Face Masks

Trump Judge

A federal judge this week struck down the Biden administration’s mandate that all passengers must wear face masks on planes and trains. It was nice while we had the virus on the run.

The requirement comes from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) stating “a person must wear a mask while boarding, disembarking, and traveling on any conveyance into or within the United States.” And if you’ve traveled in a plane or a train over the past two years, you know people can be real fucking babies about it.

On my last flight, from Denver to Washington, DC, a flight attendant asked a “gentleman” to pull his mask up from his chin to cover his mouth and nose. He whined, “But I have a beverage.” She told him he can pull the mask down when he takes a drink, not for the entire time he’s holding the drink in his hand, which was apparently the brilliant strategy he had put together to avoid wearing a face mask during a flight. He pulled his mask up while grumbling about it but he spent the rest of the flight with it down except whenever a flight attendant approached. He was told several more times to please pull his mask back up. Yes, he was a middle-aged white guy. Yes, he was an asshole.

Four airlines immediately rescinded their mask rules. Some passengers applauded and even threw their masks into the trash. But, they might want to keep those masks as the Biden administration is challenging the ruling. And if you threw away an N95, what, are you stupid? Those things are expensive. I left a brand new N95 in a Denver bathroom and I’m still kicking myself.

At the very least, we’ll stop hearing stories about unruly passengers refusing to wear a face mask, and we’ll start hearing stories of MAGAt passengers bullying other passengers for wearing a face mask. Ron DeSantis has made it popular to bully kids wearing face masks and Republicans LOVE Ron DeSantis because they love assholes. I’m wearing a facemask in my profile pics on Instagram and Truth Social (I’m still experimenting with it) and conservatives actually leave angry comments about it. There are often comments under my cartoons saying something like, “Of course, a mask wearer would create this shit.” It’s really divisive when it’s something that should be so simple. They say it’s a choice but scream at you when you make the choice to wear one. Also on Truth Social, my working for CNN is the second thing they scream about. “What? You work for CNN? You sonofabitch!!!!”

So, who made this ruling that the CDC can’t mandate wearing face masks for traveling? It came from Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle, a U.S. District Judge for the Middle District of Florida and a Trump appointee. This is a judge the American Bar Association (ABA) advised the Senate NOT to confirm. The ABA rated her as “Not Qualified.”

The ABA explained, “When a nominee is found ‘Not Qualified,’ the Committee has determined that the nominee does not meet the Committee’s standards with respect to one or more of its evaluation criteria – integrity, professional competence, or judicial temperament.”

The ABA determined Mizelle was “Not Qualified” because, “Since her admission to the bar, Ms. Mizelle has not tried a case, civil or criminal, as lead or co-counsel.”

Additionally, Mizelle had only been an attorney for eight years when Trump nominated her. The ABA’s Standing Committee on the Federal Judiciary states appointees should have practiced for a minimum of 12 years. In case you’re a Republican, eight is less than 12. Mizelle had five years of experience in the trial courts. The ABA noted that Mizelle’s lack of experience was “a rather marked departure from the 12-year minimum.” Mizelle was at a law firm where she didn’t even have enough experience to make partner, but yeah…let’s make her a federal judge with a lifetime appointment.

In 2017, The Trump administration (sic) notified the ABA that they didn’t want to play with them anymore. They decided not to share background information on their judicial nominees with the ABA anymore. The George W. Bush administration did the same thing as they also nominated their fair share of fucknuts to federal judgeships. But, both administrations still relied upon the Federalist Society’s judgment, of which Mizelle is a member.

Here’s another fun detail to Mizelle’s lifetime appointment to a federal court: Remember how Republicans didn’t believe a president should nominate a Supreme Court justice in an election year? They argued that the people should have a say in these lifetime appointments, so let’s wait until after the election. How about lower federal lifetime seats? Well, Senate Republicans did wait until after the election to confirm Mizelle as they confirmed her in November 2020 AFTER the election was called for Joe Biden. The people spoke and chose Joe Biden to be president. The people didn’t want Trump OR Republicans in the Senate anymore but yet, the GOP Senate confirmed a judge to a lifetime appointment who was nominated by a lame-duck loser. Ya’ know, I’m starting to suspect Republicans might be hypocrites.

Mizelle’s ruling came down to this: The CDC has the authority to stop contaminations but doesn’t have the authority to prevent them. She also included wonky wingnut science writing that face masks don’t actually work and they actually trap COVID germs. Is it weird that Republicans don’t want the nation’s leading scientists and experts in infectious diseases to issue opinions about the COVID virus yet are comfortable with an inexperienced judge striking down health decisions? If this Florida (ack) judge can make health decisions for the entire nation, maybe we can let Dr. Anthony Fauci issue a few rulings on religion and abortion.

