Mike Pence

Taking Hostages


cjones12042016

Donald Trump went to Indiana on Thursday to brag about convincing Carrier, an air conditioner making company in that state, from going to Mexico and forcing more Americans out of work.

On the campaign trail he bragged that companies wouldn’t leave our nation anymore after he’s president because he’ll call them and threaten them with higher taxes.

None of that happened.

Carrier decided to keep part of their production in Indiana after receiving corporate welfare from that state’s taxpayers promised by governor and president-elect Mike Pence. They’re still shutting down a lot of their operation and leaving for south of the border.

Is this why Pence hasn’t resigned as governor? He’s not busy enough running Trump’s transition team and eating taco bowls in Trump Tower? He gave Trump high praise for keeping Carrier in Indiana on Thursday but the question remains: What exactly did Trump do? If Trump was president when bin Laden was taken out Trump would have claimed he was there and pulled the trigger.

I think it is good for a president to call CEOs and try to convince them not to move their production out of the country. Afterward the president can go in front of a crowd and lie about it, praise the company, and not mention the bailout he just gave them. If only Obama knew he could have bragged about saving the auto industry and didn’t have to mention the bailout.

What Trump has done is send a very loud signal to corporate America that they can hold their employees hostage. Trump shows he’s willing to give them “yuge” tax breaks to stay. This is like when NFL teams threaten their current cities by talking about moving to San Antonio. It’s how they get new stadiums and sky boxes.

Trump doesn’t care if he gives your money to rich Americans. Carrier wasn’t losing money. They were very profitable. They just weren’t as rich as they wanted.

The only sticky widget for the next bailout is that Trump will need 50 more governors as accomplices. Mike Pence won’t be governor of Indiana at some point between now and January.

Now maybe Trump can call that guy who manufactures crappy ties overseas.

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Hamilton!


cjones11202016

Vice President-elect Mike Pence decided to expand his culture a bit and attend the Broadway musical “Hamilton.” He was booed by the audience and then he received a lecture from the cast at the end of the show. The cast asked Pence to work on behalf of all Americans. Gee. If a Midwestern homophobe can’t be comfortable at a Broadway show what’s left?

Donald Trump, continuing the joke that he’s going to actually be president of the United States, took to Twitter. The man who says he never apologizes demanded the Hamilton cast apologize to Pence.

Trump accused the cast of “harassing” and of being very rude to the Indiana governor. Maybe he should have followed Donald this weekend to hide in his New Jersey safe space.

What did the cast say to Pence that can be considered so rude? Actor Brandon Victor Dixon, who plays Aaron Burr in the play, thanked Pence for attending and said he hoped Pence would “hear him out.”

“We, sir — we — are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights,” he said. “We truly hope that this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us.”

How dare he!

In case you’re from Indiana or don’t have any culture otherwise, “Springtime For Hitler” is a fake play within a play. It’s in Mel Brooks’ production “The Producers.”

A producer and his accountant figure out that they can make more money from a flop than a hit, that is if they oversell ownership in a Broadway play. If it’s a flop they can declare a loss and keep all the money. They seek out the worst script, worst director, worst music, and worst actors possible.

What they find is a very offensive play called “Springtime For Hitler” written by an insane New York City Nazi, enamored with Adolf Hitler.

At the start of the play the audience is very offended and begins walking out when Hitler, a very flamboyantly- gay Hitler comes out and starts prancing and dancing. The audience loves it believing the play to be a satire and it’s a huge success. The producers are screwed.

Mel Brooks, who is Jewish, loved to make fun of Hitler. Other than “The Producers” Brooks’ film “To Be Or Not To Be” totally cracked on Hitler, and it was a really sweet and funny movie that’s very underrated. A version of Hitler even shows up near the end of “Blazing Saddles.”

You have to love Mel Brooks, unless you don’t have any culture.

The funniest thing in all of this is that now Trump supporters are screaming for a boycott of the play “Hamilton.” Like I’m sure Trump supporters are big Broadway fans. Currently they’re giving their money to Starbucks and to show them, they’re demanding the baristas to write “Trump” on their cups so they have to shout “Trump” when their double-mocha-flappe-fratte-venti sprinkled with cinnamon is ready for them. One Trump supporter wants to sue Starbucks for discriminating against him because he’s white. Caucasians have been facing huge burdens throughout American history. He was caught on YouTube having a very public hissy fit.

