Dont Say Gay

Don’t Say “Guns”


Did you know that more than 30 states have laws allowing school districts to arm teachers? Naturally, giving guns to teachers is a Republican idea, like banning doors.

It’s not a great idea to arm teachers. Some states require over 150 hours of firearm training before a school employee can carry a gun to school, but places like Ohio only require 20. And, a lot of these school districts don’t notify parents that teachers can carry guns or which teachers are actually doing so.

Over the past year, we heard all this bullshit about parental rights and how they should set the curriculum. Let’s get rid of Critical Race Theory. Let’s ban controversial books. Don’t say “gay.” But, Republicans don’t want you to know that your child’s teacher has a Sig Sauer in her book bag. Some parents in Ohio learned their kids’ teacher had a gun in her purse when one of her students pulled it out and pointed it at another student.

If more guns in school are what we need to combat school shootings, then by Republican logic, we should put more Critical Race Theory and gays in school.

Giving teachers, coaches, bus drivers, and lunch ladies guns is a horrible idea. It won’t deter mass shooters as most are willing to die. Cafeteria casserole would be more of a deterrent to mass shooters than teachers with guns (remember school casseroles? Yuck). And if cops are like the ones in Uvalde, why should a teacher be willing to engage a shooter when the cops won’t? On top of all that, when the cops do enter, how are they supposed to be able to tell the difference between the bad guy with a gun and the good guy with the gun?

The rest of the world is dismayed by our gun culture. We are the only developed nation with this problem. And our solutions are always more guns. In case you haven’t noticed, the more-guns strategy isn’t working.

The best way to get rid of gun violence is to get rid of guns. Republicans claim that would never work but we have actual proof it does. It only hasn’t worked here because we haven’t done it here.

We need to ban home ownership of assault rifles. Owning an assault rifle should be like owning a horse when you don’t have room on your property for a horse. If you live in a city and own a horse, you pay a stable to house your horse. You don’t take the horse home. You go to the stable to ride your horse, brush his mane, give him an apple, then you go home without your horse…but he’s still there. It should be like that with assault rifles. They should all be licensed and stored at gun ranges. And, there should be training and licensing involved to own a gun. Nobody actually needs an Uzi or an AR-15 for home security. You just don’t.

If we can legislate that people with mental problems can’t own a gun, despite it not being covered in the Constitution, then we can legislate licensing to own a gun. After all, the Second Amendment does say “well-regulated.” It’s time we start regulating.

Allowing teachers to carry guns is an idea approved by the industry that sells guns. That industry is symbiotic with the National Rifle Association…which is a branch of the Republican Party.

As Middle Age Riot on Instagram recently posted, “Republicans think it’s a good idea to give teachers less money, more students, fewer books, fewer resources, more parents in the classroom, more standardized tests, more scrutiny, more pressure, and a gun.”

Teachers and other school employees should not be required to engage mass shooters. Teachers should be required to teach. If Republicans love guns so much, let them engage mass shooters.

Music Note: I started listening to music after the lettering was completed and listened to Verbena, Taylor Swift, Them Crooked Vultures, and the Barenaked Ladies (not that “One Week” song. Ugh).

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Goofy Kills Mickey


Republicans have learned they can do pretty much whatever they want. No matter how devious and corrupt their actions are, Republicans can do it plain and clear in the open and get away with it. Ron DeSantis has learned from Donald Trump that if you’re the leader of your party, which he is in Florida (for now), the rest of his party will follow. No questions asked.

Florida Republicans sent a map of new congressional districts for Governor (sic) DeSantis to sign. He rejected it and made his own, eliminating two districts with black voting majorities, despite the state receiving two additional seats after the last census. DeSantis’ new map doesn’t just eliminate two black congressional seats but adds four new Republican seats. Florida’s Republican legislature was OK with DeSantis throwing out their map for his, and quickly approved it. Now DeSantis is going to sign the legislation he created. This is fascism.

Now, they’re attacking Disney for criticizing their “Don’t say gay” bill that bans teachers from discussing gay issues or sexual identification in schools. Disney criticized the bill, because it’s stupid and bigoted, and declared it will cease donating to political campaigns in the state. In retaliation, DeSantis and Florida Republicans voted yesterday to eliminate Disney’s self-governing status.

Florida created a law in 1967 giving The Walt Disney Company governmental control over the land in and around its central Florida theme parks. The special-purpose district gave Disney the responsibility for providing municipal services like power, water, roads, and fire protection, but freed the company from dealing with legal red tape or paying taxes for services that benefited the broader public.

Florida gave this special designation to Disney in exchange for the company making the state the base of Disney World and attracting millions of tourists. In 1967, Florida needed Disney more than Disney needed Florida. But as we’ve all come to learn, Republicans are backstabbers.

A self-governing status isn’t a privilege just for Disney in Florida. There are over 200 of these corporate self-governing districts in the state, like The Villages.

The Villages is a corporate-owned retirement community with a population of 80,000 angry Republican-voting seniors. Remember that video of an old fuck in a golf cart wearing pro-Trump gear and screaming “white power” at Black Lives Matter protesters in 2020? That was in The Villages. Donald Trump, who is the only president to visit The Villages twice, tweeted the video thanking The Villages. Anyway, The Villages, where old white people scream racist chants, votes overwhelmingly Republican. The vote for Trump over Biden in 2020 was over 70 percent in The Villages. So, you don’t see Republicans eliminating The Villages’ self-governing status, which makes it clear their vote against Disney’s status isn’t because they’re against self-governing districts.

This vote is merely about revenge and being butthurt. It’s obvious, it’s clear, and it’s out in the open. The only way not to see how petty and vile this action really is is by refusing to see it. They’re voting against a corporation that just said they’re not going to give the party and its candidates money anymore. This is fascism. This is a cult.

Republicans are forgetting that Disney helped build Florida. Their punishment of Disney is punishing the state, but Republicans will cut off their nose to spite their face. And, they don’t think long term. Case in point: Taking away this self-governing district will leave a debt hanging for taxpayers in Orange and Osceola counties to pick up, perhaps to the tune of over $2,000 per household. Remember, Republicans are supposed to be the party that cuts taxes.

Republicans voted to eliminate the self-governing district before working out all the details. They’re leaving that job for the next legislative session. Ever buy something with payments you can’t afford but think, “I’m sure I’ll figure out how to make those payments…which start next month. But look how shiny my new toy is.” That’s what Florida Republicans just did. Hitting Disney is the shiny toy they couldn’t wait to hit and show their base what they’ve done. It’s so shiny.

I’m curious if Florida’s increasingly right-leaning MAGA voters are going to look at their next tax bill and say, “I’m happy to pay this because Disney is a bunch of groomers.” Will they believe the principles of attacking a company just because they pissed off one man, Ron DeSantis, is worth them each paying over $2,000? I really don’t know because Florida Republicans are stupid. I’m sure DeSantis will find a way to blame that bill on Democrats, Disney, and pedophiles.

The legislation killing Disney’s self-governing status doesn’t mention Disney. It only designates the special districts created before 1968. Of course, there was only one special self-governing district in Florida before 1968.

Sometimes doing the right thing is costly, like Disney taking a stand and speaking out against Republican homophobia. And other times, doing the wrong thing is very expensive. Except, it may not be expensive for Republicans…just the people who voted for them.

Music Note: While drawing today’s cartoon, I listened to the Four Seasons, Dion, Del Shannon, and The Drifters.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Woke Math


Some days, I just can’t make this shit up.

Florida banned teachers from discussing sexual orientation and gender identity. Then Florida banned abortion after 15 weeks, even in the case of rape or incest. Now, they’re banning woke math. Seriously.

Republicans really hate when you refer to the homophobic legislation as the “Don’t say gay” bill, but it’s not like they ever called the Affordable Healthcare Act by its rightful name. Republicans point out that the term “don’t say gay” isn’t in the legislation, but that’s what it amounts to. To prove it doesn’t say gay, goons will post this test from the legislation: Classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in kindergarten through grade 3 or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards.

That text screams “don’t say gay.” Now, if you disagree with this legislation that’s extremely ambiguous, its troglodyte supporters will accuse you of being a pedophile. Believing that children should be educated about people different than themselves and taught to accept them on their own terms doesn’t mean you’re a pedophile. Not wanting to raise a generation of goose-stepping Floridian bigots doesn’t make you a “groomer.” Florida Republicans are grooming the next generation to be haters. By the way, they’re OK if a teacher says “straight.”

Then, Ron DeSantis signed the new abortion ban that copies Mississippi’s abortion ban. The only things that should be copied from Mississippi are food, music, literature, and Marshall Ramsey’s sunny and positive attitude. He’s like Soup for Souls in jogging shorts (because he jogs). What you don’t copy from the state that just recently stopped flying the Confederate hater flag against its will is its legislation.

Florida House Representative Dana Trabulsy, a Republican, said she voted against the bill because she had an abortion years ago and is ashamed. But legal abortion didn’t make Rep. Trabulsy get an abortion. She chose to get the abortion. She had that right but now after she got to choose, she wants to take that right, that decision, away from other women. That’s a classic white Republican position. They can have it but you can’t. If you’re a woman in Florida, Republican Dana Trabulsy just took away your ability to make the decision she made.

She explained her vote to ban abortion in Florida with the statement, “This is the right to life and to give up life is unconscionable to me.” It wasn’t unconscionable to you when you wanted to exercise your “right” to abort a fetus, Rep. Hypocrite. And finding it “unconscionable” isn’t a legal argument against abortion. Abortion being a constitutional right doesn’t force you to have an abortion.

I find it unconscionable to put ketchup on a hot dog but I don’t think it should be illegal based on my morals and hot dog ethics. It’s not like I believe we should send people who desecrate perfectly good hot dogs with ketchup to a hidden island off the coast of Brunei for hot dog reeducation.
OK, I lied. I do think putting ketchup on a hot dog should be illegal and offenders proven guilty should be sent to an island off the coast of Brunei for hot dog reeducation.

What should be unconscionable to every Florida Republican is forcing a teenager to have her uncle’s baby…or her brother’s or her father’s. Now, they’re going to force poor women and girls to leave the state to exercise their constitutional rights…or force them to stay and have a baby. Perhaps the worst thing is that baby will have to grow up in backwater Florida and probably without the proper mustard/hot dog curriculum. The horror!

Now, Ron DeSantis is banning math. The Education Commissioner has banned 54 math books on the argument they will “indoctrinate” children. The banned books accounted for 71 percent of all math books for grades K-5. The Florida Department of Education said the books were rejected for not being “appropriately aligned” with Florida’s standards, as well as including prohibited topics and unsolicited strategies.

The department’s announcement said, “Florida Rejects Publishers’ Attempts to Indoctrinate Students.”

I know “indoctrinate” is a bad word, and using it without being specific is a great way to get dumbfucks riles up and outraged, but wouldn’t you want your kids “indoctrinated” to add and subtract, and not indoctrinated with putting ketchup on hot dogs? Nobody does that naturally. They were raised that way.

DeSantis said, “It seems that some publishers attempted to slap a coat of paint on an old house built on the foundation of Common Core, and indoctrinating concepts like race essentialism, especially, bizarrely, for elementary school students.” Maybe someone should slap…I better not finish that sentence.

And, what? “Race essentialism”? They are banning math books for containing what they’ve determined to be “Critical Race Theory.” Did the Department of Education provide any examples of CRT in Florida math books? No. But, fortunately for you, you have me here to speculate. Oh, good.

If Florida math books consist of math equations glazed with a touch of Critical Race Theory, I imagine the questions would go something like this:

Ken and Mark are hired for the same job on the same day. Ken and Mark have the exact same education and work experience. Ken and Mark are the exact same age. Ken’s new salary is $75,000 and Mark’s is $67,000. Ken is white and Mark is black. Thanks to America’s systemic racism, what is the percentage between both men’s salaries?

Another Critical Racy Theory question in the banned books might be this: If police shoot the same number of white people as they shoot black people, but black people only make up 13 percent of the U.S. population, what ratio is the discriminatory discrepancy? I’ll help you out. It’s 38 per million for blacks and 15 per million for whites.

Maybe a question for a future Florida math book can be: Suzy has two mommies. They live in a house they bought in Bradenton for $430,000. If the Bradenton real estate market increases by seven percent, how much will Suzy’s two mommies get for selling the house when they flee to a more enlightened state that doesn’t have a bigoted education system making Suzy feel ashamed for having two mommies? The answer is $461,100 and a mentally well-balanced Suzy who doesn’t grow up cutting herself in a closet.

Here’s another: If you’re a black person in Florida, how many whites screaming at you about Critical Race Theory does it take for you to say to yourself, “That’s some serious dog-whistling shit”?

And another: If you’re black, how many Karens saying they don’t believe white privilege is a thing does it take for you to roll your eyes so hard that you get a serious migraine?

Some questions may have to be simplified for Republicans. Let’s try one of those: If Jack has two daddies and they go to Disney World but are stopped by an angry mob who then murders one of Jack’s two daddies and feeds the corpse to alligators and manatees, how many daddies does Jack have left? It’s a trick question as a manatee would never eat one of Jack’s gay daddies because manatees aren’t hateful troglodyte homophobic Republicans. Did you know some manatees swim all the way to Cape Cod? Now we know why. Jack and his two daddies should probably move to Cape Cod as well.

Another simple one for Republicans: If Ron DeSantis and Donald Trump are in a boat off the coast of Mar-a-Lago, how many racist dumbasses are in that boat?

Another question with less math: If you live in Florida, WHY? For the love of God, why are you still in Florida? And, with Republicans all across the nation praising Ron DeSantis and saying, “Now that’s my kind of governor. Yee-Haw!,” there will be more MAGAt Yee-Haw fuckers moving to that state. Get out! Get out! Get the fuck out!

I’m a cartoonist. Cartoonists are notorious for being bad at math, but I can do simple multiplication.
For example: One racist dog-whistling homophobic governor plus one orange racist Ooomp-Loompa golf-ball stealing pussy-grabbing loser-president (sic) in Florida equals get the fuck out of Florida.

Personally, I’d rather live in a state where an apple and two bananas can get it on without being judged. Hold the ketchup.

Music note: I listened to a mix today while drawing this cartoon that included Sugar Ray, Incubus, and 311. I guess my player wanted me to listen to bands with DJs, which is something I’m not super fond of.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: