New York

Fuhgeddaboudit, Giuliani


Cjones04142021

To be honest, it wasn’t very important that I draw this cartoon. On a normal day, I try to pick the most talked about issue, or maybe the most important…or what I think readers should be talking about. And then there are days like this…where it’s just too much fun. But the reason this isn’t that important is because Andrew Giuliani has zero chances of becoming governor of New York. It’s not going to happen.

Andrew Giuliani is the son of Rudy Giuliani. Fortunately for him, his mother is not his father’s cousin. That was his first wife. Andrew first came to fame during his dad’s mayoral inauguration in 1994, when he was a child. He was repeating the oath his father was taking, blew kisses to the cameras, mimicked his father’s hand gestures, and shouted, “It should be so and it will be so!” His actions were spoofed by David Letterman and Chris Farley impersonated him on Saturday Night Live.

Over the past four years, Andrew had a position in the White House where he was Special Assistant to the President (sic) and Associate Director of the Office of Public Liaison. He was really just hired to play golf with Trump. He’s a former professional golfer. Taxpayers paid Andrew $95,000 a year to play golf with Trump. While John Kelly was Chief of Staff, he blocked Andrew’s access to the West Wing.

The only reason Giuliani got his job in the White House is because his father was Trump’s buddy and personal lawyer. Is that a conflict? Probably. Unfortunately for Andrew, no one is going to give him his next job because his daddy is Rudy Giuliani.

I’m sure in the past, being Rudy’s kid was an all-access pass to a lot of good shit. Now, it might be a hindrance. Over the past four years, Andrew’s daddy, with his crazy conspiracy theories, public farting, melting hair dye, and press conferences in the parking lots of dildo shops, is a national laughingstock.

What’s also laughable is Andrew thinks his connections to Trump and his daddy will help him in liberal New York. Sure, Governor Andrew Cuomo is in hot water with scandals over nursing home deaths and accusations of heavy flirting to sexual assault. But, if Cuomo runs for reelection, a GOP nomination of Andrew Giuliani would surely get Cuomo reelected…if he’s the Democratic nominee.

Andrew Giuliani is still thinking over the idea of running for governor. Andrew needs to think on this one really hard…if a Trump is capable of thinking hard, because he has a less chance of being governor than…

The Rent-is-too-Damn-High guy. Jimmy McMillan is a New Yorker who has run for governor, mayor of New York City, and maybe president, though he never appeared on any state ballots. During the 2010 governor’s race, he ran on the campaign of the “rent is too damn high.” A lot of people laughed at him even though they all agreed. The rent is too damn high. McMillan’s party is the Rent Is Too Damn High Party. He’s the chairman and maybe the only member. Unfortunately, McMillan is also a Trumper. Ew. But, he still has a better chance of becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani. Andrew also has less of a chance than…

Mr. Stay-Puft. Despite being sent by Gozer, (also known as Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Gozer the Traveler, Volguus Zildrohar and Lord of the Sebouillia) fighting the Ghostbusters, and even stepping on a church in the process of trying to destroy the planet…Mr. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man still has a better shot at becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani. In fact, Gozer’s demi-god minions, Vinz Clortho, the Keymaster, and Zull, the Gatekeeper, have better shots than Andrew Giuliani…even if they are in the forms of ugly dogs. And if ugly doggy demi-gods have a better shot at moving to Albany than Andrew, then so does…

Anyone who has ever been honked at while walking across a street in New York City and shouted back, “I’m walking heah.” Here’s a fact: I have shouted, “We’re walking here,” in New York City. It was partly as a joke while in Manhattan while I was also being serious. While walking with Black Lives Matter, some fuckers started dropping water bottles on the protesters. So, I shouted, “We’re walking here” which a lot of fellow marchers approved of. The cops just shrugged off that we were being assaulted by dropped water bottles. Another fun fact: I’ve never seen the movie, “Midnight Cowboy.” My proofer, Laura, mentioned that movie while finding the boo-boos in today’s cartoon, and I thought she was referencing the other cowboy in this cartoon, who also has better odds of becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani. Who? I’m talking about the…