I’m not sure these people should be drinking coffee. Maybe a nice glass of warm milk is more their speed.

Go find your safe space.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

That Mexican Thing


cjones10062016

If you had Googled “whipping out that Mexican thing” yesterday you probably would have stumbled upon some disturbing websites. Today you’ll find the most memorable line from the Vice Presidential debate which was made by Donald Trump’s running mate Mike Pence, governor of Indiana.

He was retorting back to Tim Kaine, U.S. Senator from Virginia, when he brought up Trump’s comments how Mexico is sending us rapists and murderers.

Pence did not fail defending Trump as much as he refused to defend him. When he did he was denying comments he or Trump had made, which were all lies. For this effort most analysts judged that Pence won the debate. The GOP was so excited about Pence winning that they went online an hour before to claim he won. Yes, they actually did that.

A lot of people were sour on Kaine’s many interruptions. Kaine took on the attack-dog role which is a new one for him. His performance gave the impression he had consumed many mochas beforehand, which I can relate to (I’m on my fourth cup of coffee now and I feel AWESOME!). Pence was very calm and patient and never got flustered or took the bait like his boss did. Pence also accused the Clinton/Kaine campaign of being one of insults, which is really hypocritical. Even during the debate Trump was tweeting out that Kaine looked like a villain from a Batman movie. Yes, he actually did that. Trump forgets he looks like he was an Oompa Loompa in Willy Wonka rolling an inflated Violet Beauregarde.

Pence even offered foreign policy proposals that are in direct opposition of those proposed by Trump, such as dropping bombs on Assad and confronting Russia.

Trump’s team will tell him to watch the debate and be more like Mike. They will have great difficulty making that happen, less enough getting him to watch the thing. Sorry, Donald. It’s not a sex tape….THANK GOD!

While Kaine is viewed as losing the debate, he really didn’t. He may have come off as not promoting himself for the future,which Pence did really well, but he gave his team a ton of material to use against the Trump/Pence ticket.

This cartoon isn’t real heavy but I wanted to do something with the “Mexican thing” comment. I also really like drawing Tim Kaine and his freaky eyebrow and look forward to future opportunities. I also don’t mind taking a lighter take with this as the debate won’t move any poll numbers and will be forgotten by Wednesday afternoon. We have another presidential debate on Sunday, more gaffes by Trump throughout the week, and a very dangerous hurricane approaching the East Coast.

I am excited for our future if it includes “whipping out that Mexican thing” in the form of taco trucks on every corner.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Veep Debate Project


vpdebate

A couple months ago, Redfront, a company in Farmville, Virginia asked me to produce this piece of art commemorating the Vice Presidential debate which is taking place tonight at Longwood University.

The owner of the Redfront is a really nice guy and he had the idea. He wanted to put the art on T-shirts. I did the job, he paid, and you’d think that’d be it and I could move on with my life. Clay was wrong.

The company hired to produce the shirts, which is in Ohio, was a huge pain in the butt. The gentleman who hired me had never worked on a project like this before. He’d email me one day asking for a file type he wasn’t familiar with, but fortunately I was. Then he’d call again the next day for another. And then I’d have to upload the file and then I had to talk to some maniac in Ohio, and then I would pull my hair out and do it all over again the next day.

I needed one type of file I had never made before and I roped a couple of friends into helping me. One tried and failed. The other (thanks, Melissa) came through. After that I went through all the required steps Ohio was demanding. I thought it was done. A few days later I’m told Redfront that he was pulling the plug on the entire thing.

I did get paid but I feel bad the project never flew as intended. I do hope Redfront can do something with it to recoup what they paid me.

But now here it is for the world to see. Enjoy tonight’s debate.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Endorsing Trump


cjones10012016

Newspaper endorsements don’t really help politicians or sway elections. Even endorsements from other politicians don’t persuade voters. What they do is give reason to vote, or not to vote, for a particular candidate and shows the direction the person, newspaper, union, organization, etc.,  wants the country to move toward. A lot of times it’s not as much about the candidate but the positions. At times it’s not as much about the candidate as it is the opponent.

Which leads us to Donald Trump.

