Rick Perry

A Trumpian Supper

cjones11242019

Yesterday, Gordon Sondland, Ambassador to the European Union, testified that he followed Donald Trump’s orders to pressure Ukraine to announce an investigation into Joe and Hunter Biden and that other top officials knew.

There is no argument that Donald Trump wanted Ukraine to investigate the Bidens and promote the debunked conspiracy theory that it was that nation and not Russia that meddled in the 2016 presidential election. Trump’s request is in the so-called transcript of his call with Ukraine and he’s made public statements wanting China to investigate the Bidens. It’s also a fact that asking a foreign nation to help your political campaign is illegal, even before you get to a “quid pro quo,” bribery or extortion.

Trump’s supporters argue that he’s concerned about corruption in Ukraine and he was concerned about sending tax dollars to a corrupt nation. If he’s concerned about corruption in Ukraine, then why did he ask Ukraine to investigate his political opponent? Wouldn’t Ukraine be too corrupt for that? As for the money, he approved it. It was approved by a bipartisan vote in Congress and signed by Donald Trump. If he was concerned about Ukraine being too corrupt to receive American money, then why did he approve it? The fact is, he was withholding it as bribery. He never asked Ukraine about corruption. He only asked about the Bidens. As it was revealed yesterday, Ukraine knew they hadn’t received the money.

Sondland testified that he followed the directions of Rudy Giuliani. Republicans will now try to throw Giuliani under the bus. Unfortunately, Giuliani has been all over television stating how he was in Ukraine working for Donald Trump. Unfortunately, the so-called transcript has Trump asking Ukraine’s president to talk to Rudy Giuliani. The evidence is there that Trump sent Giuliani to run a “drug deal” in Ukraine.

Ambassador Sondland said Trump doesn’t care about Ukraine, and that he only cares about the “big stuff” in that nation. Not big stuff like war with Russia, but big stuff like investigating Joe Biden. Yesterday, Sondland said others were “in the loop.” He was talking about White House Chief-of-Staff Mick Mulvaney (who’s admitted there was a quid pro quo), Secretary of State Mike Pompeo )who’s too much of a coward to defend his staff from Donald Trump), Energy Secretary Rick Perry, and Vice-President Mike Pence.

Republicans like Jim Jordan argue that Ukraine got their money so there isn’t a crime. If you rob a bank then return the money, there is still a crime. The Trump administration gave Ukraine the money only AFTER Congress started looking into the whistleblower complaint. Ukraine also wanted an Oval Office meeting for Zelensky. He still hasn’t received that.

Trump has asked a foreign nation to assist his campaign. He used taxpayer money to extort Ukraine. He’s obstructed justice by not allowing his people, like Mulvaney, Perry, Pence, Pompeo, and John Bolton to testify. He’s intimidated and harassed witnesses, even while they’re testifying. Republicans don’t believe Trump’s offenses amount to being worthy of impeachment, yet they impeached Bill Clinton over a blowjob.

If election meddling, bribery, extortion, obstruction, and witness tampering aren’t impeachable offenses, then what is?

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Secretary Oops

cjones12152016

During the 2012 Republican presidential primary Rick Perry stated during a debate that as president he’d get rid of the Department of Commerce, the Department of Education, and the Department of….he couldn’t remember the name and finished his statement with a great big “oops.” I don’t think his campaign lasted another week.

The department name that he wanted to eliminate yet couldn’t remember is the Department of Energy. So quite naturally at this pace of Trump’s Transition Rick Perry will probably be appointed to the cabinet as Secretary of Energy.

Why not, right? We have a Secretary of Labor who hates labor unions and the minimum wage (not against raising it. Against it entirely), a Secretary of Education who has fought to kill public education, a Secretary of Treasury who’s a Goldman Sachs guy, Ben Carson who says he isn’t qualified to head a department will now be heading a department, A Nazi as Trump’s chief strategist, and a fake news lover as the National Security Adviser. Let’s not forget Trump’s pick to lead the State Department is BFFs with Vladimir Putin.

So why not nominate a Republican Texan to lead Energy who can’t remember the name of the department, wants to eliminate the department, and who, by the way, has a financial interest in the Dakota Pipeline. Next he’ll appoint David Duke to lead a study on cultural diversity.

The current secretary is Ernest Moniz who is a nuclear physicist. Obama gives us a nuclear physicist and Trump gives us a contestant from Dancing With The Stars.

Interesting factoid for you: Cabinet members are rarely rejected by the Senate. In the entire history of the United States only nine have been rejected with over 500 confirmed. The last time a nominee was rejected was 1989 and he was John Tower who was nominated by George H. W. Bush to head the Department of Defense. At that time the Senate was controlled by Democrats. The last time the Senate rejected a nominee made by a president of their own party was in 1843 and it wasn’t the Democrats or Republicans. It was the Whigs and they rejected six nominees to John Tyler’s cabinet. Six! They really wanted to stick it to their own president.

