Political Cartoon

Mr. President-Elect

CNN11092020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

In fact, for this week’s newsletter. I drew TWO cartoon.

In the first cartoon, I wanted to show the contrast between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. I’ve seen a few other cartoonists do this also.

With Biden, you have a president-elect calling for unity. He’s already building his government.

In Donald Trump, here’s a man refusing to concede and engaging in wild conspiracy theories in order to cling to power. In firing his Defense Secretary, he’s dismantling his government. For their part, the GOP is enabling him. They keep saying we need to count every “legal” ballot, ignoring the fact we don’t have an abundance or any clear signs there are illegal ballots. It’s not like you go to a restaurant and say you only want food that’s not from a human carcass. That’s a given, right?

In 2016, Hillary Clinton conceded and President Obama invited Donald Trump to the White House. President Obama got the wheels rolling for the transition. He handed over the keys. Trump’s administration is refusing to cooperate with the president-elect’s transition team. In doing so, Donald Trump is proving he doesn’t care about the best interest of the nation.

When Trump was in Obama’s White House, President Obama said he wanted Trump to succeed because when he succeeds, “we all succeed.” Trump’s actions today show he’s not just wishing Biden to fail, he’s trying to make him fail.

Every presidential race has a loser. Most of those losers distinguish themselves with some dignity. Donald Trump doesn’t know how to do dignity. It doesn’t know how to afford people the generosity and privilege that’s been extended to him. Donald Trump is incapable of behaving like an adult. Donald Trump was a sore winner in 2016. In 2020, he’s distinguishing himself as a sore loser.

The same people who are crying about voter fraud in 2020 never proved it when they cried “voter fraud” in 2016. In fact, Donald Trump created a special commission to investigate voter fraud which failed to find any and quietly disbanded after working as a government agency acquiring voter roll data for the Trump Campaign. Fact.

Now, the same lawyers who are going to litigate voter fraud accusations are the same jerks who can’t differentiate between the Four Seasons Hotel and Four Seasons landscaping next to a Philadelphia dildo store (which should be called “Philadelphia dildos”). The leader of this legal team is the same jerk caught with his hands literally down his pants in a hotel room, with what he thought was a teenage girl, in a Borat movie. Do you want an investigation? Let’s investigate that. Screw missing ballots in Michigan. Rudy, why were you in a hotel room having drinks with a teenage girl while lying down with your hand down your pants? Kudo’s to Borat.

Also, if you run into Rudy, you have another reason besides Covid 19 to bring hand sanitizer.

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As for polls: Dammit, pollsters.

I spent four years defending your polling asses. In 2016, the polls weren’t off. The race was in the margin of error. The polls were pretty accurate in each state. What was off were the predictions.

This time however, they were off. National polls had Biden ahead way outside the margin of error. While plenty of states were tight, like Florida, North Carolina, Arizona, Texas, Ohio, and even Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Michigan were way off. Those states gave Biden a huge lead.

Even though I knew they were mostly counting election day ballots on election night, I knew the were polls were wrong. Way wrong.

If you’re like me, a journalist who’s been reading the polls on a daily basis, you’re kinda pissed. This is a resource for me. I like my resources to be…what’s the word? Oh yeah. RESOURCEFUL!!!

These polling agencies need to figure out what they’re doing wrong. Maybe start with not only calling people with landlines anymore. That’s like taking a poll of people who don’t have the internet. And why can’t they call cell phones? People are calling me everyday on mine to ask about the warranty on the car I don’t have.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Arrivederci, Cheeto

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The Donald Trump experiment is over and even though it’s been four years, it was a failure from day one.

On day one, the very first thing that a President (sic) Donald Trump did was send his spokesgoon, Sean Spicer, out to lie to the American public about crowd sizes.

The very first official business of this president (sic) was to lie to the people he served about something petty that only served his fragile ego.