During every election cycle newspapers endorse candidates. The endorsements go for Democrats, Republicans, Independents, etc. Some readers get upset while others applaud. Most readers shrug their shoulders if they even notice. Endorsements are usually voted on by an editorial board which usually consists of the publisher, editor, editorial page editor and various other editors. Basically the most important people running the newspaper are on the board. I have been on the staff of four newspapers during my career and none of those newspapers had a staff where every editor had the same political philosophy. There is not a political agenda mandated by the newspaper. I’ve seen owners of newspapers sit back and watch an endorsement get published they voted against.

The most bizarre thing about Donald Trump is that no real newspaper has endorsed him. Yet, he’s the nominee for the Republican party. That just doesn’t happen. Yes, he collected a few endorsements during the primaries but newspapers usually pick one candidate from each party to endorse during the primaries and then pick against one of them during the general election. Who endorsed Trump during the primaries? The Santa Barbara News-Press, The New York Post (he is a New Yorker and he was running against Cruz who dissed the entire city), The New York Observer (which his son in law owns and disclaimer: is a client of mine), and the National Enquirer which is not a real newspaper. There are more than four newspaper in the United States.

During the general election so far Trump has only been endorsed by the Santa Barbara News-Press (I gotta do some research and find out what’s going on there) and the National Enquirer. That’s it. I’m sure the New York Observer will endorse eventually though one staffer has written a column (which they published) taking the editor to task for supporting Trump.

Usually Democrats pick up more endorsements from daily newspapers than Republicans, but it’s not a huge margin. Republicans have played it to their advantage in arguing that it proves the left-wing media (as if there was such a thing) is against them. Trump and his surrogates of monkeys are making the same argument, but those monkeys don’t fly.

The Dallas Morning News (Disclaimer: Another client) endorsed Hillary Clinton. It’s the first time they have endorsed a Democrat since 1944. They endorsed a Republican against Roosevelt near the end of World War II. How bad do those editors view Trump? They endorsed a guy over the guy who was taking out Hitler. And that’s in Texas. I’m sure other notable Texas newspapers wouldn’t do the same…oh wait. The Houston Chronicle, which is usually reliable for a good-ole fashioned Republican endorement has endorsed Hillary Clinton.

You can argue those are exceptions but wait! The Cincinnati Enquirer hasn’t endorsed a Democrat since 1916. Not since adults were riding ridiculous, giant big-wheeled tricycles and wearing stove-top hats, and wondering if airplanes would ever fly (and if they did, what sort of meals would they serve?) has The Enquirer endorsed a Democrat. They just did. Why? Because Trump isn’t qualified to be president.

Surely it ends there, right? No. The Arizona Republic which came into existence in the late 1880s has never…NEVER….endorsed a Democrat. Never. They just endorsed the Democrat and wrote that Clinton is the only choice to move forward. NEVER! They don’t endorse Democrats.

The Detroit News is another that never endorses Democrats. Never in its 143-year history has it NOT endorsed a Republican. They just endorsed Gary Johnson. Yes, the News would rather support a pot-smoking, tongue-wagging candidate who can’t find Aleppo on a map or name a single foreign leader, as their choice for president.

That brings us to USA Today (Disclaimer: They also run my work). The paper came into existence under Gannett and they own newspapers across the nation. USA Today has always played it safe and they have never endorsed a presidential candidate. They play the middle ground. I always joke with cartoonists that they never run controversial, dangerous, or even opinionated editorial cartoons. Every time they run one of my mine I’m kinda surprised. Lately they’ve really stepped up with their hard-hitting investigative reporting. But they don’t endorse. They just endorsed. Not Hillary but they wrote that Trump is not qualifed to be president. The editorial board couldn’t come to a consensus to endorse Clinton but they all agreed on Never Trump.

If Trump wants to know why this is happening he should ask his running mate, who also didn’t endorse him. Mike Pence endorsed Ted Cruz. He is the running mate for a man who he publicly said is not his first choice. Now that’s an endorsement. I hope when the election is over that Mike finds his money on the dresser.

These editorial boards are not in love with Hillary Clinton. They’re not part of the left-wing media agenda to elect a Democrat and throw the country into a socialist state where everyone gets an abortion and Obama phone with their free school lunch. They just know that you need to go with the most qualified candidate. I share the same viewpoint. I’m more Never Trump than I am pro Hillary. Hillary Clinton has issues and brings problems to the table but she is qualified for the job. Donald Trump is a disaster.Donald Trump is a nightmare we have yet to have. He is the pee in your Cheerios, the Yoko to your Beatles, and the Jar-Jar to your Star Wars. Why endorse a candidate who comes unhinged at 3:00 AM and attacks a former Miss Universe on Twitter and tells us all to check out her sex tape?  Why?

