Science

Happy Exploding Little Trees


cjones09182020

We do not have invisible airplanes. You can’t stop a hurricane by dropping a nuclear bomb on it. Energy efficient lightbulbs don’t make you appear orange. You can’t catch cancer from windmills. You can’t cure coronavirus by ingesting bleach or fish tank cleaner. Simply raking forests doesn’t prevent wildfires. And trees do not explode.

In 1998, I moved to Fredericksburg Virginia and I enrolled my eight-year-old son into Hugh Mercer Elementary. While driving him to school on his first day, he asked me why it was named “Hugh Mercer.” I told him Hugh Mercer was a great dude who lived in this town over two hundreds years ago. My son asked me what made him great? I said, “Because he did great things” My son asked, “What kind of great things?” Dammit, kid.

I told my son that Hugh Mercer did great things like stop a dinosaur alien invasion hundreds of years ago with a magic sword. He slayed half the dinosaur aliens and the other half flew away in their dinosaur alien space ships, crying all the way until they got to their home world, Dinosauranus. Everyone was so happy, they named an elementary school after him because that’s what you get when you stop a dinosaur alien invasion.

My eight-year-old looked at me the same way he does today at the age of 30. Like I’m an idiot.

That’s exactly how Trump sycophants should look at Donald Trump when he says stupid shit like, “With regard to the forest, when trees fall down after a short period of time, about 18 months, they become very dry, they become really like a match stick and they get up you know there’s no more water pouring through and they become very, very they just explode. They can explode.”

The difference between me selling my kid a load of horse shit and Donald Trump selling a load to his base is that I know I’m selling horse shit. Does Donald Trump know? My son is extremely smart and was even at eight. He also had an imagination and knew I had one too. But, shouldn’t adult Trump supporters be smarter than an eight-year-old?

Do you know how you know when you’re in a cult? When you accept lies as truth…even when you know they’re lies. You’ll also know you’re in a cult when you start defending those lies as truth. I’m sure some Trump cultists are already explaining that trees do indeed explode.

For the record, trees do not explode.

How crazy is it that in the fight to refute climate change, to call it a hoax and a political agenda, that you have to create crazy impossible shit that makes you sound like a dumbass? But then again, Trump is talking to a cult that believes there are deep state lizard people worshiping Satan while eating babies in the basement of a Washington pizza parlor.

If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound? If it explodes and there’s no one around, does that make a sound? If Donald Trump says a bunch of stupid shit and there’s no sycophants there to hear it, is Donald Trump still a dumbass? Yes. He’s still a dumbass.

And please, do not read this to a Trump supporter. I don’t want to have to explain to them there aren’t any dinosaur aliens invading us from the planet Dinosauranus.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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He Blinded Me With Stupid


cjones09172020

Donald Trump is not a person who relies on facts. And a person who doesn’t rely on facts typically doesn’t believe in science. A humble person will admit to what they don’t know and listen to experts. Donald Trump will tell people who have spent their entire lives studying a subject, and without having any knowledge of it himself, tell them they’re wrong. Donald Trump is not a humble person. He doesn’t even know what it is not to know.

While speaking to the governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and other government officials, Trump argued against climate change. After weeks of silence about the wildfires in the western part of the nation, Donald Trump said, “I don’t think science knows what is happening.” Yeah, science is the confused one here.

Donald Trump doesn’t believe in climate change and has claimed it’s a hoax created by China. He’s not good with science…or knowing stuff in general.

After being handed special sunglasses and told not to stare into an eclipse, Donald Trump stared into an eclipse. If it burned out any brain cells, we’ll never notice.

Donald Trump asked about nuking a hurricane. He tried to change the direction of a hurricane with a Sharpie. He ordered government scientists to lie about the direction of a hurricane so it would jive with his mad Sharpie ninja skills.

Donald Trump asked if there was a way to cure people with covid-19 by drinking bleach. He’s touted other bogus remedies.

He thinks our government has invisible airplanes…or maybe we do and that’s another national security secret he exposed.

He thinks liberal lightbulbs make him appear orange…and it’s not his three inches of orange makeup.

