National Emergency

Trumpo Beto Veto


cjones03182019

Beto is in the race.

Are you excited? It seems a lot of people are despite the fact he’s sitting around five percent in the DNC polls. If you watched Beto O’Rourke yesterday, you can tell he’s excited. Beto was jumping on countertops in coffee houses and waving his arms around like he’s over-caffeinated.

Donald Trump noticed Beto’s excitement and pointed out how much he waved his arms around. Seriously. Donald Trump…talked smack…about someone else…waving their arms around. That would be like Trump criticizing someone for sexual harassment, except he’s done that and insulted people’s hair, energy, looks, for using executive orders, for not releasing their school records, for being racist, and he’s called other people liars.

Trump said, “I’ve never seen so much hand movement. I said, ‘Is he crazy or is that just the way he acts?'” I think a lot of people have said the exact same thing about Trump while commenting that it looks like he’s playing an invisible accordion.

I think it’s just the way Beto acts and Trump is the crazy one.

Trump will also get to use his first presidential veto as 12 Republicans joined Democrats in the Senate yesterday to block his national emergency faux crisis. In other news, the rest of the Republican Senate are not Constitutionalists.  They’re liars.

We’ve had over 30 national emergencies declared by presidents and not one of them was to steal money from government programs for something Congress refused to fund. This is unconstitutional. But as it’s already been pointed out, Republicans don’t believe in anything anymore as they’ve all joined a cult.

Beto will rise in the polls while Republicans and Trump will drop even further. Beto waves his arms around but he’s genuine. Trump and the GOP are phonies.

Yesterday Trump tweeted one word, “veto,” which is also bizarre. Trump tweeting a single word? It was one of those instances we can be pretty sure a staffer wrote the tweet. It was spelled correctly.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Watch the video.

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Fishy Emergency


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Please forgive me for not writing a column today, but I just spent eight hours drawing fish. I’d like to take a little time this weekend away from work, so for today…you’re just getting fish from me.

Creative notes: I love drawing sharks. Also, I drew this while listening to just about every song Tom Petty ever recorded and Verbana’s album, Into The Pink….twice.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

White House Simulators


cjones02202019

“Signing an executive order, giving a speech, and barnstorming around the country is not leadership.” Is that a direct quote from Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, or even Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Is it from one of the many Democrats currently running for president? Nope. It’s from Mike Pence in 2014.

Donald Trump wants to be a dictator. Do you really need examples? OK, here are just a few.

He praises dictators and attacks leaders of free nations. Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un, Recep Erdogan, Xi Jinping, and Rodrigo Duterte are great guys. Angela Merkel, Theresa May, and Justin Trudeau are treated like U.S. adversaries. He has questioned why we need to be a part of NATO, a military alliance with our allies.

He names things after himself. There is an entire Wikipedia page devoted to things Trump has named “Trump.” Trump Tower, Trump Hotel, Trump Plaza, Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Casino, Trump World Fair, Trump Castle, Trump Park Avenue, Trump Hollywood, Trump International Golf Club (17 of them), Trump the Game, Trump Style Magazine, Trump Magazine, Trump World Magazine, Trump Winery, Trump Spring Water, Trump Steaks, Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump….at what point does he attempt to have an international airport named after him (if case you’re a Republican, that would be “Trump International Airport”).

He wants to punish the media, loosen up libel laws, and install a government-operated propaganda outlet. He calls news he doesn’t like “fake news” and calls the press the “enemy of the American people.”

He wants to be on Mount Rushmore and has stated so more than once. Dictators love to erect statues of himself. None of the current occupants of Mount Rushmore, Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, or Teddy Roosevelt, placed themselves up there.

He believes he’s genetically superior to everyone else. He’s compared his genes to that of a racehorse, as though he’s a better horse than anyone else. He’s got the horse’s ass part right.

He wants to punish his political enemies by siccing the Justice Department on them. He’s openly expressed this on more than one occasion. He has fired people in the Justice Department investigating him and then attempted to ruin their careers and reputations. Look at James Comey, Peter Strzok, and Andrew McCabe (fired days before he would be eligible to collect his pension).

He claims elections that don’t go his way are rigged.

He believes courts shouldn’t rule against him and it’s unfair when they do, because he’s Donald Trump.

He literally told his supporters, “Don’t believe what you see and hear.”

He lies. Dictators lie. Unlike the way politicians usually lie, dictators lie about EVERYTHING, big and small. Trump has lied about the weather. He lies about his wealth. He lies about policy. When facts are thrown at him, even from other government sources, he tells his people not to believe them. AND, his people believe him because that’s another thing about being a dictator…

…he has a cult. People who support Trump abandon previously held principles. They echo whatever line Trump says, even if it contradicts yesterday’s line. Conservatives have stopped being conservatives for Trump. The majority of them talk and defend Trump more than policy. This is not a party. It’s a cult.