Newspapers are managed by people who went to school. They went to college. They have disagrees. They’re not the elite but they’re educated. You know, the sort who don’t vote for Trump.

Stupid people vote for Trump.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Stereotype Your Wedding Planner Before It’s Too Late


cjones04022015

A lot of conservatives defense for Indiana’s Restoration Of Religious Freedom law is that it’s exactly like laws in other states and the federal law signed by Clinton in the 1990’s. Today Arkansas governor Asa Hutchinson destroyed that argument by not signing a duplicate to Indiana’s and stating he wants one more like the federal law.

The federal law was not built to discriminate. It’s goal was to actually protect religious freedom. This law in Indiana is designed to discriminate. The law is not necessary. Nobody’s religious freedom is being violated. The only way anyone who’s honest can say the law is needed is that we need to discriminate in this country. Indiana governor Mike Pence his expressed himself in the past of being very homophobic and seeking laws designed to discriminate.
In addition to all the businesses that have come out against Indiana and Arkansas’ hate efforts, NASCAR has come out against it. You know, NASCAR. That “sport” with a fanbase of Bubbas chewing tobacco, drinking beer, slapping women on the asses, gay joke telling, Southern culture, Mitt Romney voting, entirely white fan base NASCAR. Indiana, you literally are being left in the dust.
But hey, homophobes have finally caught on to what the gay agenda is really about, which is that it only exist to drive small business bakeries and florists to go out of business. Seriously, you really have to hate someone not to sell them a cake. There were examples of bakers and florists going out of business in Washington and Oregon for not providing their services to gay weddings.
First; if you’re so close minded you won’t do business with gay couples then what the Hell are you doing in Washington and Oregon? Second; if a bunch of fraternity dudes went to a baker and said they wanted donuts and planned to wear them on their penises, take photos of the act then place the pics underneath the donuts before they sent them to a sorority, the baker would probably say “that’s disgusting and it sounds like you need at least two dozen.” Then he’d place his business card with the order.
You would think the entire wedding industry would be euphoric over gay weddings as that increases their client base. I know I’m a non-conformist but if I was a baker I’d sell a cake to a man/horse wedding, legal or not. I’d be ecstatic about selling the cake. I’m sure James Carville and Mary Matalin found a caterer for their wedding who did the job without throwing up in his mouth.
There’s news today of a homophobic pizza place in Indiana that says they’ll use the new law to deny service to weddings. Seriously, the name of the place is “Homophobic Pizza” (no it’s not). If anyone is having a pizza catered to their wedding then it’s not gonna be a gay wedding. I did see a wedding reception at a Hooters once and that wasn’t gay either, and it wasn’t even my wedding. My wife vetoed that idea (I still can’t remember why we divorced).
I really don’t get all this fear of providing business to gays. Have you ever heard of a straight guy getting kicked out of a gay bar?
Today a conservative buddy of mine posted this on social media: If I’m a conservative, freelance cartoonist in Indiana, and a liberal group, whose political lifestyle I disagree with, wants to hire me to draw cartoons, I shouldn’t be able to say “No thank you?”
Yes you can say “no thank you” and thanks for displaying you don’t understand the issue. I don’t mean to pick on my homophobic and close-minded friend but this is the sort of clueless examples trolls are dishing out there. Bakeries and florists are providing a service and are businesses. A cartoonist is an individual. Selling a cake or flowers does not endorse an opinion or lifestyle. If you’re a Wiccan and buy blue jeans from Walmart does that mean Walmart supports the Wiccan lifestyle?  If my cartoons appear in National Review or Breitbart readers can understandably get the impression I support the viewpoints of those publications (and that I’m a knuckle-dragging, cave dweller). It’s not the same thing. What scares me is that he’s a cartoonist who doesn’t understand the difference between journalism and baked goods (though they are often acquainted in a newsroom) and seriously needs to work on his analogies. My penis/donut analogy was much better.
Some people questioned my homophobic buddy that no liberal publication would ask to use his work. That is not very likely but in his defense it’s not entirely implausible. I’ve been approached by a Tea Party group before to draw cartoons for them which really nails down that they are the stupid party.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take a shower after that National Review/Breitbart hypothesis I used earlier.