Donald Trump has much to be insecure about. He’s not very smart. He’s not well-liked. He’s not a successful businessman. He wouldn’t have ever been successful with women if he wasn’t rich. He’s not attractive. He’s losing his hair. He’s overweight. He’s not a good president (sic) or even barely capable. He can’t grasp facts. And most of all, he’ll never be as good as President Obama. Now Donald Trump has so much more to be insecure about.

Donald Trump lost the popular vote…TWICE!!! He’s only the 11th president to lose his reelection bid (out of 45). He’s the first one-termer since George H. W. Bush. And on top of all that, he was impeached. But bad presidents should only serve one term. Donald Trump was lucky to last that long.

The Trump presidency (sic) has been one of lies, grifting, and corruption. It’s been reported his businesses have made over $8 million from the presidency. We never saw his taxes. It was fitting that he received the news that Joe Biden won the election while he was one of his golf courses.

Now, as a former president (sic), he’ll still be able to charge his Secret Service protection rent, room and golf cart rentals, and for sandwiches from the Trump clubhouse. But, he won’t be able to charge the government as much. And the pandering from corporations, foreign nations, and anyone else who needed to cater his ego for government business will all fade away because now, Donald Trump can’t do anything for them.

Donald Trump will now get a book deal for a book he’ll be incapable of writing. He’ll also be paid to give speeches for people who want to be barked dog whistles in an incoherent manner. That is, if Donald Trump can stay out of prison…or avoid those mystery creditors he owes over $400 million to.

Jimmy Carter has used his life as a former president to build houses for the poor. George W. Bush paints. Bill Clinton has built a massive charity. Barack Obama has worked to inform and build a political base to help this nation progress. Donald Trump will spend his life as a former president (sic) enriching himself. It’s what he did before he was president (sic). It’s what he did as president (sic). It’s what he’ll do as a former president (sic).

That is, until he runs again in 2024. The only thing that may stop him from running will be if he can afford to run. He may have to spend the entire time saving his ass.

And since Donald Trump never had anything impressive to impress us, he had to make shit up, like crowd sizes. But when it comes to crowd sizes, Donald Trump will never see one supporting him as large as those celebrating his ouster.

The entire world was waiting for Donald Trump to be fired. They celebrated in Washington, DC, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Atlanta, and in other cities across the United States. What may have stung most were the crowds celebrating in his hometown of New York City. Times Square hasn’t seen crowds like it did Saturday since the pandemic began.

When I was in Times Square last June, it was just me, my slice, and some hungry pigeons. There were also some city workers going into the sewers who didn’t appreciate my C.H.U.D. jokes. But on Saturday, it looked like the Times Square of old, where there was NOT a celebration when Trump “won” the presidency. And it didn’t stop there. The party went international.

There were celebrations in London, Paris, Berlin, Edinburgh, Glasgow, and throughout all of Europe. There were fireworks, champagne, and the ringing of church bells. The only cities that were glum about it were Moscow, Pyongyang, and Tel Aviv.

Finally, Donald Trump…we’re impressed with a crowd size in your honor. Ain’t no party like a Trump just got fired party.

Creative note: Since a couple of people have brought up how much work it must have taken to draw this crowd…multiply that by two. After Laura proofread the cartoon, she told me the crowd should be wearing masks…and that I’ll probably hate her for pointing that out. She was right. I hate her. She was also right about the mask. In most videos and pictures of these celebrations, the crowds aren’t like Trump rallies. They’re wearing face masks. When I was in Washington last week, the majority of people I saw protesting on Black Lives Matter Plaza were wearing face masks. So, after drawing all the faces, I had to go back and erase and draw in face masks…then I had to color them.

I actually love Laura but I still kinda hate her.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Wake Me Up Before You Go Go

cjones11072020

How are you feeling this morning? I’m actually feeling pretty good compared to how I felt when I went to bed just a few short hours ago.

Donald Trump was leading in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. When I woke up, he had lost the lead in Michigan and Wisconsin. Honestly, it looks like Biden is going to take those.

