religion

Evil SCOTUS


There’s a particular trait that’s common among conservatives and that is for them to explain their positions, they have to lie. Have you ever heard anyone defend Donald Trump without lying? Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch is a liar. But then again, the six extreme right-wing Christian fundamentalist justices that are the majority on the highest court in the land are proven liars.

In the ruling that came down today allowing a Washington state football coach to pray at a public school event, Gorsuch, who wrote for the majority, lied. It’s as if he didn’t pay any actual attention to the case and decided it’d suit his needs better if he just made some shit up. Naturally, this is one of Donald Trump’s appointees.

Gorsuch repeatedly claims in his writing for the majority that Joseph Kennedy, a former public school football coach at Bremerton High School in Washington state who prayed at the 50-yard line following football games, who was often joined by his players, members of the opposing team, and members of the general public, “offered his prayers quietly while his students were otherwise occupied.” That is a lie. The layman’s term for this is “bullshit.”

And once again, this court has thrown out precedent. This court has overruled Lemon v. Kurtzman, the 1971 decision that previously governed cases involving the Constitution’s language prohibiting an establishment of religion. This establishes, as usual, Christianity on government property in a government function. Do these fucks even know what “secular” means?

The coach did not pray silently. Anyone can pray at school or any other government facility. Prayer is not banned. Establishing a religion is banned which rules out public prayer. Kennedy held very public prayers on the 50-yeard line while players from both teams kneeled around him while he held up helmets from both teams as if he were the Moses of football.

One student’s father complained since his son felt compelled to join in despite being an atheist. There’s peer pressure and the fear the coach will sit you on the bench if you don’t worship Jesus with him. So, the school district told Kennedy to knock it off. Kennedy did not knock it off. Instead, the coach went on a media tour and even made an appearance on Good Morning, America. At the next game, there was what’s been described as a stampede to pray with the coach on the 50-yard line to help him with his “commitment to God.” It was so bad that even members of the high school band got trampled. You don’t see that shit at band camp.

But, I’m sure it was a very private stampede.

The 1971 case held that the government’s actions “must have a secular legislative purpose,” that their “principal or primary effect must be one that neither advances nor inhibits religion,” and that the government may not “foster ‘an excessive government entanglement with religion.’” A stampede for Jesus on a public school’s football field at the 50-yard line is NOT secular.

You don’t need God to play football anymore than you need the national anthem for sports.

Justice Gorsuch did not base his opinion on the Constitution. It’s why he lied. He even dismissed the photographic evidence of the prayer huddles. Since Gorsuch lied, it leaves me to speculate that he would have had a different ruling if the coach wasn’t Christian.

What if the coach was Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, or even worse…a Satanist?

The Church of Satan doesn’t literally worship the devil because Satanists are atheists. Satanists don’t believe in God or the Devil. They chose Satan as their symbol which makes sense as this country is supposed to guarantee the right to freedom of religion. That right also protects your freedom to be an atheist, so Satan is being used here as a symbol for atheists…and it freaks people the fuck out.

And that’s what I want. To freak people the fuck out…specifically, religious zealots who believe their religion takes priority and has greater rights than other religions. I want a liberal football coach somewhere in this nation (there has to be at least one) to conduct a Satanic ceremony after a public school’s football game on the 50-yard line. Neil Gorsuch rules that a coach can do that so I’m sure the school district won’t fire a coach for leading a Satanic prayer at a football game. And, even if that prayer summons a demon, Justice Gorsuch says that demon is allowed at a public school setting. Maybe a demon would enjoy a high school football game. Do demons like hotdogs? And, it wouldn’t be the first time someone summoned a demon to help with their football game. Ask Tom Brady.

And quite frankly, this public school demon needs to be raised and Neil Gorsuch and the rest of his troglodyte fundamentalist majority of hypocrites should be forced to live with it. The only problem is that it wouldn’t be fair to the demon.

Creative note: I read my lettering out loud just to hear how it sounds. For some reason, every time I said “Beezelbub,” my Amazon Echo device, Alexa, would light up. So, if you don’t get a new cartoon from me tomorrow or see any activity from me, it might mean I inadvertently summoned a demon. I should probably clean my bathroom.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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SCOTUS Erode Us


The far-right troglodyte court of religious zealots had a very busy week.

First, they ruled that religious private schools can receive taxpayer money. Naturally, this violates the separation of church and state which is in the Constitution.

Claiming they can actually comprehend the Constitution, SCOTUS’ next move was to allow people to carry concealed guns in New York City. I’ve been looking but I can’t find “concealed-carry” in the Constitution but I did find “well-regulated.”

