a corrupt president. It’s not the nation’s fault that a con man is currently in the White House. It was a minority of voters and Russian interference that placed him there as the majority of American voters opted for Hillary Clinton.

Nixon said, “One year of Watergate is enough.” I say two years of this corrupt, racist, stupid, inept administration is too many.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Shutdown Sufferers


cjones01282019

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has officially canceled Donald Trump giving a State of the Union address before Congress. She sent a letter using language Trump can understand. Reportedly, it said “nyet.”

Trump intends to continue the government shutdown indefinitely as the White House is doing a study on how much damage will be inflicted on specific programs if it continues into March. We’re not even into February yet.

Trump believes the polls will shift in his direction and the public will turn their blame and anger on the Democrats for the shutdown, despite his boast of owning it before it started. I’m not sure the public will blame the Democrats, as Trump’s poll numbers have sunk to 34% and Pelosi is right under 50%.

Keep in mind, after over a decade of Republicans gaslighting the public and casting the Speaker as the Devil incarnate from liberal San Francisco, her numbers are always low…and now she’s scoring higher than Trump. If Trump is at 34%, then where’s flaming bags of dog shit, 35%?

Trump says Pelosi is afraid of hearing the truth during the State of the Union, says the guy afraid of Michael Cohen testifying. If he was to speak the truth, I don’t think any Democrat would be afraid of hearing him say, “Thanks to me, the state of our union is a flaming bag of dog shit.”

The state of our union is a burning bag of crap because this is what happens when you elect an incompetent, stupid, idiotic, narcissist who doesn’t just put his personal interests before the nation, but also his fragile thin ego.  This idiot couldn’t get funding for his racist, medieval vanity project from Republicans, so now he’s demanding it from Democrats. And the bigger idiots, the people who voted for him, have forgotten they were promised Mexico is going to pay for the wall, and they’re now upset that Democrats won’t force them to pay for it.

Trump claims he can relate to the 800,000 federal workers who have been affected by the shutdown and are about miss their second paycheck, thus being unable to pay their bills with many facing evictions. They have larger problems to deal with than not being able to give a speech where they want.

The empathy runs through the Trump family, as Lara Trump, wife of idiot son number two, said the shutdown is a “little bit of pain” for federal workers, but future generations will “thank” them “for their sacrifice.”

I believe encouragement to “hang in there” from ivory towers will fall on deaf ears of those out on the street. Nowhere on those lists of part time jobs issued by federal agencies for furloughed workers did I see “marry rich asshole.”

Donald Trump gave in to Pelosi on the State of the Union, announcing his surrender last night on Twitter. My hope is he develops a taste for having his ass handed to him by a woman who is much smarter and more talented than he is. He’s not in Pelosi’s league.

Trump isn’t used to being told no by anyone. Perhaps hearing it now and learning to lose over stupid problems he created will teach him to accept losing in the future. Even though losing the shutdown fight will prove to everyone that Trump manufactured the crisis and wasted everyone’s time over his ego, he needs to go ahead and lose for the benefit of the nation. There are bigger problems in this nation than Trump’s bruised ego.

Hopefully, Donald Trump accepts with dignity losing in 2020, quite possibly having his ass handed to him again by a woman, but then again…I couldn’t give a flaming bag of dog shit how he feels about it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Cork In The Union


cjones01232019

Cartoonist note: If you heard the analogy in this cartoon before, it’s because I tweeted and facebooked it yesterday.

In case you haven’t noticed by now, Donald Trump is a man-baby who doesn’t just need approval (why doesn’t The New York Times like him?), he craves adoration. Every cabinet meeting begins with genuflection and the entire room surrendering their dignity.

So, the yearly State of the Union speech before both houses of Congress where the entire room applauds when you walk in and your arrival is announced as if you’re Elvis is like a day of cake, ice cream, Time Magazine covers, and hamberders to Donald Trump. Taking that away from Trump would be a dagger to his ultra-thin whiny ego. That’s exactly where House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stuck it.

Citing security concerns during the Trump shutdown, Pelosi suggested that Trump postpones or cancel his speech until the government reopens. It makes sense as the speech usually starts about how strong our union is. Naturally, Donald Trump wouldn’t want to lie during a government shutdown…oh yeah. This is Donald Trump.