What am I worried about? First, that Trump somehow pulls it out. I’m worried that even if Biden wins, Trump fights it to the courts and in the state legislatures. He’s calling vote counting “fraud.” He’s declared himself the winner even though they’re still counting. I’m worried about this country because no matter the outcome, it’s seriously divided. I’m worried about this country because no matter what, half of it isn’t just racist like they were four years ago. They’re OK with baby jails and a man-child playing president who lied to them while a virus killed over 230,000 people. They’re OK with a guy who wants the nation divided.

If I was going to select the kind of place I wanted to live in, it wouldn’t be this place. But it is this place. I was born here. I’m going to fight for it…just like I have been for the past four years.

I think Biden’s going to win but keep in mind, I’m a cartoonist. But, looking at the polls, you’re doing just as well to listen to me as you are listening to them. Also, I was wrong four years ago.

Yes, this nation is pretty much screwed but I’m not jumping yet.

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Live Blog 2020, Post #12

LiveBlog12

Counting votes does not invalidate the votes that have already been counted. And you can’t argue that counting votes in Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin after midnight is fraud while demanding that votes continue to be counted in Arizona. You also can’t bitch about Democrats unleashing their lawyers while also arguing that you’re going to the Supreme Court.

Seriously? We may have “reelected” this?

Ugh. I’m done. Thank you for staying up with me and reading the live blog. I appreciate all the comments, likes, and shares. You rock.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the live blog, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Rudy Colludy

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Rudy is still at it. Despite the arguments during Donald Trump’s impeachment hearings that everything was on the up-and-up with their asking Ukraine for election help, Rudy is still mining that nation for fools gold.

Now, Rudy has acquired a laptop he claims belongs to Hunter Biden. He took it to The New York Post with a shady story no other news outlet would accept. This story didn’t even land on Fox News first. Hell, even the National Enquirer didn’t go for it.

Basically, there’s an email in the laptop supposedly between Hunter Biden and an official from Burisma, the Ukrainian energy company Hunter worked for, that claims a meeting was held between him and then-Vice President Joe Biden in 2015. Yet, there is no evidence or public records of any such meeting. A vice-president’s schedule is usually on a public record. Yet, for some stupid reason, the FBI is still investigating it. Maybe because Donald Trump is screaming for his political opponent to be arrested, even though he can’t specify any crimes.

The reporter who wrote the story refused to have his name attached to it. Other journalists at the Post have protested their publication’s running of a story that doesn’t meet journalistic ethic requirements…and this is The New York Post.

The back story is: An owner of a computer repair shop in Delaware claims the laptop was dropped off by Hunter Biden, but his eyesight is poor so he’s not sure Hunter dropped it off. It could have been the Cookie Monster for all he knows. The computer was water damaged and for some reason, there’s no story about Hunter or anyone returning to retrieve the computer. Then, the owner saw the email and contacted Rudy Giuliani.

There’s a lot that smells here. The owner of the shop went through the private emails on the hard drive? The owner of the shop gave the hard drive or computer to be used politically? And, the owner doesn’t know who his customer is? If you live in Delaware, find out where this computer repair shop is and NEVER EVER EVER EVER give them your business.

Also, Hunter is a rich dude. Typically, if a laptop messes up or is seriously damaged, you’d just trash it, even way back in 2015. I’m a poor dude and I have three useless laptops in my closet. The only reason a guy like Hunter Biden would take a laptop in to be repaired would be because there’s something important on there he needs, and it wouldn’t be emails because you can just get those off whichever server you’re using. But, that can’t be the case because he never returned to pick it up. The story about dropping it off at a repair shop doesn’t make sense.

It doesn’t make sense The New York Post ran with it. The only story the press should run with this is that the guy we used to call “America’s mayor” and who is a former federal prosecutor, is now pushing bogus crazy uncle Qanon-type conspiracy theories. What has Rudy Colludy done now? Rudy’s even saying that America needs to know this Hunter Biden laptop story, even if it’s not true.

Hey, America needs to know that Rudy Giuliani married his second cousin, whether it’s true or not. Spoiler alert: It’s true.