Finally, SCOTUS did exactly what we expected them to do and that was to overturn Roe v. Wade based, not on the Constitution, but on their religious zealotry. If you’re a right-wing gun-humping religious zealot who wants to control women and tell them what they can and can’t do with their bodies, then you had a good week.

SCOTUS is overriding their function. They are legislating. Take the abortion case for example. They were hearing a case about banning abortions after a set number of weeks. Instead of just issuing a decision on that case, they created new laws. This is literally legislating from the bench.

The case they were hearing didn’t ask the court whether abortion is or isn’t constitutional, probably because most of the justices on the court have said that abortion is precedent and settled law.

The scary thing is, this is establishing a new precedent (irony abounds) for the court to strike down laws they’re not even hearing arguments about.

What will the Supreme Court strike down next that nobody’s asking them about?

Music note: I listened to a bunch of girl rock while drawing this (which took a while). I jammed to Paula Cole, Alanis Morrisette, the Cranberries, Melissa Etheridge, and Soul Asylum. Siri thinks Soul Asylum are girls.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Slithering SCOTUS


I love that conservatives are strict constitutionalists except when they’re not. Conservatives say they love the Constitution and it needs to be interpreted as it was written by the Founding Fathers, but they really only care about one amendment, the Second, and they even ignore half of that one. Hell, they can’t even say the complete sentence they’re always quoting.

Texas Republicans want to throw out the 16th Amendment which means they’re not constitutionalists at all. And when it comes to the First Amendment, conservatives love to take a crap on that one. They don’t care about freedom of speech except when it’s their speech. They don’t care about freedom of the press and want today’s media severely restricted. And, they truly believe in the separation of church and state only when it applies to other religions.

Case in point, the Supreme Court took a huge dump on the separation of church and state this week by ruling that taxpayers should fund church schools. I don’t think six religious zealots on the court interpreted “congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between Church & State” the way Thomas Jefferson intended.

I don’t believe those six justices combined are as intelligent as Jefferson.

The 6-3 fucknut religious zealot majority ruled on a case in Maine, that if that public funds intended to support the education of students for whom a public option was not available, then those funds be made available to parents who wished to use them to pay for a religious school’s tuition. The court just ruled that taxpayer money must be used on religious education. What happened to no establishment of religion?

Under the Establishment Clause, the federal government and all governments under it, cities, states, territories, etc, are prohibited from establishing or sponsoring religion. Giving taxpayer money to church schools is the very definition of sponsoring.

Justice Stephen Breyer argues in the dissenting opinion, the opinion that makes sense, “The very point of the Establishment Clause is to prevent the government from sponsoring religious activity itself, thereby favoring one religion over another or favoring religion over nonreligion.”

This ruling by the court orders states to sponsor religion. But, can you see Texas, Kentucky, Mississippi, or Florida pumping tax money into a private Muslim school? Hell, funding a private Jewish school is probably out of the question in yee-haw states. This ruling will be abused. It’s not just that yee-haw fuckers will favor one religion over another religion, they’ll also favor their religion over no religion. So much for being a secular government.

I’m agnostic and I love that the Constitution guarantees freedom of religion because that means we have the freedom FROM religion…but maybe we don’t anymore because six religious fucknuts just based a Supreme Court decision on their dogma.

How would these six justices have ruled if the school in Maine was a Muslim school? They wouldn’t have ruled at all because they would have refused to hear the case. So, no public funding for Hogwarts.

We’re joining Afghanistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, and many other authoritarian nations in setting laws based on religious mandates.

This country needs more people like Thomas Jefferson…and less like Amy Coney Barrett.

Music note: I decided to give Taylor Swift’s “Evermore” album a chance so I listened to about five songs from it while drawing this. I didn’t really get into it but it might be one of those things that grow on me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Bad Faith


CjonesRGB02182022

I was born Catholic and then dragged into Baptist churches after my father bailed on us. Later, my mom married a guy in the Chicago suburbs and I was dragged back into Catholic churches. After they divorced, I was forced to move to the deep south and once again attend Baptist churches. So naturally, I’m an atheist. During the 90s, my wife at the time wanted us to be churchgoers and me having my fill of Baptist churches, told her yes but only if we were Catholic. So, we gave that a spin for a year or so. Baptist church…Catholic church…it didn’t matter. We were still always the last family to arrive and would enter during the sermon. I don’t think my wife ever fully understood how bad it was to have an entire church of Catholics angrily looking down their noses at you. While we’re at it, let’s go piss off a bunch of Jewish mothers.

