Mike Lindell

Demon Pillows


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We have to stop treating these people like they’re normal.

Donald Trump is not a normal person. Donald Trump is a conspiracy theorist totally devoid of ethics and a fraud. And if someone else happens to come along pushing bogus conspiracy theories and talking fruit loops out of their ass, Donald Trump will support their message as long as there’s praise for him in it.

Take Dr. Demon Sperm. That crazy lady in Houston claimed she had treated and cured over 300 people with Hydroxychloroquine. Never mind we still haven’t seen any evidence of that. Perhaps we were distracted by her claims of deep state lizard people, Alien DNA being used to cure people, and sex dreams with demons causing havoc in vaginas. But, because she promoted Hydroxychloroquine, Donald Trump said she’s “very impressive.”

Thankfully, there are still journalists who will call out bullshit. Journalists like CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who may have had too much fun with Mike Lindell yesterday.

You can argue that by giving someone like Mike Lindell a platform on CNN legitimizes the guy. But Donald Trump has already brought the dude up at one of his fake coronavirus briefings, so bring him on…and use the platform to expose him for the fraud he is. After what we saw yesterday, he’s less credible than the Doctor Demon Sperm. Hey, at least she had the good sense not to allow Anderson Cooper to expose her.

You know who Mike Lindell is. He’s the MyPillow guy selling shit pillows on Fox News. His pillows are totally propping up Tucker Carlson’s shows as other advertisers flee over his racism. MyPillow doesn’t have a problem with racists. In fact, I hear 4 out of 5 tiki-torch Nazis prefer MyPillow over non-Nazi pillows. OK. I made that up but as Mark Meadows would argue, there’s no evidence that it’s not true. No word yet on the pillow preference of sex demons.

Now, the MyPillow guy is touting a cure for the coronavirus. Wow! A cure you say? Lindell is pushing oleandrin as a potential therapeutic for COVID-19. oleandrin actually comes from a plant that is toxic. What is the MyPillow guy’s medical expertise? He has none. What’s his experience with drugs? He did a lot of cocaine. What’s his connection to this new miracle drug? He’s on the board of the company selling it which gives him a financial stake. But you know, Lindell says Jesus sent him.

Fortunately, Anderson Cooper destroyed Lindell yesterday for the entire world to see.

Lindell does not like the media and he’s referred to it in the past, usually while appearing on Fox News, as evil. But for some reason, he took his chances with Anderson Cooper.

Anderson Cooper pointed out Lindell had no medical expertise, was going to financially benefit, and that he had been exposed as a fraud in the past. Lindell used to run commercials claiming MyPillow cured various diseases. He later settled a lawsuit with several counties in California over the bogus claim. His business has an F rating from the Better Business Bureau for offering a buy-one-get-one-free campaign where if you paid double for one pillow, then you got a second.

Yesterday, Mike Lindell said he wouldn’t stake his great reputation on this cure if it didn’t work. Anderson Cooper pointed out that Lindell doesn’t have a great reputation. That’s about where I lost it and laughed for about two hours straight. The look on Lindell’s face was priceless. Perhaps what’s also hurting his reputation is using these appearances to also claim Donald Trump is the greatest president ever.

Lindell also pointed out that Ben Carson was behind this new cure. Oy! In the past, Ben Carson promoted a drug for a company that was paying him to give speeches, donating to his scholarship fund, and underwrote a TV special for him. But hey, let’s trust HUD Secretary Ben Carson, who doesn’t know the difference between REO and Oreo cookies.

Mike Lindell argued this drug has passed several tests yet wouldn’t provide proof or details. As someone else who I forget pointed out recently, legitimate medical studies are usually published in medical journals, not YouTube, and they’re definitely not reserved to be promoted by the MyPillow guy.

The MyPillow guy claimed the Food and Drug Administration has had the results of the tests since April, but there’s been no acknowledgement of that.

