ISIS

Flexing Muscles For Brussels


cjones03232016

It didn’t take Republicans long to politicize the Tuesday’s terrorist bombings in Brussels, Belgium. About 12 seconds after locating Belgium on the globe Trump and Cruz took off.

Trump brought back his torture argument (we could make them listen to his speeches and attempt to articulate one of his “best words” sentences). Cruz went farther and said we should patrol Muslim neighborhoods. Why didn’t they just propose shooting every brown person in the head?

They have already proposed making Muslims wear special IDs and prohibiting them entering the country if they’re from a nation or region where ISIS operates. We could just invade the wrong country again and see if it works this time.

It’s crazy they go into these nationalistic proposals regarding terrorism, such as sending storm troopers into the suburbs, but they don’t really want to do anything about gun violence in our nation. Well, other than the proposal of more guns.

With that argument maybe more terrorists will defeat terrorism.

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Putin Pulls Out


cjones03152016

Russian president Vladimir Putin surprised the world today by announcing he’s pulling his nation’s troops out of Syria.

Russia entered the Syrian civil war under the guise of fighting ISIS, and they had good reason after ISIS took down a Russian airliner. But it was ruse as Putin’s army spent most of their time fighting rebels attempting to destroy Syrian president Bashar Assad’s reign of terror.

Putin is declaring “mission accomplished” and claims the terrorists are on the run. Though he’s pulling out the majority of his force there will still be an air presence and of course Russia still maintains a naval base in Syria, which it has since the early 1990’s. They can still drop bombs in Syria anytime they want.

While Putin claims he was fighting terrorists, he spent most of his time bombing schools, markets, and hospitals and then claimed they didn’t exist. Well, they didn’t after he bombed them. Guess who’s still there? ISIS.

So why is Russia pulling out? First, they could be lying. They claim they’re not in Ukraine but they are. The real reason is probably that Putin has achieved his goal and that’s a seat at the peace talks and stability in his relationship with Assad. Syria is a stalemate and will probably stay that way for years. That’s good enough for Russia as they can maintain their bases in the Mediterranean, and Syria is their only source for that. After helping Assad for six months Putin’s influence with Assad is greatly influenced.

Let’s not forget that Donald Trump isn’t the only conservative who admires Vladimir Putin. Other Republicans, like Sarah Palin, have mentioned how he’s a “real leader” unlike our own president. Nice!

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Until Sand Glows In The Dark


cjones12182015

Ted Cruz says if he’s elected president, he’ll carpet bomb ISIS until sand glows in the dark. I know Senator Cruz loves portraits of himself, but does he own carpet? Does he know how it works? He says he’ll avoid bombing cities with his carpet bombing as he’ll only bomb where ISIS is located. If he can take his own head out of the sand (or a certain part of his anatomy) then maybe he’ll realize ISIS is in Mosul, Ramadi, Raqqa, Fallujah, and Hawija. Those, Senator Cruz, are cities.

Donald Trump promises he’ll “bomb the bleep out of them” and plans to put hits on terrorists’ families.  Marco Rubio wants to insert ground troops. Chris Christie says we’re in World War III, and in case war with ISIS doesn’t bring Armageddon fast enough, he’ll take pot shots at Russian planes. Lindsey Graham says he misses George W. Bush and wishes he was still president. On top of all that they’re waging a campaign that we’re at war with Islam. This is the kind of stuff that’s music to the ears of ISIS and they use it to recruit new fighters.

The funny and scary thing is all of these candidates’ solutions to destroy ISIS are the very things that created ISIS.

These candidates claim they want to defeat ISIS. Maybe they’ll actually help with that after providing recruiting material for future ISIS newsletters.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

I Can Haz Jihad?


cjones12152015

Can we restrict people from entering this country if they’re annoying and self indulgent? Yes, we should prevent dangerous people from crossing our borders, but I think we should add selfie queens (that includes you dudes too) to the list. We have enough insecure people who were born here who can’t resist the urge to share their neuroses with the entire world, why invite more? And don’t get me started on cat pictures. Dog pictures are OK. In fact, being a dog lover should move people to the front of the line.

News reveals that the Jihadist chick who was one of the terrorists in the San Bernardino shootings entered the country without having her social media checked out? What? I doubt you can get a decent job without someone from human resources checking out your Facebook and judging your cleavage and nights of drunken hootenannies. If Burger King wants to see your thong, then why shouldn’t DHS also take a peek?

I don’t think we should stop people from coming to our country. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be vetted, or that the process we’re using now is perfect. Hell, the 19 hijackers responsible for 9/11 entered the country on visas. Everyone needs to be checked out whether they’re students or a fiance for a U.S. born loser who can’t get an American date and orders a bride from the Philippines.