Honestly, I’m surprised she didn’t rule against wearing seat belts and not opening windows during flights.

Here’s the thing we’ve been telling MAGAts for over two years which they still don’t understand: You wear a facemask to protect others more than to protect yourself. It’s not about “freedom.” And believe it or not, most people in favor of mandates and who you see still wearing them in grocery stores HATE wearing them. I hate wearing them. It’s inconvenient…but it’s a slight inconvenience. It’s nothing to be a whiny entitled baby about. It’s the very least you can do for your neighbors, community, and country. But since it’s the very least, Republicans can’t do it.

Planes and trains are tightly sealed compressed cans full of humans. The number one situation where you want to wear a mask is while traveling, especially with mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging cave-dwelling MAGAt troglodytes. Even if we eliminate COVID, you might want to continue wearing a mask because some people (Republicans) are just nasty. I think airlines should start offering MAGAt-free sections. I don’t want to sit next to a conspiracy theorist who believes Disney and pizza shops are full of satanic deep state baby-eating pedophiles but thinks it’s okey-dokey for grown men to marry 12-year-olds.

I’ll be on a train next week for a short trip to DC, and I don’t care if there’s a mandate or not, I’m wearing one of my remaining N95s. And if you’re walking wearing an N95 face mask you found in a toilet stall in the men’s room in the Denver International Airport, you can keep it.

Music Note: My random player was on while I was drawing and it gave me some Neil Young, Tom Petty, The Who, and The Kinks. It tried to give me some Eagles but I skipped that shit. I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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DeDumbass Bully

Can Republicans take a day off from their race to the bottom?

We get the psycho troglodyte twins, Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene, heckling during the State of the Union on one day. And then in the same week, we get the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, bullying kids.

At a press event at the University of South Florida in an area where the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention still recommends indoor masking due to high COVID-19 risk, DeSantis bullied high school students for wearing face masks, calling it “political theater.” I think that’s a Rand Paul talking point.

As soon as DeSantis got to the stage to give his little speech, he turned to the students who were set up as props behind him and said, “You do not have to wear those masks. I mean, please take them off. Honestly, it’s not doing anything. We’ve got to stop with this COVID theater. So if you wanna wear it, fine, but this is ridiculous.”

A few of the students slowly removed their masks with a couple of them saying they only did so out of pressure from the governor. Some of the students left their masks on.

Remember when these goons were arguing that face masks should be a choice? People like DeSantis and Virginia’s new goon governor put in regulations banning public schools from enacting face-mask mandates. They argued that children wearing face masks should be a decision left to parents. But now, we see from Ron DeSantis that it should be a parental choice only when the parents decide on what he wants. If you choose for your children to wear a face mask, Ron DeSantis will bully them.

They used to whine about being forced to wear face masks but now, they’re bullying other people for wearing face masks. When they tell us something should be a choice, they’re just talking about it being their choice. Republicans believe in choice just as long as they’re the only ones choosing. They want to make all your choices for you.

One student said, “I was a little bit surprised at his tone,” and chose to leave his mask on because there were many unmasked people around and he was wary of getting COVID-19. The kid’s father later said that he’d advise Ron DeSantis to “stop bullying kids.”

The father also said, “I tell him it’s his choice, so he made that choice and the governor has no right to tell no kid or no one who they can or can’t wear a mask. He doesn’t have that right.” Didn’t DeSantis use to make that argument about mandates?

Now, Ron DeSantis is fundraising off it. He sent an email to supporters that said, “Predictably, the leftist propagandists in our media had a meltdown and called me a ‘bully’ for allowing children to breathe fresh air.” Predictably, a Republican bullies children then claim he’s the victim. Snowflakes.

Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried, a Democrat running against DeSantis for governor, tweeted, “Ron doesn’t realize it’s not about the masks, it’s about him being an asshole.”

Isn’t that the case with all Republicans now? It’s about being an asshole? For them, that’s the entire point. Which Republican can be the biggest asshole? And then, let’s run on it. Have you ever seen footage of a Trump rally where there’s an entire auditorium cheering on racism and chanting “send them back?”
Let’s bully students. Let’s bully teachers. Let’s bully minorities. Let’s bully the LGBTQ community.

In Florida, where they made it legal to run over Black Lives Matter protesters, there is a new bill that says educators “may not encourage discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity in primary grade levels or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students.” The bill doesn’t state at what age or grade is appropriate for these subjects but I’m guessing it’s never. What happens if an educator teaches gay black history? Will that teacher be shot at dawn or does Florida prefer gallows?

In Florida, it will soon be illegal for a teacher to tell a student they shouldn’t be ashamed for who they are.

There was a statewide student walkout on Thursday protesting this homophobic bigoted legislation and one student in Palm Coast was suspended for handing out pride flags. Apparently, you can’t protest fascism in Russia or Florida.

Don’t vote for bullies and assholes. That means don’t vote for Republicans.

Music Note: Today’s tooning tunes were off the Foo Fighter’s last great album, “Wasting Light.” After that, they kinda turned into the Fray.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Youngkin, Day One

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Glenn Youngkin made sure on his very first day as Virginia’s governor (ack) that we’d know just how horrible and inept he’s going to be.

On his first day as governor (ack) of Virginia, Youngkin signed 11 executive orders with one banning the teaching of “divisive concepts.” What are “divisive concepts”? Anything that scares white conservatives. What they’re aiming at here is Critical Race Theory, which Glenn Youngkin can’t even explain to you less enough, find one example of it actually being taught in a Virginia public school. But banning something that doesn’t exist makes it look like you accomplished something and got rid of it. Good job, Governor (ack) Fucknut. I have another idea. Let’s ban wooly mammoths from show-and-tell day.

Let’s go over it again. Critical Race Theory is centered around the idea that American society is presently impacted by the legacy of slavery and how that legacy factors into laws in the United States, business, culture, education, economics, opportunities, and all aspects of American culture. It’s less of a theory and more of an actual thing. Republicans claim this is a myth and to prove it, they ban it from being taught. How many times now have I told you Republicans don’t get irony? It’s like punching anyone who accuses you of being a violent person. Many states have banned the teaching of Critical Race Theory in the same legislative sessions they were crafting laws making it harder for black people to vote. Maybe we should teach irony in public schools…or in this case, private schools.

By the way, most private schools were founded during desegregation so rich white kids wouldn’t have to go to school with all the incoming black kids. It’s still the only real reason for private schools. Fight me on that.

Governor (ack) Youngkin also banned mandates requiring face masks to be worn in public schools. For the record, Critical Race Theory is not a real thing in public schools while Omicron is.

Governor (ack) Youngkin has one little problem with his mandate ban. That problem is, he can’t ban face masks mandates in public schools. There is a state law that says schools should adhere, “to the maximum extent practicable,” to any currently applicable mitigation strategies outlined by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Guess what the CDC advises with face mask mandates in public schools? The CDC guidelines include mask mandates for public schools.

Governor Youngkin (ack), being an idiot, has actually publicly supported this law by citing the part that “requires schools to offer full-time, in-person learning with limited exceptions.” He just didn’t read the second half of it.

Youngkin told an interviewer last week, “The way that Virginia works is that the governor cannot ban mask mandates. Schools make those decisions. We will in fact, then, also make sure that schools allow parents to exercise their rights for what’s best for their children, to opt-out of those mandates.” Uh…you know it’s not a mandate when you take away the mandate, right?

Republicans claim President Biden and Vice-President Harris are confusing but spend five seconds talking to this guy. Also, why should it be a parent’s decision that someone else’s kid gets covid? What’s next? Republican laws that make it easier for your kid to take a gun to school to kill someone else’s kid? Oh, wait.

Our new governor (ack) doesn’t know shit about education or science, so naturally, his first two executive orders were on schools and science.

The school systems in Arlington, Alexandria, and Fairfax are telling parents to ignore the new governor (Ugh) and that face mask mandates still stand. Ignoring idiots is good guidance. Maybe the CDC should issue something on that.

Youngkin is vowing to use state resources to attack schools that are trying to protect their students. This is reminiscent of when Attorney General (ack) Ken Cuccinelli used state resources to fight universities studying climate change. Enough with these goon agendas.

The General Assembly may change the law that requires schools to follow CDC guidelines, but the governor (ack) is trying to change the law all by himself with an executive order on his very first day in office (ack). Did I mention this was on his first day in office? It was on his first day in office our new governor (ack) tried to delete a law while creating more dangerous environments for our children. It’s going to be a long four years.

Congratulations, Virginia. You made a goon governor (ack).

Music note: Today’s tooning tunes were by Paul Simon and Pearl Jam.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Texas Taliban Bans

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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I’m kinda getting tired of drawing cowboys but I’m probably not done.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Florida Taliban

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Right-wing extremists are encroaching upon innocent victims and insisting they be controlled by their fundamentalists dogma. These extremists are religious nut jobs who abandoned facts and science a long time ago in favor of cultist beliefs. Their outdated culture is used to oppress women and threatens the lives of millions. For these extreme conservatives, their anti-science cult leaders are the heroes and the villains are scientists, doctors, nurses, and educators. The government is being taken over by these racist fundamentalists who have no tolerance for diversity. Many have given up on the area and the innocent and enlightened are encouraged to take their families and flee for their lives before it’s too late.

