GOP Debate

A Republican Promise


cjones01152016

Other than the ten-minute argument between Trump and Cruz over birtherism and New York values, what you can get from the latest Republican debate is that they promise to get rid of Obama. The only way to sum up the rest of the debate is that they’re all idiots.

Jeb Bush says the country is worse now than before Obama became president. He must be thinking of his brother’s tenure in the Oval Office. Osama is dead, gas prices are under two bucks a gallon, and we still have an automobile industry. Also, employment is up and the rate of government spending has slowed down greatly.

They still don’t understand the U.S. military is the strongest in the world.

They’re promising that if Iran ever takes U.S. sailors hostage again that they’ll get them released quicker than ten hours, which is what Obama did.

Some want to ban all Muslims from entering the country and others only want to ban some Muslims.

They still hate brown people. They still love guns and God. Rubio said our rights come from God, not the government.

All of the candidates are running against Obama, despite Obama leaving office next January. Chris Christie made the dumbest statement of the night, which is quite an achievement considering there were other Republicans on stage, including Ben Carson. Christie said “I hope the President is watching tonight because here’s what I’d like to tell him. We are going to kick your rear end out of the White House come this fall.”

Christie, you’re not kicking anybody anywhere. Obama is leaving in January whether a Republican wins the White House or it goes to Bernie or Hillary. I expect by the next debate Christie will be kicked to the kids’ table.

These guys should be grateful Obama is limited to two terms. He’d clean their clocks in another election.

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Time To Unfriend


cjones12172015

I made comments about making a Star Wars analogy this week but I honestly didn’t plan to. What do you know, I got one in anyway.

There’s been a social media trend over the past few weeks to ditch friends on social media who support Trump. I’ve seen posts stating “if you support Donald Trump then go ahead and unfriend me now.” A lot of people don’t have patience or tolerance for the Trump Trolls.

I think most people don’t like to hear anything they disagree with. But c’mon. It didn’t take Donald Trump to reveal which of your friends are bigots, racists, homophobic, xenophobic jerks.

Yes, it’s hard to tolerate someone who supports a candidate who runs a campaign like a school yard bully without any specifics. It’s hard to reason with someone who supports bigotry and can’t grasp nuance. But I take the position that it’s good to know which of my friends are idiots and support the total and complete destruction of the United States of America.

I’m not unfriending anyone for supporting Trump. It goes the other way too and if they’ve spent all these years tolerating my liberal views, which they hate, then I can put up with their being a troll. Well, at least the ones who haven’t blocked me yet.

Sloppy, hateful politics I can tolerate. If you spoil Star Wars for me I’ll kill you. Not literally, but in the virtual world I will do to you what Obi Wan Kenobi did to Darth Maul. Yes, I will chop you in half and drop you down a seemingly bottomless energy shaft on Naboo.

In fact, anytime I see “Star Wars” in a post I continue scrolling. I won’t finish reading the sentence. I will not read a review, no matter how bold the text claims it doesn’t contain spoilers. I’m going to see the movie anyway so no review can influence whether I see the movie or not. The bad thing is, I might be the last person to see the movie. I need to find a way to go into a Facebook/Twitter carbonite freeze until I see the movie.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Bomb Hoax


cjones12162015

Wouldn’t it be nice if Republicans could express as much concern for stuff that happens as they do for stuff that doesn’t happen?

Republicans and conservatives are still upset over a student taking a clock to school. They referred to it as a fake bomb even thought it wasn’t ever a “fake bomb.” It was a clock.

During Tuesday night’s Republican debate the candidates talked about our climate of fear and made several references to the day’s bomb scares in Los Angeles and New York City. They made it out to be Obama’s fault there are bomb threats. They expressed concern for how the event would scar children. I guess Republicans aren’t aware that school shootings inflict a hell of a lot more trauma on children than bomb scares.

How many times did the GOP candidates mention school shootings, the recent shooting at Planned Parenthood, or any mass shootings that weren’t committed by a Muslim? Zero.

The entire night was about ISIS. ISIS is responsible for the shooting in San Bernardino and Operation Rescue and all of the GOP candidates who perpetuated lies on PP share responsibility for the shooting in Colorado.

We can talk about ISIS and bombing them until the “sand glows” but we can’t talk about Americans shooting Americans.

