Hurricane

Bahama Trauma


cjones09192019

Donald Trump is an idiot and a racist which means he’s too stupid to come up with good covers for his racism.

Hurricane Dorian devastated the Bahamas last week with 200-mile-per hour winds for nearly 38 hours. At least 50 people have died and the Abacos islands are nearly destroyed. Many Bahamians are seeking temporary protection status in the U.S. and a bipartisan group of lawmakers, mostly from Florida, are calling on Donald Trump to relax visa requirements.

Naturally, since a majority of Bahamians’ skin has a darker pigmentation than “real” Americans, Trump isn’t enthusiastic about letting them into the country. But what excuse does he use to deny them?

Monday, Trump told reporters, “I don’t want to allow people that weren’t supposed to be in the Bahamas to come into the United States, including some very bad people, and some very bad gang members, and some very, very bad drug dealers.” Yeah, we only want the good gang members and good drug dealers.

Basically, Trump is saying the Bahamas is trying to send us rapists and murderers though he assumes, some are very good people.

As usual, Trump is lying. He’s arguing that drug dealers and gang members infiltrated the Bahamas to ride out a hurricane and use it as a cover to infiltrate the U.S. If you’re dumb enough to buy that, well, you’re a Republican.

The DEA said in a 2018 report (if you’re a Republican, 2018 was last year) that only seven percent of cocaine, heroin, and marijuana came to the U.S. from the Caribbean in 2017. In fact (if you’re a Republican, a “fact” is something that is true, not something that comes out of Trump’s mouth), the DEA says there’s been an increase of drugs entering the Bahamas from the United States.

Do you know what I hear about the United States? I hear there are some very bad people, and some very bad bang members, and some very, very bad drug dealers there. It’s so bad that Republicans are wearing ugly red hats stating the country isn’t great.

Also, maybe nobody should let us into their country because I hear the United States has a very, very bad president.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Sharpiegate


cjones09122019

I don’t know which surprises me more, that Donald Trump didn’t produce a map he had thrown actual spaghetti at, or that he didn’t hire hack cultist, propagandist, and conspiracy theorist Ben Garrison to draw him a new one.

In the middle of last week, there were spaghetti models showing possible tracks for Hurricane Dorian that stretched from Louisiana to New England. By Sunday, the National Weather Service was forecasting Dorian to move up the coast of Florida to the Carolinas.

Last Sunday, Trump tweeted a false claim that Alabama was at risk from Dorian. Experts pointed out he was wrong and that Alabama was NOT going to feel any impact from the hurricane. Trump got butthurt and started attacking reporters and meteorologists for pointing out his error, and for trying to provide accurate information during an impending disaster to the American public.

Wednesday, Trump tweeted out an old spaghetti model showing potential impacts to Alabama, but it was from LAST Wednesday. By Sunday, when he said Alabama was at risk, it wasn’t. Typically, when a mature adult makes a mistake like this, they own it and everyone moves on. As we’ve come to learn about Donald Trump, the president of the United States is NOT an adult and he NEVER moves on.

Yesterday in the Oval Office, Trump trotted out a graph from last week produced by the National Weather Service which someone had amateurishly extended the hurricane’s path toward Alabama. It looked almost like someone had doctored the weather map with a big Sharpie, the type a petty narcissist would use to create a giant, obnoxious signature, then display it to everyone in the room like a toddler proud to show off he finally made boom-boom in the potty by himself.

When asked later about the doctored image, Trump claimed he didn’t know who had scrawled on the map, like a baby who made a boom-boom in your hat. Sources from within the White House say an aide did it while others claim it was drawn by Trump himself.

Trump was wrong about Alabama being in danger and he won’t let it go. Now, everyone who works for him has to lie and try to make his position not sound insane. There are two reasons why he won’t let it.

The first reason is that his tweet claiming Alabama was in danger shows he was not “fully engaged” on the hurricane while he was playing golf. His tweet showed his focus was elsewhere, like the back nine. This is a man who attacked Obama for playing golf and claimed he never would as president. Instead, that’s another lie as he’s played golf at least 227 times at one of his resorts (in case you’re a Republican, 227 is more than zero). Say what you will about when Obama played golf, but he never sent out inaccurate information during a national crisis while doing so.

Another reason Trump won’t let it go is that he’s a narcissist. Narcissists can’t admit they were wrong, which is something that’s not a big deal for most people. But when a president is wrong about information during a national disaster, he may be putting lives at risk. But then again, his entire presidency has been one big campaign based on fear.

Trump has managed to make a national disaster a bigger disaster. Somewhere, George Bush’s FEMA director, Mike Brown, is saying, “Damn.”

For one thing, it’s against federal law to knowingly issue or publish any counterfeit weather forecasts that falsely represent an official forecast by government entities like the National Weather Service and National Hurricane Center. The penalty may be fines and even jail time. Not that Trump will be held responsible, of course. Hell, his attorney general is shelling out $30,000 to hold a party at his hotel (and if you haven’t been invited to the Bill Barr Trump party, congratulations!).

Trump also tweeted another lie during this hurricane. He claimed he was making a federal disaster declaration for North Carolina as requested by that state’s senator, Thom Tillis. That is a lie. Only governors have the authority to request a federal disaster declaration for their state. North Carolina’s governor is a Democrat. Tillis is a Republican. Trump has managed to make a hurricane partisan, which isn’t the first time. You didn’t see Obama giving credit to a New Jersey Democratic senator for the disaster declaration during Hurricane Sandy. No. That request was made by Chris Christie, a Republican. Christie even hugged Obama.

Trump also claimed that China would pay for hurricane relief. Seriously. He believes tariffs from his trade war will be paid by China and go directly to farmers in the Carolinas. Again, seriously. Here, Trump is lying and once again demonstrating he doesn’t understand how the economy, tariffs, or government works. Americans pay tariffs in this country, not China. The president can’t decide where the money from those tariffs will be spent. That’s Congress’ job unless of course, the Supreme Court decides to just chuck out the Constitution.

People who lie can be laughable. They can also be dangerous. A person who constantly lies about the little things won’t have any qualms about the big things. And narcissists who can’t admit they made an error, made a mistake, or committed a slight boo-boo, are always wrong.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Fully Engaged


cjones09102019

Don’t worry about Hurricane Dorian, America. Donald Trump is “fully engaged” At least that’s what White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham said.

Trump decided to be fully engaged from a golf cart at his resort in Virginia. He went golfing twice over the weekend (first at Camp David but that was a bit too slummy for him) and demonstrated his full-on engagement by warning Alabama that the hurricane was coming. Except, it’s not going anywhere near Alabama and the National Weather Service replied to this tweet with a tweet of their own saying, “We repeat, no impacts from Hurricane Dorian will be felt across Alabama.”

Trump attacked an ABC reporter for reporting Trump’s bone-headed weather report and said, “Always good to be prepared.” Since Alabama is a state where Trump has high approval ratings, they’re probably nailing plywood to their windows up in Huntsville…and in Oklahoma.

The ABC reporter wasn’t the only victim of Trump’s weekend tweeting during a national crisis. He sent out 122 tweets since Saturday morning attacking the media, James Comey, “the Squad,” the AFL-CIO president, and even actress Debra Messing.

Trump continued being engaged by informing the public that Dorian was at a category 5, the highest degree measured by meteorologists for hurricanes (before they turn into sharknados). Trump tweeted that he had never heard of a Category 5, tweeting, “A Category 5 is something that I don’t know that I’ve even heard the term, other than I know it’s there. That’s the ultimate.” It’s funny that he’s never heard the term “Category 5” before since, in 2017, he said the same thing. Dorian is the fourth Category 5 to threaten the United States during Trump’s presidency, yet he’s never heard of one before.

Keep in mind, this is a guy who knows so much about hurricanes that he thinks a nuclear bomb would solve them, yet he’s never heard of a Category 5. At any moment now, he should be tweeting that he knows more than the meteorologists.

Trump supporters, sycophants, and cultists who may be in the path of a hurricane. Do yourself a favor and suspend your faith in Donald Trump at least until the crisis is over. If you’re taking advice from Trump, you could die. It will be classified as “death by dumbass.” Do not monitor his Twitter feed for updates. This is a guy too preoccupied with scratching his ass and stealing golf balls from children (he’s done that) to worry about your safety. Also, he’s stubborn and will not allow himself to believe any basic facts if they contradict any longheld stupid-ass beliefs or conspiracy theories. Do not take survival advice from a conspiracy theorist. In fact, you might want to turn off Fox News while you’re at it. You don’t need Hannity and Tucker telling you that Trump’s coming to save you because he can walk on water.

Trump told us he’d be too busy presidenting to golf, unlike President Obama. But as you know by now, that was a lie. Trump is not too busy to play golf, even with a massive hurricane bearing down on the east coast of the United States. Trump has been so not busy presidenting that he’s been able to golf 227 times at one of his clubs since entering the White House.

But, since some people were stupid enough to sign up for Trump University, there will be people dumb enough to take his hurricane advice. But then again, who am I to complain? If we have more candidates for Darwin Awards, this entire Trump mess may balance itself out.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Tossers For Trump


cjones09072019

After Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico in 2017, Donald Trump went to the island and threw paper towels at the victims.

To say Donald Trump wasn’t prepared for the hurricane would be an understatement. A response wasn’t prepared until after the damage. Supplies, boats, and rescue personnel weren’t organized until after. Trump didn’t even know the people were American citizens, that he was their president, or that Puerto Rico was even an island until afterward.

During the paper towel trip, Trump berated the victims saying, “I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you threw out budget a little out of whack.” He told the victims they didn’t have a real catastrophe because it wasn’t like larger hurricanes that other presidents had to deal with. Afterward, he refused to accept that the death toll is nearly 3,000. He’s lied repeatedly about how much has been appropriated and spent on the recovery. To make matters worse, he engaged in feuds with the politicians of the island, calling them “corrupt.”

As Hurricane Dorian headed for Puerto Rico this week, Trump didn’t just tweet out concern for the citizens who are still recovering from Maria. He complained about having to spend government money on the island with, “Will it ever end?” He told the people that they should be thankful for the help, “not like last time,” and continued his feud with the mayor of San Juan (if you’re a Republican, San Juan is the capital of Puerto Rico), calling her “incompetent.” Then, he tweeted, “And by the way, I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to Puerto Rico!”

Puerto Rico was mostly spared and now Dorian is headed toward Florida. Did Trump start complaining about how much we may have to spend on hurricane relief for the state or start lobbing insults at the governor? Of course not.

Florida is a red state. The governor is a Republican. Trump won Florida and he’ll probably win it again as the state rejected the intelligent and eloquent Andrew Gillum for racist Ron DeSantis in 2018.

Trump praised DeSantis and even canceled a planned trip to Poland. Of course, neither Trump or DeSantis are mentioning that Trump has pulled funds away from FEMA to increase spending on punishing immigrants.

Trump likes to compare himself to President Obama, so let’s do that. When Hurricane Sandy hit New Jersey in 2012, President Obama didn’t complain about how much we’d have to spend on the recovery. He didn’t insult the citizens. He didn’t deny how big the storm was or how much damage was inflicted. He didn’t accuse the governor of having an eating disorder and call him a “fatty, fat, fat, fat.” Obama, like presidents before him, responded in a presidential manner. But maybe there’s something else that will drive Trump to give a presidential response to Dorian hitting Florida.

There’s more to Florida than just electoral votes or a population that’s not entirely made up of brown people. It contains two of his properties. Trump loves his properties. He mentions them every chance he gets. He visits them every chance he gets, spending over a quarter of his time as president at his golf resorts, driving on the green, cheating at golf, crashing weddings, eating chocolate cake, letting guests pose with the nuclear football, etc. Fun, fun. He’s even promoted his properties as president and has proposed his Doral club as the location for the 2020 G7 summit. He’s used the presidency to grift as much cash as he can into his resorts and hotels. It’ll be hard to do that if a hurricane wipes them out.

I’m not wishing for a hurricane to hit Florida. I’m not even hoping for a very precise strike that’ll only hit Mar-a-Lago and Trump Doral. But if it does, I’ll send paper towels.

Then, after sending paper towels, I can say, “I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to Donald Trump.”

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Trump Bomb


cjones09042019

It’s bonus cartoon Tuesday. It’s kinda like Taco Tuesday except there are no tacos and now I got you thinking about tacos.

