Moscow Mitch

OK Moscow


cjones12212020

For the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing cartoons from my conservative MAGAt colleagues blaming Nancy Pelosi for there not being a covid stimulus relief bill yet. They claim she played politics and wouldn’t allow one until after the election, all in order to hurt Donald Trump. This must be what they’re talking about on Fox News because I haven’t seen this from the genuine news outlets. These same MAGAt goons didn’t care that Trump played politics with the last relief bill by having his name stamped on stimulus checks.

After the Cares Act was passed last March, giving $2.2 trillion intended to help Americans hurt by the coronavirus pandemic, we knew it wasn’t enough. Though something is better than nothing, $1,200 only goes so far when you’re out of work. Millions of small businesses didn’t receive any relief with many going bankrupt. Even some businesses that did receive help eventually had to go bankrupt. In my neighborhood alone, I lost Duck Donuts, Paisano’s, Country Cookin’, and a pet supply store. But some Trump-owned businesses and Jared Kusher-owned businesses received stimulus checks, and reportedly, some mega churches received checks they used to purchase new private jets.

So conservatives are blaming Nancy Pelosi for there not being a second stimulus. But here’s a question for them: How many stimulus bills has the Republican Senate passed? Answer: Zero.

Why is Nancy Pelosi the bad guy when Mitch McConnell hasn’t passed anything? Not only has Mitch’s Senate not passed anything, he won’t even allow a vote. Why is Nancy Pelosi the bad guy when she’s allowed two votes on two additional stimulus bills…that passed only to die on Mitch’s desk?

House Democrats passed a $1.2 trillion relief package last May and a $2.2 trillion one last October. In case you’re a Republican, May and October both occur before November…when we had an election that Joe Biden won fairly…and when Trump lost.

And the one package that did go out included checks with Donald Trump’s name on them, which should be ANOTHER Hatch Act violation. That really swayed stupid voters who were still on the fence. The only thing Donald Trump should have his name on is failure, bankruptcies, divorces, and the virus.

Right now, the House and Senate are haggling over a $900 billion relief bill. According to reports, they’re slashing relief to states and cities mostly affected by the pandemic. Democrats initially sought $1 trillion specifically for states and cities. But you know how Republicans are…cities are liberal.

Rand Paul says no money should go to any cities or states that enacted restrictions to fight the virus. So basically, all relief money should go to Florida.

Senator Ron Johnson, who is holding hearings on fictional election fraud and still hasn’t recognized that Joe Biden is the next president blocked a vote on $1,200 stimulus checks saying, “We are mortgaging our children’s future. I think we need to be very careful about mortgaging it further when we aren’t doing it in a targeted fashion.” So he didn’t have any concerns about “mortgaging our children’s future” when he allowed permanent tax cuts to corporations and Donald Trump, but he cares about spending now? Oh, that means he does recognize Joe Biden will be the next president. Republicans only care about deficits and spending when they don’t control the White House.

Republican senator Pat Toomey is pushing for a provision that will limit the Federal Reserve’s emergency lending authority, a move designed to hurt the incoming Biden administration. And when they can’t lend and shit goes bad, Republicans can blame Biden for not helping anyone.

This new bill probably won’t be voted on in the House until Sunday afternoon. Republicans are still working on ways to remove help for the poor and include more gifts for rich billionaire assholes, like Donald Trump and Joel Osteen (who received $4.4 million in PPP loans), The package is expected to include money for vaccine distribution (which Trump is messing up) and schools (which Republicans will make fun of you for attending, especially if you get a doctorate), jobless benefits of $300 per week (which is a lot less than before), roughly $330 billion for small business loans (which will probably go to Trump companies and mega churches), and a new round of stimulus checks, which could be set at around $600 per individual under a certain income threshold. Last time, those checks were $1,200. In case you’re a Republican, 600 is less than 1,200.

They’re also bickering over an eviction moratorium…at Christmas. Republicans are evil. Hey, you may be on the sidewalk at Christmas, but you can at least say,”Merry Christmas.”

In addition to the relief package, Congress has to pass the yearly funding bill. On Friday, they passed a two-day extension to keep the government open, which 60 House Republicans voted against. 60 Republicans, who each probably support a Trump coup, voted for a government shutdown…at Christmas.

Republicans are evil.

Maybe we do need Vladimir Putin to tell Moscow Mitch it’s OK to pass a relief package. It’s not like he’s listening to us.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Putin’s Cue


cjones12172020

How bad is it that the Senate Majority Leader is behind the authoritarian leader of Russia in recognizing a democratically-elected president of the United States of America?