Here’s what disqualifies a candidate for the presidency: Saying we’re in World War III. Wanting to start World War III. Saying ISIS wants to destroy our way of life, they hate us for our freedom, or if they’re an actual threat to conquer our country.. If you don’t have an understanding of the situation then you can’t combat the situation. Other statements that should disqualify a candidate is stating they’ll shoot down Russian jets, you wish George W. Bush was still president, and that Donald Trump is more qualified than Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, or a block of fermented cheese.

The entire night was about Killing, war, killing, hating Muslims, killing, hating Hispanics, and killing. The room was full of gung ho draft dodgers and people who never served.

The candidates also had it out over immigration. I’m starting to think Ted Cruz’s and Marco Rubio’s families fled Cuba to get away from Hispanics. They really don’t seem to like their own ethnicity.

Jeb actually had the best one-liner. He said he doesn’t get his information from the shows like Trump and he didn’t know if those shows were on Saturday mornings or Sunday mornings. It was so good I doubt most Republican will understand it.

The only other highlights of last night’s debate were Carson still comes off confused, Carly is still lying, Rand Paul is talking the most sense so he’s killing himself, Christie and Jeb both might have helped their causes, and there was a massive make out session between Trump and Cruz. Who won the debate? I think Rubio has done the best through all the debates until last night. Rubio still did well but it looks to me that Cruz built upon his momentum. On top of all that, Republicans really like red ties. Fiorina wore a red dress.

Political analysts were saying this is the Christmas debate, as it’s what people will be talking about during the holidays. No they won’t. They won’t remember there was a debate. They’ll be talking about Star Wars.

Speaking of Star Wars, I made a sarcastic post yesterday on social media that I had to work a Star Wars analogy into my next cartoon. I was poking fun at all my colleagues who are all racing to do Star Wars.

 

Operation Racial Slur


cjones11122015

Is the inclusion of a racial slur in this cartoon offensive? Well it’s not as offensive as the United States government.

In the 1940’s the U.S. government deported Mexican immigrants in a program officially titled “Operation Wetback.” Mexico was a huge part of it.

During World War II the U.S. suffered from a labor shortage. Rosie The Riveter couldn’t compensate for the entire workforce. So in an arrangement with the United States Mexico sent workers to the U.S. in what was called the “Bracero Program” which allowed 4.6 million Mexicans to enter the U.S. legally (many still entered illegally as there were hefty fees involved). It was their contribution to the Allied effort to defeat the Axis and it helped Mexico not put any fighters or money into the effort. A few years after the war Mexico wanted those workers back, we wanted them gone, and a lot of them didn’t want to go. Thus the inspiration for Operation Wetback.

The program was initiated in President Eisenhower’s administration and it was a huge disaster. After being deported many immigrants just walked back. The Border Patrol started shaving immigrants’ heads before deportation so they’d know if they were repeat offenders.

It was a disaster. Estimates put the number of deportations at 250,000. Many immigrants were beaten and abused. Many were simply dropped into a desert, without food or water, and without knowing where they were or how to get home (imagine being from the U.S. East Coast and being dropped off in the Nevada Desert. Good luck getting home). One incident resulted in 88 immigrants’ death from heat stroke after being dropped off in the desert. A Mexican labor leader reported that Braceros were brought into Mexico like cows on trucks and unloaded fifteen miles down the highway from the border, in the desert. Others were deported on ships where a congressional investigation compared the conditions on the ships to that of an “eighteenth century slave ship.

During the fourth Republican debate Donald trump expressed he wants to emulate the program. Trump said Eisenhower “moved immigrants just beyond the border; they came back. Moved them again beyond the border; they came back. Didn’t like it. Moved them way south; they never came back. Dwight Eisenhower. You don’t get nicer, you don’t get friendlier.”

Trump’s inspiration is one of America’s greatest sins that’s comparable to the government’s internment of Japanese Americans, which a lot of people still say was the right thing to do.

This is where the blog gets long so I don’t blame you if you quit reading here…or start here. I don’t care.

I took a lot from the debate from Trump saying Americans are paid too much, Rubio saying Welders make more than philosophers, Carson’s claim that every time the minimum wage is increased that we lose jobs (and every candidate opposing a minimum wage increase). Dr. Carson, where I come from that’s called a lie.

Carly Fiorina jabbed at Trump, saying she too has met Vladimir Putin except it wasn’t in a green room. Actually it was in a green room. She also has some really dumb ideas to deal with Putin like putting missiles in Poland, conducting military exercises in the Balkans, and increasing our troops strength in Germany (like a few thousand more will make an impression), and never ever ever returning his phone calls. What’s scariest though is she wants to shoot down Russian jets. She said no one should tell America when and where it can fly, but thinks the U.S. can tell others when and where to fly. Fiorina also asked at one point “Can I say something as a chief executive who’s saved jobs and created jobs?” No. She can’t.

