Screw you, Iowa.

It’s not like you didn’t have time to prepare. Nothing snuck up on you because you’ve had the distinction of being the first state to vote since 1972. And you decided to use an app you had more difficulty navigating than an elderly man ordering Uber Eats.

The vote was Monday. It’s now Wednesday and we’re still not sure Pete Buttigieg is the winner. And, with your system, you don’t have to have the most votes to win the most delegates. So my question is: Can we be done with Iowa now?

Sure, let Iowa have caucuses or primaries or however they want to mess things up, but let’s stop allowing them to be the first in the nation.

We should remove this distinction because it’s a misrepresentation. It’s not a fair vote. A lot of people don’t have time to caucus. With a 90% white majority population, the state isn’t just non-representative of the Democratic Party, but also of the nation. I mean, with 90% white, they’re perfect to be the first GOP primary/caucus, but c’mon. And the candidates put all this focus, times, money, and so does the media, into something that doesn’t reflect most Americans.  Most of the state is rural so unless you own a tractor, it doesn’t reflect you. And on top of all that, it’s a Trump state that’s given us Steve King. Even the second state isn’t representative, as it’s 94% white.

I get that you want the first vote to be in a small state, so how about Maryland or Delaware? Or better yet, make the third state the first and let’s do it in South Carolina.

No candidate is going to make a case to move the first primaries from Iowa and New Hampshire because then they’ll definitely lose those primaries…which would take us a week to find out because nobody in Iowa can count votes.

Maybe the biggest argument to stop with Iowa is that allowing them to muck everything up is a horrible way to start a presidential race. It even allows the Republicans, who rigged their primary for Trump, claim the Democrats can’t run a primary.

So let’s have a vote to remove the first votes from Iowa…but let’s count those votes somewhere else.

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Gun Baby


The elected lunatics in Iowa want to arm children. Yeah, they think that’s a good idea. They’re actually passing legislation to that effect.

Last year 215 people were accidentally shot by children. Little Junior is a greater threat than ISIS.

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Iowa Coin Toss


Ever see one of the many scenes in Family Guy where Cleveland is naked in his bathtub, his house destroyed and he and the tub are about to crash to the ground from the second story? As the tub is sliding before eventually falling, Cleveland is saying “no, no, no, no.” That’s pretty much every human being’s reaction before any physical contact with Ted Cruz. The guy is creepy.

That was his daughter’s reaction this week when Daddy Ted came in for a kiss. No, no, no, no…ew. It happened.

Everybody hates Ted. His college roommate hates him so much that he’ll pick anyone in the phone book for president over Ted Cruz. A lot of people would extend that list to include those with unlisted numbers. Ted is probably responsible for a lot of people changing their digits.

George W. Bush said “I just don’t like the guy.” John Boehner called him a “jackass.” John McCain, Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, Lindsey O. Graham, John Cornyn, John Thune, and Tom Coburn have all publicly stated in regards to Cruz, “ew.” Bob Dole said that if Cruz is the nominee that he might oversleep on election day.

Not one member of the U.S. Senate, Cruz’s colleagues, has endorsed him for president. Ted Cruz was the kind of kid that required a pork chop tied around his neck so his dog would play with him. During his college years he would hang outside the women’s showers in a bathrobe. Reportedly the women are still trying to wash the ick off.

On top of all that he looks like Grandpa Munster and he has really tiny hands. I don’t care who you are, that’s just creepy.

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Trump Gets Corny


Didn’t Donald Trump see that Stephen King movie? You know the one. Where you’re not supposed to go into the corn field.

The latest polls have Ben Carson leading among Republican candidates in Iowa, where corn is big, and Jesus is, as Donald Trump would say, HUGE to Republicans. I can see where one doesn’t have a lot of faith in Trump’s faith. It seems the only religion Trump practices is self worship.

How does Trump react? He suggests that genetically modified corn is warping Iowans’ brains. The Donald sent a retweet (which is taking something somebody tweeted that you like, so you retweet it. People do that all day long with my cartoons).  What he tweeted was “Ben Carson is now leading in the polls in Iowa. Too much Monsanto in the corn creates issues in the brain?”