Last March, at one of Trump’s bogus coronavirus briefings, he brought Lindell out who promised his company would use its resources to produce 50,000 face masks a day for hospitals. I did a little research to see how that went and all I can find is that they definitely made face masks. In fact, at his MyPillow website, you can purchase 10 of them for $20.00. And in a great deal, you can purchase 20 for $40. I don’t know why he didn’t promote 10 for $40 and you get 10 more for free.

Yesterday, Lindell said, “I do what Jesus has me do.” Beware of people who say they’re doing God’s work while making a profit. It’s like a president donating his salary while forcing the government to pay for shitty hotel rooms and golf cart rentals at his resort. Or you know, using the presidency to force events like the G7 Summit and the British Open to be held at his shitty resorts. Do they use MyPillows in prisons?

Lindell claims he gave this new miracle cure to friends and family members and again, without proof.

Anderson summed it up best and to Lindell’s face when he said, “You really are like a snake oil salesman.” This entire administration and their friends are snake oil salesmen. Usually, they come with lines like, “Make America great again.”

I wouldn’t trust Lindell with any of his products. I wouldn’t put my head on his crappy pillows. I wouldn’t put one of his face masks on my face. And I definitely wouldn’t trust him with medication from a poisonous plant.

Mike Lindell is insane and a total fraud. He’s a conman and a grifter just like the man he’s a sycophant for. And in addition to selling snake oil, he’s selling bullshit.

And if you’re ever unsure if someone is legit or a total fraud, look for the signs. The first sign is they’re a Trump supporter.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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MyPillow Facetime


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There’s been a lot of debates over whether the networks should broadcast Donald Trump’s daily press conferences on the coronavirus. While there is pertinent information provided with these conferences, the majority of the time, they’re just replacements for Donald Trump’s hate rallies where he and everyone else speaking praises Donald Trump. But one aspect there should not be any debate over is that these things don’t have to be infomercials for companies whose executives are Donald Trump campaign supporters.

Seriously, I don’t need to see a free commercial for MyPillow in the middle of the day on CNN, who thankfully cut away during his segment at the daily hate rally. Mike Lindell, the CEO of the pillow company, gets enough advertising on Laura Ingraham’s show (where he increased his advertising after other companies dropped out after she attacked school-shooting survivor David Hogg.

Lindell was at Trump’s Monday press conference because he says he’s donating 75% of his company to producing face masks and will soon be kicking out 50,000 a day. I’m not sure what he’s not being paid for this but I’m sure he’s not doing it for free. Lindell’s appearance with other executives was to bolster Trump’s argument that he doesn’t need the Defense Production Act to have companies help fight the coronavirus. But if the kind of people helping out is people like Mike Lindell, I’m not going to be enthusiastic.

Mike Lindell says he’s going to make 50,000 face masks a day. It’s not that I think Lindell is lying, but it’s not like I believe him either. Why wouldn’t I believe a fine, upstanding Christian who throws his Christianity in everyone’s face at every opportunity (Seriously. He did it at the press conference too). The reason I don’t believe Mr. Lindell is because he’s a Trump supporter.

First off, he praised Donald Trump’s response to the pandemic. That right there tells me he’s full of shit. Lindell has said Trump is the “the most amazing president this country has ever seen in history,” which he said before Trump was president. He’s a conman who settled a lawsuit with several California counties over false advertising that his hate pillow cures things it doesn’t cure. The Better Business Bureau gives his company an F rating for a scam it ran about where you buy one pillow and get another for free…which was actually just the regular price. It was basically: Pay the regular price twice and we’ll throw in another pillow. Old conservatives who watch commercials at 2:00 AM on Fox are real suckers for that kind of shit.

Lindell wrote an Op-Ed for the Duluth News-Tribune in 2018 stating, “After more than 500 days with Donald Trump as our president — with record-low unemployment and a booming economy — it’s clear, Minnesota, that we can rest easy.” Then, he laid off 150 people. Hey, MyPillow guy…how many people did you lay off during the Obama presidency?