Speaking of Whigs, I believe 2017 will be a great time for the controlling party to once again stick it to their own president.

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Trump!!!

cjones06182015

I’m really excited Donald Trump is actually in the race. He’s not pretending this time. He’s not teasing the nation’s cartoonists and comedians. He’s actually running. This is going to be good.

I’m also surprised he’s actually running. I felt he wouldn’t for a few reasons. One being that he wouldn’t invest his own money into such a horrible endeavor, stock, product, item, etc. The other reason is I figured he wouldn’t want to actually lose. Will what stock he has as a viable commentator on politics be diminished by his losing? Maybe not as several candidates get Fox News gigs after losing.

This will be fun. He’s going to throw bomb after bomb embarrassing his party. He’s already started. He’s ostracized every Mexican on the planet by saying they’re rapists. He’s attacked Jeb Bush for not wearing a tie. He’s pissed off Neil Young by using his song (he’s now using a Bachman Turner Overdrive song which makes me wonder why he’s only using music made by Canadians). To pack the room at his announcement he paid actors to attend and cheer. The entrance on the escalator was awesome. He’s also stated he wants Oprah Winfrey as his running mate. Unfortunately he’ll have to win the nomination before naming a running mate. Oh my God. Can you imagine a Trump/Palin ticket? I would run out of ink.

Thank you, Donald Trump. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Say something else!

Know what’s funnier than Trump running? A lot of people want to vote for him. We have a lot of stupid in this country.

I actually had a hard time coming up with an idea. I rejected a lot of ideas. It seemed everything was obvious and being done. I am not going to make any clown references, especially a clown car reference. I try to say something in my cartoons that nobody else is saying, or find a different way to say it. Trump actually made that hard because he’s too easy. I decided to focus on the damage he’s bringing to the Republican party.

I didn’t get a birthday gift from anyone this year except Donald Trump.

Candidate Oops

cjones06062015

By the way, if you can’t name the three branches of government you probably shouldn’t complain about immigrants anymore….or really talk about anything political.

I had a couple of other Perry ideas last night. I didn’t like them enough and then I stumbled upon my Jim Bob cartoon (posted yesterday), so I drew that.

I came upon this idea after laying still on my bed in a food coma after devouring a plate of Kung Pao Chicken.

The other ideas were instead of Perry 2.0 he was “Perry 2.OOPS.” The other I kinda liked as it had Perry being sworn in for the presidency and having every syllable of the oath of office being read to him by the Chief Justice (I didn’t feel like doing all the lettering required to pull that off). Eh. Sorry I didn’t rough them out on paper. They stayed in my head.

Perry does have one good thing going for him that other candidates lack and that’s name recognition. The bad thing is what everyone associations with his name and that’s “oops.” You would think someone could remember what he accomplished as governor of the second largest state for 12 years other than being under indictment.

 

Let’s Mess With Texas

cjones05072015

A whole bunch of people, even the governor, in my birth state of Texas believe that U.S. military exercises there means Obama plans for a federal takeover of the Lone Star State and declare martial law. There are rumors Chinese soldiers are sneaking into the state and holding up in five temporarily closed Wal-Marts.

It must be true. It’s even gotten Chuck Norris riled up and you know what a rational mind that guy has.

Governor Greg Abbott has ordered the Texas State Guard to monitor the military exercises known as Jade Helm 15, as though the Texas State Guard could fight the Army and Marines…or would. I have some bad news for Governor Abbott. The federal government took control of Texas in 1845 and again in 1865. He could read a history book. I mean a history book not edited for Texas schools.

Former governor and former forgetful presidential candidate, and future presidential candidate, Rick Perry even ridiculed the paranoia.

How about that, Texas. You’re finally free from a governor dumber than a bag hammers and elected an even dumber one. You know what they say, “everything’s bigger in Texas.” Even the stupid. As a political cartoonist, I do appreciate the gifts in subject material they keep giving me.

Isn’t it bizarre that you can show these people scientific proof of something like Global Warming and they won’t believe. Give them an idea of a conspiracy, without any proof or substance, like Obama is born in Kenya, or he’s a socialist, or he’s taking guns away, or he’s invading Texas and the wing nuts eat it up.

I had this cartoon idea last night but I had to finish up another cartoon first. I thought I might be the first cartoonist to cover it. Now I think I might be one of the last.

Skanky Cartoon Made Washington Post

cjones08222014

While buying hot dogs today I picked up a copy of The Washington Post and discovered they ran my Skank cartoon.  Cool.

The coolest part about a reprint like this is I wasn’t sure if the cartoon worked at all and that maybe I would be the only one to find it funny.

I wonder if the McDonnells have seen it.