Naked Cowboy. Robert Burck is the Naked Cowboy. He busks in Times Square where fortunately, he’s not really naked. He is wearing tighty-whities though which isn’t much better. He’s also a former porn star, presidential candidate for the Tea Party and…ugh…a Trumper. Still though, he has a better shot than Andrew just like…

Anyone playing for the Mets has a better shot…despite the fact the Mets suck. When asking where to take a very smart girl on a date, Ross Geller told Joey Tribbiani to take her to the Met to which Joey replied, “The Mets suck. You wanna see the Yankees.” Unfortunately for Joey, Ross was talking about the Metropolitan Museum of Art. But, Joey would still be a better governor than Andrew…even with a campaign of “How you doin’?” and “Joey doesn’t share food.” Even Joey’s duck has a better chance than Andrew…just like…

Whoever’s making the boneheaded decisions for The New York Jets. These guys drafted a quarterback in the first round three years ago…whom they just traded so they can draft another quarterback in the first round. The Jets haven’t had a first-round pick for a QB work out since 1965. Whoever’s running the Jets this week, or next, has a better shot at becoming governor than Andrew. But maybe the job of running the Jets should be taken over by someone else who can also beat Andrew, and that would be…

Pizza Rat. Pizza Rat couldn’t make worse calls for the Jets, is more likeable than any Giuliani, and knows a good slice when he sees one. Did you know New York City is the third most rat-infested city in the nation? They probably dropped from first place after the Trumps moved to Florida. Also, Pizza Rat knows how to eat a slice while Donald Trump does not and chose to use a knife and fork while dining with Sarah Palin. Pizza Rat probably has better dining partners than Trump too. Who lives near Pizza Rat, would make a better dining partner, and has a better shot at becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani? Why none other than…

C.H.U.D. What? What’s a C.H.U.D? Who’s a C.H.U.D? Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are former humans who were mutated by radioactive materials illegally disposed of in the sewers. They’re nasty. They were the basis of a cult 1980s movie. Their main legacy may be slang for when you’re about to go out with someone, and your friend replies, “Girl, you don’t wanna date him. He’s a total C.H.U.D.” If someone thinks you look like a C.H.U.D, it’s not good. Though if you called Andrew Giuliani a “C.H.U.D,” C.H.U.D. would probably find that insulting. Still, being called a “C.H.U.D.” is better than getting, “girl, you don’t wanna go out with him. He’s a total Matt Gaetz.”

Every time I have ever used the word, “C.H.U.D,” I’ve had to explain it. Even in Manhattan to guys going down into the sewers.

While strolling near Times Square, after having a slice I did NOT eat with a knife and fork or steal from a rat, I saw some workers going into the sewers and I said, “Watch out for C.H.U.D.s!” They just looked at me like I was weird. One of the workers asked, “What’s a Chud?” I said, “You know…the movie? C.H.U.D? Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers?” I just got blank stares. It seems to me that if your job entails going into New York City sewers, then you wanna be familiar with C.H.U.D….who also has a better shot at becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani…and better dates than Matt Gaetz.

Also, why do Andrew Giuliani, Eric Trump, and Matt Gaetz all have the same teeth? People who draw caricatures notice these things.

Creative note: I drew a rough of this last Thursday and showed it to CNN, knowing we weren’t going to use it because it’s not a big issue. But, we had a lot of fun with it exchanging emails back and forth on the cartoon. One of my editors suggested I use Mr. Stay-Puft.

I was originally going to draw and publish this Sunday, but it was a lot of work. So I drew and published something else yesterday and then got to work on the lettering and template for this cartoon. When I woke up, I just had to draw it…and ended up changing a few more things. Also, I kinda wish I had used George Costanza somewhere. I could have used, “I won a contest.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Gopher His Balls


cjones02262021

When Donald Trump was running for president in 2016, he promised he would release his taxes returns to the public. He repeated the promise over and over while not delivering on it. After he won the election, he said screw it and that nobody could see them, nobody had the right, and claimed the public was OK with it because they had elected him without seeing them in the first place, ignoring that the majority of voters did not vote for him.

One of Trump’s excuses for not showing his taxes was that he was under audit. He was always under audit and lied that you can’t show your taxes to the public during an audit…despite the fact other presidents and candidates have done that.

Over time, some of his taxes leaked here and there and there are mysteries. Mysteries like, how did someone get so rich while losing so much money? How many porn stars has he paid off? Are hair transplants a tax-deductible expense? How can you pay someone as a consultant while they’re also an employee and your daughter? And how can you claim in tax filings that a property has lost money while claiming its value has increased in loan applications? It boggles the mind.

What else boggles the mind is why so many were OK with Donald Trump hiding his income and the sources. Trump supporters loved to brag Donald Trump is a billionaire, almost as much Trump loved to make that brag. They argued him being rich was good for all of us because he’d use his business smarts in the interest of the country and soon, we’ll all be rich. Yay.

Yeah, that didn’t happen. Most poor white people don’t think they’re poor. They think they’re rich but the money just hasn’t come in yet. And as it turns out, Trump’s business smarts is all in grifting.

The thing is, maybe it’s important to understand how someone obtained their wealth. I mean, do you want a guy in office who got his wealth through fraud? Why don’t we just vote for mobsters? Or, do you think it’s an achievement when someone inherits wealth? As it turns out, Donald Trump did both. And when it came to debt, Donald Trump does understand personal and business debt. Government debt, not so much. Also, he didn’t care. His first big achievement was driving the deficit up to give himself a huge tax cut.

But when someone is in office and they’re still being paid from other sources, don’t you want to see what those sources are? Don’t you want to see who he owes money to? Don’t you want to know why Putin owns him? Don’t you want to understand that him not taking a salary while charging you for his golf outings is all a shell game? No? Because you’re a cult? OK, then.

I saw a post yesterday by someone highly upset the Supreme Court would dare hand Trump’s tax returns over to prosecutors. That’s some real sycophancy right there. You would have thought the government had audited Jesus.

Donald Trump has spent years bragging about his tax returns…and he’s spent years hiding them. He’s also been fighting New York prosecutors over access to them. Yesterday, the Supreme Court, with three Trump appointees on the bench (two stolen, one borrowed) allowed the Manhattan District Attorney to have access to Trump’s taxes.

Now, we’re going to find out about all those deductions for income losses while claiming property value has risen. We’re going to find out why he paid his daughter as an adviser while she was also an employee. We’re going to find out if he should be audited for a $72 million deduction he claimed. We’re going to find out if he should only have paid $750.00 in a tax year. We should find out how many porn stars he paid off.

Will we see these taxes? Yes, we will. No, we’re not supposed to and they probably won’t be seen from the DA’s office until they use it as evidence in a trial. But if Congress gets their hands on them, they’ll be leaked faster than Trump on a porn star. And it won’t even be the Democrats leaking the taxes. It’ll be Republicans.

The Republican Party is openly kissing Donald Trump’s ass while they secretly want him to go away. When they get his taxes, they’ll be leaked. Republicans have a more vested interest in destroying Donald Trump now than Democrats do.

Donald Trump is corrupt and he’s a cheater. This is a man who stole from charity and once swiped a child’s golf ball after the kid made a better shot than he did. Donald Trump is immoral without any principles. Hopefully, this is the beginning for Donald Trump to finally be held accountable.

Donald Trump wants four more years in the White House. I want at least four years for him in prison.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have NINE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Oh No, Cuomo


cjones02172021

Yesterday, a got an email from an editor in Georgia telling me since there are so many liberal cartoonists, that I should stop drawing liberal cartoons and start drawing conservative ones. This cartoon is not a response to that because I have a bit of integrity. As CNN’s Jake Tapper said regarding this story, “indecent behavior is indecent behavior, regardless of party.”

This may come as a huge shock to you since I am such a left-wing liberal, but I’m not tribal. I’m not partisan. I’m not a member of the Democratic Party. Corruption from Democrats is just as bad as corruption from Republicans.

If I was a conservative cartoonist, I would be jumping all over this while claiming the death rates from the coronavirus are all made up, except in New York, and that Donald Trump shouldn’t be blamed for anything in handling the pandemic. But I’m not a conservative cartoonist. I try to apply the same standards to both parties. If you’re a conservative cartoonist and you’re jumping on Cuomo but ignoring the failures of Florida’s governor, Ron DeSantis, you suck as a cartoonist.

I like the governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo. He receives a lot of criticism from liberals but I’ve always respected how outspoken and forward he’s come across. During the pandemic, he seemed to be the one political leader delivering straight information, not just to his New York constituents, but to the entire nation. Even though it seemed he made some bad calls regarding nursing homes in his state, he was still coming across as a politician taking the pandemic seriously while the president (sic) was talking about TV ratings and ingesting bleach.

In the early days of the pandemic, Governor Cuomo made a decision to send nursing home patients who had tested positive with the virus back to their nursing homes, in order to make much needed space in hospitals. It was an extremely bad call. More than 9,000 who tested positive were sent back. Over 10,000, many likely infected by the returning patients, died. The Attorney General of New York, Letitia James, said in a report last month that the true total is thousands higher. And now, we have found out there was an ongoing coverup in place.

Melissa DeRosa, one of the governor’s top aides, told Democratic lawmakers in the state that the Cuomo administration rebuffed requests from the Justice Department and state legislature for updated figures for deaths in nursing homes because of fear of a potential federal investigation. She said the administration “froze” when initially asked by state legislators back in August about the issue.

As it turns out, the administration undercounted deaths, possibly by 50%. There are calls in the state, and from Democrats who control the state legislature, to strip Governor Cuomo of his emergency powers that were given to him at the start of this pandemic. It gets worse. There are calls for Cuomo’s impeachment.

I can understand the Cuomo administration not wanting to give the Trump Justice Department anything that would have them investigated by corrupt people, in addition to being politicized by Donald Trump. Who wants to help with that? But you can’t hide deaths. Cuomo did exactly what Donald Trump did, which was undercount deaths. It’s bad when Trump does it. It’s just as bad as when Cuomo does it.

You cannot hide information, especially regarding deaths, because it looks bad on you, or you’ll get in trouble, or it’ll hurt you politically. Mistakes are one thing, coverups are entirely worse.

There needs to be an investigation of this, especially now that Donald Trump doesn’t control the Justice Department. The Biden administration should give this just as much attention as it would if it was a Republican governor.

I feel kinda bad because my last cartoon also contained a cemetery. That one, criticizing Republicans for letting Donald Trump off the hook, has been shared over 1,800 times on Facebook. This cartoon has been on Facebook for over 40 minutes and it’s received zero shares. We can’t always be partisan and tribal. We need to be responsible. Criticizing Andrew Cuomo over this proves we were being serious the last four years when we were criticizing Donald Trump.

Democratic corruption is just as bad as Republican corruption…even if it doesn’t happen as much.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Grim SCOTUS


cjones11292020

The biggest takeaway from the Supreme Court’s ruling that churches in New York can remain open, because placing restrictions on them is infringing upon their Constitutionally-protected religious freedom, is where the court will be years from now.

The court ruled on similar cases just a few months ago, and ruled 5-4, with Chief Justice John Roberts joining the liberals, that the government can place restrictions on churches. On Wednesday night, it was another 5-4 ruling, this time in favor of the churches and again, with Roberts joining the liberals.

The big takeaway here is that Amy Coney Barrett was the vote putting it over the top. The last time the court voted on this, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was on the court and actually understood the case.

The argument here is that New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, was being harder on churches than places like retail businesses. But the thing is, it’s not the same.

You don’t go to a grocery store to spend two hours parking your ass in one spot. You do that in church. It’s not comparable. The churches are complaining that Cuomo is singling them out for their religion.