That didn’t sit well with Iowans, crows and scarecrows (and if scarecrow gets a brain from the Wizard then he probably wouldn’t be voting for Carson, Trump or any Republican).

Trump backtracked and since he couldn’t say the dog ate his homework, blamed the retweet on a “young intern.” I don’t buy that lame excuse. I don’t believe anyone has access to Trump’s Twitter other than Trump. You don’t give other people access to your social media. I once left my phone in a room with my drummer who took it and under my Twitter tweeted I was wearing panty hose. You never give your twitter to interns or drummers. They’re crazy people and the next thing you know you’re apologizing to farmers and being asked to play Dr. Frankenfurter in a local musical production.

It is kinda funny that saying racist, sexist, insulting and just general crazy stuff doesn’t hurt Trump but one comment on corn and it all goes to Hell.

Aw shucks (get it? Shucks? Never mind).

Trumping The Press


Just because I don’t draw enough Donald Trump cartoons.

The media tends to stick up for each other. When Obama tried to keep Fox News out of White House press briefings the other journalists in the White House Press Pool stood up for the Fox News reporters. Say what you will about Fox but they ARE the media (no matter how much they and their viewers complain about the media).

Tuesday Donald Trump started his Iowa press conference by throwing out Univision’s Jorge Ramos. The second question he received “why did you throw out Mr. Ramos?”.

I immediately thought “here we go again” and “I know what the press will be talking about for the next two days…and what I’m going to draw about next.”

Trump claimed he didn’t throw Ramos out though it was his bodyguard hustling him out the door with his hands on him the entire time. He also claimed he didn’t know Ramos though he stated “go back to Univision” as if it’s a town in Mexico (I stole that line from editorial cartoonist Lalo Alcarez). and he’s suing Univision for $5 million.

There’s usually different protocols for different politicians at press conferences. For Trump, he selects who can ask him a question. Before he started his press conference Ramos was asking questions pretty loudly. At a lot of press conferences that’s how it’s done. You try to shout out a question louder than other reporters and why everyone covets a front row seat. Ramos wouldn’t stop talking. Eventually Trump let Ramos back in and sparred with him over immigration for about five minutes.

Trump has extremely thin skin. He doesn’t take kindly to being asked a difficult question like “can you be more specific?” The “I’m rich” and “I’m very successful” responses don’t always satisfy a journalist’s question on something as intricate like “how are you going to build that 1,933 mile wall?” or  “how will you go about abolishing the 14th Amendment?” Them be some head scratchers. Trump doesn’t like to think too hard and scratch his head. He might mess up his comb over.

He also doesn’t think it’s fair to ask him “why do you treat women unfairly by calling them fat pigs?”. He’s been going at Fox News’ Megyn Kelly for a few weeks now. He gets angry at Fox and then Roger Ailes calls him and they mend fences and suddenly Kelly is on a surprise vacation. After she returns from vacation Trump goes off again, says she sucks and he’s doing well in polls. Ailes comes out in defense of Kelly and says Fox is doing well in ratings and they’re “Fair And Balanced” blah blah blah. Rachel Maddow is right. Watching Trump and Fox spar is like trying to choose a favorite between Godzilla and Rodan (or was it Mothra?). You know, I think Trump will win and Fox will cave. I totally expect Megyn Kelly to be on hurricane coverage in the near future.

Trump’s fight with the press goes back even farther. Do you know which media organization was not present at his press conference in Iowa? Only Iowa’s largest newspaper, the Des Moines Register. A few months ago the Register’s editorial page called on Trump to quit his presidential run. Never mind the fact that Trump says Hillary should quit, and Bush should quit, and Rubio should quit, and Paul should quit, etc. The only thing Trump wants to quit is Oreos (he hates anything that’s black and white. Ask Obama). He didn’t take kindly to that and has banned the Register’s reporters from attending his events. Someone has probably attempted to explain to him that a newspaper’s editorial page is separate from it’s news room but that might require a little more depth of understanding than Trump is capable.

My negative cartoon coverage of Trump (and their being shown on CNN) is probably why Trump doesn’t let me hang out with him. He never calls.

Here’s the first rough of the cartoon.


I didn’t like the angle so I roughed it out again.


This was my first idea. I’m glad I passed it over and included Trump’s treatment of the media in general, instead of just one guy.