Yes, my friends…Florida is a lost cause. I also hear Afghanistan is pretty bad.

The Taliban is on the verge of retaking Afghanistan after losing near-complete control two decades ago. A lot of people are blaming President Joe Biden for this as he evacuated all military personnel. But I think this validates the president pulling our troops out. If the government of Afghanistan can’t maintain control of its country after being propped up by the U.S. military for over two decades, then they never will. the only way for us to keep the Taliban from retaking Afghanistan would be for us to be there forever. If anything, we have wasted two decades and according to the Pentagon’s latest numbers, over $815 billion on the war in that nation. Other institutions have that number over $900 billion.

I feel bad for everyone in Afghanistan who’s not a fundamentalist whack job that bans women from schools and blows up statues, but instead of spending $900 billion on a lost cause in Afghanistan, we could have spent that money at home. We could have given everyone a free college education, healthcare, fixed our infrastructure, brought broadband to Arkansas, or at the very least, had taken everyone to Arby’s at least 12 times. Disclaimer: Cartoonists are notoriously bad at math and I’m just guessing at these figures. But I don’t need to be a mathamawhatchmacallit to know we could have funded a lot of cool shit and still gone to Arby’s with $900 billion.

Not only should we give up on Afghanistan, we should also give up on Florida.

Even without the right-wing fundamentalists taking everything over, Florida’s always been a little messed up. Remember the entire hanging chad thing in 2000 when Florida’s election for president was stolen from Al Gore and given to George W. Bush? And then Bush started two wars with one of them being in…wait for it…Afghanistan. So in a way, our two decades war in Afghanistan is kind of Florida’s fault. Thanks, Florida.

We we had high hopes for Florida. President Obama won it twice. We thought Hillary Clinton would win it in 2016 but surprise, Trump took it. I was like, “Whaaaaaa’at?” Then, we thought Andrew Gillum would win the governorship but instead, Florida gave it to guy who ran commercials showing him teaching his daughter how to build a racist border wall out of Legos. Florida let Rick Scott, Voldemort’s doppelganger, go from being its idiotic and hateful governor to being one of its idiotic and hateful senators. The other Senator is Marco Rubio. One of its congressmen is Matt Gaetz, a right-wing Trump cultist idiot who is under investigation for being a pedophile. Then, Florida voted again for Donald Trump.

The most shocking thing about Florida is that Rand Paul and Ted Cruz aren’t from there.

Now, with the Delta Variant proving it’s a really bad idea not to be vaccinated, Ron DeSantis, the racist Lego guy, is trying to prevent schools from mandating face masks.

Also, Florida is full of flying buzzy stingy things, other creatures that crawl and slither and should be in places like Burma instead of the United States, it’s nearly impossible to go through the day without walking into at least one spider web, backyard swimming pools have a 70/30 human to alligator ratio, it’s really sticky, and if you go to the beach, the sand just gets everywhere.

Florida is so toxic that if Dwayne the Rock Johnson was to film one of his crappy movies where he’s wearing a ridiculous hat while he and his muscles are braving the Florida swamps…they’d probably film it in Atlanta. Seriously, everything is being made in Atlanta now, and that stupid hat on The Rock alone is stopping me from seeing Disney’s “Jungle Cruise.” Besides, I already saw “The Mummy.”

Then there’s Florida Man. Who’s Florida Man? Florida Man is a Floridian who does shit like…

Throwing an alligator through a Wendy’s drive-thru window. This is really messed up because you should never drive without putting a seatbelt on your gator.

When Hurricane Irma was hitting Florida, thousands of Florida Mans went outside…to shoot at the hurricane. Why didn’t they just throw alligators at it?

Florida Man decided that when he left a hospital, he should do so by stealing an ambulance.

Florida Man broke into a jail to hang out with his friends. He was lonely. I kinda expect this to happen a lot after Donald Trump is arrested.

Florida Man robbed a Game Stop while wearing a bag on his head…a transparent bag.

Florida Man paints anti-Hillary messages on Tampa Bay crabs. It was probably Matt Gaetz.

Florida Man stole a car while a monkey was clinging to his chest. No word if there was an alligator in the car.

Florida Man steals peacocks.

Florida Man kills a goat and drinks its blood for a Pagan sacrifice…and then runs for the Senate. Shockingly, it was NOT Rick Scott. Also, Paganism is still behind Trumpism for Florida’s favorite cult.