Marco Rubio really wants to go to war. First thing, Marco, we’re not in danger of being defeated by ISIS. In fact, ISIS is not a major threat to the United States. I know many people believe that’s a bold statement but I’m dealing with reality. He also wants to rebuild the military which makes me wonder what’s wrong with it now? We have the world’s strongest and largest military. We spend more than the next ten countries combined (Rand Paul pointed that out and it’s true). I really don’t want this 44-year-old guy who’s never served sending our people overseas into a war zone because he’s played Call Of Duty too many times. It also shows he really doesn’t care about spending. When Rand Paul questioned Rubio’s conservatism over his willingness to spend on wars, Rubio answered with “Murica!!!”. Pretty much.

Other takes are: Jeb Bush didn’t hurt himself this time. He didn’t help himself either but at least he didn’t set up a Rubio mic drop. Unfortunately, he wasn’t asked any questions about what babies he’d like to kill, other than Baby Hitler, while time traveling.

Ben Carson was difficult to comprehend and reminded me of the aliens in The Simpson’s running for president when one said “we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!” His policy on Syria, for example, was to make the Jihadists “look like losers” and “we’ll win.” I think he should get a “gotcha” question and be asked to locate Syria on a map, or the Middle East, or his ass. He claims his plan will work because he’s talked to generals. I wonder if it’s the same general who offered him a scholarship at West Point.

Bobby Jindal really thinks he’s been good for Louisiana. Huckabee is scary. Ted Cruz is scarier and really creepy and for Republicans that’s a really good thing. The guy, along with Jindal and Huckabee, is fresh returned from a I-Hate-Gays rally, hosted by a pastor who’s advocated the merely “politically-incorrect” stance that we should copy Uganda’s kill-gay-people policy. Cruz is that guy waiting for the girl to get her heart broken by the good looking guy (which compared to Cruz could be anyone) and cry on his shoulder while realizing she should just settle for Cruz. And he’ll never cheat on her with Kim Davis…probably. He’ll also eliminate the Commerce Department twice.

Most pundits believe Rubio and Cruz won the debate. Has anyone but me noticed Rubio gives a stern, stubborn, serious look with each answer and talks down condescendingly as if he’s the only one who loves America? Just me? OK then, am I the only one wonder how much product is in his hair?

John Kasich gave another great audition for the V.P. slot.

Rand Paul was actually honest and said a few things the red meat craving audience didn’t like. He opposed senseless wars and a bloated defense budget. He’s totally screwed.

Obvious my biggest takeaway was Trump’s enthusiasm for hating Mexicans. He should look into that.

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Debate Terms


cjones11042015

The Republicans have submitted debate demands to the networks. These include:

No “gotcha” questions. Basically any question a candidate can’t answer, like how their math doesn’t add up, is a gotcha question.

Nobody can bring props which really disappoints me. I was really hoping to see Ted Cruz make balloon animals.

They want a ten minute break. Apparently none of the candidates has a strong bladder. They’re not Hillary Clinton who can be grilled for 11 hours.

Each candidate will get a 30-second opening statement which was negotiated down from Ben Carson’s plan of 30-minute opening statements.

No lightning rounds which is sad because I was hoping candidates would get struck by lightning for each fib.

The temperature has to be kept at 67 degrees. I think this was a Rubio demand since they won’t let him bring a cooler on stage.

Donald Trump has said screw the Republican Party’s negotiations and he’ll negotiate separately. Does that mean the room will be like a fancy car’s air system where the area over Trump’s podium will be kept at a different temperature? Will Trump negotiate a lifeline?

I think I drew the candidates in bikinis a couple of months ago. I can’t remember when or what point I was making (I just looked it up. I drew them as transgenders and it was published June 2). I usually can’t remember what I drew yesterday. However I do remember that yesterday I drew soldiers in women’s heels. I don’t know why I like drawing guys in drag. I’m not right. I’m going to blame it on watching too many Bugs Bunny cartoons as a kid. I also like the idea that somewhere soon someone will gag on their Cheerios while reading their morning paper. I also get small pleasure when someone informs me I made them spit coffee on their keyboard.

You read these cartoons at your own risk. You know how warped my mind is.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. The starving cartoonist appreciates it.

Crazy Uncle


cjones11022015

Sometimes the crazy uncle isn’t living in an attic wearing a tin foil hat.