I understand Mitch McConnell has to appease a man-child and his followers, but he’s the leader of the Senate. He should be setting an example of how we do things in a democracy. We don’t allow our politicians, courts, or lawyers to elect our presidents…unless there’s a tie…or Florida fucked things up. OK, we hardly ever allow politicians, courts, and lawyers to elect our leaders. We normally allow voters, the citizens of this nation to do that.

When Trump defeated Clinton, he claimed his margin of victory was a landslide and unlike any this nation had seen in a very long time, despite the fact President Obama received more electoral votes than Trump in both of his presidential elections. You know, when Obama was elected twice, to a second term, not being a one-term loser. Anyway, Trump received 306 electoral votes to Hillary Clinton’s 232.

Do you know what didn’t happen when Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton 306 to 232? Hillary Clinton did NOT create conspiracy theories. She did NOT refuse to concede. She did NOT refuse to admit she lost. She did NOT pursue lawsuit after lawsuit. She did NOT challenge the election in multiple states or any state. She did NOT claim there was massive voter fraud. President Obama did NOT refuse to host the president-elect (sic) at the White House. President Obama did NOT refuse to allow a transition for several weeks. Democrats did NOT refuse to congratulate or recognize the president-elect (sic). Nobody hid in a bunker and mean-tweeted other politicians for doing the right thing.

Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump 306 to 232, the same outcome in the Trump/Clinton race. In doing so, he flipped FIVE states that went for Trump in 2016. He also won the popular vote which Donald Trump did not win in 2016.

There is no question, no doubt, no uncertainty, no pause, no mystery that Joe Biden won the election, that he is the president-elect, Kamala Harris is the vice-president-elect, and Jill Biden is DR. Jill Biden. There was no massive voter fraud, boats full of ballots, votes being switched from Trump to Biden, or voting machines designed by Hugo Chavez. And all those affidavits are third and fourth hand accounts, as in, “I heard someone say that someone else said that someone somewhere saw something fishy.” That’s what Rudy’s been taking to court as evidence.

Mitch McConnell hates being called “Moscow Mitch.” Oddly enough, he’s OK with “Cocaine Mitch.” But now, he’s less American than Vladimir Putin. He was behind Putin in recognizing that our democratic system works. Mitch is less concerned about appearing un-American and more concerned about pissing off Donald Trump, and having him ruin the two Senate elections in Georgia with a mean tweet, thus making Moscow Mitch, Minority Leader Mitch.

I actually like the sound of that. It’s almost as nice as “Former President (sic) Donald Trump.” To make things easier, let’s just call him “Loser Trump.”

Loser Trump has been mean-tweeting the governor of Georgia since the election. Today, he retweeted a call for his arrest. Will he want Moscow Mitch arrested for referring to Joe Biden as “Mr. President-Elect?’ God, I hope so. Bring on the mean tweets!

As for the rest of the GOP Senate, the House, and other assorted Republicans and fucknuts, follow Putin’s cue. Recognize Joe Biden. Don’t do it for Biden. Do it for the voters because by denying the results of our election is an insult to them and America.

And if you keep denying facts, I think you need to see a doctor of education. I know of one.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (17 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Midnight Mitch


cjones01262020

I could be wrong as I lost count, but I think Democrats went 0-13 in votes last night/this morning.

Why are the hearings going as late as 2:00 a.m? Why the rush? Originally, Mitch McConnell, who’s acquired the nickname “Midnight Mitch” to go along with “Moscow Mitch” and “Cocaine Mitch,” ruled that the prosecution and defense only had 24 hours, to be presented in two days, for opening arguments. After some Republicans expressed concerns that the rule would make it harder for them to hide the fact they’re helping Trump engage in a coverup, McConnell gave the two sides three days instead of two. Donald Trump’s confusion was how many hours there are in a day (in case you’re a Republican, 24).

This still pushed the trial to go as late as 2:00 a.m. this morning. Keep in mind, a lot of these Senators are extremely old. They’re required to be at their desk, not engage in any conversations, and without any electronic devices. Basically, they’re all doing something in a trial over Donald Trump that Donald Trump could NEVER do.

The biggest arguments have been over witnesses. The Republicans don’t want any. For weeks, we’ve heard that four moderate Republicans may join Democrats in voting for witnesses, but from what we saw last night, that’s not going to happen.

McConnell is hoping Americans don’t pay attention because none of this helps Donald Trump. Proof of that is the fact they don’t want witnesses and Trump’s legal team engaged in spreading huge lies while never arguing for Trump’s “innocence.” Yesterday, Republicans only argued over procedure. Witnesses and documents only prove that Donald Trump is guilty. Guilty of something Republicans spent the past three years telling us was a crime (no collusion), and now are convinced that asking a foreign nation to meddle in our election isn’t a big deal.

Republicans continue to argue that Donald Trump as president (sic) has executive privilege, despite the fact he’s never exercised that during the impeachment. The only privilege Trump has are sycophantic, cowardly Republicans who place cult of personality over country.

McConnell is hoping Americans go to sleep while the trial continues. He already has Republicans sleeping on it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Moscow Mitch


cjones08052019

The owner of one of the online news sites who subscribes to my cartoons emailed asking if I was going to draw a cartoon about Mitch McConnell. He mentioned that “MoscowMitch” was trending on Twitter and that the Senate Majority Leader was upset over this, which meant the editor was going to run every single anti-McConnell cartoon and the least flattering photos he can find of McConnell from now on.

I was aware of the #MoscowMitch thing trending and that McConnell was unhappy over it, but I thought piling on would be too much like trolling. Then, I saw how upset Mitch was. I changed my mind. Adding to anything that might even slightly upset McConnell’s mellow has to be a good cause.

McConnell, like most politicians who aren’t Donald Trump, are usually impervious to criticism, nicknames, and satire. Ted Cruz actually enjoys being the most disliked slug that has ever oozed its way into the United States Senate, and even seems to be aware he has a very punchable face. But this time, McConnell’s feelings have been hurt, and not because he doesn’t have a punchable face like Ted. Trust me, Mitch. You do.

He’s upset at being accused of being a Russian asset. Why are people accusing him of being a spawn of Putin? Because, right after the former special counsel Robert Mueller testified that Russians were still hacking us, even “as we sit here,” McConnell single-handledly blocked stronger election security measures.

McConnell even blocked a bill that would have made it a requirement for campaigns to report to the FBI if a foreign government was trying to give them assistance. McConnell felt the bills were “partisan” and would give Democrats an advantage at the polls. He’s right in that a fair and free election would give Democrats an advantage because most Republican ideas are greedy, evil, racist, stupid, and only seem to benefit billionaires and assholes. The majority of Americans vote against Republicans like they did in 2016 and 2018. Most Americans will vote against Republicans again in 2020.

McConnell was upset because not only is #MoscowMitch trending, but so is #MoscowMitchMcTraitor. This is a guy who, after an ad referred to him as “Cocaine Mitch,” started answering his phone with that title.

McConnell even took to the Senate floor to defend himself, seemingly unaware that if you feed trolls, that like cats, they don’t go away. Mitch called his critics “hyperventilating hacks,” and compared his treatment to “modern-day McCarthyism.” McConnell said, “Over the last several days I was called unpatriotic, un-American, and essentially treasonous by a couple of left-wing pundits on the basis of bald-faced lies. I was accused of aiding and abetting the very man I singled out as an adversary and opposed for nearly 20 years, Vladimir Putin.”

Yet, McConnell is blocking efforts to protect our elections from attacks by Russia because he wants to aid and abet Vladimir Putin. McConnell, like Trump, is welcoming the Russians help in 2020. It’s not like McConnell has ethics. He freaking stole a Supreme Court seat.

In 2016, Obama asked McConnell to speak out against Russia’s attack on our election so that defending the integrity of our democratic process would be bipartisan. Obama wanted Democratic and Republican leaders to stand shoulder-to-shoulder. McConnell refused because he didn’t want to discourage Putin or Americans from realizing that all the erroneous information they were being fed to help Donald Trump was created by Russian trolls. McConnell refused to defend America, just like he’s refusing to defend it now. Just like Donald Trump has refused to defend the nation he swore an oath to protect.

Trump came to McConnell’s defense while referring to himself, again, in the third person saying, “Mitch McConnell is a man that knows less about Russia and Russian interference than even Donald Trump. And I know nothing.” I’m sure we can all agree that Donald Trump “knows nothing.”

Mitch McConnel is upset people are calling him a Russia asset. If you don’t want to be accused of being a Russian asset then maybe stop acting like Vladimir Putin has a hand up your ass.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.