He believes windmills cause cancer.

And with wildfires, he believes the lack of raking forests is a bigger cause than climate change.

Sure, we need better management of forests, (most of those being burned right now are on federal property…which Trump heads), but climate change is a very real factor, and science knows it.

Raking the forests doesn’t have anything to do with extreme weather. Having a rake won’t change the direction of the wind. It won’t make the air less dry. Rakes don’t stop hurricanes, droughts, flooding, tornadoes, a even a giant orange cloud smothering our nation.

Donald Trump promises the fires would decrease as it’s about to get cooler. He also promises the coronavirus would magically disappear by Easter. Today, there are nearly 195,000 dead from the virus…the Trump Virus. We can call the wildfires “Trump Fires.”

Joe Biden called Donald Trump a “climate arsonist” yesterday. Donald Trump pulled our nation out of the Paris Climate Accord, so yeah. He’s a climate arsonist.

The most science Donald Trump understands is that he knows he doesn’t want you to sneeze on him. Other than that, Trump doesn’t care if the world burns. Just give him eight more years.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Anti-Greta


cjones03092020

Climate activist Greta Thunberg from Sweden is only 17 years old. That has not stopped conservatives from attacking her. They are attacking and bullying a child for saying something they don’t want to hear. Even the president (sic) of the United States has engaged in bullying her. She’s a child. Now get this: An energy company distributed a sexually graphic image of Greta.

X Site Energy Services from Alberta, Canada initially claimed they were not responsible for the image of a child being sexually attacked. But after it was reported that an employee of the company was handing out the image on stickers, they’ve accepted full responsibility and have apologized. In a statement, the company says, “Oh my God! Who knew that depicting a child being sexually assaulted could burn us? We totally lost our minds in this new era were being cruel and acting like depraved, troglodyte assholes amount to humor and is the new thing for conservatives and climate denialists. Maybe in this era of Trumpism, we got carried away. Also, sorry we lied about it too. Our bad. We’ll try to stop being dicks.”

OK. I made that up. That’s what their statement should have said. It actually said that it’s “committed to recovering and destroying the decals we distributed.” Note that “we” in there. The statement added, “Management (dicks) accepts full responsibility and effective immediately, has made organizational changes to reflect this.” Now, the company is discussing a code of conduct with its employees as it seeks to maintain a “safe and respectful workplace.”

Here’s a free tip for oil companies: If you have to educate your employees that distributing child pornography, with or without your company’s logo on it, is bad, then you’re probably fishing in the wrong talent pool.

Greta visited Alberta last year and Edmonton-based artist Aja Louden painted a mural of her on a wall…which was later defaced with a slur and a pro-oil message.

At least the right-wing, oil-company funded think tank, Heartland Institute, didn’t resort to child porn to attack Great. Nope. They went out and got their own Greta. She’s the anti-Greta.

Her name is Naomi Seibt and she’s from Germany, where people used to goose-step (this is about to come up again, so pay attention). Naomi isn’t just on the same side as the Heartland Institute. She’s being paid by them. The heavy thinkers at Heartland have always been anti-science because they’re a financial tool for fossil fuel companies. Think tanks are businesses set up where billionaires and companies hire them to write their dogma, thus giving the appearance it’s coming from elsewhere and has credibility (and nobody hires me to write anything). Heartland hired Naomi to produce YouTube videos and to be the anti-Greta. It’s not my viewpoint they market her as the anti-Greta. They literally describe her as the anti-Greta.

Naomi is 19 and she said her interest in activism began out of concern about a wave of migration into Germany in recent years (people who aren’t white and Christian). This may come as a big surprise to you but Naomi is white. Last weekend (this will be less of a surprise) she was speaking as CPAC (Conservative Political Asshole Committee) where the Heartland Institute sponsors a bunch of anti-science shit and Donald Trump speaks. At this asshole event, she praised a white nationalist (Nazi).

She praised Canadian alt-right commentator Stefan Molyneux and said his prior racist comments have been taken out of context.

The Southern Poverty Law Center, which monitors hate groups, says Molyneux “amplifies ‘scientific racism,’ eugenics and white supremacism,” has hundreds of thousands of YouTube followers, and “has encouraged thousands of people to adopt his belief in biological determinism, social Darwinism and non-white racial inferiority.” Basically, he’s a Nazi.

I’m kinda getting tired of all these descriptions. Alt-right, white nationalist, Trump supporter, Donald Trump…let’s just call them all Nazis.

Seibt said Molyneux is an “inspiration” for her work. When asked at the conference by a reporter if that still holds true, she said, “I’ve always been skeptical of the ideas of white nationalism, of identitarianism and white identity. However, I am an empiricist, and I could not help but notice that I could have peaceful, free, easy, civilized, and safe discussions in what is essentially an all-white country.” She may as well have started her sentence, “I don’t mean to sound like a racist but…”

She said, “I am still a fan, absolutely.”

Did the Heartland Institute hire a Nazi to be their anti-Greta? Absolutely.

I’m starting to think that Naomi’s concern for immigrants entering her nation doesn’t have anything to do with economics, the climate, or science. She describes herself as an “empiricist,” which is that you can’t have knowledge without experience. That probably means she had a run-in with a brown person that freaked her out (like one cut in line at a movie and she was all like, “Oh, my God, they’re everywhere. They probably have cousins!”). The knowledge I’ve gained from my experience (and I have a few years of that stuff on Naomi) is that nations and societies are richer and much better off with diversity of cultures. I believe in melting pots and I know it’s the greatest strength and asset of our nation.

Seriously, Heartland? You couldn’t find an anti-Greta who’s not a Nazi? Germany is a very progressive nation now and while their alt-right, anti-immigrant movement (Nazis) is loud, they’re small. Yet, somehow, you found a Nazi in present-day Germany. Now, before the CPAC thing is over, you may want to let Naomi go before she goosesteps all over the place…unless you plan to goosestep with her.

Heartland knows that to confront science, then you have to lie. You have to lie a lot. They’ve been doing it for years. In fact, it’s their business model. They’re comfortable with being liars. The question is, are you comfortable with being racist? Actually, it’s probably not your first time.

To sum up, don’t hire people who will distribute child porn with your company’s logo on it (and maybe not any child porn. A conservative might be reading and that should probably be clear). Also, pay attention, Heartland…

…DON’T HIRE NAZIS!

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Goofy Science


cjones09162019

Fake news is not news and fake science is not science. And now, a future administration will have to repair the credibility of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration along with other scientific agencies within the government.

Science used to be non-partisan. But over the last few years, Republicans have made climate change a political issue. Somewhere along the way, facts became liberal. But even previous Republican administrations, while often quarreling with government scientists, did not blatantly try to change scientific fact, like the location of a hurricane.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about facts and he doesn’t put any priority into science. He’s a man who believes climate change is a hoax created by China. He once lied about the rain and claimed it stopped raining when he started a speech when it didn’t. He claimed the noise from windmills cause cancer.

The NOAA hasn’t had a confirmed leader since the Obama administration. On Friday, the NOAA, which oversees the National Weather Service, took the very unusual steps of issuing a statement criticizing one of their own meteorologists for contradicting Donald Trump and issuing an accurate weather report.

The NOAA isn’t backing up Trump to advance hard science, but only to coddle his ego and narcissism. Last week, Donald Trump doctored a weather map with a Sharpie after being criticized for warning Alabama about being impacted by Hurricane Dorian when that state wasn’t in its path. Trump has spent over a week defending a wrong tweet. Most people would say “oops” and move on with their lives. Trump, being a narcissist, can’t admit a little mistake. But now, this little mistake is destroying the credibility of the government’s science agencies.

First, the agency warned its scientists not issue any statements correcting or contradicting Donald Trump. After their bureau in Alabama did just that and Trump lost his shit, the NOAA backed up Trump with an official statement despite provable facts.

This isn’t the first time the Trump administration has ordered its agencies and government employees to contradict facts.

Shortly after lying about having the largest crowd size of any inauguration in U.S. history, Trump ordered the National Park Service to hunt for photographs that would support his claim. They didn’t find any.

Donald Trump created a commission to prove his claim about voter fraud. After the commission failed and disbanded, a member claimed its creation was rooted in Trump’s rage at losing the popular vote to Hillary Clinton.

When Trump claimed Middle Easterners were part of the migrant caravans headed to the border, he tried to get government agencies to support his lie. They failed.

Trump ordered agencies to create an impression that there would be a middle-class tax cut before the midterm elections (even though Congress wasn’t in session), which he had lied about. The tax cuts never happened.

The White House press office issued a doctored video to make CNN reporter Jim Acosta appear physically abusive to a White House aide.

After Trump created a bogus story about migrant women being blindfolded and gagged by drug traffickers, a top border official went on an internal hunt for information to make the story true. He failed.

The Department of Homeland Security released a slick presentation to support Trump’s lie that 4,000 known terrorists were prevented from crossing the border with Mexico.

Donald Trump is inflicting damage to this nation that will take years to repair. Our allies can’t trust us. A new report came out this morning that the CIA snuck a spy out of Moscow out of fear Trump would disclose him to Vladimir Putin. The Justice Department has become a lackey for Trump’s crimes. The entire Republican Party in Congress has become a cult. The State Department has to explain why we can trust promises from Kim Jong Un and the Taliban. The Defense Department has to publicly support losing funding to Trump’s racist, useless border wall. The military has to justify spending money at Trump’s resorts. The White House sends out lackeys to tell us the free press is an enemy to the United States. Now, the government’s science agencies have to sell us debunked science.

The only good thing is that we still have eyes, ears, and logic on our side. Unfortunately for Trump cultists, they’ve been told not to believe what they see and hear and they’re complying.

Maybe you and I can argue over the differences between Pluto and Goofy, but we should all know the difference between being rained on and pissed on.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Trumpanus


cjones06102019

And we thought it was bad that Trump doesn’t understand tariffs, but once again, the dumbest president in the history of presidents of any nation in any galaxy, made a tweet that left the rest of saying, “What the hell?

Donald Trump took to Twitter and scolded NASA for focusing on returning to the moon instead of Mars and stated that the moon is a part of Mars. Seriously.

My girlfriend told me about the tweet last night, shortly after it happened. I had to see it myself because it was so stupid, I thought we may be losing something in translation. I mean, Trump is stupid but there’s no way…yep. He said the moon is a part of Mars. I’m sorry I doubted you, Amanda. The lesson here is, never underestimate the stupidity of Donald Trump.

What was his point? He confused everyone with the tweet before he even got the “moon is Mars” stuff. He’s chiding NASA for focusing on going to the moon AFTER he increased their budget with the agenda of…wait for it…going to the moon.

On May 13, Trump tweeted, “We are going back to the moon.” Last March, NASA administrator Jim Bridenstine, who was appointed by Trump, announced plans to send US astronauts to the moon by 2024.” Last October, Mike Pence, a guy who’s been anal probing Trump with his face for the past two years said, “Our determination is to see Americans back on the moon in the very near future.”

So there’s a huge flip-flop on policy that’s giving NASA and Republicans whiplash. But, the moon is a part of Mars? Did Trump means the budget for going to the moon was the same as Mars…or a part of that budget…or does he believe the moon is actually a part of Mars?

In case you’re a Republican, the moon is much closer to Earth (that’s where we live) than Mars. Most scientists believe the moon was created from another planet slamming into Earth (a very long time, like before Jesus was playing with his pet dinosaurs). And, in case you’re a Trump supporter, the moon is NOT a part of Mars. The moon is 140 million miles from Mars.

Now, someone in the Trump administration who once had high ideals before he or she sold their soul, has to go before the press and argue that the president of the United States, the same one who believes we have invisible airplanes, does not believe the moon is a part of Mars.

Or, that person is going to have to convince the press, and easily Trump’s supporters who chant “space force,” that the moon is a part of Mars, and that the information has been concealed by the Deep State of Obama, Hillary Clinton, James Comey, and Robert Mueller for decades. While we’re at it, the moon landing was fake, the Earth is flat, chemtrails are a real thing, and Pluto is a dog and a planet, and somehow, Donald Trump is qualified to be president.

This is why aliens don’t come here.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Blinding Him With Science


cjones04282017

Republicans don’t really do science. Most of them don’t believe in Climate Change. The frighteningly religious ones believe the planet is only 6,000 years old, give or take a few years. One Republican congressman (Todd Akin) believes a woman’s body will secrete magical juices to prevent it from becoming pregnant if she’s raped. Some, like former U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann, believe vaccines are responsible for mental retardation and others blame it for autism. She also believes in gay-conversion therapy. Some school districts in red states teach creativity over evolution. Chris Christie quarantined a nurse in a plastic tent for three days because she returned from West Africa where she was treating Ebola patients.

One of my favorite moments of a ridiculous Republican denying science was when Senator Jim Inhofe threw a snowball on the floor of the senate. Inhofe was the chair of the Senate Environment Committee.

I believe every Republican who denies science should drink a nice tall glass of Flint tap water.

On Saturday thousands of scientists participated in the March for Science to protest the Trump administration’s policies regarding their field. Trump has a problem with facts in general, but like most Republicans he can’t comprehend science.

Trump thinks Climate Change is a hoax which he blamed on China. He’s questioned the safety of vaccines. He’s put Rick Oops Perry in charge of our nuclear stockpile. He’s proposed an 18% cut for the National Institute of Health, and a 31% cut for the Environmental Protection Agency which is also facing losing a quarter of their 15,000 employees.

Speaking of the EPA, the goober he’s put in charge of that department, Scott Pruitt from Oklahoma (go figure), has sued it in the past over a dozen times, and doesn’t even believe in the environment. He recently stated that carbon emissions caused by human activity don’t have any effect upon the planet.

We can always have hope for our future but the Department of Education is led by Betsy Devos, who is an advocate for charter schools and has no experience with public education and got the job because she’s a major Republican campaign contributor.

Trump should be appreciative of science. There’s no telling how many animals had to suffer to test the products and techniques that enables his hair to still exist and defy gravity.

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Blinded By Science


cjones09242014

 

I got a really cool compliment last week from an editor in Tennessee.  He told me that I didn’t usually run in the pack but when I did I would do something different.  I’ll take that.

There’s going to be a lot of times when I draw a cartoon on the same subject a hundred other cartoonists are also covering.  I saw a bunch of cartoons about the White House fence jumper and some of them were really good.  Most of them were jokes without a message.  I’ll do that from time to time.  Since I saw so many that were just jokes I figured I’d throw something else in there.  Plus, when I draw a cartoon that covers two subjects then I don’t really have to worry about neglecting or over-saturating one of the subjects later.

I found a lot of amusement from the global warming hearing last week in Congress.  Hearing Republicans talk about science, and try to explain science to scientists is comedy writing itself.  One congressman actually talked about how water doesn’t rise when ice melts in a glass of water.  Of course this a party where a lot of members believe the Earth is only 6,000 years old and Jesus walked beside dinosaurs.

I’ve seen a lot of Facebook and Twitter posts about ice forming in the Arctic so that proves global warming isn’t real.  These knuckleheads don’t realize ice forms every winter.  Weather gets colder in Winter.  It also gets warmer in Spring and Summer and thus ice melts again.  I’m sorry if that sounds so elementary but conservatives need it explained…again.

There’s a difference between science and religion.  Science is eventually backed with facts.  Religion is supported by wanting to believe in something despite no amount of evidence supporting it.  Faith is nice.  It can be beautiful.  But it shouldn’t replace facts that affect our environment.

By the way, that editor who complimented me:  He did so while canceling my cartoon service.  He explained I was competing against a service that provides dozen of cartoons on the cheap, and while they weren’t very good they were still cheap.  He also explained I was liberal and his publication was in a red state in a strong military area….and his readers were getting angry at my cartoons.  I know that’s true because I had a few of them come at me on Twitter after his paper ran a few of my cartoons.  It comes with the territory.  I also picked up a few papers this week.  I’ll lose more.  I’ll get more.  I knew this when I fired my syndicate and became my own sales rep, accountant, bookkeeper, billing and on top of that…I gotta draw the cartoons.