Nobody cares about your religion other than to protect it. I don’t care if you go to mass for seven hours every night, dance in circles with snakes while speaking in tongues. You do you. But, I do care if you go to church and bring back your virus to the grocery store. Do you understand how that works? No?

Neither do five members of the Supreme Court.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Defund The NRA


cjones08092020

The National Rifle Association has been a very secretive organization for decades. They won’t publicize their funding or even how many members they have, but there is one thing we know about them. They’re evil incarnate.

For years, the lobbying group has controlled the Republican Party (also evil) and has succeeded in blocking even the lightest of gun regulations. As more and more Americans die from gun violence each year, including children from mass shootings at their schools, the NRA pushes for more guns in our society.

The NRA has advocated for semi-automatic weapons over the lives of children for years. The NRA has blood on its hands. The NRA labels every proposed gun regulation as an attack on the 2nd Amendment. The NRA has positioned itself as the 2nd Amendment. And for years, like every gun nut on the internet, the NRA ignores the part of the 2nd Amendment that mentions “regulated.”

The 2nd Amendment is the most sacred part of the Constitution to Republicans as they describe themselves as Constitutionalists and argue the Amendment shouldn’t be touched. But if they could, they’d take out the word “regulated.” Of course, the 2nd Amendment is the only amendment they’ve read.

Now, the state of New York is going to war with the National Rifle Association. New York isn’t just looking to put a hurting on the NRA. New York is out to obliterate the NRA.

New York Attorney General Letitia James filed a 168-page lawsuit with the state Supreme Court seeking to dissolve the NRA and claimed four of its top officials “funneled millions into their own pockets” and described the NRA as “a breeding ground for greed, abuse, and brazen illegality.”

The suit was followed by another by the Attorney General of Washington, D.C., who filed suit against the N.R.A. and its charitable foundation, alleging the NRA misused millions of dollars of the foundation’s funds. So the NRA has a charity…just like Donald Trump did.

It’s funny how Republicans chastised the Clinton Foundation for years as corrupt, without ever having proof. Today, the NRA is being sued for corruption and the Trump Foundation doesn’t exist anymore.

The NRA is countersuing New York, claiming its 1st Amendment rights are being attacked and the lawsuit is entirely political. Proving the 2nd Amendment is the only one they’ve read, there is nothing in the 1st that grants you the right to steal money.

The NRA was chartered as a non-profit in New York state 148 years ago though their headquarters are in Virginia outside the capital. The four top dogs in the NRA being sued are Wayne LaPierre, the longtime chief executive, John Frazer, the organization’s general counsel; Josh Powell, a former top lieutenant of LaPierre; and Wilson Phillips (not the 80’s group that sang “Hold on for one more day,” but that might be appropriate here), a former chief financial officer.

LaPierre is accused of raiding N.R.A. funds to bankroll an extravagant lifestyle, even after being paid millions in salary and benefits.

The suit says over six and a half years, a personal travel consultant for LaPierre was paid $13.5 million, largely on no-bid contracts. Private flights were chartered for LaPierre’s wife and his niece. He took frequent trips to the Bahamas on the N.R.A.’s dime, often decamping to a 108-foot yacht called “Illusions” (how appropriate) that was owned by an N.R.A. contractor and included a chef and four staterooms. He lavished gifts from Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman on his inner circle, and once put his niece up at a Four Seasons hotel for eight nights at a cost of more than $12,000.

The suit says the executives enriched themselves, their friends, families, and allies, and took improper actions that cost the organization $64 million over three years. The lawsuit seeks to ban the executives from EVER again serving on nonprofit boards in the state of New York. Hmm. Just like Donald Trump and his three oldest kids after using their fake charity in similar corrupt manners.

This is a civil suit and the state’s AG has referred it to the IRS. There may be a criminal referral in the future. They should probably keep their eyes on LaPierre who likes to visit the Bahamas a lot. We have an extradition treaty with that country, right? Psst. We do.

The NRA is evil. It’s so evil, Russia is a big advocate for it. Why would Russia, a nation with strict gun control laws, send spies to infiltrate the NRA? Because Russia knows the organization helps destabilize the United States. There are still investigations into whether the NRA was used by Russia to funnel money into Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Leading up to the 2016 election, the NRA was a Russian asset.

