Cartoon

Palin’s Blame Game


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I wanted to draw a cartoon on the whiteness of the Oscars. I also want to do one on the Flint water crisis which is a more important issue. But Sarah Palin won’t shut up.

I didn’t want to do something on Palin two days in a row. In case you didn’t get the reference in yesterday’s cartoon, the “bag of hammers” was a reference to the Grizzly Mama. I couldn’t resist after her second day in a row of being a blabbering mess. This time she blamed Obama for her son’s recent arrest.

In case you’re not in the know, Palin’s son, Track (yes, that’s his name), was arrested for domestic violence. He’s accused of punching a girl he’s in a relationship with, being drunk while doing so, and there was a firearm involved. Police say his Trackness was “uncooperative, belligerent and evasive” during their questioning, which helped lead to the arrest.

Republicans love to blame Obama for everything. I thought it couldn’t reach a higher level of ridiculousness until Sarah said it was Obama’s neglect of our troops that led to her son’s PTSD that caused him to strike a woman. She said that? You betcha.

Anytime I make fun of her daughter, Bristol, the Palin supporters come after me. They say it’s unfair to pick on her. First off, I’m not fair. Second, Bristol has put herself into the discussion. She blogs her idiotic opinions on politics and current events, and is an advocate for abstinence yet she keeps getting knocked up by different dudes while remaining unmarried. Yeah, she’s fair game.

I promise I’ll try not to draw a Palin cartoon tomorrow. I’m sure Sarah Palin can’t top her last stupid statement before the week’s over. She can’t, right?

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The Endorsement’s In The Bag


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Oh happy day! Sarah Palin’s back. Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump for president today. The only way life could get better for a political cartoonist would be if Trump makes her his veep pick while ditching Melania and proposing to her.

Palin chose between Trump and Ted Cruz. Even if you’re choosing between those two for your vote, you’re a special kind of stupid. She endorsed Cruz for his Senate run and he was very saddened not to get her support this time as he wouldn’t be required to go duck hunting with camo makeup on his face like he had to do for the endorsement of those Duck Dynasty lunatics.

It was Trump’s second endorsement of the day. Earlier in the day he picked up the endorsement from John Wayne’s family. Trump talked about how John Wayne, from Iowa, displayed toughness and a manly swagger (I made that up but it’s the gist of what he said). John Wayne, real name “Marion”, served World War II on a movie set. He never shot at anyone nor was he shot at. He wasn’t even a real cowboy but he was a white supremacist. So I’m sure the endorsement from his family is really going to cement that conservative Iowa vote. At least he didn’t do a Michele Bachmann and confuse John Wayne with the serial killer John Wayne Gacy, though perhaps with relatives still available they can endorse Ted Cruz.

Palin showed up at a Trump event and gave a speech that totally wowed the crowd. Wowed or confused them. It was hard to tell but they were really quiet. There’s speculation that a large percentage of the crowd were college kids forced to attend while pledging a fraternity.

During her speech Sarah uttered such brilliants Palinisms as status quo slurping off the gravy train, safety nets into hammocks, “rock ‘n’ rollers and holy rollers” make the world go round, Right-wingin’, bitter-clingin’, proud clingers of our guns,our God, and our religions and our Constitution, wearing political correctness like a suicide vest, drill baby drill, squirmishes, yelling Allah Akbar, no more pussyfooting around, and can I get a hallelujah for the main thing. 

So after hearing her speech we’re pretty sure she either endorsed Trump or suffered a tiny stroke.

Any time I say something even the slightest bit critical of Palin right wingers really come after me. It’s always amusing to be insulted by people who share Palin’s clarity and intellect. At least I think they’re insulting me. Again, it’s hard to tell exactly what point they’re making or if they too, are suffering from tiny strokes.

I was going with another idea but I tweeted out the caption of this cartoon, just on a lark and without any intention of it being my cartoon. Then I started to like it and when I went to delete the post on Facebook it had over 30 likes and a bunch of comments, so I let it stay. People told me it should be my cartoon so, it’s my cartoon. I don’t like to reveal my idea before I draw it (a few of my colleagues show roughs before they publish their cartoons). I prefer the reader experience the writing, punch line, viewpoint, etc, in the cartoon for the first time when they’re reading it.

