Political Cartoon

Iranian Hostages


cjones01182016

Who the Hell complains about American hostages and prisoners being released by an enemy nation? Republicans. Specifically Republicans running for president.

They’re upset they were taken in the first place, which we all are. But they say their capture is a result of the disrespect the world has for President Obama, as if it wouldn’t have happened with a Republican president. Americans, members of the military or civilians, have never been taken by a foreign power during any other presidential administration. Oh wait…yes they have. OK, not during a Republican administration….oh yeah…they have. During George W. Bush’s first year in office China captured several military personnel. When they were released Bush apologized to China and let China keep all the technology inside their plane.

They’re also upset with the way Iran promoted the capture by showing video of the sailors on the knees, hands behind their heads, while guns were pointed at them. I agree that’s sickening and it shouldn’t be promoted. But we do it too. After we killed Saddam Hussein’s two sons we flashed photos of their corpses across the media landscape.

In addition to the soldiers being released, Iran released five other prisoners on Saturday. Four of them were part of a “swap.” U.S. clemency was offered to seven Iranians charged or imprisoned for sanctions violations and the dismissal of outstanding charges against 14 Iranians outside the United States. They were not shipped to Iran and can pretty much go wherever they want. None of the seven were charged with terrorism.

Republicans are still upset. They say we shouldn’t have made the deal because….they don’t know why but it’s just wrong. They wanted a fight. I guess it would have been OK if a Republican was president and made the deal by illegally giving Iran missiles, which is how President Reagan got hostages released.

The GOP has complained that the release of the five prisoners in Iran should have been a part of the nuclear deal. Their release is not a part of it, but it has coincided with the start of the deal. Yet, they’re still complaining.

It’s funny the people who claim to love America, love the military, claim to be patriots, do the most harm to America and the military. Screaming about the release of the hostages before they’re actually released is a disqualifier for the office of president. Negotiations are sensitive. If you have to risk the lives of Americans and can’t wait another four hours to make political hay, you should not be president.

Diplomacy can work if you give it a chance. Sometimes you have to talk to your enemies. Even Reagan knew that, when someone told him who he was talking to and if he could stay awake long enough. The last time we didn’t give diplomacy a chance we waged a useless war in Iraq. The people who created the mess, foreign and domestic, that Obama has spent eight years cleaning up, are promising to make the mess again.

No thanks!

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Virginia Wee-Wee And Hoo-Haa Checker


cjones01172016

Mark Cole is a Republican representative to the Virginia House of Delegates. He represents parts of Spotsylvania County, Stafford County and the city of Fredericksburg. This is the community I live in. We have a lot of insufferable, right wing, intolerant, fundamentalist lunatics in this area. But dammit. All the other Yahoos coordinated and got this one elected to public office. Suffice it to say, Delegate Cole is not representing my views.

Mr. Cole has a history of sponsoring legislation motivated by his paranoia. In 2010 he sponsored a bill that would ban the implantation of microchips into humans by their employers. He said “there’s a prophecy in the Bible that says you’ll have to receive a mark, or you can neither buy nor sell things in end times, some people think these computer chips might be that mark.” Maybe someone should check Mr. Cole for the Mark of the Beast.

Now he’s worried about which bathroom transgender children will use. He has sponsored a bill which in part legislates the use of bathrooms based on “anatomical sex” in public schools. Cole has not explained how he envisions this law to work. How are school authorities supposed to determine the proper sex of their students? Who does it? How do they do it? Do they put an ad in the paper for a hoo-haa inspector? Will they reject applicants who drive creepy vans? Who the Hell wants that job, I mean other than pedophiles? This is crap I don’t want to think about. Maybe our legislators should stop thinking about it too.

Thankfully I don’t believe these questions will have to be answered since Virginia has a Democratic governor who is not a fundamentalist lunatic who fancies laws that bully children.

Cole says there are parents in his district concerned and worried about transgender children sharing a bathroom with their children. Tell those paranoid parents to instruct their children to use a stall. They still have those in school bathrooms, right? What bothers me more than transgender children are adults who want to check out their genitalia. Stop it.

When Cole isn’t fixated on the genitalia of school children he’s sponsoring bills that support voter suppression, memorialize the U.S. Congress to repeal personal income taxes and enact a national sales tax and another on the right to bear arms (which is already legal).

It’s bad enough students are confronted with bullying by fellow students. They don’t need adults to join in on the bullying.

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New York Values


cjones01162016

Leave it to Ted Cruz to make Donald Trump look and sound like a statesman. What happens if Cruz becomes president? Will he make Kim Jong Un look like Churchill?

In an attempt to defuse Trump’s attack on his eligibility to be president, since he was born in Canada, Ted Cruz warned Republican voters that Trump has “New York values.” This guy who wants to lead the United States has totally disrespected one of the states and its entire population.

It seems if someone’s to be warned about something being from New York, that something is salsa or Barbecue. Not a person. And sure, half of the country hates the Yankees. But to hate a person because of where they’re from?

While Ted tells us what an expert he is on the Constitution, he needs to learn up on geography. New York is in the United States. Calgary is not.

If there’s only one city that can take a hit like it did on 9/11, and grow stronger, that city is New York City. New York is tough. New York is multicultural. New York is a melting pot. You can stereotype any city or state and each and every single one is more complex than a black and white stigma.

New York values embodies fire fighters rushing up the stairs of a building that can fall down any second so they can save as many lives as possible. 343 fire fighters, 60 policemen and eight medics died instantly when those buildings fell down on September 11, 2001.

New York values. Ted Cruz could use some.

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A Republican Promise


cjones01152016

Other than the ten-minute argument between Trump and Cruz over birtherism and New York values, what you can get from the latest Republican debate is that they promise to get rid of Obama. The only way to sum up the rest of the debate is that they’re all idiots.

Jeb Bush says the country is worse now than before Obama became president. He must be thinking of his brother’s tenure in the Oval Office. Osama is dead, gas prices are under two bucks a gallon, and we still have an automobile industry. Also, employment is up and the rate of government spending has slowed down greatly.

They still don’t understand the U.S. military is the strongest in the world.

They’re promising that if Iran ever takes U.S. sailors hostage again that they’ll get them released quicker than ten hours, which is what Obama did.

Some want to ban all Muslims from entering the country and others only want to ban some Muslims.

They still hate brown people. They still love guns and God. Rubio said our rights come from God, not the government.

All of the candidates are running against Obama, despite Obama leaving office next January. Chris Christie made the dumbest statement of the night, which is quite an achievement considering there were other Republicans on stage, including Ben Carson. Christie said “I hope the President is watching tonight because here’s what I’d like to tell him. We are going to kick your rear end out of the White House come this fall.”

Christie, you’re not kicking anybody anywhere. Obama is leaving in January whether a Republican wins the White House or it goes to Bernie or Hillary. I expect by the next debate Christie will be kicked to the kids’ table.

These guys should be grateful Obama is limited to two terms. He’d clean their clocks in another election.

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Party With Nikki


cjones01142016

South Carolina governor Nikki Haley delivered the Republican response to the president’s State of the Union address and a lot of Republicans are livid. To be fair, many Republicans were supportive, but the racist wing of it freaked out.

Haley said the GOP were partly responsible for our nation’s problems. Uh oh! Then she said the party needs to calm down regarding immigration. That’s when everything hit the fan and splattered all over the ceiling. Republicans are still smarting over Haley’s removal of the hate flag from her state capitol’s grounds.

Nikki Haley was born to a Sikh Indian family in South Carolina. Ann Coulter tweeted that Donald Trump should deport her. She’s as American, if not more, than you, Ann. Where ya’ gonna deport her to? And I didn’t realize Trump had deportation authority.

Rush Limbaugh, that jolly pill-popping bastard, said “this is to me one of the greatest bits of evidence that the Republican party is not just anti conservative but it is very much pro elite.” Good news, Rusho. You’re wrong. You’re party is still warm and inviting to racists everywhere. Apparently if you’re not a knuckle-dragging troglodyte you’re an elitist.

Her message was primarily aimed at Donald Trump and to a lesser extent, Ted Cruz. Trump responded that Haley is weak on immigration and that he’s leading the polls in her state.

Ted Cruz didn’t respond to her speech as he was too busy watching Canadian curling.

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State Of The Union Guest


cjones01132016

The capture of ten U.S. sailors by Iran was a huge distraction during Obama’s last State of the Union address.

In reality, a fundamentalist religious extremist was invited. Kim Davis, the gay-hating Kentucky clerk was in attendance. The other conservative religious lunatics in attendance didn’t have to be invited as they’re all Republican members of Congress.

The one hateful zealot who skipped the address was Ted Cruz. He was too busy campaigning for the office he’s disrespecting.

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David Bowie


cjones01122016

I used a cliche in a cartoon to criticize cliches in cartoons. I wonder if Bowie would have been amused by that.

I was finishing up my cartoon last night/this morning when I saw the news Bowie had passed away at age 69. There was already an obit cartoon for Bowie this afternoon, followed by another and then another. There were pearly gates and star men out the wazoo.

I really hate memorial cartoons. They’re not creative and they’re usually the first idea the cartoonist can come up with, which is always the most obvious idea. I’ve done my share of these cartoons over my 25 year career, but I don’t have to anymore. I do realize that editors and even readers love them. The more obvious the better. The former editor of my former newspaper once told me a memorial cartoon was his all time favorite which really disgusted me. I thought this guy can have a serious affect on my career and he doesn’t know the difference between a good cartoon and very lazy shitty one.

The thing that really bothers me about doing a memorial cartoon for Bowie is that he went against the grain. He was an original. Do you really think the best way to honor the artist and genius is to draw him as starman walking through the pearly gates? Wait for all those “knockin’ on Heaven’s door” cartoons when Dylan dies. It’s gonna be brutal. Hang in there, Bob!

I admit, I’m not a huge Bowie fan. I am a Bowie appreciator. You have to recognize the guy was a genius. A genius who could poke fun of himself and wasn’t always uptight. I was aware of Bowie when I was a kid, and Under Pressure with Queen gave me a new appreciation for him. Let’s Dance featuring the guitar playing of Stevie Ray Vaughn really brought him to my attention. China Girl still gets my rocks off. There’s no denying the guy could write, had a great voice…a very distinctive voice.

I was once told that I resembled David Bowie. Don’t laugh. That was over 30 years ago so it probably doesn’t apply today. I will end on the note that Bowie’s real last name is Jones.

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Militant Wishlist


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I really wanted to include tampons, which is on the Militants’ wishlist, but I was afraid that would scare off newspapers from running this cartoon.

The anti-government gun nuts occupying the federal bird sanctuary in Oregon have sent out a wishlist. On the list is stuff like underwear, blankets, hot dogs, radios and tampons. They’re also asking for cigarettes and money. It sounds like they weren’t prepared at all for their takeover.

Meanwhile, before El Chapo was captured actor Sean Penn got to interview him in person. This has angered a lot of people who believe Sean Penn shouldn’t be hanging out with the leader of a drug cartel who’s one of the most wanted men in the world.

Those who are most offended are Mexican journalists. Drug cartels have killed journalists in Mexico. Sean Penn’s interview for Rolling Stone is a slap in their face as El Chapo got final approval of the article before it was printed. That’s a luxury I doubt Rolling Stone has ever extended to Pearl Jam.

Sean Penn is not a journalist and if with practices like this, Rolling Stone is losing any credibility it had left as a source of journalism.

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Occupying Alabama


cjones01092016

Gay marriage is legal through all of the United States of America. The U.S. Supreme Court, one out of three branches of government, says so. The reason I’m stating is this because apparently not everyone has received the information.

Take the chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. This Bama bunghole directed all local judges in his state to stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

Roy Moore is a religious wack job and has used his position on the bench to heap his religious views upon the citizens of Alabama. Last February he expressed concern about federal courts stepping on Alabama and wrote “have always recognized the biblical admonition stated by our Lord.” He’s also argued the state should keep children away from gay parents. He supports public prayer but only if it’s Christian.

As chief justice he installed a Ten Commandments monument at the court house and was then thrown off the court for refusing to remove it. He was later elected back to the bench.

We can expect Moore to be found in contempt and maybe even removed once again. That should be fun.

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Jumping The Birthers


cjones01082016

Ted Cruz is cartoon gold. Not Donald Trump gold, but kind of a creepy fake gold that turns your neck green if you put it on you. The man is ridiculous.

Donald Trump, who waged a “YUGE” birther campaign against President Obama and now doesn’t want to talk about it, is bringing up the issue regarding Ted Cruz. Cruz says that Trump is “jumping the shark” by bringing it up. The term “Jump the shark” is a pop culture reference to when something starts to suck. It’s from Happy Days and when Fonzie jumped the shark many people consider that the point the show stopped being good.  If that’s the case, Trump jumped the shark during his announcement that he’s running for president.

Ted Cruz is an American. He was born in Canada to an American mother and a father who’s a deranged lunatic from Cuba. Ted Cruz says the legal issues regarding a “naturalized citizen” running for president has been settled. No it hasn’t.

The most peculiar thing is the large number of Republicans who believe Obama is not an American-born citizen, yet support Ted Cruz who was definitely not born in the United States. Hypocrisy knows no bounds. Neither does stupidity.

So why do many Republicans wage a birther campaign against Obama, who was born in America, and look the other way and even support Ted Cruz, who was born in Canada? The most innocent answer to this is that it’s blind, hypocritical, partisan politics. At the very worst it’s racism.

Which one is it?

 

 

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