But they’re out there listening to Rush, watching Fox News, and believing Obama is coming for their guns and he’ll destroy the Constitution to serve a third term. They consider themselves Patriots and they support our troops while wanting militia members to shoot them if they cross the Texas state border. They support the police, unless the police try to remove a racist from letting his cattle graze on federal land. They believe there should be drug testing for those on welfare, while probably being on welfare themselves. They still believe there were WMDs in Iraq and we found them but the media is keeping it a secret. They believe Hillary Clinton ordered the attack on Benghazi. They know deep in their hearts that the president is a foreign-born-Communist Muslim and that he supports terrorists and has a secret agenda to destroy the United States. They will tell you all about Obama’s “apology tour” where he’s apologized for the United States and doesn’t believe in American exceptionalism. They talk about Michelle Obama’s trillion dollar costs to the taxpayers vacations. They swear gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage and they know this because thrice-married Rush Limbaugh told them so. Cops never profile African Americans. Illegal aliens are voting (for Democrats) and using up social services. Don’t get them started on how Obama stole the presidency.

That’s who Republicans want to moderate their debate.

I understand none of the candidates are as tough or has the endurance of Hillary Clinton who can tackle partisan, nasty questions for 11 hours. Two hours of being asked to explain a tax policy is difficult for the GOP. I also understand if they find Anderson Cooper more intimidating than Vladimir Putin.

It does boggle my mind that someone trying to convince us he’s not a total crazy person and should be president says future moderators should prove they’ve voted Republican. Who do these people want asking them questions? Their moms?

So anyway, go scream up at the attic and see if your uncle can fit it into his schedule.

I was going to draw a cartoon on another subject. Then I got this idea and I was going to wait a day to draw it. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to go ahead and do this idea. I sketched it out more than once as I had a very difficult time with the angle. After being happy with a rough version I tackled it on the good paper and I had to erase about 15 times.

Here’s the rough.

WP_20151101_002

Hate The Way They Moderate


cjones10302015

A really odd thing happened at the Republican debate Wednesday night that really upset the candidates. The moderators asked questions.

The debate was hosted by CNBC and honestly, the moderators weren’t very good. They weren’t prepared and plodded along clumsily. Stupid questions were asked, which has happened at the other debates. They also asked some pointed questions.

Ted Cruz attacked the moderators and the liberal media after being asked a question about the debt ceiling. He never did answer the actual question. Rubio, Carson, Trump, and Christie all jumped on the bandwagon along with conservative audience. Hating the media…the liberal media…is red meat for Republicans. Jeb Bush can only be angry at himself because it wasn’t the moderators who made him attack Rubio only to be served by the absentee senator.

I watched a bit of Fox News today and they kept criticizing the left wing mainstream media. At some point, maybe, Fox will realize they are the mainstream media and all major media is corporate owned. Hell, not only is the largest network conservative, so is the Wall Street Journal and the most popular talk radio program. So the conservative message, and biased reporting for the conservative side is getting out there. The Fox Five group mentioned how moderators were nice to the candidates during the Democratic debate. As I recall (it wasn’t that long ago), moderator Anderson Cooper caught a lot of heat for the job he did, which means he probably did a pretty good job.

I also watched CNN and MSNBC yesterday. MSNBC didn’t criticize CNBC (d’uh) and mentioned how the viewership for the third GOP debate was way down. They neglected to mention it was up against the World Series and that most people don’t have CNBC, and if they do have they probably can’t find it on their dial. I had to hunt.

The candidates spent Thursday complaining about the debate. Donald Trump wants proof that future moderators vote Republican. So basically reporters and members of the media will have to show who they vote for. I’m sure that’ll help make America great. Maybe I dreamed it but didn’t Trump have huge issues with the way the first debate, hosted by Fox News, was moderated? I recall him saying something about Chris Wallace not being as good as his father and blood coming out of Megyn Kelly’s wherever.

Ben Carson wants all the campaigns to get together and make demands on the next debate, such don’t ask him math question or about his connections to companies that sell fart pills.

It also might help if Carson wouldn’t deny he has connections with a company he’s made speeches and commercials for, if Carly Fiorina would just make stuff up, and Donald Trump could remember past insults (to be fair, he’s made a lot of insults). It would also help if Ted Cruz didn’t come off as creepy but that’s probably impossible.

I think the candidates will only be happy as long as they can stand there for two hours without any gotcha questions such as “can you explain how your plan is supposed to actually work?”