Praising and supporting Donald Trump tells me you don’t care about honesty or that someone’s a pathological liar and a conman. When you do that it tells me you’re probably one yourself and nobody should ever purchase your products or go into business with you, especially the United States government at the behest of taxpayers. Mike Lindell is going to produce 50,000 face masks a day? I’ll believe it when it actually happens and it’s verified by a third party. On top of that, I want to see the contract. What are we, the taxpayers, paying for the MyPillow face masks? Hey, Mike. How about when you make 50,000, you give us 25,000 for free?

On another note, MyPillows has horrible ratings at Amazon. It’s a crap pillow that someone filled with chunks of foam that reviewers say makes a big crunching sound when you lay your head on it. Our medical professionals would probably be better off wearing Dr. Birx’s scarves than Mike Lindell’s face masks.

Mike Francesca, a New York sports disc jockey and a Donald Trump supporter, went after Trump for having Lindell at his press conference. He said, “Hospitals don’t have the supplies they need. So don’t give me the MyPillow guy doing a song and dance up here on a Monday afternoon when people are dying in Queens! Get the stuff made! Get the stuff where it needs to go and get the boots on the ground. Treat this like the crisis it is.”

The song and dance is exactly why Lindell was there. These daily briefings are more about praising Trump for doing a horrible job than they are about providing a nation in crisis with valuable information. And Lindell did exactly what Donald Trump wanted him to do, which was to go balls-deep with the sycophancy.

Lindell preached, “God gave us grace on November 8, 2016, to change the course we were on,” talking about the day Donald Trump was mistakenly elected. He continued, “God had been taken out of schools and lives. A nation had turned its back on God. I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the Word, read our Bibles and spend time with our families. With our great president, vice president and this administration and all the great people in this country praying daily, we will get through this and get back to a place that’s stronger and safer than ever.” That’s some serious cult worship. Keep in mind, this guy smoked a lot of crack cocaine back in the day.

Many in the press mocked him, like MSNBC’s Ali Velshi who tweeted, “Trump just called the “My Pillow” guy up to the podium in the Rose Garden. You cannot make this stuff up.” Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld (who’s their idea of a funny guy) tweeted a reply, “When you start producing 50 thousand masks a day you can go up to the podium too In the meantime sit on your fence and keep your thumb up your ass.” See? Fox News funny. And again, don’t believe he’s going to produce 50,000 face masks a day just because they say he is. We’ve had three years of this. When will you start learning from experience?

Conservative radio host Larry O’Connor got upset and tweeted that the critics are “ungrateful jerks” and need to “STFU” about him. I really hope he sees this cartoon.

Logan Hall of the right-wing propaganda hate site wrote, “The MyPillow guy has done more to combat the spread of coronavirus than 99% of the blue checks whining about him.” Again, how do you know he’s done more and…what’s a blue check? Can I get one?

Lindell himself got upset over the criticism. Like Trump, he doesn’t believe he receives enough appreciation. He went on Fox News where Lou Dobbs played him a tape of MSNBC’s Chris Hayes saying, “Seems crazy that everyone’s still taking these briefings seriously when you have the MyPillow guy getting up there talking about reading the Bible.” Lindell replied, “I heard Jim Acosta attack me too, and he was 10 feet from me, in the Rose Garden. This is just evil, Lou. This is evil.” How far should one be from you before attacking so it’s not evil? But hey, 10 feet is better than 6 so you’re good.

He continued whining and supporting his cult with, “This president has been the best man in charge for such a time as this; it’s just those newscasters, those journalists, we know who they are… CNN, what they did to me, I’m sorry, I put on a message of hope to the country that God had given us grace in November of 2016, a nation that turned its back on God, and right now we’re part of this big revival.” Feel free to pause if you need to vomit. And again, praising Trump, grace from God, crack cocaine.

The MyPillow guy summed up with, “I am appalled by the journalists that I see there. I used to think that, they are not that evil, yes, they are.”

Wow. Maybe Mr. MyPillow guy will think I’m evil too after seeing this cartoon. Am I evil? Well if standing up for my nation against the attacks of Donald Trump and all those who are in his cult like the MyPillow guy, then as Diamond Head sang, “Yes, I am.”