So why didn’t Homeland Security check out Tashfeen Malik’ s Facebook page? Sure, stereotyping is bad but she had been a resident of two nations, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, where people are trained to hate the United States. Reportedly, she made several posts expressing a desire to join ISIL. Her posts were private and could only be seen by her most trusted Jihadists friends, but DHS should have checked it out anyway. I’m sure the NSA is spying on U.S. citizen’s social media, so DHS could probably hack her Facebook and see whether she had a massive crush on Matthew McConaughey or Jihadi John. We need to know if her sugar daddy is Abu Bakr al Baghdadi.

So yeah, check out social media. See if they hate America or just hate Nickelback. And if anyone from the National Security Agency is checking this out, please don’t put me on the No-Fly List for “I Can Have Jihad?”.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Tool For Terrorists


cjones12082015

I think how much fun it will be as a cartoonist for Trump to win his party’s nomination. While I make fun of Trump, the situation is starting to lose its humor. The leading candidate for one of America’s two political parties is laying out a platform of xenophobia. This is 2015. Not 1933 Germany.

There’s a lot of stupid people out there. If you disagree with me on issues like abortion, gun control, race relations, etc, that doesn’t mean I think you’re stupid (you’re just wrong). If you’re supporting Trump, you’re either an idiot or a full blown racist.

It is amazing how people are not shy about their racism and bigotry. Just go on social media. Of course they don’t think they’re terrible people. Hey, David Duke doesn’t think he’s a racist.

Donald Trump is a terrible person. His bankruptcies never hurt him. They hurt the people who invested in him. The only immigration he’s in favor of is when it’s time to shop for a new wife. His plan for programs he doesn’t like is to replace them with “something better.” He kicked off his campaign insulting Hispanics and then proceeded to insult women, gays, African Americans, Muslims, etc.

Now he is saying we should shut down all mosques, enter all Muslims into a database, and not allow any Muslims to enter the country. None. Not refugees, not students, not people on vacation, not even American Muslims returning to the country. That sounds like a lot of work. I’m surprised he isn’t suggesting to throw them into concentration camps. He can have Mexico pay for it.

Obama says the West is not at war with Islam. Donald Trump and many others apparently disagrees. This is what the terrorists want. They want us to be at war with their religion. It’s what they sell. It’s what they use to recruit. Can you lie and get people to believe in it? Yes. It works for Republicans too. All of the Republican candidates have provided ISIL with recruiting material. Donald Trump is their headliner. Every time Donald Trump talks, he’s hurting America.

Trump’s bad idea is so bad that Sith Lord Dick Cheney and the last human you ever want to be stuck in an elevator with, Ted Cruz, both bad idea architects, think it’s a bad idea. It’s so bad that no other Republican candidate likes it. It’s like a turd cake with a crispy turd frosting with a creamy turd filling. It really stinks. A lot of Republicans however are eating it up and asking for seconds.

A lot of conservatives say Obama is an embarrassment to America. That other countries are laughing at us. They’re half right. They’re laughing at us all right but not because of Obama. They’re laughing at the lunacy that is the Republican slate of candidates.

I often challenge people to prove to me how dumb they are. With Trump they’re accepting that challenge. I hope it doesn’t burn me in November. Trump starts with Muslims, then he’ll go after Hispanics, then blacks, then gays, and then any dissent. Yikes!

Why did I use “ISIL” instead of “ISIS?” I was wondering how I should refer to them. Both are correct in the right context. ISIS is the terrorist movement in Iraq and Syria. ISIL refers to the movement worldwide, specifically the Middle East and Africa. So I went with ISIL in this cartoon.

A lot of people are upset Obama used “ISIL” in his Oval Office Address. He was correct in the context he was using. Again, people are mocking the president for being smarter than them. Stupid intellectuals.

Freedom Of Cake Expression


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A Wal-Mart employee didn’t recognize an ISIS flag. Is that so shocking? Even CNN had a recent problem differentiating the flag from a giant dildo (seriously).

So some right-wing goober tried to order a Confederate Flag cake at Wal-Mart and the store’s bakery refused. He wanted to make a point of some sort so he showed the employee an ISIS flag and ordered a cake with that design. I’m sure he didn’t tell the employee it was the logo for an international terrorist organization with a fondness for beheadings. The store delivered. I’m not sure what flavor the cake was but I’m sure the party was a blast. Get it? Blast!

Personally, I think the bakery should make a Confederate Flag cake if someone orders it. I think the flag is a symbol of racism but it’s really no skin off my hide if you have serve cake at your KKK party. I also don’t have an issue with private businesses selling the flags. I don’t care. Someone is going to sell them. Freaks are gonna fly them. I just don’t think they belong on government property.

Here are the roughs. I changed the art and text.

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