Catholicism is a lot more confusing than Baptist. While they both say you’re going to burn in Hell if you don’t behave, they have the same foundation as they’re both Christian faiths, but Baptists come off judgier and Catholics have a lot more rituals. When it comes to putting on a show, Catholics win hands down. I can’t say I fully understand everything about both religions, but hey…full-fledged Catholics can’t say they understand all of Catholicism. And apparently, even priests can’t fully understand their own religion.

How are we expected to understand the Father, the Spirit, and the Holy Ghost when a Catholic priest can’t understand the difference between “we” and “I”? And, he didn’t understand it for decades.

Because one priest replaced “I” with “we” in Arizona, thousands of baptisms are now rendered invalid by the Catholic Church. What?

The Catholic Diocese of Phoenix announced that after careful study, Reverand Andres Arango had used the wrong wording in baptisms performed up until June 17, 2021. One word made them all wrong.

Father Arango said during baptisms, “We baptize you in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Hell, I don’t even understand why “name” is capitalized. But his wording doesn’t sound bad, right? He got all that religious hocus pocus mumbo jumbo stuff in there. It sounds good to me. Again, I never was a good Catholic. According to the Phoenix Diocese, the Father should have said, “I baptize you” instead of “we baptize you.”

I guess he thought he represented God and the church, so it was a “we” and not just himself doing the baptizing even though it was just him physically dunking people’s heads into water. You can get kicked out of a pool for doing that normally…or out of school if you use a toilet.

Are you confused? Well, you should be. This is Catholicism. It’s all confusing.
The church explains it like this: “It is not the community that baptizes a person and incorporates them into the Church of Christ; rather, it is Christ, and Christ alone, who presides at all sacraments; therefore, it is Christ who baptizes. If you were baptized using the wrong words, that means your baptism is invalid, and you are not baptized.”

Now I am confused. If it’s Christ doing the baptizing, and not the priest, when the priest says “I,” is he saying he’s Christ? Why does he say, “I baptize you in the Name of the Father and Myself and of the Holy Spirit?” I told you I suck at Catholicism.

But, the church says you’re not baptized if you were baptized with the wrong word. You gotta be careful with the proper wording with incantations because, in Army of Darkness, Ash was supposed to say “Klaatu verata nikto” to the necronomicon in order to return to his own time, but forgetting one of the words, he said, “Klaatu verata mumble mumble mumble” and ended up raising an evil Ash and an army of Deadites.

Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted said this was confirmed after an investigation by diocesan officials in consultation with the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in Rome. He noted that the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith affirmed in 2020 that baptisms conferred with the phrase “We baptize you” are not valid.
That means this isn’t just an opinion from Arizona that can be overturned by a recount from Cyber Ninjas, but that this is straight from the Vatican. This is an official Catholic Church position. Unless the Pope says otherwise, these baptisms, which this particular priest has been giving since Toad the Wet Sprocket was huge and before Ross and Rachel were ever on a break, are all invalid. Maybe the church can pivot.

It gets even deeper. Even deeper than a swirlie baptism.

The church further explained that because baptism is the “sacrament that grants access to all the others,” a botched baptism could invalidate any subsequent sacraments, including confirmation, marriage, and holy orders.

I always thought a “botched” baptism would be something like falling into the church pool and next thing you know, you’re in the wrong religion.

By the way, when I was a kid, I had to live with my Uncle Rock, Aunt Charlotte, and my two cousins, Tammy and Debbie for six months while my mom was in prison. Seriously. They were very religious and I had to go to church twice on Sundays, once on Wednesday, and every night during revival week. One day, my uncle took us all to get baptized. My uncle, aunt, and two cousins each had their names called and would take their turn getting their heads dunked in a shallow pool. After they called the fourth one, they moved on to the next family. My name was never called. It was like the Baptist church looked at me and said, “Nope.” I was a pretty cynical kid. My mom never took me to be baptized, so I was never baptized. Maybe that explains a lot.

If you were baptized by this particular priest and he said “we” instead of “I” during the ceremony and you got married after, even if the ceremony was conducted by another priest, yeah, you’re not married, at least not in the Catholic Church’s eye. This priest has been doing it wrong since 1995 which means there are a lot of 26-year-olds just now discovering they’re bastards and mommy and daddy have been living in sin all these years. Hey, it works for Kurt and Goldie.

Even though the priest has resigned, the diocese says, despite him inadvertently condemning thousands to an eternity in Hell, he remains a priest in “good standing.” It’s not like he was fondling altar boys and they have to conceal it and move the priest to another parish.

But, if I understand Christianity correctly, all you have to do after any sin is ask God for forgiveness. The Baptists don’t do this but the Catholics have confession, where you enter a booth and confess all your sins to a priest. Then your slate is clean of sins until you rack up new ones and you go back, confess again, and get your slate cleansed again. So I guess if you were in one of these botched baptisms, after you are re-baptized…or baptized for the first time, then re-married…or married for the first time to the person you thought you had been married to for years, you can enter a confession booth and say, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned…but it wasn’t my fault this time.” Now, is it my writing that makes it all confusing, or is it Catholicism?

I have an opinion on this. Now, keep in mind that when I talk about religion and everything else that goes with the existence of a god, it’s my opinion. It’s how I, not “we,” feel about it. I am NOT telling you it’s a fact. Nobody knows facts about God and the afterlife. That is a fact. You and I know just as much about the afterlife as the Pope. Fact.

If the Catholic Church has authority and say over whether you’re married or not, they only have that authority because you gave it to them. If you believe the Catholic Church has to approve of your marriage, does that mean you believe all non-Catholic marriages are illegitimate? I don’t believe that. If you’re married, then you’re married…no matter what anyone else says. And if Chandler and Monica can get married by Joey, then you’re still married despite this one priest botching a single word.

Religious people would always describe marriage as being between a man and a woman…and God. But who are they the ones to say who can get married? Didn’t we go through this with gay marriage? Who’s the government to say who can marry who? I believe anyone can marry anyone, as long as it’s not your dog or your sister. Basically, humans can marry any other non-related human…if they’re of legal age. Hell, Rudy Giuliani is Catholic and the church let him marry his cousin. So, who is the Catholic Church to say you’re married because one priest said “we” instead of “I”? And don’t get me started on the father giving away the bride like she’s a piece of property.
It’s kinda like for the Supremes to be signed by Motown Records, they had to give their guitar player to Smokey Robinson. It was a trade of one recording contract for one guitar player. Guitar players are not property! Hey, did you hear about the band that locked their keys inside the van? It took them an hour to get the drummer out. OK, I’ll stop digressing.

Back to these Phoenix Catholics, the diocese said that while the situation may seem legalistic, the words, materials, and actions are crucial aspects of every sacrament, and changing any of them makes them invalid.

The diocese explained, “For example, if a priest uses milk instead of wine during the Consecration of the Eucharist, the sacrament is not valid. The milk would not become the Blood of Jesus Christ.” Also, if people walk into a situation expecting wine and they get milk, there will be Hell to pay. Catholics can drink, yo. Also, can Mad Dog serve as the Blood of Jesus Christ? What about Ripple? Can you do it with a Zima?

Does this work with crackers too? If someone uses a knock-off Brand for Ritz, does that mean that cracker is not the body of Christ?

This is just another reason why I’m atheist, or more specifically, agnostic. I don’t have the answers and will never claim to have them. I’m open that there may be a higher power, even though I seriously doubt it. But, I don’t believe in organized religions’ descriptions of a god. Now, I’m not a person who tries to convert people. I respect your faith. It’s nice to be honest and say I believe in something without any physical proof. It’s like believing Trump won.

But, I will say that being agnostic is easier. Hell, it’s even easier than atheism because those people are starting to have meetings now. Atheists are like vegetarians. They will tell you they’re an atheist when you never asked. But, free of religious and atheistic commitments, I get to sleep in, I don’t have to be lectured to while trapped in a pew for hours, I don’t have to listen to religious music (Christian rock is the worst and if there is a God, then that music was created by Satan), I don’t have to give money to a minister who’s just going to spend it on a private jet and lots of hair gel, I don’t have to pray or ever get down on my knees unless there’s a really good beneficial reason, and I don’t have to worry about shit like “we” and “I”.

I think religion is superstition and makes as much sense as believing in Santa Claus. I mean, you believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy because your parents told you to…or maybe a Tim Allen movie. At some point, either your parents told you they had been lying or you opened your own mind and figured it out for yourself. That’s what happened to me when I got a dollar for a tooth and then later found it in the dishwasher. Your parents were also the first to tell you to believe in a god and they put you into your religion. But they never “pivoted” and told you it wasn’t real, probably because their parents never did the pivot. You are probably like most people, still in the same religion your parents forced you to be in. You should have done a Ross and screamed “pivot” over and over until your parents finally relented and screamed back there is not a god and those are generic Aldi crackers you’re eating.

I also think people believe in a god because it’s scary to think you’re here alone and nobody’s watching over you and will be sure it’ll be alright in the end. You mean I’m the one who has to take care of all this crap? It’s all on me? Oh, fuck.

I accept most people are religious, even most people I’m friends with. That’s why I don’t try to convert or even talk about religion. When a friend wants to talk to me about religion, I warn them first. Of course, I also have the kind of friends who don’t try to rope me in. They respect my belief while I respect theirs. Sheep.

You can be a good person without being a member of a religion. Even the Church of Satan says “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.”

Now, if you’re one of the unfortunate souls who was baptized by this Arizona priest and you can’t sleep at night over it, then, by all means, go get baptized…again. But, If there is a Hell and you’re going there, it’s not because someone said “we” instead of “I”. You know what you did.

Sinner.

Music Note: While coloring today’s cartoon, I listened to Toad the Wet Sprocket.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Grim SCOTUS


cjones11292020

The biggest takeaway from the Supreme Court’s ruling that churches in New York can remain open, because placing restrictions on them is infringing upon their Constitutionally-protected religious freedom, is where the court will be years from now.

The court ruled on similar cases just a few months ago, and ruled 5-4, with Chief Justice John Roberts joining the liberals, that the government can place restrictions on churches. On Wednesday night, it was another 5-4 ruling, this time in favor of the churches and again, with Roberts joining the liberals.

The big takeaway here is that Amy Coney Barrett was the vote putting it over the top. The last time the court voted on this, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was on the court and actually understood the case.

The argument here is that New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, was being harder on churches than places like retail businesses. But the thing is, it’s not the same.

You don’t go to a grocery store to spend two hours parking your ass in one spot. You do that in church. It’s not comparable. The churches are complaining that Cuomo is singling them out for their religion.

Nobody cares about your religion other than to protect it. I don’t care if you go to mass for seven hours every night, dance in circles with snakes while speaking in tongues. You do you. But, I do care if you go to church and bring back your virus to the grocery store. Do you understand how that works? No?

Neither do five members of the Supreme Court.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Religious Test Bigotry


cjones10172020

Don’t take my word for it that Republicans are going to lose in November. Take theirs.

Republicans know they’re going to lose the Senate (even South Carolina is competitive. South Carolina!). They’re going to lose the White House. There is no chance they can retake Congress.

Republicans know the will of the American people is against them. The majority of the nation rejects Republicanism and Trumpism. In the past 32 years, they’ve only won the popular vote in a presidential election…ONCE. In 2018, Senate Democratic candidates received 12 million more votes than Republican candidates. And despite the will of this nation being against Republicans, they control the White House, the Senate, and will soon have six out of nine justices on the Supreme Court which will rule for decades. Do you think that’s fucked up? Good, because it’s fucked up.

Republicans know the majority of America doesn’t like them. They know the more educated and informed Americans are, they more likely they’ll vote against their policies because their policies are stupid, racist, and regressive. “Make America great again” means make America go backwards. And that’s why they’re ramming through the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett.

Nine months was the time between Merrick Garland’s nomination to the Supreme Court and the election in 2016, yet Republicans wouldn’t even discuss it. There were no hearings. Republican senators refused to even meet with the man. There are 21 days between now and election day and yesterday, Republicans began hearings for Amy Coney Barrett.

Is it because she’s so qualified? No. While I don’t believe she’s a mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging moron, she doesn’t have much experience. She’s been a judge, not just a federal judge…but a judge period for less than four years. Does she need to be rammed through because of her excellent judgement? Well, she judged that all seven of her children could attend a White House super-spreader event without wearing face masks or engaging in social distancing. Should we ram her through because she’s a person who stands by her word and has exemplary principles? I don’t know because she once said only conservatives should replace conservative justices and vice versa for liberals. Today, she’s a conservative nominee replacing Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

And should we ram her through because of her independence and free will? No because she’s in a cult. Literally. She is in a religious cult.

Republicans scream that Democrats shouldn’t exercise “religious bigotry” over her. I disagree. Exercise that shit. She’s in a cult. She’s going to be on the bench for decades. We have a right to know if she’s going to rule like the Handmaid’s Tale. It’s fair to ask if she’s going to enact her religious beliefs when it comes to abortion, health coverage for all Americans, guns, birth control, gay marriage, or force every unwed woman in the nation to wear a chastity belt, and if they screw around, a scarlet letter.

Yesterday, I observed an exchange between a conservative cartoonist and a liberal cartoonist. I merely observed…for once. The conservative was upset with the liberal’s cartoon on Donald Trump’s nominee and said his work “smacked” of religious bigotry. The conservative asked, “What would you have drawn had she been a devout Muslim or an Orthodox Jew?” My question to him would be, “What would you have drawn?”.

Let’s be honest. If a Democratic president nominated a Muslim female, the GOP would freak out. For example, look at what they’ve done with Ilhan Omar, and she’s a Congresswoman. Donald Trump has accused her of coming to “our” nation after messing up her birth nation of Somalia, never mind the fact she left Somalia when she was eight. They’ve accused her of supporting terrorists and of being a terrorist. They’ve yelled, “Send her back.” Republicans have said, “How dare she tell us how to run ‘our’ country,” forgetting the fact she was elected to tell us how to run our country. Never mind the fact that our country is also her country. They’ve even accused her of marrying her brother. Seriously. And if we take Donald Trump’s track record of hypocrisy into account, we should investigate to see if Melania is his sister.

So yeah. I’m sure Republicans wouldn’t exercise any religious bigotry if a Muslim was nominated to the Supreme Court…or any court for that matter. And just how many Muslims are currently occupying federal courts in the United States of America? Zero. Zip. Nada. Nil. Zilch. None.

There are no Muslims on any of our nation’s federal courts. And yet, Republicans are clutching their pearls by people asking a religious zealot who’s a member of a literal cult that literally tells women to be submissive to their men, if her faith will play a part in her decisions.

I have two great ideas: First, let’s nominate nothing but atheists. They won’t be influenced by some backwards dogma while also respecting religious freedom because that also protects our right to not have any faith.

My second great idea is to stop these proceedings because ramming this confirmation of Amy Coney Barret to the Supreme Court is a joke leading to a tragedy.

This is a lifetime appointment. By ramming it through, Republicans are showing they don’t respect that. They don’t respect the American people. They say the American people should decide who puts these judges on the courts but by ramming this through within 22 days shows that Republicans are afraid of what the American people will decide.

And has Amy Coney Barrett said, “Hey, let’s wait until after the election.”? Of course not. Because just like everyone else Donald Trump has nominated, she doesn’t have any principles. She can not wait to get on the Supreme Court and take away your health insurance and to outlaw abortion. Hell, Justices Thomas and Alito are salivating at the chance to outlaw gay marriage.

The real irony here is that after she gets on the court and helps install Donald Trump president for life, there will no longer be a Supreme Court.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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If Biden Wins


cjones08102020

You would think Donald Trump is talking out of his ass and making up wild bullshit out of desperation from losing to Joe Biden, except Donald Trump always talks out of his ass and makes up wild bullshit.

Donald Trump said if Biden wins, he’ll, “Take away your guns, take away your Second Amendment. No religion, no anything. Hurt the Bible. Hurt God. He’s against God. He’s against guns. He’s against energy, our kind of energy.”

He also claimed Biden will get rid of cops and fracking. The fracking thing might be the only thing close to being true. Why didn’t Trump include grandmas, baseball, apple pie, and puppies?

Joe Biden has based his entire career on his faith. It’s something he’s talked about again and again. He talked about how his faith helped him get through the loss of his first wife, daughter, and son. When Pope Francis visited the United States in 2015, Joe Biden met him on the tarmac, went with him to Mass at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and accompanied the Pope to Philadelphia. He called the Pope, “the single most popular figure in the world.”

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Russians meddlers spread lies that Pope Francis endorsed Trump. Donald Trump never knocked those claims down.

When Donald Trump talks about religion, he says he has never asked for forgiveness and when he has been to church, that’s where you eat your “little crackers and drink your little wine.”

The last time Donald Trump went to a church, he had the military teargas peaceful protesters so he could walk to it from the White House, stand outside the church on a Monday afternoon, hold “a” Bible upside down(when asked if it was his, he said it was “a Bible”), all for a photo-op. Then he walked back to the White House. No statements. No prayers. Nothing but a photo which was made possible by Attorney General William Barr and Secretary of Defense Mark Esper, who later said he regretted it.

Religious leader and hater of zipping up his pants, Jerry Falwell Jr. is a big Trump fan and thinks the coronavirus is an evil plot to destroy Trump. What was in that glass of “black water?”

Evangelicals love Donald Trump. Many believe he was sent by God. Donald Trump believes he was sent by God. Donald Trump has claimed he’s the “Chosen One.” The Republican Party has turned into a cult that treats Trumpism as a religion. There is nothing to believe in but Trump. Christians who support Donald Trump are not Christians.

A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump using a church for a photo-op. A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump saying he doesn’t need forgiveness. A Christian wouldn’t support a man who brags about “grabbing them by the pussy.” A Christian wouldn’t support a grifter like Donald Trump who steals from charities to purchase paintings of himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who is the king of vanity and can’t stop praising himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who mocks the handicapped and puts children into jails. A Christian would not support a man who claims his opponent hates the Bible and will hurt God. A Christian would reject a man who claims he’s the “Chosen One.” A Christian would not support a man who lies. A Christian would not support Mr. Two Corinthians.

A real Christian would support removing Donald Trump from the Oval Office.

Joe Biden hurt God? A Christian would know that’s impossible. Donald Trump is no Christian.

If you claim you are a Christian and you support Donald Trump, do us all a favor and blow it out your ass.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Sunday Sycophants


cjones05262020

I’m not a religious person. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in religious freedom. Religious freedom means you’re free not to have any religion. Religious freedom means you’re free to be an atheist. Religious freedom is just as important to those without faith and religion as it is to those who worship a god. It also means you have the freedom to designate Donald Trump as your god.

If you actually buy into Donald Trump’s bullshit about opening churches, then Donald Trump is your god. It also means you’re stupid. If you’re ever walking along the street and run into someone playing the shell game (that’s where a guy has three shells, moves them around, and you guess which one has a pea in it), don’t play. You will suck at the shell game. For example: Donald Trump donates his salary while raking in emoluments and charging the government each time he visits one of his golf resorts. That is a shell game. You suck.

Donald Trump is a conman. He’s not even a good conman. Only stupid people fall for Donald Trump’s con. He runs multiple cons simultaneously (in case you’re a Republican, that means at the same time). But his most recent con is his demand for all the governors to allow churches to reopen. If they defy his order (in case you’re a Republican, that “defy” means they don’t do what he says), he claims he’ll override the governors and force them to open churches.

How exactly is Donald Trump going to override governors and force churches to reopen? By sending in the National Guard? Oops, no he won’t. He just called for their deployment to end one day before they’re eligible for benefits (in case you’re a Republican, “eligible” means having the right to get something). Anyway, I’d love to see the Army storming into churches and apprehending grandmas. That would make a great Madea movie. This is also another example that Donald Trump doesn’t really support the military.

Here’s the thing though: Donald Trump does NOT have the authority to force governors to reopen churches. But he won’t have to anyway. No governor is going to send state police into churches to arrest parishioners. There will be no posses sent out to wrangle choirs.

This is also another example of Donald Trump not caring about people. He doesn’t care if you go to church any more than he cares if you die from the coronavirus, or if you die from taking medication prescribed by a quack wearing a yellow ferret on his head. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to be in church on Sunday defying social distancing guidelines. No. He’s going to be in the White House on Sunday morning watching Fox News, tweeting stupid crap while eating Quarter Pounders with cheese.

This is kinda like Trump Wine. He says he doesn’t drink wine but can vouch his wine is the best wine. How would he know if it’s the best wine if he doesn’t drink wine? How would he know churches are essential when he’s never been to one? He claims he’s been to church but I don’t know if anything really sunk in when the only impression he got was from the “little crackers.”

A lot of people say Donald Trump is playing to his base because he’s down in the polls. He is playing to his base but not for their votes. He already has those. If you’re a white religious zealot, he didn’t win your vote yesterday. He had your vote when he called Mexicans “rapists and murderers.” What is Donald Trump doing? He’s being divisive. He’s making religion partisan, just like he did with science.

Do you know why Donald Trump keeps pimping Hydroxychloroquine? It’s not because he’s making money on it. It’s not because he’s saving face. It’s not because he actually believes in it. He’s advocating it because it defies science. He’s promoting it because he made it a wedge issue. He likes to divide and fight and his base is dumb enough to buy into it because they’re all horrible and vile people. Donald Trump says to take it so his supporters swear by it…even though most of them have never taken it or read a scientific paper on it. In fact, his own administration urges you NOT to take it while he’s saying “take it” and asking “what have you got to lose?”. You have everything to lose. And if you ignore social distancing guidelines and go to a crowded church, you have everything to lose.

Here’s another thing, kiddos: You and your religion are not being persecuted because you’re denied the right to infect other people. If one person with Covid-19 is in your church, with loud singing, loud chanting, loud hallelujahs, and everyone’s in close proximity, then your church is a cesspool. Multiple people have caught the coronavirus in church.

Nobody is telling you not to have faith. No governor has outlawed praying. If your religion requires you to pray with specific company and in a specific building, then you don’t have any faith at all. You physically being in a church isn’t essential at all. That doesn’t mean your faith isn’t essential, but you being there…nuh-uh.

What is religious persecution is denying a mosque the right to exist in a certain location which Donald Trump did to a mosque in New York City in 2010. Religious persecution is calling for surveillance on all mosques which Donald Trump did as a presidential candidate. Religious persecution is calling for a ban on all Muslims entering the nation which Donald Trump did as a presidential candidate. Religious persecution is enacting that ban which Donald Trump did as president (sic).

Also, Donald Trump is demanding all churches reopen while the coronavirus is still rampaging through the south and midwest. Donald Trump is encouraging you to put yourself, your family, and your neighbors in danger. Donald Trump does not care if you die.

If you really buy into the idea that Donald Trump, Mr. Two Corinthians…Mr. Porn-Star shagging really cares about your religion, then I have a piece of toast with Jesus’ image in it I’ll sell to you for a great price.

As I said, I’m not religious but growing up in Southern Baptist churches, in addition to a few Catholic churches, and even attending a private Baptist school for a year, I’m quite familiar with religions. And I know using religion as a political prop is sinful.

Another sin is worshipping a false deity. And Donald Trump is as false as it gets.

And in case you’re a Republican, see you in Hell.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Pope Slap


cjones01042020

While greeting the faithful around the Nativity at the Vatican on New Year’s Eve, one overly-enthusiastic worshipper grabbed Pope Francis and wouldn’t let go. To break free, the Pope slapped the woman’s hand twice and stormed away afterward visibly upset. Anyone who’s ever attended Catholic school recognized the short slaps delivered with quick precision. They also recognized the expression on the Pope’s face. It’s one Catholic students never wanted to see in a nun.

He was trying to greet children and the woman grabbed him with both hands while he was walking away, yanked him back, and made the 83-year-old Pope lose his balance. He was caught by surprise so maybe his reaction is understandable. But Francis is the Pope so naturally, he later apologized.

In his traditional Wednesday remarks, the Pope said, “Many times we lose our patience. I do, too, and I’m sorry for yesterday’s bad example.” The people who really rejoiced, while pretending to be upset, at the Pope’s initial reaction were conservatives, who aren’t big fans of his (while ignoring that Donald Trump grabs “pussy”).

Republicans believe they own religion or at least the right religions. Evangelical support for Donald Trump is off the charts which boggles the mind of anyone who clearly sees the hypocrisy and double standard. But, most of that support is white support.

A Pew Research Center survey from 2017 looks inside the numbers and finds that most religious support for Republicans is white.

While only 18% of white evangelicals identify as Democrats, 77% are Republican. It narrows with white Protestants as 53% identify as GOP with 41% going Democratic. Black Protestants support Democrats with 87%.

Support is basically tied when you factor in all American Catholics with the GOP at 46% and Dems at 47%. But, it gets wider when you factor in race. White Catholics support Republicans at 54% and Democrats with 40%. Hispanic Catholics vote Democratic at 64% and Republican at 27%.

Despite Republican pandering, Trump claiming he’s the “chosen one,” that he’s done more for Israel than any president before him, and recognizing Jerusalem as the capital, Jewish voters strongly favor Democrats over the GOP 67% to 31%. And Mormon voters…do you really have to ask? It’s in the 70% range.

If you’re not religious at all, then you’re probably going to vote Democratic (because people who aren’t religious tend to be more educated and deal with issues on a factual basis). Godless heathens, like myself, support Democrats at 68%.

Republicans continue to claim they’re the party for people who worship. The truth is, they’re the party for white worshippers. That’s as confusing as people who support the military and consider themselves patriotic supporting Donald Trump, or people who claim they want family values, or a cohesive and consistent foreign policy, or people who think.

But as we’ve seen from white evangelicals, they’re hypocrites who sell out their principles to get what they want. As I wrote recently, they’ll support Trump to force us to obey the principles and ethics they pretend to have.

What you need to do if you’re a religious person who supports Donald Trump and the Republican Party is to be like the Pope. Slap that tiny orange hand away. Don’t let the tiny orange fingers pull you in deeper into a hole you’ll never be able to crawl out of.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

The LDS Church’s Exclusive History


utah05172015

This week’s cartoon for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

The church is currently threatening to excommunicate members who are gay. I was wondering how well they’ll look in history for this decision. Considering they didn’t allow black members into the priesthood until 1978, and something they resisted heavily before then, it seems to me they don’t learn from history. It’s like they’re saying “yeah, we were wrong that one time and though this is the exact same thing it’s not the exact same thing.” Good luck with that.

Here’s the rough. You’ll notice I made a few changes upon editors’ advice.

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