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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United Pillow Fight


cjones12132018

Donald Trump likes to hire people he thinks look good on television. White House sources said he was hesitant about hiring John Bolton as National Security Adviser because his mustache looks ridiculous. Walruses disagree.

Trump watches a lot of TV, specifically Fox & Friends. Morning schedules at the White House list the time block occupied by Trump’s favorite TV sycophants as “Executive Time.” Nothing else is scheduled in the mornings so Trump can watch his friends, and that’s probably not a terrible thing.

In addition to Bolton, he hired conspiracy theorist Joseph diGenova from Trump TV for his legal team before backtracking (sometimes you should actually meet the people first).  He’ll stray and hire from other networks too. Interim Attorney General Mathew Whitaker was an occasional guest on CNN bashing Robert Mueller, and Larry Kudlow was a CNBC contributor before becoming director of the National Economic Council.

Going on Fox News is like auditioning for a job in the Trump administration. Sean Hannity would probably be under consideration to replace John Kelly as Chief of Staff if he wasn’t already Trump’s top political adviser.

Now, Trump is moving Heather Nauert from her position as spokesperson for the State Department to replace Nikki Haley as ambassador to the United Nations. Guess where Heather Nauert worked before Trump hired her? I’m only asking because if you read this blog then you probably don’t watch a lot of Fox News.

Nauert impressed Trump at the State Department, especially that time she used D-Day as an example of our warm relationship with Germany. I’m not kidding. But, why should Trump’s hires have any actual experience with the jobs he’s putting them in when he doesn’t have any himself? Quite frankly, he might as well have picked the My Pillow guy.

The My Pillow guy is Mike Lindell. Like Trump, he’s a pitchman. He built his company on infomercials which is pretty much what Trump’s time at the White House has been. Trump’s spokesgoons have hawked Trump products, the state department website has advertised his crap, and every weekend gives free promotion to a Trump resort.

Another thing Lindell has in common with Trump, other than creeping me out on TV, is that his products don’t meet his promises.

I’ll give Lindell credit for overcoming a serious drug problem to create a company that makes American products, even if it’s a shitty one (Amazon reviewers describe it as lumpy, crunchy-sounding, and as a bag full of chopped-up foam). Good for him. But, you can’t claim it treats fibromyalgia, restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea, cerebral palsy, and acid reflux, among others. About the only thing he didn’t promise was a four-hour erection. The company had to pay around a million dollars after being sued by several counties in California. The Better Business Bureau also lowered the company’s ratings from an A+ to an F because of their buy one, get one free offer. The pillows are fifty bucks, but if you buy two for $100 then you’re getting that second for free. Does that make sense? Just sell the pillows for fifty bucks, dude and stop screwing with sleep-kicky old people who watch Fox.

Lindell is also a big Trump supporter and has gotten to hang out with him at Mar-a-Lago. Does Cheeto dust wash off the pillow? He also likes Laura Ingraham, whose only reason for not using My Pillow is because she sleeps upside down.  When advertisers were dropping her show after she made disparaging remarks toward school-shooting survivor David Hogg, My Pillow increased their advertising on her show by 62 percent. Basically, what you’re buying are hate pillows.

Trump told us he would hire the best and brightest. Later, he claims his former employees are stupid or weak, like Michael Cohen, Rex Tillerson, Jeff Sessions, and Omarosa. Later, he’ll say that he hired them out of sympathy. I don’t recall that on the campaign trail. You would think Attorney General would be too important for a sympathy job, but Trump treats it the same as letting that kid cut the White House grass. Did I see that kid on Fox & Friends?

The My Pillow Guy and his crunchy/lumpy pillow would fit right into this administration of grifters. Just beware of how Trump talks about his former hires.

Side note: I just hope you appreciate all the My Pillow ads I’m going to get now. And, if you see them on this site, sorry about that. It’s the algorithms. Don’t email me bitching about it.

Be Complicit

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