Fake News

Fake Editing


cjones06282018

Even before the major reasons why Donald Trump should not have been seriously considered for the presidency, I had a few that may appear petty but point to larger problems with the guy.

Trump’s inexperience, stupidity, sexism, and racism are all great reasons why the man shouldn’t have gotten farther than the rent-is-too-damn-high guy. But stuff like not paying people who work for him reveals a dishonest person who can’t be trusted. Stealing from his own charity also reveals dishonesty along with corruption because he’s a con man.

His insecurity and pettiness are exhibited by trophy wives, an extremely bad comb-over, and suits that don’t fit despite the fact he’s a billionaire who owns his own clothing line. But one of the kickers for me, as a journalist, is his love for the National Enquirer, a gossip tabloid that pays for stories and is sold at checkout lines next to Weekly World News (which is a much more entertaining read).

Put aside Trump’s penchant for labeling any real news and facts he doesn’t like as “fake news,” and his attacks on the press as “dishonest” and an “enemy to the American people.” Look at the judgement of a guy who believes the Enquirer should have won a Pulitzer and its editor should be in charge of The New York Times.

Trump has a friendship with the Enquirer. Its owner, David Pecker, is a pal. You can count the number of newspapers that endorsed Trump with both hands and have fingers left. The Enquirer is one of them. In addition to the endorsement, the paper would pay for the exclusive rights to stories from women claiming affairs with Trump, only to kill the stories.

Sam Nunberg, an early adviser to the campaign, compared the Enquirer to a campaign mailer. While a mailer was expensive, sent to prospective voters, and hardly ever read, the Enquirer was seen at every checkout line in the nation. Everyone reads the headlines while standing in line. Now, we’re learning those headlines were approved by Trump.

According to three sources with the weekly rag, the paper would send stories, photos, and mock front pages to Trump’s attorney/fixer Michael Cohen for approval. One story sent for approval was on Hillary Clinton’s health with a headline stating she only had six months left to live. Why vote for a dying candidate, right? That was published in September 2015 and in case you haven’t noticed, Hillary Clinton is still alive in 2018.

During the primary, the paper ran stories linking Ted Cruz’s father to JFK’s assassination, and even more unbelievable, rumors of Ted having multiple affairs.

A newspaper can print whatever it wants as long as it’s not libelous. They can publish lies. There isn’t even a law saying a publication can’t coordinate with a campaign. But, if a candidate exerts control over a publication then that can violate federal election laws.

The company that owns the Enquirer said they never sent stories for approval, but they also told us there were multiple women willing to have sex with Ted Cruz.

According to the sources, stories didn’t just go through Cohen. Trump would often have his assistant Hope Hicks contact Pecker (the publisher, not Trump’s little soldier) with story ideas, and would often call the guy himself.

According to one of the people with knowledge of the practice, the sharing continues. The source said, “Since Trump’s become president and even before, [Pecker] openly just has been willing to turn the magazine and the cover over to the Trump machine.”

Federal prosecutors subpoenaed American Media Inc., the Enquirer’s owner, as part of their investigation into Michael Cohen. They probably found a lot of interesting files related to the paper after raiding Cohen’s office, home, and hotel room.

I’m not sure if the paper violated any laws, and I would defend their First Amendment rights, even if they really are “fake news.” However, it goes beyond being a member of the free press and journalism if they acted as an extension of the Trump campaign.

I wouldn’t want to read a newspaper that favors Donald Trump, like the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette which just fired their cartoonist Rob Rogers for drawing Trump cartoons. It’s even worse when the publisher allows Trump to dictate their coverage.

I hate the term “fake news.” If it’s fake, it’s not news. And neither is the National Enquirer.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

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Stupidgate


cjones05302018

Usually, when a president, or any politician, argues for or defends a position, they use details of the subject. They will use facts while also omitting details that hurt their argument. Sometimes they’ll even lie. Every politician lies. What Donald Trump does with lies isn’t just different, it’s dangerous.

Trump does not argue details or cite evidence or facts. He vilifies. For example, James Comey is a proven liar, leaker and Trump has done us a “great service” by firing him. There’s no evidence Comey lied about anything. There’s no evidence he leaked, but the narrative used by Trump and his sycophants is that Comey is a bad actor. It gets worse.

Trump will engage in conspiracy theories that are so bizarre they should make your tinfoil-wearing, attic-dwelling uncle say, “That crap is cray-cray.” Trump’s political ambitions began with the lie that Obama was not born in the United States. There has never been one ounce of evidence to support this claim, yet Trump harnessed it and rode it to his presidential announcement.

After Trump won the presidency, he claimed Obama wiretapped his phones. Of course, that’s not true, and he made the charge without any evidence. Today, he’s claiming there’s a “deep state” that was designed to prevent him from winning the presidency, and it still exists today in our government trying to bring him down. Never mind the fact that he is the government now and the heads of “deep state” are his appointees.

Trump claims the FBI, under orders from President Obama, planted a spy into his campaign to cost him the election and has even co-opted the term “Spygate.” Trump is so stupid and unoriginal that he had to steal the name “Spygate” from other controversies. A professor in Britain reached out to three Trump team members, Carter Page, George Papadopoulos, and Sam Clovis to inquire about their connections to Russia, and he reported his findings to the FBI. If the FBI was trying to derail the Trump campaign, they did a horrible job of it by making announcements they were investigating Hillary Clinton. They never made an announcement about investigating Trump.

American intelligence received warnings from officials in Britain and Australia about Russians attempting to meddle in the Trump campaign. They received no warnings from the Trump campaign itself. Trump’s team was eager and ready to receive cooperation from Russian agents to win the election.

When Trump screams “Spygate,” he’s deflecting from the fact that he hired Russian spies, he allowed them into his campaign headquarters, and that he even shouted on television asking Vladimir Putin to help him win the presidency. Trump says “Spygate” could be the biggest political scandal in history and everybody in the media is using the term. No and no. This so-called “Spygate” is totally made up from Trump’s feeble imagination and nobody in the media was using the term before Trump, unless they were talking about the New England Patriots spying on the New York Jets.

This is where it goes from being stupid, bizarre, slightly amusing to dangerous. People are listening and believing him.

A recent poll finds that 59% of Americans don’t believe Special Counsel Robert Mueller has uncovered any crimes, despite the fact, the investigation has issues 17 criminal indictments, five guilty pleas and has sent one person to prison. This is from the Goebbels playbook. If you repeat a lie enough people will start believing it, especially those who want to believe. Trump could tweet that the FBI has installed alien lizard people coordinated by Elvis to spy on him and his sycophants will believe it. This has created pressure on those in Washington who are attempting to remain adults.

The Justice Department caved into Trump’s demands faster than a room full of NFL owners to look into “Spygate” and Republicans have been pressuring them to reveal the identity of informants. What they really want to know is what do the DOJ and FBI have on Trump. Yesterday, the DOJ held a meeting with the Gang of Eight, the leaders of Congress from both parties to show them what they had concerning “Spygate.” They actually held two meetings, the first with Republicans Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes (who has used his position to deliver evidence to the White House), Trey Gowdy (because after holding numerous Benghazi hearings, he’s really good with the conspiracy crap), and Democrat Adam Schiff. They attempted to prevent any Democrats from attending these meetings. At the second meeting, Trump’s Chief of Staff John Kelly and White House lawyer Emmett Flood were allowed to attend. Kelly and Flood had no business attending that meeting other than gaining material for Trump’s defense. Their presence should not have been allowed.

Rudy Giuliani went on Fox News and boasted that the Republicans would provide information from the meetings to Trump’s legal team, which proved what this is really all about. This is not draining the swamp. It’s a BYOB swamp party. Bring Your Own Bullshit.

Trump is attempting to use the DOJ as his own personal protection service. Earlier in the day, he said people who want to kneel during the national anthem should leave the country. Trump has also said that our nation having “thousands of judges” to hear immigration cases is a disgrace, and we should dispense with the trials. Trump is using the strategies implemented by authoritarians on their way to becoming dictators, and that is using lies to dispense with democratic institutions. Checks and balances and separation of power will be rid of like the use of facts.

Facts are still important even though Trump and his followers have no use for them and argue for “alternative facts,” conspiracy theories, and confirmation bias. People who get most of their information from Trump’s Twitter feed and Russian troll farms will tell you that we can’t trust The New York Times and The Washington Post.

“Many people” have said Russiagate is like Watergate, but with stupid people. There is no Spygate. There is only Stupidgate. And it may be the biggest political scandal in American history.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

O’Keefe’s Petard


cjones12012017

James O’Keefe is a conservative provocateur who has spent years trying to prove liberals and those who report the news are just as horrible, unethical, and dishonest as he is. It doesn’t matter to conservatives that each time he’s released the results of one of his sting operations that it’s always packaged with lies.

O’Keefe leads Project Veritas, which is a 501(c)(3) organization. It’s received financial support from Breitbart and The Trump Foundation. O’Keefe conducts sting operations where he and others infiltrate organizations under false pretenses to prove they’re breaking the law or being abusive and dishonest. To do this, O’Keefe has broken the law and been abusive and dishonest. He always deceptively edits videos and recordings to make people appear to be saying something they didn’t say. He’s had large successes and even larger failures.

He brought down ACORN with misleading videos and exposed an NPR executive making partisan remarks. He’s also been arrested while conducting a sting operation against then-Senator Mary Landrieu in New Orleans. Last year, his operation accidentally left a voicemail for a George Soros group it was trying to sting, laying out its whole plan. In 2010, he plotted to embarrass CNN reporter Abbie Boudreau by mock-seducing her on a boat equipped with sex toys. His latest blunder was a sting operation against The Washington Post.

There’s already a large segment of the conservative population that refuses to believe anything that comes from the legitimate press. If it’s from CNN, The New York Times, or The Washington Post, they automatically believe it’s a lie. One conservative recently stated that if Jesus Christ returned and told him Donald Trump colluded with Russia that he’d have to hear it straight from Trump before he could believe Jesus. O’Keefe set out to justify these ridiculous beliefs of people living in an alternative reality.

Many conservatives don’t believe the women who have accused Roy Moore, the Republican nominee of Alabama’s Senate seat, of pedophilia and attempts to date teenage girls. They believe The Washington Post is creating these allegations and paying women for their statements. They believe The Post has an anti-conservative agenda. When you are an organization that presents facts, you are often accused of being anti-conservative.

O’Keefe set out to prove that the Post doesn’t use ethical guidelines in its reporting and research and that they will publish any lie presented to them about a conservative. His agenda was to discredit alleged sexual-abuse victims by planting a fake news story with a legitimate news outlet.

He sent a woman named Jaime Phillips to contact the Post with a false story that she had an abortion after Roy Moore impregnated her when she was 15. She hoped the Post reporters would believe her, run the story, and then O’Keefe would produce videos proving how reckless and dishonest they truly are. He failed. The paper did what it’s supposed to do and checked out the story, which is what real journalists do.

The Post’s reporters researched the woman and her background and it didn’t add up. She claimed she only spent one summer in Alabama while she was a teenager, yet she had a number with that state’s area code and “rolltide” as part of her email address.

Reporters were concerned by Phillips asking repeatedly if her story would lose the election for Roy Moore. She was baiting to catch them in a way that would suggest they were out to get Moore. Unfortunately for her, she was dealing with some of the best reporters in the nation.

Phillips claimed she worked for a lending company in Westchester, New York, but when the Post called that company for verification, they said “who?” She also claimed she interviewed for a job at the Daily Caller, a conservative muckraking website. She named a woman named Kathy Johnson as her contact. That person doesn’t exist and the Daily Caller told The Post that Phillips didn’t interview there.

Here’s where it gets even dumber. Phillips created a GoFundMe page seeking to raise money for a move to New York where she planned to find work in the “conservative media exposing the lies and deceit of the liberal MSM.” One of the contributors was her daughter, but I’m guessing Roy Moore is not her daddy.

And then came the real kicker. Monday morning, Post reporters saw her walking into the New York offices of Project Veritas. They noticed there was only 16 miles between her home and O’Keefe’s office, so they followed her. Phillips did not respond to calls from the Post later in the day.

After Phillips was observed entering the Project Veritas office, The Post made the unusual decision to report her previous off-the-record comments.

“We always honor ‘off-the-record’ agreements when they’re entered into in good faith,” said Martin Baron, The Post’s executive editor. “But this so-called off-the-record conversation was the essence of a scheme to deceive and embarrass us. The intent by Project Veritas clearly was to publicize the conversation if we fell for the trap. Because of our customary journalistic rigor, we weren’t fooled, and we can’t honor an ‘off-the-record’ agreement that was solicited in maliciously bad faith.”

Conservatives have created lies that the Post paid Moore’s accusers, and they even conducted a robocall falsely claiming to be a Post reporter seeking women “willing to make damaging remarks” about Moore for money.

O’Keefe proved, like most conservatives, that he doesn’t understand how basic journalism works. Instead of destroying the credibility of Roy Moore’s accusers and The Washington Post, he helped it. He proved that the newspaper puts serious research into their reporting before they go to print. O’Keefe was out of his league.

Post reporters confronted O’Keefe outside his office, and he refused to answer their questions, but told them to return at a later time…which he used to prepare for them. They confronted him again, which he filmed and later edited to make it look like he was interviewing and catching them with a hidden agenda. O’Keefe actually complained about the Post “ambushing” him.

Here’s the thing about that “ambush,” James. When the Post’s reporters came to you, they weren’t lying about who they are or their objectives. You should try that approach.

Project Veritas is an official tax-exempt charity and it pulled in $4.8 million in 2016. O’Keefe pulls in around $240,000 a year, which is a lot more than an honest, sarcastic, freelancing political cartoonist makes.

Project Veritas must steer clear of political activity to maintain its tax-exempt status. They’re definitely not supposed to be supporting candidates. But, with his sting operation of a sitting senator and defense of a candidate, they’re definitely being political. I hope the IRS conducts their own research into this organization to see if they deserve to keep their status as a tax-exempt charity.

Maybe there should also be a rule where you lose your tax exemption if your organization lies, distorts, breaks laws in sting operations, and defends pedophiles.

If you can’t use facts to fight your enemies then you’re on the wrong side of the fight.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Russian Troll Farm


cjones09202017

Today, we’re going to start with the basics and have a lesson on trolls. No. Not the mythological trolls who live under bridges, though some of these trolls would probably live under a bridge if that bridge was also a Wi-Fi hotspot.

We’re going to talk about internet trolls. Now, if you do not post stuff on the internet, like political cartoons or ever engage in online debates, then…GOOD FOR YOU! That’s very healthy for your mind and it means you will never encounter trolls. But, if you are the sort (like me) who posts opinions online or engage in online debates, then you are stalked by the cretins.

There are several types of internet trolls. The first is the troll who disrupts a conversation. If you post an opinion like, “Obama kept all of his promises,” and someone comes along and says, “but he didn’t shut down Guantanamo like he promised,” that person is not a troll. Someone disagreeing with you does not make them a troll. Though at times when you disagree with a conservative, he will accuse you of being a troll if you throw logic at him that he can’t refute. That is a tactic of a troll (we’ll cover more of those tactics in a bit).

The troll who disrupts merely disrupts because he’s trying to destroy the conversation and divert it into another direction until all the conversation consists of are insults. For example, let’s say you post that Trump’s Muslim ban is bigotry and unconstitutional, as he promised to ban Muslims while he was campaigning. An internet troll will enter your discussion and tell you how Islam is a violent religion and you hate America. He might even say if you don’t like it here then you should move to Iran, which he couldn’t find on a map if his troll life depended on it.

Another tactic of the troll is the art of deflection. For instance, you might start a conversation about how Trump University is a sham. The troll will come in and say something like “Benghazi” or “lock her up.” That doesn’t make any sense, does it? No. But, if you counter the troll by pointing out that his argument doesn’t make any sense, then the troll has achieved his objective because you’re not talking about Trump University anymore. Eventually, along the way, he’s going to call you a “libtard,” “snowflake,” and perhaps tell you that you desire a “safe space.” Other favorite terms for trolls are, “Odummer,” “Obummer,” and “Killary.” I know, they’re not very creative. Trolls never are. They all use the same code words because they’re not very good at formulating thoughts on their own. Also, watch out for “thug,” as that’s their replacement for the N-word.

Other troll tactics are never quitting. You can stop replying to them, but they’ll keep it up. If you do reply, that is commonly referred as “feeding the trolls.” Other tactics are using memes with fake stuff in them, like “Obama banned the Pledge of Allegiance.” One of their most effective tactics is the use of fake quotes. This is where they take a picture of someone, usually a founding father like Thomas Jefferson, and just make up some shit that he supposedly said like, “everyone should have a gun…and shoot their brown neighbor. It’s the American thing to do.” Trolls love them some fake quotes. Half the time, they don’t even know they’re fake, and they don’t care. Facts schmacts!

Another type of troll is the one who actually creates the post and starts the conversation. For example, last week I saw one of my conservative troll-like colleagues start a discussion wailing about the injustice Stephen Colbert gave toward religion because in his monologue, he mocked the Catholic church’s stance on gluten. Yes. Someone actually complained about this. A professional cartoonist, at that. Most of the conversation that followed consisted almost entirely of his fellow trolls, who all joined the wailing about the blasphemy Colbert directed at their religion. Of course, none of these people except for the original troll saw the monologue as they were all watching Fox News. This is the type of stuff used to create a divisive climate and to spread propaganda.

Which, is what the professional trolls do. These are the trolls that put actual heavy lifting into their trolling. The propagandists who made the phony videos that claimed Planned Parenthood was selling dead baby body parts were trolling on a grand scale. They put a lot of money into that trolling. Even after the videos were debunked, even by several state governments run by Republicans, the amateur trolls still believe it. Trolls don’t need facts or logic for their beliefs. They believe stuff based on their desire to believe it, like Obama was born in Kenya, and he’s a secret Muslim who went on an apology tour for America.

Now, if you go out and vote for Donald Trump and your vote is based only on lies, the troll doesn’t care. He’s done his job. The propaganda worked and it was cheap. The other person who doesn’t care if your vote was based on lies is Donald Trump. Of course, Trump is a major troll. His favorite troll term is “fake news.”

This is where the most dangerous trolls come in (along with the ones who inspire nuts to go on a shooting frenzy). Russian trolls. The Russian trolls aren’t just trying to decide an election. They’re trying to screw up other nation’s political systems. So far, they’ve done a very good job. America is full of all types of crazy, stupid people and all they needed was a little push.

During the campaign, we knew the Russians were putting fake information on the internet. Stuff like Hillary Clinton running a child-sex-slave shop out of the basement of a D.C. pizza parlor. Never mind that it wasn’t true, or that the pizza shop targeted doesn’t even have a basement. The objective is to make you believe it. Michael Flynn’s son was tweeting out the story about “Pizzagate” while he was on the Trump Transition team, and another guy believed it so much that he took a gun to the pizza shop and started shooting. Kinda like the guy who shot up the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood office because those videos told him they were selling dead babies.

If you take this story and help spread it around, share it on the Facebook, retweet it on Twitter, then you are what is commonly referred to as a “useful idiot,” and of course you’re a troll. And, you’re not just any kind of troll. You’re troll cattle.

The Russians have troll farms. That’s where they create shit, breed troll cattle to feed the shit, and then have the cattle spread it. If you’ve ever spread bullshit on the internet, you’re a fucking troll cow and there’s a good chance you were working for the Russians…and for free. You’re a piece of shit.

As it turns out, nearly a year after the election it’s come to our attention that the Russians weren’t just dropping fake stories on the internet. They were paying for it. They paid Facebook over $100,000 for bullshit ads. And even worse, they were advertising rallies, where trolls could gather and get pissed off together.

With the way this information has slowly been revealed by Facebook, some are wondering if Putin has a pee tape of Mark Zuckerberg (someone else made up that joke, but I don’t know who so I can’t give him or her credit).

Most of these trolls don’t know they’re trolls. But, give yourself a test. If you believe in something just because you want to believe it, then you might be a troll. If you have shared something (like a meme) and didn’t research it to find out if it’s true, then you might be a troll. Google is free, people. It’s not hard to look shit up, and you’re on the internet anyway. Something sounding like it could be true to you does not make it true. There are 25 million people who believe Kim Jong Un is a god, but that doesn’t make him a god. There were 62 million Americans who thought Donald Trump would make a good president, and that shit ain’t coming true either. Ever. And, if you believe Trump won the popular vote and there were millions of people voting illegally for Clinton, you’re a goddamn troll.

The trolls are out there. Whether they know it or not, they could be working for Russians. Look for the traits. Look for the keywords, like “Benghazi,” “lock her up,” “libtard,”  “snowflake,” and “fake news.” Or, just look for the assholes.

Creative note: A couple weeks ago a colleague posted a question for other cartoonists, asking “what do you hate drawing the most?”. The number one answer was crowds. I don’t really mind crowds and I do it fairly often (as long as I don’t have to be in an actual crowd). The second most popular answer was…grass. I agree with that. Drawing grass sucks. Grass is in strands, it’s tiny, it’s green, and it can take all freaking day, or if you take the lazy route and do it very quickly, then it can look like crap. Fortunately for me, I’m aided by the fact that I don’t draw anything realistic. It’s because I’m sloppy. But, I will still spend seven stupid hours on a cartoon, with at least one hour of that drawing grass. I’d rather draw a crowd.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Trump TV


cjones08102017

When I was growing up I felt very fortunate not to live in a nation like the Soviet Union, North Korea, Iran, China, Cuba, etc., where the only news you received was sanctioned by the government. But, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un can only have wet dreams of achieving the type of propaganda Trump has acquired.

In the United States, we have freedom of the press which is something conservatives really don’t like. Even with that freedom, we have news outlets that promote what their favorite candidate dishes out. They choose to be compliant. Those who do not cooperate get labeled as “fake news” by the Trump administration and their many sycophants, even though “fake news” doesn’t exist. If it’s fake, it’s not news. Dick heads.

Every cable news network has Trump sycophants on their programs to promote the president’s agenda, and obfuscate, deflect, distract, and lie. Kayleigh McEnany WAS one of these people pimping out the troglodyte agenda. She’s not anymore.

Even though Donald Trump has Fox News, Sinclair Broadcasting (more on them in a minute), his own lying Twitter feed, and every small town daily and weekly newspaper afraid to criticize him (trust me on that), he has created “Trump TV.” These are videos presented as news with bullshit read by Kayleigh McEnany. McEnany is one of those individuals who can’t find fault with Trump. She can accuse Obama of playing too much golf while telling us how Trump’s golfing is making America great again. She will tell you how Trump’s pussy grabbing is great for the jobs report, the coal mining jobs have already returned, Mexico paid for the wall, and that everyone now wants to eat steaks with ketchup.

McEnany should not be a lightweight in the brains department. She’s highly educated. But, I guess law schools can’t teach critical thinking. She appeared on Trump TV the day after she announced her resignation from CNN ending her broadcast with, “And this has been the real news.” Kayleigh, if you have to say it’s “real news,” it’s not news. Also, if the president is paying you to say it, it’s not news. When you’re on the RNC payroll, it’s not news. If you’re reading from talking points, it’s not news. If you’re reporting from Trump Tower, for the LOVE OF GOD IT’S NOT FUCKING NEWS!!!

This brings a couple of questions to my mind. Trump’s businesses are separated from the Trump administration, supposedly. Yet, Kayleigh is delivering her reports from Trump Tower. Trump Tower is part of the Trump Organization. It’s the freaking HQ of the Trump company. How is his business separated from the administration if his business is making pro-Trump propaganda videos? How much is Trump Tower charging the Trump Campaign for rent and use of their facilities? No, the Trump Campaign money is not Donald’s money. Don’t you know he doesn’t spend his own money? How much are they charging the Republican National Committee? How much did Kayleigh get for selling her soul? These are important questions that will not be answered anytime soon on Trump TV.

You may wonder why McEnany doesn’t care about, at least giving the impression she is objective or capable of thinking for herself. You may wonder how can an educated person be comfortable delivering talking points misrepresented as “news.” Or, maybe you’re puzzled that she is so willing to piss away all credibility and objectivity for the rest of her entire life. To be fair to Kayleigh, she never had any of that to begin with.

The Trump sycophants, they LOOOOOOOOOOOVE Trump TV. Go hashtag “Trump TV” on Twitter, read the tweets, and then go throw up in a fern. I have to admit, I am still confused that so many people don’t want to be informed and they would rather be lied to.

It is puzzling why Trump felt the need to create Trump TV when he has Sean Hannity around to eat his meatloaf. Before you argue that Fox News is just one channel waxing the president’s pole, let me stop you right there. He also has One America News, which you have probably never heard of before now, or if you have seen it, it was by accident because your cat stepped on the remote. There is also the Blaze network which is not a channel of strippers, which would explain why you would have accidentally turned on that program. Donald Trump has more than three shitty channels lying for him. Soon, he may have over 200.

What? 200? Where? Probably in your living room. If you watch local news, there is a good chance you’re watching an affiliate owned by Sinclair Broadcasting. Sinclair may own an ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CW, etc, in your city, but they control the local news and syndicated programs.

Currently, Sinclair owns stations in over 100 markets covering 42% of American households. The group is attempting to purchase 42 stations from Tribune, bringing its ownership count to 233 stations that could reach 72 percent of American households.

Sinclair claims they have a “hands-off approach” to how their local news stations cover topics and how they report. So, you might think it doesn’t matter that they’re a conservative company if they’re allowing their local stations to decide what needs to be covered. Again, I gotta stop you right there.

Sinclair creates prepacked news segments that it orders their station’s to air during their newscasts. These are called “must-runs.” Not only are they conservative, they’re frighteningly goose-stepping-Trump-loving-right-wing conservative. They are often hosted by Boris Epshteyn, who briefly worked in the Trump Administration as assistant communications director, and was a senior adviser on his campaign. Boris has had the meatloaf. Plus, his name is “Boris.” Kinda makes you wanna throw up in a fern.

John Oliver of HBO’s Last Week Tonight said that Sinclair is “the most influential media company you’ve never heard of.” He ran an episode criticizing the group and presented clips of various anchors introducing the same news story by stating that the FBI had a “personal vendetta” against Michael Flynn, critiqued the must-run “Terrorism Alert Desk” segments as defining terrorism as “anything a Muslim does”, and ran clips of editorials comparing multiculturalism and political correctness to a cancer epidemic, and stated that marriage was a solution to domestic abuse. Oliver said that he “did not know it was possible to dip below the journalistic standards of Breitbart.” Of course he said that before Kayleigh started hosting Trump TV.

Next time someone starts some bullshit about the media’s liberal bias, just kick them in the nuts. Yes, right in their lying nuts. Or, you can deliver my latest newest Spanish insult which is, “Que te folle un pez.” Yes, it’s dirty.

So, now we have Kayleigh McEnany reading off Trump TV. The thing is, you may have already been watching it. Now, you can go throw up in the fern.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Kollege Is Shtoopid


cjones07152017

Shortly after the invasion of Iraq, Vice-President Dick Cheney was asked about opinion polls reflecting that a majority of Republicans believed Iraq was behind 9/11. Cheney said he could understand why people believe that, but he wouldn’t state that Iraq didn’t have any involvement with that terrorist attack. Why not? It’s because his agenda fed off of an ignorant base. Basically, stupid people.

Part of Russia’s meddling in our election to plant a dumbass in the White House required them to spread bogus stories all over the internet, which was shared like wildfire by trolls on social media. It helped that the audience they were targeting were Republicans because that meant the stories couldn’t be too stupid.

They spread bogus stories like the Pope and Denzel Washington had endorsed Trump, Hillary Clinton was a criminal suffering from serious health issues, there would be violence if Clinton won, election rigging, fake ballots in Clinton’s basement, and that Clinton was running a child-sex trafficking ring out the basement of a pizza shop that didn’t have a basement.

When it came to sharing the fake stories, Republicans were useful idiots. Some members of the Trump campaign even shared the fake stories, including Trump himself.

Today, a majority of Republicans believe millions voted illegally for Clinton and that Trump won the popular vote. They probably still believe Obama was born in Kenya. These are the people who put an idiotic, crooked narcissist in the White House.

Conservatives love to whine how the press has a liberal bias. I’m asked occasionally “why are you so liberal?”. My views are liberal because I base them on facts. The press has a bias for facts and the truth is biased toward liberalism. Climate change is real, Hillary won the popular vote, there were not millions of illegal votes cast, Trump did not have the biggest inauguration crowd ever, and Obama did not have Trump Tower wiretapped. Sorry, conservatives. Facts hurt.

Facts hurt so much that Republicans have to make shit up about their opponents like Obama was invading Texas, or that more Americans are uninsured since Obamacare was implemented. If you watch Fox News, read Breitbart, the Daily Wire, Daily Caller, or InfoWars, you will be fed a lot of lies. That’s because facts don’t work for a conservative audience.

A new Pew Research Center poll released Monday revealed that a majority of Republicans think that colleges have a negative impact on the country. Fifty-eight percent of Republicans now say that colleges “are having a negative effect on the way things are going in the country.” That kinda adds up since Democrats capture the majority of college educated voters.

Cost is not the biggest reason Republicans oppose free college education for everyone. If voters are educated, that’s bad for the GOP. The fact that Donald Trump is actually the freaking president of the United States of America is all the proof you need that this is true. Smart people didn’t put Trump in the White House.

My advice is: Read newspapers. Knowing things is good.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

If You’re Gullible…


cjones07042017

When I heard there was a story about NASA running a child slave colony on Mars, I thought it was coming from the Weekly World News. It sounds like something produced by the same people who gave us Bat Boy and Hitler’s brain in a jar. But apparently, people who get their news from conservative conspiracy theorists have their brains in a jar…or up their ass.

Instead of coming from a supermarket tabloid, the NASA slave colony story came from a source that’s on 118 radio stations nationwide and whose host was told by the president of the United States of America that his reputation is “amazing” and he would “win a Pulitzer in a long gone time of unbiased journalism.”

The Alex Jones Show (the same source that gave us the Pizzagate conspiracy theory that Hillary Clinton’s campaign was running a child sex ring in the basement of a D.C. pizza shop that doesn’t have a basement), gave credence to the NASA Mars colony conspiracy. What is it with Alex Jones, who was recently given prime time coverage by Megan Kelly, wanting to believe in children-sex-slaves conspiracies? He has a really sick mind.

The rumor gained so much traction, which isn’t helped by Trump’s belief and promotion of bullshit, that NASA actually had to issue an official denial that they are NOT running a child slave colony on Mars.

I’m really starting to lose faith in society. It’s like people will believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows, oh wait. As it turns out, there’s a shit ton of people who believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Granted, it was an online survey conducted by a dairy council, but it found that seven percent of Americans believe the brown cow story. You may think seven percent isn’t that bad, but seven percent of our nation is over 16 million people. That’s the population of Pennsylvania (which went to Donald Trump, by the way). In the interest of full disclosure, before I moved to Hawaii in 1997 I thought pineapples grew on trees.

If you believe NASA is operating a child-sex-ring on Mars and that chocolate milk isn’t produced by cocoa and sugar, but brown cows, then you will probably have faith that the Republican Congress can be trusted to repeal Obamacare, and replace it….eventually.

The Republicans controlled Congress during the Clinton and George W. Bush years. They never showed any interest in providing healthcare to Americans. During the Obama years, they voted to repeal the Affordable Healthcare Act multiple times, but never produced a replacement. It’s been over six months since they gained control of the White House, Senate and House, and they’ve yet to produce a workable healthcare plan. One might suspect that they just screamed and bitched for seven years without any ideas of their own. Hmmmm.

Donald Trump promised America that when Obamacare is repealed that it would be replaced immediately with “something better.” Now he’s buying into the Rand Paul idea of repealing now and replacing later. Rand Paul doesn’t like the government. He hates government spending on anything. If Obamacare is repealed I don’t expect him to produce any replacement ideas.

The Republicans floating this plan say there will be a deadline to deliver a replacement in a year. What happens if that deadline isn’t met? What coverage for Americans during that time frame? What about Americans lacking coverage when the GOP doesn’t deliver? If they repeal without replacing, they will not deliver. They’ve never cared in the past, they don’t care now, and they won’t care in the future. Repealing Obamacare now isn’t to help Americans with health insurance. It’s to deliver huge tax breaks for the rich.

Another threat from this idea is that we’ll move on from replacing Obamacare, and demand that the GOP have a replacement when they repeal. We can’t let them trick us into forgetting that repealing Obamacare is a really bad idea. They shouldn’t repeal Obamacare at all. They need to work with Democrats to make it better. The biggest problem Republicans and Trump have with Obamacare is that it’s called “Obamacare.”

The sad thing is, Trump’s supporters will believe he’ll eventually replace Obamacare. Of course, they also believe they’ll be fine if Obamacare is repealed because they’re covered by the Affordable Care Act. This is the same group that believes Trump won the popular vote, has the biggest crowds, was wiretapped by Obama, and that Trump will make America great again.

And they probably believe that brown cow Martian horse shit too.

Creative note: Yes, I took the Martian from the Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks. My regular readers know that I have a fondness for inserting movies that I love into my cartoons. Mars Attacks is not one of them. Great filmmaker. Huge star-studded cast. Yet, it totally sucked. Have you ever noticed that the more stars inserted in a film always means it’s going to be a terrible movie? Though with Mars Attacks, I still think the “ack ack ack ack” is funny.

It’s really hard being a one-man syndicate when editors (who receive death threats from Trump supporters) are afraid of cartoons with opinions, while I’m also competing against other syndicates with dozens of cartoonists (who offer lots of right-wing cartoons and the kind without any opinions). So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.