There is no requirement for the president to deliver his speech in person. It’s more of a tradition, like the president saluting members of the military or releasing his taxes. The requirement in the Constitution is that the president “shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.” It doesn’t even say he has to do it annually (if you’re a Republican, “annually” means once a year). The tradition of delivering it in person was started by President Woodrow Wilson in 1913, which is something Trump probably does not know. It wasn’t even referred to as the “State of the Union” until 1934 when President Franklin Delano Roosevelt used the term.

President George Washington (if you’re a Republican, that’s our first president), did deliver his speech in person, but President Thomas Jefferson ended that, considering it too “monarchical” (if you’re a Republican, that means all king-like and prancy). Every president since Wilson has given it in person at least once except Herbert Hoover (Edit: I messed up and wrote that Hoover was Wilson’s “predecessor” intending to write immediate “successor,” and I even got that wrong. Hoover was two presidents after Wilson. I messed up). The last president to deliver it by letter was President Jimmy Carter in his last year, after being defeated by Ronald Reagan.

A lot of Republicans were angered by Pelosi’s move, because it was brilliant. Until now, the only way Trump could relate to the suffering of government employees not receiving paychecks to pay their bills, feed their families, pay daycare, put gas in their cars, etc., was that he hasn’t been able to go to his swanky, private golf resort in Florida, play golf, let wedding guests pose with the nuclear football, and bilk the government for his stay. He reminds us of this almost daily since the shutdown began. Oh, the suffering. Pelosi just took away the one thing he could look forward to, other than all those hamberders.

Now, Trump has struck back. He grounded military flights for Pelosi and other members of Congress, minutes before they were to leave on a secret trip to visit troops in Afghanistan. On the same day, he allowed a military plane to fly First Lady Melania to that snobby golf resort.

Trump’s move, coming just a day after Pelosi suggested he not give the State of the Union, is petty. Pelosi’s move can actually make Trump more eager to end the shutdown since low approval numbers and starving federal workers aren’t making an impression. It was also negligent since the trip was secret and has put service members in danger that will be transporting and protecting the delegation. It also cost thousands of dollars to cancel it on such an abrupt notice.

Trump, being the petty child that he is, wrote in his letter that Pelosi was free to make her trip on a commercial flight. How nice of him to suggest the second person in line to the presidency take a commercial flight while air traffic controllers aren’t being paid and after he declassified the mission. But then again, Trump doesn’t care about endangering American lives as his “ISIS is dead” comment only triggered the terrorist organization to kill four Americans this week.

I have a suggestion to Trump. Since Pelosi can’t make the trip (and he did visit Iraq during this shutdown without flying commercial), and he hasn’t been to Afghanistan in the two years he’s been president (Obama went four times), he should take her place. He should just be sure to announce publicly when and where he’s going.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

State Of The Uniom


cjones02022018

With all that’s transpired over the past year, I’m surprised the State of the Union typo didn’t read “State of the Onion.”

What I’m going for with this cartoon is to show not just how surreal it is that Trump is president of the United States and addressing Congress, but how stupid it is. Within the last week alone he attacked a rapper on Twitter. How presidential.

His speech didn’t start off that bad for a 71-year-old man with a fourth grade reading level. It was the third-longest State of the Union ever, though it wasn’t because it contained a lot of words. Stupid people read very slowly. But, it can be considered a success because he stuck to the teleprompter, didn’t praise Nazis, and his teeth didn’t fall out. That’s a good day in Trumplandia.

Trump went for the cheap pops. America, troops, jobs, heroes, flag, blah, blah, blah. Every Republican was smiling except for Melania. I wonder why.

Trump bragged about the economy, jobs, and the stock market. He basically took credit for Obama’s accomplishments. Two things he did not mention was Carrier and Russian collusion. I wonder why.

Trump’s wolf whistle of the night was when he said, “My duty, and the sacred duty of every elected official in this chamber is to defend Americans, to protect their safety, their families, their communities and their right to the American dream, because Americans are dreamers too.” Do you know who loved that line? Richard Spencer and David Duke. They were highlighting it to their racist base. Spencer tweeted it out with a picture of a family that looked like they were from Norway.

But, it is funny he talks about protecting and defending America. He has ignored the attack on our democracy by Russia, their ongoing attack, their upcoming attack in the 2018 elections, and yesterday, he said he will not enact sanctions against Russia that Congress passed nearly unanimously. How’s that for protecting our nation? There has to be a pee tape behind this.

