Iowa

Gun Baby


cjones02282016

The elected lunatics in Iowa want to arm children. Yeah, they think that’s a good idea. They’re actually passing legislation to that effect.

Last year 215 people were accidentally shot by children. Little Junior is a greater threat than ISIS.

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Iowa Coin Toss


cjones02032016

Ever see one of the many scenes in Family Guy where Cleveland is naked in his bathtub, his house destroyed and he and the tub are about to crash to the ground from the second story? As the tub is sliding before eventually falling, Cleveland is saying “no, no, no, no.” That’s pretty much every human being’s reaction before any physical contact with Ted Cruz. The guy is creepy.

That was his daughter’s reaction this week when Daddy Ted came in for a kiss. No, no, no, no…ew. It happened.

Everybody hates Ted. His college roommate hates him so much that he’ll pick anyone in the phone book for president over Ted Cruz. A lot of people would extend that list to include those with unlisted numbers. Ted is probably responsible for a lot of people changing their digits.

George W. Bush said “I just don’t like the guy.” John Boehner called him a “jackass.” John McCain, Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, Lindsey O. Graham, John Cornyn, John Thune, and Tom Coburn have all publicly stated in regards to Cruz, “ew.” Bob Dole said that if Cruz is the nominee that he might oversleep on election day.

Not one member of the U.S. Senate, Cruz’s colleagues, has endorsed him for president. Ted Cruz was the kind of kid that required a pork chop tied around his neck so his dog would play with him. During his college years he would hang outside the women’s showers in a bathrobe. Reportedly the women are still trying to wash the ick off.

On top of all that he looks like Grandpa Munster and he has really tiny hands. I don’t care who you are, that’s just creepy.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Trump Gets Corny


cjones10252015

Didn’t Donald Trump see that Stephen King movie? You know the one. Where you’re not supposed to go into the corn field.

The latest polls have Ben Carson leading among Republican candidates in Iowa, where corn is big, and Jesus is, as Donald Trump would say, HUGE to Republicans. I can see where one doesn’t have a lot of faith in Trump’s faith. It seems the only religion Trump practices is self worship.

How does Trump react? He suggests that genetically modified corn is warping Iowans’ brains. The Donald sent a retweet (which is taking something somebody tweeted that you like, so you retweet it. People do that all day long with my cartoons).  What he tweeted was “Ben Carson is now leading in the polls in Iowa. Too much Monsanto in the corn creates issues in the brain?”

That didn’t sit well with Iowans, crows and scarecrows (and if scarecrow gets a brain from the Wizard then he probably wouldn’t be voting for Carson, Trump or any Republican).

Trump backtracked and since he couldn’t say the dog ate his homework, blamed the retweet on a “young intern.” I don’t buy that lame excuse. I don’t believe anyone has access to Trump’s Twitter other than Trump. You don’t give other people access to your social media. I once left my phone in a room with my drummer who took it and under my Twitter tweeted I was wearing panty hose. You never give your twitter to interns or drummers. They’re crazy people and the next thing you know you’re apologizing to farmers and being asked to play Dr. Frankenfurter in a local musical production.

It is kinda funny that saying racist, sexist, insulting and just general crazy stuff doesn’t hurt Trump but one comment on corn and it all goes to Hell.

Aw shucks (get it? Shucks? Never mind).

Trumping The Press


cjones08262015

Just because I don’t draw enough Donald Trump cartoons.

The media tends to stick up for each other. When Obama tried to keep Fox News out of White House press briefings the other journalists in the White House Press Pool stood up for the Fox News reporters. Say what you will about Fox but they ARE the media (no matter how much they and their viewers complain about the media).

Tuesday Donald Trump started his Iowa press conference by throwing out Univision’s Jorge Ramos. The second question he received “why did you throw out Mr. Ramos?”.

I immediately thought “here we go again” and “I know what the press will be talking about for the next two days…and what I’m going to draw about next.”

Trump claimed he didn’t throw Ramos out though it was his bodyguard hustling him out the door with his hands on him the entire time. He also claimed he didn’t know Ramos though he stated “go back to Univision” as if it’s a town in Mexico (I stole that line from editorial cartoonist Lalo Alcarez). and he’s suing Univision for $5 million.

There’s usually different protocols for different politicians at press conferences. For Trump, he selects who can ask him a question. Before he started his press conference Ramos was asking questions pretty loudly. At a lot of press conferences that’s how it’s done. You try to shout out a question louder than other reporters and why everyone covets a front row seat. Ramos wouldn’t stop talking. Eventually Trump let Ramos back in and sparred with him over immigration for about five minutes.

Trump has extremely thin skin. He doesn’t take kindly to being asked a difficult question like “can you be more specific?” The “I’m rich” and “I’m very successful” responses don’t always satisfy a journalist’s question on something as intricate like “how are you going to build that 1,933 mile wall?” or  “how will you go about abolishing the 14th Amendment?” Them be some head scratchers. Trump doesn’t like to think too hard and scratch his head. He might mess up his comb over.

He also doesn’t think it’s fair to ask him “why do you treat women unfairly by calling them fat pigs?”. He’s been going at Fox News’ Megyn Kelly for a few weeks now. He gets angry at Fox and then Roger Ailes calls him and they mend fences and suddenly Kelly is on a surprise vacation. After she returns from vacation Trump goes off again, says she sucks and he’s doing well in polls. Ailes comes out in defense of Kelly and says Fox is doing well in ratings and they’re “Fair And Balanced” blah blah blah. Rachel Maddow is right. Watching Trump and Fox spar is like trying to choose a favorite between Godzilla and Rodan (or was it Mothra?). You know, I think Trump will win and Fox will cave. I totally expect Megyn Kelly to be on hurricane coverage in the near future.

Trump’s fight with the press goes back even farther. Do you know which media organization was not present at his press conference in Iowa? Only Iowa’s largest newspaper, the Des Moines Register. A few months ago the Register’s editorial page called on Trump to quit his presidential run. Never mind the fact that Trump says Hillary should quit, and Bush should quit, and Rubio should quit, and Paul should quit, etc. The only thing Trump wants to quit is Oreos (he hates anything that’s black and white. Ask Obama). He didn’t take kindly to that and has banned the Register’s reporters from attending his events. Someone has probably attempted to explain to him that a newspaper’s editorial page is separate from it’s news room but that might require a little more depth of understanding than Trump is capable.

My negative cartoon coverage of Trump (and their being shown on CNN) is probably why Trump doesn’t let me hang out with him. He never calls.

Here’s the first rough of the cartoon.

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I didn’t like the angle so I roughed it out again.

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This was my first idea. I’m glad I passed it over and included Trump’s treatment of the media in general, instead of just one guy.

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