ISIS

The McCain Blame


cjones06192016

On Thursday Senator John McCain blamed President Obama for creating ISIS and having a hand in the attack in Orlando. I guess he forgot about that entire episode where President Bush invaded the wrong country, destabilizing it and creating a world class recruitment center and haven for terrorists. It must have slipped his mind.

After accusing the president of treason and coming off as ridiculous as Donald Trump, McCain attempted to clarify his statement. He said his intention was to blame Obama’s policies, not as if Obama was personally cutting off journalists’ heads in the desert outside Raqqa.

McCain is in a tough primary race for his senate seat in Arizona. Now may not be the best time for him to make stupid statements. To retain his seat he needs to distance himself as far as possible from Donald Trump, not mimic him. What’s McCain’s next move, a photo op with a taco bowl while accusing himself of not being a war hero?

Before McCain picked a running mate in his failed presidential attempt in 2008, nobody outside Alaska has ever heard of Sarah Palin. Since that time we’ve suffered eight years of a tidal wave of stupidity that even Donald Trump has had trouble duplicating. Thanks, Senator. It’s the stupid that keeps on giving.

Speaking of stupid, Sarah Palin also had some criticism of President Obama this week. She probably does that every week but this one was noticeable. She said the president is a “special kind of stupid” over his efforts toward gun control. Seriously. Miss Right Winger Bitter Clinger has called someone else stupid. Next, her daughter will start lecturing about abstinence.

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Orlando Tragedy


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Am I politicizing this?

The United States suffered the worst mass shooting in its history this past weekend. A shooter walked into a gay nightclub and started shooting people. At this point 50 are dead and over 50 are wounded.

The shooter claims he’s affiliated with ISIS. He has a history of homophobia and anger issues. Is it really important he’s citing ISIS and the Boston Marathon Bombers as inspiration?

It’s not about Islam or “radical” Islam. It’s about people being radical. Conservatives love to point out that Islam calls for the death of homosexuals. So does Christianity. Most Muslim governments that are theocracies ban homosexuality which is evidence that we don’t want to tie our government to Christianity or any religion. It’s bizarre that those who hate gays want us to focus on other groups who hate gays.

These conservatives aren’t asking how the shooter acquired his weapons. They’re more concerned with people referring to the AR-15 used as an “assault weapon.” Seriously, they have more sensitivity toward the weapon than to the victims.

Conservatives love to politicize people and use them to advance their agenda. They scapegoat. They create a climate of hate and fear where none previously existed. They do it out of hate hate and to distract from other issues. They scream about bathrooms being unsafe from trangenders though all the raping and pedophilia being done out there is by heterosexuals, and usually by very conservative and religious people. It’s always a great time to politicize someone until their politicizing feeds a tragedy. When the tragedy strikes they offer prayers to those they have been tarnishing, degrading, and dehumanizing.

Am I politicizing this? I could have gone with a memorial cartoon. In fact, the cartoonist who I most admire has already published a cartoon with tears for Orlando. When I’m angry, annoyed, and really pissed off, sentimentality doesn’t come easy to me. I’m not a chicken-soup-for-the-soul type of person.

Am I politicizing this? You bet your homophobic ass I am.

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Patience With The TSA


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One of the stories this week every American political cartoonists drew a cartoon on were the long lines in airport security checkpoints. Every cartoonists except me, until now.

The point made by each and every single one of those cartoons were “the lines are long” and “waiting sucks.” I’m really not into that sort of commentary. There were also a bunch of cartoons about graduation with the point that the job market stinks. Yeah, hard hitting stuff. I’ve done my share of those cartoons in the past but that was when I was on the staff of a newspaper and editors LOVE light-heart crap. I’m sure many of my newspaper clients would like for me to draw more of those.

I don’t disagree that waiting sucks. But complaining about long lines is like complaining about the weather.

With the downing of EgyptAir maybe we should keep things a bit more in perspective.

I have had no personal experience with waiting in a country other than the United States, but I have read Americans have the least amount of patience. I’m probably the worst one. I hate waiting in traffic, in lines, for people,girls (seriously, girls. Why?) trailers at the movies, my dog to hurry up and poop. I lose patience with microwaves. Hurry up and pop that popcorn, dammit!

But you know what’s worst than waiting in line at a TSA checkpoint? Exploding. Exploding would suck. Drowning sucks too. Also, eaten by sharks. That’s probably not a good time.

I think it’s too soon to blame this on terrorists. ISIS hasn’t even taken credit yet which is surprising, even if they didn’t do it. Whether this was terrorism or not, it’s a reminder that having the TSA keeping us safe is a good thing. Even if you have to smell someone’s stinky feet on your way to your flight.

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Flexing Muscles For Brussels


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It didn’t take Republicans long to politicize the Tuesday’s terrorist bombings in Brussels, Belgium. About 12 seconds after locating Belgium on the globe Trump and Cruz took off.

Trump brought back his torture argument (we could make them listen to his speeches and attempt to articulate one of his “best words” sentences). Cruz went farther and said we should patrol Muslim neighborhoods. Why didn’t they just propose shooting every brown person in the head?