Donald Trump said about the investigation, “That’s a very terrible thing that just happened The N.R.A. should move to Texas and lead a very good and beautiful life.” The word “Beautiful” is one of Donald Trump’s big words which is included in nearly every Donald Trump statement but at least he didn’t pronounce Texas as “Thexas.” By the way, the NRA can’t move its organization while it’s under investigation.

In the past, the state Attorney General referred to the NRA as a “terrorist organization.” They do support easy access to gun by terrorists. In fact, they’ve lobbied to defend a terrorist’s rights to get guns.

LaPierre is also said to have secured for himself, without board approval, a post-employment contract worth more than $17 million. This guy has used the NRA to enrich himself, just like Donald Trump used his bogus charity to enrich himself. What will we learn next? That LaPierre used NRA funds to buy portraits of himself and Tim Tebow-signed football helmets?

The Attorney General’s office took down the Trump Foundation. It took down Trump University. Now, it’s gunning (pun intended) for the National Rifle Association.

Could we actually see the dissolving of two evil organizations in one year? This would be a much safer nation, to itself and the world, with the destruction of the NRA and the Trump administration.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Cuomo Vs. Trump


CNN03292020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has been criticized throughout his political career for being blunt and too direct. During a pandemic, that’s an asset.

Cuomo’s daily press conferences are carried live by CNN. You don’t have to be a citizen of New York to find his briefings helpful and informative. What he’s laying out is important to everyone in the nation. Andrew Cuomo is the right man for the job at this time. Then there’s Donald Trump who is the wrong man at the wrong time.

Donald Trump has always been the wrong man. He shouldn’t be president and he’s only in the White House because all the stars aligned in all the wrong places at all the wrong moments. It’s sucked to watch him disparage the office with his actions and behavior. It’s been painful watching him make lifetime appointments to courts with fucknuts, racists, troglodytes, and rapists. It’s been embarrassing watching a president tweet at Saturday Night Live, Meryl Streep, and Gold Star families over petty issues. It’s disgraceful to watch him attack allies while praising dictators. It’s been humiliating for a nation to watch a president open his mouth and confirm his stupidity, ignorance, sexism, and rank racism to the entire world. Now, his fawning over himself and protecting his petty ego is killing people.

While the nation needs to watch Andrew Cuomo’s daily press conferences, it should ignore Donald Trump’s. At one of these conferences, Trump yelled at a reporter for asking if he had a message to Americans who are afraid. At another, he heckled a reporter for Bloomberg News over Michael Bloomberg’s failed presidential campaign. He asked how Bloomberg was doing. I think it would have been worth that journalist losing his White House credentials by replying, “He’s still richer than you.” It doesn’t bother Trump that people are dying, but it bothers him that Bloomberg, or anyone else, is richer than he is.

Donald Trump has lied, downplayed, and been in denial over the pandemic. Today, he boasted about the ratings of his press conferences. He shouldn’t be looking at his ratings numbers. He should be looking at the number of deaths.

Soon, the United States will have more deaths from this “Chinese” virus than China. In case you’re a Republican, you already know the coronavirus originated in China because Donald Trump has called it the “Chinese virus.” Being racist yourself, you’ve joined in and have also called it the “Wuhan Virus” and “Kung Flu.” What you probably didn’t know is that China has more people than the United States. We shouldn’t have more deaths from this virus than China.

Andrew Cuomo has taken responsibility. Donald Trump has stated he refuses to take any responsibility. Donald Trump wants everyone to thank him for his job performance with the coronavirus.  For every single death in the United States, Donald Trump is responsible. We can thank him for that.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

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Bloomberg Get Frisky


cjones02182020

If Joe Biden’s opposition to busing in the 1970s hurt him in the 2020 Democratic primaries, then former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Stop-and-Frisk program should devastate him.

An audio clip surfaced of Bloomberg saying in 2015, that he deployed “all the cops in minority neighborhoods because that’s where they’ll find all the crime.”