I also had two other ideas for different subjects when the Palin news broke. I had to go with a Palin/Trump cartoon.

Here’s my first idea, which I killed because it’s obvious. The New York Daily News used the same theme.

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Hillary On Bernie’s Record


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Hillary Clinton doesn’t always lie about Bernie Sanders’ record. Sometimes she has her daughter Chelsea do it.

I spent a really long time drawing this cartoon. It’s after 4:30 AM here on the East Coast and I don’t feel like thinking anymore. So this is all the blogging you’re getting with this cartoon. Sorry about that but I promise I’ll write something extra offensive for you tomorrow.

In tribute to Glenn Frey, he’s somewhere in the crowd. See if you can find him. Sorry there’s no Waldo.

Update: A lot of people (not everyone) seem confused with this cartoon and that I would criticize Hillary Clinton. The confusion is that I’m a political cartoonist and not an activist. While I advocate for issues, I do not work for candidates or causes. While I am left of center, I am not a Democrat. I’m an independent and nobody is off limits. The only decision I have made so far regarding my vote, is that it won’t be for a Republican.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Iranian Hostages


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Who the Hell complains about American hostages and prisoners being released by an enemy nation? Republicans. Specifically Republicans running for president.

They’re upset they were taken in the first place, which we all are. But they say their capture is a result of the disrespect the world has for President Obama, as if it wouldn’t have happened with a Republican president. Americans, members of the military or civilians, have never been taken by a foreign power during any other presidential administration. Oh wait…yes they have. OK, not during a Republican administration….oh yeah…they have. During George W. Bush’s first year in office China captured several military personnel. When they were released Bush apologized to China and let China keep all the technology inside their plane.

They’re also upset with the way Iran promoted the capture by showing video of the sailors on the knees, hands behind their heads, while guns were pointed at them. I agree that’s sickening and it shouldn’t be promoted. But we do it too. After we killed Saddam Hussein’s two sons we flashed photos of their corpses across the media landscape.

In addition to the soldiers being released, Iran released five other prisoners on Saturday. Four of them were part of a “swap.” U.S. clemency was offered to seven Iranians charged or imprisoned for sanctions violations and the dismissal of outstanding charges against 14 Iranians outside the United States. They were not shipped to Iran and can pretty much go wherever they want. None of the seven were charged with terrorism.

Republicans are still upset. They say we shouldn’t have made the deal because….they don’t know why but it’s just wrong. They wanted a fight. I guess it would have been OK if a Republican was president and made the deal by illegally giving Iran missiles, which is how President Reagan got hostages released.

The GOP has complained that the release of the five prisoners in Iran should have been a part of the nuclear deal. Their release is not a part of it, but it has coincided with the start of the deal. Yet, they’re still complaining.

It’s funny the people who claim to love America, love the military, claim to be patriots, do the most harm to America and the military. Screaming about the release of the hostages before they’re actually released is a disqualifier for the office of president. Negotiations are sensitive. If you have to risk the lives of Americans and can’t wait another four hours to make political hay, you should not be president.

Diplomacy can work if you give it a chance. Sometimes you have to talk to your enemies. Even Reagan knew that, when someone told him who he was talking to and if he could stay awake long enough. The last time we didn’t give diplomacy a chance we waged a useless war in Iraq. The people who created the mess, foreign and domestic, that Obama has spent eight years cleaning up, are promising to make the mess again.

No thanks!

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Virginia Wee-Wee And Hoo-Haa Checker


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Mark Cole is a Republican representative to the Virginia House of Delegates. He represents parts of Spotsylvania County, Stafford County and the city of Fredericksburg. This is the community I live in. We have a lot of insufferable, right wing, intolerant, fundamentalist lunatics in this area. But dammit. All the other Yahoos coordinated and got this one elected to public office. Suffice it to say, Delegate Cole is not representing my views.

Mr. Cole has a history of sponsoring legislation motivated by his paranoia. In 2010 he sponsored a bill that would ban the implantation of microchips into humans by their employers. He said “there’s a prophecy in the Bible that says you’ll have to receive a mark, or you can neither buy nor sell things in end times, some people think these computer chips might be that mark.” Maybe someone should check Mr. Cole for the Mark of the Beast.

Now he’s worried about which bathroom transgender children will use. He has sponsored a bill which in part legislates the use of bathrooms based on “anatomical sex” in public schools. Cole has not explained how he envisions this law to work. How are school authorities supposed to determine the proper sex of their students? Who does it? How do they do it? Do they put an ad in the paper for a hoo-haa inspector? Will they reject applicants who drive creepy vans? Who the Hell wants that job, I mean other than pedophiles? This is crap I don’t want to think about. Maybe our legislators should stop thinking about it too.

Thankfully I don’t believe these questions will have to be answered since Virginia has a Democratic governor who is not a fundamentalist lunatic who fancies laws that bully children.

Cole says there are parents in his district concerned and worried about transgender children sharing a bathroom with their children. Tell those paranoid parents to instruct their children to use a stall. They still have those in school bathrooms, right? What bothers me more than transgender children are adults who want to check out their genitalia. Stop it.

When Cole isn’t fixated on the genitalia of school children he’s sponsoring bills that support voter suppression, memorialize the U.S. Congress to repeal personal income taxes and enact a national sales tax and another on the right to bear arms (which is already legal).

It’s bad enough students are confronted with bullying by fellow students. They don’t need adults to join in on the bullying.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

New York Values


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Leave it to Ted Cruz to make Donald Trump look and sound like a statesman. What happens if Cruz becomes president? Will he make Kim Jong Un look like Churchill?

In an attempt to defuse Trump’s attack on his eligibility to be president, since he was born in Canada, Ted Cruz warned Republican voters that Trump has “New York values.” This guy who wants to lead the United States has totally disrespected one of the states and its entire population.

It seems if someone’s to be warned about something being from New York, that something is salsa or Barbecue. Not a person. And sure, half of the country hates the Yankees. But to hate a person because of where they’re from?

While Ted tells us what an expert he is on the Constitution, he needs to learn up on geography. New York is in the United States. Calgary is not.

If there’s only one city that can take a hit like it did on 9/11, and grow stronger, that city is New York City. New York is tough. New York is multicultural. New York is a melting pot. You can stereotype any city or state and each and every single one is more complex than a black and white stigma.

New York values embodies fire fighters rushing up the stairs of a building that can fall down any second so they can save as many lives as possible. 343 fire fighters, 60 policemen and eight medics died instantly when those buildings fell down on September 11, 2001.

New York values. Ted Cruz could use some.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

 

 

A Republican Promise


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Other than the ten-minute argument between Trump and Cruz over birtherism and New York values, what you can get from the latest Republican debate is that they promise to get rid of Obama. The only way to sum up the rest of the debate is that they’re all idiots.

Jeb Bush says the country is worse now than before Obama became president. He must be thinking of his brother’s tenure in the Oval Office. Osama is dead, gas prices are under two bucks a gallon, and we still have an automobile industry. Also, employment is up and the rate of government spending has slowed down greatly.

They still don’t understand the U.S. military is the strongest in the world.

They’re promising that if Iran ever takes U.S. sailors hostage again that they’ll get them released quicker than ten hours, which is what Obama did.

Some want to ban all Muslims from entering the country and others only want to ban some Muslims.

They still hate brown people. They still love guns and God. Rubio said our rights come from God, not the government.

All of the candidates are running against Obama, despite Obama leaving office next January. Chris Christie made the dumbest statement of the night, which is quite an achievement considering there were other Republicans on stage, including Ben Carson. Christie said “I hope the President is watching tonight because here’s what I’d like to tell him. We are going to kick your rear end out of the White House come this fall.”

Christie, you’re not kicking anybody anywhere. Obama is leaving in January whether a Republican wins the White House or it goes to Bernie or Hillary. I expect by the next debate Christie will be kicked to the kids’ table.

These guys should be grateful Obama is limited to two terms. He’d clean their clocks in another election.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!