I think how difficult it must be serving under someone like Trump where you can’t tell them something they said isn’t just stupid, but may just be the dumbest, most idiotic, made-everyone-else-in-the-room-dumber-for-it comment in the world. But, ya’ know. You can’t.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

FEMA Gets ICY


cjones09172018

I don’t want to deal you a total shocker, but the Trump administration doesn’t care about you. Donald Trump’s biggest concern is how he is perceived at doing the job he has no interest in doing. Most of Trump’s talk about the incoming hurricane is about how great he’s handled previous hurricanes.

Only three percent of Puerto Rico’s residents say Trump did an “excellent” job responding to Hurricane Maria. Trump claims he got “A pluses” for the job he has done with hurricanes, but to be fair, “Hurricane” may be the first name of several strippers he’s known over the years.

Trump has about as much empathy for hurricane victims as he does for immigrant children. A union representing the country’s 350 immigration judges slammed Attorney General Jeff Sessions for comments he made that suggested they were sidestepping the law and showing too much sympathy when handling certain cases. This is one area where Trump is very happy with Sessions. We can’t have too much sympathy over babies in jail or representing themselves in court.

Now, comes breaking news that the Trump administration has moved $10 million from FEMA to ICE to pay for immigrant detention and deportation. It’s not just ICE where they’re playing this shell game to incarcerate brown babies. They have shifted $200 million from other agencies for incarceration and deportation. Trump hates immigrants so much, that ICE has blown its budget. It’s an asshole agenda.

What became of the claim that conservatives are fiscally responsible? Oh, yeah! That claim has been around forever, it just hasn’t been factual. But, hey. There’s no better time to defund FEMA right before hurricane season. This is the sort of decision brought to you by the same people who thought Trump deodorant would be a big seller. Because everybody wants to smell like Donald Trump. Now, you too can smell like an old racist who’s been in bed all day with cheeseburgers.

FEMA claims none of the money came from their response unit, but that’s actually a lie. Brock Long, the head of FEMA, says there’s “no story here.” But, keep in mind, he is a Trump appointee.

If you’re a Trump supporter and hurricane survivor this year, take comfort that you’ve sacrificed your community to throw more brown babies in jail. Actually, you probably will.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Climate Cliche


cjones09072017

I don’t know which is more ironic. Conservatives who deny the science of climate change who are in areas affected by natural disasters, or the same conservatives asking for federal money for those disasters while screaming against the ill effects of socialism.

Wildfires are raging across the West in Oregon, California, Washington state, Utah, Idaho, Colorado, and Montana, and they’ve already burned over seven million acres. Houston, the Texas and Louisiana coasts are still drying out from Hurricane Harvey. Many people are estimating that the rebuilding will cost over $150 billion. That’s billions. Hurricane Irma is sweeping through the Caribbean and is aiming straight for Florida or South Carolina, and is the largest Atlantic hurricane ever recorded since they started recording hurricanes.

Your rigid partisan beliefs don’t change facts. They don’t change science. Harvey and Irma aren’t taking polls while they’re destroying your house. The climate doesn’t care what you believe, or that you don’t know the difference between “climate” and “weather.”

You’ll refuse to acknowledge wildfires and catastrophic level hurricanes are evidence of climate change, but I’m sure you’ll point out that February snow in Buffalo proves it doesn’t exist.

Like the guy in the cartoon, I’ll be rolling my eyes at you.

Creative notes: This cartoon is exactly why a lot of my colleagues don’t like me and I don’t have any friends. I make fun of them. Before we can make fun of other people, we have to learn how to laugh at ourselves. A lot of cartoonists haven’t figured that out. But in their defense, I can be a jerk.

Over the past week and then some, several cartoonists drew the guy in the water with a sign saying “climate change is a hoax.” Every cartoonist will have the same idea as another cartoonist from time to time (it happened to me last week), but some avoid the herds. At least they weren’t the same guys who drew arks. Someone lazy always draws an ark.

So, I tried to take the cliche and make fun of it while making an actual statement on the issue, while also realizing most readers won’t understand it’s a cliche. Most newspaper editors seem to love the most obvious ideas. I’ll be honest and admit that I often draw cartoons while not being sure if they actually work that well. This is one of them. I wait for the reactions. The worst reaction is no reaction.

My friend and colleague Matt Davies did draw one the other day that definitely worked. He was probably aware of all the “wading climate denier” cartoons and decided to put a twist on it. He’s one of the more brilliant people doing this job and his cartoon actually included a topic most haven’t tackled yet, myself included. I’m still jealous.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.