Florida Man tries to burn down his former lover’s house with pasta sauce…while disguised as a bull. That’s actually smart because the costume will throw investigators off. Bulls are well-known for their dislike of pasta.

Florida Man stole a BMW after failing to purchase it with food stamps.

Florida Man practices karate on swans. The swans won.

Florida Man was kicked out of a Trump rally for wearing a fake penis on his head. Only real penises are allowed on heads at Florida Trump rallies. They did let him back in when they realized it was Eric Trump.

Florida Man gets arrested for riding manatees. “Riding” is a euphemism here and it was Matt Gaetz.

Florida Man steals bees.

At another Wendy’s (or maybe the same Wendy’s), Florida Man climbs to the roof in his underwear to yell at traffic.

Another Florida Man smuggled another alligator, a dead one this time, in his car. Do all Florida cars have a 70/30 human to alligator ratio?

Florida Man keeps a dozen stolen zoo animals in his apartment. No word on how many were alligators.

Florida Man tries to walk out of Walmart with over $170 worth of steak and lobster in his pants. At least they weren’t alligators.

Florida Man beats a drag queen with a tiki torch while dressed as Klansman…then runs for mayor. How do they know he wasn’t a Klansman? Also, I’m predicting he ran as a Republican.

Florida Man breaks into a delivery room where his ex is giving birth and starts a fight with her boyfriend.

Florida Man calls 911 to talk about Hitler. Was the call coming from Mar-a-Lago?

And finally, Florida Man screams from a shitty golf course that he won an election he lost and will eventually be reinstated. Next, he’ll climb on top of a Wendy’s with an alligator to scream at traffic about the stolen election. I’m calling it.

I have two clients in Florida (I had more before the pandemic). One of the editors told me I should move to Florida because I would have a Florida topic every day. I could probably support myself just by syndicating to Florida news outlets. But then I look at Florida…and yeah, no. I would really enjoy cartooning Florida but I don’t think I could deal with living there. I know I don’t want to. Honestly, I could probably maybe handle the lunacy, but I can’t handle that kind of heat anymore. And it’s sticky. I hate sticky almost as much as bulls hate pasta.

Ron DeSantis and his fellow right-wing extremists, his Florida Taliban, are intent on destroying Florida. Maybe it’s time we gave up on Florida. The only question is: Where do we resettle all the refugees?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

DeathSantis

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Remember that time I wrote I would try not to use the Angel of Death for Ron DeSantis in my next cartoon? You know…yesterday. I failed.

I had another idea but then I got this one. I thought instead of avoiding what has now become a cliché, take that cliché, the Grim Reaper, and make it part of the point of the cartoon. The point here isn’t just to make fun of other cartoonists for using the same concept over and over (and that’s part of it), but that if so many are using it, then there must be something to it.

There is something to it. Ron DeSantis, that Florida Man governor, is ignoring science for a cheap political payoff. This guy will endanger the lives of Floridians, through children, for his own political gain. Ron DeSantis is not just running for reelection for governor…he’s running for president. And the scary thing is, it works in Florida.

The risk to children is not as great as it is to adults. Out of the over 600,000 who have been killed by covid in the United States, only a little over 400 have been children. One avoidable death of a child is too many, but less than one percent is a very low rate. But, the risk to children is rising with the Delta Variant…which can now be called the DeSantis Variant.

It’s not just death that’s a tragedy when it involves a child. Hospitalization of a child is a tragedy, and those are increasing…especially in Florida. This isn’t just a risk to children. There is a danger that infected children will give the coronavirus to more vulnerable adults.

One thing that could help with all this would be if Donald Trump made a public service announcement for vaccines. The entire messaging from the right would change overnight. Sure, they’d claim they always championed vaccines and gaslight the hell out of it, but if it saves lives, so be it. If more adults are vaccinated, it will definitely help prevent the virus being transmitted to children under the age of 12 who can’t be vaccinated.

Right now, Ron DeSantis isn’t banning face masks in schools. What he is banning are schools mandating face masks. Do you remember when Republicans used to claim they were about local governments. Remember when they were against big government making decisions for local boards? With this, Ron DeSantis is taking control away from local school boards. He’s being big government while claiming he’s protecting Florida from big government. This is standard Republican logic.

Ron DeSantis says parents should have the freedom to decide if their kids will wear face masks. Ignoring science, he’s decided that parents have the freedom to decide if their kids can kill other people’s kids.

Ron DeSantis claims he’s standing in big government’s way to protect freedom…so he’s standing in local government’s way. Ron DeSantis is no champion of freedom and he’s no angel. But he is the Grim Reaper.