They have already proposed making Muslims wear special IDs and prohibiting them entering the country if they’re from a nation or region where ISIS operates. We could just invade the wrong country again and see if it works this time.

It’s crazy they go into these nationalistic proposals regarding terrorism, such as sending storm troopers into the suburbs, but they don’t really want to do anything about gun violence in our nation. Well, other than the proposal of more guns.

With that argument maybe more terrorists will defeat terrorism.

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Putin Pulls Out


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Russian president Vladimir Putin surprised the world today by announcing he’s pulling his nation’s troops out of Syria.

Russia entered the Syrian civil war under the guise of fighting ISIS, and they had good reason after ISIS took down a Russian airliner. But it was ruse as Putin’s army spent most of their time fighting rebels attempting to destroy Syrian president Bashar Assad’s reign of terror.

Putin is declaring “mission accomplished” and claims the terrorists are on the run. Though he’s pulling out the majority of his force there will still be an air presence and of course Russia still maintains a naval base in Syria, which it has since the early 1990’s. They can still drop bombs in Syria anytime they want.

While Putin claims he was fighting terrorists, he spent most of his time bombing schools, markets, and hospitals and then claimed they didn’t exist. Well, they didn’t after he bombed them. Guess who’s still there? ISIS.

So why is Russia pulling out? First, they could be lying. They claim they’re not in Ukraine but they are. The real reason is probably that Putin has achieved his goal and that’s a seat at the peace talks and stability in his relationship with Assad. Syria is a stalemate and will probably stay that way for years. That’s good enough for Russia as they can maintain their bases in the Mediterranean, and Syria is their only source for that. After helping Assad for six months Putin’s influence with Assad is greatly influenced.

Let’s not forget that Donald Trump isn’t the only conservative who admires Vladimir Putin. Other Republicans, like Sarah Palin, have mentioned how he’s a “real leader” unlike our own president. Nice!

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Until Sand Glows In The Dark


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Ted Cruz says if he’s elected president, he’ll carpet bomb ISIS until sand glows in the dark. I know Senator Cruz loves portraits of himself, but does he own carpet? Does he know how it works? He says he’ll avoid bombing cities with his carpet bombing as he’ll only bomb where ISIS is located. If he can take his own head out of the sand (or a certain part of his anatomy) then maybe he’ll realize ISIS is in Mosul, Ramadi, Raqqa, Fallujah, and Hawija. Those, Senator Cruz, are cities.

Donald Trump promises he’ll “bomb the bleep out of them” and plans to put hits on terrorists’ families.  Marco Rubio wants to insert ground troops. Chris Christie says we’re in World War III, and in case war with ISIS doesn’t bring Armageddon fast enough, he’ll take pot shots at Russian planes. Lindsey Graham says he misses George W. Bush and wishes he was still president. On top of all that they’re waging a campaign that we’re at war with Islam. This is the kind of stuff that’s music to the ears of ISIS and they use it to recruit new fighters.

The funny and scary thing is all of these candidates’ solutions to destroy ISIS are the very things that created ISIS.

These candidates claim they want to defeat ISIS. Maybe they’ll actually help with that after providing recruiting material for future ISIS newsletters.

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I Can Haz Jihad?


cjones12152015

Can we restrict people from entering this country if they’re annoying and self indulgent? Yes, we should prevent dangerous people from crossing our borders, but I think we should add selfie queens (that includes you dudes too) to the list. We have enough insecure people who were born here who can’t resist the urge to share their neuroses with the entire world, why invite more? And don’t get me started on cat pictures. Dog pictures are OK. In fact, being a dog lover should move people to the front of the line.

News reveals that the Jihadist chick who was one of the terrorists in the San Bernardino shootings entered the country without having her social media checked out? What? I doubt you can get a decent job without someone from human resources checking out your Facebook and judging your cleavage and nights of drunken hootenannies. If Burger King wants to see your thong, then why shouldn’t DHS also take a peek?

I don’t think we should stop people from coming to our country. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be vetted, or that the process we’re using now is perfect. Hell, the 19 hijackers responsible for 9/11 entered the country on visas. Everyone needs to be checked out whether they’re students or a fiance for a U.S. born loser who can’t get an American date and orders a bride from the Philippines.

So why didn’t Homeland Security check out Tashfeen Malik’ s Facebook page? Sure, stereotyping is bad but she had been a resident of two nations, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, where people are trained to hate the United States. Reportedly, she made several posts expressing a desire to join ISIL. Her posts were private and could only be seen by her most trusted Jihadists friends, but DHS should have checked it out anyway. I’m sure the NSA is spying on U.S. citizen’s social media, so DHS could probably hack her Facebook and see whether she had a massive crush on Matthew McConaughey or Jihadi John. We need to know if her sugar daddy is Abu Bakr al Baghdadi.

So yeah, check out social media. See if they hate America or just hate Nickelback. And if anyone from the National Security Agency is checking this out, please don’t put me on the No-Fly List for “I Can Have Jihad?”.

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