Is this how Rudy used to prosecute cases? Your Honor, we don’t know who did it, who owns the laptop, if there was a meeting, and if there was, what it was about, and we don’t have any reliable witnesses…but we think there was somebody who did something bad and Joe Biden is connected to it somehow…I have a feeling about these sorts of things, also…I need a DNA test on some demon sperm.

It doesn’t make sense the FBI is investigating the story. Are they going to investigate chemtrails next? Maybe the FBI should look into the Qanon theory about cannibalistic pedophiliac Democrats worshipping Satan.

It doesn’t make sense Rudy hasn’t been arrested…or the computer shop owner. Rudy is running around with stolen property. Now, there are reports he’s taking it to a local police department in Delaware which also doesn’t make sense if the FBI is already on it. Also, why doesn’t that police department arrest Rudy as soon as he shows up with stolen property? And Rudy can’t say he’s holding onto it for evidence because Rudy is no authority. He’s a private citizen…who’s insane.

Rudy isn’t just on Trump’s leash. He’s on Putin’s. America’s mayor is now Putin’s poodle.

What else doesn’t make sense is that Jeffrey Toobin story… Yeah, that’s just weird. Who does that?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Find The Thug

cjones06022020

I can’t claim to totally understand race issues in our country. But I understand enough to know that you have to be able to identify racism before you can start to understand race issues.

For example: The president (sic) of the United States doesn’t see his own hypocrisy when it comes to race. He didn’t just endorse white gun nuts storming Michigan’s state capitol building. He egged them on. He tweeted to the governor of that state to “make a deal” with the protesters because they were “good people” who are angry. Contrast that with protesters in Minneapolis. Donald Trump tweeted, “When the looting starts, that’s when the shooting starts.” Those in Michigan wearing MAGA shirts with signs saying they want haircuts, and a few with nooses and Nazi imagery, were “good people” to Donald Trump. Those in Minneapolis are “thugs.”

In case you’re a Republican, “thug” is the new N-word. Oh, wait, if you’re a Republican, you already know that. It’s why you use it so often.

I don’t totally understand looting. I don’t condone looting and vandalism. But I do realize it is a form of protest. If you argue it’s not, then I encourage you to take a history course and refresh your memory on the Boston Tea Party. Even then, the white rioters dressed up as minorities. You’re upset about looting and vandalism but you were also pissed off about the black football player taking a knee. Donald Trump said “fire that son of a bitch.” Donald Trump never said to strike a deal with Colin Kaepernick, who is still unable to get a job in the National Football League.

There is a huge problem with race in this nation. Direct evidence of that is the fact Donald Trump is president. Donald Trump is a racist. If Donald Trump isn’t a racist, then what the hell qualifies as racism?

Over 30 million people in this nation voted for Donald Trump in 2016. About that many say they’ll vote for him again in 2020. People who vote for Donald Trump wonder why racism is problem in this nation while racism isn’t a deal-breaker for them. They wonder why racism is a problem while they support a man who shouts “send them back” to their “shithole countries.”

People say the racist cop who killed George Floyd is an exception. Not all police are racists. We should trust the police. Then, the Minnesota State Police arrest a black journalist (leaving the white ones untouched) then later state they let him go after verifying his credentials. Yet, he was on TV showing them his credentials. That was not one cop lying about arresting a black journalist. That was the entire department lying about arresting a black journalist. The lie was the State Police’s official statement. Tell me again why we can trust the police? They can’t even stop lying during a race riot. Do you want to solve race problems and distrust with the police? Start by being honest.

It took days for there to be charges against the cop who killed George Floyd. Even then, there are only two charges. Black Americans know if the shoe was on the other foot, it wouldn’t have taken days for there to be charges and there would be a lot more than two. They also understand that as deals are made, charges are reduced. As one black American pointed out on CNN last night, A black suspect will start with 15 charges and hope to get down to two. With George Floyd’s killer, he’s already at two. What’s it going to be reduced to?

And you wonder why cities are burning. The entire system is broken in this nation.

Before you can fight racism, you have to be able to spot it. White America is failing.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.