Update: I’ve been asked on my blog, Facebook, Twitter, FB Messenger, and in email so I should just come clean about it now. I DO NOT own a pair of pink bunny slippers. Sorry.

Creative note: Even though I draw my cartoons on a tablet, I will usually make my cartoonists in cartoons drawing on paper on a drafting table. But I decided to make this one more realistic to my situation, despite not actually owning pink bunny slippers. My table looks kinda like this, I have a CNN coffee mug, there is not a tree outside my window (it’s a roof of a Tex-Mex restaurant), and there aren’t pizza boxes laying around my studio. The last time I got Pizza Hut, which I normally like, I could only eat half of it. It was gross. There is a lot of other stuff on my table.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Covid Rickshaw

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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I drew two other cartoons on the coronavirus and vaccines this weekend in addition to this one. I may draw one on vaccine passports tonight.

Do you remember that Devin Nunes Cow twitter account that was newsworthy last year or so? Yeah, that guy…or cow…retweeted this cartoon. That cow retweet got over 700 likes, 200 retweets, and a shit ton of comments with many of them accusing me of…wait for it….fatophobia.

Apparently, I’m being mean to fat people. Can I use the fat-friend defense? Some of my best friends are fat? There are fat people in my family? I’m getting fat?

Here’s the thing, kids. The guy being pulled up the hill is supposed to be heavy. It’s hard to draw a heavy skinny guy. Fact.

Stop being a bunch of fat crybabies. I kid. I kid.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Covid Picnic

Cjones08012021

A conservative colleague of mine posted a cartoon yesterday stating he did not understand why all of us, including those who are vaccinated, have to return to wearing face masks.

My colleague is not a stupid person. I believe he’s just playing to the stupid base because he knows what side of his stupid bread gets the stupid butter. But let’s pretend he is stupid because you have to be stupid to not understand why we have to go back to wearing face masks.

It’s pretty simple. We have to go back to wearing face masks because of simplistic, whiny, moronic, pathetic, selfish rightwing assholes who have spent the past year and a half attacking science and those who spread facts.

There is no excuse for failing to understand this because the information is readily available and it’s been repeated again and again. Maybe instead of attacking Dr. Fauci on a minute-by-minute basis, you should have been listening to him.

And since you morons were in direct defiance of health guidelines, you have no excuse not understanding why the virus is making a comeback. Surely along the way of screaming about your rights and liberty while describing those who pushed vaccines as tyrannical socialists, you understood what you were railing against.

You were told if you didn’t vaccinate, that you would help the coronavirus survive and even make a comeback. It’s now making a comeback as a new variant. You spent a year and a half making the pandemic a partisan issue and you have finally succeeded. It’s partisan and mostly killing Republicans. Good job, Jackass.

There is no guarantee you won’t catch the coronavirus after you’ve been vaccinated, but your odds of catching it are a lot lower. And if you do get it, your case will probably be very mild. Hospitals are being overburdened again by an influx of patients with over 90 percent of them being unvaccinated. Do you still not understand? Are you being willfully stupid? Two plus two equals…what? I know you can do this.

And the thing is, you did all this out of being selfish. You guys complained about the inconvenience of wearing masks while knowing full well that you don’t wear it to protect yourself, you wear it to protect others. But you were selfish and entitled. A lot of you wouldn’t get the vaccine because you felt it wouldn’t protect you, or you didn’t care if it would protect you. The best reason to be vaccinated isn’t to protect your own selfish stupid ass. The best reason to get the vaccine is to protect others. It’s to defeat this virus. The best weapon this virus has is ignorance. Your ignorance, hate, and selfishness kept it alive and brought it back.

And, you didn’t just refuse to cooperate and be a part of the solution. You attacked those who were being bigger than you. You attacked those who weren’t being selfish asshole babies. You attacked those who were helping the nation while you were trying to destroy it. You even made yourself out to be the victim, claiming society was ostracizing you because you’re an independent thinker, a freedom lover, or whatever stupid shit Tucker told you to say this week. Next, Tucker’s going to tell you that you’re being victimized by being blamed for bringing the virus back.

And when the face mask mandates were lifted, you took advantage of the hard work of others. You screamed that you shouldn’t have to prove you’ve been vaccinated so you could go into crowded places and spread the virus again.

The virus is coming back, forcing us to resume mask mandates and create vaccine mandates (like the one they have at Fox News in the building where Tucker screams against mask mandates). It’s coming back because you’re an asshole. This is all your fault.