He’s insecure and creates huge fabrications for his image, much like a North Korean dictator would. While they will tell their people their leader doesn’t poop and can talk to dolphins, Trump lies about his popularity, praise, success, and even his height.

The height thing is a great example of Trump behaving like a dictator. If you’re a Trump sycophant, you’re going to think this is about Trump’s height. It’s not. Other than Donald Trump, nobody cares how tall he is.

Trump is a tall guy. He’s at least six feet tall. But for some reason, he has to be 6-foot-3. When you look at photos of Trump with people who are at least 6-foot-1, like President Obama, Trump is shorter. What’s frightening about the height lie is that he has government officials issuing, not just propaganda about it, but official reports. A doctor, two actually, employed by the government has lied about his height. Even Baghdad Bob didn’t lie about Saddam Hussein’s height. Hey, we’re kicking the U.S. army’s ass, driving them into the Persian Gulf, they’re surrending by the thousands, but Saddam’s still short. Actually, Saddam Hussein was 6-foo-1, still taller than Donald Trump.

But the greatest proof Donald Trump is acting like a dictator are actions Donald Trump has described as dictatorial.

In 2014, President Barack Obama issued executive orders on, wait for it…immigration. Obama was trying to shield millions of undocumented immigrants from deportation while providing them work permits. This is another difference between the two. Obama was trying to help people and had empathy. Trump’s wall is a hater policy meant to drive up fear and animosity with a rabid base.

Trump criticized Obama for not being able to make a deal with Congress and that his actions were unconstitutional and impeachable. Since taking office, Trump has issued executive order after executive order because he can’t get anything done with Congress except to give himself a massive tax cut.

Now, Trump wants to go farther than just issuing executive orders. Today, he plans to issue a national emergency so he can steal money designated for other programs, like disaster relief in liberal states and Puerto Rico (he plans to have a big ceremony where signs it with a Sharpie and then displays it for all to see, like a cat bringing home a dead mouse). He wants this money to build his border wall because he believes immigration is a national emergency. There is not a national emergency with immigration.

If there was a national emergency then Trump and the Republican congress would have provided funding for his racist border wall during his first two years.

It’s not a national emergency when immigration numbers keep going down every year. It’s not a national emergency because the majority of those in this nation illegally entered legally, not from crossing our border in the desert. It’s not a national emergency because the majority of drugs that enter our nation from Mexico enter through ports of entry. It’s not a national emergency when you spend months contemplating if it’s an emergency, and the funds you’ve been denied aren’t even enough to build the entire wall. It’s not a national emergency if you go to Palm Beach to play golf on the same day you declare a national emergency. It’s also not a national emergency when you’re telling your critics to “lighten up and have some fun.”

Trump’s emergency is that he broke a campaign promise. Mexico is not paying for the wall. His emergency is that he can’t negotiate with Congress and get what he wants. His emergency is that he caved to Nancy Pelosi. His emergency is that Pelosi is smarter and a better negotiator than he is. His emergency is that he doesn’t actually know how to negotiate. His emergency is that he turned down $20 billion because he didn’t want DACA to be a part of a deal, then turned down another deal last December, lost a shutdown fight, and is now signing a budget deal that’s giving him even less money. His emergency is that his pundit cabinet, consisting of Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, and Rush Limbaugh don’t want him to sign a deal with Democrats without getting $5 billion for a wall. His emergency is that his supporters might see he’s not really the man he claims he is.

And he’s not even six-foot-three.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

No.


cjones01152019

The word Donald Trump hates hearing the most is “no.” He especially hates hearing it from women, whether it’s, “No, you can’t barge into that teenage girls’ dressing room,” or from a female Speaker of the House saying, “No, you can’t have money for a racist, medieval vanity project.”

During the last session of negotiations with Democrats earlier this week, Donald Trump got up from the table and left the room after Nancy Pelosi told him no. He asked if he ended the shutdown now if he’d get his wall afterward. After not getting the answer he wanted, he reportedly slammed his fist on the table and stormed out. Trump had a temper tantrum.

Yesterday, Trump visited the border with Mexico in Texas. It was what he described to reporters earlier in the week as a “waste of time” and a photo opportunity. He said it wouldn’t do any good, but he was going anyway.

Speaking of a waste, those steel slats Trump has been boasting about can be hacked through with a typical saw you can purchase at Home Depot, or perhaps the ones Fisher Price makes. In a test by the Department of Homeland Security, military and Border Patrol experts were instructed to attempt to destroy the barriers with common tools. They succeeded.

While in McAllen, Texas, Trump sat at a table with border agents and victims of crimes, a display of methamphetamine and heroin, an AK-47 and an AR-15 rifle, and a trash bag stuffed with $362,062 in cash that had been confiscated by law enforcement officials. Trump claimed the display was evidence of a crisis as it had all been apprehended recently. The facts are actually quite different.