And then he did that thing he always does when he opens his mouth. He started lying.

He said wages were finally rising. Yes, they are rising, but not “finally.” They were rising under Obama and now, they’re rising at a slower pace. I wonder why.

He took credit for increased employment among blacks and Latinos without thanking Obama. He took credit for ISIS losing so much territory, which is a strategy started under Obama.

He boasted that because of the tax cut, Apple will invest $350 billion in America. The truth is, $275 billion of that was simply continuing the company’s past spending trends. The actual amount of new investment is around $37 billion.

He said the auto industry is now expanding and building plants in America. Toyota built a plant in Mississippi in 2011. Thanks to Obama, we still have an auto industry at all. Republicans, who complained about bailing out the auto industry and that it would be a disaster, are now taking credit for its growth.

He bragged about exporting industry, when in fact we import more than we export. He said coal jobs were coming back. If you work in the coal industry, you know that right now you’re probably not working in the coal industry.

He asked Congress for trillions to rebuild American infrastructure, rebuild the military, and build his stupid racist wall on the southern border. This, after he just signed a tax cut that will increase our debt.

Speaking of that tax cut, he claimed it is the biggest in U.S. history. It actually ranks as the 12th largest.

And then he got nasty. He used immigrant gangs to paint all immigrants as criminals, which isn’t the first time he’s done this (murderers and rapists). He claimed immigrants can bring in “virtually unlimited numbers of distant relatives.” That’s a lie. He is proposing to allow the Dreamers to stay if he can end the Visa Lottery system, “chain” migration, and build his stupid racist wall. Trump isn’t just trying to decrease illegal immigration (which has been going down for years), but legal immigration. His and Stephen Miller’s goal is to bring in fewer dark people from “shit hole countries” like Haiti and the entire African continent, and more white people from places like Norway, if we can somehow trick them into coming here (stop sending Stephen Miller out to talk on TV would be a start).

The part that bothered me the most, beyond all the stupidity and lies, was his cloaked, winked, and nudged allusion to firing the Special Prosecutor, the Deputy Attorney General, and perhaps more people in the State Department and FBI. Trump spoke of a proposal that will allow cabinet members (like the Attorney General) to remove government employees who “fail the American people.” Trump believes being caught committing treason and obstruction of justice will “fail the American people.”

I can think of one big orange government employee who is failing the American people.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Party With Nikki


cjones01142016

South Carolina governor Nikki Haley delivered the Republican response to the president’s State of the Union address and a lot of Republicans are livid. To be fair, many Republicans were supportive, but the racist wing of it freaked out.

Haley said the GOP were partly responsible for our nation’s problems. Uh oh! Then she said the party needs to calm down regarding immigration. That’s when everything hit the fan and splattered all over the ceiling. Republicans are still smarting over Haley’s removal of the hate flag from her state capitol’s grounds.

Nikki Haley was born to a Sikh Indian family in South Carolina. Ann Coulter tweeted that Donald Trump should deport her. She’s as American, if not more, than you, Ann. Where ya’ gonna deport her to? And I didn’t realize Trump had deportation authority.

Rush Limbaugh, that jolly pill-popping bastard, said “this is to me one of the greatest bits of evidence that the Republican party is not just anti conservative but it is very much pro elite.” Good news, Rusho. You’re wrong. You’re party is still warm and inviting to racists everywhere. Apparently if you’re not a knuckle-dragging troglodyte you’re an elitist.

Her message was primarily aimed at Donald Trump and to a lesser extent, Ted Cruz. Trump responded that Haley is weak on immigration and that he’s leading the polls in her state.

Ted Cruz didn’t respond to her speech as he was too busy watching Canadian curling.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

State Of The Union Guest


cjones01132016

The capture of ten U.S. sailors by Iran was a huge distraction during Obama’s last State of the Union address.

In reality, a fundamentalist religious extremist was invited. Kim Davis, the gay-hating Kentucky clerk was in attendance. The other conservative religious lunatics in attendance didn’t have to be invited as they’re all Republican members of Congress.

The one hateful zealot who skipped the address was Ted Cruz. He was too busy campaigning for the office he’s disrespecting.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!