Now do you understand?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Gas, Mask, Vax, Cheesecake

Cjones05172021

We have reached a milestone and a new independence by the new guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control. Earlier in the week, we were told by our president, Joe Biden, that we don’t have to wear face masks outdoors anymore. Now, you don’t have to wear face masks indoors either, but there’s a catch. You have to be vaccinated.

If you have been vaccinated, it doesn’t matter if everyone else in the room are mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging anti-vax hysteria-spreading troglodytes. You can still go without a mask. The odds of you catching Covid19 from the morons are very slim…unless you’re a New York Yankee.

But, because of those morons, we’re probably going to have to keep our masks on. Why? Because they’re fuckers and fuckers are always being fuckers. Everyone is supposed to be honest about whether or not they’re vaccinated. We’re using the honor system with fuckers who have no honor.

We’re going to have problems from the anti-vaxxers. These people don’t have principles. While they took a stand against vaccinations, wearing face masks, and social distancing, they’ll abandon those principles to claim they are vaccinated so they can go maskless inside an art gallery….OK, not an art gallery…inside a Cracker Barrel just because. That’ll stick it to the libs.

Or, they’ll go to Cracker Barrel, Cheesecake Factory, or Walmart and start demanding they don’t have to wear a mask since the vaccinated shoppers are allowed entry without wearing masks. They’ll cry, “You think you’re better than me?” Yes. I do think the vaccinated are better than you.

There are two ways to fix this.

First, require vaccine IDs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’ll be divisive and just piss off the mouth breathers even more, but fuck them. Still, there are backward red states, like Florida, that have outlawed requiring vaccine IDs. Why, why, why? It’s so stupid. It’s like they’re trying to keep the pandemic alive. Also, if IDs are required, you know fuckers will be selling them on the black market. Actually, they already are.

I’m all for vaccine IDs. They won’t infringe upon anyone’s constitutional rights like, say…voter IDs. Florida hasn’t banned those.

And since we’re not going to force everyone in the nation to get vaccinated, the only other solution is for businesses to require EVERYONE to continue wearing face masks. That way, the shops can say they’re not being selective, politicizing, punishing, or playing favorites.

Because of these mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, sister-marrying anti-vaxxers, we can’t have nice things. Even though the president says those of us who are vaxxed can take off our masks, we still can’t go inside our banks and grocery stores without face masks or lick the faces of strangers at bus stations. And you know the people who are prevent us from returning to normal are the same assholes hoarding gas by pumping it into Hefty garbage bags.

Yay, we have reached a milestone and the pandemic is waning…no thanks to MAGAts. We got here despite them. I am fully vaccinated and I will now be going outside without wearing a face mask. I’m going to continue carrying it with me just in case I’m in an outdoor setting where going maskless may make someone feel uncomfortable. I’m going to continue wearing a face mask indoors. I’m going to continue social distancing. And most of all, I’m not going back to shaking hands.

If nothing else, all the safeguards in place to prevent catching Covid19 prevented most of us from catching the flu and common cold last year. Let’s keep that up.

In two weeks, I’ll be on a train. The last time I was on a train, it gave me Covid19. Face masks be required but even if they weren’t, I would be wearing my mask on this upcoming trip.

Again, because of MAGAts, we can’t have nice things and I don’t think any of them deserves any cheesecake.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tucker Abuse

Cjones05112021

Covid deniers, the anti-maskers, and the anti-vaxxers are playing the whining game over faux abuse for being flat Earthers. They claim they’re being scorned by society and assaulted for not getting vaccinated and for not wearing face masks. They argue it’s their body and their choice, overlooking that their choice affects other people’s bodies.

Numerous videos have been posted on social media of Kens and Karens wailing inside businesses that require them to wear face masks. These are the same people who champion the rights of a bakery to refuse to make gay wedding cakes. Why does a cake have to straight or gay? Why can’t there just be wedding cakes?

The truth is, nobody is being persecuted for not wearing a face mask or for refusing to be vaccinated. One of the fucknuts who comments on my videos equated discrimination against anti-vaxxers to the Holocaust. As if being seated in a germy section of a restaurant is the same as being ripped from your home, having all your possessions taken, put into forced labor, murdered by the millions, and having your body used to make soap. We already discriminate against smokers. Why can’t we seat anti-vaxxers into the shitty section of restaurant next to the bathrooms? And let’s make those bathrooms unisex just to piss them off further.

I am probably the biggest advocate for treating anti-vaxxers differently. I don’t see anyone on cable news arguing to discriminate against these Flat Earthers. Maybe one or two people believe they should be seated last on an airplane while I think we should make those fuckers walk. I’m willing to meet you half way on this and put them all on Greyhound.

There is no abuse or persecution of people for not wearing face masks. But, there is one guy on cable news advocating for attacking people who are wearing face masks. Of course, I’m talking about Tucker Carlson.

Tucker Carlson is a horrible person. He’s also an idiot. A couple weeks ago on his TV show that’s number one in ratings for Klansmen, he pushed the idea of bullying people for wearing face masks, calling anyone wearing a facemask “liberal zealots” and “neurotics.”

Tucker is fighting to prolong the pandemic. He’s continuing to politicize the pandemic and the effort to return to normal. Tucker is working against our nation. He’s advocating to broaden a public health crisis that’s killed over 580,000 people in this nation.

It gets worse. Tucker argued that making a child wear a face mask outside is child abuse. He said, “As for forcing children to wear masks outside, that should be illegal. Your response when you see children wearing masks as they play should be no different from your response to seeing someone beat a kid in Walmart. Call the police immediately, contact child protective services. Keep calling until someone arrives. What you’re looking at is abuse, it’s child abuse and you are morally obligated to attempt to prevent it.”

“If it’s your own children being abused, then act accordingly. Let’s say your kids school emailed you and announced that every day after lunch, your sixth-grader was going to get punched in the face by a teacher. How would you respond to that? That’s precisely how you should respond when they tell you that your kids have to wear masks on the soccer field. That is unacceptable, it is dangerous, and we should act like it because it is. But too few of us have responded like that, we have been shamefully passive in the face of all of this.”

Tucker is a bully and he’s advocating his viewers to be bullies. He wants everyone to be like Marjorie Taylor Greene and stalk children and scream at them. He wants you to traumatize children by calling the cops on their parents. It’ll be like that lady who called police because she saw black people having a picnic in a public park. And the worst part is, the police showed up.

There are probably police in North Carolina who will respond to a hateful idiot like Tucker over parents having their kids wear face masks. Personally, I think we should call the cops on parents who force their children into mullets.

Tucker also believes seeing someone outdoors in a face masks is like seeing a man “expose himself in public.” Fantasizing it was happening to him, Tucker said, “That’s disgusting, put it away please, we don’t do that here.” It seems he put a lot of thought into this naked man in public thing. Why is Tucker obsessed with naked men? It’s not like seeing a woman expose herself in public? Does Tucker count penises to fall asleep? Live on TV, he was fantasizing about naked men. Go figure.

Tucker told his viewers to walk up to people wearing a mask outside, not just over their children wearing one, and say, “Your mask is making me uncomfortable.” Here’s a fact: If I’m wearing a mask outdoors, the only thing it has to do with you is that it’s keeping you safe.

If you’re outside away from people or in a small group, the CDC says you can take your mask off. But if you’re uncomfortable with that, go ahead and wear your face mask. Why should anyone care? If my face mask is making you uncomfortable, then does that give me the right to tell you that your MAGA shirt is making me uncomfortable? Can I tell assholes toting guns around in public they’re making me uncomfortable? What about an asshole in a car with his windows down playing Toby Keith? Can I scream at that guy?

Sure, if a guy is outside with his penis exposed and he’s shaking it at you, you have a right to be uncomfortable. But it’s not the same thing as wearing a face mask.

I’m not in favor of changing health policy based on what makes Tucker Carlson comfortable. That’s how it is with these white conservative men who are selfish. It’s all about what makes them comfortable. It also applies to when their white privilege is threatened. They championed Kyle Rittenhouse driving across state lines because protesting against police violence made them uncomfortable. Donald Trump tear-gassed a crowd outside the White House for a photo-op and because they made him uncomfortable. Several states are now crafting legislation making it legal to run over protesters for making you uncomfortable.

Tucker equated wearing a face mask to punching a child in the face. Hmmmm. I’m thinking Tucker has never actually been punched in the face and that makes me very sad. How is it possible that a fucker like Tucker has never been punched in the face? How do you look like THIS and never get punched in the face? Oh yeah, Swiss boarding schools and white privilege. Perhaps he should be punched in the face just so he knows how wrong his comparison of face punches and face masks is. Punching Tucker Carlson in the face would actually be a public service since he has a nightly show where he attempts to provide Nazis with “information.” If he understands that being punched in the face is nothing like wearing a face mask, that would be a good thing for Fox News viewers and even Tucker. He might even thank you. Tucker Carlson needs a punch in the face. Society demands it. Can we get #PunchTuckerCarlsonInTheFace trending?

So, any volunteers to educate Tucker and punch him in the face?

Creative note: Yes, those are cicadas in the cartoon. And where are they? It’s May 8 and they’re not here yet. If I don’t get some cicadas soon, I’m going to demand a cicada refund.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: