RussiaGate

Russian For Transparency


cjones07172017

I’m going to dinner with two of my best friends who are coming in from out of town, and I haven’t seen them in a really long time. So, column will come later.

Update 11:39 A.M., 07/15/2017

Here’s your column:

I expect any day now for Donald Trump to tell us that he’s not a tool of the Russian government and Vladimir Putin, who is actually a nice guy who is misunderstood….unlike that Moose and Squirrel who should die while exiled in Siberia!!!

I don’t know which is dumber. The right wing trolls who believe Natalia Veselnitskaya was a plant by the Democrats, or the Trump team telling us how transparent Donald Trump Jr. has been.

Even if Veselnitskaya was a Democratic plant, Junior still took the meeting. If she was a plant by Bigfoot and B.D. Cooper, he still took the meeting. If she was a plant by the Lollipop Guild and the Wicked Witch of the East, he still took that meeting. He went to the meeting, described beforehand as harmful information on Hillary Clinton from the Russian government. He took that meeting.

When he got the emails saying the Kremlin wanted his daddy to win, the trust-fund baby didn’t reply with, “What? Russia wants my father to win? Why would they want that? He’s a proud American patriot. That’s just crazy? They must have him confused with someone else because daddy Trump is an American first and would never be Putin’s bitch”. No. He replied with “I love it.” It’s like he was going to McDonalds for a Happy Meal. I’m lovin’ it! It’s as if he was already aware that the Kremlin wanted his dad to be president and serve four years with Putin’s hand up his butt controlling his every movement.

Trump defenders argue that Junior didn’t get anything out of the meeting and it was a disappointment. Well if you rob a bank and the safe is empty, that would be disappointing too but you still broke into the bank. And really? Disappointment? Darn. The treason didn’t work out.

The president says a lot of people would have taken that meeting. Yes. A lot of people without ethics with the intent to commit treason, which is how Trump defenders are sounding.

The president and his team also tell us that only Russian adoptions were discussed, as if that’s to ease our concerns. The president is either being dishonest or stupid with that explanation, which in his case can be both. When they mention adoptions what they are really talking about are sanctions. If they had dirt on Hillary Clinton, that’s quid pro quo. They wanted something in return for that. That also further explains why Vladimir Putin wanted Trump elected.

And quite frankly, you’re not transparent when you don’t reveal all the information at once. Junior went on Sean Hannity’s show, who was light on him, and said that there wasn’t any more information about the meeting. He had given it all. Then news is revealed that at least eight people were in that room. You had Junior dumbass, Jared “I want a secret cable from the Russian embassy” Kushner, Paul “let’s make a deal with Russia” Manafort, Ms. Veselnitskaya, a former Soviet intel officer who is now a lobbyist for that government, Rob Goldstone who is the Trump supporting Russia lover who set up the meeting, and two translators. Don’t be surprised if more details come out, like Putin was on the speakerphone.

Here’s the thing, Trump sycophants. I know you love Trump. I know it’s not about policy with you guys. I know you’re willing to lose your health-care coverage for him. I know it’s about the cult of personality, and has nothing to do with capable leadership. I understand you would rather be ruled than governed. But is it all that above patriotism for you? You gotta stop making excuses for traitors, really stupid idiotic traitors at that.

Isn’t it kinda funny that the jerks who spent the past eight years describing themselves as patriots, and accusing Obama of siding with terrorists, are now the ones who are selling out their nation? It’s bizarre that Republicans, the party of Reagan, is now selling us out to the Russians. It’s almost as ironic as the Trump presidency being brought down by an email scandal.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Putin Confirmation


cjones07102017

With as many “they said/he said” situations that Donald Trump gets himself into, you’d think he was on a nighttime soap from the 1980s, not the president of the free world.

He’s had these “did too/did not, did grab/didn’t grab” situations with women. He’s had a “he said/he said” with the former director of the FBI. Now he’s having it with Russian President Vladimir Putin. When did international diplomacy become Mean Girls?

I have three teenage nieces and a day doesn’t go by when one of them doesn’t put a vague post on Facebook (could it get any worse? My life is over! Oh the suffering! You skank, you know who you are!). All three of my nieces together can’t match the attention-seeking-drama of our 71-year-old president. My nieces don’t understand the differences between “their,” “there,” and “they’re,” or “lose” and “loose,” but they still spell better than the president.

The world was shocked that Donald Trump brought up the issue of Russian hacking during his longer than expected chit chat with Vladimir Putin. Rex Tillerson claims Trump brought it up repeatedly. I’m sure that’s true because Trump has brought it up repeatedly with a lot of people. He won’t stop tweeting about it.

After meeting with Trump, Vladimir beat the Americans to the press. Old Vlad said that Trump brought it up and accepted his denial. Rex Tillerson says that’s crazy Russian talk.

I’m sure Putin would manipulate the press, the president, you, me (he never calls. He only hacks), and he’s not above telling a lie. The problem with this situation is, we know Donald Trump lies. Donald Trump lies about shit he doesn’t have to lie about (that’s when someone has a real problem with pathological lying). So who do we believe?

One participant lies to gain leverage. The other lies because he’s a little bitch.

When Trump and Tillerson sat down with Putin and his Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, the Americans diplomatic experience was outgunned by 62 years. He got to chuckle with Putin over their disdain for the press (Why not throw off building? Splat. Problem solved).

Trump and Putin agreed that their countries should not “meddle” in each other’s affairs. That was stupid. Our help with monitoring elections in Russia and support for democracy isn’t the same as Putin hacking into our election, throwing the entire system out of wack, and installing a temperamental, narcissistic man-baby in the White House. It also puts Russia on an equal moral level with us. Trump, you idiot.

After Putin claimed that Trump accepted his denial, he told the press to go ask Trump. That is getting owned. Trump has remained silent. How bizarre is it that the man who kills journalists, gave a quote to journalists, and the supposed leader of the free world has not. It seems both sides have “agreed to disagree.” This is national security, not a debate over reincarnation (Trump was a shit weasel in a previous life).

I didn’t have much faith in Trump’s ability to handle the meeting as he started his day at the G20 in Hamburg, Germany, with nineteen other world leaders, by tweeting about John Podesta and claiming it’s all anyone at the summit was talking about. Trump was giving further cover to Putin’s election hacking by blaming the victim, and this time not really understanding the situation (Trump wondered why Podesta didn’t give the DNC’s server to the CIA, though Podesta wasn’t working for the DNC and the CIA can’t engage in domestic intelligence gathering. Why does a political cartoonist know this stuff better than the president?). And, if everyone’s talking about one thing, we know that one thing isn’t John Podesta. It’s Game Of Thrones (I haven’t watched but I hear good things).

U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley defended Trump by saying “everyone knows Russia meddled in our election.” Not everyone. Your boss doesn’t.

So which of the two liars are we to believe? When Putin says that Trump accepted his denial, we have to believe Putin. Trump has accepted the denial and promoted it for over a year. He refused to believe Russia was involved during the debates. He refused to believe our intelligence sources. He’s refused to believe any investigation. He’s even made up some shit to cast denial over Russia hacking the election.

It’s not hard to believe Trump accepted Putin’s denial. Where there is no denial is that Putin owns Trump, and with that possession, the United States has lost its position as leader of the free world.

Creative Note: I drew this last night and finished up pretty early. As soon as the drawing was done it was time for me to have dinner with some friends. So, I didn’t post the cartoon as I had not written the blog yet. I did mail it to my clients and two of them have already “scooped” me with my own cartoon. Sorry I made you wait.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Lock Him Up


cjones04022017

If you’re a political cartoonist then you have to give Trump credit in one area. He hasn’t hired anyone difficult to caricature. Seriously. These are some freaky looking people.

They’re not just freaky looking. They’re all certified creepers. Michael Flynn ranks up there right below Steve Bannon and Trump himself.

During the campaign, while Flynn wasn’t yakking it up with Russians and taking money from them, he was lambasting Hillary Clinton. He joined the chants of “lock her up” at the neo-Republican rally they called a convention. During an interview with MSNBC’s Chuck Todd Flynn made the statement “When you are given immunity, that means you have probably committed a crime.” Now that he’s asking for immunity himself, he probably knows what he’s talking about. I mean, if we use his own description and guidelines, Flynn wouldn’t be asking for immunity unless he’s down, dirty, and traitorous.

Flynn wants immunity before he’s interviewed by the FBI. His lawyer said he wants to avoid “unfair prosecution” and “he has a story to tell.” I think I know how that story goes. It’s a long story. Flynn took money from Russians and then plotted with them thwart an election. OK, so it’s a short story.

Will he get immunity? It depends on what sort of goods he has and who he has them on. The FBI will want a big fish and a former national security adviser is a pretty big one. Flynn will have to have something on someone bigger. Now who in the Trump administration ranks higher than the national security adviser?

There are two things I expect to happen: Donald Trump is going to start shit-tweeting Michael Flynn and someone from the Trump administration will be “locked up.”

Ya’ll freaky right-wingers might want to be a bit more selective with your rally chants in the future.

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