Trump said, “They didn’t have to go very far. This is all very recent.” However, the display of drugs, weapons, and cash was mainly the product of law enforcement actions stopping criminals at international bridges, where most drugs are smuggled, and conventional ports of entry. A wall, even one of steel slats wouldn’t have prevented the drugs and weapons from crossing the border. Even if they had crossed where there weren’t official entry points, border agents and their methods caught it, not a wall. Wouldn’t the evidence prove agents are doing a great job and a wall isn’t necessary?

In a place where a wall is already in place, law enforcement officials boasted of apprehending criminals who had built a tunnel. The money was taken from a suspect who had overstayed a visa. Who knew walls didn’t stop tunnels or people from overstaying their visas?

People who support the wall talk about how dangerous it is in Texas because of illegal immigrants. The fact is crime is at a 30-year low in McAllen, which is on the border.

Last year, more people who are the terrorist watch list were stopped at the Canadian border than the one with Mexico. This “crisis” is about race. It’s about brown people. In case you haven’t noticed, the only immigrants Republicans and Trump sycophants are fearmongering about are brown. Most drugs enter through ports of entry and most who are here illegally are those who have overstayed visas. Illegal border crossings have been going down steadily over the past decade. A wall is not the solution to a crisis that doesn’t exist.

Nancy Pelosi needs to keep telling Trump “no.” The wall is a waste, probably impossible logistically, and its blatant racism. “Build the wall” started as a memory trick to remind a dumbass at rallies to talk about immigration. The trick that worked on a stupid candidate now works on morons whose opinions on policy are created from racist rally chants. They’ve all forgotten the promise that Mexico was going to pay for the wall.

If you are one of the morons who support the Trump shutdown and you’re not a government employee, you need to hang on to your paycheck, don’t cash or deposit it, until federal workers are paid. If you can repeat the chant then you can share their pain. Right?

Pelosi and Democrats need to keep telling Trump “no.” When he asks again, repeat the answer. When he has a temper tantrum, say it again. When he lies to everyone about it and cast Democrats as the villains, say it again. No. No. No. No. Make him hear it in his sleep. No.

Is Donald Trump qualified to lead this nation? No. Is there a crisis? No. Will a wall work? No. Does Trump care about government workers missing their paychecks today? No.

Is Trump making America great again? Hell no.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

THE National Emergency


cjones01112019

Apparently, we’re under a “national emergency” that will allow Donald Trump to become a dictator. No. The emergency isn’t over the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Breakfast Club dancing video or a congresswoman dropping an F-bomb while talking impeachment.

Trump is threatening to declare a national emergency if Democrats don’t give him $5 billion to start his racist medieval vanity project in the form of a wall on the Mexican border. This move will be an attempt to raid the Defense Department’s budget, and maybe other departments, for his $5 billion. The man who considers himself a great negotiator is acting like a hostage negotiator with him being the one holding the hostages.

Declaring a national emergency is real popular with authoritarian leaders. It’s been used recently in Turkey, Egypt, and Venezuela to expand those leaders’ powers.

Illegal immigration is not the greatest threat or challenge for the United States. In fact, the number of people illegally crossing our southern border has been steadily decreasing every year since 2007. So, why is it a national emergency now?

If it’s such a national emergency, then why does the Trump administration feel the need to create lies over it? Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen stated Friday that “over 3,000 special interest aliens” trying to enter the U.S. from the southern border had been stopped by Border Patrol agents. This is a lie. Sunday, White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders ignored Fox News’ Chris Wallace as he laid out facts, and she upped the lie to 4,000 stopped.

No terrorist has been found entering through our southern border. The “special interest aliens” are people stopped in airports whether it’s because they’re on the no-fly list or they just look shady. A lot of these people weren’t even arrested. How does stopping people in airports justify a national emergency to build a 2,000-mile wall on our southern border?

How does illegal immigration justify a national emergency and a southern border wall when the majority of people in this nation illegally didn’t enter through our border with Mexico?

If it’s a national emergency, then why all this over $5 billion when the wall will ultimately cost between $30 billion to $70 billion?

How is this a national emergency if Mexico is going to pay for the wall?

Experts agree that a wall is ineffective and logistically impossible. It is simply a racist vanity project that makes right-wingers and racists feel warm and squishy inside. You don’t need facts or actual results to feel warm and squishy.

A national emergency isn’t immigration. It’s war, plague, climate change, or a humanitarian crisis.

Or, a national emergency is a racist president who attacks the First Amendment, the free press, incites hate crimes, defends Nazis, and is being controlled by Vladimir Putin.

Donald Trump is THE national emergency.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.