Feel The Bern

Hillary Berns


cjones11072017

There are a couple of things I find particularly interesting about Hillary Clinton. The first is she’s been investigated for over 20 years without anything incriminating ever being found on her, yet Republicans keep demanding new investigations. Now, they’re screaming for investigations over the dossier, something that isn’t illegal. The other thing is, the people who keep telling her to shut up and go away are the same people who can’t stop talking about her. It’s like breaking up with someone who never calls you but you call them to tell them to stop calling you.

Now, Clinton’s critics from Donald Trump to the idiots at Fox News to that one crazy guy you’re still friends with on Facebook but you don’t know why has another reason to talk about Hillary.

It’s bad enough that conspiracies hound her, from a child sex ring in the basement of a D.C. pizza shop that doesn’t have a basement, to her lesbian lovers, to her debilitating health, and that hiring someone to research her opponent is somehow colluding with Russians. Despite the facts and impression being bad enough over her involvement with the Democratic National Committee, I expect more conspiracy theories to enter the mix.

Hillary’s critics will have to read and comprehend the facts of her deal with the DNC to use it against her. Since that’s out of the question, they’ll do what they do best which is making shit up, like screaming it’s rigged.

If you want to start a fight on social media, you don’t have to pit Trump sycophants against Clinton supporters. Just start a thread between Hillary and Bernie supporters. The Democrats won’t figure out how to defeat the GOP until they stop defeating themselves.

Former DNC interim chair Donna Brazile revealed Clinton gained partial control of the DNC months prior to winning the nomination.

Berners accused the DNC of supporting Clinton before the primaries were over, and they still haven’t gotten over it. While there doesn’t appear to be anything illegal about the deal, it does seem unethical. Trump and other Republicans are crying for the FBI and Justice Department to look into it, even though it doesn’t seem to be a crime. Trump tweeted that Brazile said the primaries were “rigged,” despite the fact she never said that and replied to Trump that wasn’t the case.

I’m not sure anything had to be “rigged” at the DNC as it was and still is an incompetent organization. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz was a terrible chairperson. Thanks to her leadership and Obama leaving expensive consultants on the payroll, the party was near bankruptcy.

Clinton’s campaign came to the rescue, covered the majority of the party’s debt, and put them on a monthly allowance, but they had conditions. The campaign would control the party’s finances, strategy, and all the money raised, what anyone would demand if they’re bailing you out financially. You don’t give someone a million dollars to pay off gangsters, only to watch them spend the money at the casino again. Her campaign had the right of refusal of who would be the party communications director, and it would make final decisions on all the other staff. The DNC also was required to consult with the campaign about all other staffing, budgeting, data, analytics, and mailings. They couldn’t send out a press release without it going through Clinton’s staff in Brooklyn first.

Normally, the winner of the primaries exercises more control of the DNC. If there’s an incumbent in office, like the case with Obama, then he retains control until the next election. Hillary was treated as a winner before she won. She took control of the party in August 2015, just four months after she announced her candidacy.

Being unethical isn’t entirely new to the Clintons. Still, you can’t find anything illegal about the deal or how money was spent and shifted around. From Brazile’s notes, it seems careful steps were put into place to follow legal guidelines, like how much money could be contributed to the DNC, Clinton’s campaigns, and state-level fundraisers, and how that money could be moved from one to the other. It was actually very smart while also being unfair to Bernie Sanders and his supporters.

There is one little nugget you have to keep mind. Bernie is not a Democrat. Why would the party treat both candidates fairly when only one is a member? And, she wasn’t just a member, she was keeping the party afloat. I don’t find as much blame on Hillary as I do the DNC, Wasserman-Schultz, and to a lesser extent, Obama who ignored the heavy spending and debt at the DNC.

Democrats are tired of re-litigating the last election. Now, they’re not even getting over the primaries. They need to prepare for 2020, the midterms in 2018, and dammit, the election next week for Virginia’s governor.

Yes, it sucks the primary process wasn’t fair. Democrats need to learn from it and use that lesson, so they don’t get rolled by Trump voters again. No wonder they lost Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin.

And, seriously…if the Nazis win Richmond Tuesday, I’m gonna be pissed.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Basement Berners


cjones10042016

I’m not trying to slam people who currently or have lived in basements. Basements can be cool places. I have never lived in one but I have been in two bands that practiced in them and I even recorded in an album in a basement studio (punk rock, yeah!). When I was married and first moved to Virginia the entire family ended up spending all of our social time in the basement as that’s where we put our big TV, sofa, computers, desks, and such. Our living room was empty.

People who have recently graduated from college who are having trouble starting their careers and are currently living in their parent’s basement shouldn’t be criticized for it. If you’re forty and living in your mom’s basement, yeah…maybe you need to do something or question your life choices. That’s the kind of neck-tattooed, unemployed dingus my sister married.

Donald Trump has recently accused Hillary Clinton of slamming Bernie Sanders’ supporters as living in their parents’ basements and working dead-end jobs. A recording recently surfaced with her describing them as such.

The thing is, she wasn’t degrading them. She was emphasizing and understanding why they were supporting Sanders. Sanders himself defended her. It’s not like Hillary said something nasty about vets being weak for have PTSD.

It’s not my intention to insult people who eat Hot Pockets. They are delicious and the pepperoni pizza is awesome. Taco Bell, meh. I lost my taste for the stuff in my 30’s. And I’ll never understand how anyone can drink Mountain Dew. It seems like crack in a bottle to me. People should stop drinking that stuff around the same time they reach the mature age where they stop putting ketchup on hot dogs.

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Jumping For Bernie


cjones07142016

I do like drawing the Bernie shirt. It’s just really cool and funky, like Bernie’s hair.

Bernie Sanders finally endorsed Hillary Clinton today. Many were delighted and many others cursed the sky.

The majority of Bernie’s supporters will vote for Hillary, even if they don’t like her. There are those who will never vote for Hillary. While they said they’d follow Bernie anywhere, today they found a place where they refuse to follow.

Many will vote for the Green Party nominee Jill Stein. No matter the outcome of the election, they can proudly say they didn’t vote for Hillary. If Trump is the president, they can live in denial that they played a huge part in that disaster. They don’t remember what happened when liberals voted for Ralph Nader in 2000. Hey, Nader voters….thanks for the Iraq War, huge debt, and the economic disaster. Nader voters still declare their innocence in that. If Trump wins the election then Stein voters will say they’re not to blame. Like Nader voters in 2000, they will be wrong too.

Donald Trump says Bernie’s supporters will be welcomed with open racist arms by his campaign. A few will actually go to Trump, which doesn’t make any sense. How do you declare you’re for everything Sanders preached then vote for Trump? You might find Hillary Clinton distasteful but her agenda is a lot more in line with Sanders….a LOT MORE IN LINE…than the racist Oompa Loompa.

Sanders had a great campaign. It was exciting and loud. Today it’s very quiet. He gave up his Secret Service detail today. The only large crowds in his future will be at Clinton events. The hope to retain isn’t for Sanders. It’s for his message and platform. Hopefully he’ll have influence on Clinton’s agenda. With even more hope, there will be a future presidential campaign with Bernie Sanders’ message.

Other than that, I didn’t draw one more “feel the bern” cartoon. There will be plenty out there.

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Bernie’s Pretty Little Unicorn


cjones03102016

I went a little Godfather on you here. After seeing that iconic scene when I was a kid, I’ve always thought that would be one of the most horrible ways to wake up. I’ve always wondered how it would be accomplished. I think if gangsters crept into my bedroom in the middle of the night with a chopped off horse head that I wouldn’t sleep through it.

I went with the unicorn here because I think most people will understand the mythical creature has been associated with Sander’s promises. They are mythical, right?

Bernie was supposed to be put away the other night. Instead, he defied the pollsters and stole Michigan away from Hillary. I’m sure that doesn’t chafe only Hillary, but the entire Democratic Party establishment. Let’s be real. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and the rest of the leadership want Hillary in place and ready for the Republican nominee. Bernie has the gall to slow that down and he’s not even a Democrat.

Hillary will win the nomination but the discussion we’re having now is great for democracy.

Short blog post again, folks. I’m still a bit under the weather but I feel better today than I did yesterday. I’m actually drinking coffee again.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

An intelligent Debate?


cjones03072016

I watched the Democratic Debate last night. The candidates didn’t create nicknames for each other. No one was called a “liar.” There was talk about the Flint water crisis, student debt, trade, bailouts, the auto industry. There wasn’t a penis reference. There wasn’t a booger. It was so boring.

The lowest jab might have been when Sanders referenced the Republican debate as proof that we need to do more for mental health.

In comparison nobody comes off looking presidential, or even as an adult, at the Republican debates. There’s no maturity or intellectualism, which of course are bad things in GOP Land. The Republicans actually lauded Michigan governor Rick Snyder a hero in the Flint water crisis. What?

Even though I could watch ten more Republican debates because they’re so entertaining, I think we’ve had enough for this cycle. If you don’t know where the candidates stand by this point then you’re an idiot. I’m not saying you should have your mind made up, as I’m not entirely decided either. But I know where the candidates stand.

I usually avoid drawing cartoons of people watching television. I’ve drawn way too many of those in years past. But sometimes it’s unavoidable because watching TV is what people do. And it’s hard to avoid it when the topic is the content your kids are watching.

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Slots Of Luck, Bernie


cjones02222016

When I draw a cartoon on Hillary Clinton her supporters are upset with me. I’m sure Bernie Sander’s people won’t like what I’m saying here.

People vote with their hearts for Bernie. People vote with their heads for Hillary. Bernie inspires passion in people while Hillary doesn’t, but more Democratic voters are viewing her as a more logical choice.  Sanders still hasn’t proven he can win a primary with a diverse electorate and the contests coming up are not going to get any easier for him. After losing in Nevada, I don’t see the delegate math working out for him.

I like Bernie’s passion and his ideas. I don’t think free college and healthcare is any sillier than free war and corporate welfare. I’m sure he can stomp Trump, Rubio, and Cruz in a debate. But I have more faith in Hillary Clinton dealing with a Republican congress. She has proven she’s tougher than any other politician running, or anyone in Congress. I have faith in that.

Fun factoid: The carpet in my office is actually from a Las Vegas casino.

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Feel The Sexism


cjones02102016

You would think if you want someone to lead the charge against sexism, Bill Clinton is not your man.

Bill Clinton, Madeleine Albright and Gloria Steinem all made comments that Bernie Sander’s supporters are sexists. There have been sexist comments from some of his supporters but it’s not to the level that it’s indicative of his campaign, or the majority of his supporters. Hillary’s biggest problem is that millennials are “feeling the Bern” and people don’t trust her.

Albright said “there’s a special place in Hell for women who don’t support women.” The thing about feminism, and I know I’m a guy saying this, but it’s about making your own choices. For a lot of women, especially younger women, that choice is Sanders.

Voters are also finding Clinton very stiff and kinda programmed. She can be a good public speaker, and her speech Tuesday might have been her best yet, but she’s not carrying the passion or conviction people are seeing and feeling in Sanders.

Sanders had a huge night winning the New Hampshire Primary by over 20 percent. The primaries head to Nevada for Democrats and South Carolina for Republicans on Saturday, February 20. Then they flip and the GOP does Nevada and the Dems go after South Carolina. Here’s a schedule in case you’re a political geek like me.

Hillary has been expected to do well in those two states, but Sanders has the momentum. These are going to be actual contests now. Fun for me.

Can Sanders keep his momentum going in the South and with minority voters, who usually love Hillary? During his acceptance speech he made another call for supporters to contribute to his campaign at his website. His website crashed from the traffic.

I’ll have a commentary for the GOP results in New Hampshire, but I’ll save that for the next cartoon.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!