Bloomberg went on to say, “Ninety-five percent of your murders and murderers and murder victims fit one M.O. You can just take the description, Xerox it, and pass it out to all the cops.” He said cops must be put “where the crime is, which means in minority neighborhoods.”

Then he added that the way to get guns off the street and out of kids’ hands “is to throw them up against the wall and frisk them.”

Donald Trump tweeted that because of this, Bloomberg is a racist. Then he deleted the tweet, probably after realizing his base supports throwing black kids up against the wall. Hell, Donald Trump supports throwing black kids up against the wall.

Bloomberg apologized for this policy right around the same time he announced his run for the presidency. Today, Donald Trump said he’s in favor of the program for which he called Bloomberg a “TOTAL RACIST.” Yes, with all caps.

Will this hurt Bloomberg, who’s been putting hundreds of his own millions into the race? God, I hope so.

Is he a total racist? I don’t think he’s a TOTAL racist. Is Donald Trump a TOTAL racist?

OH, HELL YES. And, with all caps.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Florida Buttman


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Is Donald Trump moving his permanent residence to Florida because of taxes, criminal investigations, or because New York hurt his feelings? Maybe a combination of all three. There are also the logistics of a former president living in a penthouse in Manhattan versus several acres of a golf resort.

If Trump wants to move where people actually like him, then he should consider Alabama and West Virginia. Of course, they like him now. Maybe after he moves in they’ll learn what New Yorkers already know. Donald Trump is a con artist and an asshole. You don’t want him.

New Yorkers are saying “good riddance” to Trump. And for Florida, it’s not like he’s bringing industry and jobs to your state. He’s just bringing his ass.

Maybe the one thing Trump doesn’t understand and no one has explained to him yet is that Florida and New York are in the same country. Extradition happens between states. So, if Trump is found guilty of crimes in New York, he will be arrested in Florida and shipped back north.

But for all the men who are competing to be “Florida Man,” they just got some very BIG competition.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Running Low On Blood Money


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The NRA is claiming they’ve lost tens of millions of dollars due to financial sanctions inflicted upon it by the state of New York.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has placed sanctions on the NRA for their Carry Guard insurance program, which covers legal costs stemming from self-defense shootings. New York says the program is illegal and the Department of Financial Services has also pushed firms not to do business with the NRA. They’re also urging other states to take similar measures against the gun advocacy group.

There’s a lot of skepticism of the NRA’s claim. The organization keeps its finances private as well as their number of members. This could be another fundraising stunt since they’re accusing Cuomo’s actions of being a political vendetta. Perhaps Russian spies have stopped financing the organization.

Instead of financially supporting the NRA in their hour of need, I suggest offers of thoughts and prayers.

Creative notes: This is a bonus cartoon because I might want to take another day off this weekend. It’s also why you’re getting a really short blog.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.

Schneiderman


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New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman resigned this week after four women accused him of physical abuse.

The women say Schneiderman had repeatedly choked, hit or violently slapped them, all without their consent during his tenure as Attorney General. These women were romantic partners with the 63-year-old Schneiderman and the abuse often occurred in bed.

Schneiderman has denied the allegations, but he resigned within three hours of the accusations becoming public. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo also called for his resignation after the article was published in The New Yorker.

I saw a lot of conservative trolls whooping and cheering about this and demanding that liberals criticize the guy, despite the fact liberals were already criticizing the guy. They also failed to notice that the information they were celebrating was obtained from the so-called fake news media. Of course, these are the same jerks who were silent about Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, and even Dennis Hastert. I am always amused at people exhibiting their hypocrisy while accusing others of hypocrisy.

Creative notes: This is a quickie cartoon I drew because there are other issues I feel I need to hit this week. I drew a quickie yesterday too. I am so far ahead, that since my files are dated, the readers at GoComics are going to believe I’m the last to cover an issue. I also felt this was too big of a story for me to miss. I don’t care if the guilty party is liberal or conservative. When I see wrongdoing, I’m going after it.

Here’s the video.

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